The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Episode #38: Bingo's Mom

Episode Date: August 12, 2014

Doug sits down with Bingo's Mom to discuss life and times with Bingo right out of the Looney Bin.This podcast sponsored by Coconut Milk. Make your own Coconut Milk - (http://youtu.be/fpxPoizVT9c )If you have a story for Doug you can leave a message on the Burner Phone,[phone].Recorded June 18, 2014 in Grass Valley, CA with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Bingo, Bingo's Mom and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille. Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes. Check Doug's tour dates at dougstanhope.com. Take a moment to register for 2014 Stanhope Tour news in your area, including the USA, UK, Europe, Australia and more. Additional dates added all the time.Thanks for listening. See you at the merch booth.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores are closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you In the end

La la la I like about you in the end. La, la, la. This is the Doug Stanhope podcast and we're doing this from Grass Valley, California on an off night with Bingo and Bingo's mom at Bingo's mom's house. Bingo's mom who just made homemade ice cream, mint chocolate chip after a delicious dinner.

As the sun sets, telling horrible stories about Bingo, showing Bingo's mother all the vines that we've made of us torturing her with fake bugs. And Andy Andrus in the background who I'm sure chime in at some point. And Greg Chaley on the controls. And thanks for dinner, Ma. It was wonderful. You're welcome. No matter what you say you're making, I just go, yeah, I like that.

But I did. And I'm always, yeah, it's always nice. We're going to get into bingo crazy stories. First of all, how awful is your daughter that she didn't even tell you that she was in Harper's Magazine. I don't know. I never heard that story. Yeah, it just came out like last month, two months ago. It was the May issue. So yeah, it came out in late April. It's a huge story about us on the road, but it's about

her as much as me. And I asked, Ron, your husband, I go, did, your husband. I go, did you send you a copy of the Harper's? What Harper's? You're a terrible person. What do you mean they don't read

Harper's? They don't read Harper's because you're not in it. And when you are in it, you should probably tell your folks. The only good thing... I hope folks. The only good thing. I hope so. The only thing I miss about, well, not the only thing I miss, but one of the biggest things I miss about my parents not being alive is I have no one to brag to anymore.

And you're just talking to your peers and they're like, oh, yeah, rub it in my face. Oh, yeah, rub it in my face. And Kelly, your daughter, the favorite podcast we ever did was In Bed With Her, the Pillow Talk podcast. You were in bed with my daughter? My other daughter? Yeah, that's what the whole joke was because Bingo wasn't there. She came to see us on the road in Montana. And I go, let's do this from bed just to make your sister uncomfortable

and we'll make you listen to that at some point but not now you were actually you took care of Bingo when Bingo was first Bingo and I met for those of you don't know we met after a show in Portland Oregon

when I was on the road like a comic and a lady in the audience often meet. Like the same way you met Sinatra once at Tahoe. Just kidding. Yeah, right. And then Bingo went crazy. She went to the loony bin. And you had to deal with this problem.

This is what, a dozen years ago? Of course. When did you go to the? I got locked up for the big time for a few months in 04. In Wyoming? In Wyoming. And so, and at that point, you're living in Wyoming. So when you get out, Ma's going to take care of the problem. They wouldn't release me from the hospital unless i went home with my parents

as an adult person actually i thought i was going up there just to visit you the old bait and switch now she finally had said i i wanted to go up sooner but she didn't want me to come up and so i went up and i stayed there for about two weeks i guess yeah the doctor said she would release her but they were kind of getting the meds sort of sort of which was not even close yeah not really close but it was better yeah and they don't want to keep paying for it so they're going yeah yeah, she's fine. She still barks at the moon, but she's fine. So you got stuck with, honestly, how much trepidation did you have going, oh, shit, she's 18. Isn't this someone else's problem now?

No, she was 27. But I'm saying she's over 18. Well, it's the scariest thing I ever did. Because you had to take her home. You were living in Tahoe at the time. You had the place in Tahoe. We had the place in Tahoe. Actually, I was going to take her to California, but then we decided it would be better to have her in Tahoe.

