The Doug Stanhope Podcast - The Doug Stanhope Podcast: Rob Dukes, lead singer for EXODUS and GENERATION KILL

Episode Date: October 21, 2013

Doug sits down with Rob Dukes, lead singer for  Exodus, and talks about the road, condiments and  metal. Rob introduces his new band, Generation Kill.  Recorded in West Nyack, NY with Doug Stanhope, Rob  Dukes and Greg Chaille. Engineered and Produced by  Greg Chaille.Support the show: http://www.Patreon.com/stanhopepodcast

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast. as soon as we get home to Bisbee. Right now we're on the road, and we just had a chance to speak with Rob Dukes, a dear friend and lead singer of the legendary metal band Exodus, as well as his new project, Generation Kill. Here's that. All right, this is the Doug Stanhope podcast, live from yet another motel room in West Nyack. Actually, we're in Nyack proper. Now you are, yeah.

With Rob Dukes, lead singer of Exodus, Talkin' Condiments. Yeah, and Generation Kill. I'm in two bands now. Oh, Generation Kill is actually usurping Exodus. It's my new, it's, yeah. I say that just to create riffs with the band. Hey, my fucking band, band rob dukes cornered me with an elbow to my throat at a coke machine at the best western and said generation kills is way better than exodus

ever was or ever will be and don't say that on the podcast or i will fucking kill you and then i then i slashed his face and that's where the scar came from. Anyway, a lot of this is bullshit. Everything I just said is bullshit, but we have to start somewhere. But we were talking condiments outside because... And lack of in Europe. That's how it started. Yeah, because you play outside the country mostly.

Yeah. You play to 80,000 people in Brazil and come back and you sell shoes at payless shoes or something like that yeah yeah some horrible yeah i were i did that i don't do that anymore now i uh you know you didn't really work at payless shoes but i had a regular job then i came back i was floored dumbfounded when you said oh yeah no i still have a day job you played more people in a show than i play to in a year yeah and then have a fucking day job when you get home yeah have you ever considered

moving to one of those places well i guess if you moved to one of those places then they'd go old news old news yeah pretty much um yeah i mean you know it's kind of uh the way you know way it is man i mean you know You know what it's like Touring You make money No I don't know What it's like Well

A lot of the The show that you saw The DVD Is a festival in Europe I never watched the DVD Okay Then I'd have to make up a lie Yeah

Because you know I hate music Well you saw me in front of 80,000 people right Or did I tell you that No you told me Okay yeah we played Our DVD was in front of A huge crowd

And it was a festival of like There's like 80 bands In over a three-day period. And we just happened to draw one of the biggest crowds there. Like, we had everybody in front of us. You didn't just happen to draw the biggest crowd. Yeah. They know what they're going to see. No, they were going to see us.

Yeah. So, it was kind of cool. But normally, we play 2,000, 1,500 a night. And we'll tour for three months and do that. And I'll come home with a substantial amount of money, but I also don't want to fucking blow it all, so I work to kind of maintain a sort of a life when I get home. Music has to be, well, it's tied with acting.

I think fucking Bill Burr probably talked about this. I have that now i listen to bill burr so much but i retain so little that i have that the whole south park simpsons did it yeah i think bill burr said that too jesus i'm never listening to bill burr again uh but you know it's astounding that you, like music and acting, there's so many fucking people trying to do that that can do it. I mean, comedy, people, when you get a fan, they go, I'm a big comedy fan. Let me guess, you want to be a comedian. Yeah, because anyone can learn how to play a guitar.

They can get a lesson and learn how to actually do that. Not that they could be good or be a good songwriter, but they can learn how to actually a guitar. They can get a lesson and learn how to actually do that. Not that they could be good or be a good songwriter, but they can learn how to actually do that where you can't learn to be funny. No. Actually,

I have a, like me being a huge fan of comedians, the, I have what wanted to be one, but I know I'm not funny. So like, you know, I think you have the coolest job in the world because you're only responsible to yourself i on the other hand have four other band

members i have you know a label to answer to and i have all those other things but also just at the root of of music teach someone how to actually Anyone can be a reggae guitar player You know I always said I don't know why they call it reggae They should just call it Bob Marley Cause that's the only one you ever Fucking hear

But if you wanted to you could quit Your job and go do that You could find a band and make a living. Anyone can be a cover band. You can't be creative. To try to write new songs and have original songs and try to make them make it is really hard, especially in the last 10 years

since music became harder to make money from because now whatever you do, like say it costs $100 thousand dollars to make a record and that's really the kind of the going cost between 75 and 100 000 right you you spend that money to um to make a record which day one goes you expect to get money from it because all your work that you've put in months and months of writing and rehearsing and and then the day you release it it becomes free to the world for anyone to take so that money is now gone so the only money that we make is from touring and selling merch so if we don't tour we're not making any money and you know so i had to isn't that kind of great on some level on some levels it's cool but on the

other level you know what i mean it's like You know we still have to pay back That hundred thousand So You have to be good You can't Like the Rolling Stones Have to Oh yeah But like You know I think it's kind of Weeding out the weak at this point

Because the younger bands Can't They don't have that To fall back on You know what I mean Like The bands that are established Can

You know what Fuck the record companies We're gonna spend our own money And we're gonna keep All our own records And we're not gonna We're not gonna give a percentage to anybody. So I was thinking the other way that a band like the Rolling Stones that's just famous,

you go, I'll fucking steal their shit. But someone that you're behind, oh, that has a grassroots kind of thing, you go, no, I'm going to support them. I want to. I have people come up and give me money at the merch booth and say, i stole all your shit yeah so here is some money well yeah i'm like i own every one of your cds i own you know everything you've done and i do it because i'm a fan and i know that in my heart of hearts i said i want him to keep doing stuff so i'm gonna give him money and i think a lot of people do that and there's a lot of people steal because they don't have money yeah they don't have russians don't have money south And people steal because they don't have money Yeah, they don't have it

Russians don't have money South America, like Europe They don't have money, dude And you know what? If you can, cool But at least they come to shows and stuff So that's cool enough So I expect it

I remember an early album In the liner notes I went, hey, steal my shit Not thinking Oh, if you're stealing my shit You're not going to see the liner notes That's all you're paying for. Yeah.

