The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Ep.#93: Black Pussy Band

Episode Date: August 27, 2015

Just passin' through, Black Pussy stops by the Fun House before a gig.Black Pussy Tour DatesRecorded Aug. 25, 2015  at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Black Pussy (@BlackPussyBand) - Dustin Hill, Ryan Mcintire, Dean Carroll, Aaron Poplin, Chief O'Dell - and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Links -Songs - “Lion's Breath” by Black Pussy and closing song, “(Don't Fear) The Reaper” Written by Buck Dharma and performed by Black Pussy. Available on iTunes and BandCamp.comDoug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

It's the Doug Stanhope Show. It's Doug Stanhope, live from the bunker in Bisbee, Arizona, on a beautiful sunny day. And today we have a band from Portland coming in. They're not going to play, I don't think. But this is one of those things where people email you, Hey, I'd like to get my band on your podcast. And I go, yeah, sure, if you're ever in Bisbee, Arizona, knowing they're never going to be. But, yeah, somehow on their tour, they squozed in the JRs in Sierra Vista tonight.

Sierra Vista is the next town down 25 miles, and it's a military town. town down 25 miles and it's a military town so i don't know if they they just there's no reason not to do tucson or phoenix and do sierra vista instead because they're on a massive tour they're doing there i looked at their schedule they're coming they're playing out and back so they'll be swinging back through here again so they might end up end up hitting Phoenix or something on the return. Maybe. It just doesn't make any sense. Well, it's a routing thing. The same thing we do on the tour is sometimes you don't want to play there, but it's halfway to the next place. Evidently, they were getting a lot of shit about their name, Black Pussy.

And there was a petition drive and some venues protested and actually got a gig cancelled for death threats. Death threats? Yeah. How many fucking punk bands have Jesus Sucks My Dick kind of names? The Sex Pistols in the 70s when they were touring, there was a rumor

that Sid Vicious took a shit on stage and then smeared it on the drums. That would be something to protest if you were going to be in the South. But just a band called Black Pussy? Yeah, I don't get it. But yeah, when I saw it, it was on Huffington Post in March or something.

There's a couple. I think the Daily News had an op-ed piece about it. But yeah, it made some news. Got them a little traction. That's great. Yeah, they're a rock and roll band, like 70s rock, psychedelic rock. It's fucking straight up 70s rock. And they dress all 70s, which I enjoyed.

So yeah, they're stopping by before their gig. Tell, tell them to beat it on the thrift stores. Those are ours in Sierra Vista. Yeah, fuck off. Fucking keep moving along, guys. They do a lot. They do some 70s shit I would not try to get away with, like the very short cut dungaree cutoff shorts where you can almost see a ball hanging out

when the guy's sitting on a fucking pool float. This is like Greg Allman era. It is. It's very much almost famous. So, yeah, and I'll talk to him about music with my depth of musical knowledge. I'll say, music, why? You've never met these guys, right?

No, I haven't. No, so did you run across them somewhere on tour why when i saw that thing i retweeted it like hey check this out these guys are getting some shit and uh so they said hey well we want to do your podcast fine you want to fucking trek all the way they're coming from san diego last night about eight hour drive and then i got nine and a half hour drive to get to texas tomorrow that's fucking brutal that's the shit we did when we triple gigs that's triple would blush at their fucking road schedule so uh so yeah it gave me a reason uh uh get away from the book i got a fucking week left before my deadline.

It's still not done. I don't think it'll ever be done. I'm just kidding. September 2nd, I just send him my shit and go, that's a book. Make that a book. Make that a book. You professionals. But yeah, like last night, I had to step away from it for a bit, and then I came back to it, and somehow in the midst of writing my book, I got on a YouTube jag of – it started with centipede versus scorpion.

And these are all like Japanese or some kind of asian but how did you find the first one was i don't i have no idea you know someone send you a link i don't someone probably sent me a link to something where that's in the scroll bar or something yeah i know i think it was a oh it was a fucking news story uh probably from newser like about a lion lion fought off by a thing or something. It was some news. All I know is it was a news story and when I clicked on it,

it was one of those clickbaits and it says what the thing you're about to see is with a picture and then it says just a few more pages till you get to your video and I'm like,

fuck you. I'll just Google search it and it'll find it straight on YouTube before going through all your nonsense. And then it got me into, okay, bear versus this and shark versus. But when it got to the bugs, because it was Michael Vick cockfighting straight up. This wasn't caught in nature. This is some Asian dude with a terrarium, and he finds these exotic, venomous insects, and he just throws them together in this small terrarium and films it. But what they do, they set it up like boxing, where first they show the scorpion with his statistics,

all in Japanese characters. Straight up video games from the 80s. Yeah. The Street Fighter. Right. That's what it reminded me of. Yeah. And then you don't know what the statistics are, but you can tell the way the characters are written out.

They're given stats. Some of those got a lot of stars. I don't know if those are kills. Ferocity or strength. I can't imagine it's the same centipede. Centipede never lost. I never saw it because it goes on. So you get centipede versus scorpion, and you might have a few of those.

Then you have tarantula versus scorpion. Then you have giant Asian hornet versus centipede. Insane beetle chops off scorpion's tail. The one was a water bug, which we get in the fucking pool. That's the ones that creep me out. Yeah, you hate those. But there's two kinds. There's one that bites and one that doesn't bite.

And I'm not an entomologist. To you, they're all the same. Yeah, I get every one of those fucking things out. If there's one in a pool, I'm creeped out. And that water bug beat something that it shouldn't have beat. Wow. I don't know. Some kind of scary thing.

But I did two hours of watching fucking bug fights. And it's kind of awful. Like, they're insects. I'd smash any one of them alone if I saw it inside the bunker while I'm trying to write. There's a scorpion sitting dead up there. Just like Apocalypse Now, like Colonel Kurtz is a fucking dead scorpion smushed to the wall as an example. I'm not peeling it off, but it still felt kind of wrong to put them together. Well, it was weird.

They had the acrylic terrarium with the high sides, but kind of confined, so one couldn't go in a corner and go, I'm going to be over here. They were close enough that they were in space. But then the bottom, it wasn't like dirt or some kind of earth. It was like silk. So they went to some extent there with the production and all the graphics up front. Nice.

Centipede never lost there was a one that was just a photo it wasn't a video of a giant centipede and they they they were measuring it a snake had swallowed one of these massive the centipedes are the worst we get them here and the dogs will bark like they're like it's a javelina they'll be out in the yard will bark like it's a javelina. They'll be out in the yard. They're like 10, 11 inches long and fucking creepy as shit. Which end on the centipede? I've never seen one out here. Which end on the centipede is the don't get near end?

Well, they have pinchers in the front, but I think the stinging end is in the back. I'm not sure because you don't get... That's one that you'd shoot with a shotgun rather than risk trying... You don't try to stomp on that. Blow it away? Yeah, that tail. It's whipping all over the place.

But a snake had eaten one of these whole. And it was like 14 inches long. And it ate its way out the side of the snake. Oh, no. It says, like, snake's dinner comes back to bite him it's fucking crazy so yeah two hours of that like like uh clockwork orange and uh yeah no no no writing got done last night although i did tweet a lot of shit. Yeah, last night was productive. A couple of cocktails, some insect UFC.

Yeah. It was nice. Yeah, a Xanax and an early bedtime. Get ready to shine for the Black Pussy podcast. Yeah. I thought it would be funny to set it up like this, like you and I do a segment up front to cue the listeners in, and then when they get here,

we act like this is some white supremacist podcast. But I've realized they know me well enough to know that would be bullshit. But we should do that sometime. Someone that doesn't know you. Yeah, just have them sit down and then start it out. Hey, white power people, how's everyone doing out there in the white world? Just see if they play along. Where are my white pads?

Yeah. Hey, the new studio, that's why we're still broadcasting from the bunker, should be done in two weeks. It's looking good. And as I said, i am selling all the football helmets that line the walls have all 32 teams i had all the helmets so beautifully displayed on the wall of that uh fun house there and they had to go for the redecoration no room for the football helmets but to help uh uh help sway the costs, help pay for the fucking thing.

Defer some of the expenses. Yeah, one of those big words. Yeah, we're going to sell those on eBay individually. No, these just weren't show pieces. We would take down the team's plane on the big screen, and there was a shelf above the big screen just for the marquee game. Yeah. So here's what we're doing. We're selling those on eBay, and we're going to really –

Oh, all right. I thought you were fixing my tie clip. Is really this the time? This is horrible. So what I'm going to do, we're going to sell those on eBay, and where the football helmets were, we're going to just put a plaque with the name

of each person that won each helmet and a plaque for the people who helped build the new studio. Oh, like when they sell a brick for the new community center. Yep, with your team name underneath.

And whoever bids the most for a helmet, whatever helmet goes for the most money, that will be my team for this year. I will be rooting for that team. So your name will live in perpetuity on the wall of the new studio, on a plaque, all 32 of you. And yeah, I'll root for your stupid team. So keep that in mind, Arizona Cardinals fans, if there are any.

Please, don't let me get stuck as a fucking Steelers fan or Cowboys fan. Get ready to wear the black and silver. You know what? I can root for the Raiders. I want to root for the Raiders, but fucking gangbangers took them over. Yeah, that's Becker's team still. I know. I fucking for the Raiders. I want to root for the Raiders, but fucking gangbangers took them over. Yeah, that's Becker's team still. I know. I fucking love the Raiders. Kenny Stabler, he just died.

That was my team when I was a kid. Freddy Bolitnikoff, Dave Casper, Gene Upshaw, Art Schell. That's the big one. I'm holding up the Jaguars. Yeah, the Jaguars, the least popular team in the NFL, by the way, according to merch sales and another, I Google it. It's always the Jaguars are the least popular. And I have a Jaguars helmet.

There's an actual player's playing helmet. What do you call that? Yeah. Like a game-worn jersey, but this is one that. It's from their first year in pre-season they had a jaguar symbol on it that they got sued for their helmet because it was obviously the jaguar from the front of a fucking jaguar as their logo so they had to ditch it and get their other helmets before the regular season started. So this is an actual, not a replica helmet like the rest. No, this one has the actual pads.

Yeah, you can play. If you can play football by yourself, you could wear this helmet. And yeah, so that one's actually probably worth something. The rest, replicas. I'll sign them, but not on the outside. I'll sign inside because that fucks up a helmet. The beauty of the helmet is destroyed. When I was buying these things, I was getting them on eBay.

