The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Episode #42: The Plaza with Tom Rhodes, Glenn Wool and Andy Andrist

Episode Date: October 2, 2014

The day before the show at the Plaza in Las Vegas, Doug talks highs and lows of the past Panamint Springs parties with Tom Rhodes, Glenn Wool and Andy Andrist.Panamint Springs Resort - panamintsprings.comTom Rhodes - tomrhodes.netGlenn Wool - glennwool.comAndy Andrist - andyandrist.netRecorded Sept. 26, 2014 at The Plaza in Las Vegas, Nevada with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Tom Rhodes ( @_TomRhodes), Glenn Wool (@GlennWool), Andy Andrist (@andyandrist) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille. Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes. “Doo Wacka Doo” by Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra obtained through publicdomain4u.com.Check Doug's tour dates at dougstanhope.com. Take a moment to register for 2014 Stanhope Tour news in your area, including the USA, UK, Europe, Australia and more. Additional dates added all the time.If you have a story for Doug you can leave a message on the Burner Phone,[phone].Thanks for listening. See you at the merch booth.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores are closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you In the end

La la la I like about you in the end. La, la, la. Tom Rhodes is finally here. Tom Rhodes can explain. Hey, buddy. Hello, sweetheart. You're off mic, Rhodes. Come on. You're killing us.

We were out. There's a cold Pepsi right here. Is it cold? Well, it's cold enough. There's ice. There's ice for it to make it. It was cold when you should have been here. Yeah.

Tom Rhodes. Hey, this is the Doug Stano podcast, by the way. We're in Vegas. The only ones with mics are Andy Andrist and Glenn Wool. Hello. And Tom Rhodes just showed up. He said he'd be here in an hour, about two and a half hours ago. And we planned our drunk.

Glenn Wool and I were planning our drunk around you, and now we're way drunker. And we said, fuck him. We'll just start podcasting. Yeah. So, yeah. I think Chaley's trying to find a fourth mic all right all right quiet off mike all right so where were we ah hanuman philosophically death valley party was that what we're talking about

yes well we put the swimming pool in room four. Okay, well. Just cleaned out all the furniture and stacked it up and put a kiddie pool in the motel room. And they came down. And someone who was at the front desk when housekeeping came in and said, they have a swimming pool in room four. She goes, don't worry about it. Yeah. Is that code? Is there a fire?

How many years did we do this? Seven years. Seven years of the party. Okay. So seven years of having this party out in Panamint Springs. How did you find the place originally? I was opening for Louis Black. I played Vegas, and then I was opening for Louis Black in Bakersfield.

So we're just trying to find back roads just to amuse ourselves because we had time to kill and days to kill. And we drove past that spot in Panamint Springs, and we're like, fuck this. We've got to stop. Hennigan was driving ahead of us, so we had to leave him messages. Come back. Get back here.

Come to this place. And he had to wait until he got cell phone service to get the message and then drive 30 miles back. So we hung out there. I don't know if we spent the night that night, but we decided. We go, we have to have a party here. It's so in the middle of nowhere. I just drove it today, and it's so much like you get off 395, I think it is. And then when you get into Death Valley, it's like you're in a different planet.

You're driving down into the crater of the moon. And then in the moon, there's a place with a few snacks and 12 cabins and a guest house and then camping accommodations. Can you imagine trying to be a hard-ass cop in the middle of Death Valley? Like, they'd just kill you. Like, once you fucked kill you. Like, they're so, like, I'm going to, like, once you fucked with somebody too much, just be a bleached skull in the middle of the desert and like, oh, that cop, I don't know what happened to him.

Well, after, like, we did seven years there, and after, like, year four or five, there were reports, like, even from the locals that locals that oh that guy's on that was a cop undercover trying to sniff out what's going on but some of that was just inman being paranoid right i mean most of it says you know it's better to be paranoid and wrong yeah because i i would think that just yeah i would think that just, yeah, I would think that anybody who's out there, it would be like, you know, that's like Lone Wolf. Like, that's a detective who's out there. You know, the captain hasn't seen him in weeks.

That's a guy that's just making up shit just because you don't want to be a cop for nothing. You don't want to be a cop in a peaceful town. That's against every reason. You want in the shit. I want to plant this. Most of being a cop is just sitting around. Well, is that a bad thing? That means nothing's going on.

Is that a bad thing? You hate the lack of crime, you cocksucker? Yeah, I just love noticing rapes. That's why I got into this business. Noticing? I never look. It's like an accident. You don't want to notice notice.

Because of the cameras. You don't want to be ambivalent. Do you have any idea where you were going with that? We were talking about the pool in room four. You were at some story, and I went, wait, let's fucking hit record. I think it was when we Schlissel tried to go to bed early one night

like an idiot, and everyone dressed up like a marching band, or it was... Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Like, sort of kicked his door in, and we all just came into his room, and he sort of burst out door in, and we all just came into his room, and he sort of burst out of bed, and he was like, what time is it?

