The Doug Stanhope Podcast - Summer Evergreens: Kenny's Replacement + The Russians Stopped By...
Episode Date: August 3, 2025A Double-header, two-parter. First up, the latest Kenny update followed by a throwback to October, the day before we left for Ukraine, when these 3 Russians stopped by...Support the show: http://www.P...atreon.com/stanhopepodcast
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Hey, welcome to the Evergreens of Summer.
This is a two parter, completely disjointed.
Part one is where Kenny's lost his job that allowed him to sleep on the floor, yet still
he managed to get fired and then finds out someone in the room actually took his job. Then of course Lucy Breakers has a beautiful spot that
I have that I present with aplomb and then part two goes back to when we were
packed and leaving for the Ukraine and oddly a Russian fan and two of his
Russian friends one who was in the military as a, uh, to, to be a, uh,
torturer, basically, uh, they show up at the house randomly as fans.
And, uh, we thought that as kind of queer that, uh, on our way to Ukraine,
Russians show up at the door, but you know what?
I can't say no.
So enjoy the evergreens of summer. Part Kenny part Russians, all possibly
enemies, but friends as far as I'm concerned.
I did. I did yesterday. They have field day ham radio field day in the park. And
they have the they call it's called an Elmer
that's your old guy that you find who mentors you and I need to find me an
Elmer so I went over there early and volunteered to go I did the opposite of
what they do in prison I went up to the smallest guy, and I offered to help.
And next thing I know, I'm putting up antennas and the newspaper people are taking pictures,
so I'm gonna be in the fucking newspaper
putting up antennas in the park.
Thank you for a mentor.
And then after a little while I was there
and I said, yeah, I've been practicing.
Jenny'll put that in front of a judge one day.
She's got tons of evidence.
I told her to just get a hold of him if she needs any.
He's really a nice guy.
Totally not going to murder the neighbor.
Yeah, I talked to a old guy who does Morse code.
That's basically what I want to do.
Morse code.
That was one of the openers that I wanted to do for the last few weeks. I've been practicing Morse code, that's basically what I want to do. Morse code, that was one of the openers
that I wanted to do for the last few weeks.
I've been practicing Morse code.
I'm not really sure what my intention is,
but I'm pretty sure it's just to further isolate myself
from the rest of the group.
What?
Just in case you need to reach out and you're
do-de-do-do-de-do-de-do-de-do-de-do.
I gotta write that down as I keep saying is that I drink Bud Light
As an excuse for when you try to sell me on one of your local shit craft beers
Well, I drink Bud Light to stand up for trans people
I was with Andy earlier and he said you know about it I go to the you know the the brewery or the tap house what do you got that's like a Bud Light they've really fucked you very
much more and more I used to say that back when they were first started I did it innocently
for the longest time I had no idea that was offensive. I think that here at the ballpark
Yeah, like what tastes like a shitty
shitty pills
Yeah, I don't I don't like that heavy fucking shit that seems like a wheat fucking sandwich, yeah
I know
Hey, look they give me your worst
Put it on them. That's so certain. That love that, give me your worst beer. Put it on them.
That's what our lawyer would do.
I look to Andy, he's that here.
All right, so Kenny is gonna tell us why you were fired.
Well, inconsistencyency as he put it.
Get out of town!
No!
He said it was the hardest thing he's had to do.
Which I can understand because we're pals.
But he did it pretty easy.
He came over here one night during football
because I have all this frozen fruit for smoothies
and he goes, I can make those, you know, a margarita.
And then he did and everyone loved him.
And then he said it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.
Not me.
So pale.
Now you're fucking one up us again.
Kenny.
But so, well, there was an incident on Friday of last week where I had decided to drink Carbombs at 10am at Elmos.
What are those?
That is Guinness and then Bailey's and Irish Whiskey.
And you drop it in and you chug it, it's like chocolate milk.
Well, I had two and they are delicious.
And they go down quite smooth as you're thirsty.
Is that because there was no poppers available?
The poppers in town aren't copper worthy.
I just sounded gay.
