The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Old Man Soup

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

A hot tub time machine of sorts... Doug invites Billy Bad back to the hotel room spa and see what memories float to the surface Pt. II of Doug's last trip to AlaskaVideo (including Andy/Doug feet reveal) for YouTube and Patreon members only! Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster at http://RocketMoney.com/STANHOPE  Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

This is not where I expected to be tonight, guys. Just let you know. It just goes to show you if you have faith. Listen, and hope. There was... Are you quefin? There was a night. Renee and I were here, and you go,

oh, someone said, there's really good ecstasy coming in. You should delay your flight. How are we go? No, because it'll cost. this much to delay your flight. So we go to the airport and all the flights are like

fucking midnight 1 a.m. leaving. So we're at the airport bar right next to our gate. And this is back in the day where they go, oh, and we're boarding now. And we didn't hear any boarding announcements.

We're just getting drunk at the fucking bar because we didn't want to spend the money. So we go. out, I go, well, our flight has to be leaving. And they go, you're the last people. We're waiting for you. And so we get on the flight, and they're already bitching at us for being late. And so first class, we have carry on banks, and we try to put them in first class open area.

And they go, that's for first class passengers only. and I go, well, we're the last people on the flight and that's not taken. All right, we'll go down to our seats and then they try to ask us to switch seats so a family can be with their kids. I go, oh, you won't let me put my fucking bags in first class, but now you want a favor from me?

And then we were labeled as too drunk to fly. So they kick us off the flight. We have an old fucking video, VHS, kind of video camera. I work filming me, Karening the fucking, I tell me I'm drug, I'm drug,

you know. But what they did is kicked us off the flight, but without a change of fare, we were put on the next flight the next day, so we get to go hang out

with you and do all these good drugs with no change of fare. Like, oh, that's a free way to get it. a free flight the next day and we did fucking drugs and then that crazy girl

that from the Not this one nearly one. The other one. No, she was from the radio station and Luker showed up with that guy he still hates what was his name?

The fucking guy. Flounder I called him. He showed up by his fucking that young intern from the radio station And I had her all tied up and stuff. And then Luker shows up with flounder. This guy from Coots.

And I answered the door with a boner until I saw him. And I'm like, can you just leave? Like, Luker wants me to watch me fuck this girl. Anyway, like I said on stage. Orr's on commercial network. Like I said on stage, if I could come for every time I couldn't come in this town because I was on drugs, that would be a hell of a load. Hey, Rocket Money. Forgetting subscriptions can burn a hole in your wallet.

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testosterone. It's like, you have so much more energy and all this. And I don't want energy. I like sloth. Pleasing a woman's overrated. How long have you been fucking jacked up? Do you shoot like a syringe in your ass every day? Yeah. Well, I've been

on testosterone therapy since I was 27. And now you're 29. Yeah, so two years. Shit, that is stuff ages the fuck out of you. 29 oh shit side effects may include extreme

30 year old looking 37 yeah everybody's peeing in this pool right no I peed

I peed beforehand but I go oh I would have peed in the tub if I had a gun because your wife that first dives over on the other toilet

or some lady I don't know which one's your wife I'm not doing it to, with you fellas, but I peed in the tub. I was in the tub this morning, and I was like, eh, it's not that bad, you know. Well, you don't have a tub like this. No, I can only fit two, well, two little people. Do you remember the Beck that Becky used to live to pee in pools?

Becker? Becky, Becky Clark. Yes. Like the pee in pool? She was this, you're in her seat. She was supposed to be here. So I have a second choice. She failed because she has a boyfriend.

She didn't want to say it. But, yeah. We get a lot of people. She wanted, she wanted to gain. She would have desperately wanted to be. I want to dispel that right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we wanted a woman here.

Well, no, Becky had a reason she wanted to be on this podcast years ago to get back. get a certain someone, but now she's, yeah. It's great when grudges go away. I've never let go of one. I don't know what that would be like, but. Yeah. It's not the cocaine's keeping my dick in check. I think it's just the warmness of the tub.

I wore a t-shirt and not underwear. because I only have one pair of underwear and I can't wear it wet and that's all you're wrong? Yeah. If I was a younger man I'd Google search, can you get herpes from a tub?

