The Doug Stanhope Podcast - EPISODE #24: Frosti Gnarr and Jonathan Larroquette

Episode Date: April 14, 2014

Doug welcomes Frosti Gnarr, the son of the Mayor of Iceland's capital city Reykjavík, and Jonathan Larroquette, 'Uhh Yeah Dude' Podcast, to the Fun House. Doug and Bingo met Frosti on a trip to perform at Reykjavík's prison. Jonathan adds some of his own Icelandic experiences.This podcast sponsored by ORA GREEN BEANS. Available in Iceland.Recorded Mar 20, 2014 in the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope, Frosti Gnarr, Jonathan Larroquette, Chad Shank and Bingo. Produced and Edited by Greg Chaille @gregchaille.  Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song by Fufanu.Take a moment to signup for the mailinglist at dougstanhope.com.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. Hey, this is the Doug Stanhope Podcast. On this podcast we have Bingo and Chad Shank hosting our friend Frosty Gnar from Reykjavik, Iceland, has dropped in with Jonathan Larroquette, who will pop in and out. And here goes. All right.

The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores have closed I heard you change your name again but don't you change your hair

it was the only thing I liked about you in the end. La, la, la. Well, actually, it was Shawnee who will probably be by later. Gretchen, you saw her artwork. Oh, yeah. That was cool as shit.

We went into Old Bisbee today and Gretchen Bear is a painter. Has painted a lot of bingo. I don't know if that's her studio. It's the major location, location, location spot.

Gallery in the window is a fucking eight foot painting of bingo. Two of them. Two, yeah. But we have one huge one, which we got out-of-town company here. We get the Frosty Gnarr. It's Gnarr.

Perfect pronunciation. Perfect pronunciation. You've got it. You've so got it. G-N-A-R-R. How do you pronounce it? Gnar. Gnar.

Yeah, not when you go to Iceland. Gnar. Oh, you have to put a... Gnar. Gnar, okay. Gnar. Hard R's. That sounds way cooler.

Hard R's. Hard R's? Yeah. Yeah, so Frosty Gnar Go back to Gretchen Anyway Go back to Gretchen Frosty Gnar

Gnar Yeah, you got it That sounds almost as cool as Shank Gnar Gretchen and Shawnee are good friends here in Bisbee And at some point a a few years ago, Shawnee came over. He was doing some work, and he said,

Gretchen and I were thinking a cool place to go for Christmas would be Iceland. It just seems like... And I said, yeah, I just read a story where a comedian got elected as the mayor of Reykjavik. Let me see if I can find out more,

because Iceland does sound like a really fucking cool place to go. So I looked him up, and I found what seemed to be a government website. It was all in Icelandic. But there was a link for an email. So I emailed some goofy, hey, I think we need to have some kind of diplomatic fucking meeting. And I got an email back going, hey, it's very strange. Because he had evidently seen my Charlie Brooker stuff in the UK.

And I just got turned on to you. And I don't think there's such thing as coincidence. So, yeah, we booked a flight to Iceland. We fuck off Shawnee and Gretchen. We're not going to Christmas. That's just dumb. It's cold as shit.

We're going in September. And, yeah, we went over and met with John Gahr. I got it right here. Thanks. Yeah, I quit smoking, by the way. But sometimes that's the key to quitting smoking, people,

is if you really need a cigarette, smoke a cigarette, and then go back to quitting. It fucking works. Otherwise, you just go, oh, I failed. I quit for 11 days, but then I broke down. And then you just start buying packs. Well, just fucking, yeah, okay, I broke down for a day. And then you go back to quitting.

That's how I've quit for over a month is by smoking cigarettes. We show up in fucking Reykjavik. We're a mess. We had just done a vacation with neighbor Dave and Evelyn in North Carolina. Or already polluted. Show up. The fucking mayor. Frosty here.

Your dad. Yeah. Dad and son, meet us at the airport in fucking monkey masks. Monkey outfits. Gorilla masks. Gorilla masks. That's how we get picked up. Holding a sign with our name

like they're our drivers. It was fucking brilliant. Zipped us off to a breakfast. With this bad spelling, if I may add. It was dog. Dog Stanhope. I didn't, you know,

that would have been a great cunt move. It's like, dude, no. There's a you in it. Anyway, so yeah, they whisked us off to... How do you pronounce the prison? Lytle Rhône. Lytle Rhône. That was close.

That was fucking close very close yeah did a good job did a show for the prisoners miserable horrible I thought

you know I'll just do all my old basic dick jokes like the simplest stuff and then I went up and I go I'd start doing them I go I don't remember how they go

this is just a basic fucking blowjob story I'm stumbling through I had nothing but your show was bad but the prison was amazing This is just a basic fucking blowjob story. I'm stumbling through it. I had nothing. But your show was bad, but the prison was amazing. The prison is fucking fantastic. Just such an example of everything that the world should... I mean, the Scandinavian countries mostly have the same template

and a really low rate of recidivism oh i'm not that drunk am i ah recidivism can do it twice in a row uh but yeah the the prisoners explain the describe it well first of all we're like dorms we were carted around into all these dorms that seemed great by someone who we thought worked there. And he ends up being a murderer. He's a prisoner. He's a murderer. So it was like maximum security. It wasn't like a soft prison.

Their only maximum security prison, and it had 84 inmates total in dorms. It's like a college. Better than a college, probably. You could have computers, books. They could read. They could write. They had a stainless steel table that they would prepare their own meals on with butcher knives, but on a cord like a pen in a bank, so you couldn't get it more than a foot from the table.

If you're going to have a knife fight, you have to do it real close to the celery. But that's the only thing that seemed like a prison was the knives being... They were playing not Wii golf, but some kind of giant screen video game. And they were all so incredibly kind to us. They were so happy we were there.

It was awesome. That's really amazing. I shipped them a box of jerseys. Sorry, I'm chewing ice into a mic. I want to fucking kill myself from my own car listening to that. Sorry. And the present they gave us? Should I go grab that? Oh yeah I brought it out last night

If you want to go get that thing Yeah I do Chaley will edit around it Okay so They treat even psychopaths and murderers like people Yeah and they're all doing college courses And everyone's cool It's pretty humane progressive yeah

well you gotta keep in mind first of all iceland is smaller than tucson there's like 330 000 people so it's a fucking community that's's the problem with America and centralized government, where you're trying to treat how many fucking million are we up to? 350 million. What's the largest ruling? The mayor? How much of the stuff does your dad rule over? The whole thing?

Is there, like, you know what I mean? He's the mayor of the capital, which is by far the largest. Yeah, way larger. And he started his own political party at the time. Iceland, you might want to have the details on this, but they, they,

they're economic. They plunged into the fucking toilet so hard. It was all banking. I don't understand the whole thing, but they lost their ass. And everyone was like, what is Greece and Spain are going through now, basically. So he was a comedian. Fucking hilarious.

