The Glenn Beck Program - Best of the Program | Guests: Steven Crowder & Bill O'Reilly | 5/3/19
Episode Date: May 3, 2019Best of the Program | 5/3 - The Purge Has Begun? -h1 - They're coming for all of us (w/ Steven Crowder) -h1 - News of the Week (w/ Bill O'Reilly) - The Worst Presidential Draft Ever -h3 Learn mo...re about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, welcome to Friday. What a great show for you. Lots of laughs and a little bit of spirited debate going on, especially the beginning of the podcast. We have Stephen Crowder on with us, and we're talking about how voices are being silenced in America. Then Bill O'Reilly comes in. He's on fire today. And in the last part of the podcast, we have decided to kind of play the reverse draft, if you will, the NFL draft, except we're looking at the last part of the podcast. We have decided to kind of play the reverse draft, if you will, the NFL draft, except we're looking.
The last person to be picked is the person that we think we'd most like to face, I guess, if it was a president.
It's a bad group of candidates.
We went and tried to pick the team of the worst possible crappy candidates in the Democratic field.
They're all so close.
Yes.
But we attempted to do that today as well.
Yeah.
So all on today's podcast.
You're listening to The Best of the Blenbeck program.
So, Stu, you want to start with Poyter?
You want to start with Facebook?
I think we got to start with Facebook
Okay, go ahead
Well, Facebook decided to do
another new round of purging yesterday
In which they
I'm sorry, what was that word again?
Purging?
I thought that was a good
Really scary movie
Purges in the Soviet Union
Kind of scary
Kind of scary usually ends up
With a bullet in your head
Now I know that's a joke on this show
Because everything ends up
With a bullet in your head
But we're starting to get to the point
To where you can almost
hear the guns being loaded.
Well, the bullet has been put in the head of several people's
businesses. I think you can say that.
And I think, and it's
certainly muffled
their voices in a really
significant way. And some of these
people are, I don't know, some of my least favorite people on the planet.
People like Alex Jones,
and also people like Lewis Farrakhan,
who were both banned.
Now, I don't know about you, Stu, but
you know, I'm 50-something years old.
I stopped counting.
and I've lived with Lewis Farrakhan saying crazy, hateful things my whole life.
And I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I don't like Lewis Farrakhan.
I think the man is a dangerous guy.
But I've never in my life thought, boy, you know, what he should do?
Shut him up.
Oh, one of the things I think that one of the best things that we can do is hear what he's saying.
I want to know what Lewis Farrakhan is telling.
people in his congregations.
I want to know because it's certainly helpful for us.
Does it help to silence Lewis Verkan so you don't know what he's saying to thousands of people?
Is it best to just be completely oblivious to that?
Or should we see what he's saying?
And more importantly, lately, who exactly in Washington is in his audience?
I will say, however, this move is last.
likely the, at least partially the fault of conservatives if you think it's a bad move.
And I, look, I have no love for Lewis Farrakhan at all.
But the approach here from conservatives largely has been when they go after someone who's
supposedly on the right.
And some of these people are and some of them aren't.
But you go after someone on the right.
And instead of saying like, wait a minute, this is wrong.
You shouldn't be banning anybody.
And then next time there's a controversy with someone on the left, we have said, look,
I don't want people on the left thrown off of these platforms either.
Many people on the right, or Republicans, conservatives, nationalists, whatever you think,
many people on that side of the aisle have said, well, why haven't you banned Lewis Farrakhan then?
And we've even said it before.
It's a very, I've said it, but I don't want anyone banned.
I'm saying, wait, if this one's so bad, this one is really bad, and you're not ban.
So what I think Facebook is doing here is, look, we're getting rid of these people.
Of course they are.
And they're saying, well, what's the typical talking point we hear every time we ban one of these guys?
Well, why don't you ban Lewis Farrakhan?
So they did.
I got news for you.
Does that feel good, though?
Is that a win for us?
I got news for you, Democrats, you better listen.
You average neighbor Democrat, the one who just is just going on their own business and you're just thinking, well, they don't really mean they want to get rid of the free market system.
No, they won't really do that.
And, you know, people like, well, Breitbart, they're dangerous.
Yeah.
I got news for you.
You are going to be had next.
Because if you don't think that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and all of those other Democrats
that you might go, well, they're a little crazy or a little old or whatever, but, you know, they're the ones really running the show.
No, they're not.
No, they're not.
You have opened up Pandora's box.
and now the people who are actually running the show.
I mean, look at Akosio Cortez.
She was nobody.