You get Joe Theismann signed. Well, you just kind of ruined it. You scrawled right across the beautiful Redskin, you fucking asshole. Which one was your favorite? When I was a kid, Redskins was my first favorite helmet. And I still think redskins uniforms are definitely in the top three still fucking great all-around uniforms great colors and that would be the saddest thing with the whole redskin thing i i i understand i think

we talked about it they should just call them the skins yeah because that's what you call them anyway you take the red out everyone calls them the skins so fucking do that everyone wins but then what do you do with the logo just make it make it a little more silhouetty it could be anyone yeah you could i mean look there are smarter people in graphics that know exactly what to do they'll have 10 things or 100 things you just need to give them the okay to do it. You can't claw your way to hold on to the Redskins forever. So this will go up

probably, I don't know, today's the 25th when we're taping this. We're going to try to get this out quick so we can get their black pussy dates promoted. And then we have some others in the can that we've already taped. Helmets should probably go on sale the week before football starts

ending right around when football ends. I'll be tweeting it. Don't you worry. I'll Facebook it, tweet it, put it on the website. I haven't updated that website for shit. All your podcasts are up to date. Oh, really? So if people have a problem like, like before, with downloading from iTunes or playing through iTunes,

you can always go to stanhope.libsyn.com, and we have up to today. I just posted one. Oh, okay. All this stuff. Yeah, the website is still fucked. We're still working on that web guy thing. I noticed not in my Iceland and Amsterdam dates aren't up yet. No, Hennigan didn't have the actual confirmed dates.

All right. But yeah, that's going to be it. I believe that will be it. We'll end in Iceland after Dublin. Got a couple Amsterdam dates getting plugged in, but other than that, I don't think we're adding shit. I'm coming home. I'm going to eat a big Thanksgiving dinner

and then decide what to do with the rest of my life. And right now we're just waiting on Black Pussy. Aren't we all? Stoned and making their way slowly towards the bunker. We'll be back after I pour another mimosa.

Hi, this is Doug Stanhope, and I'm here to talk to you about Trilogy Active Lifestyle Communities. You know, Greg, last night when I was locked in over two hours of a YouTube jag watching insects pit against one another in death matches. I couldn't help but think of Trilogy Active Lifestyle Communities and discovering the Trilogy difference. Trilogy is architecture as dynamic as the people who live there. How do I know this? Because their pop-up ads came up on at least one out of two insect death matches that I watched

on YouTube. Trilogy sounds like the place for me. It's built for bringing people together, yet designed to stand apart. Not so much as a giant hornet stood apart from a camel spider in a death match in a glass terrarium that they were advertising on.

Trilogy, that's right. Architecture as dynamic as the people who live there. Architecture as unique as the horned shinklingy stag beetle as he chewed the head off of a praying mantis. That's where they advertise. So go out and check out Trilogy Active Lifestyle Communities. If you're a person who is as active as I am and you just sit around in a darkened shed

and watch insect torture and murder, give us a call at Trilogy 1-800-685-6494 and say, Hey, I heard about you while I was watching a Nigerian giant water bug pilfer the guts out of a giant hornet, and I think this is the place for me. Trilogy. Remember, because we know our demographic. All right, still waiting for Black Pussy. The first email said, hey, yeah, we'll be there in the morning,

like they were going to drive through the night. I figured I'd just set them up at Van Dyke to crash while I worked. And they said, yeah, we're in Tucson, it's like 10 30 in the morning, so, yeah, they'll be here by, you know, 12 31, and they go, then they, I guess the tour manager, yeah, it looks like it's gonna be more like three fucking stoners, uh, so now it's 3 30, and, uh, we've been drinking since we've been ready for him at one killed a bottle of champagne and uh still no black pussy i wonder if they're like portland douche they might they seem portland cool but they might be new portland douche

like is this place is smoky as fuck, and I imagine them coming in and going, I can't be around that. I have to sing tonight. I can't imagine that would happen. You don't think there's someone who smokes in this band? Yeah, no, they all smoke pot, so. Well.

I warned them. Try that drink. No. Margarita, lovely. Scratch margarita. Easiest thing in the thing in the world scratch meaning you squeeze your own it's just lime juice quattro fresh lime uh one whole lime and get get one of the the squeezer that we used last night i got twice as much juice using the hand squeezer today that i brought over but uh one lime a uh two shots two two measures of Patron, and a little bit of simple syrup or Cointreau.

All right. Perfect. It's lovely. I don't even know if we should have done that as a fake commercial rather than just implore people to call fucking Trilogy. That always amazes me, the lack of, you know, be beheading video and then it's sponsored you have to sit through a 14 second sponsor for fucking heartburn medication like don't you when you're just are you randomly advertising on youtube you have no idea you're being you're sponsoring a fucking beheading or much less insect fucking fights to the death there's got it there's some way

that they're like inserting those ads i'll throw out that number one more time well why not 1-800-685-6494 that's 1-800-685-6494 and And call up Trilogy Homes, Active Lifestyle Communities, and just say, yeah, I was watching Centipede Deathmatch versus a Scorpion, and you came up repeatedly in pop-ups on my video,

and I think this is the community for me. They say they have a clubhouse. There are thousands of reasons from our stunning clubs. Hey, do you show Beatle death matches in that clubhouse? Every Wednesday at 6. I want to meet people just like me. When you say active lifestyles, I i mean i might be way off here but i'm reading into that like swinger type stuff oh no i would read into it elderly like you know like like not a home

yeah they're showing uh you have to do your own vacuuming they're showing a lot of post milfs and silver-haired foxes so yeah it looks but no looks... But, no, they also show kids, so it doesn't... Still, you would think you'd fucking know. Yeah, we're going to advertise all over YouTube. Not kids. Grandkids. No, all right. This guy on a beach.

These places are all over. It was... The ads I were getting was for Scottsdale. Yeah. But they have them all over the West and the South, Southeast. Either way, just fucking know your market. Yeah. But they have them all over the West and the South, Southeast. Either way, just fucking know your market. Jesus. Sorry, Jen just came in. I was watching all these fucking

YouTube videos of beetles and scorpions and camel spiders and tarantulas pit against one another in terrariums to the death. The Peacock Mantis. And this fucking Trilogy Holmes. Yeah, you can talk into a mic.

Yeah. Check it. Because eventually Black Pussy will be talking into that microphone, so we might as well do a mic check. That's fine. I was at the house just catching geckos right now trying to get them back. Hey, the boys, Black Pussy is here.

There we go. Alright. Hey, let's take a. Pussy is here. All right. Hey, let's take a break and get these guys set up with some cocktails and we'll be back. Hey, quick, a couple of quick shout outs. Jeff Williams sent me a giant fucking stack of books, including Black Mass and an extra copy of that ministry book and a bunch of other shit that I'm into. And thank you for that. There's a long letter i can't get to and marty shalders my uh probably my most frequent tweeter sent a a bunch of shit uh there's a shirt that my mom made oh yeah that hawaiian shirt the one for floyd yeah and the

some for floyd and there's uh 10 bucks in there for uh chad shank the the Chad Shank Fund, to keep him coming on the podcast. I think that's a total of $60 we've got. We need a fucking sponsor. Are you guys going to, I don't know, is there still a donate button? Yeah, there's a donate button on the podcast page. I give that straight to fucking Chad Shank to get him out here, off the couch. All right, we've got to hook up the band with some drinks, and we'll be right back. Bye.

Oh, yeah, those were at the studio, but there's not going to be room for the redo. Oh, I thought you meant Helmet. That was the band that was playing. Oh, I thought you were pointing at the football helmets. That's what I thought you were talking about. I thought you were talking about the helmets. But let's ask him. What were you talking about?

I was talking about the band Helmet. It was just on. I don't know shit about music. But you play it. Black Pussy is finally here on a fucking death tour. You just had to drive like eight hours from San Diego. I think it was 13. Yeah.

It was 13 hours. Our rig is slow as shit. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You're dragging a- 40-foot rig. We're dragging 5,000 pounds, and we max at 60 miles an hour, and everybody hates us on the road.

So there's four in the band. Five. Five. Five and a- And a tour manager. Yeah. Well, you're the tour manager. No.

No. He's asleep. Where's the tour manager? He's asleep in the van. He's the night driver. He's in the van now? Yeah. Fucking put him in the bedroom. Go. Oh, he's fine. He's fine the van now? Yeah. Fucking put him in the bedroom.

Oh, he's fine. He's fine. You sure? I saw pictures of him crashed out in the van. That doesn't look comfortable. I thought you guys were going to come early in the morning. I was going to put you up at the Van Dyke house. There's plenty of beds over there. Yeah, if we would have known, we would have showed up. But we just bathed at the

Starbucks. Oh, jump in the pool. Laundry day. Yeah, before the fucking monsoons come and it's a lightning storm. Well, that's the best time to get in the water, right? Yeah, if you have a death wish. And according to your tour dates, at least the Western states, you've got to go to Midland, Texas tomorrow. That's another death drive.

So there's six people in a van. Yeah. Can you even sleep in that? Yeah. We kind of made it so we can. Well, you drink a lot after the show. It's good when you have a driver you trust. Yeah.

So he doesn't drink. He does cocaine and we drink. Yes. That's good. That's a good trade-off. Yeah. I'd go, hey, you know what? Here's my portion.

You stay awake at the wheel so i found out about you guys uh through someone tweeted me uh you had some controversy in march some i don't know how much of it's stoked if you're not stoking it a bit you're stupid but because of the name black pussy uh how to because it was on huffington post and there was a some actually a chick from a band in a new new york daily news or something wrote an op-ed piece saying i was a victim a cabbie tried to rape me and that's why this name is bad. Right. It was a reach. Yeah, she was reaching.

They fucking stretched like octopus these fucking people stretched to try to figure out why you're bad. Thank God, though, right? I mean, honestly, you got press out of it, right? We got a lot of free press out of it. We got a lot of free press, except for, I would say, it scared the shit out of our publicist. And she was trying to sweep it under the rug. She's like, we just got to lay low. And I go, no, we don't.

This is how we do this. So we're on the road being attacked. My publicist is freaking out because she's kind of green. And I get it. But a real someone in the upper echelon of publicity would have said, let's strike now. And she just didn't know how. So we're on the road trying to figure out how to manage this and do our own publicity. Because we're pretty DIY.

So we're like, well, what do we do? Well, you stood your ground, which is the first thing. Because let's back up. Black Pussy, the name comes from the song Brown Sugar, which was originally named Black Pussy. Is that right? Or they wanted to name it? They actually sang it that is what I heard and named it that. I can't claim that the name came from that.

The name has always been ambiguous to me. The words just came to me, and I researched it, and that's how I found out about Brown Sugar. and I researched it and that's how I found out about Brown Sugar. But once I read that Brown Sugar was going to be named Black Pussy and then they named it Brown Sugar, it was an anti-rape, anti-slavery song. I'm like, I hit the jackpot in a band name because it has a good meaning. It's an anti-slavery, anti-rape. That's great. Yeah, people don't give a shit about meaning.

They care about buzzwords that upset people. They care about triggers. Right. Triggers. I'm so triggered right now. I'm sorry. I think you are the publicist. You just dress like you're in the band.

That was a good spin. That was everything that you would have had to say at any kind of controversy. Yeah, I mean, exactly. I mean, it's my art project. You know, I kind of birthed from me. Yeah, it's rock and roll. And, you know, and there's this history to the words. And like a dude interviewed me the other day, and he's like, we're considered a stoner rock.

