The Doug Stanhope Podcast - EPISODE #26: Jim Goad

Episode Date: April 22, 2014

Doug sits down with underground cult author, Jim Goad to discuss his past incarceration, female privlege, LA riots and still being employed. This podcast sponsored by The Bisbee Blue - http://bisbee.pecosleague.com/ and King's Bar-B-Q in Stone Mountain. Jim Goad - http://jimgoad.net/, ThoughtCatalog.com, Taki Magazine, Jim Goad is the author of three books available onlilne - Jim Goad's Gigantic Book of Sex, Shit Magnet and The Redneck Manifesto. Recorded Apr 17, 2014 in the green room of improv Atlanta with Doug Stanhope, Jim Goad and greg Chaille. Produced and Edited by Greg Chaille @gregchaille. Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes. Take a moment to signup for the mailinglist at dougstanhope.com.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores have closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only

thing I liked about you in the end La la la only thing I liked about you in the end. La, la, la. Yeah, do you see that young Hispanic lad, the little mini Joe Rogan? Tell him he can sit in, but to bring his cigarettes in an ashtray. is this the muslim that pretends he's mexican for is he a muslim i thought i asked him last night last night is such a fucking blur he ate pork chops that's i was actually testing him yeah people it's they say they're that i've done bits about this, and again, another one that's not on any kind of recording.

The people who say I'm that, but they're not, are the problem. Like a weekend Muslim. Well, the people who say I'm a Muslim just for... Or they say, oh yeah, I'm Lutheran. Well, you don't practice it, so don't say you are that. Because you're giving the actual people who believe the dogma the small nugget of mentally ill people that believe all the words credibility because you everyone everyone who believed in a religion to the t would be locked up in a fucking mental

institution if they went in and said oh i believe someone's following all my fucking thoughts and you know judging my whatever. I was a Jesus freak for about a year and a half, absolutely psychotic. I drank poison, camphor, phenic liquid, because Mark chapter 16 says that people who believe in me will be able to drink poison and survive and pick up serpents. They have those appellations. Snake handler?

Yeah, those guys get bitten to death left Left and right, dropping left and right. Yeah, there's a big one that just died. It was on a reality show about snake handlers, and then he died. Jim Goad is here with me. We're in Atlanta in the green room after a second night, and this is why I never do fucking two shows, because people come back, and they see you again, and then you're saying the same shit shit and it fucking devastates my soul.

And we were going to be podcasting with me and Jim Goad and John Rocker, who was here last night, but he bailed out. What was his excuse? He was a maniac. Where's my phone? Check that. Is my phone over there?

Check the text. It would be funny to have Jimim goad and john rocker both guys horribly accused of being heavily racist yeah they did probably for different reasons yeah i might i don't know i don't know john rocker that well what was it he said it that people speak different languages in new york and there's queers there so that was the quote i. I looked it up. Yeah. He would never play for New York because in the subway you have to sit beside a queer with AIDS next to a mother of four that's only 20 years old, et cetera, et cetera. Nothing that's untrue, but he said the wrong words.

If he said a alternative lifestyle with a debilitating disease. He had great delivery, though. I mean, he had timing and everything. He held the room in thrall. Yeah. If he said an alternative lifestyle with a debilitating disease. He had great delivery, though. I mean, he had timing and everything. He held the room in thrall. Yeah. I don't know him well enough to defend or persecute him. Well, people ask me if I'm a racist. I say, well, what do you mean?

What does that word mean? And I'm usually like, do you want to harm people? No. Do you think people are born equal? No. All the evidence points against it. I was starting to tell you earlier, it's like it's just the modern like red scare.

Racism and sexism, homophobia. People are just like out of their minds about it and people lost their humor about that sort of shit. I tried to read and I failed. And people lost their humor about that sort of shit. I mean, it's such a goldmine. I tried to read and I failed, then went to books on tape to listen to Guns, Germs, and Steel. Oh, Jesus, yeah.

Which, if I gleaned anything out of it, yes, different parts of the world progressed because of a lot of- Yeah. Well, that's kind of what the racists say, that Nordic people and Chinese had cold, harsh environments, so the intelligent, clever ones survived to put a lot of effort into raising a small number of kids instead of shitting them out on the African plains, you know, just fucking everything left and right. They were different survivors.

You're going to have to keep that mic. You have such a, I don't know when they took that fucking tumor out of your head if they took your voice box too, but I,

I'm going in and out. I'm just seeing your mic going back and forth and even with no one talking, I've had to lean into. I've got a call. I don't want to give the mic herpes.

I've got a cold sore here. That's all right. Hey, you're in fucking good company here. I might get something from this mic. Trade STDs with this mic. My dick has never done a podcast. Yeah, but that was the thing last night. There were a few black people in the audience,

like hardly any. Tonight, I was only aware of it because you asked me before the show if there are black people in the audience like hardly any except tonight i was only aware of it because you asked me before the show if there are black people in my audience and when i went through the audience yeah that was you know not as it's atlanta but not equal to the population base in atlanta right yeah there's at least a dozen black guys i saw walking to the stage only because i was aware of it because you asked because there were four acts last night and they all said something along the lines of i'm not racist but they all did like i'm not racist but like they had that disclaimer i know like a lot of people

who like think i'm an okay writer well he's a horrible human being but you know you can write i try my best to never apologize yeah for jokes like i try to double down if you think this is, and to the point where it makes it ludicrous. And if you don't get it still, then yeah. But prejudice exists naturally. Well, what about post-judice? What if you've actually hung around with Koreans and fucking hate them after all your experiences? Because prejudice implies you'll like somebody if you get to spend enough time with them. What if you spend time with a group of people

and you wind up hating them? You do that. You do do that. It's just not necessarily race-related or sex-related or gender. If you walk into a fucking wedding and you're invited and you don't know anyone there, you will gravitate towards people

who look like you or are around your age. Yeah. Well, that's one thing you learn in prison too. Yeah. But that was the thing too. You'd see Peckerwoods, like Aryan Brotherhood guys, playing cards with Crips. And everyone kind of knew their boundaries,

but everyone got along great. Now, you went to prison. Not everyone that listens to my podcast knows jim goad right the writer racist racist wife beater wife beater racist uh and country singer for the record you beat women that weren't actually married to you yes yeah so girlfriend beater all right hit them back You know what? Pause the podcast. Go Wikipedia Jim Goad. G-O-A-D.