Who is this? Schlissel. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, like the time had anything to do with anything. Like, I've got a marching band in here, and it's 3 o'clock in the morning. I ordered this for 5. As I drove through today, I saw three different coyotes wandering around. I was wondering, did I not notice them before because of all the hallucinogenics?

You just thought they were your buddies. Now they're all around. They're like beggars on the side of the road now. Yeah, they noticed you. He's back. I thought I was a coyote. Tom Rhodes is on mic now. Tom Rhodes. Is that the mic he has to be very careful with? Can I tell you my He's back. I thought I was a coyote. Tom Rhodes is on mic now. Tom Rhodes.

Is that the mic he has to be very careful with? Can I tell you my best? Yeah, yeah. My best Panamint Desert Party moment? Yeah. Shaley made these. He put these glow sticks on kites, and we went and lied in the road. Was that you, or was that Becker?

That's Becker. You didn't do that? Or Becker did that? It was you and I. Oh, man. That was great. We're on mushrooms and we're lying in a road that's like a functioning road. Like a car or a truck could come at any minute.

Matt Becker had... MacGyver of goofiness. Eagle fishing. He packed... Exactly. He packed more like trivial things. Sky fishing for Raven. Exactly.

Flight, mouse traps in the sky. It's a giant helium balloon on a fishing rod with a mouse trap attached to the balloon with a sardine in the mouse trap. And he's just sitting out there in a lawn chair at 630 in the morning saying, I'm sky fishing for Raven. And did it for an hour. Wow. And he's the one who put the kite together. But I remember that it's still valid, that point that you're going to make right now. Did he catch anything?

No, there wasn't a bird in the sky. A hell of a sunburn. I'm telling you, it was at night. But he did it. It was at night, and the stars in the desert were just absolutely stunning. They looked close enough for you to jump up and grab them. And these kites with the glow sticks, and we're holding the string, and we're kind of part of the...

And it's pitch black. This is the desert. There's no city lights. It's pitch black, so you're just staring at fucking glow sticks. Yeah. So mescaline, mescaline uh fire uh fire for the fire trial for the douchebag but i remember talked about this at the edge of edge of the desert staring out at the mountains and watching the mountains melt away and then build themselves

back up so i'm watching thousands of years go by like just like in the blink. And Doug's staring at it, laughing, laughing like a madman, staring at the mountains going and dripping and coming back. And then I look at Matt Becker, who's in a deviled egg outfit, as some semblance of normalcy in this going, Fucking thousands of years, man. My life is fucking pissed away fucking 10,000 times. And Becker's in an egg outfit being all devilish. Like, it's just fucking ridiculous. It's a giant foam egg outfit from his knees to over his head with his face coming through with horns on the egg. I'm a deviled egg.

Yeah, you can't hallucinate a deviled egg. It has to be there. But while you're hallucinating and there's a deviled egg there, it's fucking outrageous. Can I tell you my worst pandemonium moment? But while you're hallucinating and there's a deviled egg there, it's fucking outrageous. Can I tell you my worst pandemic moment? I met Andy. Oh, no. And he's from Oregon.

He's from Oregon. We have this conversation about the Nike Corporation. You know, it was a three-minute conversation. He loses his shoes. I lost one shoe. He lost his Nikes. He loses his shoes. I lost one shoe. He lost his Nikes.

And then for some reason, he gets it in his head that I have possession of his shoe. So every time this guy sees me and he's whacked out of his skull on drugs, he keeps coming up and he gets like he's on mushrooms. So he's getting really emotional. And he keeps coming up to me at this party going, seriously, man, can I have my shoe back? I know you got it, man. Can you? Come on.

And I'm like, I do not have your fucking shoe. But I see how he switched from shoes to shoe. So that was kind of a party killer for me. Well, you should have seen Andrus at the Super Bowl party with your ex-girlfriend from ahead of the class. And maybe this is an 80s sitcom. Was that the one I saw you there a couple years ago? When you were pestering that woman. What was her name?

Christine Haas. You were in like a football helmet and a wheelchair. Just chasing her around the party. Asking her questions about Howard Hessman. I was test marketing a situation. And a lot of times people who are on camera in the 80s are people you can gauge their emotions on. You've seen them. Howard Hessman, of course.

Okay, but when Rhodes explained that, because we've talked about it, he said shoes, initially missing shoes, and then he went to specifically No, you said one. I thought it was two. But one shoe went missing.

I've tried to block the whole experience. He was having a bad trip, and so was I. But I was like, man. Did I ever tell you I thought you stole my camera? What? See? Yes. I held back on this.

Are you making good money? I'm not. Well, hey, roads where there's smoke, there's fire. If everyone thinks. Hey, Adrian Peterson would not beat one four-year-old. But if there's two... Hang on, hang on. Hang on, since we're all spread across the room,

let's not make this sound like we're talking over. It was the punchline. And this is like the Joey Jingle story, where I thought one time Joey Diaz stole my change jar. This was back in those days, in the 90s. You know, when a jar full of dimes meant something. Yes, it did. But I left my camera in a green room at the punchline,

and you had shown up from some other gig late. We're all fucked up drinking after hours back when you could do that, when everyone was cool. I remember we had... Tom Rhodes was the only guy back here. Do you think Tom Rhodes stole our camera? Well, I don't know. He's looking for coke.

