The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#520 - "Back From The Canada"

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

Doug is back from his Canadian tour and Meatwig blasts the podcast. Thank You Patreon Subscribers. We could not do this without your ongoing support. Recorded May 9th, 2023 at the Quiet House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Bingo and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Signed copies of "This Is Not Fame" available while supplies last at Stanhope Store - http://www.dougstanhope.com/store/ We have no idea what the future holds so get on the Mailing List at https://www.dougstanhope.com/. When we know, we'll let you know. LINKS -Lucy.co - Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co and use promo code STANHOPE Closing song, “The Stanhope Rag”, written and performed by Scotty Conant for Doug Stanhope and used with permission – Available on Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/scottyconant Produced and Edited by Chaille.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You're listening to the Schlotzky's for lunch, and I think it was Raider. He goes, you realize you say the Schlotzky's now like it's a friendly neighbor? Stop by the house. The Schlotzky's. Stop by the Schlotzky's. Yeah, it was a fucking blast. Canada was great. I actually made it a mental thing where I go, try to have fun. Which is weird when you have to say that and focus on really try to have fun.

And we did some things. Not a lot of things. Did enough. Yeah. We stayed in a lot of airport hotels. So we walked around a lot of things. Good enough. Yeah. We've stayed in a lot of airport hotels, so we walked around a lot of airports. Went to a lot of airport lounges. That was something. I mean, it's six of one, half done is the other.

Do you go on the road and spend less time in airports, but then spend more time driving? Especially Canada, where it's hours between cities? Or do you hang out at the airport? I mean, I love the airport hotels. They're just way more expensive. Some of the markets.

And they're usually further away than from everything. It's usually at the outskirts. Especially in Canada. It's at the outskirts, especially in Canada. It's at the outskirts of the town. But yeah, Vancouver, we just,

we get to the gig I think six hours early because there was sushi next to it. That killed 25 minutes. And then we just started walking. We walked like four miles. We walked like

two and a half hours. Commercial Avenue. Yeah. Until it ran out and then we walked back and hit a bunch of vintage shops. Did you get anything? Did you find anything of vintage? No. There's a lot of places where we found shit that... Like there was one place that was a bar restaurant that was going out of business,

where if I was driving, we would have filled the car up with some shit. Well, it was interesting because I'm like, so what business? Because you couldn't really tell because there's personal things too, like jeans. Do you have lost and found with jeans at a restaurant? So I go, what is it? Well, you know, a know a little this and it was like the tail end of his thing he had a restaurant there hence all the cool shit that we would have taken for the the fun house and they were just he's i'm out i'm done i'm done doing this everything so so he basically had his old restaurant where you could see where all the where the cooking line line was. All that stuff's gone.

All the stainless steel. I was the first to go. So then, he just put, like, personal items too. And I go, what's next?

He goes, vacation. So he's just fucking off. He's done. Yeah. But, I mean,

there was, I mean, we could have. There was one antique shop with the globes. Yeah, the globes. You found globes,

finally, and you didn't bring them home. You were fine. On what? I know, I know. Exactly. Wearing the cool globes. Okay.

But like a really cool stand-up ashtray, but they were like $700 for, I don't know about the ashtray. Yeah. There's a few things. You want $700? It looked like you could set a scene on Mad Men with the stuff in the back there. The funky oranges and brown vases and stuff

like that. It was really cool. But, I mean, priced way out and, you know, whatever. He's not going out of business. There have to be some fucking vintage places that we don't know about in Tucson. Because, I mean, Tucson Thriftift every time we've gone in there since after pandemic they just have fucking

dick their their stores are spent and the only other one is how sweet it was which is tiny yeah but there's no like vintage furniture place furniture place. I mean, there might be. I don't know that I've ever really looked it up. You might have to change. What? Are you in the market for vintage furniture?

Well, it's the only place I could actually buy it. I mean, remember Cleveland? We went to that place. Oh, yeah. They had that fucking couch

and I was joking on Twitter but kind of trolling for anyone who'd drive that fucking couch out here. All the great places we find. Tucson and Phoenix would be the only place we could find. Sweet Lorraine's, we just hit up that place.

I should probably bleep that so no one goes there. Take that couch. Those guys have a gold mine. That place is great. Yeah. But the thing is with the theater show we were there six hours early

because no one was answering the phone or the text messages for me going like hey I want to advance the show

you know the details you got our writer what time can we get there when's the sound going to be there I don't know if you remember Simon King

he's a comic friend of ours in Vancouver. And we were going to podcast during the day if we could get into the venue. But you had nothing. No, it was a movie theater during the day. They're open for business at 1.30. I saw that the box office was open. So I'm like, Doug, fuck it.

