The Flycast - PREDICTING FORMALS SUCCESS ON OpTic HALO | The Flycast Ep. 39

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

This week we have Hitch and MaNiaC bringing back The Flycast to discuss mental health in Esports, Player salaries, and Formal playing on OpTic Halo! Check out the OpTic Podcast here:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/optic-podcast/id1542810047 https://open.spotify.com/show/25iPKftrl0akOZKqS0wHQG PREDICTING FORMALS SUCCESS ON OpTic HALO | The Flycast Ep. 39

If you were to guess what episode we're on, what would you guess? If I were like, hey, I'll give you $500 right now. Actually, I will. I'll give you $100 if you can guess what episode. 37. Holy shit. 39. You are too off.

Fuck. Lightcast, 39. What's sad is I was like 37 in my head, but I was like, we didn't get that many. We didn't get that far. No, dude, I didn't know it was, I didn't know it was that much. we go through so many waves. We stopped the wave seven months ago, and I asked you why the other day,

and you said it's because you were anxious? Flycast, anxious? Or just from the, like, the optic podcast? I went through, like, a phase of, like, I feel like I'm still in the phase, man. I'm like not, I feel like I'm, like, not comfortable ever. Like, even on, like, the optic podcast. You're not comfortable,

On the optic podcast, I feel more safe because there's four people. And I'm like, all right, if I got nothing, like, someone will pull something out of their ass. Hex will fucking ramble about something, whatever. Yeah. But I don't know. I just like, I feel like I just started blanking and like, I don't know. I don't know what it is. I feel like after, well, of course, fucking after rehab, the scariest thing was like getting off Xanax because I would actually have to feel emotions and stuff.

yeah um but i think after rehab we started doing the podcast and like i feel like i had so much to talk about like felt motivated and like that helped a lot like even on like the optic podcast whatever because i feel like i just had so much to say like you know i was gone i disappeared for like basically a year and then once i started saying everything it's sort of like the hype behind my comeback or whatever was like dying down and it was like getting back in the regular swing of things with life uh i don't know i just started just being super anxious not even about just like podcasts and stuff just like talking to people just socializing just fucking just living uh i feel like when you came back you had so much so much to talk about yeah there's always something

because no one knew what you were doing all 2020 all 2020 Yeah and that's why I felt like it was easy Yeah And then they got to a point And it wasn't just the fly cast Like I didn't want to be in any content Yeah

But like Like every people It's heck's even said this to me yesterday He's like why are you anxious Like Like Saying like You know you're funny

You're decent looking Whatever he's like Why are you anxious And I'm just like I don't know. But it's just like, I don't know. I'm at the point in my life where I'm like, just trying to figure it out, really.

And like trying to push through moments where I like don't want to do something. But I'm like, but it would be good if I did it. Right. Yeah, yeah. Like even like socializing, like going out on hanging out with people on the weekend. It's like, God, but I really want to just like lay on my calendar. and do fucking nothing, which is like what I'm so used to doing. But sometimes like opportunities, I guess, present themselves to like be social and like... Yeah.

Do things, just like do things I don't want to do. And I like, I feel like I know if it's like, if it'll be good for me, I like try to force myself to like go be social. But like, I don't think people, every time people are like, man, what are you do when you aren't streaming? like what are you doing the rest of day and I'm like you don't want to know like and it's like embarrassing to even does it like as soon as they ask that

do you get a little anxious I don't want to fucking tell you it's more like well they don't really know sometimes I'll say I'll just be like I'll just lay there look at TikToks for eight hours

but I don't know I wouldn't say anxious for that it's just like more like I feel like embarrassing would be too strong of a word but it's like I am

I feel like I don't live a normal I'm not like every other person that will like you know kind of like wander over here talk to these people want to over here talk to just go to this person's apartment hang out and I was like even forcing myself to like go to pages

because to like because I feel like pages like pages definitely just super easy to talk to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like something about her apartment's very homey. Homie as fuck. Because she's got like plants and shit. Yeah, she has plants, pictures of family, windows, sun, balcony, comfy couch. I don't know if any other person in Optic has been to another person's apartment except for pages. You've never been to mine, have you? I've never been to you. I've never been to

yours. I've never been to yours. Never been to Rogers. Never been to Illies. Never been to. I would love to see Formal's fucking apartment. I'd be terrified. Formal's been to mine. Dashie's been to mine. Oh, okay, okay. But that was like, I think Dashie came over like once, maybe twice. Formal's come over a few times, but I mean, it's been like a year.

And I would say he's been over three, four times. Really? It's like... Dude, I think it's funny. I think it's funny that you got, that you like kind of got anxious from the... Or doing the optic podcast. So I feel like that one is like, I don't know. I like forget.

It's like I forget I'm on the podcast until like the night before. That's like my favorite shit is when I just like even coming to do this, I told that I like told myself. I'm like I'm just like not going to fucking care. Like I'm just what people love about you. I'm like I'm just going to lay how I want. I got it is it was fucking cold in here earlier. This is what. Hitch has a blankie.

I have a. blankie. It's a Call of Duty Vanguard blanket and it's not big enough. And I have two hoodies but it was cold. It was cold as fuck. You like wrapped up in Pine Park hoodies. It was cold as fucking. If people probably think I'm high.

Well, for one, I would never be able to do a podcast high. I could try. Dude, Hex does that podcast? Hex does that podcast for Pine Park where they smoke and talk? I'm waiting on someone to get weird and

and they like can't like hex has a guess it like just bombed because like the person starts like freaking out or they're too high and then like he tells us about how he couldn't upload it yeah that would probably be my episode yeah i feel like that would be mine would either go fucking amazing or which would be like 10% chance right but the other 90% chance it would probably bomb and it would get really weird and awkward yeah yeah because when I smoke, it's like, I'll just, it's hard enough not smoking. But when I smoke, I'll like, just blank out and be like, what are we talking? What are we talking about?

Like, I just said a sentence, but I don't remember what the sentence subject was. And I just like, get lost. Sometimes, like, I'll be mid sentence. Yeah. And, like, forgot the whole sentence. And then I'll try to think of the sentence. Or, like, even the subject of like. Dude, it's like I hit a reset.

Yeah. bro I've since yeah since well in 2020 it was really bad my memory I feel like I don't know if it was the Addy or Zanz have fried my brain or fried my memory but my memory is so bad yeah I cannot remember names it's like fucking bad bad

like I know damage was done to one of these lobes wherever the memory is like damage was done yeah I feel like that too But I feel like, I feel like my memory is really bad too. But I don't know what. Are you good with names?

I'm not horrible with names. Like, I'm fucking psychotically bad with names. Really? Like, there's people I have met a hundred times. And then I'll see them and just be like, hey, what's up, bro? Dude, has your mind ever, like, just, like, canceled someone out? It's like you, like, they're like, uh, we don't need to remember them. Dude.

Like, remember a face? Like, you meet them. Like, you just completely forgot the entire person. Usually I don't know if I've met someone before. Like, I'm like... Right. Here's my scenario. And I'm not going to say their name because I don't want them to be upset.

But at Raleigh, at the Halo tournament, I saw... Is it someone... I saw a person that, like, we had talked to multiple times. Like, at Halo events and at the scuff house and stuff. Like, to the point where, like, I feel like I knew them pretty well. And I hadn't seen them since the scuff house. And I saw them there. And I was like, oh, my God.

My brain, like, completely. Like, it's someone I know. Yeah. Like, I saw their face and I was like, and then my brain like was like, went back and was like, oh my God, you've talked to them multiple, like, multiple times for like hours at a time. And like you, I would have considered myself an acquaintance with that person back then. And my brain just like once once it moved on, once we went to Dallas and once we went or like we were no longer involved in that like community. It's like I just my brain just put completely.

