The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos - 'Do We Even Have Fun Anymore?' A Listener's Story of Funterventions

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Natalie Robinson used to have fun - taking her kids to the zoo or the waterpark - but recently life started getting in the way of her being playful and goofy. Then she heard two episodes of The Happiness Lab in which Dr Laurie Santos wrestled with exactly the same dilemma.  Inspired, Natalie got together with the friends in her running club to throw themselves into fun interventions - funterventions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.

Pushkin. When I was 10 years old, I took part in the new Bedford High School Drama Club's production of Peter Pan the Musical. I was obsessed with Peter Pan, the boy who never grows old, the boy who got to enjoy the fun and games of childhood forever. Now that I'm in my 40s, watching old videos of me belting out songs from that musical is kind of sobering. My 10-year-old self believed that she'd follow Peter Pan's wise example and never lose the playfulness of youth. But for the last few years, I was allowing the stresses of adulthood to prevent me from having fun. So I decided to take on a very personal quest. I spent a few episodes of this podcast trying to inject a bit more fun back into my adult life. I did things that pushed me outside my comfort zone,

like taking a surfing lesson, and things that were just mindless fun. I just want to be with you. Like singing karaoke. I guess you never felt that way. I carried out a fun audit, looking at the kinds of things I like doing and asking myself exactly why I enjoy them. Turns out I get a kick out of doing absurd stuff with big groups of friends. My fun factors also include dressing up and goofing around. Hence my love of Halloween parties and 80s sing-alongs. And after those two episodes, I've tried to prioritize having more fun. I started to regularly stage little fun interventions, or funterventions as I call them. I plan little trips, play silly games, and generally look for odd but enjoyable adventures to have with the people I care about. I search for things that

are social, things that make me forget my worries, and things that make time fly by. And often, playing silly games winds up being the easiest option. They swim in a whale. A fish? Yep. This is Heads Up. It's a guessing game where you place your phone against your forehead with the screen facing your friends. They then give you clues so that you can guess the name of the animal, object, or person that's shown on the screen. Australia? Koala. Yeah.

But today, I'm not playing heads up with my friends. Has a pouch for their baby? Kangaroo. Yeah. I'm in a recording studio in Franklin, Massachusetts, sitting across from three people I barely know, but who have taken the message of funterventions to heart. Natalie Robinson, Lisa Whelan, and Jen Moran are all members of a running club for women that became so much more than that. We are bound by running, and then we became friends. This is Natalie. And we have gone through, I feel like every life thing. We've had parents die,

we've had divorce, we've had engagements. And different than other friendships we all have in town, we're not connected from neighborhoods or kids sports or school. But it's truly just this great group of people that came together starting by running and then it just grew and grew and grew. And part of that growth involved Natalie's love of a certain podcast. Yep, Natalie is a Happiness Lab fan. She loves all our episodes, but my two shows about losing touch with fun really hit home. I remember in your podcast, you were saying like, I'm a fun person, but I don't really have that much fun. And I sit on the couch and I watch TV and yeah, that's relaxing, but it's not really fun. And I found like when the kids were little, it was so easy to have fun. Like you take them to the zoo, you take them to the water park. And then when they get older, there's less things to do as adults that are that pure fun.

And so when we heard your podcast, we were like, yeah, are we fun? Like, do we even have fun anymore? Like, let's have more fun. And so the members of the running club threw themselves into staging regular and often quite elaborate funterventions. In fact, these ladies were so inventive, so organized, and so disciplined about adding fun to their lives, I had to share their story with you. And I started by asking Jen Moran how fun, and especially fun with friends, had been squeezed out of their busy lives. We're balancing so much when you have a young family and a lot of us were working as well,

and we were getting up at 5, 10 in the morning because we wanted to get a run in, and then not everybody could run. And so we were trying to catch up with each other, kind of almost in between. We would joke around that we needed minutes from each of the runs so that we could send it around so we could all stay in touch with what was going on because everyone was just so busy with their lives. And I think friendship was so important to all of us, but prioritizing and making the time to focus on that is just as important. And that's, I feel like what we've started to intentionally do now. Let's talk about the beginning of the running club because there was, you know, your busy moms and things like that. How did the running club get started,