Let's just go. And then we'll figure something out because the box office will be open and we can talk our way in if no one's there, right? Simon, I apologize about that lack of a podcast. We could have tried to do it in the green room, but that was a fucking

hallway. There was nothing there. For real. There was Bollywood fucking features blasting over it anyway, so audio would have been fucked anyway how did you finally get in touch with them by going down there we went there and uh the guy that was running the front door was like oh yeah you guys can go in we're open though and we can walk through there and they're like it's like i'd say two-thirds full really i don't know about the balcony but of people watching a Bollywood movie.

That's kind of hilarious. I would have sat down and watched the movie. I would have. This thing turned off. Oh, sorry. Am I talking too loud? No, no. Yeah, you talked too loud.

You broke the microphone. I'll just put it to the side. Go ahead. Keep going. Wrong hole. So we had time to kill. Okay. So what did you do then? You didn't podcast. No, we to kill. Okay. So what did you do then?

You didn't podcast. No, we just walked. Okay. To the point where my fucking hips were fused. I did hear that. You did call me about that at one point. Yeah. Well, fortunately, we were leaving the next day, so I was pickled and hammered on the

plane so I didn't feel anything. He was a pistol coming home. Oh, yeah? Oh, my God. You don't remember? Do tell. No. Okay, so we get on the plane in, where were we?

Seattle. Yeah, we came from Vancouver. Would you go through customs there? Okay, let's start from the beginning. He gets a fucking flight for 6 a.m., which is basically a commuter flight for us because we're just going south. So it's like...

Yeah, I know. But going from Vancouver to Seattle to Tucson is like going from Seattle to Tucson, really. So he's got us a fucking flight at 6 a.m., which means we've got to get up at 4 a.m. To get to the commuter. To walk over there. Okay. But it's not like we're not going across three time zones to get home.

We're basically just taking a two and a half hour, three hour flight, right? So we've got to get there early, and then he's got his sneaky bottles in the thing. I know. And then by the time we get to Seattle, he's being a little difficult. He's saying things loud, saying things like he knows other people are going to hear. What, on a Vancouver plane? No. When we got in Seattle.

Oh. In Seattle. So when we got there basically we were just going from one lounge to another. And the first one was easy. That's what I want to say. We did leave unnecessarily early. There's probably

about seven more flights that day that would have taken us to Tucson. We didn't have to get up at 4 a.m. It was the one that we could use that buddy pass with. Yes. It's the buddy pass. I didn't do that

for any other reason. You can never use those fucking That is true. It's like saving his plastic Ziploc bag. He's saving a buck. Buddy pass. Come on. The buddy passes are hard to use they even tell you it's like yeah no one ever really gets to use these it's like they're pointless so but they're they're so so very good then then that makes sense why would we do that

i just joined uh two i have i got on reddit now now that i get time off coming up, there's a Facebook group for just Delta Flyers. Skylife, Sky Mile Life, or Sky Club Life, I don't know. And then one for Reddit. So I think these are people that are fanatical like I am about Delta specifically. I think I could trade some of my vintage Delta gear. You want a Delta Barbie doll For a Delta Barbie doll Or something wilder than that

How do you use these fucking Companions certificates In global Whatever Because Delta can't tell you They can't seem to tell you No you just try That's all I know how to do is call Delta and go, hey, I'm trying to use this.

Will it work on this flight? And one guy said, you know what, I'm just going to sit here and just randomly pick flights until your shift is up. He goes, I'm only required to check three flights. Oh, wow. Boy, the new normal. Yeah, the thing is there's websites that tell you a lot of stuff. Like, you know, obviously the points guy is the new normal. Yeah, the thing is, there's websites that tell you a lot of stuff. Like, obviously, the Points guy is the biggest one. And then there's, I want to say, Rene Fabergé.

That's Brendan Walsh's character. His name is Rene, I forget. But they're so knowledgeable that they're using all this nomenclature where you have no fucking idea. On the Reddit. If it's a J-Fair and you're flying on an up-market, down-draft, you're like, I don't fucking know. You've met your match, baby.

So hopefully people that speak the language can integrate myself. They have a huge thing now, and it pisses me off with fucking, you know, my airport pub crawls. Hashtag airport pub crawl. I've been doing those at least since 2014. I found tweets with that hashtag I put out. And I'm like, I'm on one of these groups and they're talking about Sky Mile, Sky Club pub crawl in Atlanta.