Wait, did they like come up to you? Yes. And they were like, Davis. Like it was a normal like like, oh my God, it's been so long since I see you. And you're saying that I'm having. Do I know this existential crisis? Dude, it's. Because it's not like I met someone once and then two years later I met them again.

that I'm trying to be like, can you remind me? Like, no, like, I, I saw this person. Yeah, you got to tell me later. They were already talking to me like I was, like we were like how we were. And I was trying to remember that it was all a memory thing. Wait, because Matt is editing this. And I don't want to be like, yo, Matt, you got to edit something out. Can you type who it is right here?

I can type who it is. I'm actually like interested. Oh. That makes sense? Yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah And I felt really bad I genuinely felt bad Yeah A situation like that Happened with me This guy Old Man Mikowski's like

He was like a Halo M or something I don't know He might have got pro in like 05 But I saw him He's just been in the halo scene And now he like

I think he works for like G1 or something But I saw him at Raleigh I was eating breakfast and he like sat down at the table next to me and it was just like oh what's up man and I was like hey what's up I thought it was like a fan or something and then he was like yo it's mccowski like he could tell I just like kind of I had no idea who he was he was like yo it's mccasie I'm like what the fuck I'm like oh my god that is you I was like I didn't even like recognize like

I've been at this person I've met him multiple times I've talked to him multiple times I've talked to him multiple times. I've gone to his house to discuss merch. What? And you were just like, yeah, I've gone to his house to like discuss merch because he was like,

I don't know, working with a merch company or something at the time. But like, yeah, so I've like, yeah, it was like weird. I did.

He just did not register in my brain at all. Did he have a mask on? The mask thing, the mask thing makes it 10 times worse. Yeah, the mask. thing is bad. Butters came up to us at a...

Noisy? Noisy Butters came up to us at the major. And I was like, hi. And I was like, hey. Like, you know? Yeah. How are you doing? Yeah.

And then she goes... Do you know her? I was like, holy shit! Do you know her like that? She like, she comes into stream and we've like colluded with her a couple times. And it was the first time we'd met her. Yeah, I met her too, actually. Except I don't think we've never spoke or anything.

She like came up to me to introduce herself. Yeah. She was like, just like, so like Nice and sweet. It's like not it's not a Some people might think it's like a like a personality. It like made Like made my night.

I didn't make my night But it was just like a fun like it was a fun meet It was like a fun new meeting person. Yeah, because you meet some people in the scene They're just like hey like I hate when people are like Like I was in Target The other week or something.

thing. I think I was with Page, but I think I went to go by these workout shorts and this target employee was just like, no way. And like, I look and he's like kind of looking at me. I was just like, what's up, man? And it's just like, I know he's like, no shit, that's optic maniac. Yeah. But it's like, I feel like sometimes you just got to be like,

yo, maniac. Right, right. Then it's like, boom. Okay, he knows me. Yeah. Like love your vids or like something. Yeah. But sometimes people,

People don't give you nothing. Dude. Like, people don't give you nothing to work with. So it's like, like you have to start, you have to say something. Like you can't just be like, yo, maniac.

And then I start fucking asking questions and shit. Dude, for a name is just common as yours. It's got to be, because like, Nick just rolls off the tongue. Like, I bet you there are,

do there are a lot of people come to you and you're like, Nick? Or do they always say maniac? I've definitely heard it before, but I feel like mostly it's maniac. Dude, it always throws me off

when people say, Davis and that happens at events a lot. Really? Yes. Because when I hear Davis... No one calls you Davis. When I hear Davis at an event, I'm like, I know, I have to know this person. And then it always throws me off and they're like, Davis. And I'm like, hey, what's up? And then they're like, can you sign this? I'm like, oh my, like, you just threw me for a loop. Do you think that's your... I don't think people call me Nick that. Sometimes they do. I call you Nick. But I feel like no. But I feel like no.

No one should call you Davis. Yeah. Like that's nobody really very few. Like I've had people call me Kershner, Nick. Kershner. Maniac. Yeah, I think like the only person who calls me Davis is, uh, is Seth. It's like the only one.

I can hear that in his voice. Dude. Davis. Davis. Yeah, I can hear that. Uh, yeah, uh, methods. Methods calls me Davis too. Yeah, but like

And Tommy Davis Tommy Zuma Zuma calls me David But like other than that There's like a select few But like And there's

And if those people called me Hitch It would be weird It's so weird Like if Blake and George Ever called me Davis It'd be weird Because they've been called me Hitch Since 2007

Like way before Any of this shit Why would Why were they calling you Hitch back then Well Blake Blake is like obsessed with nicknames He, like, loves nicknames. Oh, really?

Now, like, he called me Hitch in high school, and then it got to a point, like, three years ago where he was like, I don't want to call you Hitch anymore because everyone calls you Hitch. I'm going to start calling you Bob because my first name is Robert. And I was like, no, don't do that. I hate that. And from that day forward, he's just called me Bob.

Yeah, some of my hometown friends would, uh, well, I guess they kind of, like, I met some of my, which turned into my really good friends and, like, probably my senior year of high school. They went to like a different high school, but like one of my buddies knew them. Or no, I went to a college Halo tournament, lost first round out of the tournament, the stupidest settings ever. It was so fucking dumb and there was no losers bracket and I thought there was. So I was like, okay, that was the dumbest fucking map ever.

But anyways, I met a guy there. Then like I met all of his friends. And then I just started hanging out with them every single night. But like to this day, they just still call me. maniac but I don't think that's this what's a college what's a college halo tournament just like a get together or is that like I don't know how I found out about it

but how the fuck did I find out about it it was it was like a college I don't know a college Halo tournament that it was Halo 3 um so yeah I think I just thought I was going to go there and like get a hundred bucks or something for like winning yeah but it's smack

first room. It was the fucking like, I think it was, we were playing Snowbound and there were like shields in between doors and it was just the stupidest fucking thing. But I'm surprised there there was even a, wait that there was even a tournament. Did you ever

go to like local cod tournaments? I went to one. Really? It was a tournament in Greensboro in North Carolina and they they hired Golden Boy to come what? And it's like a a big tourney and they dude they marketed that like everyone was going to be there like at the time

like the nb team was popping and they were like stainville foreplay like rambo all these people are going to be there because they were all living in north carolina yeah this this is blackups two so it's just like peak call of duty I'm like holy shit I'm definitely going to that I live in raleigh it's an hour drive so I drive over there I think I was the only person that bought a spectator pass. I bought a spectator pass for a local. And then they still have the audacity

to rope me off. Wait, what was that mean? Like, I had to sit. I had to sit. There was no main screen. It was just people playing. And I had to, I could only see one team

because I could only see, and there was four stations. What was everyone else doing? Like there were other spectators, though? No. Well, the other spectators were just, like, girlfriends and, like, homies. So no one else went there to watch besides you? Me and my ex drove down there, and I was like, I really, I've never seen a Cold Duty tournament.

I want to see it. And I went down there and saw it. Were there any pros? Stainville was there. I actually think, like, Johnny Tsunami won that event or, like, Nelson. I think Nelson won it. But somebody, like, local green, like, North Carolina won it. But, like, Stainville was there.

And, and I remember, I think I remember that was like the only pro that I saw that I was like, holy shit. Stainville. Like, year is this? 2012. 2013. The first time I had ever seen. And I was like, dude. And I remember leaving.

And my ex could tell that I was like super disappointed because I was like, I've been like obsessed with call of duty for like four years. And that was my first experience at a call the duty event. And I was like, damn, that was fucking horrible. Like, that was dog shit. That was really bad. But I talked to Golden Boy, like, years later about it. And he was like, dude, that was the most, like, thrown together, like, event. That's funny.

Bro, my first ever, like, local tournament was in, like, 2005, I think. That's fucking insane, man. The Xbox original? 2000. It had to be 2005, right? Is that on the Xbox original? Yeah. No, no.

It was 360. Halo 2. So 360. Yeah, I don't even remember. Yeah. How did they play on there? How did they play Lans on the OG Xbox? I guess it could just land the same way.

I never had like land parties. Wait, there was regular Xbox. That had Halo 2, right? A regular Xbox? I can't remember. I wasn't allowed to play Halo. It was rated M for mature. Wait, what was the question?