So it's this genre and a psychedelic rock and he's like well i was reading in the urban dictionary that black pussy means when you get resin on your lips and your teeth after you take a hit and he goes that's what you guys mean and i'm like it's ambiguous bro but it means whatever you want that's right for For sure. Generally black pussy. And that's what's cool about art. Things that are ambiguous. And I say it all the time. I'm like, you don't ask me what all my songs mean.

And I wouldn't explain them to you. It's your interpretation. It's a pet peeve of mine. I want you to tell me what the fuck that means. Yellow lead better? You ever read the lyrics to that? It doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever, but it's a fantastic song, and I want to know what you meant. It's up to you.

It means nothing to me. I read the lyrics. It's fucking gibberish. I want you to tell me. That's why I hate music. You got to look deeper doug i should what's the intention of your joke to get a laugh and get paid and get the fuck out okay see if you said that in the music industry you would be shunned and shamed you know it's like see i think i've done a bit about that how i the people who try to hide their uh message in art like if you have a fucking strong

meaning just tell me what the fuck the meaning is i'm not a smart person right i'm on board already i paid to get in uh so can you do what was the catalyst that got this to go national do you uh in san francisco we were going to play a show at bottom of the hill, I believe. And being that there's, it's a bit of a feminist epicenter people, people who got angry about it and it, and it caught.

And then a woman created a change.org petition. And then once that hit, then it, it spread. All right. Well, and And then once that hit, then it spread. All right. Well, and how it caught on fire, how she titled it is just, you know, Black Pussy, Five White Guys That Are Racist and Sexist. You know, she knew nothing about it, but she started selling us as a sexist and racist man, which we're not in the slightest. You know, our music doesn't represent that.

Like, songs don't represent that. She just tagged us like that. So that spread, and then we started getting attacked. This sexist and racist band is touring under the band name Black Pussy, and it's like, no, we're a psychedelic band. We're just like rock and rollers. How long were you together before this? Years.

Years. Was it when you just started getting a level of popularity maybe exactly no it was exactly then because we you could have called it nigger cunt if you only had five followers on twitter right it was basically we dropped the new album and the new album started doing really well and uh we were getting premieres and write-ups everywhere and so it started blowing up and the tours doing you know blowing up online every you know everyone's getting excited and then we're attacked it's exact soon as you make a little headway they want to they want to bring you down right and well especially when there's five target five side of the barn you should have named your band. So it's just a funny joke when people are like, you know, they named this band this to get attention.

And I'm like, I came up with this idea, was it eight or nine years ago? Make sure you stay on the mic. Eat the mic. Eat the mic. Oh, yeah. It's like live. No, it's not live. Live for me, like on stage, eat the mic. You got to on the mic. Eat the mic. Eat the mic. Oh, yeah. It's like live. No, it's not live. Live for me, like on stage.

Eat the mic. You got to eat the mic. But, I mean, it's been around for eight or nine years, the idea. And we actually, Ryan and I, were originally in it, and we started playing out. And if initially someone would have came up to me and was like, that is racist and sexist and blah, blah, blah, and we started getting attacked from the first show. I would have been like, oh, I made a mistake. Except for people are like, this is the greatest band name and blah, blah, blah.

And this is amazing. And then eight years later. You have to stand your ground. I'm not quoting George Zimmerman here. You're going to stand your ground at that point. Well, yeah, because we've built a brand. Just from a business sense, it's like, wait, that's my brand. And if you were to change, you'd look weak.

We'd look weak. Yeah, especially in rock and roll. But back to the publicity that was doing so well when we first dropped the record before the controversy, a magazine, Terrorizer, did a premiere for us. They're like stoked. As soon as the controversy came, they pulled it offline. This is a magazine called Terrorizer that has Satan worshippers on the cover of their magazine, and they got scared. So I think we have a lot of weaklings in the scene right now that are—

Or just in the culture, in our culture right now. Yeah, but the magazine's called Terrorizer. Come on. And they're afraid of rock. So the rock scene is scaring me because I'm like, are you serious? That week. No balls. No balls.

And it just tells me we're in frightening times. And so we kind of have a responsibility now to kind of really stick to this and be like no rock and roll is important you know rock and roll is this attitude i mean rock and roll what does it doesn't mean like fucking you know like the original term is like you know that's what rock and roll is well first of all your your target audience is not people who are going to get offended by a name. Ideally, no. Right.

You'll get a fan base just by sticking to your guns. Well, you know, we got a lot of shit because of you, because we put up that clip of you, because it was so genius, and it embodied a lot of what our ideas about what we were doing are. And then people definitely were like, Oh, well that's offensive. What clip? That guy's a motherfucker.

Yeah. We actually, a lot of attacks because of that, because, but it's great. It was awesome. What clip? Cause I'm going to put together a seven inch single.

I think it's if you're offended by any word. Yeah. It's when you were an SLC, it was, it was that special. Yeah. And it was defended by words. If you're offended by any word in the English language, your parents were probably unfit to raise a child.

Right. And that's exact. Which is, I think that's pretty true. And we put the whole clip on. So a lot of these, I like to call them third wave feminists. You know, I don't want to attack feminists. There's no such thing. While I was looking through your shit, someone said, well, real feminists, everyone wants to believe their belief is the real Christianity.

Actual real Muslims don't. You're not the real just because you believe it. Oh, I'm the real fucking deal i i get i definitely get your point but i i think a lot of the original feminists are very confused by this new generation of feminists which are i call them fundamentalists leftists it's so far left it's fascism you know and it's just an extreme of something it and so at least the research i've done online they call it this third wave of feminism and they're kind of psycho and i had no idea it existed they're fucking gang members is what they are yeah online they want to group up and find other people with similar similar

beliefs there's nothing to do with your life the band black pussy playing in Boise is not causing rape or discrimination. You're great musicians. That's what I saw a lot when I was going through your Facebook page. Hey, I only found you because of all this bullshit, and you guys are great. If you sucked, you... Yeah. And a lot of people do that. If you sucked, you'd turn off the comments.

Right. yeah yeah and a lot of people do that if you sucked you'd turn off the comments wait i think that sounds like anita sarkisian she's this uh third wave uh feminist oh she's not gonna like this yeah she did uh the gamergate thing she's the one attacking video games well if you go to her youtubes she has to turn off all the comments because people are like, eat shit and die. 99%. 99%. There's no one. Yeah. But the point is you have more substance than controversy. Yeah.

So it leads you down a path to, oh, this guy's a great band. Yeah. We're about the music. We weren't about the band name. The band name just kind of encompassed the idea that the umbrella I wanted to put my art under, which was this 70s sexy idea and black pussy. I was like, oh, it's kind of like that black exploitation. I love that description that you have on the Bandcamp page.

It's someone else's description. No, it was you talking about it. someone else's description. Or no, it was you talking about, it's like, it gives you the 70s feeling of Quentin Tarantino directing Thin Lizzy in a Desert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

That's the idea. But it's a fantastic description. And that's what we were going for. That was, you know, and I always say that, like, if Tarantino was going to make a movie about a band, it would be five white dudes called Black movie about a band it would be by white

dudes called black pussy and it would be funny you know and he would take this and do this twist on it it wouldn't make sense if we were five black dudes or five black chicks just doesn't make sense it made sense for us and the art we make well i'm glad you rose above Well, I'm glad you rose above. Do you still have problems? Not really. I saw the picture. It flares every once in a while.

It's like herpes. Exactly. Like our band name is now an STD that flares every once in a while. I saw a picture on your Facebook, and I had this happen to me, but yours was worse. It was three sad people, two sad dudes and a sad chick in Boise with signs sitting there like a lemonade stand in front of a gig with handwritten signs about how black pussy, this does not represent the Boise art scene.

You're not welcome here. The comments on that photo were just pure comedic gold. Oh, and these people got a, so they're sitting right in front of the venue the whole night. And everyone's just like giving them shit the whole night. And they just sat there and people are just attacking them. I thought it was going to get violent. Is it something like someone's paying a bunch of illegal immigrants to stand in front of the Home Depot to protest? What happened with me was I just got the man show, and it was announced that the new man show was coming out.

And I was playing Madison, Wisconsin, another hotbed for lefty. Culture? Oh, I'm sorry. Empty-headed lefty college students. Is it the college factor that makes it that? Well, it came up on some, like, communists. Not even communists. Something like that.

A leftist, what do you call it, news group. This guy's playing at the fucking theater tonight, and we should get out there. And so it was probably ten to a dozen of them. And they told me I'm going to have protesters, and I thought they're kidding. I've never had protesters. So I go to do the show, and we're checking out the place before the show, Soundcheck. And they said, your protesters are outside.

And I still think they're kidding. And then I go outside, and there's 10 to a dozen college kids. No life experience. They have no context. They just taught this word means bad things. This, yeah. So they're out there

with their signs. The man show hurts all people. Sexism is never funny. Just dopey fucking... I don't know. You could probably order them online now. I don't have an opinion.

Can I order one on amazon opinion.com placards what's the victim olympics so i go out and i'm i'm like i'm smiling because i'm really you're protesting me i'm important you love me you really go do you mind if i take pictures and they're going sure i'm taking pictures and i realized they have no fucking idea who i am they they're protesting this guy that they were told to in a news group so then i'm talking to them without them knowing and then people start coming to the show and one guy starts yelling i mean they're giving them shit and a guy comes up to me going it's just fucking comedy man if you don't like it just go home like my own guy coming to my show has no idea who i am much less the protesters it was

the fucking greatest night oh amazing i love it that's great i really wish westbro baptist church would like i'd play in your town so you don't have to spend gas money. I want to be protested by them. Yeah, it used to be, you know, the crazy Christians protesting rock shows. And now it's college kids. Yeah. And I think a lot of it's, you know, it's these gender study courses. And I think they're trying to brainwash the youth into this kind of communist concept. And at least that's what I'm researching and finding out.

Let me get this straight. You're saying college is the problem? I think there's certain college classes that are problematic. And I even read this article, this leftist teacher, I forget the name of the class. It was like a leftist class. And the college professor is like, I'm name of the class. It was like a leftist class. And the college professor is like, I'm afraid of my students. They're so far left. And he's teaching this left class. And he's like, this is scary. These people are scary because they're, I think it's easier.

This is just what I'm seeing online. Since I didn't even know this shit existed until this started happening to us. Cause I live in a weird art bubble of this psychedelic. And what I'm seeing online. I didn't even know this shit existed until this started happening to us because I live in a weird art bubble of this psychedelic. And now I'm finding out that people are into being a victim, and it gives them meaning to their life. And there is actually a victim Olympic chart, your rating within the chart, and who actually wins. And the biggest victim would be a transgender

black female she wins everything so wait you cannot which which part of the trans going in i don't know i don't know way to dissect that oh don't worry it'll be a fucking that might be the title fight though though. But they trump it. Centipede versus Asian Hormone. Yeah, no, that's what it's like. And, you know, there's certain, I don't know, Olympic medals that trump the other ones. I've talked about this in my set on and off over the years. The people, you know, victim is a safe place to be like you're an elitist as a

victim in the society you can if you have better bragging rights well that's wrong because you it's the opposite of strengthening a community like who is the weakest link right yeah how are the weakest link welcome you have the most power you tell us the weakest link? Right. You're the weakest link. Welcome. You have the most power. You tell us. The weakest link is the one that has the loudest voice. And everyone else, the strongest, they have to keep their mouths shut around the medal winner. You know, the gold medal winner. You just have to be like whatever you say, even if you're a moron.