Tell me the names of the series, because they're in Icelandic. But it's Night Shift, Day Shift, Night Shift, and Prison Shift, right? Prison Shift, yeah. But say it in Icelandic, because that's the real names, and it's cool. Nighturvachtin, Dauvachtin, Faunkavachtin. So you get to do a lot of that. That's very cool.

People will play that while they fuck. Yeah. Such a sexy language. I'm all over the fucking map with this whole story. Okay, so here's this. Okay, so we show up at the prison. They present us with gifts. The prison has merch.

They had t-shirts. A mug? With a slogan about their prison. Like they're promoting their prison. For visitors? Yeah. Which they should. And they wrote this.

This is in calligraphy. Remind me to get a picture of this, Derek, because Chaley will want it to put as a thumbnail. It says, Dear Doug Stanhope, 25th of September, 2011. Dear Doug Stanhope, our initial idea of showing you our gratitude for your visiting us prisoners here at Lytlehorn was to give you a t-shirt with the inscription I went to prison in Iceland

to do stand-up and all they gave me was this lousy t-shirt which they gagged me with while fucking me in the ass. This idea was however deemed inappropriate so you get this nice card instead.

This is handwritten in fucking the most beautiful calligraphy. They give us a t-shirt. I did stand up in a half-court basketball gymnasium with folding chairs to a bunch of people just happy someone stopped by.

Yeah. They were so nice to us. And I was fresh off the plane. We get off at like six in the morning. Gorilla masks. The mayor of Reykjavik and his kid in gorilla masks take us to breakfast. We had cocktails. We had more

cocktails in the car on the way to the prison. Out on some fucking volcanic tundra. And then spent four days just drinking cocktails. And we got to go to... What was... Where did he take us?

Where fucking Gorbachev and Reagan... Yeah, Havadi. Yeah, it's called Havadi. It's the house where they did the... What was it called? I don't know. Summit? Yeah, it was a big fucking summit where they...

Summit? Yeah. it was a big fucking summit where they... Summit? Yeah. It was some kind of... It was a big fucking deal. I thought it had a name. But we took pictures in the chairs that Gorbachev and Reagan sat in. We goofed off. They gave us presents.

Bingo traded out shoes with... I don't even know who that woman was. I don't know who she was. She was really beautiful, but she loved my, it was Converse high top boots. Like wrestling high top. High high, new high. Calf high.

And she loved my boots so much. So I said, oh, okay, I'll give you these boots and find something cool and we'll trade. So she got buttons from this place where we're at whatever the hofty house from the hofty house yeah so we got buttons from the hofty house and a little matches i think there were matches i mean why would you have matches a caricature uh a bunch of condoms hofty house condoms and then she takes me into another room and all she does was show me something and says, do you know what this is?

She pulled it to you. And then she wraps it in tinfoil. And she's like, do you know what this is? And I'm like, well, yes, I know what this is. Thank you very much. I'll put it in the bag. Let's get the fuck out of here. So anyway.

Mushrooms. We've got mushrooms. We've got mushrooms. We've got mushrooms. From the fucking elite. It was some governmental person. I don't know, city council, whatever. Just gave us.

Yeah, she's one of the people from city council. Yeah, yeah. Gave us mushrooms. This is cool, but we're not going to fly with them. So the last night, I'm like, we've got to take mushrooms. I'm not in the mood. We're very well hung over. But we have to.

The fucking mayor's team gave us mushrooms in the fucking room that Gorbachev and fucking Reagan held there. We had to do it. So we chew these down. And it's so hard for me to eat mushrooms anyway. And we had some lunch meat. We're eating, I think, ham, sliced ham. You were like roughly in bread also. Yeah. Was had some lunch meat. I think it was ham. Sliced ham. You were like roughing in bread also. Was it bread?

Yeah. I don't know. We ate a ton of mushrooms. Just choking these fucking things down. And we told Frosty here he was coming over to the hotel and we saved some for him. And he shows

up and we go here is I don't know if they're any good there's nothing kicking in for us yet and he's he says that is not mushrooms they hand me the fucking plate and I

smell the thing and I'm like there's just no way these are mushrooms. This is sage. And I said, what the fuck is sage? So he's like, it's potpourri. It's fucking potpourri. You just ate a bunch of potpourri. But she gave it to us in such a fashion,

like with a wink and a nudge. Down low. Yeah. So we sat there eating fucking potpourri. And then offer it to him. Hey, you want to trip your balls off with us?

Yeah, here's or rub a chicken or bless a house. Multiple uses for sage. And we were going to get gay married. That was, again, one of those great ideas that's still on. You actually, in the middle of the night, while Frosty and us were drinking,

you called up John Narr and asked for Frosty's hand in marriage at a bar. Well, because gay marriage, as it still is, was an issue here. But over there, the prime minister, so lesbian who's gay married to a chick. And I go, let's see if we can get gay married here. If we can try to use that as like for clout where I get citizenship here and I can see if we can get gay married here, if we can try to use that as like for clout where I get citizenship here and I can see if we can get you citizenship there and just try to make a fucking spectacle out of it.

It's still a great idea. I just don't get around to shit. When do you have time to like go to Iceland and get gay married? Like between gigs, like death pool. It's one of those things. Tomorrow in Visbee downtown. We can get gay married.

It's civil union, though. Yeah. It doesn't carry much. Only in Bisbee. Bisbee was the... It's a redneck state, but Bisbee passed a gay civil union ordinance, which is all just... What do they say? Uh,

window dressing. Yeah. I think you get, uh, you can go to the pool. Yeah. It's good. The public pool.

You can get two for one. I think that's that. And getting buried together at a cemetery. I think the two things you actually get. That's what I read in the paper. Yeah. I don't know what the ramifications. Maybe we do civil union. Yeah.

We've been engaged for a few years. It's about time. I would attend. I'm all into it. It means day drinking again. It means smoking more cigarettes. All right. Well, it's on.