Uh, You said you, your first event was, or the first land you went to was Halo 2. And you played at that. Yeah. Yeah, that's where I, I think I lost the Demon D. Oh, I went with this, this little shit, but he was so good. I wonder, do you remember? It wasn't the original Xbox.

Halo 2, OG Xbox. Damn, you were landing on the big, the beefy controller. It was fucking I don't even know if people heard of Like claw back I don't know if you can claw that The big ass You can't call that What's the ogre's claw

What made the ogre so good at that game That halo one halo two I mean I'm gonna be honest I think it's just because they Well obviously The fact that they could still keep up Like year after year after year

But like they just got so like they must have been one of the, one of like, or two of like 50 people in the world, like addicted to Hela. Like, multiplayer-wise. Like, I feel like they probably created the,

like, split screen land, like, practice, like, pistols only or, like, BRs only, shit like that. They probably created that. Yeah, like, they, I'm sure they, I don't know. I don't,

like, I always, I always want to, like, not give them their flowers. Yeah. I'd be like, no, they just played early. And it's like Bill Russell winning 11 championships in 1967, which is like what I compare it to,

but Oger 2 was still winning until like 2011 or something, maybe even after that. So I mean, obviously he had it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. They were just so ahead of their time. And like, because I remember thinking like for early call of duty before scuff controllers came out,

all the best, best people clawed. It was like Seth, Cap. It's so, like all the top people clawed. I was like,

that has to be what it is. Uh, have you, did you try it? Yes. You don't call, right? No.

So you tried it and you're just, I can't. It just hurts. Do you shoot with, you shoot with your shooting like this? Pointer finger, right? Yeah, yeah.

Index finger? Yeah. Yeah. I can't shoot with my middle finger, like throws off. Yeah. I don't know. Some people,

like, I can claw and hit the buttons, but my aim is just worse when I'm shooting with my middle finger. So I like half claw, which means I, I claw on the wrong half. I claw, but I only,

I claw, but I always shoot with this finger, with my pointer finger. So like, I'll just claw real quick and then switch back. So, like, if I'm, like,

if I, like, have to hit B to, like, pick up a flag or, like, why to switch weapons. I like claw real quick so I can claw and move the joystick Yeah

Like say I'm switching weapons But like have to You know keep my aim up with the person Like I'll hit Y but like keep my aim up And switch back Which is fucking weird Yeah but that's not And Halo 5 it drove me nuts

Because I like tried to claw Like I clawed for like a month And it was like the most stressful month Ever That's like that You can because that's not the good part of clawing Is picking up weapons shit The good part

It was like the whole reason to claw is so you can jump and aim at the same time. Yeah. Which is why like when scuffs. Then bumper jumper and shit started coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like clawing was definitely, I mean, it's definitely an advantage because you can, like, if you have to switch weapons, even in like call duty, if you have to pick up a weapon, you can pick up a weapon and be turning at the same time. Right. Yeah.

It's definitely an advantage, but I just could never fucking do it. it was way too difficult something about it something about just shooting with my middle finger my aim was shit I remember trying it at a T-O-N actually and the land network

like DLN yeah I've never heard of it you've had to heard where all the Halo teams would go in practice in Chicago hex has like pictures of like signed T-O-N

all the teams instinct final boss oh that's from that? Yeah. Oh no. I went to one of those one time. And I was warming up in the FFA clawing and I was shitting.

And I was like, okay, I'm fucking switching. And then with like a narrowest flag starts up. And I go like three and 17. And I was like, yeah, I think that's it. No more fucking clawing for me. Holy shit. Dude, did you see the stats on Bruce's KD since being an optic? No.

He hasn't dropped below like a one point He had like one event where he dropped a 1.03 And besides that I thought they weren't even doing that good for like a year though They weren't But that she was But he's just He just fries And I remember thinking like how are you that

Are you that consistent? He's a And he doesn't call Nah But he's at his fucking I don't get it I don't get how he how his screen looks it's so smooth

and he Y Y Y's non-fucking stop but so it's like how are you Y-Wing and your aim still on everyone constantly like I just don't get it I was like talking to uh I was talking to Seth and Seth I think we were having some drinks and he was getting a little like loose

you're just like no dude sometimes Like when we're at practice And they'll link a clip of Bruce And they're looking at the mini-map Looking at rotations And then Bruce will snap on somebody And even I'm like

What the fuck? Like his Just the way his like Even when we did that Movie Theater Warzone shit Dude His aim is fucking perfect on that too He's on a 50 inch

Or no not a 50 inch A 50. How big are movies? Look at that. Look at that. 1.4, 1.3, 1.3, 1.05. First, second, third. Dude.

First, second. Like, as far as KD and the lead. Oh, is that their placings? No, that's his KD in the tournament. First, second, third. Damn. Fifth, first, third. First, fifth, ninth, second.

So he is first half of the event. And then he's second third. Like, what? That is crazy. That is, that is. That is crazy. That's fucking. I'm not going to lie when I first got out the joint

and started coming to the H.H.U. again? I remember watching. I don't know if... Yeah. I think I was watching Dashie. And I was just like, I don't know if he's, like, the best teammate for them.

Like, a lot of times he would just, like, go silent. And I feel like he would always die at, like, the wrong times. And I was like, maybe he's not that good. Yeah. And... Well, when he first comes into the scene... But I also just didn't even know fucking God. Then I started hearing...

I remember Seth calling him, like, their best player. I was like, really? I needed to, like, pay attention more because I thought he would be... This was, like, early last year, like... New York, March. Probably like March, April, May, June-ish. I don't know.

I think they were getting shit on at the time. Yeah. But for some reason in my head, I just thought he was the problem. Yeah. Yeah. But then later on, like, a few months... later, I was like, no, formal's the problem.

Like, yeah, I was like, formal's the fucking problem. It's so fucked. Why, though? Why was formal the problem? I think Matt just, I think he just stopped carrying, dude. I really do. I would always see him, like, die. Like, they would get first blood into S&D, and I'd always see Matt, like, do some, like, weird play

instead of, like, just chowling instead of living. Yeah. That was Bruce's thing. And him just always, like, showing up late, and he just didn't care. Yeah. And it's, I guess, I don't know. I guess we all sort of get to that point. The team now?

It's great, because, like, then he goes to, then he goes to Halo, and now he's, like, he's super cares. I'm not going to lie. Like, I didn't doubt it's Halo Sky. I knew it would be fucking good. But I just know Halo Infinite's just different. It's fucking weird. I think he surprised. I think he surprised a lot of people.

Yeah. He surprised me with how. I knew he'd be good as fuck, like top three, like placing top three. Like, I knew he could place top three, but I didn't know he would be like elite. Yeah. Like, I didn't think he would join Optic. I knew when he, if he joined Optic, they would be better or I thought they'd be better. But I didn't know like that change would bring them to like elite level.

Yeah. I mean, they were already top two. Yeah. But it was like a sketchy top two. It was like a there's five, six teams that could easily be in that second spot. And it's like every series was kind of like sketch. Yeah. But now it's like almost solidified that like, you know, there's optic.

Well, I guess we got to wait. We have to wait. Yeah. Don't say anything. Don't fucking. Yeah, no. Kansas City. You going?

Next Hela tournament? I think I have to go. I got it. I got it. I would. I would be upset if I didn't go and Matt won. I'd be upset. I know he doesn't give a fuck if I'm not.

No, he wouldn't care. But I care. I care because I've watched him compete for so long. Now it makes me seem like I gotta go. I mean, Seth's not going. Yeah, but Seth's not. Like, Halo's like... Yeah, Halo's your thing.

Even though Halo pisses me off and I can't fucking stand playing it anymore, I'm still like... involved in the community. Yeah. Fucking, I love our Halo team. Yeah. Our Halo team is so dope.