It's a lot more laid back. Yeah, a lot more remote. Yeah. A lot fewer problems. Yeah. yeah so a lot fewer problems yeah so anyway on the way home she would get a little spooked at you know she would see things that weren't there and sometimes when you know those uh big balloon like people that they have air going in periodically oh the wiggly arm guy yeah the wiggly arm guy yeah that really freaked her out when we passed one of those.

Did you tell her it wasn't really there? No. But then, the very first day she was home, full day. This is the bear story? This is the bear story. I decided we should go for a walk because she'd been cooped up for two months. walk because she'd been cooped up for two months. Cooped up is a great way to minimalize a horrific mental institution.

Ah, you've been so cooped up. Stretch your legs. So you go out in Tahoe. So we take a walk and we get ready. Which is kind of a big step for her. Like just going out in public just for a walk. Yes. Scary, probably. big step for her like just going up going out in public yes just for a walk it's scary probably yeah so anyway we were coming up to a house and i told her i said now don't worry i said these people have a big black dog so don't think it's a bear so we get closer to the house

the garage door is open and i'm skittish about everything at this point. I freak out about everything. So what comes out of the garage but a real bear? And a couple of days later. How did she react? Did she freak out? No, actually she didn't do too well. Did you freak out going, this is not a dog, honey.

Let's don't pet the dog. Well, I just told her to get behind me. But I don't know. It was a few weeks later or a few days later when she was feeling a little bit better, she told me, she said, Mom, it's not nice to mess with mentally ill. That happened to me the first time i did acid where i i had enough people that told me the art this is how it's gonna go don't panic at any point you're gonna feel like this and what have you and i had a great night and at one point we were outside smoking cigarettes and i was looking

at the lawn and every blade of grass looked like it was moving like an earthworm and i go i know it's not a sea of earthworms but it looks so cool because it looks like that and just to make sure i got down on the sidewalk to look at one specific blade of grass that seemed to be wiggling and it that happened to be an earthworm so there was a fraction of a second where i'm going oh my god like this is definitely an earthworm maybe there's a whole lawn a second where I'm going, oh, my God. Like, this is definitely an earthworm. Maybe there's a whole lawn. And then I got a coincidence. Got it.

Got it. Good ride. I'm sorry. Every time you come to my show, every time I play in Sacramento, I always feel worse because I'm like, I don't have any new stuff to make fun of her parents about. Well, you seem to come up with something every time. I do, but I really have to stretch myself. Well, the first one was the best. The first time, do you remember the story?

Oh, by the way, the closer that is to your face, the better the audio is. Yeah. Okay. Just like that. If it's almost touching your chin, it's perfect. Okay. The first time was at the Purple Onion. Yes.

In San Francisco. And we had been up all night or quite a bit of the night, the night before. And we were doing some cocaine. And then we're going to meet you the next day. For the first time, I'm going to meet the parents. And the purple onion seats like 60 people or something. It's tiny. You can see everyone.

And I don't know how I said it. I probably made... I brought up the fact that I'm meeting you for the first time. Well, what you said was, you're in for a good show tonight. It's meet the in-laws night. Yeah, so I brought up the fact. And of course, everybody, and you pointed us out. Yeah.

So every time you got really dirty, everybody turned their head and looked at us. That's it. That's what people. I had told you. I was just like, stand up. Just don't bring that up. The first thing you don't bring up the cocaine. Just don't.

My parents. And then because dad was a pharmacist and you turned him and you're like, but don't worry. I said, yeah, we were up all night doing cocaine. But but don't worry, dad. I said, yeah, we were up all night doing cocaine, but don't worry, Dad. It was really good cocaine. Yes, that's right. Really good cocaine. Good blow.

Ma said tonight at dinner, she said, I don't know if you're getting less offensive or if I'm just getting more used to it because I cringe a lot less. I can't offend my mother-in-law de facto. They had a story of the first time you and Brooke went up to the hotel room. Oh, well,

I had a wedding. Was that Vegas? Oh, it probably was Vegas for her 30th birthday. And you knew we were coming. Of course. Up. Of course I did. And you had taken a shower and you left yourself naked.