It was that weekend too but so oh
poppers were bought up so before noon I was already pretty drunk knowing me I
don't I'm a lightweight as you can tell um and so I decided to go get a fifth of
vodka with a couple other people and drink that as well with a
great ghost which tasted delicious by the way it was delicious not a sponsor
no it's just name of things I don't know whether the great ghost slash promo code
Stan hope if you didn't have a sponsor yet, it might now. But anyways, and yeah, it was, so by two, I was hungry and I decided to go to work and
get some tacos and another drink.
At the place you work.
At the place I work.
But I was by myself.
I was-
Wait, what time are you supposed to work?
Let's-
Well, I work-
Get some parameters to see where you're at.
To see where you're at at the late night hour.
I'm not lying.
Oh, alright. So you weren't scheduled for work.
No, I was not scheduled for work at this point
and I had not called off or not.
No show.
No call either.
Alright, the next early morning to a...
I was doing good for like two days straight.
So...
Wow.
Shit.
You know, Ro?
No, I mean I'm glad.
Yeah.
You said you were.
Those were my days off, Christine.
I'm telling you! She made it like, good for off, Christine.
She meant it like good for you, buddy.
No, no, no, no, there was no condescending.
Not at all.
He didn't come out that way.
Full house on that one.
But it's okay.
Anyways, I deserve it.
So I go into work, I get a drink that which I was in a great mood
I'm like, you know chatty
It's only three people in there and I knew everybody the lawyer guy that's dating that's alright
We get to the point so and then I go back to the kitchen
I can do that with Andy I go back to the kitchen and I I don't even all I say is hello to the cook and
the guy that's on his phone always back there and
he
Says to me he says to me. I am NOT here for your amusement, and I'm like the fuck and I'm drunk now. I don't
Really take kindly to dumb shit when I'm drunk
I don't understand why he was being a dick and he'd said it again
And I'm just like bro
I didn't what the and I just I don't know if I said anything to him at that point but I did
turn around and I go back out to the bar and I sit down and I looked at Mike he
was talking to Gabe and I told him I said you should probably tell the cook
to have some kind of respect for me pretty much all drunk and he told me to
calm down so I was like okay I took a sip of my drink put money on the bar and I fucking walked outside and
got in a fight with the wall and lost
as you can see. Oh yeah
you were trying to show me that earlier and I
you left me with more questions than interests
which made me go get access by the way which I still haven't gone to the doctor
because of this yet
I'm I feel like it's a little late but that is very swollen and and a
week and so I might knew that I had shown sent him a picture showed on my
hands that I'm gonna miss tonight I'm not no show no no call and he says I
kind of got that and I called I made sure the next day to message and he said
I seen that in the foreseen future so on and so forth and then I
Get a text the other night saying he hired somebody else which I kind of expected
Which you know who could ever take your place? Oh, I feel like it's my friend Josh
Who's in a band with me? Well what what if we knew who took your place? That's okay?
I kind of expected it. We're gonna gloss over the Kenny's in a band
Very the fucking lead here. Yes. I am in a band. Sorry monkey keg. We perform tomorrow night
at
Icing
Can can you do us a little acapella know your greatest hits no no no it's very heavy
We need like heavy guitar and stuff of that nature.
All right, we'll do it.
Oh boy.
Oh, no, no.
I don't know.
I'm doing it sweetly for you.
That definitely don't work.
But it consists of a lot of like Rob Duke yelling,
stuff of that nature.
It's fun.
Oh, so it's like, is that?
Oh!
So they can't understand a word you're saying?
You should do comedy like that too!
That's pretty much what I'm doing.
Understand a word you're saying.
That's pretty much what I'm doing on stage, which works.
But so, yeah, anyways.
So yeah, Mike felt regretful for firing me.
He says I'm still the taco servant to Caleb.
Hey, we we get to the
How did he fired you that night? No, no, he fired me like a week later.
But did you work in between?
Uh-uh. I couldn't really lift too much.
For a week?
Well, you... Hey, I can't mow if I punched your wall.
And the wall is on.
Wow. So I knew instantly when I hit the wall like an idiot, which I know better than to do that
nowadays.