Maybe I do gotta go. I wonder how lunch is doing. I wonder how he is. Like after seeing like how Ray treats the guys, I wonder how different it is. Lunch is pretty, what, how different?

Like, coaching. Like, because Ray's like Stern and Hill. Yeah. Just, well, the way that Ray,

the Ray, like, the way Ray studies like every map and like, rotations and where they're messing up and all this Ray study it like that yeah I mean he he's pretty adamant about it because I would believe Troy does in general well Troy yeah

like I can see them fucking studying the map Ray I feel like Troy does a lot in S&D but I was I was talking about respawn respond like Ray I don't see lunch doing I don't know I don't know maybe maybe is doing more as far as like

theater and like seeing uh we were here at this point where where did they spawn when we were like because these situations happen all the time so it's like where are they probably going to be spawning in these situations yeah uh i don't know if he is are any halo coaches like that or is it still like uh i don't for halo it was like we didn't respect the opinion of our coach that's yeah that's what i feel that's how call the duty always was until last year literally until like the last couple years. Yeah, that might be what Halo's becoming. Like, respect, like, before it was just like,

call out, like, call out when needed, like, obvious shit. But besides that, it was like power weapons and, like, maybe, I don't know, little reminders on things or, like, tell someone to stay alive when, like, you might not know your teammates there to help or something. And it's like sometimes you tell them to stay alive. But yeah, the Halo community definitely. Definitely didn't like really give a fuck who was coaching.

Sometimes there were good coaches that you would enjoy their like vibe. Right. When they'd be like, nice. Or like, I don't, some people just have a good, uh, I guess like vibe about them to where it's like you hear this. You know they're watching your screen and they're like, nice. And it's like just makes you play good. Like I had this coach Mazik or there's there's kind of players like that too. but I had this coach Mazek who was just like a big like jolly go lucky like kind of always like happy guy

and he just we shit talked him so much but he just fucking like loved us for some reason and even till this to this day it's like still kind of like that but it's like him being my coach I felt like I always played pretty good same with like in the clutch like West being my teammate yeah I feel like when he would watch my screen I would be like confident. You like try to play better? Yeah, I would like try to play better for some reason. But like...

Coaches C-9. Is anyone coached that? Who does coach C-9? I don't know. I don't really know the HALO coaches. One of the HALO coaches came up to me at the event and like said some joke to me. Uh,

I think it was like, it was during COVID. So I had to do some like extra paperworker. I don't know. Some shit to get in. He said some joke to me and I was just like, I have never met you. I have no fucking clue who you are.

Are you a fan? Like, are you a player? Are you like, who the fuck? He was, like, talking to me like we knew each other and we're like boys. And I was just like, all right, man. And then I find out later, I think he, I don't know. He was some, like, top 12 team coach. But, yeah, I don't know who the fuck the coaches are anymore.

Do you not? Is it skeptical? Dude. No, it's skeptical. I don't know. In talking to Shotsie, like now getting a no Shotsie more, he's like, not only is he like disgusting, but he's just like a really, really good teammate.

Like if you have a good in game, I think it's, yeah. If you have a good like in game leader, which is what like Ily is now or I'm assuming that's what, ruin the shot. No, you make the shot better. What's the fuck, what's his name, the guy on C9? Renegade?

No, not Renegade. Eco? Eco. Eco's like a good IGL, right? From what I've heard? I mean, he organizes a team pretty well? He says like, he's like, you ever play backyard football? He's like Pablo.

Just like the most well-rounded, like, player. Yeah, I remember people giving him his props in Halo 5 for like being good like IGL and stuff. Yeah. But like if you just set, if you set a solid three, on your team and you have that stable core and then you just let Shotsie do whatever he wants like y'all are gonna fry

and that's what I was like that's kind of what I mean that's kind of what Empire did whenever they won champs that's kind of what Splice did whenever they won worlds they just kind of like they get on the map

and then you kind of let Shatsy Shotsie do his thing bro Shatsis I like how they're sitting right now it's like dashy, illy Shotsy Seth because like Seth I feel like I could just be I put myself in

set shoes to wear like I'm older you know people are throwing the wall shit at you so it's like you don't want those games of you doing bad you don't want your teammate beside you looking over and you're like you know losing gunfights or something but I feel like Shotsie he's like such a like a good vibe and like he

he might be judging I don't know, but it's like he won't judge you and he just like, he's like happy to be there. He like he like wants to see Seth succeed. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's like really good. Like I think I used to see formal and, we're formal and cess sit beside each other?

I don't know. But I was like, I wonder if that like put, I put my, I just put myself in set shoes and I'm like, yeah, that probably like put pressure on me. To sit by formal? Yeah. Because like formal shots just, like always perfect.

Yeah. And it's just like, I don't know. But I feel like having someone like Shotsie, it's just like perfect to be beside Seth because like you got like the two demons and the two like young duo. Well, even fucking Dashy's young.

That's what I'm saying like all three of them. Yeah. But I feel like Shotsie being like right beside Seth is like really good. Yeah. Like even I remember a team with Snipe down and we were like, who do we want to sit beside?

Blah, blah, blah. And snipe down one to be on the middle. I always wanted to be far right. And I hated having snipe down sitting beside me because he would play leaning forward and I would play sort of leaning back. So I would always see, like, he would die and then just just fucking stare at my screen.

And it would like throw off my focus because I'm like, he's looking at my screen. He's like, I'm a screen. And it's like, I miss a shot or it's just I overthink. I don't know how I would like, it was weird. That's a weird dynamic. when I play on stream, I get like, not, I always, I always played better off stream, like, with no one watching. But like, I don't know, something about maybe just, like, being a

generally anxious person. It's just like people watching me makes me play worse or just, like, overthink or it's like, I don't lock in. But something about tournaments and, like, or like money being on the line to where it's like, I tell myself, all right, no complaining. Like, I just focus on myself and I like don't care. Like I would get into like a weird locked in super focus

like amazing gameplay sometimes. I had some amazing gameplay at times. Like I feel like I was like one of the most at tournaments on land. I feel like I was one of the most like underrated players. Maybe not though. Sometimes I was average but like I would play so good

sometimes. But it would never get recognized because it was like a lot of times it wasn't on the main station to be on like the featured station.

Yeah. But you're just like shitting on AMs? No. I'd be like, it'd be like us versus like CLG on the side station. Right.

And I'm doing crazy shit. Like crazy snipes. I always swear I was the most underrated sniper in Halo history. At least like at tournaments. I,

think I was. Like I think I was. The most underrated snipe. Yeah. Can't really convince me otherwise. I wonder how many Halo people would listen, hear this. I'm like, shut the fuck. Oh, no, you weren't.

But I swear at tournaments. You sound like cronos right now. Yeah. I swear at tournaments, like, I don't know. I would just like, it was like, it was like, I would just lock in and was snipe. I felt like I would always out snipe their sniper. Yeah. Like, and I like took pride in it.

But it's, it's not. Not where we're at right now. Do we, we just started this, like, new series. We're going to make, like, a YouTube video where we play, like, 100 hours of a certain game. Apex right now? Yeah. So we start as trash as possible. I mean, we don't play it.

That's sort of fun. At least you're trash with your friends. Yeah. They try to go 100 hours of being, like, see how good we can get. Uh-huh. And I decided for the first time, like, I'm going to commit to mouse and keyboard on a game. So I'm playing Apex Mouse and Keyboard. Really?

Dude, sometimes it gets so bad. And I'm the main P-OV. Like if somebody rushes you close range and you have a gun that spits out bullets and you try to aim down sight, you're just, I'm just shooting circles. Especially on mouse and key as well. Yeah. And then I'll watch Blake and George play

like close range and I'm like, damn, like, why I actually kind of did it? Why'd you choose to do mouse and key? I don't know. I just, I've always liked the idea. And we're eventually going to do Valerant like 100 hours of valerant and i've been and like i got like a new like

all the new like razor stuff came in and i and i started like clicking the keyboard and stuff and i was like yeah this kind of sounds fun so i think i'm gonna try it on mouse and keyboard clicking the mechanical keyboard yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like smooth and stuff like let's see what let's see what all the hype's about about like mouse and keys and see if i can see if i have what it takes at 29 to switch i just

uh i've thought about playing valerant i just don't like S&D. I hate having one life. Yeah. Like. Unfortunately, games with one life are so much more fun to watch. Yeah. Like, that's all the games.

