The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Episode #43: The Hangover Podcast

Episode Date: October 7, 2014

Doug explores a Vegas hangover with Mat Becker and Andy Andrist as they piece together the previous 36 hours. RIP Mikey Prell.Mat Becker’s Podcast - Near The Wild Alaska PodcastAndy Andrist - andyandrist.netThe Shady Dell - theshadydell.comRecorded Sept. 29, 2014 at The Plaza in Las Vegas, Nevada with Doug Stanhope (@DougStanhope), Mat Becker (@houdini357), Andy Andrist (@andyandrist) and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille. Intro music "Don't Cut Yr Hair" by Mishka Shubaly. Closing song "Party Time" by The Mattoid. Both available on iTunes. Check Doug's tour dates at dougstanhope.com. Take a moment to register for 2014 Stanhope Tour news in your area, including the USA, UK, Europe, Australia and more. Additional dates added all the time.If you have a story for Doug you can leave a message on the Burner Phone,[phone].Thanks for listening. See you at the merch booth.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope Podcast. The potato peelings in the sink Did not turn into vodka as I had hoped I only start to need a drink After the liquor stores are closed I heard you change your name again But don't you change your hair It was the only thing I liked about you In the end

La la la I don't even know if this is a good idea. Hangover podcast. Hey, why don't you enjoy a journey with us as we try to piece together what exactly happened in the last 24 hours. A lot of loathing and a little fear. I'm trying to think of like a good third that was probably, well, Andy's too. He's erratic on his best day.

I think maybe we should just wait a minute to start this. We could wait, yeah. Because last night we could have done it. We were telling Whitney stories. We were amusing. We had some good ones. That was... That ran late.

Yeah, we had a lot of tape. But, yeah. I mean, we really... It took us a while to get in our groove, but once we did, that was pretty good. Let me... I forget what we'd be smirching the girls on, but it was funny. We've only got 339 hours on digital left, so we can just let it roll. But you didn't record the rain the other night, did you?

The what? The rain. No. Oh, because it was raining in Las Vegas. That would be more interesting. Listen to this. You're going to believe it. This is the rain.

Okay, this is the Doug Stanhope Hangover Podcast as we try to recreate the events that have happened over the last 24 to 36 hours. We're in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Plaza Hotel on the top floor in a suite. A suite. Yeah. Well, it's the top floor if you take four of the elevators. Oh, really?

Yeah. There is a 25th floor on one elevator. Wow. Where the hell does that go? Have you ever tried hitting the button? Oh, no, I. There is a 25th floor on one elevator. Wow. Where the hell does that go? Have you ever tried hitting the button? Oh, no, I haven't, actually. We got to do that. We got to see what's on it.

I think the maid who came by, well, I could call her the trash person. She took out two large trash bags of trash from this one room. Full size, like lawn bags? It filled her cart, and then she said, just leave it at the door. We'll send someone. I had a lotto ticket on the table. Did she find that? She might have it. Yeah. If she could

just run through the garbage real quick. Yeah, no, we're the room with the two bags. Yeah. Well, the one bag's still sitting out there. That's probably going to be there until we check out tomorrow. Yeah. It's like an example. This is what you did? Yeah, I was going to be there until we check out tomorrow. Yeah, it's like an example. This is what you did? Yeah, I was going to say shame us. We ran out of toilet

paper this morning. We waved her off because she was coming down the hall. We were like, no, we're good. Thanks. And the lady told me yesterday, my back hurts. You don't know how much work this is. And I go, I assume it's like being a maid. And so she keeps going. And then later, after I waved her off, I go to the bathroom. Maggie had just come out,. I went, whoop.

I had one sheet left. I'm like, oh, this is bad. Can we either get a bunch more towels or a roll of toilet paper? Your call. Or in a pinch, the little coupon book that you can check in. That's what they're using down at Derrick. I think I wiped my ass with Louie Anderson. The coupon for Louie Anderson. The coupon for Louie Anderson.

The coupon for Louie Anderson. That's what Derek and Andy were using for toilet paper last night. It was. The coupon book for like two-for-one sandwiches at Subway. I was ripping out a coupon this morning to get a sandwich because you can get two six inches for the price of one. And he goes, oh, that's what those are for? We're using that as toilet paper in our room. You should use a Subway fucking coupon as toilet paper

because in Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, the 24-hour town where you can walk around with a cocktail in your hand at any day, at any time of the day or night, drink, gamble, lose everything you have, any hour, whores yeah subway still in the plaza hotel will not give you a fucking breakfast sandwich after 11 o'clock so i went down my first morning anger fit i knew i couldn't get it because i've already been through

this a few times so i ordered a bunch of foot-long sandwiches had them made up, toasted. And then the last sandwich I ordered was an egg white ham and cheese. And they go, oh, we don't serve those after 11. And then I go, okay, never mind the entire order. I just left them standing there with a stack of sandwiches. Vote with your feet. Guess what? Excuse me. Are you one of our super players?

Guess what? You've won a free one of our super players? Guess what? You've won a free sub sandwich. Quick, find the next guy on the list. Yeah, we're going to find out what we've actually accomplished with that royal rewards card. Oh, my God. We have a company. Who could it be?

Andy Andrus. Yeah, hang on. Let me move microphones. We'll put the chairs together. One in the corner. Well, I guess they're out of coupons in their room. He immediately goes in the bathroom.