Yeah. Yeah. And then come back. Form your own conclusions. I'm fine with it. I'm happy with everything I've ever done. My only problem is just spending too much time worrying or fretting about being misunderstood about it. I met you in Portland, and I don't know how. It might have been MySpace.

I'm not sure. I think it was Arthur K. Belowski that he sent you my stuff, I think. Okay, that might be it. Arthur Hinty for the people who don't know Art K. Belowski. Yeah. Hinty. Yeah. And then we did Mushrooms and you went to the strip club

and the girl I was with, her friend, threatened to kill himself while we were high on mushrooms. So we had to leave. Now, you worked for like a smut publication that was just above Dante's. Right. A free sex industry rag. There should be a generic term. I'm not sure they can because they have them in every city.

It's like a guide to the sex industry. Jack Shacks. But like Playboy magazine or any you actually wrote articles like kill gore trout home home breast implant kits adult films made by children i basically was i was like inside a trojan horse making fun of the industry because i mean i don't understand why they say women are degraded through that shit i think guys are guys guys are treated like shit women are worshipped i mean give me money to take my clothes off i'm there exactly no guy ever made money watching porn yes but uh i heard this i got out of the joint this guy created a job for me and you had these women in the sex industry

trying to dummy it up that they were sex workers they weren't whores and you're sex positive and i said why do you need to be positive about sex? You have to actually learn to like it? Let's backtrack a minute. You were in the joint. Yeah. Let's quickly cover it just to catch people up. Well, okay. If I could give you a link, jimgoad.net slash sound slash an A-N-N-E dot mp3.

Jimgoad.net. No one's going to do that. Okay. Well, no. You got to do that. It's the most frightening. We already told people to look at your-3. Jim Goode. No one's going to do that. Okay. Well, no. You got to do that. You know what? We already told people to look at your Wikipedia page. Figure it out.

They wouldn't let that on Wikipedia, but that's her threatening to cut my head off, chop my nipples off. I will never be able to make a public appearance again. She's telling the cops. She's like, give this tape to the cops, telling them I'm violating the restraining order. I can't stay away from you. I'm going to have to put behind bars. I wound up on my ass. It was like a musical chair.

You did two and a half years for... Two and a half years for hitting her back. Beating the fuck out of her. And again, I was a year of patience with... Again, I took a restraining order out against her. She attacked me physically three times in three weeks every time I called the cops.

But it's almost like hate crimes where you go, if a dude kicks the shit out of me that's there's really no penalty he'll probably spend the night in jail right and get probation well i think it's because women's women are the second class citizens is bullshit they live seven years longer weak as shit i could not fight i should i should be treated as a woman if a dude beats a fuck out of me i'm a lady i was certified like needle shaquille o'neal for over a year threatened to kill him for that chop shaquille o'neal's nipples off stalked him and slapped him with a cerebral palsy hand every day he took out a restraining order against me and like you know and i kept hitting him and

everything and he beat the shit nobody would give. I mean, even though he's relatively bigger and stronger compared to me than I was compared to him. You say relatively like there's a fucking – no, he's completely. No, she was only two inches shorter than me and like 30 pounds. I was like a stick at the time, 30 pounds lighter. But fuck, yeah, but it's second-class citizen bullshit. I did an article like two nights ago about moms who killed their kids. There was just – did you hear about this in Utah? They found six babies in cardboard boxes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I haven an article two nights ago about moms who kill their kids. Do you hear about this in Utah? They found six babies

in cardboard boxes. But they did a study. It was back in the late 60s. I don't know if it's changed, but 68% of women who kill their kids go to mental hospitals. 14% of guys who kill their kids. The rest go to prison. There's female privilege for that sort of shit. They've done studies. If a chick commits the same crime,

oh, she's mentally ill. She's got emotional problems. The guy does it, he's just evil. What if I'm just mentally ill? Before this, we were kind of talking about that. People who do benefit from gender, racial, sexuality. She was going to do a book. She was writing a book called Milking the System when I was with her about false rape. Did you get entered into the fucking

evidence false false uh the da was this mormon guy who just and this was portland this was like milking the system oh yeah yeah and every i mean i think he uh he originally wanted to give me 25 years but he backed off once uh there were tapes my friend sean tedraji he's shittington uk on twitter he's the funniest guy on twitter rolling Stone selected him one of the top 25 funniest people on Twitter. He got her calling him and saying, he's going away and my ex-wife was dying of cancer. She'll be dead. He'll be in prison. I'm jerking off to the fact that she's dying of cancer. I mean, she's psychotic. And that's cool. I mean, I think that's anti-sex-sex hey women can actually try to harm could be malicious wow they're not these innocent flowers that feminism is i mean feminism changed somewhere where it's like women aren't people it's like they're innocent it's like well that's kind of condescending it's like with black people you know i want a black guy who's gonna fucking hate me for being what gonna be an absolute jerk off then i'll know we have equality i did the bit last night about boston strong and joe

biden coming out and saying well you know uh boston uh these people are resilient give me an opposed to two uh two things that count with him he went to a high school that i won a scholarship to but my parents wouldn't let me go because i thought i was a brat and hair transplants i had one one treatment my early 20s right here. That was the first metastatic. Right where you're fucking. You just, people don't know that you just pointed to your giant horseshoe scar on your bald head. Where your brain cancer came out.

It was exactly where you had hair transplants. Yeah, so it didn't do me any good anyway. So I just shaved my head. But I'm saying, the Boston Strong thing. with i just shaved my head but i'm saying like you you the boston strong thing these people in this specific geographic area they're resilient and they come back and they fight even harder as opposed to what other people who are known for being weak need and fall apart after a fucking marathon bombing women with the way you're saying women are all innocent you know because feminism says women are all innocent this well this chick uh when i was still in prison she went down for two

and a half months for consciously running over someone with her car now it was a bicyclist it was a mitigating circumstance there everyone hates bicyclists especially in portland so i had some sympathy for the crime but yeah she used a you know two-ton car to knock over some spindly hipster guy. On purpose? She yelled out, I hate bicyclists, and then ran him over. It's kind of tough to defend. But yeah, well, you have automotive privilege there. Your size advantage.

But it wasn't that outrage. And I think reproductively, okay, you could probably repopulate the earth with just one guy and 100 women but why do you keep getting stuck with fucked in the head girls I'm sure I'm fucked in the head in some way I'm sure that's but I'm almost like the eye of a hurricane like I'm I'm less fucked up than they are but they wind up I wind up absorbing the guilt when I first met you uh I don't know if it's the first time one of the times at Dante's I was playing there, and you said, hey, when you come to town, let's all do Viagra. Me and you and the other comics, Andy Andrus.