Valerite, Fortnite. Fuck it. I guess in Fortnite, you can get revived. But, yeah. Like, they're all. Yeah. Even if you play Call of Duty, if you play ranked, it's just like a viewership.

Like, I don't know, maybe, maybe that's just for us and how we do our turn, or our, uh, our stream. But as soon as you start playing ranked, you start playing like these respawn modes, it's like the viewership, or not the viewership, but the, the, the, the, the, how often the chat talks, like the, the, how active the chat is just drops. And I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if it's because they're, so depressing sometimes. I don't know if it's because they're watching or it's because they know that you're not going to respond. Sometimes I'll have like, like, like, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, account i try not or i really don't look at my viewer account because i'm like it shouldn't like have to do with anything yeah of like what i'm gonna be like interactive and funny now because more people are in here but i'll look at my wait what were you talking about i'll look at my viewer

count for like how many how many how active chat and sometimes i'll look and i'll have like 450 500 viewers chats booming and i'm like fuck or like the chat will be booming so i'll check be like am i like 800 right now or something i'll be at like 450 or something but then sometimes the chat it's dead and i'll check and it's like still at like 400 yeah what what's going on here yeah like i hate when no when no one's typing in the chat like at least talk to each other or something right right or if you see well even sometimes if you're like mods are just like talking to each other where it's like mod and it's the same mod and stuff talking to you it's like chat's dead man Chat's dead, streams dead, I'm washed.

Like, I'm not gonna be able to make any fucking money from it. What am I gonna do? What's my next step in life? But meanwhile, I'm just on Halo Infinite. Like, all that's going through my head, but I'm just like. But you're just playing a run. One shot, one shot. Yeah, that is, uh, I kind of got lucky because I never really had,

I never really had like the low viewership, like grind, like the, you know, of the 10. When was your first stream? Scuff House. My first stream at 500 viewers. Really? Yeah. Like my first stream without a webcam.

Really? No, I think I stream like three times before that, like in my apartment and stuff, but I never tried. I haven't been through this drug. I really haven't. But when I first joined, uh, optic and I moved into the 60-50 house, Nate was still there. Yeah.

Seth wasn't there. but like Nate was still there then it was still like the optic house or whatever and I remember streaming and I would have like 15 viewers but then I wasn't even thinking about it like that like I was just streamed like you were just streaming yeah like I don't

have I don't remember having any like bad memories of like low view count but like I had low view count for sure up until like my August birthday video sort of like

projected me like upwards fucking with like viewers and stuff like once because all my YouTube videos would be like one to three thousand views maybe

and my Twitch chat would be like 15 to maybe like 10 to 25 viewers and I just never even really thought about it YouTube I was like man I ain't getting shit from this like

where is my fucking viewers. I thought I was supposed to be famous for you. Yeah, I thought I was rich and famous now. I joined off to it. But then I made like the, this one video. So all my videos were like one to 3k and then I made one video and it got like 35k in like two or three days or something. I was like, oh shit. Like from that point on it was like then my next video got like 20. And my other video got like 25. And then like I guess that's sort of when it started. Yeah. But yeah, for. For Twitch, even YouTube, I still had like the low viewer count. But at that time, I was just, for one, I was probably on Addy and didn't really care and just loved playing video games.

But now, I feel like it, I don't know, man, does it affect, it, it affects everyone. Yeah. But I think now I'm at a point where it's like, it's kind of like a job. So I guess like when you see your job not performing well or something, you like, just feel shitty about it. Yeah, that's way different than like You're just doing it because you love it. Yeah, you're just on the grind

You're like trying to make it It's way different than when you made it And now you have to sustain it Yeah That is way harder. I don't, I haven't One time my stream deck Did it update like it

And so I had my viewer count on the stream deck And the stream deck didn't update So now the viewer count doesn't show up And I never fixed it And that was like last year And to this day I still haven't Updated the Elgado stream back. You just don't want to see it. Yeah, because I just and I never ever have our view count on because that in same same time thing in blockups four late blackups four like and all pretty much the entirety of MW. We were like crushing like 2,500 viewers. We had like 18,000 subs just like crushing. And then Cold War comes out and we try we get lost for a year.

And then it goes back down to 800 viewers and like, like, you know, a thousand or like what, like 4,000 subs. And it's just, and it's so hard not to be like, okay, you know, Mayday, Mayday. Like, what do we do? It's crazy because it's like you get the taste of the 18,000 subs and the, and like, you think, like, I'm going to be, this is. This is like, I'm gonna be doing this for like years and I'm like, like, I am that guy. We like pass up at the time, Dr. Lupo and, and, and, uh, I think it was even, no, maybe it wasn't Tim. It was somebody like humongous in subs. And I'm like, sure you had more than like teeth.

Fuck. Yeah, we definitely had more than like T-Food and stuff. Yeah. And I was just like, holy shit, bro, like, fucking doing this. Yeah. But then you forget. that even at before that when you had five, six K subs, you were like

fuck yeah. But then you get the taste and then when you go back down to your fuck yes it's no longer a fuck yeah. Dude, when I went crazy and like in a in Vegas because I like I went to Vegas and that's when I like went to the hospital and stuff for drinking too much.

I remember like the whole reasoning behind like the reason that happened and why I said like tell myself the reason that happened in the first place is just because I got so like cocky because I was like holy shit we made it like TST we're making it and we're going to be rich and all this shit I had like I had like 2,700 subs on the on the and on the TST channel and that's that's the point that made me go like fuck yeah we did it and now I see I see us dip below 5,000 and I'm like, yeah, people hate us now.

They forgot. I hit 4,600, like, last summer, because, I mean, it was really just, like, the hype of, like, me getting out of rehab, everyone's fucking, yeah, just, like, loves the comeback story. And I was also playing Minecraft, and that show was kind of fucking fun and, like, kind of entertaining. But, like, I got 4,600 subs, maybe, like, 47, 48. but I'm like so used to anywhere from probably like 1500 to like 2,500-ish

as long as I'm like consistent. But like getting a taste of that and then dropping, I remember I dropped back down to like 3K and I'm like, as long as I'm above like 2,500, like this is pretty lit for me. Then you go to 2,500 and you're like, ah, I was just like hanging in there. And then it's like, ah, and I got to go to fucking this event or something this weekend. So it's like great. Now I got to take like three, four days off.

Then you come back. Then you're just at like 1,900. You're like, what the fuck? I drop fucking like 600 subs in like four days or something. And then like at that point you're like, oh no. It's just constant. Yeah. Like the hardest part is figuring out how to, dude, you got to figure out something to do with YouTube.

You got to start reacting to shit, bro. Um, I have an idea of what I want to do. I want to do something. Because our YouTube channel is now kind of popping. And that's why people are coming back to the Twitch. It's, it's crazy like how it's like hand in hand. But like, I'm going to be honest. And I don't want to talk about everything because I want like shit to talk about for other fly cast episodes that we do every week.