Yeah, I think it's definitely on. I mean, it was such a funny moment, though, being at this bar discussing this and being like, Oh, it would be fucking amazing because we can be like on a gay parade float. Being like Doug Stanoff and Frosty like these long haired blonde dudes like waving the crowds and then being so amped about it like calling my

parents in the middle of the night waking them up and being like mom I need you to talk to Doug we're kind of engaged now and he would like for you to give my hand in marriage. He said that I would

be adopted, that I would have to be adopted. Oh yeah, yeah, we were going to adopt Bingo as our kid. Yeah, so Frosty, I would be your daughter. Which I'm totally... Bingo has two daddies. Who's your daddy? I love this video Both of you

Tomorrow For sure Oh shit So Yeah We'll see if we can make that happen tomorrow Yeah We're supposed to shoot guns too

But That can be the after party Yeah Yeah Get married Get hitched Yeah And shoot some guns

Do some fucking Islamic Shoot guns in the after party yeah yeah get married get hitched yeah and shoot some guns do some fucking islamic yeah oh yeah i want to be there for that you're uh i remember the first night we went to your well i don't know if it's your house did you were you living with your dad and no i wasn't no and your mom i'm assuming yeah yeah i don't know if it's your house. Were you living with your dad? No, I wasn't. And your mom, I'm assuming? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

Well, you know, once a guy gets fucking drunk with power, he's the mayor of Reykjavik. That might have been some new fucking sluice from the street. Worn up a little bit. Yeah. I remember smoking out the window. You don't have to go outside You can smoke out the window But you know they didn't mean it

You and John Gnarr and Brian Oh fuck Hennigan was there Brian was with us And you talked to John Gnarr And created this thing where You guys would just start talking in Icelandic And I would never know Oh yeah just to fuck with bingo We'd just talking in Icelandic and I would never know this. Oh, yeah, just to fuck with bingo.

We'd just make up Icelandic language. Everyone but bingo was in on it. Like everybody else picked it up already. Yeah, we got... And I'm like... And they go... What the fuck? I'm serious.

What the fuck? I'm serious. So your dad is now about to step down. He's been mayor since 10? Yeah. Yeah, he's been... Four years. Yeah, it's a four-year term. So in June, we were trying to plan something

with one of my favorite bands ever. It's Molotov Jukebox. Yeah. We talked about going to Iceland and trying to do something like Bon Voyage. Thanks for your time. Our own personal festival.

It's one of those things. If I like put this if i plan it and then i wake up and go oh fuck i have to do it it's like booking travel i book all these dumb trips when i'm drunk and you already bought the tickets and now you have to say this isn't so much harder than flying to australia no he does go but it's like how do you figuring out all this shit like work permits and visa. I don't know how to do that. There's no money in it.

I don't know. A band has fucking – they have sometimes eight people in their band. I don't know. I can't fly eight people on no money. Right. It's so much easier doing comedy. It's just you. Fuck everyone else. I'm going on tour now. I's so much easier doing comedy. It's just you. Fuck everyone else. I'm going on tour

now. I'm not even bringing Junior. I'm just going by myself. A band where you have to just and share the pot? Fuck that. You're in the wrong business, Frosty. What's the name of your band? Do you have a band now? Yeah, it's called Fufanu.

Spell it for the people. F-U-F-A-N-U. All right. We should bring him in and take him out on the podcast with that. Yeah, Chaley will find that. Okay, yeah. Is it on iTunes? You got anything on iTunes?

No. YouTube? You'll get us to it. Yeah, get it to you. Because we'll take you in and bring you out. Okay, very cool. You'll get us to it Yeah Get it to you Cause we'll take you in And bring you out Okay Very cool Don't worry Don't let dead air scare you

It all just disappears And then we'll edit I don't know why Everybody's looking at me Like I was supposed to say so You were kind of like gasping Like you were scared Well no fat

Dead air Fat so I gasp sometimes Just being out of shape Yeah Just to breathe so why the fuck are you here acting john is like oh yeah yeah no i i feel you yeah yeah yeah yeah frosty why are you here right yeah why the fuck are you here i haven't even asked you this off the air it's what a horrible host i am i don't even have interest in why you're in my fucking country. I'm just traveling around.

I'm just seeing the place. Tell them what you did. I went on a Greyhound bus from Washington, D.C. to L.A. 73 hours. Well, that's seeing America. Jesus, Frosty. That's not our best side, man.

No, I was really into it. I was like really into it. You'd have to be. Straight no brakes. No, it's a million brakes. But the brakes are like the longest ones are like an hour and 10 minutes, 20 minutes. That's the longest brake you'll take. So you have to be there. Have you ever ridden

Greyhound? It's more brakes than riding. What's worse longest break you'll take. So you have to be there. Have you ever ridden Greyhound? It's more breaks than riding. What's worse is he's a vegetarian. So probably at best you have Burger King to eat. No, no, no. I mean, just gas stations with nothing in them. I mean, the menus in these places

were just single cheeseburger or double cheeseburger or hot dog. That's like all you possibly get, and it's like the worst. I mean, it's definitely like the worst-looking food I've ever seen in my life. So I didn't even want a bun with nothing in it. I was just like, these buns are just going to be the most poisoning, vile thing ever.

So I just ate peanuts and cliff bars and bullshit. He showed me a picture on his phone of some freedom fries as he described them. It's just some mess of chili cheese, wet, oily potato fries. And then he has a picture of

the woman serving them. This obese woman in a yellow reflective vest. like a construction vest. Construction workers. He just walked in off the street and started like serving French fries and hamburgers. Oh, my God. Grossest thing. Oh, that's horrible.

Literally. The closest Greyhound station to us is in Benson, and it's literally the McDonald's. Yeah. No, we've picked up. What's his name? No, the fucking grasshopper. That's another guy. That Australian guy, Nick.

Nick's son. Nick's son. We had to pick him up at the Greyhound station. He's sitting at the McDonald's. Like, that's it. There's not even a sign. No, no, it is the McDonald's. Yeah.

That's horrible, man. But it was so interesting to take that kind of route through the... Because everyone on the bus with me was just like meth heads and the craziest prostitutes and

the craziest fucking people. And I mean, there was two guys, Mexican guys with like face tattoos, shaven heads, that came in with like police officers, like bringing them into the bus, making sure they were on the bus. And then like adios,

and then these guys. Running them out of town on a rail? Yeah. Wow. It was hectic. It was. Wow. Did you make any friends?

No, I didn't speak a single word for the first 25 hours. And I actually was kind of hoping that I wouldn't say anything for the 73 hours. But for the first 25, I just didn't say a single word. Anything that was said to me, I just nodded. But then I said something to someone and my silence was over. But I mainly just didn't speak to anyone, actually. I don't know how much time you've spent on the road,

but I remember in the days of living on the road where you wouldn't speak for days. Other than talking, getting gassed, and you'd hear your voice. It would startle you when you spent days without because you're just a guy in a car in Wyoming and then Salt Lake and then middle of Nevada. And then you go, hey, how you doing? And I said, oh, fuck my voice. When I got out of the army, I drove home from Alaska.

Alcan? Yeah. It was a long trip, and I spent a lot of it, like 26-something hours plus straight at one point driving. And I know what you're talking about, because I remember one time I, I got to get gas pretty soon, I said. And then I immediately yelled at myself, I'm not stopping unless there's a fucking Arby's. And I was like, hey, what the fuck happened here, man?

