The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Pt. 12 - Ten Minute Podcast - Daytona Beach, Florida

Episode Date: April 10, 2016

Pre Order Doug's book "Digging Up Mother: A Memoir" on Amazon and Barnes & Noble Deep, dark secrets revealed in a Swapcast with Claire & Jer from the Mind Altered Podcast. This is the third day of Doug recording 10 minute podcasts in Daytona Beach, Florida during Spring Break 2016.   Recorded March 27, 2016 in Daytona Beach, FL with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), Claire & Jer (@MindAlteredMed), Chad Shank (@hdfatty), and Ggreg Chaille (@gregchaille). Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.   LINKS: Mind Altered Podcast talking about Doug Ep.#20- https://soundcloud.com/mind-altered-media/020-dear-martha-stewart   Mind Altered Podcast - https://soundcloud.com/mind-altered-media Pre Order Doug's book "Diggin Up Mother: A Love Story" on Amazon and Barnes & NobleDoug's DVD/CDs are all available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

We're doing a swap cast with the Mind Altered podcast people that we promised everyone. I think we promised everybody in the world we'd podcast with them today. So now we're with you. And the Mind Altered podcast, you can just Google it and find it. It's on SoundCloud. Yeah. Is that where you post it to? We can't figure out how to get on iTunes.

Or no, we know that it's a problem. It has nothing to do with hallucinogens. It's a bait and switch. Just get high. That's getting high with no one. You don't even have Doug Benson. All right. So this is what we already talked about.

We just want your darkest story. So do you know anyone that committed suicide? Oh, I have a handful of friends. Yeah. Which is your best suicide friend? Jesus. Best friend that committed suicide? Like the one that hurt the most.

This has turned into like an episode of Maury. Oh, no, it's more fun than that. This kid that I grew up with, Nate, he lived across the street from me growing up. He was like a little brother to me. And I don't know if it was a suicide. Hang on, let's pause. And we're going to, everyone, Chad, Chaley, Junior.

Junior's on the phone with a girl, hopefully his own. I'm going to guess 26 years old. Even though you have the beard, you're younger than. No, I'm 33. You didn't wait for everyone to guess, you cocksucker. This is why you always fail in life. Jerry is honest to a fault. See, he got it.

Son of a bitch. Chad nailed it. Jerry is the most honest person I've ever met. Yeah, but too honest. There was a game in play where everyone's supposed to guess, and he says it. Oh, my God. So your

childhood friend, how old were you when the guy killed himself? Nate. He was probably four or so years. I was in my 20-something, 22. He was maybe 19. He was 20 years younger.

I'm like 24 and he was 19 or something or 20. And it could have been accidental, but a lot of pills were taken and that's how he died. And I have a lot of friends. It wasn't gruesome? No, I guess not. I don't know. So there's no brains and shit?

No, no. It was more tragic. Okay, if you want that. What's one score? brains and shit? No, no. It was more tragic. Okay, if you want that. Ted wants gore. Really, probably. My brother, Chris, his best friend, Bert, he just killed himself

with a gun, blew his brains out. He laid down in his mom's bed from what I heard. All right, that's kind of like a cousin twice removed or something. Your brother's best

other friend. Yeah, me and my brother, Chris, were really close. We did everything together growing up. And so I hung out with Bert all the time. Alright. And have you ever been raped? Yeah.

Yeah. So tell us about that. Wow. Alright. I was 16. I said no a million times. It was my best friend's older brother. Is this the guy that killed himself? No.

We only knew each other for like four years. So this is when I was 16. My best friend's older brother, I was kind of terrified of him. And I said no a million times. And it just didn't stop. And then she put me on blast because she told everybody. I don't know what that means.

What's on blast? You guys obviously don't follow black Twitter. Black Twitter? You don't know about black Twitter? Wait, there's a white Twitter? Black Twitter has a bunch of ridiculous memes and funny tweets. That's your real thing?