There's, I think, nine sky clubs. In Atlanta? Yeah. Yeah. There's a couple of terminals have. Wait, just Delta? Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Because there's, you know, A, B, C, D, E, and T terminals. And a lot of those have... Well, we were somewhere where... I think it was Atlanta. Yeah, because we were flying out to Montreal. And there were...

We hit three in the course of catching our flight. We hit one because you had to use the pisser. Then we hit another one because it was towards our gate. And then we hit another one because the other one was busier and we thought there'd be better food at another one. So they've got these little like pockets where they're going. And we could shoehorn one in there and take off the pressure. Of another one.

Yeah, so they're definitely doing that. So yeah, now that's a big thing. I'm like, God damn, that's kind of my thing. But not in... COVID made that. Well, this obviously is not a sanctioned big thing. I'm like, God damn, that's kind of my thing. But not in... COVID made that. Well, this obviously is not a sanctioned Delta thing. Because the thing is,

they have rules. You have to have one drink in every Sky Club. So nine drinks, and people are doing it. You have three hours... Before they get on a plane, nine drinks, that's more than you. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be tough. But there's also,

I got to think today, they're selling they were selling luggage tags with the Delta logo. That's not it. This is the new one. That's what the crawl says. But this is the new one. They were selling them with Delta's

logo and shit on them. Like it's an official thing. Using the same font as the Million Miler. That didn't fly. Yeah, they get a cease and desist. So you can even buy the tag that has the cease and desist on it. But this one is just a U.S. airport sky pub crawl. Nice Delta on the back.

That's all the Delta. You try to hit all those cities in a year shut up wig you can throw them up here I don't care so what happened was after Seattle okay so

I have two drinks at the Sky Lounge at the Plaza Premium. They don't have a Delta at that terminal in Vancouver. And I didn't serve booze until 9 a.m., so when I got there at 5 a.m., I had to rely on my own stores. In your sleeve. Yeah, and a couple of drinks, and then we get on the plane and Chaley orders for me. Okay, see, I've got equipment here. And his butthole is right on the speaker.

That's the microphone. On the microphone. So Chaley's good about ordering me a drink that he's not going to drink. So I had a double on the flight, the 20-minute fucking flight from Vancouver to Seattle. Oh, okay. And then we hit the Sky Club. There's a really nice Sky Club that we were at when we went up to see your mother. Oh, yeah. That's the 8-gate one.

Two-story one. That's really nice. Mm-hmm. And got that fucking front table with those beautiful red chairs oh yes yes that's incredible then what happened then we get on okay come on shaylee okay first off we were both a little miffed because we gave ourselves enough time to get to what we thought was our gate which would be reasonable. Turns out it's that last gate on the A concourse, which is further than either of us realized

how far it was down. So it was fucked up. And then we ended up having to wait like 20 minutes. So he's doing that thing where he's making comments about people that he's standing right next to. Oh, I know. Yeah, it makes you and I very comfortable. I know those comments. So he's doing that, and right next to you. Oh, I know. It makes you and I very comfortable. I know those comments.

And they're big guys. And you're the muscle. I know how that feels. I'm so good at knowing when people aren't listening. I just throw really loud curveballs all the time. It's a skill. And then we get on...

Hang on. Who are the guys? Tell me the story. The guy with the bald guy, he looked like the teacher in Back to the Future. Hey, McFly, the bald guy. I've never seen him. Yeah. He had headphones on and you were saying things. Wait, is this in the Sky Club?

No, this was waiting to get on our plane. And he was first class too. He had the really cool looking shoes. I thought, I didn't think he had that. The first plane. Second plane. You were drunk during the second flight, not the first flight. So anyway, so he's making comments.

So I'm like, oh fuck. Here we go. And then we get on the plane and he he's he's kind of wavering he gets a drink right and he's kind of wavering and he's sitting he's sitting and he's he's holding oh no like this has the plane taken off no oh no and he's fast asleep like with his mask on and the the drink is like sideways like that yes so i i go to do this like to slowly do that hey hey oh but then he thinks you're taking his drink and he go he wakes up and he goes are we in tucson and i go we not even close we haven't left. And I go, how good do you think Delta Ice is?

