The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Colin Cowherd Podcast - Nick Wright Part 2: Roast Of Tom Brady, NBA Players That COULD Play In NFL, No Violins For Kirk Cousins

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Colin is joined by Nick Wright, host of “First Things First” on FS1 for part 2! They begin with the Bengals, and why they are one more Joe Burrow injury away from needing to draft an early round quarterback as an insurance policy (3:00). They explain why the Falcons weren’t crazy to draft Michael Penix and why Kirk Cousins isn’t good enough to complain about the move (7:00) They debate whether the Giselle jokes from The Roast of Tom Brady crossed a line and why the roast made them both uncomfortable (9:00) Nick shares a story of the time when he participated in a roast… and it backfired spectacularly (14:30) Finally, they push back on Austin Rivers’ comment that 30 NBA players could play in the NFL (21:30) and they list the much shorter list of players that actually could make the jump to football (25:00) (Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) Follow Colin and The Volume on Twitter for the latest content and updates! #Volume #Herd See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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eligibility restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Welcome into part two of the podcast with Nick Wright. I do think one more injury and the Bengals have to draft another quarterback near the top first, second, third round. I think that's becoming a reality. This is why I defended. I said this today about Michael Pennix. Last year, the foul Hawkins had no good quarterbacks and couldn't win a bad division. This year, they'll have the two best quarterbacks, and you're complaining about it? Like, 66 quarterbacks played. We're getting to a, we're getting to a point with Burrow that it's a real discussion. You've got to have at least a B backup. Now, Brady didn't like it because he never got hurt with Garoppolo. And Big Ben, similarly, hey, I'm still,

I can still chug along. My injuries are fine. But I think Burrow is going to have to own This team needs a backup. Sure. And not a six-rounder, maybe a third-rounder when we have other needs. So I think that's a real discussion that Joe and the Bengals have to have. For sure. You mentioned Pennix. So I'm glad you mentioned that because I want to talk about both those quarterbacks for a moment.

I have not understood the tiny violins for Kirk Cousins that have been out. Yeah, you know, do I. Here's the deal, man. And this is going to sound shitty. And I don't mean it too, but it's honest. Kurt Cousins is not good enough to get everything he wants. That's the thing. If Kurt Cousins is good, he is not good enough to get, so do I, I want to play in the worst division in football, no problem.

I want to play in a dome. We can do that. I want to have another massive payday with $100 million guaranteed. Okay, we can do that too. I want to have a lot of weapons. You know what, we've got that. I don't want to have any competition whatsoever. Sorry, Kirk, can't give you that one.

Like, you don't, like, the, he is good enough to get a lot, but not everything. And when you are something of a football mercenary, if you will, you have taken money and moved, whatever, and to his credit, there is a tradeoff in everything in life. One of those things is you haven't built up the equity within the organization for them to be like, oh, man, he's going to hate this. They just met you. Like, sorry. like the there is the person I feel for in this is Pinnix.

That like if if sports broadcasting worked the way the NFL does. And I'm coming out of Syracuse and I'm considered one of the three or four best in the world. And I'm like, oh man, there's this spot in this radio station in Las Vegas that might pick me that has. has openings all over the place. There's a radio station in Denver that might pick me that has openings all over the place. And then all of a sudden I get picked by a radio station in Atlanta and they're like, buddy, all our shows are filled up, but we think in two years maybe you'll have one. Be like, you got to be kidding me.

All these other places wanted me to play. Like, by the way, I went to grad school. I'm old. Like, you're talking about me. Like, I'm not going to get on the air until I'm 26. Like, this sucks. and so I everyone was like oh man Kirk so disappointed and I was sitting there thinking like

I get that he gets the money or whatever but Pinnix the difference between being the eighth pick and the 13th pick is not a ton of money he was going to be get first round guaranteed money no matter what and now he's got to sit so and again maybe it ends up being good for him and he's in a dome and he has the weapons but if we're going to feel badly for either of these two quarterbacks it's not the guy who just

left his team, got $100 million bucks, coming off an Achilles. It's not him that I feel badly for it. Yeah, I mean, I would say Kirk Cousins and there's people like this in every industry, has monetized his position to the highest possible level.

Brady took pay cuts. Tim Duncan took pay cuts. In the history of football, Kirk Cousins has monetized his talent to the greatest level. and deserves great respect for that. But to your point, Kirk, there's a trade-off. Yeah, Tom Brady can say Bruce Ariens, go upstairs.

Yeah, Kirk Cousins isn't going to say that to a coach. Right. That's the thing is you don't, if you, the only people who get everything they want in their work life are the absolute apex. best. And if you are the, if you are the very best in your field, you can kind of write the contract. If you are that still super valuable, but there's seven or eight people better than you, then you're going to get most of what you want, but not all of it. And I just think that's normal. Like I, it doesn't, I didn't, and I'm an empathetic person. I can. I can cry at the good enough tweet.