Natalie? So it actually started, one of our friends started a, like a town running club, different than the people that we run with now. Somehow it, Somehow that sort of fizzled, but a group of those people kept running together. And then it would be like, my daughter was in elementary school and I was chatting with someone and she was like, wait, you run? Yeah, we run. All of us run. Come meet us for a run. And it used to be like people were nervous. I remember one of our friends in the group was like, I was so nervous the first time I ran with you guys. And like, I'm the Midwest person who's always like, where are you from? Like, what do you do? Blah, blah, blah. Like, I always kind of chat and make the newbie feel welcome. And then they would bring people. I don't know. We just sort of... Word of mouth, we found out other people also ran and we

would say, meet us. So we just send out a group email or text saying, this time, this place, whoever can go, goes. And there would be times when there'd be 10 of us running, but then there'd be times when there'd be three or four. But everyone knew that there was always going to be a run on the weekend or in the morning and you could just join in. And now it's funny because in the beginning, we used to run a lot. Like we would do like a 10-mile run. And sometimes there would only be one other person on this 10-mile run. And in your head, the night before, you're thinking, what am I going to talk to her about for 10 miles? I don't have that much to say. And almost a nervousness. And now you would never be nervous to be with one-on-one with anybody in the group. Like we are just so like all very connected.

And a lot of our fun in the beginning, because we were busy and it was a big deal to like escape for the day, your responsibilities as a mom, like we would do the harpoon five miler and we would do road races. And then we would go out for drinks or lunch or something after

and be like together for the day. That was really like our beginnings of fun. And I love this story because it seems like there is some worry about like, will this actually be really enjoyable? I don't really know this person, but that's really what the science shows about the power of social connection, right? Is that like, it's going to be more enjoyable than you think it's going to be. Well, that's actually one of the surprising things about the fundervention for me. It's not so much the activity, but sometimes we'll throw a date out. And how we started it was, if you're the person doing the fundervention, you say it's going to be this date, this is what we're doing. And maybe everybody can come, maybe only two people can

come. And what I love is I'll be out at a funtervention and it'll be with two people in the group that I wouldn't normally spend the day with. And you get to know them so much better. And you realize that different combinations really get along great and have so much fun. And it's a very different experience than when the whole group is there. So that was surprising to me. And just for some facts, so how big is the running group now? Like how many people?

So there's 13 of us now. We started as 15, two moved away. So there's 13 of us that are on this running group text where we talk about just about everything. But also run and walk and plan activities. And now we do, yeah. And the running group is the funtervention group. Like it's the whole running group. And I think we're always like,

if we're telling stories to our family or other friends, we're always like, oh, my running group, my running group, my running friends. Everybody knows who it is. Even though only half of us run that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And so how did, so I'm curious,

like who the person was in the running group that first mentioned my podcast or got into the podcast? Nat. Everybody's pointing at Nat. And so how did you find out about the show? I saw you on the Today Show and I was slightly obsessed. And I just like, I, I love being, a lot of us do, like want to be our best self basically and always looking for self-improvement. Like we all sort of have our roles in the running group and also in the funterventions. And I'm always sending people podcasts, like something that's sparks my interest that I think people will like. And yours was often one that I send, but the funtervention one, I was like, oh my gosh, we need to do that. Like, we need to do this. This is awesome. You spoke at the PC graduation

and she even live streamed it to listen to you. You broke it in a private college so you could see it. So I'm curious what you remember from the funtervention episode. Like what was so compelling about it when you first heard it? What I loved was when you said so many times people say, oh, that was so fun, but was it really fun? And what does fun mean to you? And going through that fun audit of like, think of the times that you were having the most fun and what were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you? And you can start to see the things that really are fun to you. And we kind of took that and ran with it with this funtervention because as Lisa said, everybody gets a chance to pick something and it's what's fun to them that they either want

to do because they've never done before or they want to share with others something they have done. And so I think that, and then I just loved, because I love being goofy and having fun. I loved when you're talking about the surfing and I could just picture it. And then we did cross country. We tried to do the surfing, but we just, the weather, right? Well, and I don't think everybody was up for it. Yeah. That was a little dangerous, I think. But when we, it was dangerous. It was just a silly podcast stunt even for myself. We did do cross country skiing and Natalie and I laughed the whole time because we were always falling down and people were trying to help us and we didn't care. And it was, that's kind of