I'm not talking anymore. That might be different than what you were talking about. No, you get to a place where you start talking to yourself. That's fucking weird. So who did you finally talk to on the bus? There on the bus there was this there was this um huge black gay guy that

we kind of like bonded as being like maybe the least messed out people on the bus so so we we had a few discussions that's great when that's the only common bond you can find. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, we're pretty much not messed up on math right now, so maybe we'll have a conversation. So, Frosty, go ahead. No, no, I was just going to say, I've been in some scary-type situations,

and to me, that trip that you described is scary to me. I mean, you know people play the knockout game in some of those places you're talking about where people just randomly walk up and punch you in the face? I don't go in public. I'm a guy who doesn't go in public a lot, so your trip scares me. No, I mean, there was a guy who was taken at, because there's security stops in Texas.

There was a guy his switchblade was taken off him so he was taken to the side and like properly strip searched or like searched and they found this huge switchblade and the guy is just yelling like give me my fucking knife back give me my fucking knife back and the guy's just like you can't bring this back on the bus like there's no way we're letting you have this. First of all, it's been a few years, to say the least, since I've had to take the Greyhound. So they actually do pat-down searches?

Yeah. Randomly? No, there's like a thing where everyone has to get off the bus, and there's an hour stop. I think it's in... Yeah, I can't remember.'s in Texas but it's everyone has to go out through the station and they have their tickets

but then they have to come back in through security checks and it's just it's just a one like you know what's it called like a metal detector thing but then they have guys like picking out sketchy people. But it's just the one stop.

At the next Burger King, somebody could hang you. For sure. Then you're fine. Sir, you've been randomly selected. I'm just fucking with you. It's not random at all. It's the teardrop tattoos.

Please get in the fucking booth. You with the spit mask over the side. You with the lack of face skin. Get here. Get back here. James Inman is a comic friend of ours. He's a fucking nutter, as they say. And he did a whole, the Greyhound Diaries was a one-man show.

And I don't know if it's a book or whatever he ever did with it. But, yeah, he was always on Greyhounds. But I remember one time he was supposed to open for me in Portland, Oregon. He was doing the San Francisco comedy competition, had a week off between rounds. So he went to the Greyhound. It was the last bus of the night. They said that they couldn't let him on the bus because he was intoxicated,

which he probably was to an extent, but he's a hardcore drinker. So calling him drunk that early was an offense. He's like, what the fuck? This is a wicked born to lose guy anyway. He's like Carl Pilkington. He's that kind of guy, but a wicked alcoholic. And so he's like, there's no more buses.

So he has to spend the night. You can get the next bus in the morning. Now he has no money, except he has enough money to get a bottle from the liquor store. But he has to stay the night. The station. The station closes. He can't stay in the station. It's in Sacramento or something.

And so he goes to the liquor store, and they won't serve him because they have a policy against serving homeless people. He's like, I'm not homeless. This is just how I fucking dress. But he's causing a scene. so he's not helping his case. So now, as he's at that point, he's probably like 38, 40 years old. He has to tap outside the fucking liquor store like a teenager.

Hey, will you buy alcohol for me? So he gets a guy and he goes, okay, I'll buy. And the guy fucking beats feet with his money so now he has no money and no alcohol and he goes to the park and he's trying to sleep on a fucking bench and the cops show up and start rousting and he explains his situation and the cops warn him that there's been a rash of fucking homeless killings in the park so to be careful and

so yeah so he ended up having to take a shit so he took a shit on the doorstep of the fucking Freemasons building because the Freemasons are a secret society that control the world so that was his political statement and he wiped his ass with a thrifty nickel newspaper

and then got on the bus in the morning. Oh, my God. That's a good bus story. What do you think of Disney, and where are you going next? That's the kind of people you rode the bus with. Yeah, yeah. Derelicts. When I was in the Army, I had to ride,

and this was my Greyhound bus claim to fame for a long time. I had to ride from Kentucky to South carolina and they kept stopping at fast food and just the shittiest food places so by halfway there i had gas so bad and i kept eking out farts the whole way they had to make an unscheduled stop because they thought the toilet was backed up you want to talk about farts? My farts can stop a Greyhound bus. I was never scared on a bus. Yeah.

Back then it was just funny. Meth changed a whole lot of shit i've you know as you first of all you don't drink like i would be you know smuggling booze onto a bus and taking sleeping pills and just okay we'll make this 73 hours go away real fast by snoring did you even have a neck pillow? No, I had a sweater that I tied around my neck so I could use as a neck pillow. And then I think like a day and a half in I found a store that had blankets, so I bought a blanket. So you were completely ill-prepared.

Did you know going in that you were going to be doing? No, no, no, no. It was on a whim. I was just like, yeah. Because I was going to do it at some point, but then I just decided on a whim to do it as the first part of the trip. So you were accidentally really well-prepared for Bisbee,

is what you're saying. Except there's no bus station. You can't get the fuck out of here. The conditions are similar. You can't get out of here. How fucked up a town is it where you can't get Greyhound to serve you? There must be some sort of transportation

out of town. There's a shuttle out of Douglas that you can schedule a stop here. But you can't just walk down to some place and get a thing. You have to. Sierra Vista used to have a bus stop. Now it's Vincent Walmart. I mean, not Walmart, McDonald's.

Sierra Vista doesn't have Greyhound? No. Holy shit. When we first moved here, they had it in 2002. And that's a town of like 40,000. Yeah. But it's a military town, so they don't want people

easily, you know, leaving. That town screams AWOL. Fuck this. See the world? No. Not a chance.

They've got a big drug interdiction surveillance balloon. They're supposed to watch the border. Yeah, it looks like a blimp. The blimp is watching a Vice documentary on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. The guy was talking about it. He's like, we've got these surveillance videos. He's like, we can track a single person going where they were showing all the infrared tracking.

Same fucking balloon. We got over Sierra everything they do. Same fucking balloon we got over Sierra Vista. Exact same fucking balloon. That thing's been sitting there since I moved here almost nine years. What's that thing? It's just watching you. Don't worry about it. Yeah. They're doing a breakfast cereal

observation to see who eats most Cheerios. Do you get any shit coming across the border? Yeah. Really? I mean, I got into on the bus in New Mexico. They had

these guys come on the bus. These Border Patrol guys. And ask everyone if they had these guys come on the bus, these, you know, Border Patrol guys, and ask everyone if they were U.S. citizens and if they had identification and stuff. And I said I wasn't a U.S. citizen and started looking for my passport, couldn't find it,

and realized that it was in the storage thing beneath. So, and I just woke up at this point i'd been sleeping for like an hour so i'm like groggy as hell don't know what's going on all these guys like and they're like intense you know it's not like oh do you have it's like what's your passport it's like totally papers papers papers yeah and so i go and he escorts me out of the bus this guy takes me out and they'd already opened the luggage thing and he says okay go get your bag and find your passport and i say oh oh i can't because your dog is already on my thing on my bag so they had picked the dog had picked my bag out of all the bags and it's like this is a guy who doesn't do any fucking drugs or drink completely sober and they start grilling me i mean the look on their faces when i say that's my bag

they're like this motherfucker you know like like we got so busted you yes so busted like no passport and the dog picked out your bag and so and i said you know no i i don't have any drugs and they're like do you do drugs you know do you have do you do you possibly have any residue in your in your bag and and i'm like no no i'm completely sober i don't do drugs exactly the canada story yeah and then and then i just opened i said do you want to like do you want the dog to go like in the bag and they're like no that's no that's no need sir and then i just open it to find my passport and dog puts his thing in to put his head in the bag and they just let me go but but that's after that after they fuck with you forever and then don't say sorry. But after them looking into the passport

and saying you're going to need to come to the officer, and I say, why? I mean, there's no stamp or anything. Malfeasance. No, no, no. Oh, no stamp. It doesn't say anywhere that you've entered America. And I just say, that can't be.