Do you remember we had some party back at my room? I think you might have been staying there too. It was the... Jesus, it's on Sutter Street. The punchline put the comedians there forever. The Commodore Inn. I would always say I'm staying in the easy like Sunday morning suite. It's on Sutter Street, the punchline. Put the comedians there forever. Oh, the Commodore Inn. At the Red Room. The Commodore Inn.

Yeah, with the Red Room was the bar. Because I would always say I'm staying in the easy like Sunday morning suite. I had a party where we brought a bunch of people from the punchline and Doug and whoever else was there. And we're all, you know, doing coke and drinking vodka. It was a late night. The next day I wake up and I am fucking wrecked and I need a cup of coffee. And there was a cup full of water. And I just thought, oh, I'll just throw that in the little coffee maker. And it turned out it was vodka.

And so I take a sip and I think, oh, well, maybe this is the boiling vodka. Maybe this is the new Reese's peanut butter cup. Remember the commercial? The guy trips and the chocolate bar goes in the peanut butter cup. And that's how they invented it. So I take a couple more sips and I can firmly report

it's not the new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Vodka coffee is not going to take off. Tom now no longer drinks. Outside of a missing shoe at Death Valley, my low point. Go ahead. My low point at Death Valley. Well, this is a drug related as well because we're all, me and Tom and there were others. I'm sure Inman, that cunt, was somewhere around.

And we were huddled into a bathroom and we had some cocaine. Check. One, one. Some cocaine. and we're looking for something to put it on and i had merch because i had my comedy club going and uh it's like oh let's get let me grab that and and tom grabs the the cocaine out of the bag and says this is how richard belzer does it and then spills a lot of you know, which is very valuable at the party. That actually is how Richard Belzer does it.

I know, and that's what led to my investigation of the shoes. That's why you became hot, because you said, Belzer, investigation, the shoe was hot after that. Well, I just want you to know that once every 10 years, I buy a pair of tennis shoes. I don't wear tennis shoes that often, but I just started to walk, and I had some old, ratty buy a pair of tennis shoes. I don't wear tennis shoes that often, but I just started to walk, and I had some old, ratty-ass pair of tennis shoes.

And I want you to know, I specifically didn't get Nike because of you. I was like, fuck Nike. They're more like a desert park. Well, you had to get whatever shoe he was wearing. He couldn't decide. We have a special guest coming in right now. Tom Rhodes. Welcome Maury Povich and the lie detector. It's just

Ralphie May sitting in front of a burrito. I don't know. That would gauge emotion though, right? He moved the burrito to the right. I don't know how you could connect that to Tom Rhodes. Have you ever had that time in hotel rooms where you just were so glad you didn't accuse the staff of stealing? Oh, no.

This was great. That's the ultimate thing when you're on the road and you're missing your bag of weed and you go to the desk and complain. I think the staff took my drugs. What was that shithole we stayed at, Doug? Have we done that? No, Doug, at the Wild West, where we'd stay after the party, I had some cocaine. Again, this was given to me by an African-American.

I just met in an alleyway. But I had some cocaine in my room. It went missing. Like, I left for like 15 minutes. Everyone knows who you're talking about now. But, yeah. But yeah. F***. Anyway, so I walked in my room for like 15 minutes.

The cocaine was missing. Like, you know, hypervigilant cleaning staff there at the Wild Wild West. But Doug called the front desk, which I never thought was possible, to complain about such a loss. And Doug was like, no, he lost cocaine. See, I did think this sounded familiar. My friend's cocaine was missing from his room. And Doug explained it, and it did sound very reasonable.

Like, yes, I should have my cocaine back. And yes, I should. When you rent a room, you rent it. And you have expectations that if you have a debt of horror or cocaine. The West, for the record, is a place where they knowingly rent to addicts. It's right by, I'm not going to even say the name of my friend's bar. There should be a guy selling belts. It's not like a bad neighborhood.

It's a bad hotel. It's right by the Rio. Let's say that. You can't call it that and then complain to the front desk. There could be a guy selling belts in the lobby and it wouldn't raise suspicion. It doesn't need to fit my waist. Yeah, it'll fit the arm. They sell belts

at the gift shop. Those rubber tie-off things. My low point at the desert, since you started a theme, was the windy year. There was like 75 mile an hour winds. We had done mushrooms.

Was that mocaine? And that's where Mark Ryan put the pool in the middle of the highway that you were. That dude, yeah. Anyway, someone put the kiddie pool in the middle of the highway. But now it's daytime. At night, you can tell a car coming from a mile away, literally miles away. But it was morning, and we set up this kiddie pool in the middle of the highway. And then cars occasionally would come, and they'd have to go around the kiddie pool on the yellow line.

And there's people sitting in there with goggles on. Becker's there with a fishing line and a fishing rod tied to the pool. Becker wasn't there that year. Fishing for kids. But this windstorm kicks up, and 75-mile-an-hour winds, and people are making makeshift whatever you call those Arab headdresses. An ISIS head. ISIS face mask. You get sandblasted.