No, totally. I mean, but, you know, if people, you know, you look at it like this, you know, two cups of coffee at Starbucks equals an album. You know what I mean? If people are going to bitch about, oh, they're fucking rich rock stars and they, you know, they have, you know, you know,

like you don't make the albums for free. You don't tour for free. If, you know, you could spend the money on 10 bucks for something that you really like. You know what I mean? Like you've never let me if you know you could spend the money on in 10 bucks for for something that you really like you know what i mean like you've never let me down anything you've done but there have been bands that i've loved and i bought all their shit and then they released something i'm like oh that sucked and i don't buy the next one so they kind of so you have to maintain your well you also have to yeah be out there and be good you can't just

oh yeah we're fucking old well there's a lot of shitty bands. We're laying back on our laurels, and we're going to just pump out a new thing. No, there's some shitty bands doing that, man. I saw Twisted Sister, dude, and they were the fucking worst live this year at a festival. They were fucking horrid, man. They were up there. It was like, wow, I know how much you're getting paid, and you fucking suck that you're doing that. You're acting like that.

You know what I mean? I'm so afraid of being that. In my early days, I was afraid of what I, again, dated reference, William Hung syndrome, where, oh, maybe I just think I'm funny, and I stink and don't know it. And then you go, well, I remember watching the guys I liked when I was a kid. Yeah. That just went into, you know, just boring.

And I don't know if I'm that guy now. I don't know if I'm the old boring guy rather than the new young kid that thinks he's funny. Maybe I'm the old guy that's phoning it in and doesn't know. Not once. phoning it in and doesn't know. Not once. I think one guy, Carlin is the only guy that I can point to that was funny throughout.

Yeah, sure. He had some dips and that's what gives me confidence is yeah. Yeah. Some Carlin was fucking shitty and he put out a million albums and some of them sucked and he went through suck periods, but he was still good at the end yeah but he's the only guy i can think of that had a career like that that was consistently i thought funny too well he was 32 when he died young yeah so 32 yeah so his career was

i wasn't i wasn't rogan's been pretty funny for for pretty much from the beginning he's pretty much stayed has stayed the course of of being honest which i think is a huge part of it don't you yeah but i i i think he's put out two albums maybe four i don't know i think it's two but but he talks all he's like he's you know he's out there he's fucking great yeah everything he does it's not it's not like you base this on two and a half hour podcast every day and he's consistently interesting and funny and always trying to better himself.

But he's not old. That's my point. To look back, I always look back at the writers. Hunter S. Thompson, Bukowski and guys like that where you go, okay, you can be a writer and be old and still be better than you used to be.

Comedians usually have a shelf life. Name three comedians over 50. Louis Black started late. Yeah, he doesn't count. No, you're right. No, you're right. Yeah, you're right. In 20 years, we'll have the same conversation. We'll be able to mark it up then.

But again, writers, old people read. When you play a bar or a concert hall or wherever you're playing, the audience is 23. People who go out and drink and party are 23. You can be an old writer well that's the thing about Exodus it's everywhere from 15 kids, 15 year old kids to 40s because there are people like me

who grew up on listening to heavy metal and they still want to see the band that they grew up in the 80s listening to if they're still good bands like Slayer are still good there are some bands that aren't but we're one of those bands that are but as much as i don't like music yeah especially your music yeah mine too i have fucking no i mean that genre fucking revolver magazine did a quick short

five top five piece where they go doug stanhope uh you'll be you wouldn't be surprised to know he's a heavy metal fan. No, he's not. No, I don't even like music, much less heavy metal. I know. But we do have a similar fan base. Yeah, I noticed that tonight. Not a lot of people. You're not going to play a fucking wedding if either of us play your wedding.

Hey, we have a comic and a band, and it's you and me. A lot of people are fucking leaving early. Yeah, totally. and it's you and me, a lot of people are fucking leaving early. Yeah, totally. So we do have a similar tenacious, loyal type of fan base. Yeah, that was cool. And I remember that's how we kind of became friends because you were on the same circuit we are.

And I remember telling my fans, dude, you've got to come see this dude. I've been listening to him for years. And that's how our friendship kind of started. Flint, Michigan is where it started. The magic, what was the name of that club? Magic Shithole. No, the machine shop. Machine shop.

I had some syllables, right? Yeah, I hear you. I love that place, man. It's a great show. I remember that place. A guy got thrown out in the first maybe six minutes, came up to the stage yelling, oh, you fucking think?

I have no idea what he was talking about, but I don't even get to a joke that's offensive for 20. Sometimes. But this guy, I remember that night. Fuck, what was I going to? God damn it. Condiments? Condiments. There are none was I going to... God damn it. Condiments? Condiments.

There are none in Europe. We'll get to it. That's the problem. Now, Flint, Michigan. Yeah, that was where... That was right at the middle of the... Beginning of the recession, too. That was like that whole era.

And that town was just fucking devastated. Yeah, I think that finally made it onto a CD or DVD somewhere. But I said it forever. You guys build cars and you still don't leave. That's like having the keys. You're a prisoner who has to make keys to your own cell and never put two and two together. It's probably out there somewhere.

But the Misfits, that's what it was. The Misfits is the most common band t-shirt I see my loner school shooter fan base wear to my shows and I go I should really look them up

they're a New Jersey band I didn't know it was fucking what's that weird guy's name though he was the original singer Clint Dan dancing not yeah dancing like dancing yeah jesus dancing because i'm always every time i i make loose reference to my fan base i go yeah a lot of knock need school shooters and misfits t-shirts and i never knew the misfits but I did the same thing. I looked at their calendar on their website. A lot of the same venues. The same venues, yeah.

Yeah, man. I've been, you know, you guys have the coolest job. I mean, to me, it's stand-up comedian, guy in a band, tattoo artist, you know, actor. It's all the kind of, but you guys have the most freedom because you basically you get to speak for your own self and whatever tattoo artists we're gonna have to go uh that's why i hate people filming your show because comedy if my show is stank it just floats off

into the atmosphere and it's your word against mine right unless you film it filming is the tattooing of a bad show yeah tattoo artists you stink oh my god it's there forever yeah or until they laser it off and yeah actor i don't even consider they're just fake people yeah but i think it's i think it would be i think at times it would be a cool job i'm not i'm talking broadway actor i'm talking you know stage every night still pretending to be at times it would be a cool job. I'm not, I'm talking Broadway actor. I'm talking, you know, stage every night. Still pretending to be someone else. I know. Still a cool job.