I flew in like a week ago. There's no way. They go through it again and finally find the stamp. But it was just very, very spooky. I would think Iceland would be the equivalent to being a midget, where you go, oh, Iceland, that's not really a country. When midgets say, midgets can't claim the same kind of racism

that other people that are actually, no one's scared of midgets or Iceland people. I'm not making my point very well. Border Patrol is not on the fucking lookout for a six foot seven blondish fucking Icelander what I was thinking too is I've been we have Border Patrol checkpoints when you leave here

I don't know if you've been going out but wherever you leave oh yeah don't bring drugs out of here by the way well with you it doesn't matter they're going to target you anyway I was pointing to the back of the room back of the room pointing to the back of the room. Back of the room. Pointing to the gold tooth.

That fucking gold tooth is great. I've been stopped there riding on my motorcycle and then, are you an American citizen? Did you get a lot of guys on Harley Davidson, white guys on Harley Davidson's that aren't American

citizens coming through here? I fucking hate all this bullshit with the profiling in Arizona and then the whole trying to pass the amendment to ban you can ban gay people from your business. I don't know if you heard any of this news as a couple weeks ago.

That's bad. That they reserve the right to not allow gay people into the restaurant? Yeah, based on religious beliefs. Yeah. But every fucking business already has the sign, we reserve the right to refuse service.

Yeah, I was kind of on the fence about that. I thought I kind of liked it. I'm for it. If we don't serve fucking queers in our building, then I don't go if I thought I kind of liked it. I'm for it. Right. We don't serve fucking queers in our building. Then I don't go to your business. And then you just get other ignorant. Same with colored only. Yeah.

I don't know that I was against it. Rand Paul fucking got a lot of shit because he said something to that same effect. It's the same premise of being able to smoke in a bar. The bar owner, that's your business. It's the same as your house. You own it. You should decide what the fucking rules are and if someone doesn't like it, don't go to my

fucking business. What about hooters? How many fat chicks do you see at hooters with small tits? Or, you know, not fat chicks because fat chicks have big tits. They might get at hooters. But what about chicks with no tits? That's the saddest thing ever is the fat girl with no tits, or, you know, not fat chicks, because fat chicks have big tits. They might get hit hooters. But what about chicks with no tits? That's the saddest thing ever, is the fat girl with no tits. Yeah. She's got nothing but a big hump belly.

Because even fat girls can delude themselves into saying, well, guys like my big... No, they don't. They like big, nice tits. They don't like your fucking roll of upper fat. Yeah. But if you have no tits, you don't even have that myth-ology. I've had guys do, oh, look at those big little titties.

That's a fucking fat girl. I'm a fat guy. I got big tits. It doesn't mean they're nice. Yeah. I had a girl email me. I should fucking have these printed off and read them so I don't have to paraphrase poorly but saying my boyfriend i love your comedy my uh boyfriend said i can have sex with you

if you play wherever seattle i don't fucking know yeah oh that's really nice of both of you um i said that's some sarcastic reply. It's the audacity that girls just you know, I decided I'll fuck you. And she wrote back something like, oh, this could get interesting. She didn't understand my sarcasm when I wrote

back. And I go, no, I was being sarcastic, but I'm going to try your approach and I'm going to email Winona Ryder with the same to see how I do. My girlfriend says it's okay that I fuck you. So let's go. Yeah. Once I lost my safe.

Alright, you're in. Impractical jokers. Have you seen that where they make myrrh in the fucking grocery store? Stop the girl and tell her, hey, me and my wife have a deal. We can have sex with anybody we meet in the grocery store.

That's a good deal. I'm not going to do it, but it's a good deal. That's a good deal, not me. We'll turn you on to some impractical jokers. It's one of my favorite shows on TV. Excellent. It's a TV show?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's a TV show? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's like hidden camera pranks, but I won't try to explain it. Okay. Yeah, when I started losing my sex drive, the more I lost my sex drive, the more I would be angry at the fucking that the chicks just assume that, okay, well, this is a currency. Well, not if I don't want it.

Really? Yeah. It's fucking Bitcoin to me, lady. I'm talking about that girl that emailed me and said, my boyfriend says it's okay if I have sex with you. Yeah, suck my dick, whatever. Suck my dick or whatever?

Yeah. I'm going to be white if you... Yeah, oh, that's great. Suck my dick or whatever? Yeah. I'm going to be white of you. Yeah, oh, that's great. How about me and my family? Did you check with them? All right. Well, that's a podcast. That was fun.

Yeah, it was good. I have to... No, no, no. Never turn it off. The best stuff is when everybody thinks it's off. And we have to do sponsors. Who are we sponsored by this week, Frosty? We don't know any sponsors.

What about 10 or 11? Maybe Ora Beans from Iceland? Spell it. Ora Beans from Iceland. Yeah, O-R-A, Ora Beans. Canned beans. Is that our sponsor this week? Healthy beans. No. No? No, not at all-A. Ora. Beans. Canned beans. Is that our sponsor this week? Healthy beans.

No. No? No, not at all. But canned beans. That's a good choice for me, sir. Heinz? Baked beans? Heinz?

Baked beans? Yeah, that would be a shitty bean over here. Canned beans? I thought you were going to say Bjork. I just assumed. We're sponsored by Bjork. When we were in Iceland, we just kept tweeting Bjork for a ride to the airport.

She never responded. But we kept doing it. Our flight's at 12.15. I don't know if you want to meet us at the hotel. Or the coffee shop. But they know Bjork. They're friends with Bjork.

Still didn't fucking respond. Not a fan. No. I'm going to tweet her when we're done. Go, thanks a lot, Bjork. No ride to the airport. See how Frosty gets out of fucking Bisbee. Not on a Greyhound bus. We know shady people in Bisbee. Can I ask Frosty gets out of fucking Bisbee. Not on a Greyhound bus.

