The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Episode #19: Quinn from Impractical Jokers, Pt.1

Episode Date: February 12, 2014

Doug invited Quinn and Sal of Impractical Jokers out to the Bisbee compound for the Super Bowl party. Doug discusses the medium of hidden camera and highlights of the first 3 seasons. This episode is part 1 as Sal didn't show up until the next night. Impractical Jokers airs Thu. nights 10pm on TRU TV.This podcast sponsored by Robert Altman, CPA.Recorded Feb 01, 2014 in the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope, Brian Quinn from Impractical Jokers, Brian Hennigan, Junior Stopka, Bingo and Greg Chaille. Engineered and Produced by Greg Chaille @gregchaille.  Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. or two of the four if you do not know the impractical jokers stop this podcast and find them on youtube look up watch a couple of their shows because it's one of the funniest fucking shows i've ever seen so do that stop and come back oh you're back now. See? It's fucking funny. Hey, we're in Bisbee, Arizona. And Q from our favorite show, Bingo and I's favorite show, Impractical Jokers. Q and Sal were coming down. Sal got fucked up at the Howard Stern party. He's not here yet.

Part one, we're going to chat with Q from Impractical Jokers. All right. All right. The potato peelings in the sink did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink after the liquor stores have closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you

In the end La, la, la. All right, well, tomorrow's Super Bowl, and we might not be able to make this happen. So fuck Sal. We are recording, right? Fuck Sal. Oh, Jesus.

I wanted to be the one to say it first. Not only is Sal not here, we're doing the podcast with one of the Impractical Jokers, my fucking favorite. Your favorite show? Of all the

Impractical Jokers. You can't say Boardwalk Empire or Impractical Jokers, but the only funny show I watch on TV is the Impractical Jokers on TruTV, which is a network that's such a piece of shit. You don't have to confirm or deny.

They're changing. Brian Quinn, cue from the Impractical Jokers. Oh, wow. Thank you. Jesus. Overdid Oh, wow. Thank you. Jesus. Overdid it, guys. It's so nice. Your show,

because most things I like, as we argued about as my iPod played last night, no one else likes. And in comedy, okay, the people that like me, only a very narrow margin. So it's nice where I can play your shit for everyone that's been hanging around.

We've been playing your shit for everyone. Bingo, my girlfriend plays your shit to anyone who will come over, and they all laugh. It's universal. It's not like, oh, well, you have to be in the right mind. I am deeply skeptical. And I read Smartfuck magazine. And when you talk to me all the time about the impractical joke, I was kind of in my head going, yeah, that's very funny, Doug,

but I'm not going to like this. When I watched it, I thought it was fucking brilliant. Wow. And that's my manager, Brian Hennigan, and he's a cunt of a human being. Yeah, that's why I'm surprised he said that, because he's generally, I've met him a few times, he's just a cunt. But he said something nice.

It was really remarkable. I was prepared to think this is the douchiest, most boring, obvious stuff, and it's magnificent. Why did that compliment sound like an insult?

I watched them repeatedly. Bingo watches them to a point of it's obsessive compulsive. Like, I get psoriasis. I get a scratch. I got to watch this one. I'll watch them over and over and over again. I'll shower tomorrow.

Yeah. I know that about Bingo. And it makes me very happy. The fact that you guys like the show was specifically for Sal and I although fuck Sal specifically was just shocking because we've always considered you so brilliant

and we have such self confidence issues that we just look at our show and it's just like well it's our show so it can't be that good you've turned that I talked to you when you first started doing that show, and you were worried about this and that,

and you seem like you fucking own that thing. Well, I don't know. I still get nervous about it. I remember the first time you and I ever spoke was we were talking on Twitter how much that you liked the show, and I was so worried about the new season, because we had a new showrunner on.

The president at the time was busting our balls. So I tweeted you and I said, hey, would you mind giving us notes on the new season? And what a testament to a guy that you are. You guys had a blackout here in Bisbee. Oh, I remember this. You were on the phone and you guys had minor helmets on with the lights on to read the notes

to talk Sal and I off a ledge. And when we got off the phone, we were like, they couldn't be nicer. I remember that night. That was unbelievable. But can I ask a question, which is how did the show actually happen? How did it come about? Hey, let's explain the show for people who don't know Impractical Jokers. It's a hidden camera show, which I love the whole hidden camera.

From candid camera on. And then they started getting shitty with Ashton Kutcher, where you could do this so much better. But then you had the UK Trigger Happy TV. That was fantastic. The UK. And then they made the American Comedy Central version. But you do it different. These are four guys.

They're high school friends, grew up together, where the prank is not on the mark. It's on you. You dare each other to go out and do shit. You can explain this better than me. Yeah, I probably couldn't, actually. I mean, that's it. You have to see, I'm already't actually. I mean, that's it. You have

to see, I'm already stammering like a prick already, Spingo. It's not working out for me over here. To anybody who's ever listened to me on a podcast before, I'm drunk right now, so I'm sorry for the change in quality. Don't worry. This place is like the Wonderland over here. No, it's a joke. The whole point of the show

is on us. It's to embarrass us. Hang up. Bingo is here, and Bingo No, it's a joke that the whole point of the show is on us. It's to embarrass us. You know, that's... Hang on. Bingo is here, and Bingo has her favorite episodes. Give me an example of one thing. Okay. All right. Then evacuate the chair.

Okay. No, no. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. My favorites always are the... Not Jack in the Box, but White Castle. Oh, White Castle.

Where you'll work White Castle. And there's four of you, and one guy has to go out there and has to do whatever you tell him to do. Yeah, he has a little earpiece in his ear. IFB. Right. So you're on a mic in the back room going, okay, Joe, go out and get naked and come back with just your apron on and serve this guy. That's right. And you try to make your friends do embarrassing shit.

And the idea is to get them to push them to the point where they refuse to do it. If you refuse, you get a loss. And whoever loses the most during the episode, the last thing in the episode is called the punishment where just one person has to do something horrible. Like I had to teach my parents sex ed for 45 minutes, and they made the presentation. I remember that. Yeah.

But this is the thing, that you are so genuinely embarrassed. You are actually guys that... It's my parents. Sal, you can see him get squeamish about things and physically recoil from, I don't. And you did that with your parents. It was disgusting. Well, the way they went all out, what they did is they had told, we shoot an intro. Hey, we're here at whatever place.