Derek, we just heard you've been wiping your ass with fun book coupons. Two for ones. Is it two-ply? No. But you stole coupons or toilet paper? Toilet paper. All right. Good work. Yeah, they have that.

You can kind of request it. You can ask them. They prefer you to have it in your room. Yeah, they'd rather have you wiping your ass with the toilet paper that's complimentary here at the Plaza Hotel in downtown Vegas. Come on down, complimentaryimentary toilet paper. Don't you dare wipe your ass with that sausage egg McMuffin wrapper.

Remember, this is in North Vegas. The pool is open at five o'clock. The bidet is broken. We had a bit of a beef. I still have a fucking beef with security here. One security guy in particular. Because yesterday we spent football with the fans. Don't worry, Andy.

That's the whole theme of this podcast. Here, have a seat. It's the Hangover Podcast. Trying to recreate the events of the last 36 hours in Las Vegas. I know we did a show. It was probably the least amusing thing. Exactly. Remember tradition? Yeah, you have to do that show thing, being a comic and all.

And it was nice. It's a nice showroom. It was a little understaffed at the bar, not complaining about the Plaza Hotel, downtown Las Vegas, Old Vegas, number one South Main Street. Right on the corner, right on the price. And then we did the

fan day. Fan appreciation day. Hung out all day watching football and the sports book. It was great until I bet money and then saw a girl on, we call her Vegas 702 is her at.

That's you at Vegas 702 on Twitter. You jinx. I told you specifically don't come down when any time I never want to see your face when I'm gambling because you're a jinx. Cooler. I lost every single football game I bet on every single one. Even the locks were losses. Yes. And then she just sat there staring at me.

I'm like, why are you still here? I thought you left for the night game. That's the only reason I bet the Saints is because I thought you were gone. You're here. Oh, the Saints lost. Thanks, Jigsy. Thank you for the tip. Yeah.

That's the one game I won yesterday. Oh, yeah. He reversed bet it. I reversed bet it. I almost did. Mark Rat Ranch was alone, but you were, Becker was voting with you with New Orleans. Yeah, we got Matt

Becker and Andy Andrus as well as Greg Chaley as always. And yeah, then it started to spiral out at some point. It was a great day. No one was a douchebag. No, it was fun until late last night. There was one creepy guy, me and Becker and some folks

no i don't know what happened to you yeah you were what did happen to you andy is that a vegas i went up to that room with a guy the prosthetic limbs room he wasn't there but oh that was great he has a cooler bag of pills and uh the guy just like started pulling out different pill bottles and asking if i wanted them and and I said, yeah, mostly. But he gave me a, what was it? Yeah, most of them. Dilaudid. Dilaudid.

Dilaudid, and I go, what is that? Asking what it was. Is it a pain? He goes, it's, he was real vague, so I just took it, and it kind of knocks you out eventually. That's what killed Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce was shooting up fucking Dilaudid. Yeah yeah i'm standing at the bar by the sports book and i hear what i had just taken off my jacket or something or and i heard what it sounded like a thermos bottle clunk to the

floor and i'm like what the fuck was that i don't have a thermos on me and i looked down and the dude had dropped his leg and didn't notice it so i had to reach down and pick up from the knee stump down prosthetic leg and i said excuse me sir you dropped your leg and i handed it to him and i think that's the first time i've ever said excuse me sir you you've dropped your leg yeah and and the idea that he might walk off without it i saw a fight at uh harvey's uh and i had nothing to do with his comedy club in portland harvey's uh downtown portland uh it was the worst comedy club in america the worst comedy club and there was uh uh there was two groups of assholes that kind of closed the show together in the audience just they had to go through the same aisle way and just two groups of assholes but

one guy who was in the middle of it had a wooden leg uh or a prosthetic and he was at the bottom of the pile but this one lady was screaming he he lost his leg he can't get up or what it is it's just a melee and the prosthetic limbs when they come off clumsy are really fucking hilarious you know like i could crooked and it's like an optical illusion so yeah that guy tells me he goes oh yeah i set your buddy up with uh some pills and i go what andy and i go yeah yeah i go would you give him? Downers? He goes, yeah, a bunch of Ativan and Dilaudid. I go, well, you don't do that to Andy. This is early.

This is like 6 o'clock at night. How low can you go? Andy's already. Derek, you said I was. Or no, somebody was telling me I was really up. I think Glenn Wool, like it kind of had the opposite effect. But when I went down, I went down for the night. I came into Doug's room for a

few minutes and i didn't have uh i didn't have the energy to fucking so i went yeah you guys came down to play well we went down to play and then there's there's one creeper guy he hadn't done anything specifically but he sat at the other end of the table was it let it ride we play a lot we gamble a lot he's at the opposite end of the table and Was it Let It Ride we were playing? We play a lot. We gamble a lot. He's at the opposite end of the table. And he's talking. I guess he's talking to you about it. I'm going to tell him to stand up these stories. He needs my story.

My story. I got out of prison. He works in the oil fields in like Minot or something, North Dakota. And he was just wound way too tight. And he was like, you would start teaming with energy. He's giving you the mad dog stare. Even when you're politely talking. Remember that video game where the little guy in the little straw hat, he goes, he builds up fire and then goes.

That's what that guy seemed like. He's like, he was going. Yeah. Go look out. He's going to shoot a fucking ball of lightning. But he was, he was definitely a loose. So he did. He just get, get creepier and creepier.