We know shady people in Bisbee. Can I ask Frosty something real quick? Yeah. What do you think of Bisbee and where are you going next? That's two things. I love Bisbee. Yeah?

I'm so stoked about this town. It's, I mean, it looks and feels very great. And next up for me is L.A. Okay. At least for a month. Okay.

And then, yeah. You're going to try to get discovered? I'm trying to make it. No, I'm just traveling. I'm just vacationing and just having a, yeah. Are you going to L.A. via Greyhound from here? No, no, no. Me and Jonathan are driving back there. Phew? No, no, no, me and Jonathan are driving back there

Phew Yeah, no, no, no I was going to give you some weapons to hide on your person A month in LA and then back to Iceland? Yeah, I mean, my ticket's for the 23rd of May so I can be here for three months

and it's a flexible ticket so I'm just winging it. I decided as soon as I get really bored, then I'll go back home. Okay, cool. It's still only Iceland air that flies to Reykjavik? I mean, as far as the U.S.? No, now there's – I'm pretty sure there's also WOW air out of New York. WOW air?

Yeah. That doesn't sound safe at all. Sounds safer than Malaysia Air. Zippity-doo-dah, airlines. Shorten it to wow. Ding-dong. Yeah, fucking Reykjavik is fantastic. Next time, only in the summer.

Amazing. Or winter. Yeah, the prison sounds great. As a potential murderous psychopath, I really... That's the place to go. Get busted there. Get busted there, for sure. I'll be treated like shit

here. Yeah, I missed the weekend. Evidently, on the weekends, Reykjavik turns into fucking Mardi Gras every weekend. That's nuts. the weekends Reykjavik turns into fucking Mardi Gras every weekend. That's nuts. Jonathan was describing it just vomit.

Vomit and fist fights. How many people in the whole place? The whole country? 330,000. That's crazy, huh? Get on, Mike. Get on here. All right.

Pee and shit. That'll be a lot. I think that we went late September, so it was almost the worst time to go. If you could prepare for ultimate cold or nice, but in that middle ground where you're like, oh, it's kind of nice during the day. It's fucking horrific at night.

There was a night where we were out. It was Friday or Saturday. And we were out in the strip where just all the bars dump out as everyone's getting kicked out. And people are smashing their... Pull the mic out of the thing. They're smashing their glasses and all that bullshit. All the girls, literally, standing outside of every bar,

they walk out with their last pint and then they're just chugging it on the street and they just start smashing them, smashing them, smashing them. So there's glasses shattered like everywhere. Every night that it's like this, it's like that. And then within, you know, 8 o'clock the next morning, it's like it never fucking happened. I mean, it's like Mardi Gras in the sense that they come through and clean it out so fast.

But we're standing there and there's a building across the street from us that is being repainted. And there is literally like a two and a half story scaffolding that's up against the building. And a dude

climbs up on the fucking scaffolding and starts from the top of it rocking it back and forth. I've forgotten about this. Right? I totally didn't know what you were talking about. He's rocking back and forth on it and everyone's

cheering on him and whatever. Security guys come over and fucking are like, he's rocking back and forth on it, and everyone's like cheering on him and whatever. Security guys come over and fucking are like, get the fuck down. Like, two guys from a bar just like, we're going to save this guy from like fucking killing himself. Bouncers. So they're like, get the fuck down. The guy gets down, and while they're dealing with him,

another dude jumps up onto the scaffolding and manages to rock it free, and it's on four fucking wheels, and the dude climbs up to the top of it, rocks it until it starts rolling down the fucking street. 45 degree angle. Like a proper grade.

Is it the same street we were on? Yeah, I remember this hill. So right as you get down to the bottom, on the very top of it, and he's like, like, everybody is just like cheering and screaming. And all of a sudden, it starts to just teeter.

And this motherfucker takes a header. The whole thing tips. And he falls. He holds onto it. Because what the fuck else are you going to do? This is all you have. This is your ladder and everything. And so it starts to go.

And he's just like, wah! And literally just, like, whammo. I mean, like, falling off of a fucking building, basically. It was literally like falling off a roof. And we stood there. And then I looked at Frosty and I was like, nobody has their phones out. Because we were all so mystified by this dude doing it. Nobody was like, I got to get it.

We were all just like, oh. But nobody had it. It was fucking crazy. He was fucked up. I mean, they carted him off. fucking crazy. He was fucked up. They carted him off. He was fucked up. Alive, but fucked. It's so nasty.

And he's probably famous now there. I could probably tweet him for a ride to the airport. Hey, Bjork isn an answer in her messages. And you're bigger than her. Yeah, but he'll pick us up on scaffolding. Yeah, exactly. Double bus. That's wicked good.

That's great. But then again, Monday morning, everyone's just proper. Polite. Almost to the point of being dull. And that's pretty true for most of the Scandinavian countries everyone's so content there's no rage like that

it's work hard, play hard though, I mean it's like it's all in during the weekends and then it's all work and proper getting shit done it's intense on all fronts.

The weather's intense. The people are intense. And like you're saying, I think that like the way that they work and the way that they party, it's just like alright, what is it? The most per capita per capita. Right? We have the most per capita per capita. Like drink more. We drink more. Like we do more shit. It's like everything.

We eat all of the stuff. Like we do whatever it is that we do, we do it more per capita than anybody else. And it feels that way. It feels like. It's like everything. We eat all of the stuff. We do whatever it is that we do. We do it more per capita than anybody else. And it feels that way. It feels like. It's like the happiest nation per capita, but also like the highest suicide rate. Highest suicide, yeah. Really?

Yeah, that's the way it is. It's just like the craziest yin and yang country. You talked about the work ethic of people. What's a welfare type thing? Take care of people who don't do shit. So many of the kids are. I mean the prisoners get taken care of. All the kids I met while I was there that you introduced me to,

so many of them were like, oh, I work for the city. I work with seniors. I work with disabled kids. There's a phenomenal amount of that. That small a population. Again, people know each other. You take care of that. That's small a population. People know each other. You do... I mean, you take care of people.

It's definitely closer to utopia than what we got here. I think the numbers allow it to... When you're dealing with a finite... It's a workable program because it's like, oh, there's only 135,000 of us doing this. The rest, let's say, 135 000 people like heavily involved in some sort of civic type

area like minus people that are out in villages and farms and stuff like that and it's like somehow when you apply those types of like you know whatever ideal socialist stuff and some of that stuff that it does work in that small format it's as it gets bigger and, that it's just all that corruption moves in and it's impossible to keep. But it is a testament to the fact that that type of governing in that smaller area really is the key to, I think, making those places work. Is it like, you know, civic government. And that's why I think it's also, you know, John becoming mayor, doing that is such a it's quite a it's very interesting. It's a pretty interesting

study in just like, you know, just modern times and like how shit, you know. Yeah, that's our sponsor is the documentary Gnar G-N-A-R-R is a fucking Gnar. But that's not going to help you spell it on fucking a Netflix search. G-N-A-R-R is a fucking... Gnar. That's not going to help you spell it on fucking a Netflix search.