Yeah, no, it's a cool job. That's my top four. Yeah. Comedian being number one, but fucking not funny at all. I'm only funny when it, when it really, when it's true and it happens right then and there. And then sometimes I can be funny. But on stage, man, it's when the music, like something breaks on stage, it is a fucking nightmare, dude,

because I'm the only one with a microphone, so I have to talk and I tell my one joke that I have that happened to me. Just steal my shit. And that's all I have, you know?

Steal my shit. I've said one thing, what do I say? Make sure all you guys fucking get fucked up tomorrow because there's no reason for you to go to work not hungover.

I said that one. I said that's Stan Hope's joke but that's it's all right for me the rule has always been you don't steal other comic shit on stage uh but if you're at a bar and you're trying to fuck some girl and that one line is perfect. And yeah, you steal at the bar all the time. Yeah, I give you props for every time I steal it. If I steal at a party, I give the guy credit. Yeah, totally. Absolutely.

But yeah, at this point in my career. I don't want to be Mencia. It's like Dave Attell's greatest joke. Yeah. But if you have to steal to poon a chick, oh yeah. Act like it's your own all day long. Yeah. Yeah, I have one joke, and it was actually a true story.

It was actually on a plane to Heathrow. The fucking lady next to me, she's like 90, and she was doing a crossword puzzle, and she had the fucking light on, and I wanted to sleep. And I'm like, fuck, and I'm sitting there for like 30 minutes. So finally, she puts the crossword puzzle away and goes to sleep without turning the fucking light off and i'm like he's fucking content i'm like in my head i'm freaking out and i want to reach over and turn it off but god forbid she wakes up and leans forward and i grab her tit and she freaks out and i fucking and all of a

sudden i look down i go oh shit that's my light and i fucking and it was my own fucking light that's the only joke i got and it's my own fucking light that's the only joke i got and it's a true story and that's the one i tell on stage when shit breaks i uh you've played denver denver airport is in kansas basically it's so far out of denver and i show up i'm pushing my limits on the flight i got my shows at nine i get there at 7 30 say and i'm waiting at the baggage carousel and my bag doesn't come up and i'm nobody at all at this point i don't even have a credit but i'm yelling at the fuck i have a sold out show 18 people actually uh they're waiting to see me i'm just throwing out all this bullshit yeah of what

i hope to be one day and you've fucked up my bags and i'm gonna tell the crowd and i'm just through a fit and she's like i'm dealing with a customer yeah but i have to be at a show i was so scared of being fired right for not getting there on time that i'm making a big scene like i'm someone and then she has to bring out the chart of all the different bags what does your bag look like I'm like it's like that anyway the baggage carousel is right behind me so she walks literally 10 feet and the only bag that's going around the carousel behind my back is it like that i went thank you yeah yeah that was one big lesson i remember about don't be a fucking asshole yeah i try

i forget those a lot yeah we actually we just did a tour in europe and they lost all our shit and like forever lost like guitars and drums and gear and and like like thousands and thousands of dollars of shit and we had to go to these festivals and borrow from other bands to play our show on stuff that we weren't used to playing and our washboards rob dukes yeah it was fucking you know we none of us had clothes all gear you know because like you know you know we get all sweaty and shit so i wear the same clothes every night for 30 days which makes me smell awesome by like day three you know what i mean so um those are that's why your girlfriend knows you're not cheating on her pretty much we actually have contests who can go the longest without showering which is you know brendan

walsh and i did that and we got to eight days, but evidently you crushed us. 23. No shit. My guitar player did 24. And I had long hair at the time, which was worse, because you weren't allowed to wash it. It was awful. Junior Stopka right over there. Yeah. He gets dandruff like a snow globe by the end of a tour.

Oh, I was awful, dude. Dude, as a matter of fact, I would fucking take my dick out to piss and gag from the smell. That's how bad it was. It was, oh my God, my dick smelled like a rotten pussy. That's what it smelled like. Then you know the days when you fucked a girl with your

pants kind of on and then just pulled up your pants and left and then you forgot you fucked her for two days and then you pull your dick out to piss You're like oh gee Oh Jiminy Christmas Yeah one of those that's how bad it was Yeah I get that without the pussy now

Yeah I know that smell Yeah Europe is a strange place man I mean I love going there though Like the shows are always Did you ever fuck a girl With that smell No I don't know

Have I honey No And you're She's only been around For a short while Compared to your career Yeah But in the day

Don't remember Alright I don't Let's talk about condiments Did they lose your condiments In Europe No They don't have any

Ever The sandwiches there Are it's butter or nothing. Oh, the butter. Yeah, they put butter on everything. Butter and one piece of cucumber and one piece of fucking ham and then bread. And that's like all that it is. I've always said that condiments are the only reason you eat any food, is the condiment.

Let's just blow this part off. It's just something this part off. It's just something to start with. In the UK, they have nothing. I bring my own now. You have mashed potatoes and no sour cream? No bacon? You just

eat a potato by itself? What are you fucking retarded? Yeah, they haven't figured it out yet. It's fucking crazy. Cocktails. They have no ice ever. Ice is fucking never. Yeah, they haven't figured it out yet. It's fucking crazy. Cocktails, they have no ice ever. Ice is fucking never. A cocktail straw. I want a fucking rocks glass with a lot of ice. Can you imagine that? I want to jingle it like that.

No fucking ice. Try to do this in a plastic cup to get the sound effect. Ice is like a fucking, it's like really? You can't get fucking ice motherfucker? We played in Austria. It was 120 degrees and they couldn't get ice. Like we would put washcloths in ice because when you're running around on stage, you get the lights and it's fucking a hundred.

Now it's 150 and then everyone running around the room and it's like, it's just brutal, man. And you need that to cool off to fucking keep, keep performing. They don't have any ice, no ice at all. Yeah. Ice machine in a hotel? Never. They would consider that a condiment. Ice? No.