Answering the door like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you guys. I didn't give you a big hug. No, you did. You did. Big wet naked hug. I just wanted you to feel at home. Do you have any idea how many opening acts have been tortured by your daughter's constant nakedness?

I don't even notice. It's like her blue hair. You just stop noticing. She just always is naked in the hotel room and the openers who come over or comics passing through town stop by and she's just walking through butt naked i get it from dad and i don't even know i was just getting ready to say that dad does that dad does it all the time i get it from dad well all of my kids friends knew that if they came home with any of the girls you had to open the door and holler and say ron do you have your clothes on before they came in the house and you wonder why she went batshit crazy ron's a lovable man but i wouldn't want to see him walking around naked.

All right. Bingo crazy stories. I got a list here. I've been jotting down some of the ones because we've heard them, but I want to hear them from you because you're not crazy party people like we are. You're a nice state staid, you just came back. You still have makeup on from taking a picture for the church, what, alumni? Directory. Directory.

Church directory. The church directory. They're fine people. Why doesn't your daughter have any of your housekeeping skills, by the way? She's the biggest slob in the world. Where does she get that from? She's a slob in the world where does she get that from she's a slob hoarder all right okay so yeah oh naked there you go that you when you had her out of the mental institution you have her hole up in tahoe yes and got to a point where you could occasionally leave for a couple days. Once in a while I could go over and stay with Ron.

And it was safe to leave. I felt like it was safe to leave her alone. But this was after a while. Mom couldn't leave me alone. For about five months. Yeah, for about five months. I had to stay with her. She was with me at all times.

See, I would never care about anyone that much. You don't have to. see i would never care about anyone that much because again to me when i met her still kind of batshit crazy we'll get to that met her the second time i met her initially in portland and then we kind of kept vague touch over the a couple years there but uh like it was funny to me i thought oh my god when when she'd spin out and she would verbigerate which is almost like speaking in tongues and she'd just say looped sentences that are not actual words but she's having a complete conversation because that's funny to me because i have that kind of humor but But you, like, how did you spend your days? Played a lot of games. And then when things got bad, I'd go in my room or take a walk.

It was ugly. Well, we had good times, too. Yeah, we did. But it was really ugly. It was a roller coaster. Did you think she was going to come out of it? I had no clue. I actually thought she might live with us for the rest of our lives.

And then you started looking at real estate that had a basement, a cellar with a chain. Kay, what's that sound coming from the down? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. It's rats. We've got a rodent problem. Don't worry. But she would sit in the window when you went away.

Well, when I came back, she would be sitting in the window. Because mom would leave me for maybe overnight. She'd start with just overnight. Yeah. And you'd be sitting there like a puppy. Like a little kid or yeah but i'd wait at the window like for hours for her be there just waiting at the window for mom to come back and then she would say i'm so glad you're home mom and it would break my heart

she broke our heart the other day. We were, we pretended to leave her. She's in Nashville and she still won't get out of bed. And there's this vintage shop across the street that was closed for the time we were there. And we, our one chance to hit it is leaving town. She'd been looking in the window.

We go, we just, we just yelled. All right, bingo. We're going to that vintage shop. Have your stuff pack. Cause we got to leave right away when we get back and then shut the door,

but then hid in the kitchen. She's yelling guys, guys, guys. And then running down the stairs to try to catch us before we left her alone. Guys. So sad. Such sadness in her voice. That's now it's running catchphrase guys uh and she went through a period because even when i met her she had these diets

when i first got together with her she would only eat uh whole wheat tortillas with sweet, not sweet and low, but the other one, Splenda. She put Splenda on top of a whole wheat microwave and then a tortilla and then microwave it. So it smelled like chemical fire, like there was some dump on fire somewhere. And then she would eat this. But that's the only thing I will eat is one thing. Whatever it is, it's just one thing. I have one. During one tour, it was Vienna sausages, which we had a case of them,

and I never saw her eat one, but we always had to have them in the car. And pumpkin right out of the can. Tell her about the pumpkin. Oh, yes. That started when Mom was around. When we were living over in Tahoe together. You'd bring her out to the grocery store eventually. That was like

her first... She filled a whole cart full of nothing but cans of pumpkin. But Mom let me shop by myself, so I took a cart by myself and then filled it up, found the pumpkin aisle. But I did make her take a bunch of it back. Like a hundred bucks worth back. I mean, the whole cart, the whole entire cart was filled with a can of pumpkin.