I haven't done that in years.
And I heard it and then I looked down at my face and it had this bubble that had instantly
shown up right in the middle of my hand like like a golf
ball size hematoma thingy majiggy and all I could do was walk around down the street
to back to the golf like an idiot showing people and asking them is it broken because
I couldn't look at it because I feel like I'd pass out if I did and which they almost
passed out every time they looked at it so I I mean it is what it is So no one bids me for you know, the intellectual hub that it is
Did you give me pussy?
based off of
Yeah, did you spin that?
My first thought I would try to it's not like you have I'm not really good thinking of those things as you can ask Christine
Gary, I'm not good at coming up with good excuses.
I know I wasn't driving my vehicle when I...
We tricked you as much as we could.
We told you what to say.
We're the first ones.
And I'm still going to court for that still.
Oh my God.
At least the lawyer lady's nice
and she's trying to knock it from 9,000 to 2,000.
Just let us.
Why can't we talk for you?
Well, you can't come in.
Yeah, because that's his representative.
August 5th.
I have another hearing
Is not here they're very inconsistent themselves
They've lost their right
I haven't paid them yet. They've lost their ride.
They're a big job.
We'll be able to afford a car again soon.
Can I use chat GPT?
Yeah.
I have that.
I just was about to point out all of the late and yeah.
Yeah, it's not on camera.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
It's kind of looking weird at the end.
Well, if someone did take your job.
Here's my pal. He took your job. What if they're in this room right now?
I needed the money.
I took Carrie's job. I took Carrie's job.
Gary Lucy. I just I just was informed on my earpiece.
Gary Lucy, is that true?
Yes, Jerry.
It's, yeah, yeah, it's true.
Mike said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
Oh, it was Gary, Gary, Gary's little-
Really?
Wait a minute, I thought you-
Don't they just give you notes as they're stars?
Wait, is this-
Ah, I had to do it in the experience. Wait, is this real? I had two-wheel experience!
Wait, is this true?
It's fucking true!
It's about time one of you guys got a fucking job.
It's like I'll be doing yard work at your house while you're up there saving the day.
So if you think about it, thanks to Kenny, Gary's gonna get his car back.
Long high remains an Inbound all crashed.
Yes.
I can't believe this.
Oh, my Lord.
Like sand through the hourglass,
these are the days of our lives.
I'm being recorded.
We'll tell you later.
Okay.
We'll say it's your worst form of money,
but you probably are, so.
No.
Wow, we...
He does have previous janitorial duties.
Oh, that's hilarious.
I can't believe this.
What a twist.
I thought you all were fucking with me.
We haven't seen a twist like this since...
Oh shit.
Pull up back door and give me a hand.
Pull up back door. I me out of there right now.
I need to get some guidance on it.
There was a debate between that one and the cliffhanger.
Get back door up here right now.
Oh my god.
He's probably working.
It's Sunday.
I'm going to go swim in his pool while he's at work.
He's got the pool back?
Fuck yeah he does.
Alright, let's go all crash his pool shall we?
Oh my god, we should.
I don't know how that new pit bull is towards strangers.
Is it their house?
We got him, he's great.
He's just an ugly fucker.
I know, he's like a little bulldog.
He's so cute.
Sweet.
Alright, as this trail's off, we'll say goodnight.
That's your update from Kenny get fired from the job where he got to sleep on the floor.
Hey, I still have the key. You still might find me on the floor.
Oh yeah, because at night...
That's why Gary's makingbs. Oh shit. Nice.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
That was good.
What a twist.
What a twist.
The Ethan Schaft.
Yeah.
That was a piece of soul say shit.
I was trying to get everyone to know.
Gary did, Gary did try to tell me.
Yeah, Gary did was like that.
Like, oh I can't.
We all expected Kenny to lose his job.
We didn't expect him to stay in the family.
You guys missed it. The first podcast Kenny found out that he stinks.
The second podcast he found out that...
I'm saving you from the very saddest summer monsoon stink. Look, I took a shower and put on the odorant today just so I didn't stink.
You're doing great.
I did not whiff you at all, sir.