And you know, it's going to end in a problem. So we just switch tables and move to roulette, and he follows us. And then he's just sitting there with this violent energy and this wide-eyed meth stare trying to talk to you. And even when it's polite conversation, he's saying it in a way that's not polite at all. It almost felt like it was fake that he was trying to come off

as not as creepy as he really was. Right. Like, hey, I can hold this together for one question. All right. Yeah, so then we decided, let's just abandon this. Let's quit. We were up anyway, so that was a good reason to just leave the floor completely.

Came back upstairs, and at some point we go, he's going to be gone by now. It's been an hour. Let's go back. Don't you wish you had a guy like Ray Donovan that's just on staff that would take care of a problem? We do. Yeah. But he was sleeping.

Yeah. Chad was sleeping. I even texted him. I'll check my, I don't know what time it was, but I texted him at some god awful hour. Paging Mr. Misdirect. I just wrote, hey, we're still at the bar like in case he's just happens to be awake at 3 30 in the morning oh no but no he wasn't so we went back down to the bar obviously the dude's still cruising back and forth but we found some good

seats on the back side of the bar where we thought he wouldn't spot us and we had our backs to the wall and an eye on him and at one point he spotted us and he came over and just then a bachelorette party had shown up on the other side of the bars so we put him on them i like man those girls you to go torture those girls and he's like all right he's like okay so then he's going over and like partially stripping for them and i'm like this is a perfect thing did you learn that in jail probably wrong thing to say we put bad on bad like okay there's two awful people the psycho and the bachelorette party let's put them together and then that was very amusing for about 15 20 minutes it got then that got creepy then that got creepy what and what well he got creepy on them they started on the

girls and they started going we need to see then you could have done the reverse scam where it's good cop bad cop and then you move in and comfort the girls and say that he's been creeping you out too or we give them don't we notice we notice noticed that guy was bothering you, and we've seen, you know. Well, we had our own girl who was actually very sweet. I don't know her name. I wouldn't say it anyway. But there was two people that were hanging out down there. There was a guy who had a cool leisure suit on.

He's a cool dude. He looked like Jeremy Renner. And his girlfriend, she was wearing a Packers shirt with giant tits. Oh, yeah, yeah, giant tits. You almost couldn't see the Packers logo. Just some giant tits, yeah. Yeah, I stared at that Packer. Your mind starts coming up with different scenarios with Packers, cantaloupe Packers.

So one of us talked her out of her shirt and bra. Yeah, and she put on her shirt and bra. Yeah. And she put on my red plastic jacket. Yeah. At the bar or in the casino? In the casino. But it's at that backside of the bar where it's really dark. There's no place in Vegas you're not being filmed. Yeah, there was a camera right up there.

But again, it's the plaza. The fact that a young girl is getting half naked is nothing but good publicity. I don't think they throw you out for that. They throw you in for that. And then, yeah, I somehow finally coerced her into getting down. I go, I understand if you don't want to show the nipples, you just want to show the cleavage. Because my mother also had one really awkward, weird nipple. So she was embarrassed. I don't have any awkward, weird nipples. Do you have any scars?

She did. She had part of her liver removed, so she had a giant scar, but she had giant titties. I didn't even know she had a belly. That was my favorite part of the ride with the Girls Gone Wild, which we were at one of those sketchy Atlanta bar, and all the big black women were showing off the you know it's obviously not going to be on the girls gone wild but we got some pictures and it's hilarious like this is awesome big flapjack titties oh yeah

girls gone wild and like every like hideous beast is there first and early we want a t-shirt. Here's my titties. Can I get a hat? Hey, how come your camera light isn't on? Yeah, the red light's not on. Oh, we have to cover it up. It's a legal thing. Do you have extra large shirts? Here, take two. They're small.

That would be the better video is to go around and do like a Girls Gone Wild at just real dive bars and get like a fucking old skanks to show their tits. I would watch that. So dude comes back. The story's not over. Dude finally comes back after torturing the ladies. And by this point, Big Titty's husband is fed up.

And he goes, listen, you got to just leave us alone. Yeah. I've had enough. Yeah. And we're, we are already parading away and we got halfway back and we're like, fuck this. This is why are we being driven out by one?

Yeah. By one fucking sketchy guy. So we decided to go back and I stopped at this two security guys. One's like 140 years old. And then there's this fucking angry black guy. Like a 70s cop show. Yeah. I got all the experience, but the young kid,

he's the runner. And I just very politely said, hey, listen, that guy right behind you, don't turn around now, but right behind you, there's a guy with a shaved head and wearing like a Hawaiian shirt kind of thing. That guy is definitely a problem. He's done nothing yet to actually warrant throwing him out, but it's going to happen because he's been, you know,

we've had to leave the casino floor twice because of this guy. And they go, okay, we go back to our original seats. The guy comes around and confronts the husband, like right in his face, like squaring off. And we're back in a one-way corner. So there's no exit. Yeah, we're backed into a corner. I'm waving at the security guys. I'm like, it's going on now.

And they're just staring at me. I'm like, no, I just told you about. I'm mouthing this from across the room. This thing is going down right now. And finally, the one, the black guy, just starts moseying over like he's going to take out the trash. And I'm like, yeah.