There are times where you go, like, I don't say faggot anymore in on stage when the mic shut off and we're talking to each other yeah fuck you faggot but like all right there is a nigger quality to that i was i would never say the word nigger in a serious manner i'm never gonna say the n word just because i have to unless i'm on TV. Yeah. See, and that's – I think – But I would never use that in the way – Didn't Louis have that bit? He's like, it's more offensive to say the N-word or somebody had that bit. I think it was Louis.

But yeah, I agree with that. Like you should be able to say the word. If you're talking about a word, you don't need to say the N-word. I think that's a little ridiculous. Is it the same as saying the N-word? That's the point. That's the point with all vulgarity. The bit was, then you make me say it

in my head by you saying the N-word. Like F-off, you know what I said. It wasn't Frankfurter. A Mormon saying... The footlong's offensive. To the guys. To the guys that don't have it. To the guys.

To Jared. To the guys that don't have it. Sorry. Fucking dead spots happen. I had seven thoughts running through my head. I just heard thunder while you were thinking of what to say, and I thought I could hear your brain. It's silly to a point, but you do see why words would be offensive to people that you know you're a gay kid growing up and everyone just keeps saying faggot like it's a bad thing i remember when i grew up commie was the worst thing you could call a kid on a schoolyard because it's back

before you guys were born before it was cool to be a commie because right now we have college kids marching around with pictures of chairman mao thinking that's cool and i'm like i don't think you know your history because that dude killed 70 million of his own people and that's reality well democracy is not bad but our country is a bad example like our government as an ambassador it's getting an f yeah yeah communism you didn't know what it meant as a theory you just knew that country was communist and they had nuclear warheads that could blow you up so communism is bad well it's just a theory people in power tend to be dicks and abuse whatever the theory is uh so that's a great point if you called someone a commie on the schoolyard, well, I'm a fag.

Don't call me a commie. I'm just a fag. Yeah, it's weird. Each generation, the word changes or the words. It's like, oh, we got to eliminate that one. It's called the euphemism treadmill. It really is. It's a bit that I'm doing now.

But how retarded was the medical word retard wasn't and they changed it because they made it retard because they used to call them imbeciles or morons that was the medical terminology and then we i'm not going to do the bit but we we adopt that to call our friend when he does something stupid so you can keep changing it. Well, Rogan talks about that, and he's like, I'm not going to give it up because the literal definition means not smart, even though maybe it was adopted by the medical community. I thought it was to be behind or slow. It's like to retard something.

Right. There's a way to utilize the word. Makes sense. I mean, it's a musical term. Yeah. Retard. The point is you're not using that word to make fun of developmentally disabled people. It's because your friend is a douchebag and he did something stupid. Right.

And faggot is kind of the same thing. It's a word of weakness. But as people are – I don't – what? Oh, sorry. Just tell me. I was just trying to be oh oh take a break well no this isn't for on the air this was for you to look down and go hey you know what i can't read your fucking can anyone read that i can't read that 28 28 days later yeah 28 minutes oh all right that's right. I'm not wearing my reading glasses. All right, yeah, let's get a drink, and we'll come back to this. I didn't want to break up that conversation,

but you didn't turn your ringer off either. All right. The call's more important. Hi, Brian. We're going to a break right now. It's Joe Rogan. He's saying, fucking shut it down. All right, we're doing a podcast.

This is important. Fucking Joe. All right, we're doing a podcast. This is an important joke. All right. I tweeted back. All right. Bye-bye. By the way, Brian, no, we still can't take phone calls. No, I wrote a mean tweet about Rick Shapiro last night.

No, no. I wasn't trying to be mean. It was trending. Annoying things comics say or something. Hashtag. What was the one you said? Hey, thanks to everyone who came out tonight to support live comedy. Yeah, just trashing the audience.

Audience is the worst part of art. If I'm not wrong. You're having to fucking appeal to all these assholes. Yeah. On a certain time now, go. Yeah. That was last night. Go be nice.

Yeah. Oh, selling merch? Well, no. It was just like we were late. We got there late. I mean, we have a fuck ton of gear. We got to set it up. We got to late. I mean, we have a fuck ton of gear. We got to set it up. We got to not play bad.

You were going from L.A. to San Diego. Which wasn't bad, except for we had to pick up records. Oh, that's right. So we picked up a thousand records from the middle of godforsaken L.A. Yeah, the plant was late, so they didn't get chipped to us, so we had to pick them up. Then we went to Robbie Krieger's studio, so we had to pick them up. Then we had to go to Robbie Krieger's studio because we're going to record our next album there.

Because we're super cool. Yeah, we're so cool. We're just late. Just running late. Had to eat and shit like that. Then it's like 15 minutes, you're there and you're on stage sweating and you got to do it. Sometimes those are the best shows where you just barely got there. Yeah, it was a great show. From the got to do it. Sometimes those are the best shows where you just barely got there.

Yeah, it was a great show. Running from the van to the mic. We should plug the Casbah, which is our new favorite venue in San Diego, which is a fucking fantastic room. Is that Gaslight? Gaslight? Gaslight District.

Gaslight District. I have no idea. All I know is that planes fly over your head 12 feet ahead. I don't think that's it. I know. We did three different shows in San Diego. We did Ocean Beach, La Jolla, and San Diego. And the Gaslamp was the American comedy blank.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll get to some of your gigs coming up, because we played a lot of the places that you're going to. That's how I knew. What was your tour called? The Shitty City? Shittown Tour. Yeah, we had this little tour we do.

We called it the Shitty City. Oh, you're on it. You don't know it, but you're on it. Fuck, man. You overlap. But yeah, I wrote down a lot of the places that I've played that you're playing. I don't know if you played them. Walter on washington and houston never believe that's coming up on the 29th yeah yeah yeah fucking in the summer no because they're that remember that was a sauna that was a complete sauna and they're playing there in august show from the start the

best thing was the lady who owned it was total punk rock, gave us the money. We already had dinner, so she gave us the fucking per diem. And it's like, there was no agreement. She just handed me like 50 bucks. I'm like, fuck it. I love this lady.

She doesn't own it, by the way, anymore. Good luck. Oh, man. I don't know what you're walking into. It's a sweat hole. Oh, it's horrible. Actually, I remember one time doing that There was a place across the street that they owned

As well The liquor store That was where everyone went afterwards It was an outdoor bar situation I remember doing whippets with Lulu I remember one of them I did the gig with Neil Hamburger

And I did the gig together And heurger, and I did the gig together, and he had to wear that wool tuxedo. Do you guys know Neil Hamburger? No. Oh, you're going to get fucking turned on to Neil Hamburger. All right, we're going to take a break. What are we going to play on the break while we get drinks? Let's play The Reaper.

Fuck it. All right, let's close on the cover. Give them an original on the break. Let's play Lion's Breath fuck it well the show all right let's close on the cover give an original on the break um let's play uh lion's breath yeah lion's breath good all right we'll be right back She sleeps alone in outer space If I would have known I would have told her That we're falling out of place If I would have known I would have known her It's hard to believe when you have your way If I would've known, I would've called her

To do it all again would be the way So do it all again and work me away If I want it then I want to go home What's the difference anyway? Nothing'm thinking out loud, even long breaths I'm starting to just do, just to hear What did it matter? There's nothing left This is my way, it's not this If I would have never, I wouldn't call her She rubbed me in the last just in case I love you. Nothing can help, not even heart's breath Right inside it's just you, just a hero

What would it matter, there's nothing left What's the difference anyway? Nothing can help, not even heart's breath Right inside it's just you, just a hero What would it matter and there's nothing left guitar solo Not too bad. Do you need to get room tone for the rain? I kind of like the rain, though. I love the rain. So maybe I won't pull it out. Drop that in for the rain? I kind of like the rain, though. I love the rain.

So maybe I won't pull it out. Drop that in for the whole thing. Because I'm going to start. Oh, now go back in and pull the rain from this and put it in the other? Put it in all of them. How fake do you want this to be? We don't even have a band here. This is Derek doing all the voices.

A one-man show. I had my early days of comedy. We were in New Mexico, me and Becker. And I was driving this piece of shit 84 Olds Cutlass. And the transmission died or the drivetrain. Something shit the bed about 30 miles outside of town on a fucking nowhere. It's from Roswell, New Mexico to Clovis, New Mexico was the gig that night. So Becker wasn't on the bill.

He was just opening for me. And it's Wile E. Coyote. It's just this strip of nothing, no traffic. They're going to see that. So I go, I'll hitchhike to the gig, and you get this car back in Roswell to get the transmission. Fixed by the aliens. Yeah. Yeah. And so I packed just an overnight bag out of my shit, because I don't know how long it's going to take him.

He'll find me somewhere. You're young, and nothing matters. And I went out to start hitchhiking to no one. There's no... going to take him he'll find me somewhere you know you're young and nothing matters and i went out to start hitchhiking to no one there's no so i'm just standing looking at him and a fucking city bus pulls up like a brand new city bus like like new york city la metropolitan they get Metropolitan. Public transit. Yes. And I look at Becker, and he looks at me, and it slows down. The doors open. Completely fucking Twilight Zone. And I get on the bus like I should be giving him a transfer,

or do I need change? It was so surreal. They have a plant in Roswell that builds buses, and then they transport them to cities. I find this out after I'm waving through the window of an empty city bus on a fucking Wile E. Coyote road in the middle of the desert. Thinking you're dead. Yeah, Becker and I just giving each other eyes like,

That could have gone real bad. Could have been like a rape bus the guy tells me that uh they you know i'm transporting this to i think new york uh they built from the factory and i'm like oh okay and i was so i'm sitting on the bus by myself and he starts talking to me and he it was marge shot was she owned the uh reds the reds and she had just gotten into some shit about calling players faggots if they wear wore earrings and he said oh you have an earring what do you you're not a faggot and i went oh no and he just went on this like racist homophobe tirade where you go.

Any other time, you just walk away. If this was a douchebag at the bar, you'd walk away. But this is the biggest, weirdest, lifesaver throwing you the fucking ring when you're drowning. So I just had to go along with his bar shot. She just said it like she meant it. You faggots, where are you? Okay. But the bus pulled up right in front of the gig in Clovis, New Mexico,

and doors open, and I walk into the gig. And it was like, all right, at what point do you say? I bring this up because you were saying that border patrol stops have told you what's your name your band black pussy all right go ahead like at what point do you go all right racism is working in my favor here just shut your fucking mouth well we're just cashing in those white privilege like tokens yeah that much that's a new uh term i've never heard until this like people are like get your male white privilege away from me. I'm like, what is that?