That we do every week. but I don't like I just I don't know I'm losing I'm losing interest and all of it this whole scene yeah it just in like gaming like I I have a great fine that you're looking for other shit to do yeah like what um I want something I really plan on doing and it's motivating me to diet is I really want to like get shredded and like start some kind of like like a 30 day like shit to fit type of like program that a lot of like you know lazy gamers just depressed down bad gamers could do um I really want to do that but I want to look the part and I'm like definitely getting there because like I'm like pretty strong right now

and I'm in pretty good shape I just got to like dye it down because I really want to I really want to look the part but yeah that's just like where my interests have been just lying lately

like I don't do anything gaming related besides streaming in the morning and then content maybe any content we do like within the gaming world besides that like i love events and i love halo

but it's just like i don't like i'm not i'm not interested in the newest game i'm not interested in playing elton ring or i get what you're saying i'm not interested in like just the gaming scene i don't know i just don't want to play i just don't really want to play games anymore um yeah like somehow figure out my own way to be a hex to where, well, that's not a good example because he's entirely in the gaming scene. Not really. But like he just doesn't game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like he figures shit out elsewhere. But just like, even like being on camera. And this is not like a near future thing. Like just hopefully within like the next year or two, I figure out something that I'm really passionate about and like really dive into that into that direction yeah um yeah what that will be i'm not entirely sure i feel like i'm getting more into fitness for sure um like i was saying i don't i don't really

play any games i don't watch youtube i don't watch twitch i feel like i'm so and like i used to that's all my life was was playing video games and watching other people play video games and like other people's videos. Like I remember watching like Sharp from TK. Like I'd watch his YouTube videos sometimes. But like nowadays, I don't know what it is. I mean, I am fucking 30. But I'm just not.

My heart's just not in it anymore. Just to play games. Yeah. And it's like, dude, you have the easiest job ever. It's like, yeah, I kind of do. But it's like it's not great when you aren't. happy passionate about it or like happy with it or like right yeah yeah like i'm not trying to get on halo infinite and like get better or like get clips right because i'm just like i'm fucking i don't

know i'm just like i've and i'm not i've gamed my almost my entire career on adderall yeah so it's like once you do that and then try to go back without it it's like i don't know your brain just fucking different and you're you've been good as far as like temptations and stuff like yeah i haven't oh i Every time I go out, there's Coke, Molly. Yeah. Acid. Fucking.

So crazy. Like a lot of people I'll meet or, you know, just be hanging out with. They'll have something. Adderall, every fucking time. Yeah. But no, I haven't, I haven't dabbled in anything. I haven't taken, I haven't taken any pill. That's really good.

It's really good. Since rehab. I haven't. I have drank. Yeah. And I've smoked weed. But I'm very. rehab definitely taught rehab and like being sober sober for a while definitely taught me of like

okay you're over doing it like you just got you just got drunk as fuck yeah like two days straight like and you want to drink again today because your hangover so bad but it's like no just you got to deal with the context is now and and you know what now you can't drink this upcoming weekend and you yeah focus the fuck up Yeah. It's like, it's, like, I've definitely, uh, gotten smart about just my addictive personality. Yeah. And that's, that's really fucking good.

That, it, I, I'm, I'm the same way. Like, I haven't had any pill since, like, the November before you got, before you went in. That was the last time I did. And I, I, I am such a better person That shit is fucking evil I can't stand this shit That shit is evil man

People don't fucking even like realize And I didn't really realize And even to this day like For people that don't need it Some people I think I need it I feel like I need it But like Your brains is not wired that way

I like abuse it Yeah yeah And I feel like so many people are abusing it and don't know they're abusing it. It is crazy. And it's like when, especially if you're still competing, it's like,

I kind of have to. Yeah. Like I would not quit Addy at, like if I was still competing, I ain't quitting Addy. Right. Like I'm still taking it because it's so different to. Well,

they're now like, they're now testing in like CDL tournaments. And like I wonder what would have happened if they tested at like early Halo tournaments. Shit. everyone would get caught. Well, it's just like, what are they going to test for? Because I had a prescription, and I think a lot of people get prescriptions, at least people that are, like, really abusing it and shit.

Yeah. So it's like, would they test? So it's like, are you telling me I can't take the prescription if my doctor is prescribed? Or are they test, or can you're like, can they test your infatamine levels to see if you're, like, you're abusing it? And if, like, I don't know, you're taking more than you should. because I don't know if they can stop people from I don't think they can There's no way

But I mean like a pharmaceutical thing Like you can't stop somebody from taking the medicine I think even in the NFL and like NBA You're not allowed to take it But the players are given Like updates on when the drug tests are going to be You're not allowed to take Adderall I don't in the NFL

No I think if you test positive for it, like you'll, I don't know, you'll get in trouble, fine or something. But I could be talking out of my ass, but I'm pretty sure.

Actually, no, I don't think I am talking out of my ass. Because I've watched, uh, like interviews of like, old, like drug addict NFL pros and shit.

Even ones that are, like, got tested positive got in trouble, got suspended, team dropped them, and then they had to, like, completely rebuild to get back in the NFL. I forget the dude's name, but, yeah,

they definitely drug test you, but I think they give you a go in three weeks where there's going to be a drug test, so don't fucking choke. Yeah. And so a lot of them would, like, buy shit, drink hell of, hell of water. And like, I don't know,

there's some shit you can buy and, like, drink. And it'll, like, I guess, sort of flush you out. Yeah, one time in a, uh, in college my my roommate came in and he was like yo you have any water I was like why

yeah and he just started pounding water like pounding water he was like I fucked up I got like drug test in two days for a job that I'm getting in this summer I just smoked I remember being like why did you like why did you smoke

but he's just like pounding water I don't know if that was doing anything but he's like, I should be all right, right? It's like, I've never smoked. I don't know. I don't know how to help you. I don't really know how that shit works either. I have no idea how to help you.

I know I was taking, I stopped taking Addy one week before rehab because I ran out. Yeah. And they test, they of course drug test you when you get in. And I only tested positive for Xanax. Like, there was no, they didn't, find like any adity message. That's because you took one right before you went in.

Well, yeah, maybe. That didn't help. But I was definitely taking Zanz and shit before I went in. And I took one right before I went in. But the adie I didn't take for, I think about like five, maybe five to seven days before and I didn't test positive. So I don't know how long it takes. Yeah, the difference between you and me is like if it, if it was offered, if somebody was

like, hey, I've got this. You want to pay me this for that? I'd be like, yes. but if I ran out I would never go get it I would never go search for it I would fucking search

yeah and you were always I was like the biggest telegram Instagram hitting up friends of friends hitting up dealers other dealers like

one of our mutual friends texting me during that time and was like hey Nick just hit me up and I just wanted to come to you to see

and I was like do not and that was before that was what I mean I can I'll type it out again you know who it I mean you know what it is I have a name in my head but yeah

but I just I remember like do not but that's when I knew you were hitting hidden up people yeah it's crazy I would meet the most random fucks you're just on the blue we're literally on the black market yeah I would meet the most random fucks just to get like

10 pills and pay like 12 to $15 per pill. Just like, just draining my fucking and I'm door dashing. Like just drained any money I fucking had. Yeah. Good times. It's funny how like the,

the idea of money, like for like high schoolers, especially me in high school, like I remember like seeing the optic guys win champs or caught XP at the time and mine were for three. It's like a million dollar tournament. So they get 100k each. And we were like, dude, they're set for life. I remember thinking that.

That's how I felt when I won, they're set. O-9 Nats, we got 25 grand each. But then after taxes, it's like 17, 18. Yeah. And like, I would be hanging out with my friends. Like, I'd buy us weed. Like, I'd cut us.

Yeah, like, I'd cover food. And I was like the young one of the group. And like, I don't know. I just thought I was like so cool to be able to do that. But God, damn, that money went quick. Yeah, like I remember in the scuff house a couple times I'd like read on Reddit or something. They're like, you know, like, you know, Nick's not doing, this is when everybody was on your ass. Nick's not doing anything.

Just making beats. Like, how does he even make a money? And then some people would be like, he still got Halo money. I didn't, I didn't make shit from Halo. I don't think so. Like 2009? For as long as I played Halo, I didn't make shit from Halo because when I was pro, there weren't salaries. Yeah.

fucking insane stupid salaries like there are now. Dude, like even like top 12 Halo teams are probably getting paid. I don't know. Probably somewhere like four to eight grand. Like salaries, I, when it comes to esports salaries, this might be controversial.

I think every, with the exception of the top 5% in each esport, they should be fucking grateful. Like they should be extremely grateful. And I'm not talking it's not even like skill wise or anything.