I know.
I refute that.
I know.
I can't.
I'm out.
See all the delays happening?
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So you guys show up, I have to ask you, are you a sleeper cell? Have you been sent because you know that I'm going to Ukraine?
Yes, yes, yes we are.
It's actually not all coincidental.
Yeah, and you're in, what is it, human intelligence gathering?
Which is a fancy word for a
You know a Guantanamo Bay type of shit Abu grave. Oh my god
Both said I have no you're gonna stack us in a human pyramid
German shepherds attacker genitals
What's the story in Afghanistan prison very very embarrassing story in American history, but...
Yeah, they got caught.
And mistakes were admitted, right?
They were taking...
It's official, why?
Yeah.
Anyway, just, it's very funny.
The reason that I even attached myself to the email. Visually his name is Vasily.
And I thought it was Vasil our guy.
And I'm like, why would it say
I would really like to see you live?
Like today.
Maybe he meant I would really like to see you live.
But Putin won't have it.
It would be nice, but I'm not gonna fight for it. As I'm packing for Ukraine, I got three Russians at my door.
And I got... Great timing.
That's a sign from a God I don't believe in. Right. So you, you got out, you 31. So you got out when you were 21 and that's when Ukraine first starts war in Dunbass.
Yeah, basically that's a crazy story because we got out right before they went in and took the Crimea peninsula.
And my family had a small summer house in there.
Is Odessa Crimea? Actually, my family had a small summer house in there.
Is Odessa Crimea?
No, that's not Crimea.
So, yeah, basically. And we went there and spent every summer there since 2009 or so.
We in 2014 we finished college and it's mandatory to go to military
Either at 18 or after you finish college
And we just finished we got our diplomas like we get it out
Earlier he told me he said well, I have an art degree, but it's not really Oh now I understand why you have an art degree., get out of so yeah, you would have been I would write one right there right at the time
And I also got like two brothers and like we would be right on time there one is kind of
he
He really spent his time what you can do is go to that like a psychiatrist or somebody who?
kind of go to a psychiatrist or somebody who reviews you if you have mental illness
and if you are passing you wouldn't be what called as a...
So would defer you from military?
Yeah, a billy billet.
A white ticket?
Yeah, basically you don't have to, you're too crazy to shoot anyone. Right. Billy Billy. White ticket.
Yeah. Yeah.
Basically you don't have to, you too crazy to shoot anyone.
Right.
Uh, so, and he spent like since probably 17, our mom told him to like go over
and just cry and act crazy.
So over time when you have to go to meals, they're like, yeah, we don't trust you.
Like you shouldn to go to military, they're like, yeah, we don't trust you. Like you shouldn't go.
But then wouldn't they just put you in a mental hospital that's worse?
That's yeah, that's a problem.
That's the possibility.
So you like, where's the line?
You have to, you have to act too crazy.
So you have to be consul, but you have to act crazy enough.
So not go to the military.
Yeah.
It is like, you have to know crazy enough so not go to the military. Yeah, you have to know exactly.
Who knows that fine line?
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, and me and the our brother, Tihon, yeah, once we...
Older brothers, younger brothers?
Older brothers, and they are twins, but not similar.
Yeah, and we got out right like few days after we got the diploma like and
yeah, now we're here and
Well, yeah, we'll be so I've had
Conversations I've kept in touch with a few people in Ukraine since the war started there their fans
Ones the comedian that Vasyl and other civilians, and nothing personal, they fucking
hate you.
Yeah, yeah, we know it.
I would too if I was there, and like, that makes sense.
Is there any part of the Russian populace that really gives it
like no one hates Ukrainians right? Or do they? Some people do who watch TV a lot
and really buy the propaganda like that's very similar to America like if
how they really got you to the point like, they hate our freedom.
And they're holding.
We hate Iraq if there's a war.
Pretty much the same story but in there.
All right.
Yeah, so some populace does buy that story.
I don't know what percentage, but many people don't.
Many people just really like.
Yeah, there's some self-aware people.
I can understand the,
because this is, we're essentially a Russia in that no one's coming
over the hills at us.