They haven't figured it out yet. It's just a different form of one of the four what do you call them? Elements. Thank you, Junior. When Junior Stopka has to give me vocabulary, it's a rough night.

What about everything tastes different? The Coke, the ketchup. Even the mayonnaise. Yeah, the mayonnaise. Bingo, we went to a McDonald's with Dog Sores. Shout out, Dog, from Norway. And we're trying to get him sobered up enough to get home. And she got McNuggets.

For $90. I forget what they, what, she goes, can I get it with ranch, I think. One of the normal dipping things. No, no, they go, we have curry. Oh, curry, yeah. Yeah, curry. Something, just three of the most random things. K things ketchup like one was the most basic thing that's not a sauce that's ketchup yeah curry ketchup or some fucking i don't know yeah and they charge

you for it extra and it's always like a meal like like a happy meal and and and it's like you know twenty dollars american i mean everything is like the price it's overpriced and it's like you know $20 American I mean everything is like the price is it's overpriced and it sucks even Subway we called Subway our embassy because it kind of

tasted like something you know and it still sucked but you can imagine like it's $5

basically when you pay 3 euro for a Coke that's basically like almost like $4.50. That's how we save so much money.

We would never go out drinking in the UK. Because in Manchester, there was a place, it was an overpriced hotel that they put us up in. I paid $19 for a double screwdriver, where a double is what is a single over here. Because they have measured shots where they're putting what is a single over here yeah because they have measured shots where they're putting it in a tall glass and so you see the vodka go in in a measure and it's this yeah this much and then eight ounces of orange juice i don't need that much orange juice all right one is and that's 19 fucking dollars Yeah. So you buy the cheapest shit you can drink in your room. That was a belch.

I should have projected the belch. We're on a podcast. You couldn't see me swallow it. Yeah, so we drink in our room, take a lot of downers, sleep away as much of the fucking tour as possible, eat when necessary. Now, have they invited you to Japan? Have you done Japan yet?

Not really. In 94, I did two tours in 94 for military. Not Japanese? You never left. This is dead busted starting out comedy.

Hey, we play Korea first Where everything's cheap as shit You can get tailored suits for a dollar And they measure it and they'll have it made the same day But you don't get paid till Japan Well I showed up here dead fucking broke And now I get paid in Japan Where a fucking Big Mac was literally $9 in 94.

And now it's ridiculous. So you don't leave the base. And that's where you get introduced to Sbarro Pizza and Burger King, who only survive in places with no competition. I fucking hate Burger King and Sbarro Pizza so much because they're only on like highway turnpike fucking rest this next fucking turnpike toll road rest area you can get off and get food you like or you can get burger king and sabaro yeah and tc by yogurt yeah yeah yeah shit yeah total yeah i mean have you been to south america

yet no south america is the shit dude. We were talking about that. South America, that's my favorite place. The fans are crazy, but the food is amazing. The people are amazing. They're fucking just all about being nice, man. It's just like a cool place to go, man. Brian Hennigan, my business manager, my partner, my L.A. guy, he does all. Evidently, my third biggest following after U.S. and U.K. is Brazil.

You got to go. You can do shows there. You got to go, dude. You just got to go. Just do it. Well, Joe Vernon, who you met tonight, one of my oldest friends, his wife that you met is from Brazil, and her father owns tens of thousands of acres, and they have houses. Yeah.

And my buddy owns a hotel right outside. It's in Paraty, which is halfway between Rio and Sao Paulo. So we actually toured and did shows around there and then stayed there for like three days. And it's like paradise in this little teeny little teeny, you know, run down city. But it's small. But it's so fucking great, man. And, you know, I'm getting more and more terrified as I get older.

And I'm like, I there's a lot of crime there. It's become better, I think. I think like Mexico City is bad. Like, don't leave the hotel. Matter of fact, we had police bring us from place to place. I mean, it was kind of, like, crazy how crazy it was. And Sao Paulo was fine. I mean, you know, they had to have police bring us.

Chile was kind of crazy. But, well, we went to this huge restaurant. Crazy crime crazy or just fan crazy? Just fan crazy. Like, you know, so we have to kind of sneak in everywhere. But we went to this free open market and had king crabs. They brought in a huge table, and they brought us all this shit. It was killer.

South America was great, but Japan was awesome. And some of the third world countries, like China, was interesting as shit to see. My band are the partiers, but I ate all the weird foods that no one would eat. I ate the silkworm, and I ate the beetles, and I ate the scorpions and stuff. I tried all that shit. All right, let's get into that. It was awful, dude. Because you're a sober guy for a lot of years. Yeah.

Ex-hardcore, now 20-some years of sobriety. So if your band are like hardcore partiers, how do you fit into that? Are you like Greg Chaley, the guy that, oh, we can count on Dukes to pick us up. Or are you the weird guy that they get fucked up and watch you eat silkworms? That kind of stuff.

I'm a little both. Are you the retarded kid that they enjoy? I'm a little bit of both, man. I will try, you know, I will try any kind of weird food Like when we went to Japan I ate all the things they told me Like this is really fucking strange and eat that I'll try it I'll try it you know what I mean

And most of the time it sucks and it's awful But sometimes you're like oh that's not that bad You know like uni isn't that bad But I'm the guy I will But how do they see you do they look at you like the retarded kid Because you won't party or the sober adult because you don't party well they've they've heard stories of what i how i used to act from like you know all my older friends that you know when they've come out and hung out so they're kind of glad that i don't party because if i did i wouldn't um i you know i probably would

drink myself out of the band anyway you know i mean i was kind of a drunk so they're kind of cool for that and they know that uh even though i instigate a lot of the drinking and in the partying and i'm like the bartender and i still you know do all that i also you know what you do so you like you you kind of fuck with them a bit i kind of fuck with them a lot i kind of do that you know what i mean like you know go ahead do that yeah i'm gonna fuck with you in the morning so i'll get you you know you know but also like I have my moments too

where I get I'm over it you know what I mean so what do I do I just go I either take I leave or I go by myself

somewhere or I you know you know just kind of split catch my you know cause I can't like a lot of times I've never I never judge anybody

for what they do until it affects my life personally so until they fucking do something crazy that fucks with me, I don't really care. You know, which has only happened a couple of times,

you know, where I've had to like throttle a dude, choke someone out and go, you know, you're drunk, go to fucking bed or I'm going to knock you the fuck out. You know, like one of those,

it's only happened a couple of times. And, um, I've had to do that drunk. Yeah. Inman, James Inman. Yeah.