Let's all do Viagra to try to raise the level of testosterone in the room. Yeah, well, you had to. Just to see the effect. Yeah. And we thought that was funny and you're jim goad so we're gonna listen for a minute and then we realize we don't have any chicks here uh and you have a girlfriend so you take viagra you go home with the jew as you called her she was the jew yeah and we didn't we didn't even take viagra that night we know we didn't the

mushrooms we did the math they go we're not taking viagra sitting around with boners all fucking alone but we took mushrooms but yeah and then uh you guys went to the strip club she had a friend who threatened to kill himself while we're on mushrooms so we took a cab he stopped threatening to kill himself we went home we were fucking and i think i told you this last night she reached up grabbed my ear said what's that and i'm like it's my ear and she's like well what's it doing And I'm like, it's my ear. And she's like, well, what's it doing there? I was like, so thanks for the mushrooms. Good mushrooms. Jesus Christ.

And different mushrooms. They had like these cherry stems with flowers. They weren't the psilocybin where it looks like a spin. That was our friend Goose Kirk that we did one of our podcasts with who ended up getting locked up in a prison in Brazil. That's how I know him is doing mushrooms that night with you. He brought those mushrooms. It was after Harvey's. He handed me a yogurt container.

Yeah, yeah. Not Harvey's, Dante's. Oh, that's right. That's right. And he handed me the yogurt container and said, these are for Stan O'Plater. And at that time, I'd never even done mushrooms. Really?

And I had all the merch similar to the other night i've got the merch walking down the street alone back to the hotel after i dumped you guys off and you took the yogurt container and i saw you in the morning but you ever done psychedelics just to see how much you can take without going completely insane because we know no no i'm a chicken shit like people go wow you're fucking out of control i go not compared to the people i know that do this shit hard but what about that the time with you and tom rhodes holding on to the driveway we didn't oh that's when he yeah tom rhodes decided we needed to do one more dose but i'm not i goad

is a fucking maniac goad is like yeah he's the guy that will take a fucking load of viagra just to see how it you know changes the mood of the room like that's fucking crazy now i remember in philly we would do it we would have a ritual every uh christmas eve we would drop acid and then go stealing baby jesus's throughout the delaware valley and i remember we had we had a whole cache of them. Anyone who says, let's take acid and then. If you have a plan after the acid part, you're a psychotic. My friend Brom, it was his time to take the baby Jesus

and was connected to the entire lattice work of the entire Christmas display. Like the light or something that's plugged into it? The entire side of the building's lighting system came off and this guy chased us and we're in snow driving and he's like, alright, he's still making chase. Release lamb. We release the lamb from the nativity scene

trying to make him crash. We got out of it though. We never got arrested. We came out like a long line fisherman. There was a time we took acid and then put on uh fake mustaches pretending we were puerto rican tried to pick up chicks just just to see how much is that all it takes is a fake mustache we didn't score but it was pathetic but yeah it was almost like just this test of how much it wasn't to get any kind of

insight just to two friends only one's dead the other doesn't uh i don't talk to i haven't for years uh but they they did that where they we had a sheet of acid and they did like 35 hits over three days jesus yeah and uh well i know some people never came back no they they they came back that's the weird thing. One of them died accidentally. And the other one's like a city planner or something. And you were the guys that just went fucking hardcore. But I've got that credit. It's like, okay, obscenity trial.

Guy shot at the White House, quoted my writing. Three kids killed themselves, sent me their life savings. Prison, brain surgery. It's like, there's really nothing what am i you know i would pretty much have to die at wembley stadium in front of like you know at some marathon to top that so it's like it's enough now i'm just going to be normal and happy and yeah that'll be my performance i've had more suicides than standing ovations in the last three years and you got blamed for them?

Or thanked for them, but people, fans that have killed themselves, or people... Jesus Christ. Yeah, one two days ago, on my Twitter feed, where in the story, she left a three-minute YouTube suicide note. 16-year-old girl, sophomore.

And it's in fucking Louisisville where i have to play on tuesday that's awful and you know in her bio on whatever social networking book see she quoted uh me my suicide bit life's not for everyone uh life's like a movie if it sucked for more than half of it right it's probably not going to get great at the end no one should blame you for walking out early and they put that in the fucking that's horrible i i did a whole issue of my magazine on suicide and i say in the intro it's which magazine answer me answer only four issues 20 years ago but uh i said in the intro so that's what that's the one that kind of made your mark that's pretty much the stain that i

left on the world. Obscenity trial, White House shooting, suicides. Jack, my wife at the time. Tell me about the obscenity trial because I don't know about that. That was the rape issue of issue four, a college feminist at Evergreen College in Washington, which I think recently their principal said we have to make the school less white. That's his goal. Don't teach people to read and write and learn how to build things. Just make it less white that was that's his goal like not don't teach people to read and write and you know learn

how to build things just make it less white but she took uh she went into the bookstore saw it was horrified and went to the da and he came in and told them don't ever sell anything like this again they said fuck you and they got went on trial for promoting pornography and they had to prove that it had literary merit and we brought in all kinds of witnesses. It was taught at Berkeley. It was an example of an author who had post-traumatic stress disorder. The jury wasn't convinced that it had any value, but what they got off was a technicality that the newsstand owners did not know it was obscene when they were selling it. Then they turned around and sued the state and got like a million bucks, the largest civil rights. But why? It's like changing the channel. It's so ridiculous. But I thought it was going to get better. It's gotten worse, the largest civil rights. But why? It's like changing the channel.

But I thought it was going to get better. It's gotten worse over the last 20 years. Yeah, no, you were here when that kid was – I had an Uber fan that came in right before we started recording. You had an Uber Pupkin there. Yeah, Rupert Pupkin. Have any of your beliefs changed? You go, no, but I don't want to fight as much anymore

because I don't think people are worth it. You can't lift to all that stupidity. No, and it's not getting better. Yeah. That's what I've just learned that over the last six months because for this website I'm working for, Thought Catalog, I did a book about people who've stopped. Plug them again.

Thoughtcatalog.com. this website i'm working for thought catalog i did a book about plug them again thought catalog dot com he uh yeah he published his book of everyone who's harassed and threatened me online and uh after a while yeah because i used to think well i defend my words and i'll argue with anybody about it but you can't cure their stupidity and it's just i'm yeah they're idiots of a higher level that doesn't stop me from being an idiot just for engaging. They're not going to get it. Yeah. So, yeah, I yell about stuff like that. But I don't think I'm changing people.