This is what we got to do. The guys had filmed an intro and said, Q's going to have to teach sex ed to a bunch of teenagers. So they opened the door, and they had cast an entire classroom full of actual teenage girls, and I thought that I would have to go in there and teach it to teenage girls. Walked away, and then when I came back in the room,

they switched the whole class for my parents. So I went in mentally prepared to teach girls, and then I had to teach my mom. So the look on my face when I open the door and see my mother, where I get beet red, and I look like I had to teach my mom. So the look on my face when I open the door and see my mother where I get beat red and I look like I just shit myself is true. Can we go back to

how did the show come about? How did this get pitched even? We shot a mini episode of it on our cell phones. We shot and they cut it together. So that was it. We made like a five minute You shot this on cell phones. We shot, and they cut it together. So that was it. We made like a five minute,

we made like a five minute. You shot this on cell phones, the pilot, for presentation purposes. Yes. Yeah, we shot it on cell phones and you could see it look shitty

like the camera's moving and when we start laughing like the camera starts shaking and stuff like that. But did you do this like just for shits and giggles? No, we did it to sell,

we came up with the idea for the show. Okay, you didn't fuck with each other. I dare you to do this. No, no, no. We were making something that we wanted it to sell it. We came up with the idea for the show. Okay, you didn't fuck with each other. I dare you to do this. No, no. That wasn't... No, we were making something that we wanted to try and sell.

And we love hitting... But you also have a comedy improv. Yeah, we have a group called The Tenderloins. All four of us in a group called The Tenderloins. We do sketches and stuff like that. I think we have like four of them. Okay, so you were already doing that. And you go, hey, this would be a funny thing to do.

Yeah. Well, yeah. It was actually our third television pilot. We sold one to Spike about six years ago. And that was like a Curb Your Enthusiasm. Sorry. I beg your pardon? Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Here's the problem, Brian. I have this speech impediment. They're always making fun of it on the show. And now that I'm drinking, it's going to be even worse. Good. That's easy for you to say. All we want to do is embarrass you. Yes, so don't worry about it. And we'll record it so I can listen tomorrow. We really, you

came down to Bisbee, and we're thinking, oh, we should try to come up with, because we do fuck with things during the Super Bowl party. We should get that involved, and I'm like, you guys are here for like 36 hours. I'm not going to put you on the spot. And we

didn't come up with a good idea. But if we did, we'd put you on the spot. We can always come back. Yeah, this is great. I mean, does anybody ever listen to even know why we're all here for your Super Bowl party? Yeah. But these come out so randomly that nobody. Oh, you don't even know when we're going to do like five podcasts during the Super Bowl party? Yeah, but these come out so randomly. Oh, you don't even know when?

We're going to do like five podcasts during the Super Bowl party. This one will say Super Bowl party, so it doesn't... The other ones. In March 15th, you go, hey, Super Bowl party. What?

I don't get a lot of guests down here in Bisbee. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Did you get a lot of guests down here in Bisbee. So can I ask you a question? Yeah. When you got the, did you get like a call from True TV saying, hey, we're going to say yes. And you went, holy shit. True said yes in the room. Like it was insane. Get ready.

The woman at True said, don't sell this to anybody else. We want this show. Holy monkeys. But then later in the day... Alright. Go. Then later in the day... We can't have the fucking

background nonsense in every goddamn podcast. So go on, Mr. Quinn. So later that day, MTV... I feel like I'm just telling... I should throw a joke in here. Yeah, but come on. People have to hear it on and on.

Like a knock-knock joke. There that day. So MTV made an offer on the show too. So then MTV and True got into a little bidding war. And MTV said, well, we want to take the show from you and just recast it with teenagers. With hot. Right. And every episode would be different teenagers.

Kind of like the US version of Trigger Happy TV. Sure, exactly. They turned it into a game show. True was like, well, we'll put you guys on TV. And we took a vote, and I got outvoted three to one. I wanted to sell it to MTV. I was like, that sounds horrible being on TV. I was like, it sounds like a nightmare.

And True TV is a piece of shit shit in my opinion, not yours. Everything else on TruTV is not true in the least. Was it called TruTV at the time? Court TV had started. There you are. Oh, yeah. Back when it was legit. But they canceled.

I think they've canceled or about to cancel almost every show on the network. They got rid of the old president. They got a new guy, Chris Lynn, who ran MTV. Oh, I remember. We love Chris Lynn. I remember when you called me, and I get drunk and psychopathic, and I found out exactly where the old president the old president, lived on the internet, and you're like, how do you know this?

I go, I'm fucking, I'm a serial killer at heart, but I do comedy as a day job. You sent me some articles that were so fucking funny. You were like, this douchebag? And then you sent a news article about him? I was like, you killed me. You got me through some hard times with that stuff uh i'm sorry so did you actually have a holy shit moment when you thought this is happening this is really gonna no because um i didn't

really want to do it too much like in the beginning i wasn't i really didn't want to do it and i was working as a fireman in new york city at Well, why would you want to drop that sweet gig? It's amazing. It is, but it is a sweet gig. But I was working two jobs at once, so I was working like 100 hours a week. It was just horrible. So I was lack of energy to get excited about it.

But that's one of the beautiful things about the show. It's so genuine where you guys don't want to do it. Right, yeah. If it was someone who could do anything to anyone, hey, walk up and say this to, we know comics, and they'll just say anything to fucking anyone anytime. Can I get out and tell them? You guys are actually squeamish about doing the shit you're making each other do.

Yeah, that's for sure. But that's what sells it. And all of you laughing in the background at the guy that's for sure. But that's what sells it. And all of you laughing in the background at the guy that's falling apart. It's supposed to be like what everybody does with their friends. That was how we pitched it. If you ever get good at it, the show will suck. Yes, exactly.