But for the most, for the most part i don't you know it never really happens it's just kind of like everyone's hey my guys are i think for the most part they're only like that on tour like when they're home they're just home bodies and they don't really they're not like that bar guys when they go out and they drink at home you know you know but for the most part but when they get on tour, dude, it is like summer camp, you know? Yeah, there's a couple people I could name, if I could name their names, but I can't. Andy Andrist and my brother.

Yeah. Yeah, Lealtas and my drummer, Jim. They have their home life, but when they can finally spring break. Oh, it's on. Yeah, man. Late stage, middle age. Totally, it's like a midlife crisis, yeah.

But yeah, I mean, for the most part, it's usually funny. Yeah, no, it. Totally. It's like a midlife crisis. For the most part, it's usually funny. Yeah, no, it's great. It's comical to watch, especially when I can remember it all, and I know that I'm going to write it all down and tell the story one day. Good. And you're fucked. You know what I mean? Like, whatever.

You know? Enjoy. Yeah, you're not fucking kids. Yeah. You know, you make an ass of yourself at this age. Someone's going to talk about it. Plus, you know what I did? I filmed age. Someone's going to talk about it. Plus, you know what I did?

For the first five years in this band, I filmed everything. So we actually made a DVD of five years of compiled stuff that I had partying on the bus. And my guitar player is such a partier on tour that he couldn't show it to his family. He's like, I can't because the entire fucking thing. He was fucking drunk over five years i never i got him sober once to interview him for a little segment once like for a minute yeah he was like sober but for the rest of it he's hammered him sober once he had a year's stretch no i got him sober for um like an afternoon yeah an afternoon and then he you know yeah so that's but you are at the same place as me where now we're at an age where all the people that we used to party with have fucking real jobs and children and family so you can't just do what we did at fucking 25 yeah yeah hey joey got his

cock sucked by a half man yeah because now joey's a dentist yeah with three kids and a mortgage and you know yeah i mean so i mean for me it's a you know i love doing what i'm doing and it's kind of like i'm grateful to do it i'm like this you know this came later in life and i was 30 i was 37 dude when this happened i was just a regular dude like okay yeah let's back up for people who like me don't know fucking exodus from a hole in the wall exodus was like one of the guys was in metallica you were the you you you you were the uh doug stanhope joe rogan to uh jimmy the man yeah to the mansion you were a replacement guy yeah the original guy original guy died and then the guy that replaced him and

did a few records like just quit one day he just said fuck it i'm not doing this anymore and quit so the band needed a singer and they're like because they kept yelling do ziggy soggy ziggy soggy and you go i'm not that guy so i i fucking said all right i'll do it and they asked me to audition and i got the gig and i had known them and and so i was 37 though i was 37 years old I was starting to go bald. That's fucking weird. I was fucking getting a bald spot. My hair was starting to fall out. But if it had been 10 years earlier, it just would have been different.

But I think it happened at the right time because I was responsible. Well, it happened at the right time in that hair bands were going out of style. Well, actually, it was coming back. Thrash bands were coming back. Actually, it died from Nirvana and Seattle. It was a baldingding joke oh yeah i got it and then you know no you didn't i missed it i did i missed it uh yeah so actually i had long hair for the first couple years in the band then i was like i look stupid i got a bald spot and i shaved all my head off our friend captain rowdy was a comic he was a like controversial comic, and he had a mohawk and leather chaps and fingerless gloves and a biker vest, leather vest,

and he kept that up until he was balding. He had a mohawk with a male pattern balding spot in a mohawk, and no one had the courage to say, Rowdy, you can't really do that yeah i saw a video of myself after you know and i it was from behind me and i was like oh that's it you know what i mean and i fucking shaved my head like that day i'm like you know what that's it i'm done and i shaved my head so yeah i've tried everything i have a very awkward like i have a back lump like alien on the back of my head.

So when I shave it, you can see this curvature of this fucking, yeah, it's like a cockroach's hind end of the back of my skull that sticks out. So I can't even shave my head. Wow. So all I can do is go, like if I did, I've done it before, shave out the top Friar Tuck style. And wear're like and I look exactly like Ron Howard's brother yeah because I have the exact same fucking awful teeth yeah the giant Clint right yeah Clint Howard he puts him in every movie yeah I look exactly like that

guy and I can't do that so yeah what you jump on Clint a poster tonight what you jump on clint howard no no just jump on a mic oh i guess you can't chaley's trying to talk yeah all right a guy had a poster tonight with you with the shade oh yeah with the shaved head yeah oh with me with the shaved head yeah some guy ray soto is a comic that i've known forever and i blow off all the time and i should try to help him grow but I don't have the time. Yeah, but he had a picture of the two of us when I had shaved my head out like that. Yeah.

And it creeped out the audience so bad that I looked like a wicked, awful pedophile. I thought the toupee was good. That always made me laugh. When I did that, I shaved off the entire top with the fryer tuck and then put an obvious toupee on top of it. It was always askew a little bit. Well, it wasn't stuck.

It was not a whole toupee. It was a hair piece. So if I swung my head left or right, it would move, and it would fall off, and I would never address it. Oh, yeah. It was awesome. Yeah, you're awesome. Yeah, but there comes a point in time where people like get confused by it and then you're just more wrapped up i'm trying to balance i want to get

some silliness back uh yet maintain some integrity i don't know i don't know what the fuck i'm doing i should just quit now. But anyway, this is not about me. This is Rob Dukes. Yeah, you, no,

you're, dude, you're fucking one of the most awesome and you're like highly intelligent when you do your comedy. You remind me of, you know, like, like,

you get dumb picks and all that. I mean, you do that, but well, you do it. You know, you always have,

man. I'm not here kissing your ass. You're just, I'm a huge fan. You know, what, what, what time are we at huge fan. What time are we at? Yeah. What time are we at?