You know, somebody put out a tweet the other day. It was like, my dad wrote me these letters every morning before school growing up. I read it, I teared up. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I really think I'm an empathetic person. But I didn't feel a moment where I'm like, oh, poor Kirk cousins. It's like what?

Because you don't want to, because you deserve to not have to compete. And you're not even really competing. Like, it's your job. You're really going to have to screw up to not have it be your job. I don't get it. I just don't get it. I have an interesting topic. I'm going to throw at you. So I'm divorced, and my ex-wife and I have a fine relationship. We don't talk much anymore, but it was always very cordial.

Respectful. Sure. So I totally get that it's a roast. I totally get it. But I do hear the Giselle jokes. and I think to myself, that's a little rough for me. Like, I thought about this. I couldn't believe he signed up for it.

Yeah, I thought if somebody wanted to roast me, the first thing I would think about is I got to protect my kids, right? That's the first thing I would think. That's almost the first thing I think about always, is how is this going to land for my kids? and when I listened to the jokes, I thought a lot of it was hilarious. But I think I would have said, hey, don't, I don't want you going after my kids. Right, but that's, but that's, so here's thing.

That, but it's a roast. So I don't watch, this is a, I'm sure there's a word for it. I, I don't watch roasts because there's a, level of like that secondhand embarrassment thing is like something I really don't deal with well. Like there are certain times like we were talking about curb earlier. There would be certain moments in curb where like I literally like I turn away. Like I'm like, oh, I feel so even though it's make believe and it's someone else.

I get it. Internally I feel uncomfortable with. So a roast where and it's not that I don't watch roast because I'm offended. by the jokes. It's because there are certain things where I feel so badly for the person involved that it makes me feel uncomfortable. It's why I was shocked. It's,

I just was shot. Like, I get why comedians do it to comedians. And I get why fringe, I don't want to be rude. I get why Pete Rose would sign up for one. Like, you know what I mean?

I'm in the spotlight. It's a check. You know what I mean? mean like I get those things. I don't under like I was shocked that Tom signed up for it because it just feels like there's so many landmines and so much like you were saying I didn't I thought yeah there were a lot of people it seems like and I'm not really an expert to talk about this because again like I didn't I've seen some clips so I didn't watch it because I just don't enjoy that um but it seems like there were a lot of people that were not there that feel like that was not fun for me or my family.

You know what I mean? All of it. And so I don't, I also was kind of shocked. I was like, did Tom admit to deflategate in this thing? Was that like a what? I didn't understand a lot of it. Yeah. But he, listen, I mean, the, what didn't surprise me from the coverage of it.

was that Belichick came off great. What didn't surprise me is that people said, you know what I mean? That he came off great and did a great job. That sounds, that checks out to me. Yeah, and I'm not blaming anybody for the Giselle jokes. I just thought, ooh, that I would, I would, yeah, that was the one where I was like, oh, God, I don't. And I'm like you, I think Jeffrey Ross and Nikki Glazer are great at what they do.

I can't believe you have secondhand embarrassment. I suffer from the same thing. Like, I don't like to see people bullied or hugely embarrassed. I would rather, I know this sounds absurd. I, so I take the subway every day from when I pick up my daughter from school, I take subway home. And the subway platform, you go downstairs, busy platform. as insane as this sounds, I would rather slip and fall on the subway stairs

than have the person in front of me slip and fall on the subway stairs. Because like when I, like, I don't really care. Like I don't like I'm, I'm not embarrassed easily for myself. Like, yeah, it's okay. Like people saw me fall. I don't care.

But for some reason, the thing of like, oh, that person now thinks I was looking at them, they are embarrassed. I really, really, it makes, me feel super uncomfortable, the secondhand embarrassment thing. And so it's just, yeah, so I just don't enjoy. I appreciate that. Now, I will tell you this, this is an unbelievable anecdote that I'm about to give you.