And in the morning, fuck those people. Yeah. I think the proudest thing I've ever done was when we did Answer Me, we got huge in this small zine underground. And it got to the point it was like the crab in the bucket like these other zines just started getting jealous how much attention we got so they everyone who said it was issue two was genius by time issue three came out oh they're overrated so we pretended we were interracial lesbians from kentucky i got a friend in kentucky got a post office box we uh we actually we did like a hundred uh copies we tried to do the worst possible zine we could imagine. We actually smeared them with squid.

We pretended they were vaginally, like the two lesbians actually put their scent on it. And just hidden between all this death poetry and stop raping us collages and shit, there was an anti-goat, anti-answer me article in there. That was the bait. And we sent it out to everyone who criticized us. And sent letters to kentucky you guys are geniuses you put those motherfuckers where they are and just just playing on their sympathies like how could interracial lesbians be assholes that's you know they're saints now you know whoever used to be a scumbag a generation or two ago are like saintly they're untouchable like transsexuals you know if you

want to mutilate your genitals like it's not not my problem or issue but why is that like a great thing now and almost like it's bigotry i think there's a natural revulsion for that like yeah there's a natural revulsion for the dent in the fucking side of my head like i understand that i mean it's almost like a scar longshoreman scar or something but that's ingrained in you as a kid though when you see someone who has something different don't mention it don't ask don't be curious about the fucking dent in the guy's head when it's probably his best story the guy with a dent in his head has something to tell and you're trained from birth to not look at it look he's got nice eyes still focus on those

no it was uh well the story is i was getting i was epileptic as a kid would have night seizures always in the night uh but then it went 30 years without a seizure and i actually wrote an article about epilepsy saying like am i getting ready for the big one well little i know i started seeing these if you look up uh aura headache onRA on Google, it's exactly what it looks like. This jagged rainbow line. I'm thinking, am I having acid flashbacks? What the fuck is it? It went on for a couple months, and I would get migraines, throw up.

I woke up one morning, June 1st, 2008, felt it coming on. Next thing I know, there's ambulance workers looking down on me. Took me to the hospital. Plum-sized, benign tumor, sought it out. The reason there's a dent is they cut through the muscle, and the muscle never goes back. So if you had no muscles in your head, this is what you're seeing.

So muscle head is an actual thing? Oh, yeah. We were calling John Rocker that behind his back, but we weren't talking about his head. That guy was a walking steroid. He was amazing. He was fucking, yeah.

I was amazed. That story seemed so old to me that I thought he must be my age. He's only 38. He could still be hurling in the majors. Now you're going to bring him out to Bisbee? We're in talks with him to bring him to the Bis bisbee blues and he's you were there he was very interested still identify libertarian in theory yeah but it wouldn't work because libertarianism relies on the decency of human beings and i think in a small village it could work, you know, in maybe the B.C. times.

But the more people you make, the more humanity is, you know. Because one thing I noticed over the last five years, I don't know if there's like billionaires financing this propaganda, but libertarians are now depicted as sociopaths. Oh, yeah. And like Ayn Rand worshipped a serial killer but i i've noticed in uh how the the tea party which again i don't really pay attention so i can't argue but the tea party has been folded into the right wing where i thought the tea party was kind of more libertarian like just get the fuck off our back and let us just live our lives again i can't argue it but but yeah it seemed like an independent thing that they forced into one or the other so you you'll always have one or the other if a third party you know it has some

kind of springs out well we'll just say they're one or the other you're a liberal you're a fucking conservative no we're different we're just third party no you're one or the other but no we're trying to be the third no you can't i don't know well i don't trust human nature so i don't trust people who claim the right to take my money and yeah that's why libertarianism fails is because in a hey anarchy well that yeah in the same way i don't trust the government i wouldn't trust people without government so there's really no answer yeah i i think for a minute if there were no government shit would go haywire for a minute and then everyone would calm down i lived through the la riots and the theory was

that daryl gates it was the hard-knuckled asshole lapd cop he was he was the one who said that uh that because reporter asked him why so many black people are dying of chokeholds and he's like well they don't have windpipes like normal people he said that he said normal people and yeah he was but he's doing lectures meanwhile john rocker right just says i hate new york because of all this shit and people don't speak english yeah he's really oh yeah daryl gates they're not like normal people with wind pipes john rocker's not on the tour circuit for fifty thousand dollars he can't even open for daryl gates he uh he was at some banquet when the riots popped off and the theory was i don't know if it was ever confirmed, but he wanted to have people see what it would be like without cops.

And it was fucking terrifying. I mean, I was there in Hollywood trapped. Every building up and down Hollywood Boulevard was on fire. I could feel the flames. On Hollywood Boulevard? Oh, yeah. They fucking tore up everything yeah they burned hollywood boulevard frederick's got smashed a bit i would look out my window people were like

stealing like sleeping bags cases of hot dogs whatever the fuck they could get off hollywood boulevard and nobody black there was like just the heavy metal kids and uh and mexicans that's all yeah yeah just opportunists it's weird i just started thinking about where i would go for a sleeping bag on hollywood boulevard if i needed some camping store that would be the worst place to lose all you get is fucking bumper stickers and souvenir t-shirts i get a whole rack of i love hollywood glitter t-shirts well yeah all these like guys who like were in a previous incarnation of guns and roses like who are now in another metal band playing the strip who were stealing hot dog cases like it

had nothing to do with politics it was just the opportunity but yeah that's what i heard that daryl gates wanted people to see what it would be like without cops and probably pretty unless you didn't know how to take care of yourself well again that's in a riot situation but if we were just going home tonight and cops just stopped existing everything's fine everyone's just worried about malaysian air flight who gives a fuck and uh cops disappeared no i don't think that they'd be fucking rioting in the streets i mean if i look at it like psychology or psychiatry people who are fucked up are going to become psychologists and psychiatrists so a certain amount of people who want to crack heads are going to become cops but i couldn't do that job and that's one thing i

learned in prison there were guards that were psychological masters like they were just treated people right knew how to treat people and there was never any problem it was the assholes that caused problems I'm sorry I was stepping on you what you were saying there what's that you were going to say something and I talked over you no I was listening I mean

what you said that's interesting but I don't know you think if there were no cops all of a sudden everyone would treat each other nice and everything would be cool? It wouldn't be like the L.A. riots. No. It wouldn't be like, oh, no cops. Let's fucking go burn shit down.