Well, there's no danger of that, trust me. But there's a remarkable sort of pathos to the show where you will empathize with what you're doing and your so-called marker victim where you actually think oh, that's such a human moment. I remember the one I was lucky enough to see actually being taped

in Central Park in the fountain and the question that was asked or was meant to be asked of the woman was, what color is your real hair and she was obviously and there was nothing wrong with this woman other than the fact she had obviously dyed hair and i think you refused to ask because it's like you i you you you bought the penalty yeah you just take the loss on that because you don't want to be mean it's hard you know what i

mean like some jokes you can get away with like i can say something kind of outrageous to someone knowing that in two minutes uh we're just going to tell them they were on a hidden camera show and they're probably going to laugh it off. Something like that you can't take back. Once you make fun of a woman's horrible dye job, one, she's not going to sign. She's not going to agree to be on television. That's what people don't understand.

When you see a fuzzed-out face, that's someone who was pissed off they wouldn't sign a release. But the gag was so good, you still will pixelate their face because you don't want to lose the gag. You don't want to lose the joke, right. But that's the huge problem in hidden cameras. You have to make it something where you can walk along. I think we need to clue people in that you've worked hidden camera. Yes, I've worked hidden camera.

Something called... Something... I don't even remember. Invasion of the hidden cameras. No, it was when hidden cameras attacked. It was after... It was invasion of the hidden... It was when hidden cameras attacked

and then 9-11 happened when it was on the shelf and they changed it to invasion because attack When hidden cameras attack. And then 9-11 happened when it was on the shelf. And they changed it to invasion because attack was fucking weird. That's what will cause problems. But I've done other pilots. I did Spy TV, a couple episodes. I just love it.

I hated doing it. I really didn't like doing it. But I loved the genre. Yeah, it's I hated doing it. I really didn't like doing it, but I loved the genre. Yeah, it's a really fun one. It's just growing up, it was one of my favorite ones, too. I mean, I used to watch a can of camera reruns all the time and shit like that. Yeah, we have a box set. Yeah. It's great.

It's a great medium because it's so human. I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious. But they made it shitty over Ashton Kutcher. Well, of course, because that's about celebrities and shit like that. There's a few that were just these horrible, smarmy... The fucking Ashton Kutcher one was the worst, where you go, you ruined it forever. That was punked, wasn't it? Punked, yeah.

But you came out, and I expected to hate it based on the goofy commercials. Yeah, and I expected to hate it based on his description to me. And it was like, this is fantastic. It's fucking brilliant. Yeah, you were a big one, Doug, when we found out you liked it. That made us really happy. So thank you.

And now I'm so excited that you like it. Yes, now that I, the Stentorian voice. Now the guy that hates everything. Hey, Mikey likes it. So how long were you a fireman? Eight years. Eight years. It's the best job in the world.

It is the best job in the world. Really? Yeah, it's the best. What did the other guys do? Except for that 9-11-y shit. Well, you know, I wasn't. Well, that was, you know, one day, I guess. I don't know.

I don't know how you write that off. I don't know. Yes, I guess you're right, except for 9-11. But yeah, 9-11 changed that job, too, a lot. Because I got on after 9-11, and it was just a different... It was like more... Well, they had a lot more openness. Yeah.

That's also... Wow. Wait a minute, though. That's also where... It's just math. Where you came in at That's where you can compare Boardwalk Empire Because you have to compare the comparative careers

Of people that used to be New York Fireman Steve Buscemi Versus Mr. Quinn here Dennis Leary Buscemi's doing a little bit better than me For the moment. You put out more episodes. Wait till Boardwalk Empire

goes hidden camera. Who are they going to call? So today we watched an episode of bonus footage. Which means they want to fill in an extra episode. Yeah, exactly. It was great.

The one that you watched today, because it was stuff that we had disagreed with the network, and they cut out of the show. So when the new regime came in, they were like, well, is there anything you guys liked? And we gave them that footage. So it's actually stuff we wanted people to see. You get some leverage.

Yeah, you're getting some leverage. You're having your Arab Spring. people to see. You get some leverage. You're getting some leverage. You're having your Arab Spring. But one of the things you had was because it cuts back to in studio and you say

that's one of the few times or only time the cops get called on us. And that's always everyone asks you like who's getting hit? You do some shit where you're like, I cringe. Like, oh, it's usually with black people. Yeah.

Because I'm scared of black people. Not your girlfriend. She's scared. Yeah. She's white acting. But, like, when you have to go and but i'm where you there's times where you go and fucking new yorkers in general all think they they make you think you're gonna get hit in the face just for talking to them hey which way is 42nd street bam ah my nose yourself bitch uh well we really don't

say i mean we we're good at reading people at this point. Now what happened in the beginning would happen a little bit more where people get upset at us. But I think we just like know who to go up to and who's going to be a fucking total dick. No, I watch it. And OK, they'll say, give me an example. Go up to that person and try to kiss them on the mouth or whatever. Try to hold hands. Sure. Yeah.

They're more clever than this. I just don't have a good example. They're not that much clever. Some of them are fucking brilliant. Anyway, but you go, I would, like, I watch the show and I think, if that was me,

I'd just find the most small, meek person in a wheelchair that couldn't hit me. But you don't. You go to fucking. Where's the fun in that? You go to some fucking hardcore. Yeah, well, we sent Joe to talk this huge, huge black guy into going to the woman's bathroom with him,

where he had to go up to him in a Dairy Queen and be like, hey, I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something. And the guy was, he's a fucking house. And one, I didn't think Joe was going to do it. Then Joe started doing it. And then the guy went, well, what do you want to talk about? And Joe's like, ah, I didn't think Joe was going to do it. Then Joe started doing it and then the guy went, well, what do you want to talk about? Joe's like, I'll tell you in the woman's room. Come in the woman's room.

The guy went in the fucking woman's room with him. This giant guy. Joe wins. That is really indicative of we say to each other all the time, I cannot believe what people let us get away with or just go up

to them and say it's bled into my own life where now i just say whatever i want to people and i've yet to get smacked you know what i mean like cops pull me over i joke around call them a big when they come up to the window and you know it works it's a weird thing like people i think as you as long as you're putting out a good vibe do we believe in things like vibes i believe so like yeah yeah you know you get the occasional crazy we would have ideas for hidden camera where you go no one would ever believe that ever like this the whole premise and you're you're stunned when people fall for just because they're out of their element. You put them in a weird situation and they just,

okay. Yeah. But you, you test people's. Yeah. But they're all nice. So many, everybody's really nice.