So, Jamal Charles, who's going to end up being one of the greatest running backs ever to not make the Hall of Fame, so he got totally screwed by the Chiefs while he was there. He's just an all-time player. he's from Port Arthur, Texas and was my favorite player when I was covering the Chiefs in the early 2010s. And I was really associated with him because basically every time the Chiefs lost, I'd be like, I don't know about you guys. I would have given the ball to Jamal Charlesmore. Brody Croix is the quarterback, handed off to the guy who's getting seven yards of carry, you idiots. So when I was in Houston after Can City, Jamal was being inducted to the Port Arthur Sports Hall of Fame.

and they said, hey, Nick, will you host it? Will you be the host of the event? Like, yeah, of course, it would be honored. This is great. And the guy who put it on, he's like, it's a roast. I'm like, it's a roast? They're like, yes, it's a roast. But again, even though I said I don't watch them, this is, I'm like, okay, there's no

comedians here, but Andy Reid is there. Earl Thomas from Texas is there. So his teammates are there, whatever it is. is. And they're like, yes, it's a roast. Like, okay. So I'll, you know, write eight minutes of jokes. This is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever told this story publicly. There's a video somewhere. So I get up there and I am, I think, telling great jokes. Like, one of them was, God damn, man, don't you, I'm telling you this. Do not isolate this and put this on social media. I said, I turned to Andy Reed and I said something about how, I'm not going to tell the exact joke,

but how his clock management style reminded me of my sex life in college. There was something, there was a joke there. People can figure it out it was a good joke. He didn't like it. I said something about Earl Thomas and the Legion of Boom, whatever it is. And nobody's really laughing that much, but these are good jokes. And then every other person that came up there. did not get the memo this was a roast.

They got the memo that this was a toast. And no one told any jokes and everyone just talked about. So I just look like the biggest asshole in the world. I'm starting to think, I'm just killing everybody. Then everyone's like, here's how Jamal's changed my life. No jokes, nothing. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. You have got to be kidding me.

And the guy who did it, the guy who set it up, I'm like, I didn't get like misread the email. It was like, no, man. He's like, I'm sorry. Like, I told everyone it was a roast, but whatever, they didn't go with it. So I just looked like the worst guy ever. Like, Andy, I think was legitimately mad because Andy's a, and Andy and I are really cool now. But Andy, when he, when I then introduced him after the joke, he came over and maybe there's just how he shakes hands and he is a big guy.

But it was not like a firm handshake. like, I'm going to hurt your hand with this handshake, you smart-ass kid. Maybe making fun of my clock management. So maybe that's why I don't like roasts. Because one of the most embarrassing nights of my life was me thinking I was at a roast and it was actually a toast and I just looked like a bad guy. That is an all-time story. You can include that.

I know I said don't put it on social media. You can do whatever you want. Just maybe try to clip out the sex life in college thing. I have an image to uphold. But yeah, that is a real story. That's a true story. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games.

Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way,

this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment, and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music.

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and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do with Little Kim? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam Jek.

And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack all day, but just so y'all know.

I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack, so I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now, so... Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes, I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years.

for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So we'll end on this. So Austin Rivers came out and said I could pick 30 NBA players and play in the NFL. JJ Watt fired back. And I said today there are sports, and the NBA is included in this, tennis, golf, baseball, basketball. There is a skill level that erodes very quickly if you don't stay on it. If you don't hit a baseball for two months, you're cooked.

You're cooked. Basketball, when I was playing high school basketball into college every day, if I took a week off, my ball handling wasn't quite as good. And NFL is the one sport where you don't have to play college and you can be a Hall of Famer, Antonio Gates. It's not a repetitive sport. Some instances, mechanics for quarterback, yes. Kicking, yes. but a lot of it is strength, brutality, physicality,

instincts, raw athleticism. More than any other sport football, which is why so many of us play high school football and so many people participate. You can be big. You don't have to be fast. You can be a guard. You can only be able to kick.

You can be a punter. Right? Like there's a bunch of different stuff. That said, I don't think basketball players have any idea how much getting tackled hurts If you ever go to the sideline of an NFL game and watch Christian McCaffrey get hit, you cannot believe he can get up. You cannot believe he's not severely injured. It is a car wreck on every tackle.

So you should watch, I mean, well, you obviously know these guys, Howie Long's kids. You know, Chris and Jake Long, you know, so they have a podcast called Greenlight. and by the way, you own a podcast business or an audio business. You, like, I think, I think they are great. I think Chris is, Chris did. He tweeted. He said, emergency rant coming on, on Austin Rivers. And Colin, when I tell you, this is some of my favorite 10 minutes of media in the last month, you have to listen to it.

Because his entire take is that, not that guys couldn't do it. but like because they're not good enough at football. But I mean, and I'm going to not do it justice. He's like, oh, okay, Austin Rivers, you think you guys can come play football? Well, here's the deal. We got 53 guys on the team. There's three massage therapists. Oh, your body hurts.

Well, the masseuse is available at 4 o'clock. Why don't you get a lifting and shut up? Like, you're used to that in the NBA? He's like, oh, in the NBA, your coaches, how do they talk to you? Because my coach is MF me and then tell me to go lay in a queen-sized bed at training camp with another guy in my room. He's like, he does a whole thing. He's like, what's your flight's like?