Yes, people would be assholes, especially young people. Wasn't the libertarian idea that government wants to monopolize violence? Like take all the guns, just have all the ability to punish people. I think if there weren't cops, people would learn self-defense and take care of themselves better. I think people have been rendered babies by a government that's too strong. When you grow up, you're born into a system where you just assume you're going to be taken care of. As a kid, I was a middle class kid, and I never thought about taking care of myself. That's what the state does. That's the mindset. You go to school and then you do this. And if you get sick, the emergency room is there. And you never think, oh, well, some of this is going to be on me other than I have to get good grades. So you grow up thinking, hey, if I'm in the bike lane, it's illegal for them to drive here. So I don't look both ways. Yeah, well, fucking people will still drive through that that's why if you go to other countries there's fucking there's no warning signs

and railings on the side of the mountain walk up by the cliff going to you know machu picchu stand this far away from the thing because we got sued from the last person that fell out no you fucking fall off the cliff you look for a fucking cliff in those countries you don't have giant please they observe all the rules and things and wear a helmet and there's a safety strap grip tape on the edge of every pyramid right grip tape i saw you on youtube the other i was looking something you're in russia today saying that nothing's offensive to you. Well, there's things that are offensive to me, but not that I would say you shouldn't say that. The things that are offensive to me are lies on TV commercials.

Only Tabasco at breakfast? Yeah, that's offensive to me. A restaurant that only has fucking Tabasco makes me irate in the morning. The way I put it is like nothing offends me, but almost everything bothers me. Exactly. I'm going to steal that from you, and this podcast will never air. And then I'll say Jim Goad stole that from me. Constantly bothered by everything.

I mean, you put the toothpaste cap on, motherfucker, like everything. The minutiae. Yeah. And big things don't bother me. Free sushi the other day from the guy who bought us sushi. You still managed to complain about it at the show in Tallahassee. Oh, it was awful. Before a show meeting, the fan that just left here. Yeah.

Same guy? No, no, but if i saw if i met that guy at three o'clock in the afternoon where i'm not he's not supposed to be there and i'm the he's the only other guy in a sushi bar where i'm shuffled in in pajamas right and the only other guy at the sushi bar is like that guy stanhope hey you Hey. I can't make words at three in the afternoon. We just drove from fucking wherever. I remember, you know, Lester Bangs was. He was a rock critic that died at like 33.

No. Legendary rock critic. I don't even know music, much less people who critique it. Yeah. He was a writer too? Yeah. He wrote Elvis' Jewelry in some newspaper. And he said the worst sin an artist can have is to have contempt for his audience.

I'm like, well, that's been my whole act the whole time. I say that on stage when I look at my watch. I'll go, hey, young comics, don't ever do this and look at my watch because that shows a contempt for your audience. Showing contempt. Yes, the audience is the worst part of the fucking business well how does that help i mean your self-esteem when people who like worship you don't understand you at all isn't that like a do you get that a lot uh yeah i i try not to even listen anymore because it makes it's the one fucking guy that makes you crazy and then my brain will extrapolate that into every person in the

audience is that one guy. So, yeah. Like the guy who was here before. He was very nice, but I was uncomfortable. I was like, I didn't know if I was going to have to tackle him or what was going to happen. But then I don't like him for the same reason I don't like the guy that hates me, because you're both right. But you just, you don't like me, and he does. Yeah, you like me, you don't, but I'm not you, and what I feel about myself, but go ahead. I don't want to talk much on this podcast. With me, the ones that just naturally would hate me

or hate what they think I represent, they leave you alone. It's the ones who, like like worship you and then like they hang around for a picture and an autograph until you have to be rude and then they say you're all hollywood and shit then they really fucking hate you like for the rest of your life yeah those are always the the ones that are problematic and those are the only ones i ever pay attention to. I don't. I have 1,800 emails backed up in emails I have not ever responded to. But the one guy that's a fucking asshole, I'll fixate on him. I'll find out where he lives. I'll put hackers.

Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Yep. Do you know the Barbra Streisand song, The Way We Were? Okay. I was 12 years old. My momand song, The Way We Were? Okay. I was 12 years old. My mom was tooling us around through Delaware County, Pennsylvania. That song came on, and she says, it's the laughter we remember. And I said, Mommy, that's not me.

I remember, like at 12, I knew that I remembered the band. Yeah. I could have 100 people say something nice, and it's just the one jerk. Oh, this is something bad I'm obsessed about. That's universal. I mean, I think everyone has different degrees of it yeah i'm like full blown on that normal that's normal but i i look i again i said to that kid he said do you still have the same opinions you had on deadbeat hero which is 10 years ago and i go yeah but the importance has changed where i don't i wake up hating different

stuff so yeah i have the same opinion but it's not at the forefront of what bothers me today i had a fucking point with that and now i'm just thinking i have to piss it's been 10 minutes i haven't pissed this is like a miracle we're going on world record we could start raising funds at this point you know i was out of the room for most of the podcast just recap it for me real quick oh i'm a woman beating nazi uh that feels misunderstood basically not much beyond that but i mean the amount of action i got with chicks because of that is being perceived as being a woman beating nazi i mean i beat a woman back and went to prison over it. And I had a restraining order against her. Documented death threats.

Nobody ever wants to hear that. But I always bring it up because I think it's relevant. It wasn't. I was just going around. Obviously, this works. I get the chicks. It was kind of depressing because I thought I'd be a pariah. But I always tell the story.

The night I got out of prison in Portland, some friends took me to this hipster bar restaurant. And, you know, after you're in prison two and a half years, the guys there are a different breed than these beta males you see in Portland. And two things changed. I went from 98 to like late 2000. When I got out, suddenly cell phones and lesbians were everywhere. But I see these guys and they're all chicken-chested and apologetic and yes, dear. And I said, well, no wonder there's so many lesbians. Look at these guys.

I'd be a lesbian too with the way guys have become. Are you doing some kind of camp, some man-up camp? Man-up camp. I was actually, I know some, there were some guys in Chicago. I know they're about my age. I haven't been laid in years. I was going to try to pitch a reality show. Teach them game.

Be harsher with women. Be unapologetic. Be disinterested in them. Again, I really wish the world wasn't that way. If you were nice to people, that's not the way it works. Wishful thinking will get you fucked up every time.

Well, good. I'm caught up. We did a recap. Jim Goad. A cult figure as I get called You did kind of what I did I saw Linda Blair was on some TV show yesterday She said the cult classic The Exorcist How fucking huge do you have to be to not be a cult That's fucking no way

That Oscar nominated for best picture That's oxymoron Cult classic Exorcist Yeah There's fucking no way. That Oscar nominated for Best Picture. That's an oxymoron. Cult classic? Exorcist? There's no fucking way. At this point, people who are aware of that movie are so old that we're no longer relevant.