There is no fucking doubt you have. Well, not you guys so much as me. Now I'm old with a fucking bald spot and a tie. You guys are scary to look at for a lot of white people, too. So we have privilege. Yeah yeah we do have fucking privileges as white people i'm not gonna shit can them i also have privileges as a guy who worked his ass off as a comic and has money now and people go oh hey doug stanhope rarely how's that doug stanhope privilege working out out I don't ever take advantage of it

but people say hey I saw you're coming to Springfield Missouri play in the Outland Ballroom in Missouri not Illinois great town great drugs there great people yeah the green room's fucked up because you have to piss in the trash can green rooms

without bathrooms well Outland Ballroom in Missouri where you without bathrooms i don't know who the well outland ball room in missouri where you're playing i don't know yeah yeah we love it yeah the back room is right where they sell the tickets and people come in actually you know what i actually uh the last show there i did piss in the garbage can in the green room because because i'm like fuck we got to go on stage and i don't want to walk through the audience i'm the guy, we got to go on stage, and I don't want to walk. Walk through the audience. Hey, I'm the guy that's about to go on stage. You're not an animal. You have to pee in the garbage can.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's pretty common. And I dress like an idiot 70s person, too. So you stick out. Yeah, you can't hide yourself. Well, speaking of that, in Texas and no man's land and all of that, a lot of the band, most of the band wears really short shorts. And Texas is a great place to have long hairs wearing short shorts.

Stopping at the gas station in the middle of the night after a gig. Oh, the flying J is so welcoming. Yeah, exactly. What the hell? We hear that a lot. We'll walk in, people are just like, what the hell? Double takes, like, oh, faggots under people's breath all day long. It's a Bob Seger song.

And I've said that before. It's like, we're just artists, and you're calling us racist and misogynist. That's crazy because we get attacked. We get called fags and queers and shit all the time. Like, we're going to cut your fucking hair. We feel that oppression. Nice bell-bottoms, hippie faggot. Like, we're going to cut your fucking hair. We feel that oppression. Nice bell-bottoms, hippie faggot. Yeah, exactly.

That shit still exists. But I'm not claiming to be a victim because I've chosen to be a long-hair musician. You said faggot wrong. Right. I guess I don't know what my victim Olympic medal would be. Maybe it would be like tinfoil. I don't have a lot to say.

Most improved? Yeah. Most improved? Yeah. Most improved. Good call, Chaley. He's my tour manager, but I haven't worked in the States since last October. I'm broke. I'm actually looking for a job right now. We got room.

I know. I saw the tour bus. That is brilliant. You got to come out and check it out. I was going to go check it out when they first showed up. This is the one that... I didn't want to look like I was being snobby. Let me see what you're driving.

You're entertaining. But honestly, I mean, you look at it from the perspective of like, oh, yeah. You can lay down in that thing. You can lay down, yeah. Well, they got six people in the thing. But you were talking about doing a tour with other comics and rolling. But they have a bus and not a van? It's both.

It's like a minibus. It's a Ford Transit. Yeah, it's the new Ford Transit. They're great, man. They beat out the Sprinters and the Mercedes. Well, at least for towing. Let's take some of that Ford money. I looked at the Sprinters online.

Let's get sponsored by some corporate America. Yeah, Ford. Sponsor us. I have a bunch of questions. We were just shit-faced last night. We'll get to those. I've got one, though, because Doug and I were looking at a thing. Because we take the Suburban out on the road from here.

So we do it like you guys. We drive out and drive back. Right, yeah. Because before that, we were renting vehicles landing somewhere and then and doing those uh the the the vans that uh convicts usually have touring windows all the way around not good but industrial horrible we looked at a thing called rock was it rocket vans yeah i are they out of pho Yeah. I know exactly. They build tour buses for like middle acts or like not the big bus. I know exactly what you're talking about.

They're real nice. They have the little living room. It's like the sprinters with the living room and the bunks in the back. There's comfortable areas. Right. Bunks, man. And they're made to tow. So what was the thing that made you buy this one instead of going like a rental vehicle?

I mean, we tour so much, it's cheaper for us to buy. I mean, because we own it, we get the warranty. Like when you start adding up those rentals and shit like that, and we own the business. And the only way to make money is to tour. I mean, what little money, and it just kind of, that's the cycle. We're just doing that. And this is our new upgrade.

So we traded in the old van, upgraded this, a little more comfort, a little more safety. Who are the eight-year guys? Us two. You two. Dustin and I have been playing music for about 10 years. Yeah. We've been in various projects. All right. music for about 10 years yeah we've been in various projects and all right because uh

bands uh we took uh we the first time we rented one of those dumb fucking vans and i go i'm gonna bring a couple guys with me we brought carlos valencia and junior stopka and bingo's with us chaley's with us i think for a minute chaley's girlfriend tracy's with us. Chaley's with us. I think for a minute, Chaley's girlfriend, Tracy, was with us. And then one of our opening acts dragged the bag and brought his girlfriend without our fucking knowledge. And then all of a sudden, we're a band. All right. At best, I'm bringing one opening act, and he's single. Well, the thing about traveling with a bunch of people is that you've got to weed out the ones that can't hang.

And that happens real fast. Yeah. If everyone is willing to grab gear and move shit, then it makes it worthwhile. If someone is not going to participate in the other part of the business, which is set up. It's not even that though. It's even just like psychological. Keeping your cool. Like in our van, we never talk.

There's no music in the van. I set the rules. I'm kind of the captain. We don't jam music unless it's this particular moment where we're fucking stoned out of our minds cruising down the highway and we're like, let's rock out.

We all stay in our very private worlds. Every once in a while, we listen to podcasts throughout the whole van. It's all get in, we listen to podcasts throughout the whole van. But it's all get in your own world, leave me the fuck alone. And that's the sanity. Because it's not a party in the van.

It's like you have your one bench seat and that's it. That's your world. That's your world for hours and hours at a time. So we're good at it. That's your world. That's your world for hours and hours at a time. So we're good at it. This project, or these dudes here, three years now. Who's the newest guy?

Probably Keith. He's the key master. Is he key for chief? I found two. Either one. He is a chief. He is a chief. He's the Keith chief. So yeah, he set this bitch up.

Yeah, everyone in the band, we all do different things because we're very DIY. So we kind of are our own publicists. We do everything ourselves. We run our own label. And so everyone has their little jobs. Like Dean is like the daytime driver and then tour manager is nighttime driver. Aaron runs a lot of the merch and does merch numbers and shit like that.

Ryan does a lot of the graphic art and videos. You ever bring the girlfriend on the road? Not the road. Locals. Yeah, short shows is fine, but we don't have the room for that. How many have chicks?

Three, four. You are the many have chicks? Three, four. You are the only single guy? I sleep in the studio. Birds live in his beard. It's hard to... Let's get into Aaron's life. Single guy has all the good stories. That's the guy, because he's the newest also.

No, he's not. Second newest. But you want to get into the reality of our life. We have these people trying to destroy us with this controversy. And basically, the dudes without girlfriends live in the rehearsal room. We can't even afford apartments. That's the level we're at. We have a better life on the road right now.

We're at that point. We can't because we run the whole business. So basically Aaron lives in the rehearsal room. If we're fighting with our chicks, we're all in the rehearsal room. There's nowhere else to go. And, and that's the reality of being in a band and six of us, we have to take care of, that's a big family. It's not, you know, we don't go to the gig and get the guarantee. And, you know, I got that guarantee. It's like that guarantee, it goes away fast. And then it has to go make the next record.

It's a thin spread when it goes across the entire piece of. You don't get to buy bags of blow. No. Right. But in the rock world, you get a lot of free blows. A heavy-handed handshake. So it's an interesting reality that I've been advised to actually not talk about the reality. I'm supposed to pretend.

I'm supposed to create the delusion for people. And I'm like, I like talking about the reality. I never could make it into a bit, but it was always the saddest thing on Stern to listen to porn stars, having to pretend like they like to do that. Or Dennis Hoff and his bunny ranch girls all right. That fucking reality show. I just love to have sex and they can't ever break down and be honest,

where Stern wants honesty. I have to do this. It's all I know. I'm not skilled otherwise. No. Yes, I love to have Dennis Hoff's bloated fucking head staring me in the face while his 60-year-old dick slides in and out of me so I can get on a reality show so I can feed my kid I haven't had custody of in 15 years. Yeah.

That's way more interesting, though. Like, that's what people need to hear that shit. You know, because I think if people heard the reality, they would stop reading People fucking Magazine and all these tabloids. And they would think about their own lives. But it's weird for you as a rock and roll guy. No, people expect that your life is fraught with bullshit. They want to hear that.

I think that's the fantasy. Maybe you're right. Maybe that's what rock and roll people like to hear, all the downturns and shit like that in rock. Because it is is it's a it's a heavy reality and i think our fans know that because that's why fans are supportive doing it eight years yeah the gloss is worn off of hey i just did fucking coke off the toilet tank in the ladies room yeah and now you're gonna suffer for it don't know. I saw some titties last night, and they were still good. Titties never get old.

It's weird. Okay. A girl flashed him driving shotgun with a dude. She was driving, and her boyfriend was shotgun. Yeah, she just rolled up next to the van. She was just driving down the street, and she goes, show me your boobs. Then I go, aren't you supposed to show me your boobs? And she was like, okay. And her boyfriend's sitting next to her, show me your boobs. Then I go, aren't you supposed to show me your boobs? She's like, okay.

Her boyfriend's sitting next to her. We even stuck traffic on the 405. You can have this conversation. Show me your boobs. Hey, remember us? We just pulled up two spots and now we're here again. Hashtag show me your boobs. Dump them out.

Dump them out. Yeah, that's it. Dump dump them out that's a real thing ask us some questions oh I well first of all money spreading money well I had some questions about who's

reading glasses that's a good look for you too alright getting late, we figured that out, single guy. I remember when I was first in a relationship where

once the threat of strange pussy leaves the equation, the road lost a lot of luster. Because when I started out, pussy was the only reason you're doing this. That was your development deal.

That was your big break. That was you getting discovered was some mediocre chick in Halifax blows you. Figured it was her only chance to touch stardom. We have some amazing strange blow stories, but we won't get into them. Well, thanks for being on the podcast.

I have amazing stories I'm not going to tell. Aaron can talk about them, though. Tell all my blow stories. There was one time this guy was getting right in. Let's just say Ohio. Getting blown or cocaine? Cleveland's a hell of a city. There was one town in this town, right? Yeah. Let's just say Ohio. Getting blown or cocaine?

Blown. Getting blown. Cleveland's a hell of a city. Ohio has great people walking on the sidewalk. Do you find the same as I find, that the shittier the town, the better the audience? Yes. Yes, absolutely. We love secondary markets.