Because for 40 of us, we're in the coach seats on a plane. His whole take was not, you wouldn't be good enough, but that our lives are just different. Our coaches coach us. Our practices are hard. He was like, what happens in the NBA when somebody gets hurt? Do they cancel shoot around? Because in the NFL, they move the drill. They just move.

They're like, guys getting carted off. It is a great rant. With that said, I came up with. eight guys. I didn't know you're going to talk about this. I came up with eight guys and their position. I guess it's seven guys. All right.

So Anthony Edwards could play running back or safety. I am certain of it. I am certain Anthony Edwards could do it. Young LeBron would be the greatest tied in in NFL history. I know it's true. Westbrook could play in the NFL. I'm not sure the position. Maybe edge rusher.

maybe safety. Josh Hart, I think, can be a wide receiver just based on his rebounding this playoffs. Chris Long said, I'm just going to trust him on this because I never would have thought of it, but he played the position. He was like, I've been watching the playoffs. I could make Jalen Brown a pass rusher. I'm like, okay, I believe you. He was like, he was like, he has great bend.

He seems a little mean. He's like, I could do it. And then, and this is going to sound mean. and I am not being mean. I am simply saying he would have to put on weight, which I think he can, and then all of a sudden it would be a benefit. He has great feat, great athleticism.

I think Zion could potentially be an awesome lineman. He's 6-6. You know what I mean? Can carry it big like Jason Peters was a tight end that went to it. So I do think, where I think Austin Rivers had a kernel of accuracy, is there are certainly more NBA guys that there are probably five NBA guys that could be good NFL players.

Like, good. Like, hey, give me a year to train, be a good NFL player. And I don't know that there's any NFL guys that could be really good NBA players because, like you said, your skill has atrophied. And if you're not over 6'6, it's all about skill.

You know what I mean? And there's nobody that's, 6-10 in the NFL to begin with. So I think the list you made would be shorter. But to give you an example, I think because football players are so thick, we forget how big they are. Go look at the video of Micah Parsons without his shirt on this week. He makes Aunt Edwards look like me. He is so big.

I'll give you an example. There's an old photo. of Michael Jordan standing next to Barry bombs. He looks like a straw. Is that remember Michael playing baseball? He looked like he was emaciated. No, that part's fair. That part's fair.

Yeah. These NFL guys, they regularly leg press 550 pounds. That is, when you watch Michael Parsons without a shirt on, My take is, and there are times he is engulfed by Trent Williams. Just engulfed by it. No, so that part, so people do. We all have a, like, our brain doesn't process how big NFL guys are and how tall NBA guys are. Our brain doesn't accept it.

Like, I mean, you see around the office occasionally, I assume my son, because he works on the lot. You've seen him there. Yeah. He is almost always the biggest guy. in the room. He's six, three and a half, you know, probably 200 pounds, maybe 190. And in a room of regular people, he's an imposing, cuts an imposing figure. He is the exact same height and about 10 pounds lighter than Steph Curry. And Steph Curry and the NBA looks like a little guy. And it's like, no, actually, Steph Curry's the size of a bouncer at a decent nightclub. It's like, you know what I

mean like the and so we everybody forget how tall NBA guys actually are that the guys in the when you're watching the basketball game and a guy looks like he's average height he's six seven and if you worked with someone who was six seven you would gawk at them and you you're right about how just the raw strength of the average NFL player that part is unquestioned and just the long brothers pointed out the physical and mental toughness to just get tackled by the strongest people in the country over and over and over again. He said, he said, he was just talking about guys who, because who would just get full, he said, he was naming NBA guys.

He's like, he'd get folding up like one of those camping tables. Like, oh, you're seven feet tall. Well, you're four feet tall now because you just got, he's just got folded in half. It's a great rant. It is shout out to him, man. I know you and I are two people, two of the ten people in the world who appreciate a great rant as much as anybody. And this was a great rant by Chris Long.

I highly enjoyed it. I do think there are a few, though. I think there are a few guys who could do it. I do think Anthony Edwards could play safety. Because I don't think safeties are the size of Micah Parsons. It's just flying around like a missile. I think he could do it. He's 22 years old.

I think you play safety. The Chiefs just drafted a kid in the first round weighs 160 pounds. That guy don't want to see Anthony Edwards coming over the middle. It just doesn't. I'll give you LeBron. We'll stop right there.

Nick Wright, as always, buddy, it's great. Absolutely. Talk to you soon, Colin. Bye. The volume. Thanks so much for listening. If you've enjoyed the podcast, take a moment, rate and review.

Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform?

We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smygle and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, what's good, y'all? You're listening to Learn the Hardway

with your favorite therapist and host, Kare Games. This space is about black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit or armor? It signals to the world that you're not to be played with. And just because you have the capability that does not mean that you need to. Listen to learn the hard way on the AHA radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.