The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Stanhope Talks to Some 8 year old Kid - pt.2

Episode Date: July 24, 2015

Stanhope talks to some 8 year old kid - pt.2Recorded July 11, 2015 at the Fun House in Bisbee, AZ with Doug Stanhope (@dougstanhope), and some 8 year old kid. Produced and Edited by Ggreg Chaille.Closing song, "Living Dead Girl", by Rob Zombie. Available on iTunes.Doug's upcoming tour dates available at DougStanhope.comSupport the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

Hey, it's Doug Stanhope, Minicast. Again, I got some eight-year-old boy over here. Shit, what was I going to do? Hang on. Do you smoke? I don't know if the secondhand smoke bothers you, but I smoke a lot. It doesn't bother you? No.

What, you don't smoke? No. Yeah, it's a good habit to not have. You don't smoke? No. Yeah, it's a good habit to not have. So last time you were here, you were saying, well, you didn't say shit, really. You said, but you were telling me off the air that you're waking into Rob Zombie. Yeah.

You know, Rob Zombie, Yeah. You know Rob Zombie? He's a big... Stern. You know Howard Stern? Do you listen to Stern? No. That's why you don't know fucking Artie Lang. Last time we talked.

Yeah, Stern. Him and Rob Zombie. The opening theme song, I think, is Rob Zombie and Stern. I didn't fact check for a minicast, but yeah, I'm pretty sure. He's a huge Howard Stern guy. You should listen to Howard Stern. Do you have satellite radio? No.

Well, you should get it. It's worth it. I don't know if you drive to work or what you do, but if you spend a lot of time in a car, get satellite radio. It's definitely worth it. Do you watch football? Yeah. in a car, get satellite radio. It's definitely worth it. Do you watch football? Yeah. That's right, you fucking prick.

You're a 49ers fan. Yeah. You live like up in Phoenix. You're in Arizona. You don't even root for the goddamn home team. That pisses me off. Pissing me off about everyone. I had my teams when I came here,

and as soon as they won Super Bowls, I ditched them. San Francisco, did they win the last Super Bowl they were in? No. Well, they've been there before. Root for an underdog. Root for the goddamn Arizona Cardinals. You live here.

You wouldn't know it by your fuck-pasty looks. Do you live in Sunblock, or do you just never go outside? I go outside sometimes but just not for a long time. Yeah, why? Because other kids beat you up? I was the same kind of guy at your age.

I just get completely burned. I don't get tan. Yeah, well, it's alright. Rob Zombie, who else? Who else do you like? You too. You too? I fucking slept out for tickets in Massachusetts.

True story. I slept out for two nights with my friend Keith Kingsbury for tickets to see you too. And their first big album. We slept out in February in Massachusetts. Have you seen Snow? And I'm not talking about Blow, so don't go with the obvious joke. Yeah. So, yeah, I slept out in that for two nights to see U2,

and not because I even really liked them that much. I liked them all right, but we just were trying to be badasses to see if we could sleep up for two nights in Massachusetts in February. So, all right. So you do have some musical interests, but Bad Grandpa. My favorite movie. You know what?

My favorite movie was Bad Santa. I mean, when you're my age, and you probably won't be with the plans I have laid out. When you're my age, you can't pick favorites. But my favorite, my mother, when she killed herself, the last movie we watched before we assisted her suicide was Bad Santa. And Bad Grandpa, not the same, it wasn't a trilogy or anything,

but yeah, Bad Grandpa, the shitting scene. What's your favorite scene, I should ask first before I lead the witness? Shitting on the wall in that booth in the restaurant, farting, and then spraying shit against the wall.

Is there anything funnier than farts and shit? Maybe. Do you have a favorite scene from that? What's the first thing that comes to your mind? The one where the boy gets lost and he calls the one girl Cinnamon. Oh. Well, yeah. The scene with the boy getting lost.

Yeah. That's going to be your favorite scene for a while. All right. Is there anything else we need to talk about? This is a mini cast. I don't have a lot of time. I'm writing a book. Have you ever written a book?

Yeah. Really? What was it called? Can't remember. Can't remember. Yeah, I know. Again, you're a wet brain like me. So read, well, listen to Howard Stern. Read Artie Lange's book.

We talked about that. Do you know how to use audible.com? Do you know how apps work? Yeah. What's an app that you use? Because I don't know a fucking thing about this. Seriously, this phone in my hand, it's like a phaser to me. I don't know how to put it on stun.

On my iPad, I know App Store. What apps do you use? Like Tinder? Are you on Tinder? No. You're trying to hook up? Because you were all about that last time when we talked, we were at the fights, watching the fights. You were all about these ring girls.

I'm like, I don't give a shit anymore. I want to see blood. Oh, my God, that fucking guy's nose. And then the last guy, oh, jeez, that was the bloodiest fights. Have you seen UFC before that night? No. You seem delirious, like maybe that drink's kicking in,

so maybe we should bring this to a safe place. All right, do you have a favorite U2 song or Rob Zombie song you want to close out this minicast with? No, I like all of them. You don't have favorites? What are you, a fucking parent already, for Christ's sakes? Your dad already likes your sister more because she's never here alone.

All right, we'll just play one Rob Zombie or U2 song. Thanks very much. We'll see you next time. Thanks, some eight-year-old boy. You're welcome. You're welcome. What are you thinking about? What are you thinking about? I see you

I'll wait in the cage and piss upon the stages Only one sure way to bring the giant down These strange cemetery things With one flat foot on the devil's wing Color Man was singing to me Dead on living figure Singing to me, dead from living in gear I'm waving the geek in a stool in the free Like a hunchback juice on a sentimental news Operation Phil, they love to love the wealth of an SS

For making scary sounds Can't allow me to sing and tell me I'm living in danger Can't allow me to sing and tell me I'm an amazing ninja I'll fight on Jack, hallucinating hat takes a dollar in its dollar bills. Goldfish machine creates another theme so beautiful they make you kill When I'm in, I'm sinking, dreaming, dead from you, living dead girl When I'm in, I'm sinking, dreaming, dead girl A light on her skin

Dripping with sin Do it again I'm living, dead girl A light on her skin Dripping with sin Do it again I'm living, dead girl