You still have full ice in your drink. That's brilliant, Shaylee. So then he goes to sleep. He goes back to sleep. And then at some point we were on our ascent. And I look at him. He wakes up. And he starts fucking. I gotta have you

such a good idea Jesus there we go, perfect he wakes up and he starts to dial his phone that was right in my face

oh my god I thought you were just... No. When Shelly said, oh, my God, that was... I think I scared her. Wait, but you have to go back to where you were. That's dumb. But where were you at?

Because he... We were climbing to our cruising altitude about 27,000 feet. And he pulls out his phone and starts calling you. In fact, it said – Oh, that would strike that lady. It said the flight attendant who noticed that you were making a phone call and she bent down and goes, hey, you can't make a phone call when we're flying. And he's like, I'm not.

This is audible. And it clearly says bingo and it started with one, two, I'm not. This is audible. And it clearly says bingo and it's starting to go one, two, three, four. It's just not connecting. And then he quickly is like trying to make it not obvious

that he's searching up audible. Charlotte's web. So he brings up audible and he's like, yeah, I'm just trying to... She's like, oh, okay. I don't think she bought it.

No. But clearly he wasn't calling anymore. And then he gets mad at me for calling him out. It's like, no, that, that is not, that's not part of the code. Right. If you're, if you're doing something you should not be doing. Right. I'm not going to fucking back you up.

Right. Especially when she's, you know, she's a real nice lady. I don't know how I was able to figure I've never been able to figure out how to get like online

or anything on fucking flights and I don't know how I was possibly calling someone successfully I do remember that it was it said bingo

and it had the thing in the middle where you push to hang up that's weird was it maybe it was whatsapp but I still don't know. Oh, you might have.

Well, it didn't go through. I never got, you know, oh, but wow. Maybe it was just going to be a fucking deadline, but it still looked like I was calling. You were definitely calling someone, so she figured it out. And then there was just the constant, you know, making comments. Yeah. While waking up and

doing something weird. I do remember we had some kind of meat and Swiss cheese sandwich. It's a croissant. A ham and cheese croissant. Was it good? He doesn't remember. I just, I

didn't want to eat it. I don't know. I might have still been high from the night before. I think you were. He was in a good mood. That was the thing. He was happy. He was happy, but it wasn't like angry Doug in the morning. No, I knew.

Okay, okay. I get back to the hotel. Where you're living. Yeah. I got in the pool for the first time I think I spent maybe I wanted to be out there for an hour to get some sun but

by the look of me I didn't so yeah I must have knocked out fairly early I walked over to Denny's I was still in high spirits seeing all my Denny's. I was still in high spirits seeing all my Denny's crew over there.

And next thing I know, fucking getting sales calls at fucking 8.30 in the morning. Spam risk. I figured you just went right to sleep. I didn't think you stayed up when you got back to the hotel.

I napped, woke up, then I was just on the internet doing nothing. But seemingly for hours. But I think the last time I talked to you was 8 o'clock at night. I think that's about right. In the 8 o'clock hour. You know, we need to take a break because it's looking like I've got to change a battery. Okay. And maybe Meatwig will want to mic up Meatwig.

Yeah, maybe Meatwig will be putting on my ad copy. I can't fart it right in your face. That was pretty bad. When you edit this, you should put in a sound effect. Or just replay it now in slow motion or at the end. Slow motion and maybe you can put in a green fog. That's a lot of work for

tomorrow. Wait, you fucking figured out how to do Snapchat? I've just fucking got my hot dog nose catching rings on his Snapchat, yet it takes him fucking three days. They do all that. I don't do anything. I just push a button.

So why don't we just do our podcast on Snapchat? That's a pretty good idea. Yeah, the Hot Dog Nose. Yeah, the Hot Dog Nose Snapchat. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see why

everything has to be a fucking lot of work. That is true. You definitely don't understand. That would be a fact. All right. Please hold. understand that would be a fact please hold hey it's Lucy get your nicotine fix without having to step away from the

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Looked it up and down For rectal use That's what I say, do your own research That's with most products by the way If it's not printed It's not a rule If it's not posted You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast.

Before we go back, right now we've got This Is Not Fame, signed edition, available at DougStanhope.com store. All right. And Brian is fastidiously working. He needs to work with Chaley on this, he says, to get a proper hardcover or a physical copy of No Encore for the Donkey. Because that fucking thing that we suspended, I wish this fucking copy was never sold. You want to do buybacks? I don't know if we went to fucking Bangkok

to fucking get those, but they're cheap. Like, the paper itself is so fucking cheap. You could probably read it. It was probably safe to read if you were doing one page at a time. Because you could see the road through the paper.