She was a nobody 18 months ago.
She now has the clout to be able to threaten the people in Congress on the Democratic side.
If you don't vote with us, we are going to send our troops into your district, and we're targeting you.
they are terrified of the left.
And I'm sorry, but it is those people.
It is those people that have the ear of Facebook.
It is media matters.
It is the Southern Poverty Law Center.
They are in collusion.
We have the documents.
Did you know that media matters?
And if you're on the left, I'm sorry, not on the left.
If you're a Democrat, you need to look into media matters.
You need to see who these people.
really are. They're not just some, well, that's just somebody who's just trying to keep things
fair. No, really? It's not what's happening. And these people are the ones who are inside now
saying who gets to speak and who doesn't. And I'm telling you, if you start, we are very close
for it being too late for the Democrats to stand up and say, wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute, you guys are a little too crazy here. You're in bed with care. You're in bed with
Islamists. No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that. It's, it's the hour is growing late for
Democrats and they will target you. You. This is the old poem. First they came for the trade unionist
and I said nothing because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the capitalist and I
I wasn't a capitalist, so I didn't say anything.
You better speak up now because this one is, first they came for Alex Jones, and I thought
he was horrible.
And so, you know, I didn't say anything.
I'm going to give you the next one.
Next, Pointer Institute, which I'll talk to you about in a second.
Next, they came for the Washington Examiner.
And I didn't say anything because I didn't even know what the Washington Examiner was.
The next one is, then they came for the regular examiner.
Democrat. And I wasn't a regular Democrat, so I didn't say anything. You're toast. You are toast.
These guys are truly the kind of people that lead us to Venezuela. Stop lying to yourself.
That's who these people are. And we should also look at ourselves here. Because we need a little
examination in the mirror of how we handle these things. Because when the left comes up with a crappy standard
like this. Hey, we're going to fire people for things that they say, even when they're dumb.
They're just when we're going to get rid of them. We're going to ban them from all these platforms.
We have a choice to make either to argue for a better standard or to argue that their crappy
standard should be applied more broadly. And we constantly argue that side of it. Hey, you know the
crappy thing that's hurting us? We should make it hurt the left too. And what does that do?
It just codifies that standard. And now that standard can be applied more broadly. So it happens,
this thing that we think is unjust happens to more people.
going to happen. I can't I can tell you right now. Here's what's going to happen. They're going to
start talking about some sort of a public utility. They're going to say, you know what, the
internet is really a public utility. I mean, Facebook, Google, it's so big, it's a public utility.
Mark Zuckerberg is begging for this. Now, why would they beg for this? Because it's
corporate socialism. They're going to get into bed with the United States.
government and do you think that's going to work out well when the government has access to the
information and data systems of Facebook and Google? Do you see what we're building here?
Scary. And you know even scarier than this because, you know, look, it was people from
Info Wars. It was people. It was Lewis Farrakhan. Another one was Paul Nalen, who is, you know,
to me, an awful, awful guy who ran for Congress and has said all sorts of anti-
Semitic things among others.
But can you
constitutionally even ban
a candidate
who's running for office?
I know we've done this a million times.
We play these things every single campaign cycle.
Some legit KKK member
will run for Congress and radio stations
are forced to play their ads.
They're saying horrible things,
the worst things you can imagine, but they can't
do anything about it because of campaign finance laws.
They're going to ban people who are actually
potentially running for office.
This new decision from Facebook, if you get on Facebook and you defend the people who have been banned, you say, Laura Lumer is great.
What is Laura Lumer done?
What is the Washington Examiner done?
And that's, you're not, this isn't you saying these things.
This is if you go online and say these things.
Thank you, because it'll be taken by media matters and taken out of context and then we'll be banned.
But if you say that on Facebook, you can now be banned.
Here's the quote.
In some instances, when Facebook bans an individual organization, it also restricts others from expressing praise or support for them on its platforms.
So they disappear.
This is, I mean, this is insane.
This is what they did to the Jews.
If somebody just disappeared, if your neighbor who was Jewish just disappeared, do not.
Ask where they went.
Don't ask.
That was the law.
Don't ask.
Because if you really want to know, oh, you'll find out.
You'll be on the next train.
This is how it started.
Who was the person that came up was initially talking about digital categorization?
Do you remember who that was?
Yeah, it was.
I want to say Edwin Black.
Yeah, I think it was.
And that's it.
I mean, obviously there's a massive differences here.
But listen, I mean, that is the same, same process being applied to speech.
Yeah, it's digital.
It's just, it's not, it's not physical yet.
