The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins and Jonez - Jenkins and Jonez are outta Pocket

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

The collaboration with WAVE.tv is back for another NBA Playoff edition. The guys have teamed up with Buckets to break down the first round of the playoffs and talk about all the issues with the Nets. #HerdSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, West Virginia, or Wyoming. gambling problem call 1-800 next step welcome to Jenkins and Jones am out of pocket the crossover Am out of pocket What the shit It's a big day right It's a big day for hate And that's what we've all gathered here to spread some hate today

So I'm very excited We all enjoyed watching The Nets become the only team that's going to get swept out of the first round of the playoffs. I'm tired of from Hayden, though. I'm in behind. It was a long day. Like, that shit is fatiguing.

You need to drink a Kelseyus or one of John's energy drinks. Hey, bro. Get your hate up, bro. It's 9.30. It's 9.30 Monday night. It's hate time. I got a few keys over here. That's Celsius wait for you, bro.

I can ship them to you. You know what I need for a low seat. So, I mean, I know I miss the spaces. I'm sorry. got all the best jokes off there. But what did you, what did you, what did you think of, uh, of the nets officially going down? And, and, uh, I'm just still, this crazy to me, bro. Like, it just flies in the face of everything we've seen from the NBA.

You put a KD and a Kyrie on a team together. And that's not supposed to be a four, uh, four game suite. It didn't fucking matter. Like, John, and I'm not calling you out in particular, John. I'm just calling out the school of thought that it was like, who needs coaching, who needs difference? so you got studs out there who can get a bucket whatever they want. No, you need all

that shit. I told you that in the playoffs the game slows down it because it's a half-court chess match and motherfuckers pull out that clipboard and they go to work. And right, and fucking Steve Nash got lapsed around him this whole fucking series. He didn't know shit what to do besides fucking play KD 46 minutes a game.

You know what I mean? So like I said, I just don't ever want to see anyone tell me that a team without coaching and defense can win a championship regardless of how good the players are on the team. Because we've never seen that fucking happened before ever. It feels a lot. It feels a lot like

Steve Nash just wrapped a Ferrari around a tree. Like you get given the keys to a car. He had no business driving. He fucking hammered that gas pedal and that suckers around the tree. And I feel bad. We wasted KD Prime years. We wasted

your Kyrie's Prime. Like I'd love to see this. We didn't waste shit, Zach. They wasted that shit. We were there really defending, trying to figure it out, trying to in our head figure out the equation that was going to make one of the worst defenses in the league somehow become great. But after they lost game one, it definitely felt a little weird.

Kyrie 39 peaks, flipping the birds, double fucks you, in the heart of Caucasian, no less. And, you know, didn't produce, didn't deliver down it when it mattered. But at the end of the day, that's what you get for leaving LeBron. I mean, I didn't think I'd ever see Katie look that bad. You know what I'm saying? like Kyrie did not play all that well, you know, too. So, I mean, this series outside of game one.

So, I mean, that's why I was thinking, you know, like, you can throw whatever defense to them. You know what I'm saying? Like, we've never even seen Katie's shot guy block. We saw his shot get blocked three times in four fucking games. You know what I'm saying? I guess you have somebody out there playing 40 plus minutes for so long. They'll be tired as fuck.

He is human. You know what I mean? But, dog, like Jason Tatum took a huge step. I thought Jason Tate is going to be good. We've talked about this prior where, I saw Tatum being the best player in the league at some point. I think he's going to be there earlier than I thought. I thought I'd be three or four years.

I mean, to me, Jason Tatum is one of the two best players in this playoffs right now, I think behind Yonnis, you know what I mean? But the step he took offensively where he's like leading the team, running the offense basically, you know, making two people around him better. And then also playing like lockdown defense on the best score we've ever seen. No, I didn't see Jason Tatum doing that. You know what I mean? But yeah, I mean, it makes sense.

You need a good coach. you need to play defense. I just thought, based upon the Katie we've seen and the Kyrie we've seen, they'd be fine. And it makes sense that, you know, you have three of the better guard defenders on one team playing two of the best shot getters. That's unsustainable, you know what I'm saying, as far as, you know, winning a seven-game series. It's just not going to, it wasn't going to work. There were some impressive blocks.

You know, it was not an impressive block attempt was Blake there at the end. I just, it was heartbreaking watching him try and stop. Was it Marcus Smart? Kind of like trying to seal the game. And it was like, Blake, why is Blake getting thrown to the wolves here? Like, his minutes are all screwed up. Everyone's getting thrown to the wolves. You know, it's just the wolves are eating very well tonight off that series.