G-N-A-R-R. Yeah, Netflix. Google doesn't roll their R's. Netflix doesn't have it, though. It's not on Netflix. It is. I streamed it on Netflix. Is it?

Oh, okay. All right, I'm on it. G-N-A-R-R. Yeah, it's his father's whole You know I don't know if we ever Actually If I finish that He was a comedian

That ran during The economic depression And he ran a joke Campaign for mayor And Fucked up And got elected So it's the whole

Run up to Oh shit We're actually gonna Win And it wasn't just Him as a mayor. He had a party, the best party. What were some of his campaign platforms?

Campaign platforms? Yeah, if I get elected, there's free towels at the public pool. Yeah, it was... It was just goofy shit. Yeah, they said... They hated the government so much that this was so refreshing. Yeah.

It was... The basic promise was that if we get elected, we promise to break all of the promises we've made. That was like the fundamental... The base. The base. The other stuff was like

importing a polar bear for the base. But the other stuff was like importing a polar bear for the zoo. And they were at such a bad place that this just didn't seem like that bad of an idea. Yeah, exactly. It's total irony. But everybody got a towel

at the public pool or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Just dumb shit, and he got elected. But the documentary covers the whole, like, hey, let's do this as a goof. Chad, you would love it. It's wicked good. I devoured documentary Stan Host. I know, but this one.

The recommendations are always good, but I couldn't find that one. But I didn't know the exact name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the comedy series that he does it's very I say it's Louis-esque it's filmed kind of I asked the fucking his dad

I'm like how do I get I want to buy DVDs of that good question some smart fucky remark that's why I'm trying to fucking track down who the fuck I loaned that to, because I want to watch it again. It's so good.

Night shift, day shift, prison shift, and then there was a movie, right? Yeah, and then there was Bjarne Freyler's one. Wait, wait, wait, Doug. Bjarne Freyler's one. If you wrote it down, I could say it the right way. Let me write it. I'm going to have a white off.

I want to have a white off. Yeah, yeah. Teach him how to speak. Okay. Okay, well, it starts with a B and a J. We'll skip the blowjob joke, but those letters don't go together. It's Bjorn Fredersen.

Bjorn Fredersen. Bjorn Fredersen. Okay. Checking. Yeah, I'm going to have to say exactly what Stan will say. Well, you have to say it. Bjorn Fredersen. It's not Fredersen.

It's Bjorn Fredersen. Yeah, Bjorn Fredersen. Go ahead, sayersen. It's beyond Fredersen. Beyond Fredersen. Go ahead, say it now. No, you say it. Beyond Fredersen. Oh, you know what? I want to go through your bag. My dog just hit on your bag.

That's awfully suspicious, sir. Very suspicious. I think there's that flight from Malaysia in your bag. Very coincidental you're visiting here. It's almost as if you're trying to prove an alibi, sir. Yeah, yeah. I love trying to get on as many podcasts as I can while I'm in the States. Yeah.

I love fucking John sits over there, just sitting there all fucking happy, texting, walks in, killer story, fucking blows the roof off the podcast, goes and sits down and texts again. He's like, I did my job. He's been doing this every week for eight years. Yeah. Okay, you've been sponsored by Reykjavik and Bjork.

Ora Beans. Ora Beans. Frosty Songs. Oh yeah, Farfignoogan with Farfignoogan. What was the name of it? Come on Frosty It's Fufanu Fufanu

We need some Fufanu Banana, Fana, Fufanu Fufa, Fufanu Fufanu Fufanu There you go Thank you for having me Yeah

Like generally and on this podcast Hey hey i've never done a podcast with a guy who was sober thanks yeah it's always i used to like that would bum me out like after last night we were up till five in the morning drinking which uh derrick really stole the show but uh there's the sober guy that remembers everything always bums you out because that's a cell phone that you can't go in and erase is his memory. But yeah, Frosty, now I'm at an age where you go, hey, that guy can drive. Usually we're stuck here in the fucking safe house fucking compound. But now we're like, hey, we could do anything because that guy, not only is he not drinking, he doesn't want to.

Like, usually there's. I didn't think about that angle. Always the driver. Yeah, yeah. Usually, like, Derek will stay sober to drive, but he doesn't want to. So it's a buzzkill in the back of your head. You're going, oh, we're fucking him over. Yeah, this clown doesn't even want a drink. What a

shithead. I'll marry this guy in a minute. We could all go in the van. Frosty, be my daddy. Yeah, I will. We're doing it tomorrow. Be my daddy. Yes, yes, yes. Can Reverend Derrick do the services tomorrow in Disney? He's Reverend Derrick? He Can Reverend Derrick do the services tomorrow in Disney?

We should. Is Reverend Derrick? He's Reverend Derrick? I know, but we have to go. Yeah, that's actually something we should bring up at city council. And the mayor did

call back because I put a call into the mayor saying, hey, will you come by and have a drink? I don't want it's a long story, but the son of the Reykjavik

mayor is here. And when I visited his country, they met me at the airport in gorilla masks. So I would like some reciprocation. If you could just come by for a cocktail, that would be lovely. No,

she called back and said she's having dinner with Gretchen. So she, yeah, blew me off till tomorrow. So yeah, very cool. But that's something I want to bring up with the mayor is since we have the gay civil union amendment, whatever it's called, let's do it all night like Vegas where you can get drunk gay married. I got married in Vegas drunk because you can get married 24 hours.

Why don't we have all night gay marriage in Arizona? In Bisbee. Yeah, so you can get drunk gay married. And then we can have quickie divorces, bring some commerce to some fucking shyster shitty lawyers. He's not a lawyer anymore. He's the prosecutor. Never mind. He's not a lawyer anymore. He's the prosecutor. He probably needs a buck.

He'll probably push some shit. And we need commerce here. Reykjavik and Bisbee, Sister Cities. I've so deemed them. How long have you been doing a podcast? We started in February of 2006. We started in February of 2006. We started in February of 2006.

Let's just bring it up again since we're in the suicide house and he has to sleep here and it gives him the creeps. Does it give you the creeps? Oh, yeah. Eat the mic. I just didn't want to sleep in the bedroom as well. Did you sleep on the couch? I did.

All right. Which I didn't have any problem with whatsoever. However, there was a bit of a debacle when I came in. Yes. So I'd just barely been in the room for a second with Doug when we first got here. And he just walked me through and then kind of filled me in. Oh, boy. That's a lot.