But I don't care. Oh my God. Fucking Duran. Duran went apoplectic when he found out Andy. So we have played up here together. Andy. Oh, God.

And he. Andy got into his hot tub after Duran found out that Annie had a liaison with a cocaine dealer in Costa Rica. He's trying to make sure everybody don't want their paid for. Duran was fucking really upset. He could have given AIDS. I'm a lot of. And I think he was transitioning. To be fair.

It was fucking. Do you remember this? I don't. I felt like it was cute. And Rand was fucking violent that he's in a hot tub with us and he fucking cocaine dealer and got free cocaine? Well, it was free cocaine. You know,

there's variables. It's really good coke up there. It's pretty wild. It's pretty wild. It was more of a coke whore than that gay. Well, you know. drugs were, you know, sometimes for you or sometimes against you. But I do remember Andy said, all right, you fuck that dude. What happened after?

Did you have to reciprocate? He goes, no, I just watched him jack off. But it was one of the, you've seen a movie flight with Denzel Washington. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And at the end, it was such a brilliant ending. Because at the end, they get them coked up enough so we can talk in front of Congress, but then light cocaine makes you do, makes them tell the entire truth. They probably shouldn't tell the entire truth.

And, yeah, so Andy told the entire truth because our one friend, Hinty, left because the ass-law. You got to squeeze, queered off. Yeah, so Andy was so coked up, he goes, wait, you think. You said you had a bad night. I fucked that Coke dealer, and now it's, like, out in the open. I said, I fucked that guy, and then Hinty might be killing himself. He's killing himself because I dabbled in the dark arts. Did you have to pay a Coke?

No, no, no. I've been in the bathwater? This is years ago. And then I cleansed it with a Venezuelan hooker, but none of this is real. It's all a skit. It's already out there. You've talked about this open. on every fucking podcast.

I should write it in a card and give it to my wife at Christmas. But she don't celebrate Christmas. It's just me. He was a fay-looking coke dealer. Hey, I like to think of a minute. Can I get a glass of wine, too? Billy Bad is the fucking...

He's the pivot man. All right, tell us about... Because we tried to bring this up in the green room and there's probably a lot of back-cham So Billy Bad, the baddest man in the world since Super Shawnee. Wow. She runs into a fire, and the entire house collapses down on him. And they had to fucking fight to find your body.

Yeah. I'm not exaggerating. No, that's true. Yeah. He's a firefighter and went into a fire where the whole house collapsed on. And we're close. Don't get it. He's that trapped.

I want to hear the story. So, when you finish it. You were trapped under a fucking burning building. Yeah. It's not one of my fighter, but. Are you still getting banked on it? I got, I mean, I got medically retired. I had a bunch of surgeries from it.

I had my last one this last May. Oh my gosh. How that's like 12 years ago? Yeah, I've had 20 surgeries since the accident. Wait, now what, buddy? It's one of those stories that you live? I wish that happened to me. I didn't do that joke tonight, but I talk about Tignito.

Tignitaro when she did this special about having breast cancer and I thought that was like she just found out and did a special that night but then when Andy talks about his cancer I go well Tignitar didn't talk about trying to fucking slap off her dead clam like Andy does like all right he brought it up a notch maybe she didn't go through chemo But you're one of those guys that would say, oh, I'm no hero. I just did what anyone else would do, which is wrong.

I'm a superhero? Oh, no. Because you did, we got, we got Bart on camera last night talking about when you and Stevie superhero EMTs broke his arm in a fucking, that fucking wrestling match. Stevie and I doing this thing called cannonball where you sit on somebody's feet and then they like launch you in the air Yeah, I went up like feet first and then I came down on my on my elbow and Billy Bad broke you further Well, so then they were trying to do they thought it was just okay. So I was laying on a table and then they were putting like track and they had me holding a gun case

They were trying to fight what the fuck then finally I think I was Stevie was like, dude, I think it's broken. This is nuts. And when we got to the hospital, the doctor was like, well, the good news is you set your arm. I mean, you guys could have pinched a nerve and you wouldn't have an arm anymore doing what you fucking idiots did. Yeah. And we were yanking on it and he was crying.