It's just like people like scump obviously like they bring they bring so many so much attention to the brand of whatever they're on. Even people like clay, crim like these big names but then you dwindle down

to like the people who are a pro and they're good as fuck but they don't bring anything to the brand yeah like no one watches them unless you're winning championships or you are like the

you know like a franchise player like that's what's bringing viewership into the organization like your value isn't as much you know isn't as much as a lot of what what these salaries are especially in other eastbound I mean Cod is one thing because it's a franchise

League. But I remember in like in gears of war like it was so it was so rough because like the scene was kind of down bad and we had the top team. And so we we were paying our top team a certain amount. And then this other team comes in with just like fuck you money. It's like how did how do and they start paying their players more than our players. And we have the best team. And we have the the team that brings in the most viewership. So then our guys are are like, yo, we heard through the grapevine

that these guys are getting this. And it's like, well, shit, we want to make you guys happy. But then that's how, like, the inflation happens.

Yeah. In all of esports. And now, like, you, I bet you crash, I bet you, Clash Royale

esports players are getting fucking 10K a month. Yeah. And it's like, what? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like,

I wonder if it's ever going to hit a point where, like, like I've always said like I wonder if the day of reckoning is ever going to come in e-sports where like all these big people with all the money

there's just like well shit that's not working and then they back out but then I think about how how like actual sports work and that day of reckoning never came either yeah like you got to think what the practice squad

gets paid on professional teams they probably get 50k a year to never play to never dress up you think so I think like a couple hundred grand a hundred grand

for the practice squad there's no way by practice squad you mean people who they even know they will never see there is a squad that practices with the team that doesn't dress up

that doesn't they don't I'm talking about those guys I don't know about those guys but even the I thought you meant just like people who aren't are like third four string and they're probably not going to play all season let's talk about the fourth string

defensive tackle for the Bengals yeah he's probably getting dumb money yeah and it's like holy shit like what value but I guess it does bring value

but like what they are needed yeah they are needed but like is it $400,000 a year needed or yeah but money But then there's also people who are probably getting $80 million deals, $250 million deals.

And it's like, is that really needed either? Right. Like, dude. Like, like, Namar's contract is like 600 mil a year or something. Is that a soccer player? Yeah. Is that a soccer? 600 mil a year.

There's no way. That has to be like a five year, seven year contract. Oh, no, not a year. Sorry. Yeah. The contract is. It's something in. Same.

Namar salary. It's something insane. Maybe, I mean, maybe I way over there. Yeah, I never got a taste of salary. Okay, it's 40 mil a year. So, just 40 mil. I made $200 from Noble Black to get them third at a Halo finals

with the biggest packs crowd watching us. They gave us two on, they gave us each $200. Besides that. Then you were living. Do they pay for your travel? I think, yeah. Okay.

I was like, because if not, you went in the hole. For sure, you were down $200. I was just like, well, no, that was my travel stipend. I remember MLG would give us travel stipends. I think, yeah, I think they would give pros three or $400 as a travel stipend. That would cover like the flight or something, but it was like, I was like losing money going to events. I'm getting top four. I remember when I was working for UMG,

there was this guy, he doesn't work there anymore, but he was throwing a UMG event, a UMG call duty event. And I remember him being like, yeah, well, you know, this is the last event that we pay for optics travel.

And he was like happy about it. He was like, you know, we don't need, you know, we don't need optic there. And like, this is the last time we pay for travel

for the teams. And I remember even back then, I'm like 22 years old. and I'm thinking... What was this? 2013? Yeah. It was in ghosts.

So the year after... Nate shot's still on the team. Like, we're getting 100,000 viewers and finals and shit. And I remember being like, you're not very smart, are you? Yeah.

Like, like... I think, I think this is the event. Like, this is the time we stop paying for optic. Yeah, I never... Like, who is going to... I never got blessed like that.

Like, there's probably, be fucking top 12 Halo players getting paid like I don't know it's got to be like I don't know I'm about a has monster because now he's on like complexity and I think they're like a top eight yeah team I'm thinking what's going on over there dude even I guess even the cost of just

of just travel just so you got to fly like hotels you got to think of our team fly the four guys out Troy Ray Paige Roger Matt Me if I want to go Yeah That's a lot of fucking people

That's crazy But I don't know I guess something happened In esports Where it's just like All this fucking This money Some of these investors

But it's like These investors are so rich That it's just They just don't They just don't They just don't It's just like They got it on the

like paying someone paying a team imagine getting in on the ground floor of the NFL yeah then eventually you get out and you're like holy shit yeah and like I'm sure they have the money to risk like this being the next like NFL or whatever yeah uh I guess it's a wild it's a wild scene I want to know I always hear people like talking about how e-sports makes no money or like orgs make no money yeah just like how does that actually work because orgs make money but it's at the end of the year are they profitable like did they make more money than they invested or then they spent but it's like are they is that for the investors though is it mostly like the investors are looking like oh but I didn't make my money back y'all got paid but I didn't make

my money yeah yeah or it's just like the overall value of the company is it more than they're they're putting it like if if if if phase were to or i guess phase is a bad example let's go with cloud nine if cloud nine were to sell tomorrow did the did the people who have ownership of cloud nine make more money off of selling the company than they did putting in putting money into the company that's kind of like where you want to get so it's not like you put a million dollars you you spend a million dollars this year did you get a million and a half back it's not necessarily like that it's like if I spent two million dollars over the past 10 years

is the company worth more than is it worth 2.5 million you know or would my cut of the company be worth 2.5 million it's kind of like that I think so I mean you definitely the saying you got to spend money to make money definitely makes sense

but people in my chat were telling me that today what was it for something that had nothing to do with spending money money to make money but then you said you got to spend money to make like I don't think

you do we spend money with TST we have two guys that we pay for and it's like that we can't really afford them but eventually and I have to I have to like constantly tell them like hey eventually though eventually

I got you whatever the shit works I promise you I got you but that's kind of how Hector was with me and Optic Intel I was getting How much was I? Well, I did Optic Intel for six months without getting paid. And then I got $500 a month.

And I remember $500 a month? I was like, I fucking made it. Yeah. How much were you making with your part-time job at Walgreens or, yeah, Walgreens? I think it was like, was it full-time? It was, well, in Walgreens, they, they won't. If you work 40, if you work 40 hours a week, they have to give you benefits. So you have, they put, they schedule you for 39 hours a week.

Okay. So it's not full-time. Yeah. But I hated it. Do you remember how much your check? What would you get paid like every two weeks? Yeah. Every two weeks, it would be like $450.

Something like that. So I remember thinking like if I made $900 a month, it was a good month. It was a really good month. Yeah. 900 or like 800, something like that. But my rent was $600. That's crazy. My rent was $600.

So then I'd make 900 and then put the 500 on top of that for what Hector was paying me. And then like, then you have to get groceries and shit. I'm set till next month. Hope I don't pop a flat tire or something. I remember this was like while I was pro, N had a job. I had to borrow like five bucks from my brother for gas just to make it to work. And my paychecks would be like sometimes I'd work a decent amount. sometimes not it'd probably be like i'm making like four to eight hundred a month but it's just like

god damn i mean i guess i was like 21ish but even now it's like motherfuckers are 21 and they aren't struggling no like they're like even like there's a lot i mean there's a lot of people out there even like these designers that fucking make apparel for companies like they are they're getting paid yeah it was not like that yeah like i don't know i don't figure this shit out with like four to $800 a month. That is so crazy. There's so many people like talking with Alexis like plus her heart, but she's never had she, she went to high school, then went to cosmetology or cosmetic school and then started

uploading and then immediately blew up on YouTube. So she's never had like a, she was going to get a job and she never had to get one. And so every once in a while she's like, I could do. I can do a regular job. I can't clocking and stuff. And I'm just like, no, you could.

Sometimes I, sometimes I say that as well. Like maybe I, I'm about to just get a fucking, you're about to go get a job. Dude, I've thought that. Not a job,

but like, like, say there's, say there's a position in optic that involves like, you know, waking up, I got to get to the, say the envy office at like 10.