Which the funny part is that that's what you always would give to the canned food drive. Is the pumpkin pie filling. Like, this has been in here for four years. Give it to the homeless people. No one wants this. Oh, Bingo wanted all of it. But that's the only thing I ate for much, mom. She ate so much that she

finally turned orange. From the beta carotene. Beta carotene, and the doctor said, I think you better be stopping with the pumpkin pumpkin i had to move on to something else but it was always no matter what i ate for months and for every meal it would be the same thing whatever it was but she was actually i just threw out the last of those pumpkin cans not too too long ago, I decided to... Ten years later.

It was like I looked at the expiration date and it was well past it. The best way to get her off of any weird diet like that is she'll go out and she'll buy the Vienna sausages. We had a whole shelves full and then she decided she's not into it anymore. She just bought like

eight cases of this shit. She still does that. I'm trying to think of what there's cases of in the house that you're like, ah, never mind. With the juicing, you guys got the Vitamix juicer, the blender, and you get all the stuff, but then instead of putting juice or water, or

coconut milk, that's something that turned us on here, but she gets the green drink. She gets the most expensive thing. It's more expensive than gasoline. I mean, per gallon. Yeah, it's a kale drink, and then she just puts more kale in it.

Why don't you just buy more kale for the cheap and put water in there? And it's the same thing instead of spending $4.99 a piece. Well, if you look on the ingredients to those, it's apple and pear juice. You can buy that and then mix it with your own kale. Right. Or put an apple in there. Or a quarter. They're picking on my daughter now it's cyclical

hang on all right was your mother even around for the uh the sloth story i think i heard something about it but it wasn't it was after you went to live with Doug no it was when I was living with you oh but you started leaving me alone for a couple of days at a time so it was where you got blood work it was where I had to get

blood work and they had a sign up for Lamaze class which I signed up for because I thought I was pregnant. I never knew that. She thought she was pregnant with a sloth, and she really believed it to the point where... Well, I found this later

because I couldn't remember a lot of the things that I had done. But about a year later, I went to visit Robin in Portland, and he had baby announcements. And it was mine. It was my handwriting. It was my everything. And there were baby announcements sent out. And I was just like, oh, my God. I hope I did not send any to relatives.

But I sent some to friends. Which is hilarious. There was so much brilliance. Aside from the really scary parts, there were brilliant moments where I think you have. I don't know that I would call that brilliant. No. When you first came to the Death Valley party, you gave us this whole album where you had written lyrics to a song all over her naked body in places with her own you know she has inimitable handwriting it's beautiful yeah totally unique

and so there was a song there was a cd of the song with the lyrics written all over her body and she did that at our yeah at the house in tahoe but what i do when you were and it was and when i came home she was totally naked and all this beautiful writing was all over her body and all over the mirrors in the bathroom yeah but it was very poetic and beautiful and and sad but fascinating very fascinating she did that when uh we got together in montreal we were first getting together and she came flew up and i was doing the comedy festival there and she just did that whole the entire bathroom oh she had done which now she did it we're an old couple. I'd go, Jesus Christ, I'm going to have to pay a security deposit on this.

But then I didn't even care. I was in love. Oh, what about? I'm not saying I'm not in love with your daughter. I'm talking about the retarded part of being in love where nothing else in the world matters. Right. And what about the retarded part of being in love where nothing else in the world matters. Right. And what about the red driveway? Oh, yeah.

When we first moved into Bisbee, she painted the driveway not just red, but glitter. She got glitter. Tell us. Well, I think someone in Bisbee just taught me how to use the internet. So I was able to buy like pounds and pounds of red glitter. But it was just a manic state. It was just a manic state because I have to do something when I'm in that state. Right.

But when he left, hot gluing all the shoes to the walls and shit like that. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. All my shoes all the shoes to the walls and shit like that. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. All my shoes were hot glued to the wall. I didn't hear this story. Again, I was in love. It didn't bother me.