I said something like, what are you, rollerblading? Come on, this is a thing. And he heard that. And he came up to me. While this fight is about to, he squares off with Doug. And Hans, he comes up to me. Are you going to try to tell me how to do my job? And I'm like, this is right here right there

and and so he looks at the two guys who are locked eyes and about to like who's gonna you know who's gonna get froggy and uh he says you guys got a problem and the one says no problem as he's looking at the other guy he's like well then there's no problem no problem are you fucking so i went directly to the pit boss and i'm like and the pit boss goes hey doug stanhope i go yeah yeah but right now there's a problem going on the with the uh these guys are fighting i try to explain it the security guy comes up to me it gets in my face in front of the pit boss you're gonna tell me how to do my job huh oh you want to have some kind of problem with me? And the guy that was the good guy that warned you that there's a guy that's in. And now and then the pit boss just walks away from me.

I'm like, you're a fucking cunt. What a cunt. So, yeah, then I had to leave because, again, no matter how right you are, if you're drunk, you're wrong. So I couldn't argue because, yeah, I was obviously pie-eyed, but I was alert. I knew I had to go. I was looking for my phone all night, a couple days,

but I thought the only place it was was in the Louis Anderson Theater. The showroom where you had the show on Saturday night. And I know the only people that, you know, I mean, I couldn't find anybody to open the room, but I knew if it was the people that were in there, they might be mad at me. So I was kind of nervous about going back to ask them. Because like you said, there's cameras everywhere in Vegas. You know, somewhere somebody saw me riding Louie's scooter zipping around and well, you know, right.

And you're trying to hang on. And it was it ended up tangled up in the backdrop curtain and not the backdrop. We didn't get back. Well, no, it didn't hit the one that was directed to this. I believe my manager, Mr. Brian Hennigan, the filthy uncut Scotsman, actually threatened to murder me. But he did it with such a high-pitched, shrill Scottish. He meant it. It was a controlled yelling whisper because the show was on stage.

Oh, it was? You had a rant. Yes, it was. Louis Anderson does a regular show here weekly. So he was off this week, but he leaves his rascal scooter backstage with the keys in it. And then that's a fucking monkey with a gun with Andy. So he's tearing around backstage at full speed, almost running people over.

Well, I was doing my Tony Stewart impression. Well, he almost killed Becky. Yeah. That's when Hennigan tried to kill you. When Hennigan repeated, because obviously I was on stage, so I missed the event. I heard about it from Brian Hennigan the next day yesterday at football, who said it with as much anger as he must have had at the time.

Just repeating it. He was that angry. Like, he's yelling at me, telling at the time. Just repeating it. He was that angry. Like, he's yelling at me, telling me the story. Like, it wasn't me, I understand, but you're talking about someone else. He's already cooled down for 18, 20 hours. No, beyond threatening to murder me, he hasn't brought it back up to me. So, you know. That's probably good.

Yeah, that means he's either set the wheels in motion that I've already eaten poison or something. Well, you stopped and then it was andy andy last time i saw him he was talking to some guy with the prosthetic leg and he was it was very it was very adrian adrian pete it was very adrian peterson threatening but it was it was it was done and then you hit the gas and did kind of a little bit of a – Goose forward. Well, yeah. Well, yes. It lurched forward. It lurched forward again.

And the heavy backdrop curtain is the only thing that stopped you from going out towards the stage. Hey, Chris Fonseca wants to do a few minutes. So then we'll put a link to Chris Fonseca. And then that's when Hennigan ran towards you and did that thing where he grabbed both lapels of your jacket and yanked you. And threatened murder. Quietly. Yeah, I should have said, you all heard him. He threatened murder.

No one was on your side. You were not going to win on this one. He was all dressed. He was dressed a little like a little baby Ray. What's the show? Ray Donovan. He had the black uh jacket so yeah he was definitely dressed to make threats well it worked i remember you disappeared for a while you go i'm gonna go disappearing i think he said, I'm going to go find Louie Anderson. I know, but then you think,

oh shit, there's cameras everywhere. Louie's probably got a feed going, what the fuck is going on? That's my favorite scooter. Now it's not even going to be charged. That would be funny if it ran out halfway after the stage. Ladies and gentlemen,

Louie Anderson. What if he closes his show by like when the whale does the big splash zone? He goes right to the edge of the stage, but somehow I've gummed it up. He kills some people in the front and then they review the tape and find out the guy was on his scooter and that's what happened you left

it on standby i told you it was broken have have the shirtless guy come up and fix it said it but the thing about it is i've been on some fatty scooters before but this one was i wonder if they had like extra extra husky scooter because it went it went up it was like a jet it was amazing how fast it goes it really i was like i was gonna fuck with it it really and then i thought if i didn't clip somebody, what if they made me, you know, like I could have got a Dewey for riding in the scooter around if there was an accident. A DUI backstage.

Only Andy Andrews could get a DUI backstage. On a fatty or on a rascal. Sir, you want to step off the scooter? I was like, what? In a six-foot radius. Those things weren't designed for somebody who's 170. These things weren't designed for somebody who's 170. It's just hard not to pick up the Louis vibe because there's pictures everywhere in this building and outside.

Well, it is actually Louis. And he does have a – I don't know if you know about marketing. He does have a handsome pumpkin. a handsome pumpkin yeah it's weird being in vegas like reading through the uh the weekly guide and you go wow i'm fucking old because i recognize most of the people that are playing vegas and that's not a good thing i yeah i know more people in vegas than any given improv on a saturday night i don't know any of the names on Comedy Central, but I guess we're at an age where they're all playing Vegas. Tom Rhodes was in town.