It's a cult classic. The only people who watch it today are cult people. It's like if you watched fucking... were you my favorite movie a cult classic war of the gargantuas all right but i'm saying what's the one you uh red rum not red rum bed bug what the fuck we just watched all right the shining no no the the sled is named fucking oh citizen kane rosebud yeah i saw that on acid before having living shit kicked out of me on acid hitchhiking the way we went down to like 40th street in philly to see citizen kane and all i remember there's one scene where a bird squawks and it startled me

otherwise i was too fucking high to understand what was going on and so we're hitchhiking home it's like late may nice weather out and four douchebags and a chevelle pull up and you know the key should have been two of the douchebags get out and sandwiches in between like front and back and they just beat the fuck out of us on acid i have i have the same kind of head where I have to stop myself, where just the most random story, I have a story that's so fucked up based off of, you know, hey, yeah, the McRib sandwich. And I go, oh, yeah, the McRib. I fucked a girl in the backseat of the car the first, or whatever.

So you just stop saying them because you're going gonna have a weird story based on whatever the conversation is oh that's where i got herpes is from the girl that she looked like uma thurman and oh sorry go back to your movie conversation uh i'm sorry yeah citizen kane you were saying no no no that's that is that a cult classic i enjoy the fact that you have this i'm somewhere below cult. I'm subterranean or something, I guess. Either way, the point is you moved here to fucking nowhere Georgia.

Yes. Last time we saw you, we were having the, back when we did the Death Valley parties, you were on your way with a U-Haul. To do a book about NASCAR. Yeah. I remember you stopped in for a night. I think we did drugs. All I remember is in the morning before you left, Andy Andrist thought you had pot in the car.

So he stripped naked or nearly naked and greased himself to slide through the open window, which he fit through without grease. He just wanted to fucking grease his naked body down. I think he wanted to have his shorts on and have someone slather him with the Vaseline or baby oil. It was a long week. And we did have pot in the car. Yeah, and he smoked one of your joints and then he woke up and go, what the fuck

are you doing? You had to be here. We just oceaned 11 to your car. That's when I was walking around pretending I was cooler than everyone, according to one comment. Did I say that? No, Inman said that. Oh, Inman said that.

You said that earlier. I'm like, I don't think I said that. He said that about everyone. Anyone who doesn't want to be engaged with him. No, he was cooler than Inman. So he walked around like himself, and Inman noticed that he was himself. And Inman realized he's not as cool and pointed it out. Is there anything wrong with that?

He's not being racist or classist. I guess not. He's just pointing out the facts. You were walking around like you were cooler than Inman because you were cooler than Inman. Without even trying. That was the crucial thing. I wasn't trying to be cooler than Inman.

It just came naturally. You didn't show up with some bad self-esteem looking for someone else who's worse than you going, oh, at least I'm cooler than Inman. You just were cooler than Inman. You would actually be cooler than Inman even if you had one of those hard hats with two beers and a straw coming down your...

Yeah. It's a low bar. What was the last time you hung out with... Inman doesn't understand that he's cool because he's a fucking nitwit. That's why we love him. We love the fact that his self-hatred is so funny to us.

But anyway... So that was the last time you saw me. Yeah, and you moved here to... I moved to Pennsylvania first to do the book about NASCAR, which fell through with a girl. Still talk to her once a year or whatever. A girl or a book? A girl that I was going to do a NASCAR book with.

She had done a book with Legs McNeil about the porn industry. We were going to do a book about NASCAR and lived at Legs McNeil's house. And I don't know if you know who that is. He did a book called Please Kill Me, an Oral History of Punk Rock. And just imagine, he was around that whole scene. He claims to have invented the term punk rock. He did a magazine called Punk in the mid-70s. It's not very punk rock to say, I invented the name punk rock, is it?

It's not very punk rock to be in your 60s and cruising MySpace saying that I was at CBGB's in 1975 to get laid. But he still does. Oh, nice. On MySpace saying that I was at CBGB's in 1975 to get laid. But he still does. Oh, nice. On MySpace? It was MySpace at the time, yeah. While he was engaged, he would cruise MySpace to bang punk rock groupies. But that fell through. I moved to Florida to finish a sex book and then moved up here.

So when that book falls through, you lose the place to live? You break up with the chick? It was this weird situation with the girl where it was unfeasible to even set it out this way, but I'm like, okay, we're going to do this book together. We can sleep together and have sex, but we're not ever going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not holding your hand

at the mall. People would ask you guys, and I'd say no. She wouldn't say anything but after about a year she started getting weird and checking text messages and accusing me of things and i actually once took a picture of my dick just to see how my dick was looking and she thought i was sending it to girls and it was one of those things where it just became like endless accusations if you don't stop i think that too All right. Who's taking a picture of their dick for themselves? This was the one time.

That's the only reason there's a camera on the phone. I'd be a bit suspicious. I wrote a whole article about it. I think I may have pioneered the cell phone dick pic and the art of sending it out. But this was an absolutely innocent time. Back before he coined punk rock himself. Yeah, before. You know what I did coin was coffee table books about coffee tables,

that whole Seinfeld theme. That was Kramer's idea, I believe. I wrote a headline for the LA Reader in 1990, the year Seinfeld first started producing out in LA. There were two books and this guy reviewed them. One was about coffee tables. One was about cloth. And I said, cloth coffee table books

about cloth and coffee tables. That was the headline. I don't think they consciously stole it. Maybe they did. They are Jewish. I'm not sure. But, you know, yeah, it became a meme, and I just never got any of Larry David's half billion dollars.

Did you ever have a chick that was upset you didn't hit her? She was only fucking with? Yeah, plenty. That were upset that I was nice. After getting out of prison, all I would ever do was walk away. I've had the Jew one that you met that I called the Jew.

She kicked, spit, screamed at me on the streets. I broke up with her, sent her back to her mom's. She seemed very nice. In a Jew-y way. Ten minutes of exposure. But she... The thing I...