I know. You're so scary. Yeah. Well, we put a lot of work into that house over the years. So, yeah, if you glued hot shoes to the wall, maybe we should talk about these things together. I don't even want to tell the story about the stolen signs, even though the statute of limitations is up.

Could I still go to jail for that? No. You can tell it then. Well, you can plead insanity on any of this shit. And you got papers. Do you know the story? I came home off the road. Oh, we already told it on Stern?

No, Stern wouldn't let us tell this one either. Oh, yeah. We were on. I just moved to Bisbee. She had just moved in. I was on the road. She stayed home for whatever reason. This is before we put the fence in. And she went out on a manic spree stealing

street signs. How many street signs? I think it was 34. It was in the 30s. Oh, wow. And just going out standing on the hood of the Toyota truck. Right. On the roof. Oh, the roof. And she'd pull up to a sign and just unscrew giant signs.

By myself. You know how big Bisbee is. 34 signs is probably half their signs. And she put them up on every wall at the house. Covered every wall. At Van van dyke and i come in like some old traveling salesman honey i'm home you know it's like nine o'clock at night i just drove back from a road i was so excited for him to see this i've been working on this for non-stop for you know without any drug without anything if you're that manic you can stay awake for days and days and have that much energy i was it's superpowers and and i come and i walk in and i just immediately freak out i'm dropping the

blinds because the mailman comes by here every day you can look through the front window and see every sign from bisbee all over every wall i was like you can can't do this. And she was so hurt because she thought I didn't like it. It looked great. That's not the point, honey. It's probably a huge felony. So then how she had the strength to actually, some of these signs, not only take them down. Did you have tools? I had tools.

I had a makeshift tool belt. And how big was the biggest sign? Enormous. The biggest one didn't fit in the back of the pickup truck. And I got it not only down, but I put it up on the wall by myself. And it took three

people to get it off. Two people. It was me and you because we did it that night i started tearing the shit down and we threw it all in the back of the pickup truck why my heart was so crushed oh and i go we i have to get rid of this under the cover of darkness so about four in the morning i went to one of those border roads down by the airport where it's a road that uh like a frontage road for the border patrol and i knowing that they'd find it there and i just dumped them all out of the back of the truck like what are we gonna do that's a huge felony so uh yeah but it

they looked good they didn. They looked real good. Did you take pictures? Yes, I did. I took pictures of the entire house because it was fantastic. But you could go to jail for the G's. And she was just hurt that I thought it was never entered her mind. It might be illegal. No, it never.

Yeah. What's the what's the animal shelter road called toveryville road see that's a big long sign that's a big that's a big word that's a big long sign i take it that was one of them you got bisbee airport sign uh mile markers stop signs i'm going honey don't take a stop sign because people crash into each other, honey. She goes, you don't like it? It's not the point, I don't like it. You can't just take...

It's like turning all the lights green. I like green, but honey, this is bad for... Oh, it's not well. I don't know if you're well still you're just different crazy yeah all right hang on this that the other thing so how long was uh how long were you the uh caretaker from About seven months. Seven to nine months. And then I moved in with you, Sam. And then, yeah.

I was let out for about seven months, and then I moved straight in with you. Yeah, you moved in with me pretty quick. Was there a point? Because you let her go. She emailed me. We had kept in contact over the years vaguely. Occasionally, it was always her. Hey hey just uh checking in i haven't talked i've moved to uh new orleans i'm learning how to play saxophone hope you're good and then one was uh i'm living in wyoming and i'm doing this and that and then

the third one right before one of our legendary desert parties in Death Valley. She emailed, hey, I'm coming to see you in Hawaii. By the way, I've been locked up against my own will. I was 5150 to spend the last few months in a mental hospital in Wyoming. And I've been staying in Tahoe and I haven't spoken to anyone. However, it went. And I said, no, you said, quote, your doctors would advise against this but come to my desert party yeah my show in hawaii got canceled but we're having a desert party just down the

road from you if you're in tahoe your doctors would advise against it there will be a lot of hallucinogens and other hijinks etc i don't think she told me that. No, I probably didn't. But I pretty much guessed that that's what would be there. And this is the first time she had gone out to socialize on any level. Well, this is the first time I had driven outside of going to a supermarket. Yeah. So for mom to let me go was insane. And just down the street is like six hours. Yeah, down to, yeah.