You can't stand anywhere because it's like rock and sand will take away skin. Tattoo removal. We were playing tennis by ourselves in the road. The wind was so heavy. You could tap a tennis ball with a racket and the wind would blow it eventually back to you. Or you hit it the opposite way and it would come back. But then it got too crazy too early. And there was an accident down the highway.

This is like a blackout sandstorm. It's a whiteout in the middle of the day. And there was an accident. So the accident victims came to this. Do you remember how that happened, though? So we're at the restaurant. And the ladies slowed it. They were shitty as you know late

yelp they sucked uh and i was ordering my hamburger and the waitress goes excuse me there's a 9-1-1 call like i wasn't trying to be a dick i was just trying to get a hamburger because i'd eaten a lot of mushrooms the night before you were at the accident yeah i went to the accident scene because i said that offhand like fuck that you know like after your 911 call could you get my hamburger order it's a standard cheeseburger and she got all fucking cunny and like raised hell with me and then i went outside feeling bad like she's gonna spit my burger so i'm not gonna order it now and then i got in a car and went to the accident scene and it was uh it was a korean family in a van who hit some Canadian bike, French-Canadian on motorcycles.

And I realized. The only people that are in Death Valley are Europeans. I realized. They're going, what's a security guard doing here? They saved their whole life to shift their motorcycles over and drive around. The only thing I had to offer was sympathy or a translator. And I couldn't do either. So I just looked at them.

But it was like, like yeah everybody was upset and there was blood and everything and then they eventually made it to the restaurant we are way too fucked up way too early which one of you kooky Asians needs a bump because that's about all I got but in Death Valley somebody going completely on their own

being on drugs and being completely fucked up with no idea about first aid and able to contribute nothing. I was able to stand there and act like an authority, get a couple of pictures and get back in my car. So the only place for them to go is where our party is shut down for a private party. The French bus that broke down.

Well, that's no, that's a different year. No, this is in the middle of a sandstorm. So they bring them up to Panamint Springs and then we're all fucked. And I was with Renee at the time and she's drunk as shit and not good with authority figures. And I'm tripping my balls off and

cops and firemen all show up because that's where they brought the accident victims. They're like, I can't fucking be around this. Renee had just had a violent confrontation with cops not long before in la and so i just it's the only bad trip i've ever had i think i had to hide in a form that showed up at that point like even if it was the phoenix cardinals there would have been a weird animal well we had we're all geeked up we had we had our friend from another state who's an authority figure, no names.

And like, oh, you can talk cop talk and you're kind of sober. And he went over like, yeah, they go. We think there's more than just alcohol going on at this party. He's like, no, no, they've just been drinking all night and it's into the next day. So he talked them down. But I spent a good six hours fetal in a well that's what i because my dad was a cop uh anytime there was a party i was sent to talk to the like i spoke up hello sir how yeah yeah well that's why i would bring the indians to our party

because i could go out there and speak like man i got fucked over on real estate too man you know they made they made a documentary about that town darwin do you ever go to darwin it's the closest it's a ghost town but there's like 50 people that live there uh right up the road where the springs are it's no it's past where the springs are anyway so no anyway it eventually but it's it's inhabited by people who should be dead already remember the woman you that's where you started your uh campaign for presidency and uh you were asking the woman about the hills and she goes that's where the chinese live in the tunnel this was probably like you know they made a documentary called darwin there's a documentary

made about that town. I don't know if you've seen it. It makes some Swedish filmmakers. Really? But I want to see it to see which Indian's alive. Because when we left, when our last party with the cliffhanger was, one of the Indians got cancer. And then I never figured out which one it was.

Was it the one with the raspy voice or the older one? But they both. Andy said that campground they built yurts in like actual durable tents. And you're going, oh, you're tempting me to start the party one last time. Well, that's what I was saying. A soft opening.

So there's just a real quiet one. We don't we probably can't get both Indians because of the cancer and no medical services anywhere near there. But if the other one, he's game. The French, the time the French bus broke down. Can we tell that story? We told it on my podcast once we talked about it. Yeah, because I thought you guys, it was funny, this bus full of French tourists break down and everybody is fucked up.

It's almost. And somebody comes running for tourists break down, and everybody is fucked up. It's almost. And somebody comes running for me. Every one of us, not them. You speak French, right? And I think what everybody was really thinking was, you've been to France, right? I extrapolate a lot of things. Four words from high school French, you know? I can say, mon crayon est jaune.

My pencil is yellow. La crème fromage. Ironically, that's exactly what they needed to know. So, and then you guys started dancing around the bus, and you're doing like the Hitler salute and shit. No, they got...

Hang on, hang on. Let's back up. You brought a band over first? Let me give context. This bus is broken down. Again, the only spot where anything that breaks down can go. Like the people that... Yeah. So the bus has been sitting there forever. We're closed for a private party, and the restaurant is respecting that.