It's fucking thinner than rolling paper. It's just so cheap. And tiny print on top of all that. So we're remedying that. King of Thailand, I got a trailer for to look at. Oh, fuck, we got to pull that trailer from the movie.

Yeah, we can do that tomorrow. I got so much done today with the contractors that... I brought Bingo through. We got local contractors. We fired those douche hounds, fucking shyster, fucking people in Tucson and got someone local

and progress is being made on the house. So I brought the bingo through. It was amazing. That's the first time she's been in. Things are happening. Where I showed her all the things that you told me. Yeah.

So it's probably like Chinese telephone. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait. So this is where the bus station's going to be? A whole wall of toasters? The swimming pool with the slide? Yeah. I love it.

Yeah, and then this, it's actually way early. But there's actually one of those long forecasts for this weekend of rain. So that's why they're like, hey, we've got to get those solar panels off, man, because we've got to do this, because it could just happen. So

it might not rain this Saturday, but the roof will be done by Saturday. Oh, shoot. The exterior. So it could rain, and that'd be fine. Saturday. Oh, shoot. The exterior. So it could rain and that'd be fine. All right. That's great. Yeah, I was getting ahead of myself at some point because I don't know exactly.

I go, okay, but if we leave that open, what used to be a bedroom, hey, maybe we can set up a podcasting situation like a set because I've been thinking of some design issues or shit that I go, I love this stuff, but I don't have any. The old TVs, I go, if I start with the old vintage portable television

sets and work backwards, I could create a cool ass set. But I don't know. It's like building a house around the color of a switch plate on the wall. Which is kind of what we did. Yeah, that's kind of... Yeah, I think once that wall is removed and you're able to have a better idea of the space,

you know, and fix all that other stuff. Yeah. It'll be great. Yeah. But you'll be out at that hotel until July, it looks like. But, I mean, you're there anyway. Yeah. I got pool floats.

I got skivvies. Bathing trunks. Free laundry. You had a problem before with a lot of kids hanging out at the pool who weren't staying there. That was that one day. I guess they... It was caddy day at a bushwood well that was one of the hotels we were at it was a great hotel too except in the lobby i went down to this is a

perfect gorgeous lobby to work you know as soon as breakfast oh yeah breakfast yeah there's tables everywhere calgary yeah, but some will, on the road, okay. And you know, you couldn't complain because, you know,

some fucking single parent had their fucking kids there. Just two kids the entire day just sitting there with their earphones and their gamer phones and their fucking homework

and they're just sitting in a lobby, like right where I wanted to post stuff, like okay, if I go back there Which, if they were somewhere else we wouldn't have this discussion right now They were where he wanted to be so that makes it fucking egregious. There's no way this should be

happening. But I mean there's probably someone who works there, had their kids there so they could do a shift or pull a double or whatever yeah no obviously it's someone who worked there because the kids were there for fucking solid six hours that i was back and forth going those kids have to be gone by now no yeah it's uh because this is like all these highway workers, these long-time construction people stay there.

So it's not like the fucking Doubletree where it's, you know, kids are, you can count on kids there. This, if it's, you know, if it's kids, it's that same situation where fucking some fucking Esmeralda brought her fucking whole family down. And that's what it was like. I called the front desk. I go, what's going on with the pool?

There were literally like 60 fucking people, all one family of fucking mostly kids, cannonballs, wearing their fucking laundry. Yeah, just so they could, yeah. That's a good idea. That's smart. We almost did that once. We talked about doing that all our lives together. But in the UK, we were on that seven-week tour, and laundry over there, like, no one can figure out how to do it.

Washers, you can't figure out the buttons. Dryers never work, so we were going to just put all of our clothes on when there was an indoor pool in one of the hotels and just jump in the pool and then sit in the sauna for two hours till they dried steam them uh so so i called the front desk i go listen i've been here for like five. I've not seen one single child in this hotel ever. And you're telling me that 60 of them just showed up and they're all taking over the pool? Stop it.

And then she called me back an hour later. She goes, they do have rooms. They check in. They probably have two rooms. Yeah. They check in somewhere late at night, but I told them they'd have to wrap it up so other people can use the pool

because it's literally not a fucking open seat so I haven't seen that problem but we've been on the road I'll start I got an Andy Andrist orange reflective and now maybe I should get maybe I should get Maybe I should get

The brand name Of this hotel Uniform shirt Or security shirt Just so I can start policing If there's issues like this So I don't have to trouble the front desk The perimeter

The outside of the parking Hey hey hey Cigarette butts in the can over there. Oh, yeah. I was going to get, this is a, this spot reserved for IHG titanium members. Oh, wow. Or just get a level that they don't really have. Yeah.