But then just right out of the room. Just like, oh, oh yeah by the way here's a bed you can sleep here this is where the guy killed himself that's why the picture is so low it's covering up the bullet hole I was just here and so I was like alright

it might have been a joke and then after about an hour I was just like that's not a joke did you look under the picture? Frosty did I did not just a hole That's not a joke. All right. Did you look under the picture? Frosty did. I did not. Okay. But then I came in. Yeah, yes.

And I came in late to go to bed, and then there was sage in the bedroom. Well, just Jen, our friend just Jen. I know. I have to, for the people listening, had blessed the place with burning sage, not eating it, thinking it was mushrooms. But I don't know the whole background of sage, but evidently they did some voodoo shit when they had to stay here for Super Bowl where they had burned that thing right there.

Well, I saw the sage on the table. I thought it was the foreign guys that were trying to clear out ghosts before they had to sleep here. Well, I guess, I mean, it was here. It was sitting on the floor. Yeah, so I'm using it, and I light it, and I'm walking it through the house. And I set off a chain of smoke alarms.

Oh, that's what. So the smoke alarm goes off in the bedroom. Oh, no. And so I go, and I pull the battery out. But then there's like a beep in it that tells you that there's no battery in it. So I thought I had fixed the problem by just yanking the battery, but then it was just like, eh.

And I was like, well, first of all, I'm not that keen on sleeping in the room in the first place, but now with this beep, I'm just like, all right, this is too much. So I'm standing up on a table. Derek doesn't like sage. So I'm standing up on a table trying to fix the smoke alarm,

pressing it over and over again, and then talking out loud to whatever perceived spirits that I'm currently contending with in the room. And so I'm just like, listen, I'm going to get out of here. I don't know. So basically what I wound up doing was turning off the lights, turning on the ceiling fan, and closing the door just to sort of make it like...

Oh, you should have done it three times because he was OCD. Yeah. Derek was wicked OCD. If he could look down, he'd be laughing his fucking ass off right now. Yeah. That's beautiful.

Beautiful. You okay on the couch? Straight, yeah, totally. I slept good. We were in, not this year, but last year, Cincinnati, and the fire alarm smoke detector kept going off in the hotel. They were doing some maintenance, and, you know, it's like dust or the fucking paint fumes

or whatever toxic shit we should not be living in. Keep setting this off, and it's like 7.30, 8 in the morning, and I'm real sur 38 in the morning and i i'm real surly in the morning so i call the front desk and i give them what for and i use the f word so they hang up on me and you fucking and it goes off the last time and i just picked up a trash can because it's high ceilings i couldn't reach the thing it was our metal ice bucket oh i thought it was a metal trash can either way i start fucking hammering the thing, trying to knock it off the ceiling.

But it's not like these. It's not a temporary. It's wired. Permanent wired. So I smash the fucking thing off. And I'm so pissed that I call the front desk and tell them, yeah, now I knocked your fucking thing off. Now I'm trashing your room.

What's up now? I just cussed at you. Now I'm trashing your room. Yeah, exactly. What's up now? I just cussed at you. Now I'm trashing your shit. What up? So a short while later, both the fire department and the police are in our room. Oh, shit. And the fire department is informing the police that it's a

felony what I did. I could be arrested. So yeah, we went to a red roof in peacefully, but you know what? We got a smoking room. That's the time that where you winked at me and you were like, keep your clothes off as long as you possibly can. Yeah. They're like, you're out bending over crotch.

Go ahead. Bingo is notorious for always being naked on the road to the point where you don't even think about it. And the opening act is in your room and Bingo's walking around naked and they're like hiding their eyes. And like, oh, sorry, I forget. Yeah, she's always naked. So when she gets out of bed,

like they're saying, you got to go. Your hotel wants you out. And she's starting to go for clothes. And I'm like giving her the high side, no. But I bent over. I bent over trying to pick up clothes slowly. Packing her shit. Bending over cops and firemen and hotel management.

Our room was packed full of cops and, yeah, firemen. So, yeah, when you told me that story this morning about, oh, I got up to try to disassemble the thing, I would have fucking trashed it. Yeah. And I wouldn't have blamed you a bit. Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah.

With the door closed, it was sort of like a, it was just methodical enough that you could sort of lull yourself into it. Does the TV work? Did you even try it? It does. I did try it and could sort of lull yourself into it. Does the TV work? Did you even try it? It does. I did try it, and I could not get it to find this. All right.

This is shit we need to know while you're staying here. It's really, no, it's totally fine. No, we want to fix it. No, we got to get this shit fixed. The coach is going to be here. We have real company coming in. Actual company coming in. Yeah.

People that need shit. Real people that do shit. Coach of the baseball team. All right. Kenny's here. That means the fucking, all right. Fun's baseball team. All right, Kenny's here. That means the fucking... All right, fun's over. Podcast is done. Kenny's here.

He ruins everything. All right. You can hit it, honey. There's a stop button. I know. There you go. All right, that was Jonathan Larroquette, Frosty Gnar, Bingo Bing Bong Bingaman, and Chad Shank.

And, yeah, next podcast, I think we'll be talking about how that eBay yard sale wrapped up and a whole bunch of other shit. Road stories. The Matoid is out sick this week, so we're going to leave you with Fufanu with Frosty Nair on drums. You've been listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast, recorded live at the Funhouse in Bisbee, Arizona, with Doug Stanhope, Frosty Nair, Jonathan Larroquette, Chad Schenck, and Bingo. Opening music by Miska Shubale. Closing song by Fufaru, Frosty's man.

This episode sponsored by Aura, canned green beans. Available in Iceland. Check out Jonathan Larroquette's podcast, Uh, Yeah, Dude, at uhyadude.com. Also available on iTunes. Catch up with all of Doug's live dates at dougstanhope.com. Thanks for listening. Threw it away To your dog Wiped it away To your dog

I'll call out Cause you Rock away Say goodbye to me Walked away, stayed there by two feet You Walked away, stayed there by two feet To my head, you didn't wear it To your heart, you waved it away To your heart, I bowed

To your heart, waved it away To my mind, threw it away To God, stepped out I'm not sure if you can see it, but I'm not sure if you can see it. Walk away, saying goodbye to me It's you, you Walk away, saying goodbye Do my hand, do it away I'm going to go ahead and do that. Put my hand through any way Put your hand in any way Look around And I

I'm so sure Walk the way I am I'm going to take you higher I'm going to take you higher Thank you. Laugh out To tell that Laugh out Cause you Walk away Saying goodbye Cause you I

I I I I I I I I I I One way

One way One way One way One way Choose my hand, threw it away Choose your hand, wave it away Choose your hand, to the top Choose my hand, threw it away Tooth my hand, threw it away

Tooth your hand, waved it away Tooth our hand, toothed the fucking Tooth my hand, threw it away Tooth your hand, waved it away To your Way, way, way To your Way To get away To get away

To get away Take me by I'm walking by You are there You are there You are there Bye. Thank you.