So tell me about the, just the, that one, the guy that called the cop. Well, that happened. Well, the first time we got called the cop

is because we, we got called the cop. Jesus fuck. We got called, the cops got called on us because we went because we got called a cop. Jesus, fuck. The cops got called on us because we had this bit where we were going to baby talk adults. We were like, who's a good adult? And the plan we came up with is we were going to go to a park, a children's park, and sit there and start talking to the kids. Be like, oh, do you like it with a ball?

Do you like it with a ball? But then start talking to the adults and being like, it's a nice day out, isn't it? And the goal was to get someone to baby talk back to you. But what we didn't count on was we're four middle-aged, childless dudes hanging around a kid's park, acting really weird. Like we didn't even have a stroller.

We didn't even think to do that. There's been a few episodes where you like dare someone to touch on pedophilia and you're like, oh fuck. Yeah. And yeah. Yeah. Way even scarier than racism.

There's an episode where you're teaching musical lessons. Yes. And the, the girl from Guam, I had it stuck in my head. Oh, Randy from Gu lessons. Yes. And the... The girl from Guam. I had it stuck in my head. Brandy from Guam. His little chap, Moe, is he called? Murray.

Murray. And he had to sort of say he found her very attractive and she seemed to reciprocate the... Yeah. And that seemed like, oh, this has gone beyond a joke almost because she seems almost interested in him. Brandy from Guam walked. Yeah, well, once has gone beyond a joke almost because she seems almost interested. Brandy from Guam walked. Yeah, well, once he started hitting on her, yeah.

Well, what girl wouldn't want to hear a song written about her on the spot in a Sam Ash on Long Island? It's the most romantic possible situation. Yeah, Brandy from Guam was great. And she was one that, again, the network, the old regime, was just like, that's not funny. Why is that funny? And we're like, are you fucking kidding me? It's just bizarre and weird.

Why are you a suit? Because you have a sense of humor? No. Just fucking write the check, cunt. You can't say that. That's why you have to hire someone to say it for you. Oh, yeah. But if he says it in a Scottish accent,

it has so much more power. Yeah, that's why we have so much network presence. But now I want to hear the shit. Yeah. Okay. Someone's had to throw in a punch. We had, well, no, the worst we've ever had was a guy. We were doing one of those focus group bits that we do.

And those are great. They're great. We love those. Anytime we get to come up with a fake product, we're so happy because then our imagination goes into overdrive. But it was one of those things. And this guy who seemed a little off in it during it, what he found out, and it was a shit. You know how, look, sometimes you go. Like, we'll shoot for eight hours until you get a two-minute bit.

Yeah. Which means that there's a lot of shit that ends up on the floor that sucks. You'll go three, four times, and you won't get anything funny because you suck because the mark isn't well. So this guy went, and it was my turn, and I couldn't even get anything going. Just whatever. I was out of it. So it wasn't even a funny bit. I get anything going. Just whatever. I was out of it. So it wasn't even a funny bit. I didn't say anything that outrageous.

It was kind of dead the whole way through. We told the guy that he was at a hidden camera show. Slams the table without saying a word. Walks over, kicks a glass door and the glass shatters. And he just walks out into the night. And we were just like. I didn't say anything. It was a dud bit.

So I think that it's not... What you're talking about is somebody getting angry at us. It's just like we don't do anything to get people angry. It's just a fucking lunatic. Well, no, bullshit. When you make someone go to a buffet

and start picking off someone else's plate as their... Yeah, people were getting pissed off in that one. Yeah, mostly at Sal because Sal doesn't exude any confidence or anything or bits like that. But Joe was singing and dancing and shit like that and he got the food right off.

You're eating off of people's plates. That was one I refused to do on Spy TV because I was too chicken shit. I'm not being paid. Just go up on Venice Beach and start eating shit off of people's plates. No, I don't want to get hit. I'm not being paid. Just go up on Venice Beach and start eating shit off of people's plates. No, I don't want to get hit. I'm a coward.

Yeah, it's hard too because I'm always afraid because in season one I dove my face into someone's plate. I saw that, yeah. And I was like, do I have herpes now? It's so disgusting

to be eating other people's food. You're in the wrong house to be worried about that, sir. I mean, I'm just... Well, it turns out that I did. I did. I had it. It was great. It was fantastic, so welcome home, me. Yeah, that worries me about...

Sal is going to get here around midnight, and he is obsessive-compulsive, germ-phobia, hates cats. I have a cat that will jump up into his arms. It's going to freak him out. Yeah. He might not get here as soon as you think he is because Sal doesn't function very well as an adult. He needs someone to hold his hand through everything.

So I'm sort of curious to see how the walking out of an airport, renting a car, and driving here goes. Even though it's almost a straight line from the airport to the place. It's a pretty easy drive till you get to Bisbee. Then it's all fucked up. I don't have a lot of faith in his abilities to navigate it, to be honest with you. That's why I have my phone on during the podcast.

So where are we now in this sort of gestation period or whatever of the Impractical Jokers? What's next? I mean, how many? Well, season three is airing now and we're shooting until September and then we'll be done with the third season but we're signed

for five seasons. Oh, really? Nice. Yeah, but I mean that's their option to make it. That doesn't mean, of course, that we're going to have five seasons. Oh, they'll take it after this podcast. Yeah, I think so. After Doug's been calling them a shit network for the past half hour. I do tweet it too No I'm going right ahead

They have a good sense of humor about it over there The new regime is really good Again it's like making fun of white people Or lawyers Make fun of us We own you Exactly We get high ratings for fucking pawns what is a pawn

fucking do they ever have network get togethers where you meet all the other people not really just I met the guys from lizard like a few months ago lizard lick it's a towing show yeah it's a towing show that is a if you look up the finest

print that you can find on the internet it's recreations of stories dead of dubious integrity. But they make it look like it's happening in real life. And you go, wow, that guy's gonna punch the towing guy.

Has any bright spark in the network ever asked you to integrate other people from other shows into your show? Shaquille O'Neal has a show on the network. asked you to integrate other people from other shows into your show? Shaquille O'Neal has a show on the network. Last year we did some commercials with him. Oh, did you?

We're going to take callers over here. Does anyone have any questions? Here we go. Junior Stopka! What's it like being famous? Yeah, that's true. What's it like?