resonated with me when you said that about just being goofy and not caring if you fail, just getting out there and doing it. Any other parts that resonated or? The other thing that when I listened to it, I thought about the world is in a really exciting place and there's so many fun things to do and you get caught in your normal and your routine. And I think, you know, if you think about 13 people with families and busy schedules, we would say, we should go celebrate Jen's birthday or something, or we should do something. And it's like everyone's competing schedules that you could never find a date that would work for everybody. And then

we would move it out and move it out. And I was like, we should just pick a month and just you do what works for you and set something up that you think seems fun. And don't clear it with anybody. Don't see who can. Just be like, people aren't really ever selfish like be do something that's completely You've been wanting to try that works for your schedule. Whoever can come can come I also really liked in the podcast talking about like losing track of time and flow Like that's how I feel when I cook dinner. I love cooking. So I love that feeling and I also liked the idea of like connection and I think almost anything,

even if it's not really like fun, can be fun if you're with the right people. Totally. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. The playfulness, connection, flow combination, I think is very unique. It's hard to get all three, but if you can do it. Yeah, exactly. It really is. I also liked what you said in one of the interviews in the podcast about Little Delights. Oh, yeah. And so I actually started a notebook of Little Delights, but I love that idea that even just simple things that happen or you see that you can say, wow, how amazing is that? And just take a minute to think about it and record it. And you mentioned doing the fun audit. Is that something you all did with the group or that you did solo? I tried to do it and then I gave up. I think like it's hard.

It's hard. Sometimes it's hard to really remember the kinds of things that, you know, you enjoyed and you had fun doing. I've talked to other people who've done the fun audits and they say, it's just kind of embarrassing because the things I'm talking about were like when I was 22 and you're in midlife now. And so it feels embarrassing to feel like you didn't do that many fun things for a while. But I'm curious what was on your fun audit, Jen? My fun audit, my fun factors were activities, some type of laughing, goofy with friends, games. So for my funtervention, I picked a scavenger hunt, which has all those elements. And I think I like those types of things where you just can have fun and be goofy, but it's activity-based too.

And there's some, you know, thinking and strategy. It was a top. It was fun. Yeah, that was a really fun one. It was good. And so Lisa, what were the rules of the fun intervention? Because it kind of had some structure too, right? A little bit. I think at first we all kind of freaked out and thought we had to have these really cool, you know, complex things. And then we kind of settled into, no, it's just something you really just want it to do and haven't done it. And then you found out that someone else was like, oh my gosh, I always wanted to do that. If it's your month, you pick the activity and you pick the date that

works for you. And some months, everybody can do it. Some months, three or four people can do it. And initially, of course, we all start to feel bad. And, well, maybe next Saturday's better and we have to stop ourselves because we made these rules at the beginning. And then, really, it could be anything. We've gone to Block Island because it's one of their happy places and they want everybody else to experience that. Or walks along the beach and then beer at Cisco Brewery in New Bedford. Yeah, so let's walk through some of the favorites of it. Yeah. Okay, so some of the unique ones we did was we did a salt cave. Salt cave sounds amazing. What is a salt cave though?

I think it's kind of a new concept. It's a room that is covered with salt. It's low lit and it's very quiet and it's meditative. We did do that and there was a lot of giggling. We've gotten kicked out of a lot of spas because it's supposed to be the quiet room and we're talking and giggling. We also did wreaths around the holidays and that was another fun. It was fun to line them all up and take pictures. We did floral arranging. There's a lot more to it than I think we realized, which was very fun. Were people good at it or was that something you had to engage some self-compassion for? What was interesting is even though we were all told what to do, everybody's came out different and they were all gorgeous.