No, it wasn't here. This is somewhere else. No, I'm saying from Tahoe to Death Valley, she's going to let you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I say right down the street, like I said in the email, it's right down the state, six hours away. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, it was pretty frightening. But it was something she wanted to do.

And she was 27. There had to be a little bit of you that are like, you know what? Maybe bears will eat her. No. I don't know. I just was hoping she'd be okay. Maybe she'll join a cult and then I can sleep. I just need to sleep.

This is the second time I've taken care of a baby for a year. It's the same woman. I was very much like that, though. Yeah, and she showed up at the Death Valley party. I remember we were all sitting out on the porch. But I was rebutterating back then. You were shaved-headed bald with those Lisa Loeb glasses. And I'm like, who's the bald chick?

Because people don't show up to that place randomly. But I had no idea who it was. Oh, even though you had invited her. I didn't know that she was a bald woman. Yeah. I mean, she's crazy. And he didn't think I would come. Yeah, I didn't think you were going to show up.

Oh, so you really hadn't told him that you were coming for sure? No. No. Oh, so you didn't know that. Yeah, we're all sitting around. That year was a banner year, so it was probably 80 people there. And then some random weird bald girl shows up. And then you walked in and then walked out So I thought maybe she's stopping

To get directions And finds out it's closed for a private party So then We hadn't seen each other since we had met Which had been how many years? It had been probably Five years or so More than that probably

Yeah roughly So I didn't know what he looked like again but i just kept casing the joint and then i finally heard his voice to where i knew he was sitting over here he was eating right at the time and i didn't have the courage to go up and talk to you so i just went back to the truck i spent a lot of time just sitting in the truck yeah it was hours between when i saw you come in and then when you finally came up and then I finally went up and you came down the stairs of the side house and um you just said hi my name is Doug Stanhope and I was like my name is Amy Bingaman and then you freaked out and I freaked out and it was yeah and then then

as I said her doctor would advise against it. Someone gave her mushrooms. Probably me. They were going around. And then she went into, oh, you don't seem crazy at all. Oh, shit. We shouldn't have given her mushrooms because she stood in this little circular driveway.

All that's at this place is a 15-room motel with a bar and restaurant. I've been by it. Oh, cool. Oh, yeah. That's where Doug had his desert parties. Yeah, and she's standing in that looped driveway just verbigerating, talking to the moon,

shuffling and fidgeting, and her eyes are not anywhere on this planet. Yeah. So people would take turns like holding onto her. Right. For support. And she just wanted to hold onto someone and she was happy and she's

laughing, but the words that she's saying are not real words. And like, I remember hail Satan. You spent almost an hour out there and then someone else took over. And then you could hear a couple of the creepers going, Oh, that girl, like, like, Hail Satan. You spent almost an hour out there and then someone else took over. And then you could hear a couple of the creepers going, oh, that girl. Like, like, like, oh, I think she likes me.

Kind of. We could take full advantage of this situation. I'm like, all right, we got to bring her in and keep her away from the wolves. So we brought her in to our room and she uh yeah was safe there and then a couple months later i moved down yeah she's living in bisbee and you were your mom was going i don't care if he's a serial killer she's she's out of my goddamn house. I don't think so. I'm not sure what that guy does for a living. That was hard to see her leave, too. You must have, what did you think? I mean, this is all pretty crazy.

I don't know. By that time, I just, I just took one day at a time. All right. A lot of people thought I was, I had lost my shit at a time. All right. A lot of people thought I had lost my shit at that point because I just left L.A. and moved to some random weird town, and then all of a sudden I split up with my wife, and now I have a bald, crazy girl living on the border. People came to check up. They flew in to check up on you.