We're at all our all our wars are outbound.
Outside of the states.
Yeah, they're they're a delivery.
Yeah.
So I've never been in a position to where we're going to the Ukraine where yeah, they're probably gonna take this shit really seriously
and I wonder the fine line of
Where I could be making too much light of war because I'm used to it from here
Because our wars are they're not tangible. You don't you don't see it. Yeah
tangible you don't you don't see it yeah you don't have anybody in the crowd whose house was bombed right like yeah I don't know you guys come back with no
legs but yeah you weren't there yeah and your legs are left somewhere yeah even
now so I'm working like a music teacher so I do piano classes and some new
students some day parents, if they
know I'm from Russia, they say I would like to have Ukrainian teacher, yeah,
who speak Ukrainian, like not Russia, or sometimes they start to talk with me in
Ukrainian mostly. Yeah, I'm reading a book about Zelensky called The Showman and it talks about how when that started
in Donbass they started with restrictions on speaking Russian in Ukraine.
For the longest time, I mean he is a president himself, he was speaking Russian language. Yeah. Well before he became a president they had this he had this comedy show called
The one where he plays the president
He was playing but he had
My mom used to watch this constantly. It's like it's like you would call it like a neighbor
neighborhood 95
And all of that was an
Russian language and up until up until he pretty much became president and I remember there was this movie he starred in
It was a remake of a USSR movie
Called romance and at work. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it. No, I
Absolutely loved that movie.
He was also, you know, he was an actor in Russia
for a long time.
Yeah.
So seeing him become a president of Ukraine and, you know,
it's, well, it was very shocking.
Wow, you look all dreamy-eyed.
Yeah, because I, you know, I've only known him,
like growing up, I've only known,
oh, he's this Russian actor and he's this comedian
Wow, that's crazy
Yeah in general, it's like very complicated because obviously
it's those countries are very intertwined just because
Like many people have relatives there my dad's side is from Ukraine and they flee Ukraine when
During World War two when the Nazis were coming they like fled back to Siberia and went back to Moscow
I have Ukrainian last name
Yeah, there you go. And so like me like just really people know each other much more
it's like's probably similar to Mexico.
Well, now we're here.
It was Mexico at some point.
I don't know what year was it.
But when it became US, a lot of Mexican people
still speak Spanish, identify as Mexican.
They speak the tongue of their oppressor just imagine like
right now Bisbee became becomes Mexico again like obviously a lot like it would
be a lot of interconnection between American culture and Mexican culture in culture. And the buildings here are, they look somewhat mixed with how
Mexico looks and how American buildings look. So yeah, that's there for sure. But
also USSR obviously was oppressive towards Ukrainian like that space and like all
the Holodomor and all the starvation like it was intentional intentional and
just completely inhumane at the same time so like if Dina if you were forced to do compulsory service in Russia, would you choose the same
MOS as you have here in America?
So if I had to serve in Russia?
Yes.
And they gave you the opportunity to be in the interrogation? For the sake of my security clearance I will skip this
question but good work yeah good answer good answer
is there a reason that you chose National Guard like because you seem I
all-in you said earlier to me that hey
I thought I would go with infantry because if I'm gonna do the same as when we're going to
Ukraine like yeah if they said do you want to go close to the front and
Yeah, if you're gonna go why not go all the way which is what you said
Yeah, you know, so it's weird that you would go part time if you still wanna see some blood and guts.
Exactly, but I really like the idea of,
whilst getting to do all of this cool stuff,
all of the military stuff, staying in the state,
because National Guard deploys more people
than active military does.
So, and it's more on voluntary basis.
So it will feel like I have some sort of ownership
of where I'm getting to go.
Like all of my classmates here
who are also going through training,
they don't get to say where they're going.
But I can be like, oh yeah, I'll volunteer to go to Poland
or I'll volunteer to go to South Korea.
Oh yeah, more say. Yeah. So grab some pictures to South Korea. Oh, you have more say.
Yeah.
So grab some pictures from any angles.
Yeah.
Back there.
It feels like I have some sort of ownership.