But I think it's unfortunate that the most obnoxious people who watch basketball were correct during the offseason that the Lakers needed spacing and the Nets needed coaching. But the funniest moment of the whole game to me was Steve Nash is really he's coaching for his life out there And he got up and he starts yelling at the reps at one point And Stan Van Gundy acted like he'd seen a full lunar fucking eclipse He was like you don't usually see Steve I mean he's one of the more polite coaches with the officials He's really up and giving it to him

It was just like they were astounded that he was trying to coach in an elimination game Bro, funny shit is As SVG With the bat for Steve Nash Earlier today on Twitter And he just basically Cello fans like Y'all don't know

What the fuck y'all are watching And you know what? I get that Of course I do not know What I'm I do not look at this The game the same list

Of a fucking NBA coach Of course I will never And fucking think I'm That fucking great of a fan You know Beat that full of myself But it was like SBG started calling that game

And he was like Yeah what the fuck is Steve Nash Yeah It's like everybody right back to us. Like, I have no idea if this dude is fucking doing. And that shit was fucking hilarious, man.

But, um... You call SGG a coach. He's a former coach. Okay? A former coach. He's a... My fucking ain't coaching nowhere right now. He coached in the broadcast booth.

But I'm just saying, like, so I saw him post that same shit. He was responding to everybody going in and out, whatever. But I don't know, man. Steve Nash, it sounded great on paper. I feel like, you know, you passed up a lot of the other guys

who had a lot more experience who were ready to go, kind of trying to sell that same bullshit Steve Kerr narrative that you were trying to give us and here we are. There's wild saying. Ain't no short cuts to this shit. That's the lesson here, right? You can't dribble, dribble, jibble has your way to a championship.

You can't fucking substitute, cool substitute teacher coach your way to a championship. You got to get a motherfuckers going to get on your ass on a goddamn February, you know, fucking, um, road practice. You got to have some team that's committed to playing defense. Ain't no shortcuts to this shit, bro. Like, that's why I don't get motherfuckers like, oh, bro, I just, you know, he just It's so easy. No.

No, all the LeBron's teams were, they executed well, and they fucking committed to demons. This team didn't either of those. They didn't even commit to playing basketball. Like, like, Kyrie played 18 games.

What the fuck? You know? It's just incredible. You put Kyrie and Ben Simmons on one team. It's just a special energy that's coming up. Did you hear of? tonight. Did you hear Blake Griffin is leading in charges this year? That was so like,

Blake Griffin going from a human highlight to leading the league in charges. Like, who saw that? Leading the league in charges taken? You know, and Blake, you said what? You said what? Leading the league in charges taken? Yeah, charges taken. Yes.

That's what he's become. A human charge taker. They were talking like, and he's only did it in 15 minutes per game, a playtime. I'm like, this is how you're talking about Blake Griffin now? That's crazy. So the Celtics rode to the championship. They got the nets down. It would probably be bucks and then heat sixers,

heater sixers after that. Do you think that the Celtics can win the NBA championship this year? Yeah. I think so. I don't want them to. I don't want to see Bill Simmons tweeting about it for fucking sure. So I don't want to see them do it. And I'm sorry, Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown,

you both seem lovely. But your fans make it just too difficult. I can't do it. I can't do it. I won't do it. Someone tweeted this is for lucky. For luck. Who tweeted that?

The Celtics man. Oh, god damn that big baby. Yeah. Yeah, I can, I can assure see the Celtics winning it. They're committed to defense. They've got fucking studs on office with fucking Jalen and Zatim. They're well coached with EMA. They check all the boxes.

We'll see. Joe's like me. Fuck the Celtics. Yeah, fuck the Celtics. I mean, it's not. I'll get one and a half shit. It's fuck the fans. Just fuck everything about the Celtics except the actual Celtics.

You know what I'm saying? Marcus Mark, Jalen. Fuck the arena. Fuck the leprechaun. Fuck the fans. Fuck the city. Fuck the colors. Fuck the name of the team.

Fuck the history of the team. Fuck most of the dudes on the team except Jason Tate. I love you. I like the team. I'm sick to my stomach that these dudes are wearing green. because if they were wearing any other fucking jersey, I would be such a bandwagon fan of this team right now, but I can't do it with something.