We kept telling him to suck it up and shut up. It was broken and we were trying to yank it back into play. it was yeah his humorous was broken yeah that's very humorous yeah pretty sure I don't find it funny at all yeah all right and I won't point out Stevie but of all the people that are died or gone sideways this again this is my 30th anniversary of Coots yeah so they from the the girl blowing me for Santa hat and the

fucking the Marines coming the toys for the toys for toss and then dude that was epic

no that was epic and they sent out the fucking full force of Coot security guards to go up against Marines yeah

yeah they Dave Donnelly we've gone over a lot of these so they've heard the story then about the Toys for Tots

when you were down there doing on the radio. Yeah, because... Marines had been accused of raping a 13-year-old girl in Okinawa. Yeah. So the Marines do the toys for toys for toys. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So I brought that up.

It's a humorous way and not like a broken bone. But it went poorly. Well, you said, hey, if you're out and about and you want to bring down some toys for the kids or a 13-year-old girl from the Marines, going down to the Sears Mall, working lot. Bring a Nerf and some condoms and some things from winter. This is not anywhere sideways.

Well, first of all, it's their fault for listening to Terrestrial Radio. I know there was no Spotify back then, but still, why are you up in this hour? I'm the only one that can concede somebody. Okay. I'm leading into you because of the curve or the tub, but also my physical. My physical attraction. I'm not that gay, but I'm, you know, this is very comfortable and feels like I've known you for years. But.

Oh, you, yeah. Yeah, so of all the people that have gone tits up at Coots, like, I know Steve, you went like born again Christian and stuff. Stevie, one time I was just selling merch. I just had those tits up to heaven. And some guy was somewhat, bingo, you had disrespectful people at the merch booth. I had one at the merch booth. And Stevie was, like, in the worst way, a badass.

Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to go kick that guy's ass. I'm like, please, Steve, don't. He's just, like, he's drunk. You don't need to. And he went over to Southland and found the guy and beat the fucking pants off him. I'm like, I just, you just, you just said something about the pricing or something. I don't know.

It's like, yeah. But, yeah, like a lot of people have died. We know. A lot of our old school favorite bartenders of the day. And a lot of them moved. That one with the one with the magnificent tits. There was a tit job, but she moved to Reno. and she had like cartoon arcrum tits.

They stuck out and the nipples went up, even though she was in her 40s. Oh my God. If Luker was here, she'd remember. Yeah. How far back are we talking? Late 90s. Okay.

Yeah, she was a tall giant. Oh, oh, oh, uh, hang on. Hang on. Look at him and he's a, uh, tattoos. Uh, yes. It's that fucking stuck up like a fucking 70s cripples like hazelnuts. I remember her kid's name. It's funny of a camera.

Her kid's name is Tallinn. All right. Yeah, she moved to Reno. I always... Michelle is still friends with her. Yeah, there. Michelle's still friends with her. Oh, and what's...

Alex. Alex. Yes, Alex. Alex. Oh, my God. You used to be a dancer at the Bush Company. Yeah. yeah oh my god just seeing kimmy today yeah that's a blast from the past i yeah i i can't

imagine kimmy aging but she did but it's perfect but i didn't recognize her she looked great for 55 oh yeah oh fuck yeah how old are you 61 i'll be 60 this month i thought 58 yeah he's hey let's let's update the lemon party i tell you about you I turn 60. I'll show you how old I am. Hey, honey. Honey, can you come here and get my hearing aids? Is that from the fire?

I'd like to say that, but it's, sorry. You get hearing aids from the usual way people get the age? Nature. That's how old I am. You gotta go on Safari. Wait, you want to hear what she has to say? Not really, but I'm. I was catching so much shit at home, dude.

I was like, it was bad. It was bad. My father-in-law lives with us, and he can't hear. And we've got grandkids, and they can't hear. And everybody says, huh, huh, huh, and it was driving her that fucking bad shit. Billy was... Select him here.