I mean, I wouldn't say I'm famous. But to the extent that how often are you recognized that it kills the gag? Because you have been on three seasons. It happens. That's why we shoot in Manhattan so much, because there's 8 million people in Manhattan. So when it does, that happens all the time now. And they're erudite and upbeat,

and they never watch true TV. What's that? They're erudite and they don't watch true TV. He uses big words. Don't listen to him. No, I got it. I got it. Just blow them off.

The accent threw me off. Yeah, they haven't watched it, or some parts of Manhattan don't even get true TV. So there's just a lot of averages as nobody knows who we are. When we did Hidden Camera in LA, so many people were so industry savvy that you'd say it's a hidden camera gag

and they'd go, well, I can't. I have an agent. Or they'd go, I want money. Yeah, we got a lot of lawyers who are like, I don't sign anything. Do you ever do anything outside of there? I know you have some. Like what? Outside of Manhattan, like go into the

fucking world. Oh, sure, we just shot a whole episode in Texas. Nice, nice. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And then, yeah, we go to Staten Island sometimes. Jersey, we're in a lot. Jersey Gardens Mall. So, yeah, we go wherever. It's such a low budget show that we basically go where we can get as cheap as possible.

Yeah. What about the aspects of the show where you're making one of your group feel terrible? Like that time you did the OCD thing with Sal in his house. Yeah. And then the thing with Murray making him jump. Yeah, in front of the plane. He looked genuinely terrified.

Fuck him. Fuck him. He made me teach my parents sex head. He kept on going fuck himself. He was crying. Good. Which one? Murray.

Yeah, dude. We threw him out of a plane. Thank you. Unless you've seen this. It was one of the new ones. It was like two episodes ago or three episodes ago. Yeah. But no, I don't give a shit.

I can't wait to do worse things to him. I can't wait to fuck him up. I remember, Murray, you had him set up where he had to go out in front of his old high school. Give a lie detector test. Yeah, but you have him. You tell me. We went back to our old high school because we. But he's blindfolded or whatever.

He has no idea where he is. He knows he's taking a lie detector test. I don't even know if he knew that. We blindfolded him. We sat him down. He was attached to the lie detector test. And it's one of these old. Like, it's the guy who does it is the guy who does all the Maury Povich one.

He's like an expert in it. And he brings us this antique machine. It looks awesome. And he rolls it out on stage and he straps Murray to it. And then we take the blindfold off and we're like, hey man, you got a lie detector test. And then the curtains open and they reveal he's on the stage of our old high school

with our old teachers and one of his ex-girlfriends and the whole senior class. Oh, his ex-girlfriend. Oh, that was fucking crushingfriend. Forget that part. Oh, that was fucking crushing. That was cringy. And we wrote the questions that he had to say

in front of everybody, nuns, because we went to a Catholic high school. So, you know, he tried to lie, but we found out that he fucked a teddy bear to completion, that he cheated on his girlfriend who was his ex-girlfriend who was there, Tara.

Sitting there. Did that involve the teddy bear? Was that counted? No, no. Two separate incidents. All right. Yeah, he's off the rails. Serial offender.

Yes. Found out he got his back waxed, all this stuff in front of a bunch of kids. What's wrong with having your back waxed? Well, again, there is that New York element. There is that in comedy where New York comics

that you think are cool, but they still have that cunty edge of Norton and DiPaolo where they're sketchy about... Not Norton, but... But that's what makes it work for middle America. Sure. But the OCD shit,

putting Sal through piles of cow shit when you know he's a germaphobe. And you can see... He was literally tearing up at one point, and then angry. I thought he was going to fight. Yeah, he's a pussy. But you got him to a point

where he was violent that you did that to him. Yeah, that's why now if you see in the new season where things are getting worse and worse, like we said, we threw Murray out of a plane and we tied Joe up and dunked him in a water tank. Did you see the magician one? Oh yeah, the magician one.

Right, where we made him be an illusionist where we had to escape from a thing and we just dangled him in a water tank. Did you see the magician one? Oh, yeah, the magician one. Right, where we made him be an illusionist, where we had to escape from a thing, and we just dangled him in a tank. That was very embarrassing. Everything's ramping up, because like... Let's explain that for the audience, because otherwise it's too inside. Right, I'm sorry.

They put him on stage as he... They put who on stage? Joe Gatto. Joe, Murray, Sal, and Q. Those are the guys. Joe lost. It are the guys. Joe lost. It's a competition. Whoever fucks up the most pranks or doesn't complete the prank,

he gets a punishment at the end of the four. And Joe had to go out in a Las Vegas show or a casino show. It was an Olympic city. Yeah, a casino show as a City. It was Atlantic City. Yeah, casino show as a magician. And they put him in. And that made me claustrophobic. They put him in a Houdini water. Straight jacket and a thing of water up to his chin.

The straight jacket chains, his legs and hands handcuffed. And then we put a hook to the back of it, dangled him over a water tank, and slowly loaded him into the water tank in front of like 500 or 1,000 people. And it's like these people thought they were going to see a genuine master magician. And then you saw this guy being loaded into a tank

and like flopping there. And then he can't get out. But they leave him there interminably. It was so long. So he's like, I can't get out. And then they just still leave him there. The lights go on.

People just start milling out. People are leaving there. Other people are like, this has to end, right? And then the guy comes sweeping up the stage and shit. And he's just sitting there. And you're left sitting there forever. That's fucking hilarious.

Right. So things are getting worse and worse because of these grudges that we're holding against each other for shit we've done. But that's the hidden camera I love, where you don't make someone look like a fucking asshole. You're the asshole. And they're embarrassed for you. It is. The joke, like we said, like the joke kind of pays off. If you tell me to say something horrible to this woman or even something funny to this woman, it's going to pay off twice because I'm going to hear it.

I'm going to react to it. So the audience gets that. And then if I do it, then they get the second joke, which is actually acting it out. So it's just, you know, we weren't that smart when we came up with this shit, Doug. It's not like we planned any of this. What is your personal favorite? Wait, I was going to say, what's the one that hurt you the worst or was the hardest to do? I mean, I already kind of

told the story about teaching my parents about sex ed. Really? That really fucked you up that much? Yeah. You don't understand my relationship with my parents. Evidently, your friends do. Yeah, they do. The one that made me laugh the hardest

was when I was presented as a photographer and I was presented as a photographer and I was presenting my own work. That was good. I had to pull the curtain away and describe what I was. And they sort of softballed me a little bit. They had a picture of me with the words highly contagious next to it. I was like, oh, I can explain that.