And then I'm there to like, I don't know, four, but I'm like doing meetings and I'm like, yeah, you're explaining, you're, explaining my job.

Well, I'm just like... That's what I do every morning. No, but like even, but like even more to that or even more of that. Right, right. Just... Because I'm sure you still have it pretty like loose. Yeah. Like you're not there every day like doing...

I don't go there as much as I thought I was going to because a lot of the meetings. But I am in like four to five meetings a day or something like that. It's like I wasn't, I wasn't, I mean, I'm, I'm, excited and I'm happy that I'm involved but like holy shit it's a lot well I'm just like sometimes that thing like man would I rather do that but it's like nah

nah because I just I don't know like I was talking about earlier like my passion for like getting on and gaming but it's like what I it's not like I'm not to have any passion to fucking show up

and do like office shit or like I wonder what I wonder what you would want to do. Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. I'm at like a, I think I'm perfectly fine with saying I'm at a midlife crisis. But it's just like,

I know, all right, what I really want to do is get fucking shredded. Get fucking shredded. And come out with some kind of, some kind of something, like a video series, like a 30 day workout, something,

like a Patreon. where it's like buy this you get 30 videos of working out and like even some extra videos of me just like talking to the camera like dude that's my motivational good but it's like I'm so like self-conscious of like not looking the part imagine we like literally produce one like we actually yeah that's what roger was saying we get like actual and i want that to happen and i'm actually i i i want to like constantly remind myself, like, don't fucking order Chipotle with chips and eat fucking 1,600 calories. Like, it's nothing like, or if I'm laying bed at night and I'm like, all right, I've ate

enough, but I'm bored as fuck. And I really want to, like, go make a big ass, like, sandwich. That's, like, an extra, like, 400 calories. That's going to put me over a caloric deficit or at my caloric maintenance and I'm not going to lose weight. Yeah. So it's like now, right now I'm really trying to die it. So by like January, February, March, April, May.

By like the beginning of June, I'll be like nice and hopefully shredded. So it's like I try to tell myself like, all right, if just fucking don't eat this, you need to be shredded because we're going to do a video series. Like this is something you're actually interested in. Like you don't like I was saying earlier, I don't watch any gaming shit. I don't. but like what I do watch is I all I do is watch workout videos all I do is watch fitness vloggers and I don't want to be a fitness vlogger or anything but it's like there's definitely I want to do it because I know how unhealthy the gaming industry is and I know how depressed the gaming

industry is if you could figure out the thing is the I think the biggest thing because I don't think a lot of gamers and a lot of people in our industry are like does like their desire is to be healthy. I think a lot of the actual true stereotypes is the laziness of it. I think if you could figure out an easy way to have meal prep for gamers targeted audience, like a targeted audience and like a healthy lifestyle that isn't as like, isn't as like committed as going to the gym. Yeah. You know, every day and hitting it for an hour and a half. That's what I want to do with like my first series is like, all right we gotta start at the like you're a lot of a lot of people are depressed a lot of people are anxious a lot of people are too anxious to go out to a gym and like a social fucking they feel like

fucking idiots yeah it's like we got to start from the beginning like what's your mindset going into this like like are you happy no all right well we got to like we got to start with these steps and we'll like we'll start from the beginning and that's sort of like what i want my first series to be about and then you know hopefully hopefully hopefully it's like successful and then after that we start getting into like drinks or food and yeah but like i can definitely help people because i know what it's like to like just completely feel like shit be physically fucked well and like uh in like a you're just out of shape type way uh uh i don't know what it's like to be physically fuck but i know what it's like to really be out of shape feel like a piece of shit yeah and like

have that mindset to where it's like you i'm like i need to do it i need to do it i need to do it but i'm not going to do it and i'm not going to do it and i'm going to just fucking sit on my couch yeah and it's just like overcoming those like day-to-day battles of it's like i know i want to do it i want to do it i feel like shit i hate how i look but i'm not going to do anything about it and i feel like over the past year I've like really had to deal with that and I've like really learned yeah uh just how to sort of be consistent you could definitely help I mean you were whenever we went to the gym together you always helped you're a you're a really good gym partner like you're that's why I think you'd be good at this and but you're really good in your way like in a humorous way yeah I don't think you

could get up there and be like the like the come on one yeah two no you'd have to be you which would be so fun. Remember at one time we were doing these? Oh, my shit would be. We were doing these things. And you were like, you were like, I want you to do the next rep like you fucking hate your ex. And I was like what?

Or like bench press this. Like either you bench this or your mom dies. It's like, like shit like that. Bro, that and video. Like you're telling me if I have a gun to your mom's head, you can't do two more reps. That's so fucking dark, bro. you were like yeah you were like next time you do this

talk shit to your ex and I was like you fucking bitch I fucking I mean I feel like people gotta find there's just shit within a lot of people have some dark shit and like sometimes they just got to

find that and use that to fucking overcome their like yeah habitual sack of shit usual usual ways

yeah I mean hey it would work for somebody It would work for multiple people I'm like I'm looking at it like Not I'm fat again I don't know Like some people are like Why don't you just start it now Like you know I'm pretty

I'm pretty strong and like I can do hell of pushups And like I can make a home fucking workout video now But it's like I don't know I just kind of want to look the part And it's not because I want to look the part To like fit in with the fitness world

I mean I don't want them to be like Who the fuck? fucks this guy like yeah yeah who are you to be teaching people out of like it so i'd like want to look the part but i've really i i'm only thinking about it like i don't want to be a fitness YouTuber i'm thinking about it in like almost in like a gaming way like the game i know what the gaming audience looks like how pathetic how pathetic we can become what if you made it here what if you made it a game actually we should talk about this soft camera.

There's a way to make it to make it fun. And that's always the thing. I don't know. I don't know what you have in your head. We'll figure it out. Well, yeah, there's still a lot to...

There's something there. There's definitely something there and it's like actually something I want to do because like just, I don't know, being in gaming so long. Like I know how lonely and depressing and fucking, just sad.

that it is and I don't know so I'd like to dive in that really just to like help people and hopefully start some kind of you know new venture for myself and like really I don't know just something something I'm interested in now yeah and I've been interested in the past year and it took a lot to go to I've been working out pretty consistently for like a year and it's like it's I mean looking back at pictures it's like damn like from a day to day it's like God I'm still like this like how am I not fucking shredded but

it takes a long fucking time if you're not using steroids yeah but yeah that's sort of the future well I hope you guys enjoy the flycast we're gonna try I mean this is kind of weird

where they're going on the nation channel but like I guess this is where we live now yeah we're gonna try to put this on the nation and then use the optic brand to give us the... To further our name. To further our...

For our benefit. That's what we did here. Shit, we might be... You might see some sponsors and shit coming up. I don't know. But it's not about that. I think next episode we're having Post Malone on. Yeah.

The flight cast. Which would be fun. That would be fun. I just... Which is the album of today. It's Stoney. It's Stoney. Go listen to Stoney.

Fuck. I forgot about that. I forgot about the album of the week. We could bring that back. What's the last album? listen to. It was the last one was the infinite. Wasn't infinite? Yeah.

Probably. Infinite by Eminem. And I listened to the whole thing. That was your, your request. I mean, what have you listened to recently, though? Shit, nothing. I haven't been listening. I've been listening to, like, pop smoke in the shower and that's it. Who do I got? Shania Twain. Frank Ocean. I've been listening to like underground shit. You need to listen. Have you listened to blonde yet?

yeah okay I thought you said you had never listened to it yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah I'm mixing yeah I've been bumping this a lot lately actually

I'll be the boyfriend this song I love white Ferrari on the dude I cranked that I blast it

it's so good all right well we'll see you next time all right guys I hope you guys enjoy the flycast is back it is better than ever weekly

series every day, daily on Optic Nation. Yes, sir. Wait. Do we have outro music?