It only works when you... Back when they had, like, press, Billy was always, like, in the press as Anchorage's most... eligible bachelor you know how they have bingo in Bisbee they had the the calendar yeah yeah Billy was always the most eligible bachelor and he had yeah 12 years right yeah he had a few ladies or more but now you found the one that matters that's right so

thanks for saying that I just decided she's in the next room. Thanks for saying. Not listening. I went through some crazies, Steve. I went to some fucking crazies. Yeah, I was asking about, I called her,

I called her by the wrong name. Cheyenne. Cheryl? No. Oh. All right, Cheyenne's the wrong name I called her about. Chantelle?

Chantelle, that's the one. And she was fucking gorgeous in her day. Yeah. They both, yeah. They neither one of them. aged well. I saw a picture of the second one. I mean, we saw my snobs because we've aged perfectly and everything.

But yeah, some people stood in the sun too long. No, no, the girl's gone wild. Someone sent me a picture of her like they were from page six of fucking the New York Post of her bloated. You don't have to click on the, you click on the, fucking oh top celebrities what you see what they look like now and I'm like

why would you send me this? Well I got it. I said recently found a picture of like I get whatever love I wanted to bone this chick a lot. She's 15 I was 18 but anyway I just ran across

a picture of her. I never got the fucker because my mom cock's lock. Your mom did she's like yeah she knows how it goes I was youngest of five boys so you know you get him up there and it's quiet for a minute mom i'm planting a finger knock it off but uh i had a picture i've found a picture over on facebook and then dug immediately honed in on her weaknesses uh and then i didn't love her anymore well you know yeah well he just he you know he was like bat wings or a couple of comments where i was like

but I was very smitten with her 15 at 15. What, I tried it online? No, just on a, you're worried. I just, I was just sitting and looking at her picture and maybe going, oh, whatever, you know. All right. But you, you, you, you, you cut her down to her essence of a fat whore. Well.

But she's, she said a pricing on her, you know. Like I was saying to believe earlier. I feel ashamed for my younger years. It seemed like I was funny at the time, but... Maybe it was. A lot of times I think about... But I wouldn't do that again. That shit I used to be mad about and think I was right about

and a little hindsight. I was way fucked up. How's your memory, Billy? Like, how many people do you see that you go, oh, they know me, but I don't know them? Oh, bro, I get that. I get that law. That happened with us tonight because I have to say, oh, it's nice to see you or nice to meet you.

So I tell my wife when we go to AFD retirement parties, I said, look, here's the deal. When we go up to people, I want you to introduce yourself first. Thank you, man. Introduce yourself first so that if they say their name, then I remember it and go, hey, what's that Dave? Because they're so often that I see guys I used to work with and go, what the fuck. No, no, your foot, Rob. I'm saying he's, his wife does what you do. You introduce yourself.

You see the blanks there in my face? Yeah. Hi, my name speak. What's your name? Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, I do that a lot. We have a, we have a code.

Yeah. We have a code. So, yeah, it's failing slowly. It's failing slowly. I'm not a professional firefighter, but I was driving and I saw one going on on the side of the rub and wind whipping. This dude was out there with an axe. and going at it and I jumped in my, you know,

were heroes or whatever. I was the first responder, second responder, because he was, but I got up there and I realized these are new shoes. I'm like, you know, I know a lot of houses were in danger, but I couldn't ruin those shoes, so I just stood back and waited for the fire, and it was like, let their eyes or whatever.

Follow the smoke. Follow the smoke. What shoes were you wearing with that? That house collapsed on you and almost cost you your life and took away your career. Oh, bro. See, you're no hero. Steal. Oh,

Steel, too. But do you think if you had a new running ship, you might have not gotten a building clock something you could do that. Is that why you've never visited me in Bisby? Because a steel tail boots instead off the fucking TSA alarm? There you go. But,

but, but Doug's toes are more look like. like a building fell on them more than yours. I got flippers. Doug's toes seem to be pointing at each other, like, I didn't do it, he didn't. I don't want to do it. True dad.