And I'm like, they've been there for hours. Bring them in and feed them. So we let the restaurant open for them. And then we say, Hey, let's have them as part of our party. And we wake up all the musicians who are dead asleep still, because they just got to bed at noon and everyone gets up and we see them. We, we give them all the Cheetos and beer that we can. Yeah.

Yeah. Cheese balls. We made the mistake of thinking French would be grateful. Yeah. And then banjo. Randy. the mistake of thinking French would be grateful. And then Banjo-Randall comes out and starts playing for them. Well, being from Canada, I can tell you that is not the case. They're evil and pissed. Yeah. And they just start walking out.

This is like maybe, what, four in the afternoon or three in the afternoon, whatever. Yeah, but they got nowhere to walk to. They walk back to their fucking broken down bus that's not going to get fixed for a long time. That part ain't getting a fucking pen in the springs overnight. And so they start walking out after we roused all the musicians to fucking get up and get up. Do a show for them. To do a show for them. Free show, free beer, free snacks.

And they're walking out with pissy looks on their face. So fuck them. We're going to bring this party as you walk out. So we were actually literally carrying drums. Rob was on saxophone leading the band. Banjo Randy's playing. It turned into like a Mardi Gras for unwilling French nitwits. There was a three-piece drum set.

So we're carrying that so the drummer can walk and play. Scott, yes. Scott Clabby, thank you. There's not enough voices on this. Not enough people are talking over each other. Thank you. And we followed them carrying the drum set and every musician playing as they walked.

We walked with them. It's like if someone walked out of your comedy show and just left the stage and kept telling them jokes all the way to their car but their car wouldn't start and you're just around their fucking dead bus and everyone from our party is dancing in the

gas station parking lot fucking... And they were horrified. It was like each person had their own person. It was like when I volunteered for the Special Olympics and had a hug a retard. It was like each person had a friend person. That's not an event, is it? Each one was pissed off.

You know what? It's weird. That's the first time. I think that was the last party. That's the first time I remember everyone having their cell phones out filming. But it was before good cell phone video. Yeah, I was thinking about nobody had Facebook. I never saw any of that show up on YouTube.

I'm like, I saw like a fucking hundred. I'm yelling at people, put your fucking cell phone down and fuck with the French. You know where the one thing I do remember from the party making it to the Internet was Inman drinking my urine. Oh, yeah. Somehow somebody made that a YouTube clip right away. Yeah, that's still up there. Yeah. Inman was arguing that, no, it's okay.

You can drink urine to survive in the desert. Yeah. And then Andy. But, yeah, the only reason that would be valid is if we were out of beer and out of water. And we had both. No, but you were daring him to. But then Andy pisses in a cup and says, go ahead and drink it. And he chugs it.

He's like, you can only drink your own urine to survive. You can't drink other people's urine. It's already gone through yours. He's drinking everybody's piss. Just Andy's. Remember when you stripped him of his title? Who made him king of the party? Yeah, who made him king of the party? Oh, I don't know. I'm trying to think about it.

Was it Lynn Shawcroft couldn't make a decision? No. This is my, oh, my God. This is the best one, and Glenn Will, you're part of this one. James Inman came walking up, it was uh it's brendan wallace brent erickson and myself and uh james inman walks up and we well we try to convince him that you can light a cigarette from the flash of a camera and we we do this with brendan brendan wallace like like oh all of a sudden like uh they they approach him with a camera, and the cigarette's lit.

And James Evans, oh, no way, no, you're fucking with me. You guys are fucking with me. You're fucking with me. Out, exactly. Out of nowhere, Glenn Wool walks up, and Brendan steps to him with the camera, and Glenn Wool comes up with a lit cigarette. Blows. We're fucking amazed that it happened. James Inman is out of the gate.

You can't fuck. There's no way. Glenn Wool came from out of nowhere. There was no setup. But there was a little magician assistant like, hey, you're going to go this way. I'm going to go. And there was a whole thing, and he pulled his face up

with a lit cigarette after a flash went off from a digital camera. And to this day, and I know James Inman doesn't even know how to work a computer, he will never listen to this, so fake, and so... He builds websites. And so beautiful in the... He still doesn't know how they work.

So beautiful in the fact that Glenn Wall walked up out of nowhere and did this thing. And then, of course, became the king of the party. Yeah. Well, that's my favorite thing about my reign is I don't remember any of these stories. Like, I really... It's... Oh, yeah, yeah. I look on that with amazement.

Like, that guy sounds really cool. I wish I could have done something like that. The first year of the party, it was just, Doug, it was the first year of the Man Show. There was like 35 people. LA Drugs found their way.

It was fun. But I was, the, everybody was just kind of standing around and I knew instinctively to paint myself blue and get naked. And, uh, I had my dog and I got on that curve and then I came down the hill with the skates and I didn't know we were competing. Otherwise I would have, you know, tried a little harder, but, uh, uh, Doug made me king of the party, and then I had to make a king of the party. And it was like, Becker, there's a bunch of people the next year. Naked Clown was right up there. It's like, holy shit, there's a lot of people really trying.