No, no, no. 38. How long are these usually? I'm going to pause. I'm going to take a piss and smoke a cigarette and just try to regroup to see if there's anything that I wanted to talk about that we missed rather than go, Oh, we need to do 48 or 50. And yeah,

that's the great thing. I'd like something to like wrap it up though. Yeah. And then, uh, we're going to play a song. I'll email you a song. No, I'll just get it.

It doesn't matter. You're just telling me. Yeah. Okay. He knows all about you. He's like fucking Exodus. that's a big band yeah i mean that's a fucking long time yeah man i mean they were fucking they're legends oh wait you're not talking to the mic you're always talking to the mic they're always uh yeah man i mean exodus were fucking they're they should have been you know part of the top five like metallica slayer megadeth anthrax they were they were originators of thrash metal that was you know the originators hang on i i get i i

hang on i have to drop this because i i fucked you over i had a bad day and we won't go into that because that's a other podcast but uh yeah tonight and i really was having everything in my soul to deal with the crowd and then we're here in nyack new york where's a lot of polo shirts and older people that are not at the rock and roll clubs i play yeah let's just say that but then as the end of the merch picture booth thing there's three fucking wayne's world guys oh yeah they were two of them had Slayer shirts on, but they were almost cartoons of those guys. Yeah. If Saturday Night Live was doing a skit.

They were that cartoonish. And I kept screaming at you. I'm going, I don't know that you're even there. I'm going, Rob! Because I see them. There are two people back in line, and I know they're about to be a problem. And I'm screaming, Rob! Rob! And then I saw the back of your head you couldn't hear me you're in a conversation right by the door

they were shit face too by the time they got to me you finally came around where you could see me i threw me under the bus yeah again again train wreck and throw me under the bus are two things i'm trying to never say again because they're too ubiquitous and i i should be more clever to come up but i threw you under the bus until i come up i i yeah take him up with a better one all right i fucked you in the ass let's just not even yeah it's just yes and i go oh hey you guys know rob dukes from exodus and they go really yeah and they just completely turned away from me and went to you and i made you fucking eat that cock because i had a bad day and i wanted you to have one yeah man we're gonna have a cigarette this is doug stanhope talking to rob dukes lead singer of

exodus from a hotel room drinking pop-up vodka hey drink pop-off vodka and uh you know what you won't live so long but you won't remember all the bad times wasted blackmail sponsorship right now if you don't sponsor me this this is what you get. Dollar Shave Club. Yeah. Shave your fucking face. You're going to check the mail? Oh, my mailman gets here. I have to be to work at 7 o'clock in the morning.

I need to shave, but my razors don't show up until 10.30. Oh, they're going to stop mail on Saturdays. Oh, how will I shave? Go to the the fucking store just spend the extra fucking dollar or use a bick razor and down shave just down shave use shitty razor and down shave do it a couple times more or just grow a fucking beard dollar shave club stop it unless you want to send me money we're with rob dukes lead singer of exodus and uh his way huger band that he thinks is way better than another dumb band he used to be in. A fucking something kills. Generation Kill.

I know. I said that. Something. I was going to say something and then make the seventh caller call in. If you know what the something is, whoever said generation, you're right. All right.

I'm never wrong. I never fuck up i never forget anything generation kills whoever said that you won uh free if you're the 49th call it a wild man steve you win a very your very own imitation suede parrot. That was a commercial I remember from Vegas in 86. Okay, I'm way too fucked up. Rob Dukes, lead singer of Exodus and his own band Generation Kill. It's kind of like I talk about the porn voice on satellite radio where all the... Cougarlife.com oh why do you have that voice

adamandeve.com i'm a whore do whores have to have the same voice everyone who does radio does hey it is we're with rob dukes every time i be serious It's a strip club DJ. I go to fucking Hey, it's the Doug Stanhope podcast. I don't know why. I don't even do it. I'm director

commentary of my own fucking podcast. Rob Dukes. Hey, man. We didn't talk about this on the air. We talked about this earlier. my own fucking podcast. Rob Dukes. Hey, man. There's a... We didn't talk about this on the air. We talked about this earlier. You might not have even been in the green room where there's only a few people

that you feel comfortable being fucked up around when you know they're sober. Like, hardcore long-term, not shaky. I'm trying my best man my wife will leave me but uh maybe if i just sniff the tip of your beer but yeah so joe vernon who is here tonight that you met yeah he's the guy that i wrote the bit uh that i used to do about i have had AA people tell me you're funnier when you're drunk.

They have to admit it. That's Joe Vernon. Okay. Yeah. He's like, all right. Yeah. Okay. I stayed for three shows in Davie, Florida.

Yep. First show, sober, stunk. Second show, okay. Third show, really fucked up. You found blow. You knocked it out of the park, even though it was scattershot. Couldn't keep a train of thought uh you were one of the people that's fucking sober in a weird field yeah fucking

i don't i see if i say death metal he'll go oh it's not death metal it's thrash metal it's just metal dude it's like oh it's not trance music. Did Bill Burr talk about this? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, it's just metal, dude. People started putting labels on it. It's just metal. It's just heavy music.

But I feel no problem being fucked up around you. Mike DiStefano. You were friends with Mike D. Yes, I was. Oh, Jesus. I keep blowing off some guy that wants to interview me. He was going to come up here tonight doing a Mike DiStefano documentary. Have you talked to that guy?

No, not yet. All right. His brother on my call. There's some guy doing it, and he's like, hey, can I come up and do an interview? I know he's a great guy. That's all I can say. He's a great guy. I don't know anything about him.

He was one of those guys that you can be fucked up around. Yeah. And he didn't. Yeah. He didn't hold it. Yeah. It's, you know, I think just like I said, dude, I don't judge anybody for what they do. And like, if I could drink, I would.