And with National Guard, it's also,
you will have more of a chance to take care of the people
within the country as well, like even with Hurricane Milton.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
National Guards are the one.
National Guard is the one who takes care of like,
out there and helping people.
When I was working in hotels, back during COVID,
we had, yeah, we had a,
we had a National Guard unit staying in our hotel,
setting up all the COVID vaccination stations,
everything, you know, just being out there and helping.
And whilst there's a joke between all the drug sergeants, they're like,
oh, National Guard is the weekend warrior.
I'm like, well, you're not out there helping people.
You're just, you know, you're obviously you're doing something,
but you're not as involved with the community itself.
So I really like the idea of you know
He smells spies
Throw him up on the table
He's speaking Russian. Yeah, for sure.
Probably.
He's trying.
I'm going to try on a different level.
Get him.
Can you pick him up?
Yeah.
Or is he going to freak out?
Can I get him?
Let's chuck him on the table.
Did you want another beer?
And did you want another drink?
I'm pretty drunk.
He's very nervous to very drunk.
I guess all the stereotypes I did have about He went from very nervous to very drunk.
I guess all the stereotypes, I drink rarely and I get drunk fast.
Perfect.
So I'm good for now.
Thanks.
Oh, you're so cute.
You're so cute.
You're so cute.
What's his name?
Meatwig.
Meatwig.
That makes sense.
Oh, you're so cute.
I miss my cat.
I have one at home. What's his name? Meatwig. That makes sense.
I miss my cat.
I have one at home.
I miss her so much.
At home in Portland.
They live in Portland.
Well, they all live in Portland, but she's
here for training.
So Bingo's from Portland.
That's where we met.
We met in Portland.
At a comedy club many years ago.
Oh my god.
Okay, so National Guard,
so your weekend, what do you do on the other time
in Sierra Vista?
It has to be a living fucking hell.
In comparison to the Pacific Northwest,
it's very depressing out here, but hey.
Well Sierra Vista is very depressing.
If you moved Sierra Vista to the Pacific Northwest, it's...
Why did you choose to live here?
Like you could live anywhere.
Well, Bisby is beautiful.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
Yeah, we actually, some of our instructors and sergeants,
we were out here hiking on the Bisby 1000 stair challenge
last weekend.
And I was like, oh my God,
I never knew Arizona can be so pretty.
They have space.
Yeah, they do.
And it was gorgeous.
Oh, have you gone towards Karchner Caverns?
Not Karchner Caverns, there's the other one.
Anyway, yeah, there's pretty shit
between here and back to Sierra Vista.
If you go the back way on Highway 90, I believe it is,
and Coronado, yeah, you just go up in the hills.
And I, for the first time, it's like, what,
35 minutes from here, and you're on the top of these mountains, and I for the first time it's like what 35 minutes from here
and you're on the top of these mountains and I'd never been I never followed that
sign that says left to a basically it's a national park not a national park but a
state park yeah there's gorgeous shit all over and none of its in Sierra Vista
absolutely none of it you go there to get your shit from Target or Walmart or Big Lots
and they have one good sushi place.
They do have, they do have, there's this place that's like Mexican and Japanese cuisine.
Yeah, Tako, Takimaki, Maki, Tako, Takomaki.
What is it?
Takomaki, yeah.
They combine tacos and sushi. Yeah Mexican and Japanese cuisine
That crazy. I've not been here for such a small town in the middle of nowhere on a border with Mexico
Yeah, there's a shit ton of Korean restaurants. Yeah. Well cuz I'm Americans marry Koreans
Yeah, and you know, yeah, it was such a big surprise
I'm like wow.
If we had that many bases in Japan or you know you know Mali you'd have lots
of Ethiopian restaurants and you know but we're in Korea. Yeah. And more a fan of the women than the food. That's fair enough.
So you've never been to Ukraine?
No, I've been there.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
So yeah, when I said that we had a summer house in Crimea.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, and it was Ukraine.
At the time we were there.
Yeah. Ukraine at the time we were there yeah yeah we traveled through Ukraine and
been to few places and as an adult were you there as ever as a teenager yeah
where you could go to clubs did they have a drinking age. They do have drinking age but everyone drinks way earlier than that.