He came down. Ralphie May is in town. He couldn't make it, but Lana came down. That was cool. Miss Tabitha Stevens and Ally Not Ally. It was nice to see you at the show. Dan Tosh was in town. Rogan was here doing UFC. I didn't get a chance to see you at the show. Dan Tosh was in town. Rogan was here doing UFC.

Didn't get a chance to see him, but I did see a lot of roulette where you close your eyes and you can still see the wheels spinning when you're trying to sleep. How'd you do? Black 10. We actually hit it a couple times. Yeah, I think I might have actually come close to getting back to even once you showed up. Becker and I have a fucking good mojo at roulette. It is.

And it's great. I mean, a couple times we had all our chips in, and then we literally did a comeback where, you know, you have your colored chips for a dollar. We did a comeback where all of a sudden that one time I thought he did the math wrong because he shoved all the color back. I was fully on the board. I had nothing left. Fully on the board i had nothing left fully on the board and then i hit and he shoves back all the color with 300 on top i go nice i couldn't even do the math how i did that i go really becker and i were in costa rica once at uh the usual kind of the best western casinoito. Yeah, by the Liberia airport. And we get on a run to the point where we were hitting so fucking many numbers randomly in a row that they were trying to.

We were scared. Like, they might come after us. It's a little locally run casino. Just random numbers. There's nobody really in it but us. I like 23. Boom. 23 hits. You know what? How about doubles there? Boom. In a row and just stacks

of fucking massive colones, but we still fucking beat the shit out of them to a point where we should duck out. That's right. We told them we're going to come back. Yeah, we did a whole spiel. When do you guys open tomorrow? Because we're bringing this back yeah we did a whole spiel when you guys open tomorrow because we're bringing this back we want to put this in play don't kill us are you guys standing

out though not in room 17 if that's what you mean oh oh yes okay And the people, no one really traveled that far. We put out the thing because the plaza is attached to the bus station. And there has been no dearth of fucking scavenger, savage, homeless people that meander through waiting to get that fucking bus to omaha security's got their hands full here i saw i saw a guy get taken out in a wheelchair by security and uh he but he was he was drunk so they put him in the wheelchair to get him out was it chris von sager no no it was a guy who's just a he got so drunk he was walking around yeah this guy but this guy this guy so then they took him out to the front of the taxi cab stand.

And there was like five, all of them black guys, driving in a row. And then one by one, they drove past this white, drunk asshole and refused to give him a ride. That's a turnabout is fair play. There was a big scuttle security saying, we've got to get this asshole off our curb. Cops won't take him. Paramedics won't take him. The bus shuts its doors. Pawn shop

takes a look, says we'll take the chair, but not the guy in it. Hang on, Derry, what do you got? There was a huge fight in one of the casinos this weekend i i thought i heard 35 people were involved oh really probably on the news this was a ufc i better it was that ufc related it could be ufc i've been to ufc and it's terrifying to be in that crowd yeah it's just bloodlust. This fucking animal.

Gladiator shit. But that's not near downtown. So all the UFC stuff's up at those big fancy hotels on this trip. Not downtown Las Vegas. No, it's nice, though. It's really, they've done a good job. Oh, you got bare knuckle brawling down here, too. But there's no cage. But it's organized.

Get to finish up. who traveled the furthest. Oh, yeah. So we did the who's going to travel the furthest by Greyhound. And I don't think anyone really made any long, long distance ones. But we had people from everywhere. And thank you very much for coming out. We had a fucking blast of football. But Raven, what was the guy's name?

Fred. Fred. Fred and Raven came from Sweden to see the show. To see the show and hang out for a couple days. So, yeah, we'll hook up with them later on today. Thank you for coming from Sweden because I ain't coming there anytime soon.

Maybe. Maybe 2015. Do that run again. He looked like a guy from Sweden, though. That was what I thought was going to dreadlocks. He's huge, and he's just nice. Yeah, he plays Swedish reggae. I go, that's a niche market.

That is. I mean, you get me in the door with it. I don't know if I'm staying. Maybe we'll get him on the podcast later doing the Swedish reggae unplugged. Is that what he does? Swedish reg podcast later doing the Swedish reggae unplugged. Is that what he does? Swedish reggae? Swedish reggae. I mean, he did look like it.

No, but I think he's probably the only one doing it, right? Well, in Sweden, if you want reggae, you probably don't have a lot of choices. You got to go find Fred. We need Fred's out of town. How is he? Fred's out of town. Where the hell is he? Fred's in Malmo. How's the reggae scene?

I don't know. I'll ask if Fred's around. I like Sweden. They got nice waffles. What are the odds this Swedish reggae guy, though, gets hit up for weed all the time? Yeah, that's the other thing he looks like. Yeah.

A lot of people got laid this weekend. Not going to mention any names, but some people that never get laid got laid, and that was a very nice thing. Thank you, ladies, who slept with friends of mine that don't ever get get laid and that's a really nice thing that doesn't happen much at a doug stanhope show you know i like that there's more variety in doug's audiences we're starting to get some transgenders out oh yeah that guy tim adonna you were fucking great dude in a and fucking. We never got around to doing that.

Red Mary Jane pumps. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like Clinger. He didn't really acknowledge anything odd about it. And it was perfect. Exactly. Yeah.

And he wasn't like, he wasn't overly, he wasn't made up. He had long hair, but it was, you know, and done well, but he didn't have makeup or fake tits. He was just a dude in a dress. It was great. Nothing like, like, uh, he didn't bear the shoulders fake tits. He was just a dude in a dress. It was great. Nothing like he didn't bear the shoulders, he'd go spaghetti strap. No drama with him, yeah.