It's most known for its volume. Next time you're on Twitter, search for Black Twitter. First of all, what does on blast mean? I don't want to have to go on Black Twitter when you can just explain it to me. Am I the youngest person in this room? Is this happening right now? Let me school you guys on the youth.

I don't know. How long ago were you raped? Because I know you were raped at 16. I'm 31. Oh, alright. So, 15 years. Alright. On blast. I've avoided it since then. Thank God. Still going strong. On blast means...

You weren't here late last night. That's why. On blast means that someone is, how can I say this without using other youthful terminology? Like on blast, somebody is making it very apparent that there is something going on. Like on blast. So when I said that about putting your picture

on our Dear Doug doug yeah that was a different podcast that'll never air so that we're trying to skip past that all right all right but you did use uh just rephrase the sentence i don't even remember what the sentence with with with somebody blowing up your phone yeah yeah okay so it's like somebody blowing up your phone? Yeah. Okay. So it's like somebody blowing up your phone but on social media. You know, like they're linking everything to you. I'm trying to get this back to the rape. Okay. Okay.

So in that context, he told his sister. His sister was very upset. I never told anybody until I was about 22. And so she didn't know. He told his sister he raped you? He told all of his friends. No, he told them that we had sex, which was not the case. Oh, all right. So he told everyone.

So everybody knew. So he put me on blast, right? Everybody knew that this had happened. Got it. But I never got my side of the story out. And so she was mad at me for sleeping with him, which was fucked up because I didn't want to sleep with him. Well, how did you say no? I used the word no. Probably 10, 15 times. That was sarcastic. He was terrifying. I do have a question. If this friend of yours, you guys were close, and she gets mad at you, there was no

communication with you to her? You just dropped it? I never told anybody. You didn't try to explain it? Is this a Doug Stanhope Mind Altered Podcast Swapcast exclusive? What's his name?

It needs music. Based on what I've just learned, I think you should put him on blast. I think I just did. Shit. No, you know, it's such a strange position to be in. I see this on social media quite a bit where a woman tells a story about being raped and she never says the name because it's such a hard thing to prove. And really, it does more to hurt the victim than the actual perpetrator. Well, there's also liability issues.

There's legal issues. Well, if you can't prove it, I can sue you. Right. Or even if nothing comes to fruition, they could actually fuck you up by lawyers sending letters and all this shit. And nothing could even come of it, but you still got to pay someone to represent you. Yeah, it just makes it more painful. You did make a joke about Maury Povich, but the truth is Chad Shank has a rape kit. If you just adjourn with him into the toilet, we're going to see.

I think it's 15 years too late, but thank you. I appreciate that. But just to be safe. Let Dr. Chad determine that. Are you a doctor? No. Dr. Chad will probe you with I appreciate that. Just to be safe. Let Dr. Chad determine that. Are you a doctor? No. Dr. Chad will probe you with a Sharpie. Should I be scared now?

What the fuck is going on? Just knowing her, I don't think that's the darkest story. The fucking person that tried to kill you with bleach or whatever was the best story. Jerry, your first homosexual experience. What age were you? It's hard to recount. There's so many. Let's take the Wayback Machine.

There's been so many firsts. It was probably with that same kid, Nate, who killed himself. Oh, boy. Really? I wonder, were the two related? Holy shit. No, no.

He was just a kid that lived across the street. All right, don't worry, he's the star of the show. You said, I have so many dark stories. Let's get to some. Well, Jerry will probably say that a number of these are from the fact that I went to Catholic school. He likes to blame a lot of my issues on the fact that I went to Catholic school.

Brainwashing. You have to blame it on something. If you watch any episode of Intervention, there's a montage from the baby up until, and then they find in the middle of the montage the one reason she must be an addict. Her brother died in a car accident when she was 18. Well, really?

What made you a fucking day drunk? A day drunk? I don't think that story is that dark. In the intervention montage, what's the one striking moment that led you to be sitting here shit-faced in a fucking Daytona Beach hotel? I thought I was keeping it together, but all right.

You know, that one's not that interesting. I went to a state school. I went to the University of Florida while they were in their heyday and had two basketball championships and two football championships while I was there. And so it was just culture. And now she's a meth head. It's the Catholic thing.

They couldn't three-peat, so now she's switched to drugs. We almost brought mushrooms here this morning. We were trying really hard just to show up. And be like, see? Get back to degrading stories. We're trying to get 10 minutes of we were interested to know what you thought about daytona you want to talk about dirty stories

dirt tona has got to be up there no this is the most boring fucking place this is uh mardi gras without the uh culture yeah it's just a bunch of history. Fucking idiots. This is my personal holocaust. My own personal holocaust. Everyone with good abs get on the train.

Wow. Have you ever been to Youngstown, Ohio? Yes, I've been there. I often say it. A good friend of ours killed herself when we were in Youngstown, Ohio, Diana Hone. If you pick Youngstown up and drop it on the Atlantic Ocean in Florida, that's what you got. Yeah?

Yeah. It's fucking terrible. There you go, warmer weather. But it can be better. That's what fucking pisses you off when you're here. You're like, this is fucking awesome. There's a beach. Well, not today.

It's been shitty this weekend. That's Treasure Island on the other coast, St. Pete. Gulfside, yeah. Yeah, Treasure Island is what this could be and already is over there. Right. Right here, it's spring break. It's biker week. It's a piece of shit.

Bike week. I don't know why you live here. That was. Yes. You should hear it. It was one of the best things I could say. Come here for the sushi. Sapporo.

Hey, this 10 minute podcast has been brought to you by Sapporo Japanese Steakhouse and sushi. It's got the little boats on a floating conveyor belt. It's easy. It's convenient. You can get in and out and eat in 10 minutes. Don't believe the Yelp reviews. It's easy. It's convenient. You can get in and out and eat in 10 minutes. Don't believe the Yelp reviews. It's clean.

Clean enough. Any rotten, awful story? First time anal? Both of you? This is a question for the field. I feel like you're giving us homework. No, no. This is the test right now.

Homework before you got here. How many times did you say no to that versus your rape? You know, it doesn't come up that much. I did it once. It was just not for me. It was not particularly bad. No, no, it's not for you. It's for him.

I hope it was love and not rape. Yeah, that's true. I think we'll close this podcast on, hey, don't rape people. It's a good message. The more you know. And unless it's first time anal and she's saying no just because she has to. I should say no, but I'd like to try. All right. That's a terrible. I don't know'd like to try. All right.

That's a terrible. I don't know what you're doing. All right. You got to say it's a swap cast, though. Swap cast. Listen to the mind altered podcast for as long as you can. But they'll get it right. They're working on it.

On SoundCloud. On SoundCloud. Yeah. Well, Wix. We have Wix, right? We were stupid and we didn't pick Squarespace. Well, and fucking Wix. You can't do like RSS feed, which is the main thing you need to put it on.

Get off Wix. Get on Squarespace. What the fuck? Squarespace. Hey, Squarespace dot com. You know what? Squarespace. Do you use Squarespace?

I wish. Go to the website. Go to Squarespace. They make it easy. A fucking simple. Then Junior Stopka. They got templates. it's so simple junior stop could do it that he can buy a 500 car from a bus boy and drive it from chicago to tour

these fucking humps around on some lame ass uh what's that movie jackpotpot Nevada. Anyway, that's such a stretching reference. All right. Yeah. Squarespace.com. This 10 minutes has been brought to you by Squarespace, and Squarespace will probably sue us for using this 10 minutes. They're a sponsor. I know.

They're a sponsor. Oh, Jesus. Get in the fucking... I have to go shave a girl's armpits. I'll be right back. Get in the fucking bathroom right now.