Yep.
But it is digital.
I mean, it wasn't physical at the beginning in Germany either.
No, it wasn't.
First, first, you just couldn't have a, you just couldn't have a business.
Remember that?
You couldn't have a car.
You couldn't have, you couldn't have your own radio.
I mean, you, you, you, you would lose your phone rights.
Hello?
is anybody paying attention
again you don't necessarily
get to the end of a road when you start
walking down it but if
what is at the end of the road is something you don't like
don't take steps don't start walking down that road
all right let me tell you about our sponsor it's filter by
spring is here pollution
I'm sorry pollen is in the air
pollution is too
yeah
and that just comes
it doesn't have to spring did you see AOC
what she said yesterday about
she was
talking about we had somebody from the fossil fuels industry come in and testify that fossil fuels
can be good and healthy.
Oh my gosh, no, you're kidding me.
What do you think is holding all of those little cold tablets into the capsule, you idiot?
That is a fossil fuel.
Petrochemicals.
What do you think Vaseline is?
Do you have any idea when they give you a shot with a syringe?
What do you think the little plunger thing is made out of?
Fossil fuels.
Yeah, here's the thing.
Well, here's a nice thing.
Let me give you a little graph to work on at home, little boys and girls.
Chart on the graph, number one, life expectancy.
Number two, global population.
And number three, CO2 emissions.
See how close those lines are.
What you're going to find is they're almost identical.
When one goes up, the others are going up.
When one goes down because you've banned it, the others go down.
When we have global recession is the only time the other line goes down.
You know, I've banned myself.
I've done really strongly hard not to call people morons.
I said, I don't want to call people morons, so I have to just get it out of my system right now.
And I'm not going to say it about anybody in particular.
But there's a lot of freaking morons out there right now.
And I'm losing my mind because we're not waking up.
Where's your bottom, America?
Where's your bottom?
I think you're still in the middle of a commercial, by the way.
I am.
I'm going to point that out.
Oh, yeah.
It's filter by.
Maybe there should be some filters on this program today.
Anyway.
The best of the Glenn Beck program.
Hi, it's Glenn.
If you're a subscriber to the podcast, can you do us a favor and rate us on iTunes?
If you're not a subscriber, become one today and listen on your own time.
You can subscribe on iTunes.
Thanks.
Well, another right-wing extremist.
you know, the kind of right-wing extremist like Lewis Farrakhan is.
Right-wing extremist Stephen Crowder is joining us now,
a guy who is in jeopardy of losing his over 4 million followers on YouTube.
Quite honestly, a company he helped build by promoting it and being on it.
Now they are saying that, well, he's violating all kinds of rules,
and he now has three strikes against him.
Stephen, give me the update.
What's happening with you and YouTube?
Well, first, you know, I've seen better days.
Last week, I went on a couple's cruise,
and next thing you know, I'm getting my feet and levels checked
and being told about Zeno and I have measles.
So warning to everyone out there.
Yeah, make sure you get it right before you know.
The timeshare sale there isn't exactly what's built.
No, I do.
I hate to correct you there.
We don't have three strikes on YouTube.
So I don't want to get super nerdy on this, but we were going to have three hard strikes on my YouTube channel, which, like you said, is close to 4 million subscribers.
And with my lawyer, we kind of negotiated that down to one hard strike.
And, you know, here's the thing.
A lot of these are false copyright claims.
This happens because there are big corporations that abuse the system and YouTube doesn't really follow the law.
And not just conservatives deal with that, of course.
But when you add that up, the cumulative effect of everything being demonetized, of other videos also being either removed or deemed a violation of services, we really do have to deal with it on all fronts.
And it's a constantly changing rule game.
That's the issue here with places like YouTube.
And, you know, I've gone out and met with the executives at YouTube.
So is my lawyer.
We've sat down and said, okay, what are the rules?
This is your platform.
That's fine.
Do you want conservative voices?
They kept saying, yes, yes, yes, we do.
We said, okay, how do we need to create content to make sure that we're not a foul of any of these rules?
We follow all of them, and now they've changed.
So to give you an idea, Glenn, this is a little bit nerdy, but this is how it used to work.
You used to get hit with a copyright claim on YouTube, okay?
And then you would file a counterclaim.
And the people who were hitting you with a copyright claim had 10 days to file suit.
That's the legal process.
In other words, they say, hey, we think this is copyright.
You say, no, it's not.
And then they say, okay, we're going to sue you or not.
Now, we've never lost a case.
Shia LeBuff, Bob Ross Estate, I think the carbon.
Bob Ross's Estate.
Oh, that was a great episode, too, Stephen.
That was a great episode.
That's a classic.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, naturally, we kind of expected to get in some hotball.
Or dead, one of the two.
Yeah. Once you paint Muhammad as Bob Ross in a parody of the article,
you've kind of decided your line of work.
Yes.
You can hear the sound of the door slamming behind you.
Yes.
This last one, we did a parody of Kisses, Dr. Love, and we did Dr. Trump,
and we created the track from the ground up.
So in other words, we have the project file.
We can show this.
This is in a karaoke track.
We created a track.
It's clearly parody.
We went to the effort of making a music video,
and this video was run in three different videos in form of a clip.
one clip or another. So boom, it was going to be three strikes. We said, well, hold on a second.
We'll just remove it here from the other places. We'll keep your up and we'll file a counterclaim.
And YouTube said, well, that's not how it works now. We've changed the rules. You're going to get hit with a hard strike.
But if you take the hard strike, then you can file your counterclaim and they'll have 10 days to file suit against you and do you.
Do they remove the hard strike?
Well, this is how it used to be. It used to be before the hard strike.
So we said, okay, we'll incur the risk.
Well, let our channel get a hard strike.
Because if you get three, your channel's gone.
It's gone for good, baby.
So we said, okay, we'll take one hard strike here.
We'll file the counterclaim, and then they can sue us, put their money where their mouth is.
Instead, we allowed the hard strike.
We filed a counterclaim, and then YouTube just rejected the counterclaim.
This has never happened before.
It is the duty, the onus is on them to sue us to the truth that we're guilty.
Stephen, I...
Stephen, what would you say about, Stu, what's, you know, the guy who does the parody
songs that you've always loved for, you know, eat it?
What's his name?
Weird Al Yankovic.
How, I'm a nerd.
What you just did is what Weird Al always has done.
Right.
So what is the difference?
Well, that's where, you know, you suspect foul play because we're a conservative.
And I don't think it's completely ill-founded when you look at the fact that they just, you know, Facebook and Instagram just banned, you know, Alex Jones, Milo, Paul Joseph Watson.
And as you said, far right, Lewis, Far right, Lewis, Eric.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, you have to hear from what, wait, wait, wait, I have to give you this.
This will, your head will explode.
This is actually what the Washington Post responded.
It's perilous to force to force strict left-right labels in framing onto political extremist.
but even an elementary understanding of Farrakhan's beliefs place him on the American political right.
What?
Yeah.
People assume the opposite because he and his followers are black.
Oh my gosh, I'm going to lose my mind.
Farrakhan assumes the opposite because he says, no, it's the opposite.
Also, I hate Jews.
I think that's why.
Someone's going to quote me saying, I hate Jews or the devil.
Okay.
And here's the thing, just to give you an idea, I didn't agree with Farron.
Why? I despise Lewis Farrakot. I despise him. But he has been a part of my life, my whole life. He's been saying crazy things since I think before I was born. And we've all seemed to survive it. We cannot begin to ban speech, period.
Right. Well, they've already begun to ban speech. And the thing is, you know, we're, I don't,
I don't want to say this to sound like it's boastful, but we're far in the way to be a one
concerned on a YouTube channel that's ever existed, ever.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I'm very grateful for it.
And the issue is, you know, listen, if we're going to be banned from YouTube, and I don't
know that we will, there is no one left.
It just means they don't want conservative voices.
I mean, we host people of all different kinds of opinions of all different walks of life
for crying out of luck.
This is the channel that does change in my mind, which is literally conversing with each other
and rationalizing their positions.
course, all those videos are demonetized. We've accepted that for a long time, but here's my question.
This is the ultimate question. We're going to fight this legally. People can follow me and, of course,
join up at the Blaze TV and support us mind, which is a segment that we do. That, again, is one hour,
no profanity, unedited, completely contextual of people conversing in a civil dialogue.
If that is demonetized, if that is considered a violation of YouTube's policies,
Consolvent please tell me how can conservatives be on the platform?
Not that it could possibly be.
At a certain point, they just have to say,
now, listen, we don't want any conservatives on the platform.
But they're not, and that's the dishonest business practice.
If today YouTube said,
I'd say, I'll be a little business model.
If you just want to take part on social media,
it's ridiculous.
Stephen Crowder, thank you so much.
Thanks for everything that you do.
Thanks for leading the way.
and being brave enough to do the stuff that you do.
I mean, in some ways, you're borderline nuts for doing it
because it's a great risk to you personally and to you professionally.
And I admire you for that.
And I'm glad to work by your side, even in the background,
just cheering you on from the cheap seats.
But thank you so much, Steve.
Well, thank you very much.
And everybody there, please get your measles vaccination before you go on a cruise.
I learned the hard way.
Thanks a lot, Stephen.
I appreciate it.
This is the best of the Glenn Beck program.
Bill O'Reilly.
Facebook began another round of purges yesterday.
How long before they get to you and me?
You know, I don't know much about that world.
We use it on Bill O'Reilly.com.
You're the Facebook machine?
Yeah.
I mean, you get the stuff out because that is a powerful way to do it.
I don't know if I had any trouble with them.
I mean, we use them and we're fairly responsible.
However, there are First Amendment protections for organizations that deal with news and public affairs.
Well, the Pointer Institute yesterday came out and issued a list.
Yeah, I saw that.
You were on that list.
Yeah, I'm on that.
That's not, see, the Pointer Institute is really a piffle, a piffle. They're not important.
Is that a word of a day? Or are you going to save it for another one?
Yeah, a piffle. But Facebook is. All right. So the Pointer Institute, nobody knows who cares.
No, no, no, Pointer Institute.
And Bill O'Reilly's that and it doesn't matter.
No, Pointer Institute is respected by the left and people like Facebook.
and they use things like the Pointer Institute to be able to change their algorithm and say,
no, well, we've discussed this with experts.
We're just going with the best experts that are out there that are saying these are, you know,
unreliable.
I mean, that's how Apple decides who goes in their Apple news.
What I'm trying to say is that if you have an organization that is being harmed by another organization,
and you can prove your freedom of speech constitutional.
rights are being violated, that other organization is in trouble.
Well, so let me ask you this. YouTube right now is going after people because of copyright laws.
Now, you and I know, hey, I appreciate copyright laws. My stuff has been taken, and I have to have
have to have attorneys that are watching over our copyright laws. However, there is something called
fair use. Now, if you take a whole show of mine and you put it on the platform and you're getting
money for it, then that's a problem. However, fair use is something that we all know about.
Facebook and YouTube now are going after conservatives by claiming fair use, by claiming copyright
laws. And we had a team of attorneys in this week because we last week, we were flagged like 50
different times for fair use issues. And we're like, wait, this is what? This is what you do. You show
somebody on MSNBC talking, saying something stupid, and then you comment on it.
That's fair use.
Who drove that action against you?
YouTube.
MSNBC.
All right.
So MSNBC didn't like the fact that you were using clips of their shows.
Yes, and it's not just them.
It's not just them, but they were one of the main culprits.
All right.
But there is a fairly well-defined fair use doctrine.
Yes.
But YouTube.
The FCC.
Right, but YouTube is not covered by the FCC.
You don't have a problem.
FCC does not cover YouTube.
YouTube says, you know, they have their own rules.
No, no, but I'm not talking about YouTube.
I'm talking about you.
You're the blaze.
So you guys don't have any downside.
Now, if you want then to say to YouTube, hey, the federal government is fine with what we're doing.
Can you explain further why you're doing?
you're giving us a hard time, that puts YouTube in jeopardy.
I remember when I was young and naive.
I think you need to hire me, Beck.
I'm going to come in and take over the cooperative.
I don't know.
Okay, so let me go to, let me go to this.
We'll do one more thing on social media.
Barack Obama now hired by Netflix to do history programming.
Well, Barack Obama is a production company, and I don't begrudge him that.
He can do whatever he wants to do in that area.
So he's going to make Barack Obama history stuff,
and Netflix thinks that enough people will watch it to make it profitable.
I don't have a beef with any of that, as long as we know what the production is and who's behind it.
You know, it's really strange, though?
You know, it's really strange, is I've gone to Netflix with history.
No, they're not interested in history.
I bet Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck could both walk in and say,
If I brought something to Netflix, the odds are that I wouldn't get, I got four movies made from the killing books, okay?
Yes.
But the movies that I got made were made by companies friendly to 21st Century Fox.
Correct.
If I had taken my movies to Spielberg or to Katzenberg or to Disney, I would have got no.
Right.
But here's what you're, here's what you're, here's what you're, here's what you're, here's what you're, here's what you're failing.
to recognize, I think, Bill.
And that is, the times are changing.
And it is, the kids are not watching television.
They're just not watching it.
They're watching everything on YouTube.
I get that.
I know.
Yeah, everything is on YouTube, Netflix, Amazon.
If we are boxed out of Netflix, YouTube, Amazon,
there's no way to communicate to the next generation.
There's going to have to be another company that comes in to do programming,
just like Fox News came on the scene to challenge the liberal media 23 years ago.
That's what's going to happen.
You're not going to change the culture or force private companies to be fair.
Okay, so how do you...
That's not going to happen.
So another production company is going to have to rise up.
This is theory now, Bill, and I know you don't engage in theory,
but I would like to hear your response to my theory.
I believe that, I mean, Zuckerberg is calling for more regulation.
On him, what company ever calls for more regulation?
You know what I'd like?
You know what we need around here?
We need more government inspectors.
We need more government regulation.
Nobody does that.
Nobody does that.
He's calling for more regulation.
And I think with the moves that are making, you're going to see even the conservatives say,
you know, these platforms, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're,
utilities. It's like the phone. It's a utility. We should regulate those things. I think that the government getting involved and regulating things like Google and and Facebook is coming and it is going to be really, really bad because the socialists in these corporations and the socialists in our government are going to love to have that much control, power and information.
Well, it's not going to happen under the Trump administration.
They won't do it.
But if there is a liberal president next time around or in six years, then what you're saying is probably
going to happen.
But there is a lot of money, and I mean big, serious money on the right in this country.
And there's no reason why they can't start to form companies that compete against Zuckerberg
and the others, because they would make money.
There's a huge audience as Fox News has proven that want to see programming that isn't skewed left.
And, you know, when it comes right down to it, we don't want government pinheads telling creative people what to do.
We don't.
But we have to really understand that the entertainment industry and that encompasses books and movies is 80% left wing.
And they hire based on their ideology, not on skill or creativity.
And they're only getting worse.
Other private companies have to come up.
You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program.
So then should we just go around?
How do you want to pick?
Random piece of paper.
Andrew, that's here.
That's over there.
We're picking now random.
Because I guess Glenn is just taking the first.
No, no, I'll take a random number.
You want to take the random number?
Yeah, if you're going to do a random number.
I just want you to know.
Now it's not scientific.
I love a P.
There you go.
All right.
All right.
Let's see.
Who do you have?
I got number one.
Okay.
So there we go.
Glenn gets number one anyway.
I haven't even opened it.
Who's got two?
Oh, I did.
I did get number one.
Oh, you did?
I really did.
I was just...
I've got two.
Sarah Gonzalez, host, does news and why it matter already.
It's rigged.
This thing is rigged.
It's a rigged.
It's a rigged.
God telling us.
All right, Sarah Gonzalez, news and why it matters gets the number two pick of us three.
I've got three.
Andrew Heaton, host of Something's Off with Andrew Heaton, who should learn to talk into the microphone.
He's going to be a broadcaster.
I've got three.
All right.
He's got number three.
And I have number four.
Pat Gray.
Pat Gray Unleashed gets the number four.
Okay, so now, so let me just explain this to Andrew because he'll understand it this way.
Imagine that all of the names that are running for president here, you're going to issue them a red shirt because a team has to beam down to the planet.
Okay.
So the last person that's picked gets either a blue shirt or a yellow shirt, and they're the only one coming back.
Gold shirt, but okay.
Yeah, gold shirt.
Okay.
All right, Glenn.
You got it?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
But now I don't understand it.
So the last person picked would be the consensus that...
That's the best candidate.
The best candidate that we wouldn't want.
Yeah, the least offensive.
We're going to back into that.
So I think the one thing to remember here is we are trying to pick the worst president.
If you, no matter what your definition of how that would work, if this person became president,
you'd think they'd be the worst possibility for the presidency of the United States out of this field.
I mean, boy, I've got, I mean, I got the whole slate.
You do.
But I'm going to go because I just couldn't take it if it was Elizabeth Warren.
Elizabeth Warren with a, I would say this is a surprise number one overall.
I mean, I could have gone to Bernie Sanders, but Elizabeth Warren would just grate on me after a while.
That would be agonizing.
So Elizabeth Warren goes first overall in the worst possible president draft.
We go to Sarah Gonzalez, news and why it matters, sir.
I would say Gillibrand because I can't handle the social media videos.
She'd just be four years of.
working out videos and the beer pong with water, that's unacceptable.
That is absolutely unacceptable.
What about the democracy dollars?
The latest, her latest is democracy dollars.
What the hell of democracy dollars?
She's given away democracy dollars to her voters so that they can donate to everyone.
To everyone so that they can donate to her campaign.
Yeah.
What is that?
So that she can get 65,000 donors so that she can make the debate stage.
Oh my gosh.
She's given away, she's given away shrewp bucks.
Yes.
From shrewp farms.
Yes, but mostly playing beer pong with water is just, that's disqualifying.
That is.
Number three.
So I would say, first two picks off the board, surprising.
Surprise.
I thought for sure Bernie Sanders would go number one or at least number two.
I did too.
We go to Andrew Heaton.
Something's off with Andrew Heaton.
I'm going to get Bernie Sanders.
Ah, that is my...
You like Bernie Sanders.
What do you mean?
That's not fair.
My nightmare is to have to choose between Trump and Bernie Sanders.
I want to get him out real quick so that I don't have to make that decision.
I will say that's a huge value.
pick at number three overall that. I'm impressed by that by Andrew Heaton.
Getting Sanders at three is something I did not see coming. That's a bargain.
All right. Pat Gray from Pat Gray Unleashed goes number four.
Oh, wow.
Still some pretty good ones to choose from. I'm going to say Cory Booker.
Oh, damn it, that was my number two pick. Yeah. That was my number two.
If I would have had Elizabeth Warren and Corey Booker on the same team, there's no way you beat me for obnoxious.
Now, I will say, now I have two picks in a row here, a snake draft format.
Wait, you have to.
That's how a snake draft works here, yes.
That's how we do it.
You didn't say we were doing a snake draft.
Explain that to me in Star Trek terminology.
Okay, so say Captain Kirk had the last pick of the first round.
He gets the first pick of the second round so that we all even it out.
Like an episode 14.
Yes, exactly.
And then we go back around this.
This is like next generation.
I say, Q, I'm telling you you're playing games.
That's what's happening here.
There's a lot of Star Trek references going on that I don't know.
I will not play your sarahed anymore.
So I am now at the point where I've got two picks in a row,
a lot of good ones on the field, and still on the board.
I'm going to go with my first pick, Bob Franco Rourke.
Oh, come on.
I just could not take Mr. Hand gesture, sweaty, climbing on counters like he's feline.
Could not, just could not take it,
if Bob Franco work was on our TV
any more than he already is.
And with my next pick,
this is not right.
It starts to get a little bit difficult here.
I'm going to go with,
I will go with Eric Swalwell.
Eric Swalwell is just,
now, no, you might not know who he is.
He's currently pulling at 0%.
But he's a guy that goes on MSNBC
says the most outrageous things he can
to get attention.
He's basically running on getting rid
of the Second Amendment right now.
He's an irritative.
attention hog, and I would say both of my picks went down that road of O'Rourke and
Swalwell.
So Swalwell goes number six as the worst possible president out of this crappy field.
Next up, Pat Gray.
Wow.
I think I'm going to go with John Hickenlooper.
Really?
Yeah.
Hickenlooper.
We got to take these off as we go because I don't know who's up left.
Hickon Loper is a climate change nightmare.
Hick and Loper is all about.
climate this, climate that,
Green New Deal.
He is a true believer
in Algorism.
He is.
You're triggering Andrew.
You are triggering Andrew a little bit.
I like the moderates.
But I will say,
Andrew has his chance to take another one off the board right now
with the, let's see,
1, 3, 5th, 8th overall pick here
in the crappy candidate draft.
Well, I left New York about six months ago
and I would be horrified
if Bill de Blasio became my president
after I escaped.
Yes.
So I'm going to pick
a while out,
do you?
He's still on the fence.
He's not in the race.
So de Blasio.
Those are on the fence.
He can't pull from on the fence.
That would have been a good pick,
though, I will say.
A very good pick.
All right.
In that case,
I'm going to go with Julian Castro.
All right.
You guys are taking all of my picks.
Now, Castro's an interesting one
because you could get two for one there.
There is a twin involved.
So are you taking both twins off the board here?
Can I do that?
Can I do that?
I think you can.
I'll take both castros.
Okay.
So Castro times two goes eighth overall to Andrew Heaton, if something's off with Andrew Heaton.
Now, the news and why it matters, Sarah Gonzalez with the ninth pick.
I'm going to go Kamala because I think she's going to be viewed as a moderate, but we all know that she's not anymore.
And I think she could be dangerous.
I mean, anytime you get a woman running for president, you have to question their intentions.
It's always the women who say this.
It's only women who say they don't want women presidents.
I want that to be known to the nation.
So I'm going to go for, I'm going to go for.
I'm going to go for Joe Biden because I think there's a chance he just is drooling on himself within the first 18 months.
And then it's like whoever he picks, you know, when you're voting for Joe Biden, you're really voting for vice president.
Wait, what?
Are you saying you're going to kill Joe Biden?
No, definitely not.
Don't even joke about that.
Don't even joke about that.
No, I'm saying, have you heard his speeches lately where he's like,
God, uh-huh.
He made, okay, that's, he's slipping.
So I think he may be drooling within the first
20 months.
Well, he might be.
All right, we are now in the third round.
Glenn Beck's second straight pick here, and there are snake format draft that everyone
understands, except for everyone other than me.
Here we go.
I get another one?
Yes, you get another one here.
I'm going to go for Pete Buttigieg because I, I, uh, I just, I don't trust.
I don't trust anybody who,
everyone says you're supposed to hate
Chick-fil-A on your side and you don't
I think that could be
no it could be good but it could also be
a massive mask
yeah I also he's at night going
oh you hate Chick-fil-A
when I'm president there's no chickens left
he keeps saying in speeches too
look running for president
when you know coming from being
a mayor of Southbed
I mean it is it's beyond
bold
don't say that about yourself
It's so irritating.
And I just don't want the four years of the first lady, first man.
What do we call it?
Oh, gosh.
That would be.
First gentlemen.
All right.
So we've gone now through 11 picks here in our disastrous Democrat draft.
And next up is Sarah Gonzalez of the news and why it matters.
I'm going to go with Wayne Messum.
Wayne Messum.
Something tells me he doesn't have the experience required.
Now, he is the mayor of Miramar, Florida.
Well, that is true.
That is true.
Wait.
You said Miramar.
Miramar, Florida.
Well, that does not change anything.
Okay.
So, yeah, way and messing.
That's a good one.
Because we've been picking on kind of the annoying policy stuff,
picking someone who probably is not qualified.
I mean, Amy Klobuchar is still on the board.
She is, she is.
And Andrew Heaton has an opportunity to take someone off the board now.
Andrew, Democratic disastrous draft.
Who is Seth Moulton?
That's a great question.
And many people who are voting are asking the same.
Okay.
You know what?
I'm going to do a wild card and go with Seth Moul.
Okay.
All right.
Democratic representative.
You're going to leave Marianne Williamson on the board.
Who is Marianne Williamson?
Okay.
Oh, Marianne Williamson.
That's an Oprah guru.
She'd be fantastic.
Hold on.
Is that the psychic from Florida?
No.
No.
I don't know if she's from Florida, but she's a new age.
She's not a psychic, but she's new age.
Sarah wants her to be president.
Oh, she would be a scream.
Can I change mine?
Can I go with the...
You cannot.
That is not how drafts was.
You do have another pick coming up, however.
But not before Pat Gray has his third round selection.
Who is the worst Democrat left on the board, Pat?
I think I'm going to...
I'm torn between Andrew Yang, who wants to eliminate circumcision,
and Jay Inslee, who I think I just confused Jim Hickenlooper for.
John Hickenlooper.
See, I even mixed up the name.
I think I'm going to go Andrew Yang.
Andrew Yang off the board.
There we go.
I kind of like Andrew Yang.
Except the whole, you know, circumcision is.
There's some weird stuff going on.
He did say on the Shapiro thing that it was just a personal choice.
He didn't want to ban it.
And Ben accepted that.
I mean, I know people who are like, I don't know why I've ever talked to those people.
In fact, I think I never talked to them again because it's just like, why are we talking about this?
Let's move on with our lives.
Yes.
Anyway.
My heart started to flutter there as I thought Pat might take an important pick out of my draft.
With my third round pick, I am absolutely going with Jay Inslee.
Inslee is a huge climate guy.
It's really running a one-issue campaign on the climate.
He has just been the first state to legalize human composting.
That happened over the last 24 hours.
Human composting is now in play, which is interesting.
But I will say he also blamed the flooding in Iowa on Donald Trump,
which I thought was a nice touch.
So I'll go Jay Inslee there.
And I got to say, because I am terrified of Sarah Gonzalez allowing Oprah
and Kim Kardashian's guru to be president of the United States.
No, don't do it. Don't do it.
I am absolutely taking Marianne Williamson off the board.
Oh, man.
I do not.
No.
I don't.
We already have too many Kardashians in the White House.
I don't want more showing up.
Marianne Williamson off the board with my fourth round pick.
Pat Gray is up next.
Crushed my dreams.
Okay, we're going to do that here in a second.
First, we're close to finding the next president of the United States
and one that I think no one will know.
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