Yeah. So everyone goes, I don't have that. Pudding level? Yeah. Actually, the people that make those bag tags, you have a choice. But, yeah, they had all the, they have unobtainium. Oh, yeah. Unobtainium level.

Yeah, I think that's from Marvel Comics or unobtainium. I don't know. I think that's, yeah, it's one of the comic book guys. Well, it's funny for a medallion level and Delta Unobtainium. But yeah, I just get that parking sign, so my spot's always open. I don't think anyone that works there, which I think there's only three. It doesn't seem to be a big... Their entire staff is three people.

There's a pile of... I don't know what it is. I haven't inspected it, but it's been there since I checked in because I take the stairs. I'm on the third floor, so I take the stairs every time. You got me on the road, too. Okay, we're taking the stairs. If it's just a short amount, just stop

the elevator and take the stairs. I don't force him. My mom does the same thing. You know that. I don't know what stories he's telling you. I just want you to know. You don't force him. My mom does the same thing. You know that. I don't know what stories he's telling you. I just want you to know. I don't go, hey, pretend that escalator doesn't exist. You're using the stairs, mister.

This pile looks like the bottom of a cigarette pack that has all the loose tobacco. I don't know what it is. It's beige and it looks like crumbs. It could be bread crumbs. I don't know what it is. It's beige and it looks like crumbs. It could be breadcrumbs. I don't know.

And it's been there since I fucking checked in. Where is it? On the back stairwell. Oh, yeah. Fifth stair down from the third floor. And, yeah, every day I look at it. And it gets a little bit more sparse. I guess it probably gets ground in a little bit more.

The fact that in a month and a half, no one's vacuumed that fucking back stairwell. The back stairwell. Yeah, they're under some renovation. Okay. But it's comforting to know that it's there every time I go by. There's crates of building materials, like, taking up parking spots. Oh. Oh, fuck, Safeway Safeway they tore out all the fucking tiles

Tiles were done and they're painted on the exterior Yeah This would be growing up man It was dead empty And there's a lady started talking to me Like very close talking And she goes, Doug How have you been?

I mean like, how are you been? I mean, like, how are you doing? And I thought maybe, oh, like, because of the fire, they, yeah,

yeah. It was Floyd's ex-wife who never liked me anyway. Why would she talk to you? I know. And to, like, be cared,

like, is there fucking rumors around it? Maybe that doctor's been saying, hey, uh, he posted your results online? Yeah, but listen, you know Stan Hope.

I'm supposed to tell him his results on his podcast. He never let me know. Oh, yeah. I'm not good with bad news. Yeah. Oh, have you heard from that guy? No, I haven't,

but I told him I'd talk to him after Austin. Oh, okay. But, No, I haven't, but I told him I'd talk to him after Austin. Oh, okay. But I think it's Floyd's wife, but I'm not sure. Ex-wife? And I said, you know, just waiting. The construction's getting going. Oh, what happened?

I'll say it wasn't. Oh, fuck. I thought it was, yeah. He took a shot. Yeah. I assumed you were being comforting because you think I had a... No, and it was just a very halting,

like I'm trying to come up with something to say. Yeah. Because she had a look of, you have no idea who I am, so I'm going to torture you. I think I do know who you are. But it's good to see you. That's funny.

Oh, yeah, please hold. Do you want another drink? No, I was going to take a fucking edible. That was fun. Edibles are legal up there? Like, you can go from the East Coast to the West Coast. You can go on the plane. You don't have to worry about, are we going to touch down in Oklahoma?

Because if there's a problem, I have weed on me. It's none of that. Yeah. And half the dispensaries I found out, or half the supply is from illegal dispensaries that they really don't enforce. Right. So you have two different ways where you can get. that they really don't enforce. Right.

So you have two different ways where you can get. Well, I didn't know that, but I can always tell when he's high because when he's high, high and drunk, he calls. Well, he calls me all the time. I love that. But when he has a lisp, a very strong lisp, it's high and drunk. And I knew he had access to them both. But he's got a strong lisp. And I'm like, honey. Have you noticed that?

Yes, he does. I think that's all in her head. No, you have a lisp. I'll pay more attention. I'm usually annoyed at that point. I'm trying to do numbers or figure something out. Pay attention. He gets a lisp. And it's fucking hilarious.