When you break up with a girl that you live with, if you learn nothing from this, get your apartment key back. Because she came by about two weeks later. I just finished up with a girl like 15 seconds there's a knock on the bedroom door hey it's you know insert jewish girl to hide her identity and i'm like oh hey i just woke up hold on a second yeah yeah she came around the other way

to the other entrance burst and chased the half-naked girl down the hallway took the mattress, dragged it out onto the street and to the parking lot because I guess it had been our mattress and I had tainted it. I got back with her for a while. Do you have any exes that actually talk to you that you're friendly with? Yeah, yeah. Actually, the one that ran down the hallway that I'm still friendly with. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. The funny thing is actually a couple that I do talk to

from time to time are black. I mean, the stereotype, you'd think they'd go all Jerry Springer, but they were the coolest. I was a pioneer with white guys having sex with black chicks, too. I mean, many things I'm not credited for. Yeah. Sometime in the mid-80s.

You and Tom Jefferson. Yeah. High five, Tom. Yeah. I mean, when it was radical for a Michael Jackson video to be on MTV, I had a black girlfriend. You know, when it was risky. Now that it's not risky, it's like, why even bother? You get congratulated for it.

I don't want to be. Are you a bug chaser too? Yeah, I don't want to be. I used to fuck guys with AIDS back before Magic Johnson was fucking all thick and beefy. That's probably how I become an Eagle Scout. It's like I've had all these other traumas and scandals, but I'm probably going to have to get AIDS. I wanted to get to, because we've got to close this up, but living here, because you

are a fucking underground known person, and you moved to a place where nothing is like we did. So, Stone Mountain was... I'm actually out in Loganville, which is like 20 miles east of Stone Mountain now.

And it's right about a mile before you get into town, you see these signs, repent, Jesus, hell is real, Jesus. It's like, okay, that's the line between city and country. I'm about a mile into the country. All right. I've been there a little over a year. How big a town? I don't know, 10,000 something. Yeah.

It's still kind of on the outskirts. Atlanta metro area is like LA. It just fucking goes on forever. All right, so you're in the shit. See, we're not. We're 5,000 people, but they're cool people. It's like, I don't know what your equivalent here would be. Probably somewhere up like in Rapin County where Deliverance was filmed.

So you have neighbors and whatnot. You're this guy yeah yeah and they probably don't know who you are just look i look strange you fuck you're a 50 something year old shaved headed guy with a dent in his head you're not gonna be like weird to look at in fucking redneck country it's like boo radley and uh kill a mocky bird right he's like radley balco is what i was thinking yeah there you go you got kicked by a donkey with a shoe right like the house you stay away from the kids stay away from oh wait you know radley don't you i know of him all right yeah he wrote for

reason you wrote for vice yeah shit i should have followed up how'd you get fucked by vice uh well vice well still because usually the children of cocaine it's kind of stories now and you know the i don't read it that's my problem i read cnn.com and because i want to read what my fucking idiots you know fan base is reading briefly was wrong with i should be reading vice and going, let me teach you something rather than dispel something that you already think is true or a balance. You watch Vice. Didn't we watch it

at the Bisbee? Yeah, but they have a very well-updated website of different weird stories. They're the ballsiest. They're the fucking Johnny Knoxville meets 60 Minutes. stories they're the ballsiest they're the fucking you know johnny knoxville meets 60 minutes that guy rode with us in the van wasn't he right for vice

oh yeah let's not talk about that right now as far as i know the three guys who found advice were big answer me fans and they'll tell you that and that was that was my magazine that was the inspiration for them starting 15 years later when I had no job, I name searched myself and said that Vice was compared to Answer Me. So I hit them up for freelance stuff and I did it for about a year every month. And Gavin, who's no longer with them because he said something about not being ashamed of being white, which is horrible. I mean, how could you not be ashamed for your own skin color? He said it in the New York Times. Not being ashamed is different than being proud of.

Proud of being something you had no fucking choice in. Right, right. Yes, I think. But that's, I mean, that wasn't good for the advertisers. But he asked me to do an article. They were having a rainy day for kids issue where it was like highlights for children. And he wanted me to take stuff from my redneck manifesto

about literal white slavery in the colonies. Cause I mean, indentured servants were treated like rent a cars. I mean, there's voluminous information where the Irish slaves were treated worse than the black ones. Cause like you own a slave for life.

It's an investment. And so I did this article. Hey kids, it's time for some dumb myths and smart facts about slavery. I talked about how there's still slavery in Africa. And that's, Hey Kids, It's Time for Some Dumb Myths and Smart Facts About Slavery. I talked about how there's still slavery in Africa and the word slave comes from Slav. That it didn't just happen in the South. It's been universal. And they lost an advertiser because of it.

And not because there was anything inaccurate about the article. Because it was uncomfortable to see the neat little fucking morality play that they have shattered. That, hey, everyone's an asshole. That's what I preach for equality. Everyone can be a fucking asshole. I don't care what your gender, skin color. And I think they started squeezing Gavin out, too. He's on Fox all the time and has a million different projects going on.

But I only wrote for them once or twice after that again. And they put out, after that article came out, they put out some press release. We're going to grow up. They learned their lesson, you don't actually bring real history into this. Into the discussion if it's going to fuck up the religious fable that history has become.

Neighbors, I want to fucking know what your home life is like. I'm a fucking wreck right now. I am slumped in the corner of a couch thanking christ that you could fucking carry this podcast we had oh i had every hope that john rocker was gonna carry both you and i we could sit back oh yeah and let him talk because he's a fucking monster in the room and gone out to have a cocktail at the Irish Bar next door and come back in.

You could have driven to Bisbee and back. He'd still be talking. He was motormouth. He was fantastic. He's fantastic. People in Bisbee, you'll see if we can land this deal. John Rocker pitching for the Bisbee Blues. Go to PecosLeague. to PecosLeague.com.

PecosLeague.com. Find out there's a whole fucking new league for Bisbee baseball. Your neighbors. I want to know how much your life is like our life in Bisbee. Does anyone where you live know you? No, it's been that way. I mean, I've noticed this since, like since like the 80s and it's not just me i don't think people know their neighbors much anymore at all unless you're in a really small

town where we live you have to have you ever read uh bowling alone or any of the work of robert putnam he's a harvard i think he's especially psychology but he did uh he did what to my knowledge i haven't read fucking redneck man of pesto yet you gave me that like 11 years ago he uh he did the biggest study ever on diversity and he uh because you hear it's a strength and we get nice restaurants and harmony and rainbow i mean look up diversity on google images like you want to throw up and uh but he did like 10 years of studies 30 000,000 tests, whatever it was, and he didn't like the conclusion that it came to. So he ran his numbers and tried squeezing. Now it was like when society is more diverse, people are more paranoid.