Had his back to football the whole time, playing the part. Yeah, in the sports book and saying, you know, I thought Vegas would be a lot more open and liberal than it is, but I get a lot of looks. I'm like, come on, man, you're going to get a lot of looks everywhere. Someone said that. Dude, anywhere you go, you're going to get looks.

Passable? You're not even plausible. No. Is he a comic? No, he's just some dude. He was hanging out with some of the local comics that were. Oh, was he? Yeah.

If he was a comic, he didn't say so. But I said, wait till Chad Shank is down here for some muscle, and then go up and start high-fiving San Francisco fans any time they score. This is a bunch of burly dudes in San Francisco jerseys that just go, yeah, fuck yeah, San Francisco, and high-five them. But wait till we have muscle. But we never did get around to that gag.

We did that somewhere where we went to a bar just to be obnoxious, rooting against the home team. Oh, you mean every bar? Yeah, maybe. You guys did that during the Lakers playoff. We've done that a lot. I thought you did that with a film crew, though.

Oh, yeah, we tried to do that as a gag for the... No, that was a whole different gag. That was going to a bar. It never aired because I was fucking hammered. It was a Lakers bar, but just scream every time from the first basket, the Lakers, yes! Like it's the game-winning basket. Who made the free throw, motherfucker?

And then the fucking next basket with the other team, you just fall down like your dream is over and start weeping. Wait, wait, wait. And then the next basket, you jump up and celebrate. And then you fall down and cry again. And the whole idea was it's going to get wicked old, but it got wicked old way too quick. Yeah.

Well, that's why you save something for the fourth quarter. Even the pros don't care how it goes in the first three. Yeah, yeah. All right. What else do we have to piece together? Well, a bunch of people brought you things to the table that I was sitting at. Oh, yeah. I finally started calling it the Christmas tree

because people kept coming up, hey, we brought you this, and you're not going to carry it around all day. So we started one table and said, okay, put it under the Christmas tree. You should just change the title and have merch and gift table so everybody knows.

Yeah, we couldn't sell merch because evidently there's some corporate thing and you have to fill out paperwork two weeks in advance to sell merch and we have a shitload of stolen bibles because for the last month on the road chaley hasn't been on the road with me and if chaley ain't there i'm not selling merch i'm not walking off that stage hammered and i'm trying to make change so fucking but i have all the stolen bibles i have like six weeks worth of stolen Bibles. And everyone in our circle has been collecting Bibles as well. Oh, yeah.

Everyone here. Comics and otherwise. We have like, what, two dozen people staying here? So, yeah, we got all their Bibles. And then the great scandal we worked out on the road, we got a room with a single king bed. Oh, we need two beds. We're going to have to switch rooms.

And then we grab that Bible. And then wait for them to get us a new key and then go to the next room. And so that ends up being. Do you know how much people, how much easier it would be for us to just cheat and have the Gideons send us a bunch of Bibles? I make sure every Bible is authentically stolen from a hotel room. I was saying. Before I rob you on an overpriced thing that cost me nothing. The Bibles are free, by the way, at Salvation Army. And I told you that a long time ago.

And you're like, nope, nope. We're stealing them. We have to sell. We're going to fucking jack them up for not someone in the eye when I'm signing a stolen Bible. If I don't know, it's really stolen. I even steal the pins. I sign them with. I got a bunch in Laramie that I just, when the maids start cleaning, they open up all the doors.

So I just went down the line of rooms and took all the Bibles. Chad Shank went in. We were eating breakfast in Boise. I'm sure I've told this story before, but fuck it. We're sitting at breakfast at like a big boys kind of place, and Chad Shank goes out. We think he's going out to get high, and then like 20 minutes goes by, and we've already paid,

and I'm like, where did he go? Did he sketch out? Did he kill a guy? And we went outside, and I'm smoking a cigarette we're just waiting and he comes running up to the car going go go start the car go he had gone into the hotel next door said hey he showed his room key from the hotel we had left it's not the same hotel and said i'm in 234 i need a case of bibles we're doing a bible study and i need a case of bibles you know the guy that was gonna bring the bibles called and he can't make it so we really we're in a Bible study, and I need a case of Bibles. The guy that was going to bring the Bibles called, and he can't make it.

So we're in a jam here. We're all meeting, and we need some Bibles. Is there anything you can do to help us out? And the front desk says, okay, what room did you say? 234. I'll bring them to your room. And he goes, no, everyone's in the van right now. We're on our way.

So he brings them into the the locker wherever the housekeeping locker and he's got he's looking through shit he goes here i got uh books of mormon he goes that'll do he had a case of bibles and books of mormon i like it when you're waiting sure a couple phone books okay Okay, throw them in. He came with a plastic, those kind of chintzy plastic bags for laundry that they hang up. So he was like kind of walk running. But if he would have gone too fast, he would have ripped through. And he's like, go, go, go.

And as he's coming up to the car. Yeah. And that was the biggest one-time score. Yeah, that was great. I've never seen it. We've had the Hindu book. I can't even biggest one-time score. Yeah, that was great. I've never seen it. We've had the Hindu book. I can't even pronounce it. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Oh, I wish the Promise Keepers were still a group because you could infiltrate them and steal all their Bibles at night when they're fucking. That's what broke up the Promise Keepers is there was a lot of gayness going on. I don't even remember what the Promise Keepers were. Really? It was like a big convention of Christian dudes. Like a million-man march of Christians or something?