Everyone gets some kind of like a lazy mouth kind of situation. Like this. He's real lazy. And you've got to make sure that's on my laptop before you leave.

The day drinking show. Oh. All right. Well, okay. You started doing edibles on stage in the UK. Yeah.

How was the day drinking show different than what you, the bad experience, well, your experience in the UK of doing edibles and not giving a shit? The amount of drinking. Okay. Yeah, because I don't know how it ended. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how it ended yeah yeah but no I was in the moment that day drinking show

in Vancouver this bit has not worked as many ways as I've tried it and now this bit has just become I don't know if it's that good which one was it? a lot of them

he had so many tags that, like, or different, like, actual parts that he added while high during that. Oh, that's so cool. I would like to hear that. The day drinking show that I'm like, you need to listen to this just because. That is cool. Yeah, I knew in the moment I have to listen to it. What about Suicide Bit? Is that, did anything happen with that one?

Suicide Bit. Oh, that's the one she's in. That's the one I want to care about. No, but I did come up with a couple more beats where that needed to be ironed out. I woke up this morning. I woke up from fucking spam risk two in a row where I was in a very lucid dream

where I was on stage and I was talking about suicide and knowing that a guy in the audience had either tried to kill himself and I was about to say to him hey, sorry I keep talking about suicide but it's going to come up several more times and my phone rang

and I'm like fuck it's not spam risk turn it off I'm going to try to get back to this dream right where it was because I was about to tell a guy I know what table he's at and I lay down close my eyes and eye mask phone rings again and I'm like fuck I was like

maybe I could get right back into that dream you could turn the phone off I had to one night because it kept going it was that Michael Biehn night Maybe I could get right back into that train. You could turn the phone off. I had to one night because it kept going. It was that Michael Biehn night. What? When he blew up your phone. And Michael Biehn's ring on Doug's thing is a door knock.

Oh. All of them are. Okay, well, this thing. It was gone. He said, hey, I'm at 5.30 in the morning, 5.15. Hey, I'm trying to wake you up. And then A, A, A, a a a a so every time no what was it about he woke me up yeah i know he wakes up at that hour and he wants to talk to someone he's like he's like an old man atel

at two in the morning because he's just getting home from the bars Michael Biehn calls at 5 4.35 in the morning So yeah Austin Do we have announcements It feels like we should be telling people shit Austin sold out You'll be on Kill Tony on Monday

We should say we'll be at Freedom Fest Google it It's in July I don't know the dates Kill Tony on Monday? We should say we'll be at Freedom Fest. Google it. It's in July. I don't know the dates, but it's in Memphis. And we're putting the band back together, man. Chaley and Tracy and Bingo and Stan Hope and Chad and Jenny.

We're all flying out for three days. There's a comedy show at Freedom Fest. So I'm doing one night there. A night... Like a regular nighttime gig. Yeah. It's part of their thing. Yeah.

I'll do the late show where you can say anything you want. Like at Freedom Fest. You think... You censored the first one? Not so Freedom Fest? I don't know. But anyway, so... Yeah.

I headlined the late show Friday. And other than that, we're fucking off. Chad said he's like focusing on being in a fun mood. Because it's obviously a libertarian bent to it.

But yeah, some of the folks, when we went to that libertarian convention, the national, yeah, like, oh, man, some people are fucking way too serious about it. It's like we went to that atheist thing with the amazing Randier. And that was a fun time time It was a great comedy show And

But You don't want to sit around and talk about Fucking Atheism And some people do Some people That's their whole identity So that's all they talk about But I mean the Freedom Fest thing was A lark that ended up turning into a gig some people, you know. That's their whole identity. Yeah. So that's all they talk about. Right.

But, I mean, the Freedom Fest thing was a lark that ended up turning into a gig. It's, I got the Reason magazine, sent an email out. Ooh, look at this guy, Reason magazine. Smart fuck magazine. Yeah. It's the only fucking news source that I can tolerate

as reason. Biden's full of shit right next to what Trump is full of shit. This is bullshit. But I get the thing and then I go, I'm not going to fucking... I've never gone to one other than that when I was running. I had been

running for president that year. That's the only reason I showed up in Denver. Probably is the only reason we booked that gig at that time was to do that. Assuming we'd be there. Like route it because it was there, yeah. Freedom Fest. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I... We did something in Manchester,

but I think it was just some dude's podcast that was libertarian. So I've always... But I looked up just for fun because I get the email in the morning when I like to do my morning travels, my fantasy travel. I'm like, what is in Memphis? I'll find the closest hotel to the place.