Hey, where's those ladies with a foot fetish? We want you to judge us. What's the scale from one to death? What retirement thing were you had? It'd be great to have a foot finish, like that's the most non-intrusive, like, hey, can I just look at your feet and jack off? jack off and they go, I guess

there's no harm in that. Do you get foot finish? No, I don't, but that's why I'm saying. I envy someone who has a foot finish. Because a chick would be like, I'll just show my feet. Yeah. Yeah. What's the, but yeah. You can't jack somebody off of

feet. I've had them try. Oh, I've seen. I've seen those. I've seen those videos. Oh, do you get porn up here anymore? But we still do. Yeah. In Arizona, they made it. Yeah. to sign up Florida too. They said they made us, you can't look up corn hub.

You can't look up you porn. Yeah. And I have no idea how long it lasted, but one time I was going to do one of those. Like, I'm just bored jacks that you need porn. Go to sleep. Yeah. Then they go, you have to sign help for you down. I go, well, I don't really need to jack off.

So I just stopped. Like, yeah, I'll make an omelet or keach. Jagov is that boring. Oh, my God. God, how much did our dicks draw our youth to every story from Doc Wiggies? Like, all that stuff was all just dick-related. Just, I want to fuck a thing and do drugs to fuck a thing. And now I just want to hang out with you in a bathtub.

Yes. We've all slowed down for sure. Yeah, we don't have... Hey, Doug Flutie. You know, you don't have to. You can still throw a football in your front yard to people. You see, Doug Flutey. And she'll like it, too.

Wink. Doug Flutie's doing testosterone commercials. I know. And he's had... But you were the first guy to tell me, like, I would love to have... More energy than what I love. But not the boner part.

Like, the bono part is, like, like, spoil so many. memories I said I'm sorry I kept trying to fuck you hey learly burn the sheets oh yeah I don't get what that meant but now I don't eat her but you know yeah it's just lots of drugs I give everybody the benefit of the doubt no I don't but anyway hey what's going on up there I had an anecdote but it went away Don't have an anecdote in the water. We might be out of podcast. I don't know.

No, I'll think of that anecdote if we're sitting there. The vacuum cleaner salesman is the one story that you go, all right. It was a classic. I appreciate it on. I didn't. I didn't. Hang on. Hang on.

But tell me. We've been partying all night. Yeah. And we're pretty fucked up. There's about 20 of us there. It was a costume party. Yeah. And it was a drugs party, not like just drinking.

We're really in. Tripping. Cheryl's house. Yeah. We've been there all night. Okay. Daylight is called. Ding dong.

It's 9 o'clock in the morning. And nobody's expecting it. Ding dong. Hey, hang on. It's literally a fucking curvy backing sounds. And everybody's like, like people are hiding Doug's like fuck yes

I'm like no bad idea bad idea Doug opens the door and the guy says hey I'm with a curvy vacuum And Doug's like My guess Wait first of all it was a It was a cute girl

That's how they tricked me That's right Wait what Because you open the door because she's cute Yeah She means the salesman She means right behind her Yeah oh what

She leaves Yeah What? Just the idea of a vacuum cleaner salesman Is such a 1950s showing up 9 o'clock

in the morning and everyone's tripping their balls off. Fucked up all night. I'm like, I'm out. I'm not, no,

it's a horrible idea. People are hiding behind couches? I'm fucking out. Cheryl's like, I'll do it. Cheryl is a professional dancer stripper, right?

So she's got on like a house robe or something and they invite the guy in and he starts doing a schick and Cheryl's, and then she, like, it's typical porn

to all Dome, dom, right? She drops a rope for the vacuum cleaner. Yeah. And he's like, and this kid, I told you, I won't tell most of these stories

unless someone's there to verify it because it sounds like bullshit. He's vacuuming the carpet, right? And Cheryl got his big fucking set of fake tits, a beautiful body, Corvette body, and she disrobes in front of him like, oh, the vacuum sales is here, right?

And he's showing us how the vacuum is so good, right? And he literally just stops, like, like, then she starts like, dominatrix beating him. And she's touching him and like trying to crawl on him and is rubbing her crotch on the back of his head. And the kid,

who's a young man, he's just trying to sell vacuums, you know? He's just trying to sell vacuums. He's young now. He started crying. Oh, no. Oh, no.