Yes. Or thirdandary markets. Well, those people are deprived. Right. They don't have any inhibitions, so they actually rock out. Like the major markets. Dude, LA. I mean, we just played LA, and it was great.

But when you play cool cities, it's hard for people to let go of how fucking cool they are. Or their options. Well, there's seven other bands playing where I can hear them when I go out to smoke. There's six other raves I can go do ketamine at. Yeah. It's your option. So the shitty towns, the people really come alive. Yeah, it's amazing.

Vegas is the worst. People think Vegas sucks. Vegas is the worst. Sorry, I mean. We've had one good show there. We've met good people in Vegas, but god damn. You're going back to Vegas. Yeah, we are.

We're playing the Beauty Bar. The Beauty Bar might be the coolest rock place to play in Vegas. Yeah, that's the only place we've had a good show. Oh, the Double Down. Double Down. We know the Double Down. We played there, I think, the last time. Not last time, but the tour a couple times.

They have great places to take shits. Real clean. Oh, now we're getting down to it. That's what the fucking road's all about. Shits and laundry. That's exactly. Clean bathrooms. Yeah.

That's why we bomb Starbucks every morning. It's a great place to take a shit people banging on the door why are you in there so long I'm gonna take a shit here and then go across the street to the fucking Dave's gas station to buy a coffee

thanks for having me yeah we'll take some of that Starbucks money I take shit to the fucking Dave's gas station to buy a coffee. Thanks for having me. Yeah, we'll take some of that Starbucks money. I take shit. Starbucks, the cleanest place to take a shit on the road. Right. Locking bathrooms, you take a shower. Yeah, poor showers, man. Poor baths, yeah.

I know them well. If there's a drain in the middle, all you need is an adapter for the sink. Oh, yeah. I just started throwing it on me. You get a selfie stick to hold the shower head up? You're fucking on it. Well, this is what you do.

Once a week, you get a Motel 6, and you steal all the towels. So then they'll last you that week, so you can take whore baths, and you're just like, you just fucking scrub down, and then you walk out. You're not really stealing. Next week, you'll drop them off at the next hotel. We don't steal. That's illegal. It took

me forever to stop stealing shampoo and soaps because I spent three years living out of my car when I first started and I would just, you did that because you had to. But then I kept doing it and I just have bags of shampoo and hookah. Did you ever sell them at gigs at the merch table?

Probably. We were on tour. I want to give a shout out to Ron from Gypsy Hawk because when we toured with him, he was selling DVDs and leather pants and other rando shit at the merch table. Anything he discovered. Anything. He had Ben records. Dude, anything just to try to scrape together a little more cash for drugs. Yeah.

We've done that. Andy Andrist had a yard sale after a gig in Appleton, Wisconsin at Skyline Comedy Club. He just went to thrift stores or just got shit that was sitting around in the green room. Anyone using this? And he just set up the whole lobby with a spread with a yard sale sign.

And if it's funny, they'll buy it. Yeah, like a fucking shitty chair for five bucks. Yeah. What about Junior? He was buying. We would go and we were looking for clothes, goofy clothes. Junior Stopka, he'd buy other comics, DVDs, cassette tapes, VHS, or albums. I'm selling comedy albums after the show.

They're not me. Tonight I have Larry the Cable Guy, Red Fox. But he'd sell them because it's funny. I'll sign him as Junior Stopka or the artist. Well, if your bros are selling to that wholesale then you get the mark over you're like sweet definitely a cosby record in there are you guys uh thrift store guys oh yeah yeah there's obviously you levi's uh orange tag is that what's up yeah that's the score shaley said you gotta make sure don't fuck with our

thrift stores while you're coming through Arizona. But it's a different kind of 70s you're going for. We go for the leisure suits and the plaid jackets. Yeah, that's it. All right. Is that it? Nice. It's a little hot.

Yeah, it's kind of stripped. All right. Questions. All right. Questions. All right. Which one of you guys is the most likely to leave the band to join 38 Special as one of their most recent replacements? I'd say Aaron or Dean. I don't know.

It just depends on the incentive. I would just steal from 38 Special. I would just steal from 38 Special. I would just steal a song and make it my own. I was going to say, you have a great cover of Don't Fear the Reaper. We'll probably play that on the outro. Well, I want to play a couple of your originals so they know you're good. And you're not a cover band, but it's a fucking great cover. So yeah, Blue Oyster Cult.

38 Special. Hey, we want you to be the 18th replacement for the original guy. Who's leaving? Final Taps drummer? I don't know, man. In all honesty, I don't think anyone's leaving. No one would leave. No one wants to get to the fair circuit? We're family.

Who's most likely to have to get bailed out of jail at 6 a.m. on a Sunday? Dean, for sure. We've bailed them out of things that weren't jails? Hold on, just so I know, what's Dean's job in the band? What does he play? Badger.

Drums. Yeah, he plays drums. His official title is Badgerfield Rexasaurus. Rexasaurus. Yeah. The official title is Badgerfield... Rex... Rexosaurus. Embarrassing stories. Yeah. Yeah, he's... Wait, you're Dean?

Yeah. Yeah, that's Dean. String Bean. String Bean. The tallest guy in the band. Wow. Well, you want to have some profile. It's Spider.

When you're a drummer, you don't want to be behind the kit. He's one of the motherfuckers that makes it cost us more money to get into Canada, and we get scrutinized more. Oh, yeah. You know? Minister's permit. DUI or something? Yeah. Yeah.

Hedberg got busted. We co-headlined a gig years ago before he was dead. That's convenient. He had got busted when he was 17 for stealing Tupperware out of a truck. They're just teenage guys. That's this guy. So that's that guy. So Chief stole a piano, and then his roommate ratted him because he was a pussy.

So now we got to pay for these two dudes across the border. It's the tax, the $200 dick tax. Hedberg had to go through this whole process to get a minister's permit that would allow him to get in because of... His first joke when we actually played the gig after all that bullshit was,

man, you guys take leftovers way too seriously. That dude was rock and roll, man. Yes, he was actually fucking rock and roll. He was very rock and roll man yes he was actually fucking rock and roll he was very rock and roll he's not comedian that's he's an english dude and he's like you know guys like hedberg and hicks they're only cool because they died he's like i wish i could die right now because then you know my comedy would be immortalized well that's not true i'm not saying that's true but hicks more so than hedberg and hicks more so because all the subjects hicks was talking about right before he died were still in play a dozen years later it was bush clinton terrorism war in iraq drugs that all those

stories repeated themselves so the the material, Hedberg still lives up. Agreed, agreed. Yeah. And Bill Hicks was a fucking AA sober guy when all of that shit was printed. He was not a rock and roll. Hedberg was fucking, in all the bad senses, which are the fun senses, rock and roll. To the end, every night, I used to road manage for Hedberg on that last tour. And every night after the show, there was someone from rock and roll fucking hanging out.

I remember we were doing a show in Philadelphia, and Phish was playing the same night. And they sent a guy in a van to hang out backstage in the van. And they sent someone up and said, hey, there's a fish sent a van over for the after party if you guys want to go over. Mitch is like, I don't know those guys. So, well, he's going to stay there anyway. It's like, all right. And then he fucking did the show where, I mean, this is fucking the rock and roll.

And we never went to the show. That guy hung out there forever. Well, we were talking about the parallels between comedy and rock and roll. And that, that super cliche saying comedians want to be rock stars and rock stars want to be comedians. But in reality,

everybody's just fucked up. Yeah. I mean, well, yeah. everybody's just fucked up yeah i mean well yeah rock and roll guys are generally the only other art you can hang out with as a comic because like actors stupid they're fucking empty vessels yeah yeah generally generally yeah rogan and red band were just talking about that i was listening to them on the way over here and he was like i, I went to this super douchey Hollywood party, and everybody sucks.

And one other comedian walks in, and you run to them because it's the only other person that you can talk to. Black people nodding at each other at the mall. Yeah, comics. I wrote that at the mall. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, comics. I wrote that in the book. It's like AA, where you know you have a family, even if you don't know each other. If I'm in Indianapolis, I show up at a comedy club, I know I have people to talk to.

I would say that the stranger family idea exists more with comics because you within the music industry you have a lot of tourists still and a lot of people just wanting to win the lotto versus do the work yeah the weekend shit or whatever you know even if they're on a tour it's like

touring band like if you within the music scene you know who's the who are the real touring musicians and that's family but the locals and shit like that it's hard to connect because you can learn to play a guitar right you can't learn to be a comic right yeah exactly and i think i heard you you were talking to the dude from, oh, not Testament, Exodus. Exodus. Rob Duke.

Actually, he's in Kill Generation now. We've got to get rid of him. Actually, I had a little disagreement with that conversation. And it's like, yes, everyone can learn to play guitar. And that's the difference. But people that write music and that are in bands that are being creative are they are like comics and people can't learn to do that that what i'm saying is you have more douchebags in your field because someone yeah yes yes that makes sense they go i'm a musician yeah right not necessarily gotcha okay

that makes that makes a lot more sense i just have to to sleep when I listen to that podcast. But comedians don't have local loadouts. Oh, yeah. Local loadout when the locals who've never played a show and they're breaking down drums on stage. On the phone. On the phone. Talking to their mom. I just got done playing a show. And you're like, get the fuck off the stage because we got shit to do. I got to put in Doug's feet.

It's like if an open mic host the show and then a local, and if in between you getting on stage, you had to wait for them to get through all of their bullshit in the green room about how great they did. Their gear is still on stage blocking. They can't do a turnover on the stage because they've got – I've never seen that. That's fucking amazing.

No, we call it the local loadout. Local load-in. Yeah, local load-in. They show up late. And then the local loadout. Also, they're like – as soon as they're done, they're like, see you later. Have a good night. Have a good night.

And then they go home. And then they go home. I've never felt – I'm sure there's times, but generally you never feel animosity with another comedian on the stage. Whereas bands, I remember we were talking about it last night, going to see fucking Van Halen in 1984, and them booing the opening act off.

Yeah. And you want to crush the other band. You read biographies of bands. Yeah, we fucking destroyed the headlining act. That's not comedy. No, but you guys have middlers that want to destroy the headliner. Occasionally, but it's not. And you also have shitty comics that if you don't have that kind of power

to get a good bill. Yeah, local. I'm sure you hate comics hate comics yeah i'm sure there's like so there's some i fucking love comics he he's i'm gonna i'll say this because it's what he's thinking but it sounds better if i say it he he is he will watch genuinely watch the openers, and he wants to listen. Backstage, if the fucking host comes off, and he starts chatting Doug up, while the middle act is on, Doug's like, goddammit, I just want to fucking

hear this guy, because Doug's going to talk about that guy, something he said during his set. Doug's a huge fan of comedy. If he steps on my dick and does a similar bit, I want to know so I can make my bit segue from his. Not walk out cold and like. God, you fucking did my bit, dude.