Shit, let me pitch something, though. They lose in the Eastern Conference Finals. Jason Tatum starts to look around. He says, I'm not that happy here. I'm sick of this Boston bullshit. And he starts pushing his way to the Los Angeles Lakers. He might just do that anywhere. LeBron got to follow up.

That is a fan picture for your ass. I feel like Tatum locked into like 20, 26 or some shit, though, right? He is, yeah. None of that means shit. None of that means shit. He can leave tomorrow if he wants to. All right.

Good luck. Good luck. You know what I'm saying? But he signed a contract. Yeah, motherfucker. He started hard. So, Kyrie's a free agent, right,

at the end of this year, correct? Yeah, but he said he wants to come back to the Nets, right? And him and he said that about wanting to come back to Boston until they got clapped up out of the playoffs. His quote today was astounding. He said, when I say I'm here with Kev, I think that really entails us

managing this franchise together alongside Joe and Sean. Bro. This motherfucker, look, he had that 39 point. He had that 39 point all world game, game one. Yeah. And then he scored 46 total points the rest of the series.

Shot 37% the rest of the series. He's like, yo, I'm the motherfucker hosting the Zoom meeting when we're discussing free agency after the season. Like, that's the shit that Katarea is all. Like, I'm just, I am totally for a player in power, but I'm at the point where, like, where does fucking self-awareness come into it, bro?

Nowhere. You expect out of the carrie's going to. Yeah. Where has he shown us he has that ability? Nowhere, you know what I mean? Love as a player, but we're talking about him as a person when it comes to that type of stuff. It just ain't you just ain't got it.

Not yet. Hopefully it changes, but we haven't seen the reason why it would. Oh, no, it isn't changing. Part of me. Love to see a rich black man. being this arrogant and this out of touch we needed to bring balance to the force but the other have us like

Negro you just got swept by the Celtics what are you talking about going to people's men I like I like seeing young I like seeing players being this arrogant while leaving a fucking trail of shit that they're getting worse.

Curry is staying in this shit being this way you see what I'm saying? Like I fuck with a player like any who told the you know pals hey y'all figure this shit out get me to LA I'll fuck with shit like that but Kyrie is like digging himself deeper in a hole here. You know what I mean?

Like there's no sub-words there. Damn. One last salute to Ben Simmons. That brother's starving. Somebody put that underneath the Kyrie Ramadan lost shit. Sorry. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell.

It's fine. Let's talk about Sixers, Raptors, Doc Rivers is halfway to fulfilling his destiny of becoming the first coach to blow a 3-0 league. Listen, bro, I told y'all, look, I think this is

for better, for worse, I think this is Doc Rivers' last top as a coach in this league. I think it for sure got like a front office job or, you know, a fucking announcer job if he wants it. But I think this is his last top as a coach. And I told y'all when they went up 3-0, I said, what better swan song for Doc

than do a little? been to blow a fucking 3-0 lead and god damn we'll see man it's carved in stone in Mesopotamia somewhere that 2,000 years from now Doc Rivers will blow a 3-0 lead

That's unfortunate I laugh but like I laugh only so hard knowing there's like 80% chance he gets fired and Jeannie Bus immediately calls him So, like, I'm laughing, but I'm like, ha ha, ha, please don't get fired because there's a real chance. He becomes the Lakers head coach. And fuck that.

That can't happen. Jay Wright is the only hope. Y'all got to play up on bronze, you know, fucking nostalgia of never playing in college and hoping y'all can land that over Doc because Doc ain't it, bro. Get Coach K. Coach K's got some time. Okay, okay, okay. Would you rather it be Coach K or Doc Rivers?

I gotta go, I gotta go, Kay, at this movie. Doc Rivers only won one ring with KG, Rondo, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, all in their primes. And like, Sheed is like still a functional NBA. And Tips as the defensive assistant who scheme that championship up. Like, hey, no, I cannot give credit to that. Not for 2008, bro. I really can't. But, yeah, that's a tough call, though.

Can you imagine Kay trying to tell Lakers to go run a lot, like go run 22s or something like that? That shit is not going to fly. I can't imagine that. That's the worst coaching scenario ever, no. I don't fuck with either one. Okay. The Mavs are doing the important work, charity work, of getting the jazz out of our. collective consciousness.

I have down, I like this question from Chuck on here. Why does no one care about this series? I was going to make the joke. Did they play in the night? But like, yeah, bro, that was rough. Only exciting thing happened when Hassan White's had clubbed Luke on the way to the hoop.