You don't understand. This is after 15 minutes of her harassing her tits and her person. And everybody is like, And we're all hiding behind, yeah, we're all hiding on the curtains and the couch. And he starts, he starts crying, goes, you don't understand, I'm married. Oh, no. He's just trying to sell fucking vacuums, you know?

The guy just trying to make a living. After he left, he must have gone back. And told the Kirby crew, because Cheryl got a fucking ring at the doorbell every Saturday after that months. Guys stopping by. Ding dong. Wait, that's the same guy? No, it was all that. Oh, just all the hours.

I bought the hot blonde. Right, okay. It was willing to fuck a vacuum sales. Right, okay. Do you about the first show you did a coupon, the one at Christmas time? Yeah. So, you know, I didn't know much about you, but when I came in, the, the, we had a full house, but you were, and I can't remember who the opener was, but you were doing the show and you had a Santa Claus hat on.

Yeah. And two black guys. No, the one where it was between jokes and there was a moment of silence and the shit goes, what are you got that stupid fucking Santa Claus hat on? And you pause for a second and you said, because it takes the edge off when I say, cunt. And everybody fucking lost their mind. And I was like, holy shit.

This guy is going to be all right. I remember coming up here when I actually developed an act that was, like kind of socially relevant and I fucking died. Like, where's bucket of vaginas? Jizzing your face? Kind of. Like, all right. Yeah, well, I kind of grew on to that.

And Coots always stayed the same. All those girls that we saw standing a line in half shirts when it's three degrees out, standing a line to get into Coots. There was a line out the door tonight. We left to get in the Uber. I was talking about. man, it was crazy. Yeah.

Look at him like, oh, that chicks, maybe they fucking try to fuck her. Now, I think, put on a sweater. It's cold out here. What are you doing? Hey, ladies. You're going to catch your death. Now that I'm a grandpa nearly. The Ravenite.

Did you? No, no. I do. I never went to the Raveniteite, but it's funny because it was right down the street from the club. Yeah, because I was talking about it on camera last night. Last night was so perfect. There was only eight.

people at Coots at fucking six o'clock at night. I'd never seen it empty. And we got to do the whole tour and he's filming and I get to tell the story about the Ravenite, but I couldn't remember the name. I go, it began with an

art. It was a horror. I was right between here and there was a cowboy bar at the corner. The Buckaroo. Buckaroo. Buckaroo, yeah. Yeah. A little fun for everyone. We were balls off and I went to fucking

dump a loved, you know, ladies, so I didn't think what my dick and go back to Coots. This thing's not right here. Go ahead. Anyway, but I was talking to Luke or

I remember it began with an R and this morning she texted me, the Ravenite. Yeah, it's the fucking place. And then back to her. and I went on to trip our balls off calling you.

Be me bad. I have hooker money. I got hooker money, your man, and my life is still in a chapel. You understand that, right? Because there was a certain type of... I can't remember which on the night you called me,

but... It was about 10.45, because they closed in 11. And I had a fuck her quick. And she said, missionary or doggy style and I said doggy style and then I realized which way the stink blows right up into your face yeah yeah I and I try to ignore it and that was a eventually I had to excuse myself and go back and talk to Becker and it's 30 minutes

of cackling laughter and then us calling you. Billy, answer the phone. I'm talking in a very now offensive, innuant tone. You're passionate.

Passionate. No, the liquor's tone. You're passionate. Spirit of the warrior. Billy, I have you hooker, buddy. How's their water level going down? Well,

these asses. Go ahead. sucking it is hydrating through this asshole. It's part of his workout regimen. If you go to billy.com, they'll teach you to hydrate without drinking the water through your asshole. It's actually the biggest mouth in the body of the asshole. That's why I read in the cosmopology.

All right. I think we should sleep here together and get to know each other better because it's been years since we know bro i already know you i don't have to sleep here to do that oh come on the phone not at all i've gotten more comfortable with the gay i felt since tonight oh fuck all right let's go to costa rica let's go to costa rica we're in costa we go to the bull fighting ring And I happen to have, like, a Toriador, I guess they call it. You had like a matter, you had like a Matterdoor, whatever.