I just for me, dude, I wasn't good at it. But you did have a point where you called me and you went listen i think i want to try i want to smoke weed mushrooms i thought i wanted to smoke mushrooms i want to do dmt i wanted to be able to try to expand my mind but i also know that you know pot made me really paranoid at the end when i you know last few years am i using and uh but i went through a couple years of man i you know i wish i could just smoke pot. I wish I could just, you know, cause like the one thing about being sober is you're always sober. Like you don't really get a break. Like there's very few. And then I get one, when I'm on stage performing, that kind of gives you that, that release of that endorphin in your

brain. I get it when I ride my motorcycle once in a while, I get it when I'm scuba diving or something or doing something, you know, crazy that's taking you out of your element. But other than that, I really don't. I'm kind of stuck in reality all the other times. And I kind of miss that downside of having a few drinks and fucking relaxing. The problem is I'm so afraid of being who I was when I quit because I was just not a good guy. But there's also youth involved in that I was I was a kid that would torture gypsy moth caterpillars I had

Hitler like torture camps I was every uh uh profile of a serial killer when I was a kid yeah honestly I I think if I didn't have jokes, I would probably serial kill people. Yeah. And I found an outlet. So people who are sober... But I was the same way. At 14, I was homicidal and suicidal,

and I found drugs and alcohol. So I think that let me live for another 10 years. And then when I got to the end of that 10 years I was like you know what man I'm I'm a human being that I don't really like looking at in the mirror and I said you know what I think this might have something to do with it but I wasn't sure so I called a buddy and he helped me out and I've never done anything since and I've stopped and I you know I like my life right now and I'm afraid that I would fucking do it and then regret it. You know what I mean?

But it's the same as dieting where people go, oh, I don't eat anything that could possibly make me fat. Right. Whereas sobriety is the same way, you know, they ever. Oh, well, drugs are all the same. And you go, well, no, fucking doing drugs are all the same. And you go, well, no. Fucking doing heroin is not the same as smoking. Pod is not. No, it's not.

Anything like mushrooms is not. Anything like drinking. So sober people go, well, to be sober, I can't have caffeine or nicotine or I'm a Mormon. But they all do different things. And maybe you have a problem with one of them. When you say, I'm sober, I don't do anything. You're like the girl that only eats rice cakes. Pretty much.

Have some chicken. I wish I wasn't. Have some chicken. Yeah. Well, but I get so fat because I eat a lot of pie. It's not pie. It's chicken. Eat some fucking chicken.

I wish I could. There's sugar in salsa. I really do. I wish that I could go. You know what, man? I think I could go have three beers and be okay. And I probably would be for a while. But inside my own self, I know that, you know what, man?

I'm one of those. The makeup of my body and my DNA just doesn't allow me to socially. Like if I drank, we wouldn't be friends. I wouldn't. I ruined everything. I just ruined everything. I'm not talking about the one you have a problem with. I'm saying when you say, well, no one's ever done mushrooms

and reacted the same way. Totally, yeah. Hey, I'll try mushrooms alone yeah i wish i could just i just want to smoke pot i just want to be able to come home at the end of my day and smoke pot and then go to bed that would be fucking awesome you had a problem with pot no i didn't exactly that's what my point is but my and i understand that and my point is the fact that you know what I'm afraid that in my head

my head is trying to kill me in any way that it can no life is trying to kill you so I'm afraid that if I smoke pot it would be like well I've smoked pot so I can have a fucking beer and then if I have a beer then you know I can have a fucking vodka and then I just I don't want the consequences that come with it and my

consequences for myself were really bad i'm just saying i you know and i would never talk anyone off the wagon yeah again i think we mentioned rouse in this already he's not a guy that you go come on man you can have just one yeah But you have to separate the same way you do with food groups. Yeah, totally, man. You know, listen, I haven't read it all. I'm diabetic, so I can't eat meat. It's the same as saying I have a problem with alcohol, so I won't smoke pot.

Right. Well, see, I'm also an atheist, so, like, AA is hard for me because I don't go anymore. I mean, I'll go if somebody new wants help. But I have a problem with the religion part. I'm completely interrupting you because this is a podcast and it's permanent. And I never want to have to say it on stage every time. Right.

When I say I'm atheist and you fucking tweet me and go, that's the same as being a religion. It's the same. No, I am the atheist. And I've used the joke for a minute yeah I'm agnostic that means I believe there could be a batman

yeah that part that chapter but I don't know and I don't want to have to say that every time and fight you fucking faggots atheism is still a religion no I'm saying we're all agnostic everyone is agnostic in that no one knows even if you think you do you're still agnostic because you don't fucking know so i say atheist because i think what you think is bullshit because there's a one in 700

billion chance that it's true but it's not there's no fucking batman so stop questioning me when i say i'm atheist it's it's more succinct yeah that's why i can't do a anymore i just i couldn't i had i'm kind of like i have my a few friends and like you know i've talked to a bunch of people about it and i just uh i can't go and and think that uh and go along with what they think you know what i mean i have my own deal and that's just how it is man i mean i'm able to survive on a tour bus surrounded by drugs and alcohol and not and not get high and not drink and i just i've been doing it for 20 years so you know yeah you know to go to a meeting and talk

about that is not a disservice to aa it's just like you know what i can't do it man you know what i mean it works for some people but yeah you, you know what? It's not for me, dude. You know, placebos do too. Totally. Absolutely. Just because you saying it works for some people,

uh, is such a cop out when you go, well, build a better mouse trap. Yeah. You know that religion is bullshit. Well, it works for some people.

Well, then use that as a basis to try to get it stronger towards logic you know yeah i can't don't lay down on your laurels religion a.a dr drew bullshit that that yeah i can't go along with any of that so you know i kind of live my life the way i live it and i'm cool with it but i i wish that i could i just i'm choosing not to because i don't want to end up uh fucking drunk in a fucking dumpster somewhere because that's where i was at and i mean i was a i feel like you're pointing fingers at me with your eyes no i listen i look in the mirror and i have this big scar on my face i know that's yeah what's the scar on your

face from from being a drunken fucking asshole and fucking getting into a fight. Oh, see, I don't do that. Yeah, man. I know I can't fight most of the time. Well, so did I. I just ended up in a bad situation and ended up that way. And it was bad. Let's close on this. Yeah.