And that was kind of the only time I turned my head to look back at the screen. It was not a pretty game. How long are the jazz going to try to keep this shit up, man? Bro. I can blow it up, right? One more loss. They'll do it for one more loss and then they'll blow it the fuck up.

I didn't see what's going to be this bad, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like fucking Jalen Brunson getting two wins off of y'all. You know what I mean? Y'all's supposed to be one of the better teams, at least in the Western Conference dog. Like, that's crazy, bro. Yeah, I just don't see this. This can't last too much longer.

They can't keep getting away with this. And we don't give a fuck because it's the fucking jazz, bro. Like, what the fuck? It's obvious where we don't care. Ain't fucking jazz. in Utah. When have you ever gone to Utah? Like, let me go hear some jazz. At least change the name.

What's the line from basketball? They sent the jazz to Utah where they don't allow music. Like, I fucking love that. The fucking footloose ass fan, dog. I'm like, Hey, yeah. The songers.

I don't think anyone gets a fuck about when it happens to the jazz. I'm so not invested in the fucking drama. I want to ask you guys, if you blow it up, what are you going to get for Rudy Gaubert. Your only piece is Donovan Mitchell. Who wants Rudy Gobert? Who's making that trade?

You're going to keep trying with this shit here, though? Like, you know what I'm saying? Obviously it ain't working. You know, it's time to figure something to yourself. You know, this ain't it. That's what you do know, you know what I'm saying? True. I think, I mean, I'm not, I will not say something nice about Rudy Gobert on this show.

I'm not going to do that. But I do, but I do think on a rock. with a different construction. It's kind of like we used to talk about with Paul George. It's just like he can't be, it's him plus one guard. I mean, that's just not what the game is now. But I mean, if you like imagine him on some of these other teams in the playoffs. It's fucking freak show defensively.

It's just, you know, at some point they're going to need him. I don't know. I've greatly been enjoying watching him dance around on the perimeter trying to fucking guard trying to guard anyone at the 3. Point that's been a fucking delight. It's like Luca's literally just switch, switch, switch, switch, yes.

Food, food, food, bro. Oh, shit. Yeah, I don't know. So do you think they'll close them out? I would love it if they would just, if the Mavs would just win game six and end it. You think they win game six? Bro, nobody gives a flying shit.

Let's all, look, I know this is the top of we had to talk about, because, you know, we are a basketball show. And it's sad because we like Luca. We like Luca, right? We think he's a great basketball player, probably the future of the game, one of them. And still don't give a shit. Not even Luca dropping 30 pieces, hitting 25 footers,

just not entertained, not impressed, just looking at the clock, hoping the seconds go by, like when I was playing, sitting on the end of the bench. Just get this game over with, oh, damn, it's a national TV game. That means the timeout's going to be 30 seconds longer, fucking calculating in my head when I'm getting into tonight. I want to run through some of these comments that we got coming in.

James says Doc's feeling dangerous today, AK the legend says the Lakers must hire Doc to lift the Caruso curse. Doc Rivers crashing and burning is the best TV since he left the Clippers. Andy Dioza, John says, y'all stressing my boy John the fuck out tonight. Coach Kay would get Austin Reeves to an old-star game. Who said this? Who said that?

Rishi, that's a great comment. Someone said, would you rather coach Cal or Rick Petino? Or Tom said that. Shut up to Tom. Would you rather coach Cal or Rick Petino? Probably Patino. He's bounced that grimy shit. You know, you know, Patino into that grimy.

He could do whatever. Patino in L.A. could be dangerous. A.K. says he doesn't. think Lucas Cogetoy's who is the series either

what was that? Latino to have his dick all in the spaghetti sauce y'all got to you have to

you're going to with a pizza hot for at she's going to wild out of that please you don't know

no no no no no no no no no no no I've never did that

in my what? Do you want to do you want to this one? Yeah he boned a chick at an Italian

restaurant and the chick said it last it about like like 30 seconds and in court and the court people ask them

oh wait would you say that it's about right like 30 seconds like yeah that's about right he that man admitted in the court of all he fucked for like 30 seconds in an Italian joint yeah it's document I'm not here to judge I am not here to judge

there's a lot of people watching the show and all got that level of a stroke game they're 20s that did Tony seven seconds you're like according according to Petino's testimony, quote, the sex lasted 15 seconds and was unfortunate. 15.