Well yeah. Supposedly to be 18 but it's not a hard task to find a drunk 13 year old out there.
The joke is you start here at 21 officially and we actually kind of when we are a side of it like oh I'm gonna cut out at 21 that's like
I'm past this date. That's my AA age. Yeah that's when I get a sponsor and a chip.
Glad you came by I don't know that I have any other questions for you.
I did talk to Veronica for her podcast on her camera, and I realized as I'm talking,
I gave her our entire itinerary.
Like we fly through LA into Amsterdam, through Warsaw, then we're be picked up by a man named Vladimir
you're not filming this are you you are well don't tell anybody friend of Putin
yeah I have questions for you go ahead well like I'm a fan. So I've been watching you and seeing your specials, but I have no idea like
Do you have any siblings? How did you grow up? How did you become this?
Geez, I also have three books that you haven't read
I haven't and I saw you promoting it very shamelessly and I like I'm not gonna buy those
For these questions only the first
one digging up mother addresses my entire story early life yeah but it's a
but it that's my whole life I see but yeah brother I can't get it I'm not a
big family man or a man of country and what I don't like all right it's in the book yeah put him on
mic you get some of that that's I saw some of this meat wig included I wanted
to get him crying like that on mic so we can just anytime someone's bitching
about something you can just lay that in to anytime we have someone on the podcast and they're complaining
We can just play behind it
All right, well I don't when do you go back back where back where
Yeah
14 back to Oregon. Yeah, so yeah, what's what is your trip?
Why why here just to see her? Yeah, we
We just arrived yesterday. Yeah, so basically how it worked. I wanted to get my car over here. Uh-huh
Yeah, we took a trip like yeah, just drive it over for me. It's like a 12-mile
Yeah, it's a 1200 mile trip.
Yeah.
It took almost two days.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
Did you go down to I-5 through Los Angeles?
No, we went in Las Vegas.
Oh, good.
Did you go through all of Nevada?
Yes.
Fuck.
Yes.
And there's clown motel.
Yes.
Yes.
I've stayed there.
I got a photo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've stayed there many times. I love the back roads in Nevada
Thank you that I got goosebumps because I like you would have cheated yourself by going through Los Angeles
I took a picture and I said this is my ex-boyfriend's hotel
Yeah, cuz I was like I was spending was spending so much money on different shuttles
and Ubers just to go to different places on post and off.
I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to be here for another two months.
Just bring my car over here.
And the idea of also going on a road trip as I'm going back sounds cool
yeah I'm looking forward to that good Jeff follow their footsteps because
this is nothing better than back yeah Nevada I do enjoy Rod trips yeah yeah we
actually before kid just took it did it take camera. It's too late now. Oh no, never mind.
Skateboard accident it sounds like.
I skinned my knee. Womp womp.
So you're here for how long?
You mean in America?
No, on this trip.
Until the 14th.
Until Monday, yes.
Well, assuming we make it back, you are always welcome over. We have football every Sunday, so you don't
have to like it, but we have it. Some of those interrogation guys, if they're football fans,
we have the best sports.
Oh, we do have so many. Because at the end of each week, we're sitting in class and before
they release us for the weekend, they're like're like okay so what's the good thing that happened to you this
weekend there at least four of them they'll say my team they won you know
something like that yeah there we do have some crazy football fans yeah I guess that's
a Sierra Vista that's a probably a Buffalo Wild Wings kind of place that
your friends go to watch football.
Probably.
Like the worst, like TGI Fridays. But if you're a football fan, it's got all the necessary shit.
But you're always welcome by, and I'm gonna get back to packing. I will wait for a...
Vasily.
Yes.
Vasily.
Vasily. Vasily. Vasily. Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily.
Vasily. Vasily. Vasily. Vasily. Vasily. Just for Dida, not for us. I actually hadn't... When I learned that phrase, it sounds very good, but sometimes it doesn't work, because I was in a gym one time.
Well, one time in a gym in a dressing room.