But as it went, it was me fucking a water buffalo with the word mother on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good one. Then me stepping on Chinese children like ready to crush them. Just the cutest Chinese kids in the world. Are you aware of all the Jimmy Kimmel shit? Jesus.

No, I don't even know what that is. What is Jimmy Kimmel shit? Who watches Network? Do you know that Jimmy Kimmel did a hidden camera, funny enough, with children. This is fucking ancient history Kimmel did a hidden camera, funny enough, with children. This is fucking ancient history. He did a hidden camera with children giving solutions to problems in the world.

And one of the children said, kill everyone in China. And this has become a major international incident. Why? Because reading between the lines, the Chinese government has made it one, and they are sending people to picket Burbank. You're so off-topic on this. I'm just saying it's a thing.

You're a wimp. You're drunk and you're off-topic. You had a story. I'm just giving Mr. I'm just giving Mr. Quinn a heads up that when it comes to the Chinese angle, you might want to back off. Vietnam, no political pressure. All right, so we can make fun of those.

Okay, got it. Got it. Ever felt physically threatened? No. You know, when the Hey Mustache guy, he was. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that guy was like really angry but he was older so i knew i could take him if it happened yeah but he was the shit they don't show on camera was in my face and like really really got angry like fucking what about your

cohorts your all right your fellow workers have you ever seen them in a position where you thought he's really fucked up by this yeah Yeah, we actually couldn't air the bit because it went so poorly, but Murray was working as a waiter and he was hitting on a girl. They were on a date and he was hitting on the girl and we kept telling him to hit on the girl. And the guy was just like,

he goes, if you say something again to her, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to kill you. And Murray's a petite man. Very, putting it kindly. Adorable. But he also doesn't know when to shut the fuck up because he walks back and we're like, all right, call it off, call it off, don't say anything more.

And Murray's like, no, what are you talking about? That's gold. That's going to be the gold part if he gets angry and stuff like that. So of course he pushes it, goes back, and that guy was up like a shot. And then Murray was like, no, it's a show and security game. And we never saw this? No, it wasn't funny. It was kind of no, it's a show and security. And we never saw this? No, it wasn't funny. It was kind of obnoxious.

All right, if you could take the show that is presented to television or take all the shit they wouldn't air and air that, which would you choose? I mean, I know what I... The show that I would like to make and air, the version of Impractical Jokers that I would make if I was left in charge, would not be a hit. Nobody would watch it.

Oh, no, no, no, yeah. It would be too fucked up and too weird. But would you rather have people see the show that True TV shows or the one that you would make True TV show? I think now they're kind of one and the same. I think the editing is pretty good right now. But obviously, I'm fine with it.

You can get away with so much more now on TV than a decade ago. I think I'm happy with the way the show is out. I know on radio, you go to do a radio spot to promote your show. Right. And during the break, you're, ah, yeah, fuck that new kind of... And you're dying laughing, and then you have to bring it back in

to give a censored, okay, and what are you going to be talking about this week at the Funny Bone? But we were just saying really funny shit during the break. I think that like a year ago, I would have said that I want to make the show that I want to make. But there's something to it.

You're getting away with some shit. Yeah, we are. And there's something to a well-oiled machine. You know what I mean? Like there's something to. Well, there's also something to increasing ratings where you must feel that. There is. Do you worry about that?

I don't worry about it too much because you watch it. There's nothing I could do really. know but do you like oh what's our nelson yeah fucking how many million things and yeah i never paid attention i didn't get it when we we're doing well enough that we don't i think we don't have to worry about getting reordered and that's pretty much at the end of the day all Because there's a ceiling with True TV, and that's not a slam at the network, but it's just like there's only so many viewers you're going to get on the network

because how many packages carry it? How many people know the network? How many people like the network? You know what I mean? And I think that's going to change. I think the new president is going to change a lot of that, but it's just like... So I think that for where we are

and for what we're doing, it's just like... What so that's i think that for where we are and for what we're doing it's just like the way you're making a living you're having fun having fun the ratings are great everybody's unless you lose right then that bullshit goes down have you ever found and you probably can't answer this honestly uh editing where they fuck with where it's not true and you go no because i know that that's something we're solid on no this is not yeah i mean well look there's basic editing tricks that that every fucking show that we'll do for this end of time uh sal and i especially tend to get upset if um they sent something to us to view that like even if they add booze i don't like it like uh like i did a break dancing thing where i had to break dance in front of the brooklyn cyclones and the first cut that they sent us added booze to the crowd and i was like why i was like it's not yeah there's not

a need for it like it's just bullshit and and even and it sounds fake to me and if it sounds sick to me it's gonna sound fake to someone else and i just don't want it so like manipulation of that type i don't like but if a woman gives a fucking funny look at when i said this line and they cut it in and said when i said that line to make it a punch the joke I don't care about that. I still said it. One of my first agents when I moved to L.A., Danny Robinson, said he went to Evening at the Improv, it was an old stand-up comedy weekly show,

and he was a huge laugher. Gaffaw, ha-ha. And they filmed him and they put him laughing in like a million different shows where he wasn't in attendance right just to boost up that

community laughing find a good laugher in the audience so I don't I know you work for a scam network right well there you go I know you can for a scam network. Right, well, there you go. I know, you can't say too much. No, it's all right.

I would shoot straight with you, Doug. I wouldn't even cover it up. Bingo and I are like, that's what we do when we watch reality TV. We find the fucking scam. Like Mystery Diners or something. Oh, we're're gonna catch the it's like the biggest bullshit like how dumb do you think people are yeah i think in true's case so like they did anybody ever think their shows were real like weren't didn't they make their shows so fucking dumb that people knew they were fake like i, I thought that was the way it was. But no, that's because you hang around

with other people of your ilk. Right. And you forget that the masses of the middle of America vote and don't think. And they go, oh, I saw that thing. Did you see that fucking tow truck driver get hit? Oh, shit, that was fucking nuts is there anything true on true tv um i don't i don't watch uh besides us probably probably not my panic

button probably is but i don't know how well it's doing but we get us we watch for the scam we watch for the edit and how they make it look like it did this. And that's why we loved you. Because it was fucking. If there's a fucking scam. No. Bingo is like she'll catch shit and go, oh, wait, the guy that was stealing the keg on Mystery Diners. They have a security camera on this side where he's stealing the keg and it's tapped. But on the other side, the other security camera on the outside, it doesn't have a tap.

We look for detail. We just watch things to hate shit. But more importantly, what differentiates your show is that, again, in terms of, for want of a better word, the casting. You don't feel like you've been cast. Well, we weren't cast, right? Exactly. And every single reality show feels like it's been cast. And the audiences are not dumb.

They're, you know, okay, a lot of them are very dumb. But people... But we're not dumb. People can detect the difference. That's an issue they've run into. They've sold Impractical Jokers all over the world. There's like 14 different versions of it in other countries. Do you get money on that?

They tell me I do. I saw one check two and a half years ago. I've seen your girlfriend. You're getting money off of it. Have you spoken to Harvey Altman? No, no, no, no. Plug. Harvey Altman?

Who's Harvey Altman? This podcast sponsored by Harvey Altman. Accountant to the stars. Yeah. Well, I could use him. Is he here? I'll get my taxes. No, no. He's in New York. Oh, shit. Right down the street from you. Really? He's the guy and his son that you want. Really? Yeah. Well, I could use him. Is he here? I'll get my taxes. No, no. He's in New York. Oh, shit. Right down the street from you.

Really? He's the guy and his son that you want. Really? Yeah. Who do they want? Tell me how I can get in touch with him. Harvey Altman. How can I get in touch with Harvey Altman?

We'll put you in touch with Harvey Altman. Oh, I found this thing. For $9.99 a month, you can get Google. Yeah. Okay. Did I get scammed? Did I get scammed? And then you can look up Harvey

and Russell Altman, both of them, in the same Google search. You walk into his room. His whole office is lined with every comic you've ever known. He's got a better 8x10 selection than

Caroline's. It's like, holy fuck. Because they're smiling in his pictures at Caroline's. Really? It's like, holy fuck. Because they're smiling in his pictures at Caroline's. Everyone's going, fucking tourists. Even if they're smiling in the headshot. Those pictures of Harry Potter that just fucking look down on everybody. The point is, if you were to make your way to

Harvey Altman, you'd be a happier man. Okay. Yeah. How much money do you have on you? I just lost 100 bucks to that fucking poker game. That's in my pocket. Yeah, that's in your pocket. That all was in your pocket.

Don't worry. Chicken drop. We have chicken drop tomorrow. By the way, you're not carrying anything going back north, are you? No, no. You mean money? No. No, I don't mean money.

We're at 45. Coyote? Wait, wait, wait. We'll get back to that in a second. When I first started talking to Sal on Twitter and then we got on the phone. Right. Bingo. I tried to put you on the phone with Sal, and you were so enamored that...

I screamed. You were screaming, and you wouldn't get on the phone. I don't get that way with famous people ever. Like fucking Ed Sullivan. That was me. That was me. Sal wasn't on the phone. Yes, because I was excited about that.

No, I remember. Either way, she wouldn't get on the phone, and I held the phone up so you could hear her screaming. And then I don't know how bingo after that started. Well, you texted me that night, right? You were like, I'm sorry that you were screaming. I was too shy. Yeah, right.

Right. But I put him in my phone as baloney cheeks. How did you get baloney cheeks? I don't know. I remember you pitching ideas. There's not a story behind it. I just call him baloney cheeks. It was like a writer's room.

Should I get one of them? But that's what I call you to stand up. I think I might have come up with baloney cheeks. So you called me to me. You're like, morning, baloney cheeks. Yeah, I don't call you baloney cheeks. She somehow came up with that nickname come up with baloney cheeks. So you called me to me. You're like, morning baloney cheeks. She somehow came up with that nickname for you, baloney cheeks. And then started texting you

every day. She'll send jokes to me. Children's jokes. And then how often do I repeat Big O's jokes? All the time. I just read them to the crew. We just have a good time. When we leave this podcast, I will show you

the joke books that we've bought her. I love that. 5,600 jokes about nothing that we've bought her. She'll walk around and ask. She pitches the jokes to us. I love that.

Give me an example. Can you think of one joke? They're the dumbest jokes. Hang on. The booger one. You do it. No, I haven't used that one. Can you remember? I forget them all.

Chaley's got one. I just heard this one today. What's the difference between boogers and broccoli Kids eat boogers That's the level That level of dumb But she does this relentlessly to him And at some point

In one of the episodes Where you're doing a focus group You chucked a baloney Cheeks reference into a show, knowing that bingo. Yeah, I did it for her. The point is, season three, you threw a Baloney Cheeks episode. A Baloney Cheeks. Oh, Jesus. How drunk am I?

Reference. Reference. Yeah. Into a gag that Sal had to say baloney cheeks and fucking bingo went out of her mind

like someone brought her a giant cardboard check. Nobody would believe me. No, I came up. I gave him that name. Nobody would believe me. Well, I can confirm it now. You can play it for anybody that it is baloney cheeks is from you

and it was a little reference and shout out to you. Anyway, we should wrap up with Sal tomorrow. We'll just get him and we'll fuck with him. We'll figure out something to fuck with him. Can we get him drunk first? Because I feel like I'm giving a real poor showing with all the alcohol I've had today. Are you kidding? We don't have real guests. No, absolutely. Can we get him drunk first? Because I feel like I'm giving a real poor showing with all the alcohol I've had today. Fuck it. Are you kidding?

We don't have real guests. Right. No. Absolutely. We'd have to talk to Junior for a long time. We had him. We had him on What Say You. He fucking killed it, man.

People loved that episode. What say you? What's our podcast, Sal and I? Oh, you did his podcast? Yeah. What the fuck? Without checking with me? Junior.

I own you, Junior. What the fuck? He killed it.? I own you, Junior! What the fuck? He killed it. He did great. Fucking hell. Jesus. Your podcast, plug your shit. Your podcast. The podcast Al and I do called What Say You

just won the Stitcher Award for Best New Podcast. What Say You. Best New Podcast by Stitcher. Which is phenomenal for us. I'll speak to Stitcher about that. Yeah? Best new podcast by Stitcher. Yeah. Which is phenomenal for us. I'll speak to Stitcher about that. Yeah, we'll talk to Stitcher. So yeah, that we won this week. So we're doing pretty good.