So what was the first funtervention, the first one that you all went on together, Natalie? I think it was Vernice's actually. So we did a, a friend had a house in the Cape in Falmouth and had enough bikes for all of us where people brought bikes. And we just took a simple bike ride along her favorite path, went out for like lunch and drinks after and then biked back. And what was the reaction that like, how many people did it and kind of that first one? Maybe like six to eight, maybe six, a good, I feel like that one too was like before it was really official, if that makes any sense. Like she sort of got it going. It was sort of like a little more loose before we really like assigned months.

So the first one with like the assigned months was the salt cave. And that, I want to say it was almost all of us and it was in situate and it was a friend's, relative or friend owned it. And so she wanted to give her some exposure and bring this group to the salt cave. And it was just very relaxing, something that no one had done. And really, we all enjoyed it. And

then I guess it's going to keep coming back. Everything we do, we end up then going out after for food or drink or something. So then we did the salt cave and then we had brunch at a really nice restaurant. And have you tried to incorporate this idea of like playful flow? I know you get the connection a lot because you're all together, but. I think some activities are more playful than others, but I think the connection, the flow, because we always find new things to talk about or there's something that someone's going through that they want to share. And we're also,

I think, all like fun and like to be goofy and just enjoy each other. Scavenger hunt was definitely a lot of playfulness, like because we engaged with the public. Like we had to like, I remember like one of them was like clucking around a crab, like pretending you're a duck and you have to cluck around people or we had to get people to do a conga line with us. And we did it. And we have like videos and pictures to prove it. Like that was the most playful. And it was competitive because we were two teams. We are very competitive. Who won? Which team? We did. Being playful and finding flow are two key components in selecting a good funtervention activity. But often when we think about what might be fun, we're tempted to return to familiar pleasures, hobbies or sports that we've long mastered. But when I first embarked on my own funtervention, I picked a new activity that I was bound to suck at, and one that took me to a location where I felt very much out of place.

The beach. I went surfing. I'm also very happy it doesn't seem like we where I felt very much out of place. The beach. I went surfing. I'm also very happy it doesn't seem like we have to swim very far out. Because if the waves were out there and they're like, go drown. It feels like I could walk back. After the break, I'll talk to Natalie, Lisa, and Jen about the fun that you can have by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. The three friends will also share their top tips

for making fun a regular part of your routine. The Happiness Lab will be right back. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. This year, it's more you on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Gemini's because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what?

We love that for you. Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble. A few years ago, if someone had asked me what I did for fun, I'd probably have struggled to come up with a good answer. After a moment, I might say something like, uh, I don't know, I guess I just watch Netflix. Now, there's nothing wrong with curling up on the sofa

to binge your favorite series. It's familiar and comfortable, but research shows there's real value in being adventurous and pushing the boundaries of what you're willing to do in pursuit of fun. I took a surfing lesson with friends and was fully expecting it to be miserable, but despite all my fears of drowning, shark attacks, and looking dumb, I had an absolute blast. It was the best thing I've ever done. That was super fun.

I was really scared, but that was okay. When the members of a Massachusetts running club began injecting more fun into their lives, they too decided to try some pretty unlikely activities, including picking up lethal weapons. So the one that I think we had no idea how hard it was going to be was when we went and learned to shoot crossbows. None of us had ever done it. It was so out of all of our element, but we all were terrible and we laughed and the guys that taught us didn't know what to make of us at the beginning. And then at the end, we were all laughing and like great friends and enjoyed it. And I did not hit the bullseye once or even the target.

They gave us the picture and the dots were all over. They were very worried about our safety the whole time. So Natalie, you mentioned another one that pushed your boundaries. So we had one, it was like a Pilates kind of gym class and everybody was like, I'm scared, but I'll do it. Like all of us were like, I'm scared. I'm not going to be very good at this. So that was one that was completely like pushed us out of our comfort zone. And it was fun. And it was, some of us weren't as sore the next day as we thought we would be. So we are convinced we didn't do it right. Not that we are like in great shape. And then cross-country skiing, like Jen said, was another one where that was mine. And I was,