Yeah, but there were also, you know, the usual crooked shit. But there was also, you know, you get a bunch of dudes together, you know, get them all hyped up on being the head of the house, and then they're hugging and praying and crying. Eventually, somebody's going to stick a dick in something. They call that snake dancing. Yeah, that's what kind of broke up the whole Promise Keepers movement. I don't know if that's factual base.

It is. We'll go with it. No one's really using this for a news source. No, my brother. I'm going to check the thrift stores for those Promise Keepers shirts. Oh, there's probably some. And they're stained with tears and semen. Kind of like your laundry.

Yeah, kind of like my laundry. That's how I know that club soda helps. I don't have anything. We talked about some things yesterday, but nothing. It was just we were going to do this and kind of roll with it. Yeah, I've had a fucking great four days. Yeah. And I'm just starting to feel like I'm fading away into the sunset.

A lot of people from Alaska came down. Yeah, yeah. And they ended up having to leave this morning. Oh, did they? Well, Bart's still here, but Duran and Michelle. Glenn Wool is still here. But you want to talk to Luker, remember? Oh, yeah, I know.

But she had to... This is just a hangover podcast, just trying to figure... And Glenn Wool said your podcast at 5.30. Glenn Wool's still in town. He should have talked to Mark as well. Yeah, by then we'll have our shit together. So we'll do that podcast. I just wanted to do a podcast where we're just all fresh out of bed with crust in our eyes.

I really still can't focus. My contacts are fucking greasy. Everything looks like a Penthouse magazine Vaseline lens shoot to me. And I just thought it might maybe it would be a little fun to just all wake up and go, what the fuck did we do? Yeah, and that's really a problem

with memories is if you don't have them, they're hard to repeat. Security could come up and talk i think i almost you know like everything here they have their uh on camera uh like i could have tracked down my phone by just watching you know enough footage to go did you find it yeah i did track it where was it uh security had it they said i left it at a bar and when i found it i looked at the pictures there's one of me all blurry, like I just dropped my phone or something. Like a Bigfoot photo.

Yeah, so that's what I finally did track it down. But it took two days. You don't have anyone to call. I just didn't want all that stuff. You know, there's stuff in there. It's, you know. How many messages did you miss? That was me calling my phone.

Oh, wait, that was me calling my phone. Actually, did you get the message from Cliff from Appleton called me about a That was me calling my phone Oh wait that was me calling my phone Actually Shit That was me too Did you get the message from Cliff from Appleton Called me about a comic That went to the Panama party

That hit a tree Oh he's dead yeah He died Yeah I did get that Mike Ro Is it Ro No hang on

Is it the guy in Milwaukee That you made stare No In another comic And the first guy to Look away At Arts House That was Mikey Was it Yeah Was it the guys in Milwaukee that you made stare at another comic and the first guy to look away at Art's house? That was Mikey. Was it?

Yeah. Was it the guys that wear the suits? The suits? No, no, no. He was a young guy. Yeah. Mike Prell. Mike Prell.

Yeah. That was him. He was a comic host. He wasn't doing anything. Yeah. Prell was kind of a stoogey emcee that we liked, I think. That's the guy. Yeah. He's a real likable dude.

And, yeah, I got that message. I haven't talked to Cliff since the economy went bad, and he said he could no longer hire shows of risk. I was like, wait, I don't do any fire. Yeah. And he's classified as a high-risk act. High wire. And this weekend is a fire act, by the way.

Yeah, but, you know know it was like you know you're the one who put the lines on the table man that's how i became a show of risk uh but he called he left his message and he said you know it's obvious somebody you know got some bad news that passed and i thought you know i thought art hinty was what i immediately thought it must be hard because uh uh you know cliff wouldn't be calling me about anything else but yeah that was the morning news that uh mike hit a tree and there's several other duties so he was three blocks from his house at a bar and on the return trip to his folks house where he's living trying to get things together uh in an audi i think he said uh you get a very long text from

you because i just my text says mike prell died in a car accident no but yeah no i get brb or lol you get a fucking right no i talked to him but he said he hit a curb going 70 miles an hour in a three block radius with two people in the car that are all fucked up uh to some degree he's been doing his laundry earlier that day i got the text yeah He'd been doing his laundry earlier that day. Have I gotten a text? Yeah. If Kennedy had just worn a hat, you know, you'd never know. If Kennedy had an Abe Lincoln hat on,

do you think he would have got hit in the noggin? Well, I do remember that we were at Hinty's house. I mean, it wasn't horrible. We didn't end up kicking him out of the party. But you had – these two guys had to stare at each other and not laugh or something. Oh, not talk? Not talk. Not talk.

And I had a full beard at the time. Yeah, Prell was a chatty cat. Yeah. And they're like, I dare you to not talk. Yeah. Oh, gosh. And I was – and I stood – I sat right in front of them and they were almost nose to nose looking at each other just waiting for the other guy to break. And I was like just staring like no like poker face the whole time.

And I don't even know if he knew who I was. Now is this guy with a fucking creepy beard staring at him. And then the Naked Kelly also. She didn't know. Please make a real name. They didn't even know. And I think it ended up having to kick the other guy out. And that was amusing for us.

And it solved the problem of too many chatty people in Art's little house. Yeah. That was the annoying thing. Just talking, talking, talking. I don't know if he's working out bits or what it was. I think that's why he was shitting on this guy. We're not shitting on him. That was a fun number.