We have a 24-hour embedded journalist from Vice.com who I fucking love love that show I don't check my email I check it and then I don't answer it one of the oldest emails in my inbox is from vice.com asking me if I'd be a contributing writer

and I was so terrified to stink at that that I didn't delete it I just kept it I can't do a deadline but I so terrified to stink at that that I didn't delete it. I just kept it and I can't do a deadline but I so want to be that fucking Hunter S. Thompson that I'm not, that I never deleted it but they sent a guy writing for vice.com who is everything that 60 Minutes will morph into for the next generation we hope so jackass meets well they their shit on hbo is fucking brilliant the shit on there

yeah it's the best show on tv terrified of vice.com like yeah i can't live up to that fucking expectation so they said this guy he's he was at the show tonight yeah again what for vice.com kind of a fucking brilliant time to be here yeah it was heavy way too much reality and not enough comedy but it was heavy but i hope that's what i'm known for uh this guy just seems so fucking perfect he's our 24 hour embedded writer freelancing yeah and he just looks

completely fucked up doesn't have a lot to say which I I no no no just in general I think you're gonna to be a great writer. Yeah. It's going to be a good piece.

So, yeah, I guess I don't know why I was going to close on that. I knew he wouldn't say anything. That's the start of the tour. Oh, yeah. First night of the tour, West Nyack. Now Nyack proper because we have to stay nyack adjacent yeah we don't have west nyack hotel money uh yeah i'm gonna come see you in albany too i'll come hang out with you again good see how it goes the next couple weeks always a pleasure you're moving to arizona i am

moving to arizona fuck new york i'm out yeah fuck new york and fuck that old band of yours the exodus people because you have your own shit going on that's fucking right yeah you're a night ranger New York. I'm out. Yeah. Fuck New York and fuck that old band of yours. The Exodus people. Cause you have your own shit going on. That's fucking right. Yeah. You're a night Ranger now. What? Yeah.

You have some super group of fucking thrash metal. Is it thrash metal? Is that, I don't know. Fuck. I hate to say it. It doesn't matter. It's metal.

It's just metal. They all, they, someone, some douche bag came up with all that shit. Of course they all do. Everyone wants to be different yeah yeah

so dude thank you for having me on man shut up you're not on yeah yeah we stopped taping a long time ago

we're just afraid you're gonna hit us those big ham fists with fucking knuckle tattoos yeah every time someone sends me a shot of jagermeister now i go no yeah when i lose all my toes to fucking diabetes i'm gonna get uh knuckle tattoos on my

toes that they cut off yeah with jagermeister tattooed i'm gonna wear them like a string of fucking beads my own toes so i need to know who your tattoo artist is to put Jagermeister on my toes Larry Davis Larry Davis there you go I should give you a plug

yeah Larry Davis I should have said that explicit tattoo Suffer New York great guy yeah I think it's an abomination and you can't be buried

in a Jewish grave yeah well and there's there's some kike chick I gave AIDS to and I want to I want to get one more chance at her anyway And there's some kike chick I gave AIDS to, and I want to get one more chance at her.

Anyway, Wes Nyack, bad day, good podcast. Rob Dukes, Junior Stopka staring from the background. One weird... All right, I won't give all the credits. This podcast is brought to you by Paws. Do we have a weird sponsor we're going to do? I thought we were going to do Topps, the old legal pads. Oh, is that the name? It's Topps, right?

Topps, legal pads, right? I need fucking reading glasses. Yeah. Topps, you sure? That's a fucking... Yeah, Topps Business Forms. There it is. All right. You make Tops, you sure? That's a fucking... Yeah, Tops business forms. There it is. All right.

You make one up, there you go. Tops is also baseball cards. And they're also, they make rolling papers, too. Yeah, but that's one P. Tops is two Ps, the baseball cards. This podcast brought to you by Tops Legal Pads. I write on them. Other comics put their shit in of

smartphones and gadgets. Fuck you, gadgets. I like a yellow legal pad and a pen yet to be named until they're sponsored by me. Or sponsor me. Either way. No, not

that pen. No, there's a fucking pilot pen I gotta find out the name of those are not bad but i'm gonna find out i'm gonna find out my favorite pen but right now tops legal pads that's tops with one p and the gidgeon's bible which we steal out of every hotel we stay at and sell for exorbitant prices to the public as a stolen Bible. And you know what? I don't cheat you. I will not sell a not stolen Bible.

They are all legitimately stolen, and that's why they're overpriced, because there's only a couple, because I'm cheap and I make us double up on the road. That's the only way we can afford junior stopka another sponsor of the show junior stopka why don't you fucking book them because i'm gonna stop i give every comic a little while to fucking try to make something of himself and yeah you have to junior stopka has no business savvy so you're gonna have to find him at junior stopka on twitter or find his facebook and find 50 people that want to see him and then book him and i'll come out to your place

for 500 bucks and then make a tour of it you you have to figure out booking as much as you want underground comics to come out to your town all right's enough. We had a long day, and in the morning, I'll probably cry a bit in the van. Been a fucked up day and a nice end to it. Thank you. And playing us out is Rob Dukes with his new band, Generation Kill, Prophets of War.

Yeah, right! Generation Kill Prophets of War Yeah right Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm Are you in fear of retribution For all the actions of your past In the wake of your destruction All the lives shattered from your wrath Are they holding you

Do you feel like me anymore With all empathy You just take the call Did you ever stop to question All the lives you've destroyed With all your lies and your corruption How could you have us lost the sun?

Are they haunting you? Do you feel any remorse? With all empathy You just take the course I'm not that I feel Like to die alone In a person of me Correct bureaucrat Died in Washington

Redeemed war like a king I spend the ballpark That you really want They don't care about you They are your miracle Keep digging all your pills They never see the truth We will save the world

Burn to us We are the prophets of war We will save the world Burn to us We are the prophets of war Fall to the side Of the human race See the final call The devil spells us With the filthy lies We'll see you next time. To keep me We will save the world Murder us We are the prophets of war

We will save the world Murder us We are the prophets of war We will save the world And the world We are the prophets of war We will save the world We are the prophets of war We will save the world We are the prophets of war We will save the world

We are the prophets of war We are the President of War Good evening Tonight, I'd like to talk to you about the end of the world And the United States of America This afternoon, I spoke to former President George W. Bush It's well known that he and I prayed about the war from its outset. We will disrupt, dismantle, and terrorize the world. Demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace.

There should be no hope. May death bless you, and may darkness bless the United States of America. Thank you.