We're happy with that. Yeah. That's great. You can. Junior, you can take credit. Yeah. Good. You killed it.

All right. Well, I hope you're all happy. All right. So we'll get Sal a little fucked up tomorrow and then get him on here. Yeah. And if you do want to talk to Harvey Altman, he's on 212-867-3580.

There we go. Harvey Altman. Harvey Altman, accountant to the almost stars. No, no. Is he a fucking like Chris Rock and everyone? You walk in and go, oh, will you please be my accountant? Do I have to audition? Because I see all the people on your wall of

fame. No, no. The people we had to audition for was Eric Greenspan. We didn't really have to. You're drifting. We're trying to close. Close it. Shut up. Stop talking then. Ladies and gentlemen, watch Impractical Jokers.

Yes, please. Please do. On TruTV. Yes, Thursdays at 10. We look Thursdays at 10 or just DVR it, and we have like 62 episodes? Yeah, we have a lot of episodes. You will read the description and think,

I won't like this and be wrong. No, you'll see the commercials and think you won't like this and be wrong no you'll see the commercials and think you won't like it they do make cheesy ass commercials yeah they're cheesy my favorite one they try and sell us is some sort of fucking sex symbol where I'm just like we're the fattest grossest like pieces of shit

no you are well no us but you are the fattest and grossest Sal's fatter than me. Sal's fatter than me. Really? But he's adorable. God, he's fucking adorable. If you want to go by adorable, go ahead.

He's fucking adorable. But Joe and Murr don't have any hair. So it's like, listen, what do we do? You know what? There is a... Let's get to this. Let's get to it. There is a fucking you and Sal.

Right. And Joe and Murr. Those are the guys that kind of hang out together. Well, Sal and I still live on Staten Island. There's a schism, as Andy Andrist would say. If he could speak. There is. Well, Sal and I live close together, and those guys live close together, so it's like that.

But I've never had an argument with Joe where Sal and I have gotten into fucking knockdown drag outs. Really? Oh, God. About what? got into fucking knockdown drag outs. Really? About what? Well, what happened last time is one of our writers, you guys know how writers' rooms are, right?

What? Writers' room. That was another question I had. Right. Okay, everybody sort of sits around a joke, and I had made a joke, and I say this. My sister-in-law is Japanese, but like off-the-boat Japanese. She speaks with the accent

all stuff and my nieces and nephews are half and half so i made a joke about them i always joke about them being japanese and stuff like that in the writer's room and one of the writers was japanese and sal was just like should have said that in front of him but i was just like what the fuck are you talking about and it just it was just you know how dudes is this like a switch thrown and like logic just goes out the window and then you're just arguing and arguing and it starts going to like fuck you really fuck me fuck you motherfucker fuck shit like that stupid no i don't understand that uh it's a new york thing i guess you got it all right yeah um so it's just like it's just stupid switches like that but we for the amount of time

that the four of us are together which is really almost seven days a week if you had to fuck one of the impractical jokers

right Murray probably Murray make love make love oh make love not Murray I'd hate fuck Murray

for sure there's a whole lot of kissing and tenderness and you work your way down over the breast, down to the inner thigh. Wait a second. Sal. That kind of...

Sal. Barbara Streisand's playing Sal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's sort of... He's adorable, like you said. Yeah, he is fucking adorable. Murray's adorable to look at Joe fuck that guy

that guy's a stockbroker that guy's the wolf of Wall Street if he could have been keep going with it stick that landing they don't follow me on Twitter fuck them they probably do now I'd be surprised if they do Stick that landing. They don't follow me on Twitter. Fuck them.

They don't really? They probably do now. I'd be surprised if they did. No, they don't. No, back in the day they didn't. Yeah, it's all right. James doesn't follow what say on Twitter. Murray doesn't. You don't set up shit where, oh, okay,

if someone lost the thing several weeks in a row, you don't ever go, oh, it's time to make that guy lose. Well, no, you could just switch the order of the episodes around and whatnot. You never rig anything a little. Yes, you do.

Don't say it. When you say rig, we'll talk about this. You could shoot. Let's say you tell me to walk up to that woman and pull that hat over her eyes, and I do it. But it's not funny. You're really sort of winning based on the funniest bits in the episode. We're not going to air something that's boring just because I won.

But if the next one I pull the hat down over someone's eyes. It's not like baseball where they, oh, they're on steroids. Right, right. They're cheating. No one cares. But do you have to ever balance it out where you go, okay, listen, he's been the biggest

loser for fucking four episodes in a row. I think what they'll do then is just swap some footage. Well, make Sal say nigger to somebody. I'll go, no, thumbs down. He actually did that, though. He won that one when we told him that.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No way. That's Q from Impractical Jokers. It's an honor to be here. Thank you. Thank you very much Wow Wow I love it, I love it so much

Alright Q from Impractical Jokers We fucking love you We're starstruck that you're here And it's fantastic That's it, we'll see you next week With Sal Play the Matoid you're here and it's fantastic. That's it. We'll see you next week with Sal. Play the matoid.

You've been listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast, recorded live in the Funhouse in Bisbee, Arizona, with Doug Stanhope, Brian Quinn from the Practical Jokers, Junior Stropka, Brian Hennigan, Bingo, and Greg Shaley. Engineered and produced by me, Shaley. This podcast sponsored by Harvey Altman, CPA. Accountant to the stars. Opening song by Mishka Shubale. Party time by The Mattoys.

Both available on iTunes. Check out the new season of The Practical Jokers, Thursdays at 10 on True TV. And take a listen to Quinn and Sal's podcast, What Say You? Just voted best new podcast on Stitcher. Find out about all of Doug's upcoming tour dates by joining the mailing list at dougstandhope.com. Thanks for listening. Dance your dance and shoe your shoes.

It's party time. Howl your howls and suck your socks. It's party time. Yeah. Oh, baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time. Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time. Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time. One more Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks, it's party time

Here we go Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time

Party time Party time Party time Party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, hey! Party time, yeah! Party time!