Yeah. Oh, really? Under the auspice of, yeah, we're going to visit you, the border and like people came to check out they flew in to check up on you yeah they're really under the auspice of where yeah we're gonna visit you just to see like has he gone colonel kurtz from apocalypse now on us or what's going on uh yeah but yeah there was some crazy days people crazy days the sun's dropping on this podcast any other stories you got ma oh i can't think aren't you glad i didn't ply you for information on how you and ron spice up your love life oh yes i'm glad you didn't bring that up i brought it up at too many shows live i always love embarrassing you i always love visiting here i have a diet pepsi can from the last time I was here about 14 months ago with Junior Stopka.

And this is the can I used as an ashtray. And every time I've seen you when you're down at the house or wherever you go, your cigarette can is still waiting for you in the flower pot. And here it is. Faded. Sunbeaten. Well, every time I pass it, I think of you you guys we had a great time when you were here i did my mother had a great time i had a great time with your mother the viciously born again christian lady we had a blast i wish she here now. I'd have her on the podcast talking about how she did her own plastic surgery.

She's got good stories. She does. I'm always one cocktail away from saying the wrong thing that I was not supposed to talk about in front of the other person. And you go, no, it'd be funny. This is always that one cocktail. And I hit that cocktail, but she was funny. Yeah, she was. Didn't break up any families.

What are we going to play tonight? We can't have this night end without playing at least one board game, card game. Oh, Boggle? I don't know. Boggle? I love Boggle. Is that Boggle? Yeah.

Or Bananagram. I think I never figured out. Bananagram. I think that's the one I hate. Anyway, we'll save this for after talk. Hey, you get to name our sponsor. Something you like, Ma. Yeah, we're sponsored by, and just something you would like to promote or a product you enjoy or a place you've been,

because we're not sponsored by anyone so we just tell them we're sponsored by shit that we like like plastic jug vodka but when you're the guest you get to pick our sponsor coconut milk coconut milk not even a specific brand just get get out there and enjoy coconut milk it It keeps Ma regular. She's got the, not the brand name Squatty Potty, because that's stupid. No, Ma doesn't have Squatty Potty. They sell that thing that you use to keep your knees above your... When you poop, Bob. When you poop. The poop box.

I have no idea what you're talking about. You put your legs up on something so your knees... You're squatting when you poop? Yeah. I put my feet on a stool. It's a squatty potty. Right. I know.

Now they sell that. That's a common thing on podcasts and internet radio called the squatty potty. Because it's more natural. Exactly. And that's what they, but they sell this where you go, I could get two phone books. How do you have a product? I just buy a little stool. Yeah.

You know what? You should have got a good name i could have made a lot of money yeah patented it yeah squatty potty and i'll just for the listeners who aren't at all my sacramento shows ron your husband lives on this beautiful compound here on the hills in grass valley because it has hydro electric running through the play. And that's his hobby, I guess. Kind of.

Yeah. So you make your own power and you see, if you have extra, you sell it back. He called us once and he said, I need a good name for my hydro electric company. Now that we moved into the new house. Yeah.

As a business, think up a good name and i go well your wife's name is gay call it gay power and put a big sign out front of your house gay power if you really loved your wife i guess assuming he'd do it he didn't do it i thought he would go that's brilliant i'm gonna do that so one day I'm going to take him by the hand down to City Hall or wherever you go and we're gonna incorporate gay power and I'm gonna buy the giant sign

for your house gay power thank you gay thank you bingo thank you Greg Chaley let's go play boggle play the bat toys oh yeah mom say oh wait Thank you, Greg Chaley. Let's go play Boggle. Play the mattoid. Oh.

Yeah, Mom, say, oh, wait, you forgot to play the mattoid. Oh, wait, you forgot to play the mattoid. Play the mattoid! Part of the time. Part of the time. Party time Drink your drinks and eat your eats. It's party time. Laugh your laughs and eat your eats. It's party time.

Smile your smiles and do your blues. It's party time. Dance your dance and shoe your shoes. It's party time. Dance your dance and shoe your shoes. It's party time. Howl your howls and suck your socks. It's party time. Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks. It's party time.

Crap your craps and fuck your fucks. It's party time Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks It's party time Everybody! Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks It's party time One more! Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks It's party time

Here we go! Party time, yeah! Party time, yeah! Party time, yeah! Party time! Party time, yeah! Party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, hey! Party time Party time