No, no. He's a tough one. That was before fun. No, no. He's a. Yeah, I don't know. That's for Cadillac Slim got there with Sacramento Slim. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

Yeah. It wasn't for me. I mean, you know, how did he end up there? Do you remember? We're at. Yeah. Yeah. We're in.

This is in Milwaukee. We're at Art Hinty's house. And for some reason, three reason, we're playing a club that's a strip club. Oh, that's what it was. There's a strip club and they had a comedy club attached in the basement. So we're playing the comedy club and we're leaving. And one

girl said, where are you guys going? You want some company? And we thought, hey, titty dancers want to hang out with us. Oh, no. They're not titty dancers once they leave the property. They're hookers. So we tell them where we're going before we realize, oh, I don't think they just want to hang out.

And they show up at the house with Sacramento Slim, their pimp. What car? A Cadillac. Gold Cadillac. Gold Cadillac. Sacramento Slim, pimp. So apparently stripping is doing better than comedy but here's the

kicker Sacramento Slim's bottom bitch was his sister which is a little weird I guess so they come in and we explain to them hey listen we thought you were just coming to hang out we didn't understand

I understand you came a long way I'll definitely pay your like for travel yeah i'll pay your travel and uh and they came in anyway they were cool yeah that's fine and then well i got there i know andy's getting beat well i got there later and i guess they were at the show uh because one of them as i was walking in said where's that one it ain't funny and i walked in and i was the one i was the one she was definitely the high risk guy i don't like risk acts why not why not you like waffles can i touch your penis so yeah but so then yeah he somehow how did anyway she was beating me with the belt making him renounce his white race yeah because i wasn't funny she was all the time oh it'll be

fun she's gonna hit me with a belt a couple times but then she got on and then was trying to make me renounce my white race which gladly i don't give a fuck yeah it went from like vague naughty sexual spanking with a belt to amistad yeah yeah and then uh yeah yeah 12 12 years a slave uh and uh and i looked at sacramento slim thinking maybe the pimple stopped this violence or at least asked me for money and he just he just opened it opened a wide grill smile and looked and i knew the pimp wasn't gonna assist me at all uh that she yeah i was i finally got away from the bitch because it's like you know we were laughing yeah i mean i didn't want my first uh hooker interaction to be uh so uh heavy with the belt and then we saw my sacramento slim up the next

time we played Milwaukee? Yeah, he came to the show. We put him on a guest list. Yeah. Yeah. I think at the BBC. He should be our Elvis anytime we play Milwaukee. He just always leaves Sacramento Slim's name on the guest list.

Yeah. We don't know whatever it became. Maybe he moved on to Greener Pastures. Maybe he's pimping it in the big city now. I hope he didn't move to Sacramento. Because that would be really confusing. Sacramento. He's just slim there.

Just slim. Just slim. They're all Sacramento. I think, didn't he go, I think he took us, I went clothes shopping with the pimp, right? Because didn't he take us to the pimp store? We don't know what you do in your off time, Andy. I think I went shopping with Slim and he taught me how to dress or no maybe no it was art that brought okay right right but he approved my outfit which i thought was when a pimp says gives you the you know that's

that's yeah you know and you should get a belt with that yeah you can get started in this business with a belt and a sister. Can you flip a sister? All right, Harold, let's raise a toast to Mike Prell. Yeah, Mike Prell. Another weekend, another dead friend. And Mike Prell's going to have no problem being silent now. We wrapped it up really nice.

Oh, no, we can edit. We can edit. No, we don't edit you out. We don't edit that. You'll never learn if we edit out all your social faux pas. There's another club that won't book you. Yeah, somebody came up and says they liked it. It's kind of like a nervous tick I have.

He said, yeah, and then he goes, and then I did it. And he goes, see, like that. I didn't even know what I did. There you go. All right. That's a quick hangover podcast. We'll do a few more podcasts once we get our eyes focused. With the remainder of the Vegas party, I don't know if Chad Shank's still around.

Chad Shank got recognized twice just by his voice from this podcast. That's awesome. That's how good Chad Shank is. That's amazing. So hopefully he's still in town, but I bet he left. Hey, since I do this dumb podcast, I should be dropping my dates. Starting October 8th, we start driving on the road back with me and Bing Bong Bingo Bingaman and Ding Dong Greg Chaley and the lovely orange-haired Tracy.

We start in El Paso October 8th, and then we go on to Albuquerque, Amarillo, Springfield, Missouri, Columbia, Missouri, Peoria, Illinois, Rock Island, Illinois. That's the shit, right? Chicago, Chicago, Grand Rapids, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh, I'll be going back there again, I'm sure Cleveland, Ohio

Flint, Michigan Where I'm known and loved Detroit And then we're on a plane home To pack our shit for Australia That was a break And now back to the podcast Already in action

Alright, that's the podcast Play the mattoid Already in action. All right, that's the podcast. Play the mattoid. Part time. Part time. Part time. Hey! Hey! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Laugh your laughs and eat your eats, it's party time Smile your smiles and do your blues, it's party time

Dance your dance and shoe your shoes, it's party time Howl your howls and suck your socks, it's party time Oh baby, crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time Crap your craps and fuck your fucks, it's party time One more Crap your crap, Sam, fuck your fucks, it's party time Here we go

Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time

Party time Party time Party time Party time Party time