I'm sure I've already told this story. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So yeah, we're staying at a giant pyramid, fucking Bass Pro Shop-themed, fucking just atrocity of garish, vulgar... You can shoot guns? I don't know...

I don't know that you can shoot guns. I think there is an archery range. There's an underwater... It's underwater themed. Welding? No, welding. Underwater welding? Bowling alley.

Underwater bowling school? Yeah. But I think if there's not shooting there, I want to go shooting. There is a shooting range. Is there? Yeah. I'll look again.

I know there's a spa. We can do a spa day. Yeah. Chad to get his a spa day. Yeah. Chad to get his toenails done. Yeah. Why not? Well, he likes that. Yeah.

Yeah, we could do it. There's some fucking pranks to be had. There's definitely some pranks to be had. And then there's, like, that's a three-day festival thing. We talked about it before. I put links up on the video feed. I know theirs goes through the weekend and we duck out on Saturday.

So I think we're there a night early and then small shit kicks in. We're not going to be fucking in. They do have a media row so we can podcast and I'm sure we can find some characters.

Okay, yeah. That would be cool. Yeah, we could definitely do some podcast. In fact, we could sandbag a bunch to put out bonus ones because there'll be definite characters there. Yeah, yeah.

We could do... We could do... I don't want to do a writer's meeting right now but they are giving us a space to podcast from while we're there anyone with a podcast so it'll just be media row

we could just make up what our show is depending on the person yeah I'm definitely in for the pranks. All right. All right. Bingo, you get fucking rocked pretty quick.

I know. I can tell. Yeah. It's half a drink and you're... Well, you don't know what you had before that. No, I had none before, but this is the second one. Yeah. Yeah.

You don't get a lisp. You get a... What is my... What is the opposite of a lisp? You get like a throaty Demi Moore kind of voice. Oh, maybe that, but my eyes go... Oh, yeah. No, that's later. When you go cross-eyed.

That's good. Because I am going to watch... Have you seen... I saw just a part of the episode one. Number four. Dynamite something Chasing Lightning I'm going to watch it let's do it

we have to wrap up Bingo I have to say okay about Bingo MMA guy I think we did talk about this on a podcast what's it on Netflix? no I think it's HBO or Showtime it's a. Or Showtime.

Yeah, it's a MMA fighter, like recent, that was an up-and-coming fucking, taking the fucking thing by storm, and then pulled off the biggest fucking bank heist. Oh, we saw that as a preview, but we didn't watch it. I watched it. It was one of the things. It's good? Yeah, it's a four-parter.

I saw the part one. I caught it. I missed the first 40 minutes. You missed it. Why would you drop in on 40 minutes? It was like an hour and 15. So I watched and then recorded the rest.

But I'm like, this is fucking crazy. So it holds up? It holds up? I don't know. No, I mean... Yeah, she's watched it. Okay, so good. Yeah.

I had to catch up on Succession and then two Formula One races. So that's what I did this morning. I got gotta figure out I was listening to fucking this book I'm into the fucking 48 laws of power that Chad Shank has read

oh yeah yeah you think it's gonna be like sales related but it's really like it makes you wanna be a fucking grifter it's just is that why they put it out or is, it's just, it's, it's Is that what it's, is that why they put it out, or is this self-help? No, no, it's, it's

and it's, it's, it's really entertaining. They go, okay, here, you know, don't, uh, don't ever be, like, funnier than the boss. And then they go through, like, something in history where someone tried to do this, and Napoleon had him fucking killed, and they have, like, really cool stories.

Specifically. But it's, yeah, it's, I mean, it's how to fucking lie, cheat and steal your way to the top. But it just, it reinforces stuff you already know, but it makes you want to be a carny. Yeah. It makes you want to go out there and be fucking. Point being, it's 23 and a half hours, I think. Okay. What do I do?

So I just throw it on here to Tucson. Yeah, yeah. And it started skipping today. I'm like, this is an Audible book. Were you playing it on a record player? That's my point. I'm like, I have no idea how to fix this or correct this. Well, sometimes that can just from the download.

So you can re-download it. Yeah. Alright. Okay, Bingo. What? She's checked out. I gotta record her. Alright. Meatwig, here, do you want to fart? I'm coming in with my...

Cat fart. The title should just be it doesn't matter what we talked about on this podcast. Because the cat farted at J. Lee Sparks. I know. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.