They don't know their neighbors. They don't engage in – they're distrustful. And I think I've seen that over my lifetime. When I was a kid, we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Everybody up and down the block was either Italian or Irish, and they were all Catholic. I knew everybody. I could still probably tell you the first and last names of everybody across the block. I can't tell you the last time I lived anywhere where I knew more than maybe the next door neighbor's first name.

Maybe I'm just – I got more antisocial than the whole world did. But usually when – like the last square job I had was about six years ago and i think they didn't google me which is the only reason i got the fucking job by the time like you know two or three months later when they did it's like all right well he's he's weird but like he's normal enough that he's not this monster that you'd think just name searching me online so it works in my favor plus yeah the the uh the perks that i already mentioned and yeah it's a good screening thing because guys like that don't walk up to me and say hey i love you it's like they're afraid of me so it's like i'm spared that discomfort

this is i'm taking you off track but the fact that you did get a straight job after you easily googleable yeah wife beater woman beater prison time yeah but the fact that you can still get a job yeah you know you're fucking smarter there's people who have i can't do because i am this i can't get a job you know you can't if you're smart you can fucking figure it out. And you know what it is? If you tried rather than complained, yeah, you can find a grift in the system. Despite the public crucifixion, it's like, I think I'm right. I'm a stubborn motherfucker. And like, they're going to have to kill me.

I really think I'm correct. So that's why I haven't shut up. And those are the people. It's the stupid people that are the ones that you can always fucking trash you're hey you fucking stupid well those are the ones that can't get ahead because they're black or gay or been in prison or done this and that well i can't get ahead what's because you're stupid let's help the fucking stupid people those are the ones the only people that are okay to fucking shit upon are stupid people. Hey, let's give a leg up to stupid people.

Yeah, you were in prison. You can't get a job if you fucking, if you're stupid. Jim Goad. Sorry, cut this out. I'm drunk. No, it's stubbornness and it's spite. Spite. I mean, I love my son.

He gets me up in the morning. That and spite are my two motivators. I want to outlive anyone who's ever thought anything negative about me. That's my goal in life. And I could be wrong. Maybe I am the monster. I don't think I am. And that's what keeps me going.

You've always been good to us. There you go. We were trying to compare you to Joe Rogan. There you go. We were trying to compare you to Joe Rogan. They both have reputations. Being angry white men. Oh, really?

Yeah. And I go, no, I think... I'm angry, I'm white, I'm a man. Yeah, but not in the stereotype. Yeah, guilty of all three, but not in the way that it's stereotyped. Yeah, not a problem. Oh, definitely a problem too, but just not. Just don't fit the mold. I think that's what fucks me up.

Plug your site one more time. Thoughtcatalog.com and TackyMag, T-A-K-I-M-A-G. I've written over 300 articles for them. It's a Greek billionaire or multimillionaire, like an Onassis type. And he's this socialite. He's great. Google image that guy. He's like the 77-year-old Doug Stanhope.

He's the judo champion of the world for his age. He beat up Bo Svensson from Walking Tall like a year ago. The guy's like a foot taller than him. All he does is just have fun. So that's my boss on the weekends. It's Thought Catalog during the week. All right. And what's your address?

Let's see. Jgatjimgo.net, I think. I always give out my address because I dare people to make the trek. Or to send things to bingo. Or to send things to bingo. See, I give out my address. It would be about 20 people putting diapers on and getting rifles and just making a straight shot that's the difference

jim goad.net i don't know yeah that's for email at this point i don't don't even yeah oh yeah fuck you mister i don't follow anyone on twitter zero oh you yeah you have a bunch of followers but you don't follow anyone you have zero louis ck from what i remember has one so you had to out louis ck louis ck by having zero followers but that's i mean i'm autistic or sociopath it's a better way of life my friend asperger whatever it is all you neurotypicals would never understand that jury here? All us people without a horseshoe fucking implant on the side of their cranium. Have you ever heard that term, neurotypical? No. There's a certain, like there's an Asperger community, I guess.

And they look down and they're like, oh, you're neurotypical. Like they think they're an advanced species. And I read some manifesto and I was nodding in agreement with everything this guy said. I've read it out loud to people. They're like, I want to beat the shit out of that guy. It's like, well, I'm seeing something totally different here, so maybe that's it. We're all probably wrong, but that's the end of the goddamn podcast. All right.

This podcast brought to you by... Who were we brought to by? Tell me something you like, Jim Goad. Let's see. Actually, it was catered by King's Barbecue in Stone Mountain. King's Barbecue. King's. King of Kings.

Yes. King of Kings. Prepared by authentic Southern blacks. Negroes. I saw Negroes. I think we did say Negroes. Negro seasoned food. I saw their hands scooping it out of the trays.

With no plastic gloves like those people at Subway who ruined the environment with a different pair of plastic gloves for every sandwich tearing apart. This was honest, authentic Negro skin on the food. And there were wonderful sweet potatoes I ate. I just ate Chinky before you brought that in. But I told you, don't bring your pork bellies around here. I'm not a fucking Southern food fan. But those were some goddamn good sweet potatoes from Kings in where?

Lovely downtown Stone Mountain, which used to be the home of the Klan. The Klan revived itself in 1920. It's like 88 black now so the clan lost oh so where'd the clan gentrify i don't think the i don't think they really exist except for it up in a fucking kind of uh like hall of fame hockey jersey frame thing but they just they don't i don't really go out anymore it used to be in the clan but you know yeah they've kind of petered out. It's like black and white television.

Yeah, it's kind of like roller derby. Well, I guess that's back around. That's back. Yeah. It's a nest of lesbians. Domestic lesbians. No, a nest of lesbians. It encourages lesbianism, all that roller derby.

That's a whole different show. There you go. Whatever encourages. Yeah, anything that stops the breeding. Yeah, scissor up, ladies. Just stop blowing those babies out of you. I should shut up. I feel like I'm at the end of an open mic

where I'm trying to walk the crowd. Good Christ. I'm sorry, podcast listeners, but like my shows, I'm not always on. Bye. Play the mattoid. Part-time. Part-time. Part-time. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- And eat your eats, it's party time Laugh your laughs and eat your eats, it's party time Smile your smiles and do your blues, it's party time

Dance your dance and shoe your shoes, it's party time Howl your howls and suck your socks, it's party time Howl your howls and suck your socks, it's party time Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Everybody! Crap your crap, Sam Fuck your fucks, it's party time One more! Crap your crap, Sam

Fuck your fucks, it's party time Here we go! Party time, yeah! Party time, yeah Party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time. Hey! Party time, yeah! Party time! Party time!

Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time! Party time!