We're in Costa Rica, and we're walking down in this town in Costa Rica, and Duggy's got his Matterdor coat on. But in the bullfighting, it's kind of like the running of the bulls. They let you. It's a festival. You can go in the ring. It's a festival. They have a bull fighting thing at the end of the night.

So we all go to this bullfighting thing. There's a giant like arena they've built. It's like a traveling show around Costa Rican where in this festival. And we go there and we're sitting in the stand. Doug, we're sitting there for a while watching these guys, these drunk Costa Rican guys run around with the boat chase them around.

And Doug goes, he leans over to me. And he goes, are you ready? I go, ready for what? Is this where I was wearing the... Yes. Yeah. And he goes, are you ready? I go, ready for what?

We're just watching this. We're having beers. And Doug goes, come with me. And I go, all right. So we told the girls, hey, we're going to go down and get a beer. It's the back way, and there was a... Yeah, we crawled under the bleachers. I went down there with him, and the next thing I know, we're fucking belly crawling under the bleachers,

and we come out underneath, and he goes, come on, we're going. And we get in the fucking bull ring with these locals, and we start to chase... We were fucked up. We got the bull ring, and we're getting chased. around by bulls and of course we're the only two gringoes and I'm wearing a fucking Matador thing and they're booing a white guy

us. It was proud as booing us. Before they had cultural appropriation as a term but they understood and they're booing me and they're throwing fucking tomatoes and any kind of rod of shit they've got they're throwing them at us when we're out there in the ring throwing it

right but I remember thinking I was making eye contact with the bull I thought I couldn't And I still, in this day, thought it for the bull. Because, you know, there was drugs involved. There had to have been. Absolutely. But you talked me out of it.

We were getting chased by it. I've never sweated more in my life. I was scared to shitless because we were getting chased around by these bulls. The Costa Rican guys were all scared, shitless with the bulls. And Doug and I were so, we were so hammered that, yeah. It was an experience. I've never forgotten that. I've got to go to that.

I have a lot of stories. You have a lot of stories. I need people. This is the book that I wish I could write, but I can't. It's called autobiography. And it's a book written by you telling stories I forgot. But I don't know how to go, hey, if you have a story I forgot, please contact. Because I don't know what I forgot.

What's the last time they went? Oh, no, that fellow's mom. We went two years ago. Duran, we found this. Were you there while we get robbed? I showed up, like, a few days later, you guys got robbed it in, yeah. Oh, fuck.

I'm sorry. Flamingco. Flamingo. Flamingo. You guys got robbed. Yeah, we should have. Shawnee, who's the only person to rival U.S. You, you know, no, you guys,

and you guys had actually left right before we got there because you guys had you had. Yeah, they stole our fucking your shit. Yeah, they stole her meds and you guys had a shitty experience at the airport

trying to get out. Yeah. And yeah, we missed all that. We literally came in and they told us like, yeah, then they told us the story about what happened. They was fucking nuts. Yeah, we haven't been back.

But I did write horrible shit about Kostrike in one of my books. Just tremendous lies about how, rape and sexual. Are you transitioning? Oh, my penis? Geez.

No, I mean, I'm like tiny penis. All right, I have to cut this. Andy's looking at my tiny penis. I was envisioning Bingo's head. It kind of looks like Bingo's head. So for a minute, I was confused because she's over there. I don't, I would end this podcast if I, thought i could get out of this tub we're lobsters and wondering how i'm going to get out of

here yeah i'm like holy shit i like i like we're going to ask the ladies to come in and pull us out but i don't want the ladies looking at my tiny penis the same way and he is ogling it they're looking at mine too glad the tour's ending no yes you guys have swords of us don't feel bad all right i'll get all right hang on let us get I'll get us out of here. He'll be a d'i up. Oh shit, how stormed for you? That was a...

I just... I just fucking let out a giant fart to get everyone to run. You talked over here. Oh, fuck it out. Good Lord. It's a knee replacement surgery in me. That's why... What's getting into gay is with young dudes,

and you can still take the wear and tear. Thank you, sir. Take the line. Kill that girl. Squished that. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah, no big thing.

Oh, fuck. Hang on. Hey, I got a... I hope you. There we go. You need a lift. That boy. We're not out of the week yet.

I love that.