But Doug made me king of the party arbitrarily. No, it was your raid on the Japanese, the yellow, the yellow devil in the campground. That was the first year. So we didn't have it. Well, attacking Japanese always wins prizes. Other people could show up and they show up in the middle of our party. And there's camping Japanese people. We still have footage of the assault.

Yeah, it was three girls in a sorter. It was our response. We had a embedded journalist. As Andy says, we can't have this yellow scourge across the street. They did take over the camp area. They're intense, and we have super soakers, so we go in like it's a Vietnam-style thing. We got good footage of them running like Godzilla into the cameras.

It's really funny. I know. Like, we just assaulted them with water balloons and super soakers. I know when it's hot and there's Asian people, you need to mix it up and it's fun. But this is like

11 in the morning. So they're just getting out of their tents and we're humping through the bushes and then go, ah, just start spraying them.

And we literally have like a Japanese girl or guy. He screams like a girl. That was in the time frame of the embedded journalist and all that. So we're getting a lot of fun. All right.

We're getting way too off. We're way too inside. All right. Hey, since I do this dumb podcast, I should be dropping my dates. Starting October 8th, we start driving on the road back with me and Bing Bong Bingo Bingaman and Ding Dong Greg Chaley and the lovely orange haired Tracy. We start in

El Paso October 8th, and then we go on to Albuquerque, Amarillo, Springfield, Missouri, Columbia, Missouri, Peoria, Illinois, Rock Island, Illinois. That's the shit, right? Chicago, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh, I'll be

going back there again, I'm sure. Cleveland, Ohio, Flint, Michigan, where I'm known and loved, Detroit, and then we're on a plane home to pack our shit for Australia. That was a break. And now back to the podcast already in action. a break and now back to the podcast already in action. All right. So where were we? We're in Vegas. Well, here's the you know, I was the king

of the party, but if there's any kids at home listening Who did you make king of the party? I made Inman king of the party. Oh, the dog. That's a fucking humor. This is where the king of the party? I made Inman king of the party. Oh, the dog. That's a fucking humor. But this is where the king of the party gets you, kids. Last night, because I was a young, good-looking guy when I was king of the party.

You're stretching it a little. Yeah, well, I've seen pictures. I was better looking. Last night, I was drunkenly rambling around Fremont Street and found a band that just plays into the street. They're called Arena, and they play 80s hits from hard rock. My cousin Kerry was there. And Brian Hannigan were also there. They both left and left me watching this 80s tribute band.

And the point came where they were playing their poison section of their show. So I'm standing in a whole crowd of people singing every word to a poison song. By yourself. By myself. Midnight. No, two in the morning. Two in the morning. And a man approached just me and said, I got some wonderful cocaine.

Is there any other kind? Yeah. Yeah. I waved wonderful cocaine. Is there any other kind? Yeah. I waved him off. I waved him off, realizing that it was a scam and a trick. And then I watched him walk away from the crowd of a bunch of people singing every word of a Poison song. So he looked on that whole thing and went, that's the dumbest man in that crowd. I'm going to go sell him some salt.

And once I declined the offer, he just gave up. He's like, there's no stupider person in Las Vegas than the king of the party. I'm calling it a night. We're done. We're done here. He went back home and relieved his child of its constipation with what he was going to sell me. Finish that carefully. My dad loved Fremont Street.

My dad's dead now. But when I would come to Vegas with him, he always wanted to come to Fremont Street. My dad's dead now. But, like, when I would come to Vegas with him, he always wanted to come to Fremont Street. He thought it was really cool. And then the first few times I played here, I did that L.A. comedy club at the Four Queens, and you stay right down there on Fremont. Fremont Street is fucking awesome

because of the street bands playing. And then you got, like, drugged out homeless people fucking dancing, and, like, some of them don't't have shoes on and they're all dirty and shit. And it's like their one moment of joy in life. They're probably sleeping in the fucking desert and drinking like water out of a fucking tire. You know, who knows what their life is. Now I'm going to do a little soft shoe to unskinny bop. Yeah, I was down there.

I was staying there. I don't know. It was like five years ago. They had these different themes in the summer. They did the Summer of Love down there. They did this Woodstock theme. Then they had these boards put up of the crowds

at Woodstock. You could take pictures. What a scummy-ass Fremont Street. They're trying to get this 60s love vibe. That never occurred here. If hippies showed up on Fremont Street. And they're trying to get this 60s love vibe. But that never occurred here. No, I know. If hippies showed up on Fremont Street in 1969,

they'd have beat the fuck out of them, put them on a bus. Shotgun butt in the face. Hey, man, anyone want to see Bugsy Siegel's shoe print? Because it's on my face. You know what the problem is with that? You can't gamble with vibes. You can't gamble with vibes. Hey, man,

we need a miracle. We all do. It's Vegas. Keep your van running, motherfucker. Oh, man, I'm going to have to... Karma don't mean shit when the wheels turn in. Motherfucker. You don't know how much pumpkin bread I owe to the house now. Are these chips vegan?