where that was mine and I've always wanted to try it. And when we planned it, all the lessons were full. So we just had to wing it and we didn't know what we were doing. Some people did. Jen and I did not. But it was fun. It was just playful, silly, falling. And for me, it made me want to go back and actually take a lesson so that I could really learn how to do it and maybe do it more I love this idea that there are activities that people thought I'm gonna hate this I don't want to do it but I'll go anyway you know there's this kind of help that the group gives you to give you a little bit more confidence or maybe I'll try it you know because everyone else is doing it I mean what is that done for for your confidence levels I imagine that trying these things out when you thought, oh, I'm going to just be terrible at this, I'm going to suck. And then it was okay. Like that, does that help you do new things in

the future? I think it does. I feel like we, no one's judging anyone. We all just want to experience it together. And some of us will be better than others. There are definitely some more natural athletes than others in the group, but no one feels embarrassed or feels bad if they're not good. We just laugh and just enjoy the experience together. And so I think that does give you the confidence to say yes when someone brings up another idea that maybe goat yoga was the other one that just came up recently that hasn't been scheduled yet, but some people are like, oh, I don't know, but I'll do it. Okay. I think some of it too is no one wants to miss it. Even if you're not interested in the event, but you're free, you'll go because you want to be with everybody. And I think that's the kind of thing where it can, that benefit of social connection can really push you to take part in these activities that you might not have gone to, but inevitably are going to be more fun than you think.

I think this is a big problem with the mind is that we assume, oh, that'll feel like too much work or I won't enjoy that or I won't be good at that. And that can cause us not to go. But when you have the kind of camaraderie, maybe slash pressure of the group, like you kind of have to go to these things. Exactly. maybe slash pressure of the group. Like you kind of have to go to these things. Exactly. And some of us are just better at finding these events and are better planners.

And others of us, like myself, are just always have my hand up. Yep, I'll do it. Yep, I'll do it. And I'm a follower. So for me, it's great because I don't innately find these activities. Like you guys are so good at that,

but I will definitely always join in. And we've done more than even just activities. Like you guys are so good at that, but I will definitely always join in. And we've done more than even just activities. We've gone to plays together. We have a book club that the running group does every month. So we also like to listen to podcasts. And so why did you need the funtervention group if you already were doing these things that were really pleasurable and fun? Jen? I think we wanted to be organized about it and make sure that each month we could have a fun activity to do together. So it was really putting a little bit more structure around this connection of women and creating opportunities to do fun things together. And you might think that that structure makes it more rigid, maybe less fun,

but talk about why the structure was really essential for everyone to get together. I just think the structure was essential because it's so easy for the month to get away from you. And we have really carved out the time. And like you said, even if it's something you're not that interested in doing, it's like, I am not missing out. All my friends are going to be together and I'll move heaven and earth in my schedule to make sure that I can be there. And I have never regretted doing that in order to be at one of them and or to be with these guys. So it's definitely worth it. And I think that what we try to do is schedule it almost a month or two out so

that people can save the date. I think what becomes hardest in life generally is everybody has a lot of commitments. We all have families and friends. And so by having it be structured with save the dates, people mark it and it's that day is our funtervention day and more people can go that way. It also seems like it's a pretty forgiving process, right? Like I imagine if you had somebody in the funtervention group that just for whatever reason couldn't come for a bunch, they don't get like kicked out of the funtervention group. Absolutely not. Never. So I want to talk about some of the benefits that you all got out of this funtervention process. I'm curious if there was some extra social benefit that you got out of doing the funterventions process. I'm curious if there was some extra social benefit that you got out of

doing the funterventions together. There's a beauty when you're in small groups. Sometimes like we're this big group and that big group is awesome, but there's certain times we have three tables and you're maybe only at a table with four and it might not be the person that you're usually with. It just gives you a chance to connect a little bit more, a little bit deeper with somebody in the group. And so talk about the playful part of the fun interventions, because so many of the activities you took part in, whether it's the scavenger hunt or, you know, kind of like the flower arranging, which is, you know, maybe supposed to be serious, but it sounds like you all had fun.

Like that playfulness seems to be a big part of it. Was that playfulness something that you were getting a lot of in your regular life? Or is it something that you really got out of the funtervention? Maybe Lisa? I would say the playfulness I got out of the funtervention. Because you don't, in your regular life, you know, you just try to always be doing the right thing, making the right decisions. But when we were doing like, say the flower arranging, we were like stealing flowers out of other people's arrangements because theirs looked better and I didn't have as many and laughing about it. So I definitely think it's helped me be more silly and stuff.