All we're talking about tonight is black pussy? Is that it? Well, that's interesting because we can't do that as musicians. I mean, we can in between songs. We could say something. How's your relationship with Ape Machine? Great. They're great dudes.

Yeah, awesome. They're awesome. We wouldn't go on tour with a band that we despise. We wouldn't do that. We just wouldn't sign up for it. But we've played with bands that have no business being on a stage. Many a time. Many times.

And they think they're amazing. The ego is so insane sometimes with bands. But look, one direction they're breaking up, so let's not talk shit. Don't talk shit. I think they're going to get into gay porn. Again? But yeah, there seems to be more animosity between bands than there are with comics. Fuck, I don't know, man.

But see, this is interesting because don't you think some comics don't want local openers that would do well in front of them? Have you ever heard of that? Well, there are comics that book shitty acts in front of them on purpose to make them look better. There's also in comedy clubs, if you're an unknown entity and they just book three random comics, yeah, well, that guy might want to destroy the headliner so he gets to headline next time but it's not personal yeah like i just fucking i got way better response than the headliner can't you bump me up but it's not personal comics are really a tight-knit community from what i've found in 25 years. Well, that's cool. You've never dealt with like a local comic who was shitty but thought he destroyed you.

Oh, yeah. That was like just booked you up. The saddest thing is that misplaced self-confidence. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We deal with a lot of that. Yeah.

That happens, but you're nice to him. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we deal with a lot of that. Yeah, that happens, but you're nice to them. Yeah, we're still nice. There's insecure headliners that don't want a good band to open for them on the road because they might threaten, they feel threatened by the quality, let's say. Like, that's a real thing in rock and roll. And merch sales. Yeah, that gets testy with comics yeah and same with musicians like when you're out with bigger bands like if we're out supporting they'll limit what you can set up like the number of shirts yeah they're like square footage yeah or they want to take a square footage and shirts and like you get

one hard good which is a record the headliner gets a cut of your merch? Oh, that. Well, promoters will. It all funnels to the same. So who do you appeal to for bullshit? Because I could just walk in and go, hey, guys, I see you're all loaded in here. Do you get a count? Jeremy, do a count?

Well, then we lie. I could bullshit my whole way through. Yeah, we do bullshit our way a lot. But a lot of times you show up and they're like, we want 15% of hard goods and 10% of soft goods. Hard goods meaning? Records and soft goods, T-shirts. And that's heavy. You're like, man, I just drove fucking 10 hours and now you want to give me a shitty guarantee. And then you want to take a piece of my merch, which I –

They do that to us where they want a piece of the fucking $10 poster. Yeah. What? But can you put that in contracts that you don't? But when you're at the show, fucking contracts don't mean shit because you got 10 minutes before you go on. My only – the only thing I can do, the biggest stick I wield is the fact that I'm talking about this before you go on my only the only thing i can do the biggest stick i wield is the fact that i'm talking about this before doug goes on stage because we can stop the fucking show right and i've done that right have you guys bailed have you left never bailed yeah we we've had our

moments you know see we bring so much gear a lot of times people trip out and that's a part of our show we basically bring a museum on tour you have your entire back line yes out and that's a part of our show we basically bring a museum on tour you have your entire back line yes yeah and it's a it's a big it's like basically what the who used to use in the old days before they stack cabinets all old vintage sun all old sun let's plug sun it's all like let's get some of that sun money yeah Yeah. It's late 60s, early 70s gear. Wow. So it's a big deal, and a lot of people come to see that. But a lot of venues or sound dudes will be like, oh, why don't you just play through their gear and this drum kit? And we're like, no.

When you put the head on the double stack, does sometimes it touch the ceiling? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, the bass rig is the biggest dick on the stage. So that's usually the one that gets the closest to the ceiling. But are you on both sides of the drum or just one side? Both sides.

Fuck, you guys are rolling. You want sun also? The whole backline is sun. I mean, it's a museum. I don't know what the fuck that is. I found my moment to take a piss. Yeah, this is all the nerd talk. Chaley knows fucking music.

I love it, man. Yeah, I used to play a Gibson amp. Oh, shit. Well, one thing that we've learned, and when I say we, Doug's not a part of this. He's the guy that we're representing. Chaley toured with a band or several bands, cover acts. Cover acts. Yeah.

That's Chilko Charlie's is one of the places we played. We did the West Coast, and then we did Guam, Hawaii, Seattle. He played in a Marilyn Manson cover band for a minute. You were in the band yeah playing he was twiggy twiggy you kind of look like twiggy so bass player i see the resemblance i got a picture of twiggy holding a phone that he had texted me with a picture of him as twiggy i blew that motherfucker up man so uh the the thing i learned out on the road doing merch, because that's a lot of what I do, is I actually sell the merch.

Because Doug and I roll together. That's it. We've pared it down. You're like TM kind of tour manager? Yes. Merch manager. Exactly. And the hard goods, fucking no way.

I don't even bring them anymore. But that's the one thing I can actually negotiate. How did you have anything to do with us recording an album? Right. And then posters is another thing. It's very lucrative. It's different for rock bands. Vinyl is having such a resurgence.

We sell vinyl. Within subculture communities that vinyl is a big chunk of what we take away. And no one owns a record player. It's the perfect time. But people love the art. They want something to sign. And if it's a CD or a DVD, that's one thing. But if I can bump them up to a vinyl, they'll get it.

And it's art. It is. And it has value. And it retains its value. Exactly. And I think people are realizing that. You can buy this thing for $20, and in 10 years, you could sell it for $100. I mean, that's just how vinyl goes.

Or CDs, people piss on them. Yeah, they're coasters. Well, it's digital, right? Yes. They want something signed. If there's a way to negotiate, yes. Do you guys do well with posters? Yes.

Do you sign a lot of posters? Yeah, we kill a lot of posters. Okay, so we do the same. We sign a lot of posters? Yes. Yeah, we kill a lot of posters. Okay, so we do the same. We sign a lot of posters. But posters are great. If you could ever negotiate, if you're ever coming into this situation, this is what I've noticed, is that if you can just get something in your favor, like you know you're not going to be able to fucking negotiate down the percentage on soft goods, T-shirts,

because they know how much is going on there, right? But if you can say, all all right then fucking come on man we look at us all rolling in this van come on knock us down give us the hard goods that's what we do and that's what we usually do like we'll negotiate like so i was right yeah you're right you're right yeah yeah we always negotiate at this level nobody fucks with us right now. It's only when we peek our head into the next level that the sharks get real greedy. We show up at a lot of gigs, now theaters especially, where they go, oh no, it's 25% of the house if you want to sell merch. I go, I'll fucking sell merch at the bar next door.

Yeah, dude, out the trunk, man. We have legendary bar sales at our shows because my fans are drunks. And if you're going to be that much of a cunt, I've gone on stage and go, Hey, do you want me to promote? Hey, hit the bar.

Or would you like me to open with, Hey, remember DUIs are really bad bad and there's checkpoints all around town. So it's best if you drink at home. How would you like me to open this set and we can... Or the other one. That leverages some things.

Doug has wanted to go on stage and say, hey, you know what? We were going to have merch sales. I know everyone walked through and you saw merch available when you walked in. We're selling out on the street afterwards at the bar next door. Wow. And you come hang out with us. Exactly. But it never got to that.

But that's definitely one of those things. Percentage-wise, how often are you running into that kind of bullshit? Not very often. 20% of the time. Really? Still? Not even. That's a lot, man.

Like four times. Three times on the last tour. We had the first night, especially, had 10 even. That's a lot, man. Like four times. No, three times on the last tour. We had the first night especially had 10 shows. That's 30%. All right. Well, it's still. Still. It's low enough that it's not a huge thing, but it is a thing where like-

But when it happens, you're like, come on, man. Yeah, what the heck? It's sold out. That's the thing. Yeah, it's sold out. Aren't you making your money? It's usually the first time you play there. Then they tally up the bar receipts, and then they can't fucking email you enough to come back. It's sold out. That's the thing. It's usually the first time you play there.

Then they tally up the bar receipts, and then they can't fucking email you enough to come back. If they spent that much attention on staffing the bar correctly, we wouldn't even have this conversation. It would be all gratis. A bigger percentage is how often the bar runs out of beer or whatever. I love that. I love when you play a show and they ran out of whiskey. It's the greatest feeling. Advertising doesn't work.

Oh wait, you're out of my brand of whiskey? I stopped drinking Miller Lite on stage because I'm not a Jägermeister for the same reason. Was it a hot shot of Jäger? Jäger? Stopped drinking it on stage because they would run out of it. It was just a shot I could drink without puking.

Ironically. Yeah. We're a Jaeger band. We had it on our rider, but we never got it, so we took it off. Dave Attell, when he was drinking, used to have that on his rider for the green room, because we're comics. We don't need anything. Just a bottle

of Jaeger and a Bible. That's good. Who's the guy that steals Bibles and sells them? Me. That's you? Classic. No way. He steals them. I sell them. Is that shit lucrative? Does that work?

Fuck yeah. We've jacked the prices up. Stop it, stop it. We're not talking about this price. This shit can't leak out. This fucking shit is good. I got a great story about last time we were in Chicago. I was hanging out at the bar getting my beers for stage.

And you'll be playing at Reggie's Rock Club. We are. We play. Yes. That's going to be a good one with Black Dusk. Yeah, we love that joint. It's awesome. So last time we were there,

I was grabbing beers for stage and the opening act was there and he's like, dude, let me get you a shot. And I was like, awesome. What are we drinking? And he's like, well gin. And I was like,

well gin? Whoa, wait. I straight up asked him, I was like, do I have a choice in this? And he goes, no. So we did a shot of well gin and I went on stage

and I was like, this show is going to be fucked. Oh, man. It hurt. It hurt. I didn't hear that story. I would have declined. Yeah.

We're gin drinkers now. I like mixed. I like particular gin. I like G&T's. That's not us. What's G&T? Gin martinis. Gin and tonic.

Oh, yeah. I don't like that. What do you drink with gin? Well, Negronis, which is Campari, sweet vermouth, and gin. And orange peel. With an orange peel makes the fucking thing. That's fancy as shit. It's all liquor.

Well, that's like the martini. I'm a Jim Martini guy, but it's got to be a Tangeray 10. Can you make a Negroni? Yeah. We'll pass it around. That was the one. I did 30 days where I was trying to quit smoking, so I lived in this trailer over here. Did you pull that off?

Did you live there for the full 30? 30 days. Well, that didn't work. Two drinks a night. Well, then I get a fucking book deal. The one thing I couldn't do without smoking is write. So as soon as I get out, six weeks I made it, and I go, hey, you get a fucking book deal the one thing i couldn't do without smoking is right so as soon as i get out six weeks i made it and i hey you get a book deal i can't fucking but during that time i was only drinking two drinks a night so we're doing all these old

fashions and tom collins like all right if i'm, we'll put some effort into the drink. And the Negroni is the one that stuck. Still like a Manhattan is great. Yeah. But yeah, we're getting a Negroni brought to us right now. Amazing. I haven't had one. I'm excited. I've never had one.

Because I love gin. I love gin. Actually, a record, we recorded a record in Joshua Tree, and I had to rewrite the whole record. And I was stressing out. I hadn't slept in two days and I'm, you know, we're tracking and I'm rewriting. Yeah.

I get woken up at 5. A.M. Dustin's hammered on gin, losing his, losing his fucking mind. There's no ice. Get on a bike. Like we ran all the ice out.

So I'm just drinking straight gin. Oh, and I'm like, you got to get up, too. We got to have a conversation. So we had the quintessential sunrise, what the fuck are we doing here right now conversation. Which is classic. As the hummingbirds are flying around fighting each other.

Me and Dean are, we're fucked up on mushrooms. And we're like, this guy's tripping harder than us. Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Never drank whiskey or gin till then. And all of a sudden, that 30-day rehab just broadened my scope of alcoholism. You're like, well, if I'm going to try to quit drinking, maybe I should just expand my drinking. Yeah.

You haven't sought out all the possibilities maybe i'm not i'm definitely not ready to quit i need to really experience this before i quit yeah know all the corners yeah are you gonna rent out the shed to other people looking to detox no i get a lot of emails about that no this is for. This is my own personal detox. We'll bring you by the other place on your way out. When do you have to leave? Pretty soon. We've got steaks waiting.

Okay. Yeah, I don't know how far a drive it is. It's not bad. Okay, that's easy. But if there's food. Dude's being super nice. That's rad. Yeah, it's 10 after 5.

If you have to load in at 7. Ish. Yeah, something like that.. That's rad. Yeah, it's 10 after 5. If you have to load in, it's 7. Ish. Yeah. Something like that. But this is fun. Thanks for having us, brother. Yeah. I'm glad you came. Yeah. If Chaley were here with a Negroni, we'd wrap up. But do you have any good road stories you want to close on?

Any fucked up stuff that's what people want to hear? I don't know if we can even tell that story. Which one? The Dean story already on tour. No, I can't tell that one. Dean's shaking his head. Can't tell that one. Do you want to talk about the first show in Canada?

Okay. I'm going to introduce the mayor. The mayor plays bass. He's going to tell a great story. So we were up in, what was it, Calgary? Or Equity, Alberta. Population one. Population one, yeah.

It used to be a city. There was a railroad marker on the tracks that said Equity. And that became the town. Some dude registered it, and that was his property. And so we were doing this big van show up there. It was called Vantopia. It was like boogie vans from the 70s. Nice.

A bunch of heshers. That was awesome. We had a fucking blast. So we start drinking out of the keg at 4 in the afternoon. Come 5 in the morning, we're all hammer drunk. We can't figure out what we're going to do. We got to drive. So basically, Dustin comes over, and he's like, hey, I found some Coke.

The drivers, let's do some lines. Let's get the fuck out of here. So that transcends and then we're all loading into the van and I realize that Chief is nowhere to be found. We're in Canada. None of our phones work. There's fucking a sea of cars and campsites. Yeah, so like all

70s vans everywhere. I mean, hippies. This dude could have wandered off into the grass and passed out for all we fucking know nobody can get older we gotta go like we gotta drive 12 hours over this pass to get to vancouver tomorrow for the show and so we're walking around the one dude i see walking i'm like dude have you seen our keyboardist and he's like yeah he's in that car right there and i'm like oh thank god so grab him he's fucking the high on mushrooms just hammer drunk. Yeah, sun's coming up.

And we're like, dude, we got to go. We got to go. And so he tries to climb in. I was like, no, just get in the back. You're better in the back. Just pass out in a bench seat. Like, me and Dean, we got this. We're awake.

We're going to drive. I'm your co-pilot. Yeah, let's party. I woke up somewhere in fucking Canada at a rest stop. And I'm like, where's my burger? Because we got burgers from this place. That's all I remember. Yeah, Canada, we get crazy.

I think, what was it, Toronto, we're driving. We just played a gig with the Caius dudes and we're driving to this after hours show and Keith has the megaphone. What were you saying? We were in Chinatown. It was a lot of... I do it Japanese, which is

even worse. And I was having a Xanax addiction for that tour because I couldn't sleep because it's the Chasing the Bus tours. So the big band, the headliners have a bus, so they get to sleep. So they drive all through the night, but we're chasing

it. And I'm like, I gotta fucking sleep or I'm not gonna be able to perform. have a bus so they get to sleep so they drive all through the night but we're chasing it and we're just and i'm like i gotta fucking sleep or i'm not gonna be able to perform so i'm like popping xanax and drinking so much jaeger and just blacking out walking around toronto just well mike was in the van he was yeah no he didn't like it no he was not okay like you you fully disturbed him yeah no we were crossing back through the border, and three of us were basically blacked out crossing through Vancouver. And Keith and I, we prop ourselves up shoulder to shoulder so that the border agent thinks that we're cool.

And I was just passed out in the back. I was just like, no one got me up. I was just like, idiot. We started fighting. I was just like, hidden back there. But yeah, we started fighting. We were like, we got in this Irish fight over nothing. Like, this brother, they're like, well, fuck you. You're touching me, feck. Oh, yeah, that's right.

I was like, I don't need a seatbelt. We're not even going anywhere. But I didn't realize where we were. Yeah. But I love that we were able to pull it off and get through. Yeah. No problems. Also, well, me and Dean, we were temporary residents pull it off and get through. Yeah. No, no problems.

We were, we were temporary residents. Oh yeah. Yeah. They have to. So when they cross the border, we have to pay this tax and they become temporary residents basically because they have DUIs and theft. So if they get busted,

if they get busted in Canada, they get, they get tried like citizens. Looks like you're fucking staying here, eh? But I'm sure Canadian jails are fine. I mean, like Donuts. You get Timmy Hortons.

Timmy Hortons caters Canadian jails. Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. No, it's Timmy Hortons. Yeah, we call it Timmy's. Locals. They call it Timmy's. Timmy's.

It's a first name. Yeah, yeah. Or Timmy Hortons. It's like Mickey D's. Yeah, we spent way too much time again. In the summer, they call it Timmy Hornets because all the fucking Hornets just like, they ambush customers. They love the fake shoes.

They love all the artificial shit. Shall we wrap this up with Black Pussy? They got steaks waiting for them in Sierra Vista. All right. Your Twitter is at Black Pussy Band? Yep. All right, good. And Instagram and Face Crack is troll us.

Just whatever you do, Google search Black Pussy Band. Exactly. Not Black Pussy. Unless you're at work, then just black pussy. You don't need her. So, yeah, find them. Dates. Shit.

Hang on. Add your dates. My friend Cherie, who's an amazing black woman, is calling me. She calls me when we're on TV. You know what? I know what you feel like. Hey, black people like me. I saw every black fan that has ever come to your show.

You have a picture. You've seen them all, yeah. I do the same thing. I don't even, my name's Doug Stanhope, but I still love when black people like me, and I will tweet their pictures. It is. That's amazing.

It makes you feel better about yourself. Well, black women are amazing. They're like, let's get crazy. Here's some dates I wrote down because they're places I've played, but you're going on this route. Howlin' Wolf in New Orleans, we just played there. It's a fantastic club. We used to play one-eyed jacks, but the fucking crowds get out of hand.

But it's still a good club. Howlin' Wolf. Howlin' Wolf has a green room right next to the stage It's a template for every club That wants to know how to build a green room That dude is a tour manager right there That's August 31st And we're going to front load this podcast

So please get out Back Booth in Orlando I have so many great stories You're playing there That's September 2nd, 2015. You're at Back Booth. Have you been there before? No, first time.

It's fucking great. All right, cool. Yeah, it's just... Shitty parking. Shitty parking. All right, good. Thanks. Shitty.

And we did this on an off-night New World Brewery in Tampa. Oh, we loved it. Outside. They had to build a stage there for us. Chaley did. Two by two? It was an outdoor gig.

That was Poor House. We played the Poor House. This is Fort Lauderdale. There's a lot of them. They're everywhere. In fact, the last bar rescue was a Poor House. That name doesn't sound right. I've played in like lot of them they're everywhere in fact it was the last bar rescue was a poor house he goes that name doesn't sound right i've played in like four of them louisville kentucky i've

played a lot of poor houses uh but one in uh fort lauderdale or was it west palm no fort lauderdale fort lauderdale there was no stage i'm a short dude and there was no stage. I'm a short dude, and there's no stage, and everyone's standing. So unless you're the first five people, you can't see me. So Chaley went out and built a stage under me while I'm performing. So you're like right out of his body? They got milk crates and a piece of plywood and built it. I was standing on a stool at one point, the bar stool for my drink. I stood up so people could see me, and they built a stage behind me while I'm performing.

And then I stepped back, and everyone could see me. That's amazing. The messiah that is Stanhope. New World Brewery. That's Reggie's on the 8th of September. Reggie's in Chicago. Reggie's Rock Club. We love Chicago.

And the Outland Ballroom. Yeah. We love it. It's our favorite spot. That's one of our favorites. It's the best. On 9-11. Yeah.

Oh, shit. It's listed on your website, on your band camp, as Springfield, Illinois. Yeah. I fixed that on the road. Thank you. All right. It's Missouri. That's what happens when you're in charge of your own shit. Yeah get a text from doug stanhope hey fix your shit i'm like yeah thanks all right we're

gonna close out with black pussy uh uh with uh you know the cover of uh don't fear the reaper i love it and uh find them and see them and uh tweet them and text them and love them all right And see them and tweet them and text them and love them. All right. Thanks, sir. Did you ever see a black vagina? It looks like a wallet. It's Otto and George as a puppet act.

Rock and roll. She opened her legs, a bus pass, and a visa fell out. Oh, ma'am, you dropped your credit card, ma'am. That's not what black pussy is all about. All right, see you next time. Thanks, guys. Oh, our times have come Even now they're gone So fear the reaper To the wind, the reaper Up to the wind, the sun, or the rain

Hey, I'm here Come on, come on, baby Don't you dare Baby, take my hand Don't you dare Don't you dare Don't you dare Baby, I'm your man

La, la, la, la, la, la, la Iñigo e via miúme Cynhyrchu'r ffordd y byddwn ni'n ei wneud. Now it's time, it's time Here we go now, let it go We'll be away in two years Out together in eternity We'll be away in two years Fourty thousand men and women every day Fourty thousand men better women every day For the house of better women every day I go for the house of coming every day Come on baby

Baby take my hand We'll be in the light Baby I'm your man Bye. guitar solo I'm out. Thank you. A'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r ddau, a'r dau, a'r ddau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r dau, a'r, a'r, a'r We're going to be fine We were now, we're gone Even last night on a sadness It was clear that she couldn't go on The door was open, the wind appeared The candles blew and they disappeared The curtains blew and then he appeared

Come on baby Let's run to hell Run away like it's the second time She ain't taking his hand Come on baby Come on baby Don't fear the reaper Thank you.