Bro. Yeah, I did it. 15. I'm unfortunate. No. You got to try to do it. To nut that quick, though. Like, you got to try to.

Now, correct me, if I'm wrong, he still kept his job after this stuff came out. He, like, managed to hold down the job, but only got fired when the Adidas bag drop stuff came about. Yeah. So, like, the people who were like, fuck it. we don't care. He's a two-pump chump, but he's our two-pump chums.

You got a fire game because it's stroke game, man, what the fuck they got to do with that? There were other, there were other less funny, there were other less funny details associated with the story, which is why they were in court,

obviously. But, uh, yes, my grandpa's looking down on me furious that I'm slandering an Italian coach with you guys right now. He can't. It's a spicy meatball.

Don't, don't get me a coach you can't fuck. Bill went to that way And was knocking Jeannie down And that motherfucker got five reins out of that shit Don't give me a coach You cannot fuck Because that reflects poorly

On other aspects Of how you had to shit Tyler pulls and shit out So can you fuck Do you fuck? Let's talk about it Sir It's got to be an eight minute minimum

And I need three personal references Jesus. Oh, holy shit. Someone said seven seconds or less, it's different. Bro, how is that thing? How much is that thing got to be thinking for you to be in there for 15 seconds? You know what I'm saying?

Not even that much if we're being real. Just a pen right situation. We all in our younger lives, whatever. Everybody had that, they had that Peter North Strug, your stroke, was not that level. You are not struck you like that. Sheesh.

We haven't podcasted since the grizzar the last grid. Can I read one more comment before? I'm sorry, Mike. Someone said Mike Tariko is appalled with this. Andy Davis said that. Don't fucking get a start. No, Mike.

Please don't do this. Y'all are gentlemen. I don't know what you are talking about. I've got nothing to do with this Mike Tarika. I'm a fan. Give me a bag. How's Andy? Shout up to Andy for that one.

Sorry, go ahead, Mike. Okay, okay. We haven't done a show. Give me a coach that fucks. That is... You said what? Give me a coach that fucks. He's dead serious, too.

He's not smiling at all. He's not smiling at all. He's dead serious. Hey, it legit speaks a lot to your fucking people skills, though. Right? You're talking, right? If you're popular with the ladies, you're getting buying.

Am I not right? You know, who is that coach? Was that Bear Bryant that wouldn't? Yeah, who said he wanted to see his assistant wives when they were in the view? If your mouthpiece wasn't, you know what I'm saying? Right. You've got a bad mouthpiece. I could have you on it because I know your recruiting guy,

probably trashed, you know what I'm saying? Yep. There's a, he said it was about self-confidence. He said if they're with a woman who wasn't attractive, he felt like they didn't have self-confidence. All this is reminding me of his. that magic interview where he just goes off about how he had to smash the chick in the office.

They're just a look about it. They're just, they're just a laugh. But you're magic Johnson, well. Everybody got a fantasy. And she was probably working back in the day, though. She was probably working. She's probably, you know, like Nancy Reagan on the studio lot.

No. This show took a turn. This podcast is on the fucking rails already. We've only been on here for like 20 minutes too. After dark. We haven't done a show. The playoffs are here and you can make every game feel like game seven on Fandul's Sportsbook, an official partner of the NBA.

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Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fandul.com. Gambling problem called 1-800 gambler I haven't done a show with you guys since the Grizzlies Wolves game And I had to talk about a great game I love that series But I had to talk about Kat and his post-game interview Did you guys see the clip?

He actively drops his voice an octave And then starts quoting Kobe It's honestly is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on television It's cringe Oh you're really out here We're really out here trying to get the Yeah

No, no. No, no. No. You're not done, you know, you see I'm not really celebrating. Jobs not done. But you're ever, like, had to handle, like, some internet or some cable shit for, like, your parents and, like, that's who's the bill, who's the name is the villain? It's like your dad, and they're like, okay, we need to stick to him before we get a procedure, and you're just, like, switch your bunch. Oh, yeah, this is me.

Check, check did that in front of the world, bro. He didn't that in front of every fucking match he won't fade on the planet. I can not imagine. I don't know if y'all saw the little meme, Lake show you all put up the one kid who had the high-pitched voice in the fight. He's like, y'all think I'm a bitch out here? Though, the greatest tweet was he needs to find himself.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, it's Rah, Rai, ain't you. He sounded like the old hair from a 1972 after a school special. Orn't Rih Rang Choo. You need to find yourself, young blood. Yeah, Kat, Kat, Kat, need to find himself. All this Rah talk.

That was real fucking funny. That's a fact though. That's a fact though. You can't tell me jobs not done after celebrating on the scores table after winning a playing game. I don't want to hear jobs not done after that, all right? You in Minnesota. That man's girl came out in the stands like he knocked out of Apollo Creed and made out with that motherfucker for a playing game. I'm like, look, like I have always said, celebrate that over the fuck you up.

That shit was wild. They enjoyed the fuck out of that. She was staring at his eyes like, you know, you're my hero. You know what I mean? In fairness, the cat, that job was done. You know what I mean? They made the playoffs. Maybe they're into Mario Brothers too.

You know what I mean? Princess. Thank you, Mario. Fuck out of you, man. The princess is in another castle. Right. All right, let's talk about John Morant winning most improved player

What's the criteria for most improved player? Do we have a bullet point list of what the criteria is? More, you're the number two pick. You're supposed to be improved. If you've been talked about as a few He gave it away. He gave it away, bro. He was like, here, Bubba.

He re-gifted an NBA award. He was like, in the same night. Bro, if you're an MVP talks, don't, come on, bro. Like, there should be a minimum amount of like, you can't be averaging 28 a game and most improved. That's disrespectful at that point. You know what I mean? You didn't even take the shit out of the box instead of Desmond have you. I didn't even take the, I don't even want to see what this motherfucker would like.

I feel, I feel like the most improved award is the, is low-key the, no, we thought you wasn't going to be shit. Right. And none of us don't think about job. We all thought he was going to be a ball. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I didn't even win this motherfucking. Your sorry ass proved yourself. We know she wasn't ever going to be shit.

You showed us, though. We all talked about it. We thought your house was going to be sorry as fuck. So, you know, there you go, bro. You're surprised. Yeah, it's supposed to be an award. It's supposed to be an award for going from shitty to okay. not from going from really good to really great.

Like it just... Or at least like okay to great. You know what I mean? Like, you know, this dude's been... When we looked at Jai and not thought he was a hooper? And we all knew he was going to take a big step after last year's playoffs. You feel me? Like, we all saw this coming.

So it's just... It's really weird. Like, John Morant, most improved player, doesn't make any sense. All right, we just saw him bust step's ass for a bunch of tickets to the playoffs last year. We've been new this was coming. It was a fucking, you know, yeah. I guess they had to give them something.

They couldn't give them MVP, so they had to give them something, but don't make no sense to me. I want to know, I want to review from Tyler and Joe especially on Braun's Twitter performance during these playoffs. Is it performance art? Is he doing this intentionally? Is he just? Magic Johnson-esque.

LeBron's out in the mouth, Dissending Coves of the League of who. he wants to lose with fake praise Yeah, that shit is He has just been, wow, it's been phenomenal about how he's been the kiss of death for whoever he praises. You know what I mean? Like, I've never seen anything quite like it, but

you know, but you know you don't give a fuck. You know he's in a mighty right now, lit on Los Lobos, dancing for Savannah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, damn, that backfired didn't age well, I don't give a shit, I'm rich. What the fuck are you all talking about? Only people, all this age poorly is it broke people.

You've never seen a rich person like, oh, this age poorly. Yeah, motherfuckers take wrong with this age poorly while he's fucking sipping on 72-year-old wine. Like, you know what I'm saying? We're talking about shit aging poorly with this lucky guy. Yeah. Yeah, come on. He doesn't give a shit, man. I mean, nor should he.

He and Coos are trying to get a, they're trying to get a podcast together via Zoom. Like, it's his vacation project. He's like, who's running the Zoom? Who's sending the link out? Who's sending the link though? He's talking to Kuz about doing like a manning cast but for the NBA. Like he was just on the timeline going back and forth with Kuzz like, but if we did eyeball emoji, eyeball emoji.

Is he getting a Yenny or a sure, Mike? That man's a lot of tail without basketball. He about to start a podcast? What the fuck, dog? You know what I mean? Bro, just enjoy the free time. You're in the Maldives. You're in the malleeves.

Ball D. You're talking about a fucking podcast. I swear to God, bro. You're the only doing them all these with internet. You already know. With the reliable Wi-Fi. Do we have any other good YouTube comments, Zach, before we move into our last non-masculatured topic?

About Kat, someone said beating mediocrity is a hell of a drug. Shout out to Jordan on that one. AJ said, Bain has no neck. someone said Jordan pool should have been nominated Someone just randomly calling Bain a Ninja Turtle on the fucking YouTube comments I'm gonna go ahead

No net Oh AJ shout up to AJ Mark Jackson Some were shaking his head respectfully about I think about pool Or I don't know if it's If that's about Andy

I'm not sure which one he means But Yeah you can keep it moving We'll see I mean The comments when we were going through the patino section where yeah all right okay

I appreciate it I appreciate you Zach okay our audiences on board all right okay all right noted so obvious so this was a terrible day for fans of things that I hate because it was the Celtics fans happy at night and it was Elon Musk fans happy in the

morning he is moving forward with buying Twitter we have half of the people that I enjoy following on Twitter on this stream right now So what do you guys think? Are we moving somewhere else? What's the move?

I don't think we'll go anywhere until Elon transpone some bullshit. I told you like, oh, I'm here to authenticate every human. I like the way that shit sounds. Yeah, it sounded a little weird. Yeah, I'm not fucking posting my ID to, if I need to fucking, you know, tweet or whatever, fuck, whatever the fuck that opening the shit means.

But we'll see, we'll see. There's a major play out here. There's a major play here, and I'm not exactly sure what it is. but I know some diabolical shit know on this muffled so we'll see look he's trying to self-test loss fuck you that nigga dog

fuck you're like fuck Eli man your Twitter guys are going to be going tomorrow he's all right yeah while we still here

we still got this time to reflect and enjoy it I just want to say I really appreciate y'all y'all help me get through some tough times don't know how much is going to last because you already know

he's coming in trying to fuck you know but all he wanted is the data at the end of the day, he just wanted everybody's information. That's all he wants. Figure out a way to sell him some Teslas. You already know, like, everybody on this motherfucking show going to have a Tesla soon against our will. Just had to felt the need to buy one.

But I don't know, man. I thought, like, it was a joke at first. Like, and I obviously kept going on. And then he made that crazy offer. And I'm like, damn, what's going to happen? Then literally, you motherfucker's the boss now. So, you know, I ain't calling no grown man delicious, though. I'll tell you that much.

So there were, there are two things that were interesting to me. One, he made a clear point to make it $4.20 cents, $54.20. There is speculation that he threw the extra 20 cents in or some amount to get it to a round 20 cents, which like if he threw 20 extra cents in on every share, it's like $150 million that he ran up. I tweet that today. The other thing is he doesn't have cash on hand. So he'd use Tesla stock to pay for this. So there are motherfuckers trying to figure out how they can crash Tesla stock to try to bring down the whole empire on top of him. So people right now are actively trying to figure out how they can position the stock

to drive it down to force him to lose controllable Twitter. Get into a Tesla for 10 seconds and watch something fucking break. It shouldn't be that hard to crash a stop. I don't understand that entire. I don't understand the entire. As someone who know a lot of people who own Teslas and very few of them, like it's cognitive dissonance. They pay so much for the car.

I apologize. Does someone here own a Tesla? No. Cool. Charles does. I would never give you. The producer does. What if you buy?

Charles was the one who was telling us that to use the features, they'd hit you up for the subscription fee, too, which is fucking crazy. We got to use the Twitter stock to buy a Tesla. The steering wheel came off the car when you fucking got the car, bro. Oh, my. What the fuck? The steering wheel came off that? The steering wheel pulled out of the fucking socket.

Did the steering wheels have a socket? I didn't know. I didn't know previously. Jesus Christ. Did you have any family members that used to use the club? That shit used to crack a guy. Hell yes. Why I don't want to steal it.

I'm just going to steal it. I think every aunt had a club, bro. You know what I mean? My grandma and grandpa had a club. No, nobody wants this piece of shit. You got a broke-ass car. You're worried about a fucking club. You better get a new whip.

Anybody trying to steal a head? My parents had a club on the 90. What was the shittiest car you could think of with the club? My grandparents had a 92 Honda accord and had a club on it in 2005. Bro, my eye had on a Saturn and she had 10-inch rims that she had bought at fucking Walmart, bro. And put a club on that shit. They don't even make Saturn's no more. You know what I mean?

Where the fucking last time you've seen is Saturn? She's like, I'm going to keep this thing safe. But on Saturn? I can't believe they even existed. Sheesh. Well, the thing is, they don't still like flashy cars. They're still a Ferrari car. cars and Lamble. They still shit that they can scrap for parts.

Honda is in the courts actually got stole all the time for the yeah for the converter and all that shit yeah like I think I see I remember seeing like the camera is the most stolen car in America because every fucking body has a camera you know what I mean so they still let shit and strip it down for parts so at my uh am I at my orientation at Long Beach State the cut they had a cop come in to talk to us a campus cop and he literally said raise your hand if you own a Honda and like you know is a college is a cheap college to like a quarter of the room raise their hands and he literally just said, I'm sorry.

He's like, we can do it and stop them from stealing your Honda. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. I love Honest. Great cards, great car. We all have mixed feelings about the police, but literally I got got San Francisco last year, like smashing grab and talked to the cops. Like, my first, like 40 of these a day

in all the different precincts. Like, what do you think we're going to do about this shit? Be inspector gadgeting trying to solve these crime for your $30. I'm like just dusting for finger, putting the glass together to get the, a partial print off of it. I'm supposed to shoot somebody for your luggage. Like, no. I got to go to jail

for your fucking luggage. And I was like, damn, duh, that's the first time a police officer ever said some shit. I'm like, damn, it makes sense. I can't behave. When I was in middle school, a teacher at our middle school got on pit my ride. That car lasted, I'm not joking,

two and a half months before it got shop-shoped and the nine TVs that exhibit put in the car got ripped out. Car was down with nothing left inside of. it. Much worse than before it went. Two and a half months is a long

time to keep. Those cars got fucking flip quick. Because it was like, hey, there's free electronics in this bitch, dude. That motherfucker was driving a car

with nine holes on the interior, right? Nine TV size holes. And the fucking, hell no, I've been mad as fuck. What did that teacher teach

driving to school with that car, bro? Giamma. Jiamma. I know. Jiamma. No. I know she's like science. I know she's a good. Yeah, yeah. It was like, yeah, it was, it was, I was either English or was a math teacher. I can't remember though. I didn't have her. But I just remember hearing that she got on Pimp My Ride, seeing the episode and going like, hey, where's the car? And so it was like, oh, it got chopped, shopped already. Should we know how much you like TVs? So we put some TVs on your TVs or your TV. They really need to do a documentary on that shit, though. What happened to all those cars? You can't be driving in them neighborhood. If you had that whip that needed to be pimped and you take that back.

to your community. You're not a celebrity or you're not celebrating. It's like, oh, I'm a motherfucker got an Xbox in there. We're getting his ass. He got 30 games in there. Joe's got a rare shark in his car. I much y'all make a shark go for. I don't know how much I make a dogfish shark go for on the motherfucking black market.

Hey, I'll come off some red for sharks. I'll take you to Cambodian town. We're flip a shark right now. You know how much those fucking men to go for it, You know how to steal a car with a club on it? Absolutely not. It's the easiest shit ever. You'd see a dude would take like hedge clippers, smash the fucking window, cut the steering wheel in the two spots around the club, pop the club off, fucking gone.

Huh. Yeah. The steering wheel was the week. Damn, Mike. The steering wheel was the weak link. You sound a little too familiar with this. Right. Too uncomfortable.

You know what I said? Mike, can you say that a little closer to the microphone, please? I heard that steering wheels are very easy to cut. So while your grandparents

will be going, oh, this is crazy. It's a fucking thing. Well, first of all, if they smash the window, you could still turn the steering wheel. Second of all, the steering wheel is made a fucking rubber.

Anyway, I think that's all. Next time on Jenkins and Jones are out of pocket. We'll talk about how to steal diapers from Target. But I believe that's the long time we have. You got any more comments, Zach? Yeah, I got to find it. It was a real fucking gem of a comment. Oh,

here it is. This one's from Ferg. He said, Patino is the Doc Rivers of Stroke game. That was my favorite comment. The entire night. I'm sorry. I had to go out on that. There's so many good ones. My phone are costing opportunities, bags. I just want to say, first or foremost, I don't participate any of

this slander just kidding when's Doc going to stop growing hair what's on Doc's head right now that the barber like how does the barber cut his hair is that shit

I just been I'm really just trying to figure out what's going on with Doc Lain but no hair like he's bawling but he has a line it's a special situation

up there gee I want to touch that shit one day just be like is there follicles like what's going on that's about it we appreciate you

Rock or easy this is a blast guys as always bye yi bye yin Bye, aye, Yay!