A guy saw I had a phone and asked me to... Can I call? I need to call someone.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, anytime. And I'm like, oh, really?
Dude, that would be great if whenever you're here
when I'm in, I can make a call.
No, I didn't mean that.
That's totally not what I meant.
One time is enough and please don't look at me
anytime when we see each other again.
So I assume that's what you meant right now.
So I assume that's what you meant right now. As long as she's in that horrible Sierra Vista, Fort Huachuca, yeah, come out any given Sunday,
we're here and then there and...
Wanna go on a hike?
No.
Sunday is for football.
Yeah. I don't football. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Did you have any other questions?
Yeah.
Like.
I know you have meandering stories.
I absolutely love stand-up comedy.
And as a compliment to your role in Louis C.K.'s one of his episodes.
Just nice.
I actually was wondering, dude, did he really do it?
Did you kill yourself at the end?
When I Googled you, oh, he's still alive, all right, great.
Yeah, like, you really were feeling it.
I'm pretty sure you have contemplated suicide, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So why didn't you do it?
I didn't say.
I contemplated all the time.
It's just the human nature.
Yeah.
It's not because I'm depressed.
Many humans do suicide.
So it's.
But it's not in it's a.
I think it's enough for you drunk.
Oh, no, no.
His, his story is never end.
I know it's a dark topic, but it's a human topic and you should have your own podcast
too.
It's
topic but it's a human topic and you should have your own podcast to it's eventually gets to the point
as a Russian spy like have you contemplated have you I'm sure you have
I have a bit on the new special let's close on plugging the new special that he's been
torn away from editing, but I do have a bit about Bingo and I, we look at suicide as a
business option.
Like, oh, like we do in the Canada realm.
He died penniless.
Why is that a bad thing?
That should be what you strive to do right at the that
Yeah, let's uh, let's let's get out of here while we're ahead one
We have no bucket list and and the bit goes from there. I won't give away punchlines
But so keep your eye out for that. We had a situation a few years ago where there was a possible pull the plug.
And she's like, no, absolutely.
We're not, we joke about it, but seriously, yes.
Just.
But ever fucking since then,
every little thing she's,
yo, I just did two weeks in Canada
and I go, while I'm gone,
can you find someone
that will do weed whacking, this fucking overgrowth,
it's fire season and there's dead fucking weeds everywhere
where it was parking and...
But then I would have to talk to people
and I have social anxiety and I don't have any money
to pay them so I'd have to go to the bank
and my gas tank is empty, Can't we just kill ourselves? You know, not for landscaping issues.
We just got solar installed.
Why?
And then when I'm at a fucking breaking point
and I'm calling home from the road,
I got fucking drunk last night,
I think I started a cult.
Now they're all staring at me, and I don't,
maybe you're right, we should kill ourselves.
No, we can't kill ourselves now,
because they just released a new season of Catfished.
That's a fucking dumb show, it's all fake.
Well, we're just waiting to, Catfished! That's a fucking dumb show, it's all fake.
Well, we're just waiting to...
You know when you meet up with a friend, you're like, we're gonna go out tonight, let's meet
up at this bar and then we'll go from there.
And you meet him at the bar and whoever's late orders a drink, you're almost done with
your drink, he orders a drink.
So then he's done with his drink.
When you just ordered another drink,
can you just end up two hours at this shitty bar
because you're both waiting to be,
that's what Bingo and I are doing with suicide.
We're both waiting to be done with life at the same time.
Are you good?
Dessert menu, anything?
All right, let's fucking wrap it up
while we're on the same page.
Not every suicide has to be a depressing thing.
If you've...
Most people go, oh, it's so sad.
Well, maybe that person was fucking great with it
You're just sad, but I'm sure there's others
Suicides that we're not about depression. It's just fucking how about some common sense or
we look at
Suicide is a business decision a lot of times like okay
We could do that and then
Okay, we could do that and then we'll...
You know, anytime you hear the expression, he died penniless, why is that a negative?
That should be your goal.
This is what you strive for.
That's like down to the fucking,
put the last dollar and 75 cents on a gift certificate?