Yeah. Natalie? Well, we did one of the most fun, I thought one of the most fun ones was a cooking class with a chef in Boston. It was like we made food together, but there were other people at the event. It was not a private event. And I'm sure for those other people, they were like, wow, these people, like, because we are fun and we're laughing and we're goofing with each other and we're silly and we're goofing with the chef. And I just kind of, you feel for the other people in the group. But there is definitely like a silliness to our group. I think in like that fun audit of the podcast, when you think about it and you really think about in your adult life, in Franklin, the most fun you've had and the things that you've had fun at, it's usually these people in this group are present. Maybe with their husbands as well, maybe just them, but they're

a big component in our fun. I also think there's a playfulness in the activity, even if it's not really a playful activity. So as Lisa was saying with the flower arranging, I remember my friend Carrie's flowers, she was moving them around so much that they started to like literally disintegrate. And we were making fun of her because these beautiful flowers are falling apart and hers is wilting and ours is all looking great.

And so you can just make any activity really playful. And I think that that's what we found with a lot of the things that we do. We just start laughing about whether it's in the salt cave or bike riding or cross-country skiing when we're all falling down. You can make it fun. And I'm curious if that fun really helps you get through the other more difficult times. You know, you talked about how this group has been around through all kinds of big life changes and stresses. Any good examples of how the fun got you through a tough time? I think there's a bonding that by participating in so many different types of activities and really putting yourself out there with a group of people, I think we put ourselves out there even

when we have hard times and we rally around each other. And there have been a lot of instances where people have needed support. And we also are the first to kind of come together and say, what can we do for that person? One of our friends had a foot surgery and we were like, what can we do to help her? Even if it's just sitting and watching TV with her or bringing her food. We've all had family things that have happened and no one's trying to pretend their life is something that it's not. We're very honest about what's going on and asking for advice and getting support. And I think even like one of the people in our group, one time we were walking or running and she was like, I feel like this group is the happiest group of people I know in this town. And we're very real.

And some people would say when you're running, you can't really lie. I don't know. It's like a saying. But it's hard to not tell the truth when you're running. Kind of the truth comes out. But it's no like keeping up with the Joneses. Like people say, oh, my son did this. My daughter did that.

My husband did that. Like no one's pretending that their life is anything other than what it really is. And I think we, like Jen just said, we come together, like Jen is more like the sunshine committee person. And I feel like I'm more the doom and gloom committee. Like when someone's, like we had a friend whose mom died and I just remember being at the service and looking at the pew and it was like 10 running people. It was just a really solid, supporting show of love. And we're there for everybody. But I think that's a beautiful part, right? Is that if you're engaging in social connection during the funterventions, that's fun and you're getting a social connection, but that connection is real connection, right? Those are the people that are going to show up when you're in a moment of grief or when you're struggling and you need someone to help you when

you break your foot and so on. So it's not just kind of like, oh, connection, you know, this fleeting thing, you know, while you're flower arranging, it becomes the kind of thing that forms these really deep, real friendships over time. Oh, yeah. People wait to come to the group and they'll have an issue if it's one of the kids, you know, because we are, our kids are sort of, we hit every age, every grade. And, you know, you'll come and you'll be like, okay, so this is what's going on. And then people with older kids will be like, same thing happened. This is what we did. This is all brought us closer.

And the connectivity is like a couple of us have run a marathon. And when you're training for a marathon, we'll wait at different points and I'll run five with you. I'll run the next eight with you. And we like tap out and we each do like when that person has to do a 13 mile run, they don't do a mile of it alone. I can't do a marathon, but I can do five or six miles. So we all do that. And that just is our friendship, I think, in our group. So when we decided to have fun together, everybody sort of, I'm in, I'm in. I wanted to add to what Natalie said at the funeral that she was referring to. That was such a powerful moment when I just felt when I looked across and

saw a whole pew of all of us there for our friend when her mom passed. It was just a moment where like it just hits you of how important that friendship is, you know, and I think that meant a lot to her too to look out and see all of us across a pew like that. And so it has all these benefits, but it can be hard to do. Mostly, I think the biggest constraint on other people engaging in fun is just time. You know, so for listeners who think that this sounds amazing,

but there's no way they could fit this into their schedule and there's no way their friends could fit this into their schedule. What advice do you have about how to get it started? I would just say start small. It doesn't have to be every month. It doesn't have to be a group of 13 people. If you have a close group of four friends

and you make a point of even four times a year, each person schedules something and it's something that doesn't have to even be expensive. A lot of the things that we did were actually no cost at all and some were pretty nominal cost and just getting out there and finding something new and different that you want to explore or do together.