No, faggot. Summer love never happened. We're at Vegas at the Plaza Hotel Which is connected To the Greyhound bus station I noticed that pulling in What a class of joy It's a spectacle

Every summer is the summer of love When you're near the Greyhound bus station pull out Because you know couples are formed there Right on the bus sometimes Random seat assignments And not always consensual On a bus Having. Random seat assignments. And not always consensual. On a bus and having a good day. That's why the NFL started taking planes.

Do they still have the TV seats? No, we were just talking about that. Remember the TV seats at the bus station? Yeah, we were just talking. I've looked for them on eBay. I want one at my house. The old bus station seats where you'd put a quarter in for several minutes. You felt so wealthy. You felt so wealthy.

You felt so wealthy for 25 cents. You can afford something these other people can't afford. You don't know what's going on in Donahue, do you? I do. The great amount of mode of transportation, like you get on it, you have to act like you're either going to prison or like you're walking the tough streets of L.A. or New York. Like, how am I going to be perceived?

I got to act like a sketchy motherfucker to keep people away. Hey, that guy looks stabby. Well, I thought that was amazing, that story in Canada where it was an Asian guy, right, in Quebec, and he cut off a guy's head on the back of a Greyhound? Winnipeg. It was on the Greyhound, right? in Quebec, and he cut off a guy's head on the back of a greyhound? Winnipeg. It was on a greyhound, right? Here's the thing.

Why am I looking at Glenn? Because he's Canadian. I never thought it was that odd. I know people like that. You talk about those people on the bus, and you can see everybody trying to pretend like they're sleeping. Nobody wants to get involved. You know how hard it is to cut off a human head? No, we don't, because they don't show the beheadings

in any of these beheading videos, but that's a new bit that I'm not going to spend on a podcast. I constantly sleep through six minutes of gurgling. You'd have to be like, no, I didn't hear... It's like a chainsaw going off.

Somebody getting their head sawed off. That was Winnipeg. We stayed in the hotel. It was an old rooming house upstairs where someone had been murdered. It was a whole murder tour the first time we played Winnipeg. Notorious murders.

Who's been murdered there? Some two guys. From what I understand, they were like the Shut Up Little Man guys. From what I understand, they were like the shut up little man guys. Classic tape from the 90s. Yeah. Shut up, little man.

Shut up, little man. Shut up, little man. What a great story that tape was. Some guy lived next door, and he just put a microphone out in the window. Have you seen the documentary? No. Oh, it's great. Shut up, little man documentary.

They found those guys? No. One was dead. They found those guys? Yeah. No. One was dead. They found another. Spitting on the roof. I forget how it goes. But it's the two guys that taped them that were telling the story. They were just young kids.

What's the name of the documentary? Shut up, little man. Oh, great. Shut up, little man. All right. Here's the thing. Go ahead. About Canada and those sort of peccadillos.

People don't realize how, because we've got a reputation of being very polite, but I just moved back to Vancouver, and I went and visited. So polite that if you want to saw off another man's head on a Greyhound bus, no one's going to butt into your business. Well, he probably had a real good reason to do it. Nobody saw his head off for no reason. You know? Jesus Christ, that's like the tree.

You know, you don't cut them down unless you're cold. Maybe he wouldn't share the armrest. I'm respectful of other people's religion, but some people take it too far. I just had to go back. And there's an area of Vancouver called East Hastings. And I went and visited some friends in that area and had to take a cab out. And I saw something.

Like, even I. Like, it's a crazy area. It's the poorest area in North America, including Mexico. And people forget this. Come on. East Hastings. Yes, yes. East Hastings.

Is that where we play? Is that where the rickshaw stops? Yes. That is. I was going to say, I believe you now. It's on East Hastings. Yeah, well, it's bad. That is the poorest area in North America.

Now, I was taking a cab down. I let Bingo walk a block from the bar I was hiding in that I was scared to be in, alone to the gig, and I was scared for Bingo walk a block from the bar I was hiding in that I was scared to be in alone to the gig, and I was scared for Bingo. I took a cab, and I saw the weirdest thing I've ever fucking seen, and I've been around the world on many occasions. Did you find your baby? I saw a dude in a Lego mask. Like a full... he'd made it, like it was like a Darth Vader, but like just all different Lego pieces

into like a bird beak of Legoness. And he was walking, he had a bus, like a plastic bus pan full of other Lego pieces with a rubber mannequin head on its side in the bus pan. And he was in a rush. I was like, I don't know where the fuck he was going, but he was like,

Oh, I gotta get this. That's the fucking oddest thing. I like, I, you know, the last time I did the Montreal Festival, I forget what street,

there was a nice restaurant. There was some guy sitting in there, and he had weird shit on the table, like Lego pieces, and he was selling them for a dollar. And it was weird that this restaurant let the guy sit in there, and he was just some weird-looking homeless guy.

And he's just like odd bits. I think that was Doug's just for spite. That might have been Andy at the room 10 hidden treasures, gem shop and comedy club. What were you going to say? Uh, what's that? Oh,

hidden treasures. Oh no. I was thinking what Glenn was talking about, but I lost it. All right. We got, we're, we're close to wrapping this up because we have to,

we should have just filmed this In retrospect for your documentary Did you bring the camera? Yeah I did Don't use that as the lead in You're doing a documentary That would have taken foresight I would have gotten here earlier Is this about my shoe?

Am I going to learn what happened to my shoes? That's the first 48. He looks cold case files. Going back to. Have you fished him? Officer? No, I concluded that it was one of those crimes that I couldn't make a conclusion. Rhodes is remorseful.

He's hired a private investigator to find the real killer. There was your documentary. There was a great episode of Gunsmoke where, what was it? Sheriff Smith. He should have just ended on that. He turns to his... Let the bad guy get away and he turns to his partner and he says, you can't win them all.

And that's the end of the show. They didn't solve the crime that episode. Hang on, everyone. Documentary. I'm making a documentary. And I actually went bankrupt making this film a long time ago. That's where that NBC money went. A lot of it went to making this documentary.

How far did an extra pair of shoes get the documentary? Well, I'm just about finished with the thing now. It's taken a long time. Now, because things are on video. Well, you've been traveling around the world filming shit for years.

For years. So I've got footage from everything all over the world. Well, and then this tell, you know, having a late night talk show in Amsterdam and a travel show and, you know, friends, comedians all over the world, you know. Rhodes is a world traveler. Well, yeah. Well, he's all right.

He's following. I'll take him. Glenn, we should have compared passport thickness, Glenn. I didn't know you were going to be here. He's following in your footsteps. No, he got a pad now. Glenn's my hero. His is shorter. And you, you know, you did the coolest

thing, getting the house in Bisbee. I mean, and then Vancouver is one of my favorite cities in the world. So, I mean, you know, I mean, I'm inspired. I just don't know where the fuck How many years have you been on the road? Eight. I've had everything in storage. Hey, Tom, have you?

Eight years. Oh, jeez. Eight years. I haven't lived anywhere. But on the road. How about leg staff? On the road? I've been on the road for 20 years.

Yeah, no, but I mean, living on the road without a permanent residence has been eight years. Eight already? Yeah. I was saying five last night. Dallas? No, man. I was five before it ended. But I was talking to Hughesy, and he got fucked up from being on. He got exhausted.

Yeah. Steve Hughes, fucking brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant comic. And I was talking to him in Sydney, and he was like, Glenn, I fucking lost my mind. Four years on the road. And he goes, how long have you been on the road now? And I was like, five. I did three early in my career back when it was funny to live out of your car.

And Andy is just about to start living on the road. He doesn't even have gigs. Yeah. That's the separation between artist and itinerant. It's a mobile year. Do you need to be anywhere? Not really. I always said that.

When I lived out of my car for three years, you were young and people, oh, he has a dream, and they'd be behind you and pack you a sack lunch. But if you're fucking 47 and living out of your car, Oh, no one wants to be around you at all. They don't even want to live. So you guys are going to clear out or what? I only,

I'd slept in my car last night. I'm not living. I'm not living in it. Yeah. That doesn't mean there wasn't other nights. I do have my shoes. You just admitted to last night. I do have my shoes inventoried.

I'm not afraid to show Rhodes where I parked. He knows where you parked. He's already been in there. He's been examining the camera angles. We're going to wrap this thing up. Vegas, it's just starting. Everyone's in town.

Rogan's even in town doing UFC tomorrow. Ralphie May's in town. Dan Everyone's in town fucking. Rogan's even in town doing UFC tomorrow. Ralphie May's in town. Dan Taj is in town. Rogan got me tickets. Ralphie May fighting on UFC. Can't fucking wait. For chicken wings.

Have you been before? What are you doing tomorrow night? Well, I don't know. When's your show, Doug? I'd go to. Have you seen my show? It's the same show as Sacramento. Can you give me a ticket?

Go to fucking UFC. Well. You gonna get it, Kerry? I can only go after my show. Can I plug this? I'll be sleeping in my car for the next two and a half nights if somebody would like to stop by and get me high or yank me off.

I'd much appreciate it, y'all. I'll leave the window cracked. Just throw something in there. We're sponsored by who? Tom Rhodes Radio, my podcast. There you go. Tom Rhodes Radio dot com. Tom Rhodes Radio dot com.

Tom, can you get Cousin Carrie a ticket, too, or do you want to go to see Stanhope? Stanhope's new show is very good. No, no. There'll be people punching each other in the face. I only got two tickets. You can warm up the seats, and I'll join you once my show's over. There you go. Yeah, baby.

All right, so who's your sponsor? I'm going to bring a friend. Hey, talk about this off the air. Who's your sponsor? A guy named Tony, and I don't like him. That'll do it. All right, that's the Doug Stanhope podcast, and now play the mattoid part time part time

part time part time Party time Do do smiles and do your blues It's party time Dance your dance and shoe your shoes It's party time Howl your howls and suck your socks It's party time Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck, fuck your fuck, six party time!

Here we go! Party time! Party time! Party time, party time, party time, party time, party time, party Party time Party time Party time