So another thing that comes up is that people start to worry about whether their preferences are like weird in some way. You know, I have my own fun factors, but they might not be your fun factors, right? And so how do you navigate that sort of thing? Do you vet the ideas ahead of time or how do you figure that out of thing? Do you vet the ideas ahead of time or how do you figure that out, Jen?

We really don't. And I do think you have to be up for this idea of a fun intervention is something that maybe you don't think you're interested in, but you get there and it actually is more fun than you thought it was going to be. And so being open to that opportunity, even if it's not something that would have necessarily been on your fun list, it might be on your fun list after the event. Yeah, I think that's part of the message of all the things you've been saying is that, you know, nine times out of 10, maybe, you know, 99 times out of 100, it's going to be more fun than you expect. Absolutely. There was one exception where there was an email about would people do goat yoga? And I do think a lot of people- But it was goat yoga or a boat ride. And we were like, boat ride. Yeah. I'm also curious how the other people in your life

react to this, right? I mean, I imagine many of you have like husbands and kids and you're all off doing these fun things that sounds like they might not be invited to. Like, have they ever had any reaction to this or do they get inspired to do their own funtervention? We have had friends that have, when we post a picture, have commented, I want to do funderventions and we do know that they've started to set them up with some of their friends.

Sometimes people ask if they can join us, but we've really left it with the running group. Our kids definitely love it. My girls and their friends all follow us on social media and they cannot wait for the pictures to come out of the funtervention that we just did. And sometimes, I mean, they're in their 20s, they'll go and do the things that we did. And so we're like icons. So it seems like your funterventions are inspiring them to do fun stuff too. Yeah, to go to the same places and do the same things. So yeah. I think the reaction I get, like if I'm telling

someone like a work person or, and I start to talk about like our group and the number and the closeness and the connection, even before I get to like the funtervention part of it, just who we all are, their first reaction is like, I don't have that. Like, oh, that sounds so nice. And we just happen to have a lot of people, but you could do it with any number of people. I don't even think you have to do it with just friends. When you think about it, if you have extended family members, you could do it with cousins. You could do it even with family. Coworkers. Spouses. Couples. It sounds like the key is just that you have to put in a little bit of work,

right? It takes a little bit of structure. And then the fun part is Jen has it all chronicled. Sometimes we'll just go out and we'll sit and we'll go back through a lot like we did today and we'll laugh again about them. So a little bit of structure, it goes a long way and they're really fun. Fun memories. so do you want to hear how we ended up with the three of us we had to like basically

everybody wanted to do this like the whole group you would have had 13 of us if possible everybody wanted to everybody

like so we shout out that's what makes us us like all of us we got to give them a shout especially yeah oh yeah

they want to come all day today good luck you guys extra special thanks us, like all of us. We got to give them a shout, especially if they want to come. Yeah, they all want to come. All day today. Good luck, you guys. Extra special thanks to the entire Funtervention group. Not just Lisa, Jen, and Natalie, but Bernice, Carrie, Ellen, Jamie, Peggy, Maureen, Jill, Kim, Teresa, Karen, and Paula.

Alright, more heads up if we can get it to work again. Sure. Oh, Hannah Montana. Oh, Miley Cyrus. Oh, wrestler? Trent Holcogen. Yeah.

The runners of Franklin, Massachusetts are such a great group of friends, and they've really taken the science of well-being and the lessons of the Happiness Lab to heart. And if you missed the two episodes about my own funtervention, not to worry, because we'll be returning these two episodes to the top of our feed next week. Ugh, we're so done with New Year, New You. We'll see you next time. I always liked them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumble.