The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins and Jonez - Solomon Missouri Is Your Favorite Pastor

Episode Date: March 18, 2023

The guys are joined by pastor Solomon Missouri to discuss his famous Twitter thread, what makes him unique as a pastor, and answer fan questions. Check out more of his work at solomonmissouri.com. #Volume #HerdSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The volume. It's Jenkins and Jones, presented by Fandul. The NBA season is kicking into gear, and there's no better place to get in on the action than Fandul. The app is safe, secure, and easy to use. Fanduel has exclusive offers, boosts, and more all month long. When you win, you'll get paid fast. Fanduel has lots of ways to play, like the spread, money line, over unders, team totals, player props, and so much more. Jump into the action at any time during the game with live betting,

and combine multiple bets from the same game in a same game. game parlay and try out same game parlay plus so download the fan duel app today start making every moment more disclaimer must be 21 and over in select states gambling problem call 1 800 gambler or visit fanduel dot com slash r g all right we're excited to welcome on for this episode of jenkins and jones and friends a guy i think everyone feels like they're friends with on twitter solomon missouri the pastor himself uh solomon thanks for hopping on man we really appreciate you thank you all for having me. So we have we have to open up. You already know we have to open up with the legendary Twitter thread, which I would actually put like if there was like a museum for like the

greatest works of art in human history, you'd have like Michelangelo's David, some painting by Da Vinci and that thread would have to be in there, bro. Just please for those who do, I mean, I know everyone's seen our, our dramatic reading of it. I know everyone's seen the Twitter thread. But can you just put us in? Was there like was the light shining on you for? above what was that moment like when you were firing that thing off bro man no I was in pizza hut real one yeah I was like eating a personal pan pizza and like I said it was like Dale Curry about to get divorced like Del Curry you're about to get divorced like Del Curry you're like maybe getting divorced that's like the last thing you need to do like if you're going to do

if you don't get divorce man this ain't for you and so I'm like eating like random slices like personal pad pieces and drinking like Pepsi and stuff or whatever and I'm like this man is having the worst moment of his life in public and the killer part about it was it was like a gospel Christian station that I saw the

like the breakup from or whatever and I was like man I just need to like be in prayer for dude because but he's about to go through it and so I was like man I don't know if you're going to see this or if you ain't going to see this or whatever but if you do see this man I just need to like

man, warn you now. Like, this ain't for you. You're not, you're not that guy. Del Curry? Like, I can understand that maybe this is like, you know, somebody, you know, like, mooky waylock or, you know, like, I don't know, Mugsy Bowles or Alonzo morning, like, oh, yeah. You know, I was on that Charlotte team.

And, you know, like, I'm going to leave now. Everybody know me. Del Curry, you are just, like, okay from the, you know, from the arc. I mean, you are not a person that we, the West, we know you because of your son. Right.

We know Seth Curry more than we know Dale Curry. And so I was like, man, it's going to be like a really, you know, an interesting time for you out here in these streets that like tapping on 60. Bro, I legit, no exaggeration of how perfectly, I think that is the single greatest threat

in Twitter history. I think this nigga eating beans is the single greatest tweet. For sure. Yeah. That is the single greatest thread. Like, as someone myself who has, you know, tweeted out, you know, classical viral shit. Did you know you had something special by

like the fourth or fifth tweet in? Because that's usually when it kind of is easy. No, as y'all can see, like, I kind of tweet like that anyway. It's all a bit of madness and a bit of, like, whimsy and a pinch

of humor and a pinch of, like, motherwit, as my, my dad would call it. I mean, it's all in the gumbo together with. whatever. So I don't really care if they go viral or not. I mean, I've been literally tweeting like that for a decade. Right. Right, right. Yeah, that's the thing. Like people will fucking, you know, hit you up and be like, oh, you're just trying to go viral. Bro, we've been on this shit for like 15 years and go viral sucks. I promise you that is not the goal when we are getting these tweets off, dog. Like, once you hit 100, a K with like a thread or with a tweet, it's not no money that comes with it. It's just attention.

and annoyance. A bunch of weirdos. Right, right, right, right. Did you, I mean, was there like, did you enjoy it? I mean, people obviously had a lot of fun with it. Or when you saw people, when you saw like our video doing it, do you at some point be like, how many people are making money off this funny thing? I posted like it.

Like, was that fun for you or was it annoying at some point? It's only annoying when it, like, leaves a certain neighborhood. Mm-hmm. Like, right. When it, when it, like, leaves your audience and leaves. leaves the people that you know and like lead and like it's and it's misconstrued and people like take things um entirely in a way that can be perceived sociologically versus uh with humor right versus with with with with the wit that it was like constructed with that's when it becomes annoying because

I'm like I'm what I'm not going to do is let you misconstrue my words and my ideas I know what I'm doing I don't know you and I don't know what you're doing but I know what I'm doing. Right. How much of it have you experienced, bro? There was a lot of examples of why that man, you know what I'm saying, to stay with the woman of his youth, you know what I'm saying? You come about like, how much of the dating situation like that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every single thing, all of it, all of them. To long, you know, they're trying to, they're trying to bick you. They're trying to bick you out here, dog. If you're out here, you're going to run into some people who have, like, different preferences. and like different expressions of desire and all that kind of good stuff or whatever and like it's cool because like you with everything

until you're not with everything. Right. You're really not with everything. So you like, you think you wanted them ones, but then she'd be like, no, I really wanted them ones and then you discover you're not really one. That's what we come to a bit of an impasse there.

Exactly. We need to stop. Do you know if Del or Steph or the Curry's got wind of that. Has anything come back to you on that end? No, thank goodness. Because, you know, I'm in North Carolina. Ah, you're doing, right? And I would hate to have to try to fight one of them fish for lake flavored people. So I don't want no smoke from the curries, none of that. It's all in good jokes. I pray for you daily home boy. I want you to get all the reins that you can

get. I hope that you and your family come back together because I see who you're dating now and it's not, where is that? So, yeah. I would chat. Okay, let me, I'll break a little news to you. that Seth has seen it and thought it was funny. Okay, cool. I could pass that on to you. And I don't know about the rest of the family, but knowing a little bit about the curries, I think that that would be received in good humor, at least by the

boys, which, as you have noted, that's all you really got to worry about anyway. That's all I'm worried about. That's all I'm worried about. I just want you all to have a little joky joke. Laugh a little bit because your daddy out here in these streets now. And then, you know, let's keep it moving, have a happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, I mean, ain't nothing funnier than your pop's trying to be cool.

like every son has seen their dad go through that stage. And bro, it is, it is, it's, if it, if it, if it's not hilarious, it's sad. And this was hilarious, you know. Yeah, it was, it's, there is a form of humor in that bit of tragedy. Because it's, I mean, at the, at the end of the day, like, it is heartbreaking, right? Like, that's your family, you know, that's, that's the people who raise you and people who love you and people who taught you how to love. And so, like, you don't want to see them unhappy.

But you also don't want to, like, see them broken up either. So like I get both sides of the argument, but man, if you're going to be out here at the game. And skinny jeans, nigga. Yeah. You know what I mean? A big belt buckle. No. Yeah, yeah.

None of that. Well, I do, I do feel like, you know, we want to get to know you a little bit. And then I know we did a little mailbag. So we've got, Tyler's got some questions for you from readers who want genuine advice. But we just want to get to know you a little better because you are one of our favorite people on Twitter. And I feel like having followed you for a while. while, that Twitter thread was kind of representative of who it seems to me like you are and that it was funny, but it also did genuinely come from a place of love and compassion. The sympathy for

that man really comes through on the thread. That kind of seems to be who you are on Twitter. Like, you're like us, you're funny, you like having fun, but you could tell that there's a thought process and kind of a heart behind what you're doing. So does that come from being a pastor? like, like, you know, what sort of your background in terms of having that kind of approach on an app where obviously some people just go on and tweet pictures of poop or whatever, right? Like there's all different kinds of people on Twitter. So how did you kind of arrive at being who you are through the course of your life? I think that one of the things that I try to reinforce in my persona. And, you know, to be honest with you, there are aspects

of like Twitter space that is a persona, right? Because they don't, don't get to know all of me. And, you know, there's only people who are in my life and who I choose to allow them to share that space emotionally that gets to know all of me. But we share some space and we share some context. One of the things that I am intentional about doing is being pastoral. So that is being a vector or a space for care, concern, consideration, and compassion. But not being a space of condemnation.

not need that, right? People don't need that. And the relationships that we have with people who are pastory, preachery, churchy is a place of, well, they're cool up until a point. And people are always kind of watchful or worrisome about where that place is. Where is the place that it's going to be the point of condemnation or contention or where you're going to say, I have been like this is where you're going to criticize me or critique me. Here's my spot. Yeah, that's not my purpose here. My purpose is to make sure that you have a space where you can be and know that there are

individuals who I don't have to know you. I don't have to like see you on the streets or whatever. But in real and intentional ways, I am concerned about you. I hope that you're doing well. I hope that you are flourishing. I hope that you are finding your way in the madness of it all. I hope that you are seen, felt, and heard. And so I try to emphasize the ways that my faith, which is a hope, right?

My faith is a hope. It's not a set of regulations. It's not a set of rules. My faith is a hope for humanity. The ways that my hope can be expressed to people that I come in contact with. And I come in contact with, like, a lot of y'all on Twitter. So that's what I do. I might still be in search if I had a pastor like you do.

You know what I'm saying? Like your approach is extremely abnormal. You know what I'm saying? So you're calling. You know, especially in the Bible Belt. You feel what I'm saying? Like what inspired that? I can read.

My dick. Yeah. Reading is like very helpful. Concerning like not presenting and not occupying an intellectual space that is full of regressiveness. bigotry, hatred, and a anti-intellectual bent. And so it is possible for me to occupy spaces where I can hope for the divine and hope for the divine in my fellow human, but also occupy a space where I believe in the divine revealing itself in different ways through different people that don't share my understanding and don't share my experiences. So I can have a, as they say, belief in God, but not have a belief in bigotry. So I'm a vivid reader.

I'm reading like all of this right now. I am a person who likes to engage. I like to be the dumbest person in the room for the smart people. I want to be in that space where I am building with folks intellectually. And for some preachers, that's not their thing. they got the Bible and that's it. This is good for them. And I'm like, that's not good for me because, right, we can't allow our prejudice and a

particularly screwed reading of a book that's thousands of years old to dictate how humans are going to be forever. That's just not the way that humanity works. Have you received any any hate it all? Like being that you approach it in a different way? Have you seen any like blowback? And how do you deal with that if you have? Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, people tell me all the time. I'm not a good Christian. I'm a worker of

iniquity, as I was told on last Thursday. Really? Is this impersonal or is this on Twitter? Emails. Like, emails, people come to my church. Yeah, yeah. People like run up on me. Just, you know, just if they see me in there like, you look familiar, whatever. If you go one or two ways, it could be like, oh, man, you awesome. Or it could be like, oh, man, you know, you. leading people astray i've been known to lead people astray i'm like well i never wanted you to follow me that's there is where i where would you like me to lead you to right right right right so yeah i get all kind of pushback uh but anytime that you're asking people to do something beyond their bigotries and beyond their biases mm-hmm there's always going to be some pushback right so especially for me who's, I am a southern guy.

Like, being in North Carolina is as far north as I'm going, this is it. I respect it, dog. I can't do it. I don't do the cold. I got this vest off, but I swear it's like 70 degrees today. I'm just, I'm just not a, like. Wherever they take the sugar out to sweet tea, you ain't fucking with it,

bro. I can't do it. Like, I went to Virginia like two times, and I was like, now, this is not for me. The energy change, the soon as I passed over the state line, I was like, this ain't what I'm trying to, you know, be at. And so, but I also understand that there is a particular strain of anti-intellectualism and and um and reading of the bible and the books within the Bible that lends towards a um an ignorance and a like sustained ignorance

like you're dumb but you want to stay dumb yeah and and that's that's not what i'm actually attempting to do. I like, I want people who think of themselves is like faithful to be well read and to be like curious, like to be curious because think about it. Faith is the premise that there is something beyond what you can know and what you can see. There is an inherent curiosity in the idea of faith itself. So why are the people who think of themselves as having faith, not curious? Well, come in. Why do you personally think, you know, as a man? You know, as a man, of the cloth. Why do you think that so many people

lean into religion to justify their bigotry? It's a safe space. It also secures and certifies power. It justifies our abuses. It tells us that we are right

and makes other people wrong. It others and then when and by the the function of othering, it also occupies our little club, our little click, it makes us the good ones and others the bad ones. For example, I mean, you hear

about people all the time like, oh, you know, the drag brunch or the drag show or like the drag queens doing like the reading of, you know, like kids, books at the school or whatever. And you're like thinking, oh man, that's so awful. You know, they shouldn't the drag queen shouldn't be doing it this and the third.

But like, think, no, but actually think about it. The number of pastors that have been accused of sexually assaulting children abusing children, abusing their position, abusing or sexually assaulting women, like it's in astronomical numbers, right? Even if you're just looking at one denomination

of Southern Baptist Church, they had over 600 ministers who were accused of sexually assaulting, like, women and children. And you're thinking, man, out of all of them 600 people, not one of those drag queen. Out of all them people who they were talking about are so dangerous for children to see,

and so dangerous for children to be in contact with, all of them were people who wear the cloth, wear suits, are supposed to be respected members of the community, our teachers, our lawyers, our doctors, our preachers. They are not the individuals that are painted to be the dangers to society. And my question is,

could it be possible that because we have painted people who have queer identities as enemies to family, as enemies to children, as enemies to like the nuclear conceptions of what we should be have we made ourselves vulnerable

to people who are actually predators in our community like from a realistic standpoint we don't have any kind of equipment to protect ourselves and protect our ideas because we're so bigoted it's actually being anti-intellectual

is a danger I've got a I mean first of all I'm so glad we had you on the show because the three of us love talking about shit like this. Right up by this. This is great.

The Twitter thread was great, but I'm like really excited to talk about this. I have a question for you and if you'll bear with me. I need to share like a minute or two about my wife and I to sort of arrive at why I would ask a question. So my wife is racially mixed, but she's basically half Japanese and half black. And she grew up in what I would say is she grew up Presbyterian, very active in the church. Her dad was like, her dad's Japanese, Okinawa. from Hawaii and was like a very important senior person in his church helped to hire people.

But it was basically a very progressive Japanese Presbyterian church. And on the black side of her family, a lot of Seventh-day Adventists, very conservative about, about LGBTQ issues, everything else. But my wife is like very progressive. She's exactly who you're describing you would hope Christians would be. She was a religious studies major at UCLA. She went, she literally was like, I just want to learn more about how people think of these issues because she thinks about them a lot. And I would always ask her, I grew up in a family of sort of defected Catholics for some of the reasons that you describe. Like, if I'm going to this church and now I know that this priest was doing this stuff,

well, what's the point, right? And so my question to her that was basically passed down, I guess through my parents, was always, what is the value of being contained in this word Christian? With all these people, like she feels exactly as you described about being frustrated about the bigotry and stuff that people out of convenience would attach to the name Christianity. And I would always say, well, doesn't that bother you? You know, like, why would you want to put that word on yourself if you see evangelical white Christians doing all this stuff, right?

And she, you know, I mean, basically, it's not like there's no right or wrong answer on either side of it, obviously. That was always kind of the question I had for her. and her answer was basically that being within that sort of umbrella, she didn't feel associated with those people because of the word. But I'm kind of curious for you as a pastor for your thoughts on that, because you clearly do see yourself as standing apart from these other negative strains of how people would use a shared faith that they might have with you. So is that something that bothers you? Is that something that you think about, I guess, morally as opposed to just sort of like the actions that you're taking? I'm just curious for your thoughts on that.

Yeah, so let me give you three things. One, grateful for your journey and grateful for your wife's journey. That's important to acknowledge that we are all having these conversations because people discount that. I'm actually still occupying the space known as church because I believe in hope. and I believe that in many cases, church spaces can be a place or a vector of intentional good. Now, that does not disqualify or negate the real harm that churches have done and allowed to be done because they thought they were saving themselves by not actually calling out and calling people to be accountable for their harm. That does not negate that. That does not disqualify that. That does not erase that. Who, I am in pursuit of the integrated or the Socratic space that Jesus, the Christ occupied.

And that's theocratic space, that questioning space, is how do institutions that have retained power serve the market? There's a question of the gospel, and that question of the gospel is, what do we do with the least of these? Do we ignore them? Do we overlook them? Or do we bring the margins to the middle? The only place where I see that question as the engine of their actions and purposes is the church. It's not evident in our businesses. It's not evident in our governments. It's not evident in our social organizations. The only place where I see the question of,

how do we make the marginalize the middle is the church. And so then it's a question of power. Third name. How do we democratize power so that it reprioritizes those who have been harmed into direct action, given direct action,

given a sense of direction and influence over resources, tangible resource. I'm not talking about like just being the head of something at a church. I'm talking about if you have a million dollars, the person who is affected the most is in charge of the vision

that we have for the tangible resources in order to say how this best, best effects and best serves the community. There is no other place that question should be. Now, it's not always because, I mean, listen, I understand that faith spaces have been a vector for political games and like politic and, you know, like foolishness.

I get it. But there's still that question, and that question still is compelled from the life, the action, the interactions, of the Christ of how it is that we serve the least of these. Man, that is the only reason why I'm here. At the point in time where we abandon that question, I'm going to do something else. I've always thought about starting a smokehouse in Bucksville, Alabama.

I'm going to go and smoke hog me and read Chaucer. Because that's all I really want to do. I'm just going to echo what John said, man, that if my interaction with religious leaders in my community have been more like the interaction we're having with you, I think I would have grown up feeling very differently about a lot of things. Yeah, sure. So I'm a bit interested in the journey. I know you were born and raised in Alabama. You're living in Durham now. Shouts to the Bull City. Like how was this something you always knew was your calling? Was there like a pivotal moment in your life that immersed you in your faith or? Okay. So I can talk about like I've been in ministry for over 22 years. years. So most of my life I've been doing this. I've been doing for the first decade of ministry,

I was probably the most intellectually inefficient and more resembling your average fire and brimstone preacher. more resembling, you know, your average, you got a little right-type preacher, you know, more resembling your average, pull yourself up by your bootstraps type politic for the first decade of ministry. I went to seminary. So always I was like gave my life to the Lord at seven, always, you know, wanted to be like a good type of dude or whatever. I took a class in seminary from a lady named Nancy DeClaise Wofford and she was an Old Testament theologian. She is an Old Testament theologian. She ain't dead. She's still in

like Atlanta. She's cool. And she like her specialty or her area of study is in the Psalms. She like writes about the Psalms, all that kind of good stuff. And she talks about like the emotional equipment of the psalmist, this school of writers called the psalmist. And she in class one day asked a question. And that question kind of like framed or reframed how I go about and how I occupy or deploy my thought concerning ministry.

And it was a really simple question. She was like, okay, what if the helpers that God has sent us are same gender loving? Now, we were in class. We were talking about, you know, the Bible and man and woman and all the kind of good stuff, whatever. She said, what if the helpers? And she went through the whole thing. She, on the board, she did the Hebrew, like, syllables and the phoneticism and all the kind of stuff and she said there was no gender to the word helper right helper and she said okay what if god

has purposed in creation that our helpers be same gender like you can you can have a strong helper that was the word in hebrew strong helper that was a man or strong helper that was a woman she said if that's a possibility that a person can be a strong can like be your strong helper, then it requires us to imagine the possibilities of the text in radically different ways. Now, some of you say, well, that ain't nothing. But if you're considering, like, from the outside end, the implications of the divine purposing this text in ways that are beyond simply the words that are on the paper like that's going to make you dig a little deeper

and she wanted us to dig a little deeper and to fight for it. Don't just allow your face to be something that is given to you and it was crammed down your throat. But he fight for it. Like go back and make sure this is something that you believe.

Make sure that you are deconstructed and make sure that you are purposefully with intent building it back. That was my deconest. that day in that class was my deconstruction. From that day on to this day right now, I am questioning the text. I am questioning goodness. I'm questioning kindness. I am questioning kindness. I am questioning everything. Because being a part of the sacronic community that Jesus was a barn of, which was questioning the purposes of the temple, purposes, and questioning the

purposes of those who are occupying the temple. Do you want to be seen? Do you want power? What do you want from this thing. Is this about acknowledgement? Is this about platform? Like, what is your work in the earth realm? Right? If you're coming from that aspect and vantage point, then you're more likely to say, wait, I need to reconsider

like how I'm using what I got. Do I want to build somebody else up? Is this all about me? Do I just want to be seen? Do I just want to be heard? Or do I want to make ways for other people to exist and be healthy and be whole? That's interesting because so many people like I remember being in the church where I was told not to question not to question you know what I mean and I'm coming back from college where I'm taught to question you know what I mean and I'm reading the Bible I read it twice and I'm thinking like this don't this ain't somebody shit ain't adding up based upon what I've been learning and what I'm thinking it's just you know I mean and it's just beautiful to hear you say that from in your position you know question you know I mean it's okay to question and you should question I don't not just that it's okay but you should question it's okay but you should question you know I'm

these things. I think that's important, man. You know what I mean? So I'm going to applause you on that for show, for show, G. Thank you. Did you ever have a moment where you kind of became, you know, jaded with your faith, with, with, with Christianity? Heck yeah. I'm jaded right now. I'm kind of like punchy.

Right? Like people, so I'm punchy. I'm punchy. And it's because I understand harm, right? One of the things that is difficult for a lot of Christians to understand is in this moment where we don't know what to actually be Christian about, what to be outraged about, what to be upset about, is because we have been armed with the wrong tools. Come on, man. Y'all really care what two other people do in their

bedroom? Really? Do you really care? You know what I mean? Come on, man. I mean, the only way that it affects you is if you're going to get up in there with, right? But we have been taught that this is some kind that we have a religious, socio-religious privilege to interject and affect the lives of others, the happiness of others, the well-being of others because of our religious bent. Man, that's not religious freedom. That's religious domination. So, yeah, I'm punchy, man.

I'd be upset all the time, but I don't care. They're going to hear this voice, man. I got this out of the mud. So, yeah. And again, this is the other reason. All right. So, like, all of those Christian voices that you hear, and, like, they feel as if they are under persecution,

and they're like, you know, the world doesn't like God and all that kind of good stuff. Man, they go back to church on Sunday. They're fine. They're okay. They have literally no. material effectiveness

by the actions that they've taken against others. Nothing happens, right? The lady who didn't want to make cake for gay people

like her life was fine, right? She went and made like 13,000 other heterosexual cakes, right?

It was not a problem. The lady who was like, who didn't want to do, I would just like that that lady's named Kim in Kentucky or something like that. Oh, wow lady, it looked like she

never been the supercuts and nothing. Like, she didn't do them, like, she said, I'm not going to do it like the marriage certificates or whatever. She went back to like, hitting spit Kentucky and like she was fine. Hid and spit. She was okay, right? They all go back to their communities of origin and they're fine. Nothing happens to them.

The material goods of their life are not affected in any way. But what happens? What about like trans kids who are struggling to be loved? and struggling to find care and like don't deserve to be bullied don't deserve to be harmed like they deserve to have a chance because we know that most trans people

don't make it towards like to 40 like that's that's a real number like we understand that like because they can't receive care because there are material realities that affect their mental health because we know that they're bullied

because we know that they're killed right there are material effects for these social ideas that are seen as religious ideas. But that's not a part of your gospel at all. So, nah, I'd be like, no, bud, you go back to those communities and nothing happens to you. You just want to be able to dominate other people. You want people to be subservient to you and subservient to your articulation and expression of the divine.

but there are real and serious ramifications when it comes to bigotry. Our Christians who deploy bigotry and who use the Bible as an expression of hate, there are real consequences to that. And so that's why I'm like, yeah, no, you're going to go ahead and get it from this end because I can't allow you to continue to harm people who suffer under you while you are creating this theater of oppression. I'm excited to get to these questions, Tyler. Like, genuinely, I mean, I thought when you brought it up,

when Tyler brought this up, I was like, oh, that's a cool idea. That'll be good content. But now I like, really, I really want your advice on the questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a good talk right here for sure. All right, well, let's just hop into it right now. And let's dig into the mailbag. All right.

First one is from the homie Silas. And it says, dear pastor, why are so many churches refusing to meet the spiritual needs of under 18 members. Why can't churches talk about evils that go beyond the Ten Commandments and extend to racism, corporate greed, and the environment? All right. So this is one that actually causes us to take into account the way that we, one, understand gospel. So understand what it is that Jesus is suggesting, advancing in creation. to the relationship that we have with the document known as the Bible itself.

Like, how are we using it? What choices are we making in deploying it? And then, three, the actual training and the ways that we are equipped to build healthy community. So I'm just going to go from healthy community at whole. One of the problems that we have when we talk about or think about the evils of society, Beyond, like, gender, beyond the way that gender has been co-opted to be a manifestation of the demonic, right? Beyond sexuality, beyond, like, women being the enemies of the church because they want to be in charge because of feminism, is that we don't and have not built healthy community that understands,

that environmental racism is a serious and real thing that has material consequences in the earth and people who are forced to live near landfills have higher rates of asthma, have higher rates of cancer, have higher rates of like just overall genetic and health risk, right? But then the other part about this is we think of these as eschatological aspirations. Eschatological that which is in the end. And so rather than thinking about

the material realities of folks down here who are going through hell, we position the ultimate question in the Christian community in context as, are you going to heaven or hell? I don't care about that. That ain't my business.

Your eternal destination, if you're going to have one or not, I don't know. It's not my business. I am a pastor. I'm a person who is concerned about your material realities on the ground. We are boots on the ground. Christians are boots on the ground. Are you okay today? Do you have enough to eat? Do you have somewhere to sleep?

Are you being cared for as far as your health is concerned? Like, Christians are boots on the ground, divine communicators of compassion. But because we have deferred or outsourced the reality, the material comfort to the question, of, are you going to heaven or hell? We say we don't have to deal with that. We don't have to deal with people being knowledgeable about their bodies, knowledgeable about consent,

knowledgeable about the ramifications of the implications of the justice system of all black and brown folks. So we say we don't have to be knowledgeable about that, concerned about that, careful about that, because if you can answer, yes, I'm going to heaven, because I believe in Jesus, then you're fine.

And my positioning is, we're not fine. If we create hells, we're not fine. If we create the conditions for people to have to live, position, operate, and exist as immoral just to get by, we're not fine. So if we live under the thumb of a capitalistic authoritarian system, we are not fine.

But that goes back to an ethic, right? Are you just hoping for people to go to heaven, or are you hoping for people to be whole? And so that's one of the reasons why we don't actually equip ourselves to talk to, talk to, talk to, directly to the issues that concern people under 18, like, you know, are you going to be able to, like, breathe the air in 10 years? Like, is, like, are, are you going to be able to afford a place to live next year? How do you pay back the loans that you got? Because we, we've deferred the question to heaven or hell. And the Bible says,

don't be so heavenly minded that you're of no earthly good. Oh, that's a bar. Damn. Something, you know, that's kind of an extension of that, you know, in regards to kind of the generational gaps there. I feel like our generation, my generation, you know, we grew up where our parents were heavily immersed in the church. Our grandparents were heavily immersed in the church. Our grandparents' parents were heavily immersed in the church. And I don't think our generation is. You know, my family is Southern Black Baptist.

I think that that is the root of who I am, of who my family is. I think that's more of a categorization of a culture because, you know, the church and Christianity is such a staple in our family, even though, you know, a lot of us aren't avid churchgoers. Like, none of my friends my age are avid churchgoers. None of my cousins my age are avid churchgoers. And I think it's because we got, we got deterred a bit by the hypocrisy. We got deterred by, you know, being so this notion of an all compassionate, all loving God who didn't like gay people, who didn't like women having children out of wedlock. You know, you know, church Christianity is supposed to be built around philanthropy. we're not seeing our church through any community outreach, but past is pulling up in a brand new bins.

I think my generation got jaded on shit like that and we steered away from the church. So I'm curious, you know, as to how you feel about that? How do you, do you think that is a legit problem where it seems that, especially in the black community, that Christianity and being avid churchgoers is something that's going to phase out with, with, you know, our generation and upcoming generations? Yeah, definitely church is on the decline. And I think that one of the problems that we have in the institutionalized church, and institutionalized church is simply a organized functional or structured church is because,

let me say this, there will always be people who are operating with ethic of community at heart. Somebody's always going to be the church, right? There's always somebody reaching out, always somebody opening up their doors, letting kids in, be like, hey, have y'all had something to eat today? Right. At the end of the day, it's always going to be somebody who's out there saying, hey, sis, You know, you ain't got enough to pay your light bill. Let me go ahead and cover you on that.

Whatever. It's always going to be somebody doing church, right? But it may not always be the institutionalized church. And for me, that's okay, right? Because I'm not called to go to church. I'm called to be church. That's an entirely different thing. A lot of what we do in, like, faith spaces is platform building and popularity building.

And we're doing a lot of stuff that, allows us to be seen as like prosperous and happy and whole as if this is as if I am living the lifestyle that you are aspiring

to and I can lead you to it. Let me go on here and help you do that. Everything I got on probably cost $24. I got this on Amazon for $12 and I got the pants for 16. I was happy as a pig and slot. Oh.

Because it's not like that. I don't need that. I need to be covered. Like I, and I, everybody wants to be fly, right? I,

I'm saving up to get me, you know, my first pair of Jordans. I want to be fly or whatever, but do I want to have every pair of Jordans? Do I need to have like, I got like my car. Do I need to have three more?

It ain't but one of me up in here. Right. I got a house. How many more houses do I need? if you got a chain okay cool you got a chain how many of them can you wear at the same time but then here's a better question for people like me

I'm prospering making myself well making myself prosperous off of the life's blood of the folks what am I leading them to if I'm leading them to the same thing that like

you know baby them leading them to then they can just go fall a baby because he's doing it better than I am like I ain't got nothing that you know I got like a Volvo like a head card what am I leading them to

everything in our world tells us that it's never enough like everything is about chasing the bag everything is about like getting more everybody want more and I get it I understand there's never a place that tells you that you have enough and that you are enough. You're never going to be happy because you're never going to have enough and you're never going to be enough.

One of the pressures that we have when it comes to finding intimacy and relationships and dating is that because we never come to a place where, you know, we say I am enough and I have enough. I'm always chasing something more. I always need somebody more. Nothing is filling that whole. I'm not satisfied with themselves. Man, these people get up on Sunday mornings, man. got like Burberry like stuff on and like

Bollyman stuff on and like I don't know how to say out of that stuff or whatever man I'm like that's wild because buddy what you're telling me is that you don't feel like you enough you feel like that you got the ball you feel like that you got to like just like be everything that

that's out there you you're not showing me that I'm cool I'm good I'm okay it doesn't matter what I have on like I can love in ways that are real and that are substantive and that are not showy and not for performance. So we're insecure.

Even in church, even in faith spaces, we want to be the cool spot. Man, now don't be the cool spot. Man, be the careful spot. Be the spot that's compassionate. Be the spot that's carry. Be the spot that says, man, you know, in order, and rather than have like a Burberry shirt, man, I had that little Target shirt on. It's $10, but I can go out here and

bless somebody and they'd be good. They'll be good. And I'm still fine. And we don't have those kind of spaces. This is because we're insecure. You spoke to the sustained ignorance, too. You know what I mean? And I feel like the world's changed so much in our lifetime more than probably all the three generations before ours. You know what I'm saying?

So it's important for the church to change in this generation, maybe more than it's been in the generations prior. And it has it. And like you said, it's that sustained ignorance. People just hold on to those same ideals. And like, we ain't going for it. You know what I'm saying? So I think you kind of spoke to it earlier. well we were talking about how people just want to say to say and believe in the same shit you know

what I mean from the generations prior and prior and prior and that was cool then but the world has changed 28 times in the 40 years I've been here you know what I'm saying but but one of the issues that we have like in face spaces is we are as you talk about you know doing the same thing over and over again is retaining a body of politics that is not in the best practices and best advantage for our people, right? So you talk about how we can be like socially or communally social, but like personally conservative. That's not in the best interest of our people,

but our faith spaces keep projecting and keep teaching and keep forming us to inhabit and embody and practice a body of politics that's harmful to like the soul of our people. And we just don't grow up and we don't grow out, right? We don't continue to equip ourselves with a body of knowledge. Man, the people that I look up to in ministry, man, those are like curious people. They got like congregations of 10 people,

but like the 10 people they got are all PhDs because they want to learn. Like they want to be in concert with people who are curious and people who are outstretched. They don't like just read. John Maxwell, white Christian do who writes about leadership. They don't just read John and Maxwell or whatever. They're reading about like everything. They're reading about like the body.

They're reading about biology. They are reading about quantum physics. Like they want to know. They don't understand half the stuff or whatever. They don't care. They just want to know. They want to be exposed to everything. And so the question that I have for our faith communities is not, you know,

can we just continue to perform? or practice or exhibit ways that we are the standard of success. Because people come to church and look like they're successful. They come to church and show on. But when can we begin to embody an ethic, a body of politics that shows up that we are curious, that we are careful, and that we are looking to help and be compassionate in creation? That's real. All right.

Next question. We are definitely switching lanes here. as the subject line is FNF, but I don't want to be for the listeners who might not be aware of that acronym, that means fuck naga free, shouts to Glorilla. So this is some romantic advice that is being solicited here from Dr. Love, Pastor Missouri here.

Okay, so hello, and the writer was Cat Jazz. Hello, big fan, long time listener, an OG follower from Twitter. Shouts to you, Kat. My question is, how do I get over getting ghosted by a nice guy? She puts a nice guy in parentheses, in quotes. We didn't have a disagreement or anything, but he hasn't responded to a text or reached out since we last talked.

A few days after we hooked up, he said he might be busy with work. He's an entrepreneur and has a demanding job. Besides coming to terms that my pussy might be trash, I'm having a hard time moving on, unlike with other guys that I know for sure weren't about anything. Any advice, help. Man, I read it like three times, man. So, like one, continue to say, you know, FNF, you know, as always, we want to move. A motto. Yeah.

Two, I'm sorry that, like, that happened to you and that you experienced that. Like, dating is extremely difficult and it's extremely rough. And so I don't want to disqualify, like, that pain and that expectation that you have because, one, any person that's out here dating is put their hope on, put their heart on their shoulder. If you date and your heart ain't on your shoulder,

you don't need to date. Go back in the house because you're just like, you're ready to be mean. You want some sex. Ain't wrong with that. But like if you're dating, if you're looking for some form of real connection,

your heart is out there. And I don't want to like laughing nobody for like putting their heart out there because that's real. And, you know, you want to be able to say that that matters. And it does matter. I don't know about, you know, your sex or whatever because, you know,

hopefully it ain't trash. But if it is, they got toys for that. They got, they got, they got things you can put it into the thing, the situation. We have technology. Yeah. I'm like, we have the technology. There's all kinds of stuff out there. But then the other part about that is this.

People do have. jobs. That can be a reality. That can be a true. But I hate when people, like, say that they're that busy. If you like know that, because you do all this work to meet somebody to know somebody and like to have sex with them, whatever, and they like, now I'm not going to call you no more. At least you can say it's not like that wasn't a good interaction. That wasn't a good engagement. You know, that's not something I'm looking for to do again. And that's just different. And that's difficult to hear. But at least you don't have questions.

And then sometimes people say, oh, she could have moved differently. But it ain't nothing that you could have moved differently if somebody was had like in ulterior motives the entire time. So don't even like double, you know, like question yourself or double guess yourself or whatever. You know, your heart's in the right place. You're looking for love.

That's cool. This ain't the one. Take the time that you need to get off the board. And stop blowing that man phone up. He don't need your calls. He don't need your text or whatever. Don't put your energy in that. Go to a boxing class and beat up on somebody who would let you spar with them for a little while and put that direction.

But don't even pay buddy no extra mind. Just let it go. You got to charge some shit to the game, man. Yeah. Yeah. And that's unfortunate, but it's real. Also, that goes. Charging shit to the game is a religious principle.

Charging shit to the game is a religious principle. That's a fact. the ability to release and say what I mean it's above me it's beyond me there's nothing I can control about it that's an important

regardless of your life outlook you need that skill for sure also ghost and folks is cowardly too so he told us he told you something about himself there you know what I mean so it feels probably like she didn't win but she won you know I mean if someone ghosts you

pretend you found out that they beat their mom up or something because basically that's like what you found out is you found out something about that person that should make them someone you would not want to be around. You found out you fuck nigga free because this fuck nigga left your life.

You feel me? Yeah, you go. You feel? All right. Next question here. Subject I get here is I need advice like real bad. And like real bad is in all caps.

So she got some shit to get off her chest here. This is from our listener essence. She says, hey, y'all. So I'm going to get right into it. Earlier this year, my roommate Craig asked me a very heavy question. His sister Mary was living with their mama and going to school in Pennsylvania. When she was closing her sophomore year, she ended up getting pregnant by her boyfriend, who is now 22. Mary and Craig's mama was incest.

She urged Mary to get an abortion several times, letting her know that she was done raising babies and that Mary was not going to live in her home if she remained pregnant. Well, Mary said, fuck all that and kept the baby. and their mama kept her word. In the span of a week, Mary was homeless and knocked up. The boyfriend's family said she couldn't live there, and she was essentially forced to transfer to a local school to finish her education. Craig asked me one night if Mary could stay with us.

He explained the situation, and of course I empathized and felt so bad for her. I agreed to it, following a conversation emphasizing that she would help out around the house, take care of herself, and move out prior to her giving birth. Now, this may seem harsh, but I am not prepared to live in a house. with the baby, especially one that is not minor related to me. Craig agreed to these terms and asserted that he also didn't want Mary to stay with us once she had the baby and let her know that these were the terms. Mary accepted, but I'm starting to think this half of forgot. First of all, she barely does her part in this house. We're lucky to share a three-bedroom two bath house

with in union laundry and brand new appliances. Mary does not clean the kitchen. She's never swept or mop and only washes dishes he's personally used even if the sink is full otherwise. She does not have a job so she doesn't pay for anything. Occasionally she'll use her boyfriend's food stamps to get groceries, but asserts that they are hers alone. She uses my bathroom for everything but showering and has never taken a Clorox wipe to a single surface. She lists a whole bunch of other habits here that are not too hygienic that I think I'm going to, you know, cut short for the stick of brevity. Okay.

Lastly, I have no idea when she's leaving. We've collectively had several conversations reminding her that she cannot give birth and move to this home and return to this home with a baby. Craig has talked to her one-on-one. She asserts that she knows this, but there is no plan in sight. She's about seven months right now, and the day draws nigh. I will not live in a house with an infant. Let me tell you that right now. My question is, should I talk to her individually about her annoying habits and when she plans to leave? Talk to Craig or just shut the fuck up because she's having a baby, and that in and of itself is hard. I'm conflicted. My nature is genuinely easygoing, but I hate not feeling

comfortable in a place where I pay rent and half the high-ass utilities. Please help because I'm losing it. Yours truly nobody's auntie. God damn. You said, fuck them kids. Nobody's auntie. You can be.

Oh, man, this is like a really difficult question because the American social safety net is like trash. Like, the ability of a person to, and there's a few things that I just, the Holy Ghost just just told me in that little

question. I got to come back to. So, yeah, the American Social Safety Net is trash. But your boundaries are important. And thinking through what you're comfortable with is important as well.

It's an act of compassion, like, even to let somebody occupy your space. And I get that because I am in a three-bedroom house and I don't want nobody else up in here with me. I like being in my alone. It is my preferred. state of existence. I have been naked, practically,

20 years of my life. This is awesome. Okay? Get up. I make coffee, but to the world. Great. I understand. Like, you wanted to have your space to yourself or whatever.

And so, and let's be clear, most people wouldn't do what you did. Most people wouldn't like open up their house and open up their home. Like, most people who are Christians wouldn't do what you did. because if they would, we wouldn't have so many people in orphanages now. Right.

All these people who talk about like, oh, well, we pro-life, go get you a kid. They're out there. They wait for you, buddy. You ain't got like, you know, stop moms and having, you know, get an abort. Go to the orphanage. Go to the orphanage. Go to get you one. So don't discount the fact that you even let this person into your home.

I get that, right? That's a reality. And you do need to talk to your roommate about your level of comfort because you're not, he's not doing you a favor by being your roommate. Y'all got to be roommates to survive. This is a real type of situation. And with being in that situation, it comes respect. And, like, there are things that I can do now not being in here with anybody else that I could not do with living with somebody else. And I wouldn't do somebody else who's like simply visiting. That's just a level of respect and a level of

efficiency that you have to keep the home and the house at when you live with somebody else. If she there, she can't just be taken up, you know, she's pregnant. Lord, help her. Help her be pregnant. Help her through the pregnancy. But at the same time, like you, you got to care for yourself and you got to make, make sure that you like

being respectful and honoring boundaries. And so if we have to have a conversation about boundaries and have to have a conversation about like how we are existing in this space together, You can do that with compassion. You can talk about what you. Yeah, with compassion. You don't have to be like, you don't have to nut up at them and like pull out your blocker or whatever.

Like, be like, oh, you know, I'm just going to sit this at the table. It is what it is. You can leave the day. You can leave it. You can leave it. People know when they move in greasy, right? It's not a secret. She doesn't know that she would live in greasy.

It's a reason why she had to leave her mama career, right? Beyond like the child type situation. People knowing that when they're being greasy and she knows she can stuff up. And so keep that before her and also keep before her the reality that you need to just spot back. You did this because she was pregnant, but you also need to see. And it's really so difficult, right? Because what can you do when you pregnant with like seven months pregnant? You're like visibly pregnant.

No, that's why I was going to say like it's almost compassionate to have the conversation sooner than later. But so. Like, hey, I'm not trying. Because I mean, I know when my wife was seven months pregnant, I wouldn't ask her to move from the one couch to the other side of the couch. Right. You know what I mean? So yes, saying like, hey, you're seven months now. This is what the boundary is.

I'm coming to you with compassion because I don't want to come to you when you're eight months pregnant or when you're holding a baby and say you've got to get the heck out of here. So yeah, I think that like you said, though, these things oftentimes get presented or they get answered with this sort of like sitcom type thing of like, well, do you let her live with you forever or do you physically kick her out of your house? Like you said, there's so much middle ground to still operate with compassion

while being firm about your boundaries. Right. For sure. Another part about it is like, you don't deserve to be miserable in order to accommodate somebody else's existence. Like, that's not, God ain't called you to do that either. Right. Real shit.

All right. And next question here is bro, it's from Julius. Bro's what's the word? Thanks for what y'all doing. The laughs and insight you provide. Only question I got for the God Solomon is this. Tulam? That was it.

These California's got on me for the way I mispronounced that fucking word. I try to tell them, bro. It's East coasters. We've been vacation

in the Caribbean, bro. Like, Atlantis, be like, that's our Tulam, dog. Atlanta is a Tulun. So,

so yeah. Tulun, man, that's like the capital, that's like the mecca for like all hot girls on Instagram is Toulun. If you go on Instagram and you're like somebody

in a bikini, they are like Toulou. They are like, in Mexico right now doing hot girl activity. So if you see like hashtag Toulon, you already know what time it is. Like it's margaritas and madness. It's Toulon, baby. We're up. All right. So here's the last one here. And this is from Thomas. So if you fail to love the wife of your youth and the inevitable split happened, what options are available to a black man of means with grown kids in prime earning years? Not interested in women under 40. All right.

So I thought about this, man. One, I'm sorry that you had difficulties in your previous relationship. So I want to acknowledge that. That's a reality. That's real situation. Like people go through divorce every day. I'm divorced. I get it.

Two, options. And this is something that a lot of times guys don't think about and consider. dating is a reflection of the communities that you occupy. One of the problems that we are experiencing in dating is that we have commoditized it and that we have made it a reflection of consumerism. So you go in the app like you do all the other apps and you are looking for a brand. And you're looking for like a, you're trying to make a purchase decision. that is not what a relationship is about.

A relationship is not a purchase. A relationship is a synthesis. It is a active work between you and another human being in order to cultivate something called love. It is a synthesis. It's a mixture. It's more chemistry than like procurement. We want to go out and like get somebody and bring them home

and like make them fit. Right. in this thing that we were doing before. That is not a relationship. Once you go get this person and you go like bring them into your space, into your life, the life that you had before

is gone. The life that they had before is gone. You all are doing something different together. Right? This is a totally different thing. So that would have like three things that were interested to me and his question. One, where do I go

in order to like date success, all my kids grown or whatever. I'm trying to have my daddy got to have his life. So the question I have for them, one, is this, what are the communities that you occupy presently look like? What communities are you involved with? If that's a faith community, fine. If that's a social group, fine.

What are you doing beyond yourself? Because those are the people that you are in contact with, right? The people who share the same qualities and the same values as you do are going to be reflections of the communities that you occupy. This is all about where you, like where you have. If it's a motorcycle club, like what quality do they have in a motorcycle club? If it's the barn, it's different kind of barns. Like what kind of spot does you go to? Where are you at with it?

Second thing is, what are you doing beyond yourself? Are you cultivating compassion, consciousness, and consideration in real intangible? ways. Are you a nice guy because you want other people to say that you're a nice guy? Or are you like actively trying to advance care in the earth? Now, if you just want to be out here because you want to be out here and you want some hot boy stuff, which is cool. Like, do your thing. Acknowledge that. But also acknowledge the foolishness that comes with it. Because you're going to get the foolishness that comes with it if that's what you try to be on. You're going to sow, you're going to reap whatever you sow. Whatever you put now, that's what you're going to get in, right?

but if you're trying to do this in like a different way, you have to be conscious of the communities that you occupy. The second and third thing that I found to be interesting was he said that he's a man of means. Okay. And two, he's in his prime earning years. Brethren, that has nothing to do with you dating these people. It has nothing to do with you being a healthy partner.

That has nothing to do. And I understand the pushback to that because it takes resources to accommodate and facilitate love and care, right? None is free. I understand that at a like granular level at a like foundational level. None of this is free. It takes, you know, you got to have money to do things that you're trying to do in life. But your ability to like earn is not a reflection of your ability to care being a good. partner. And we don't tell men that enough. Like, your competency as a partner, as an intimate

partner, is greater than your paycheck. Like, your direct deposit does not mean you have a competency to care for this person in real and intentional ways and ways that speak to who they are. Right. So you have to be able to describe yourself in ways that are relevant to the activity that you want to participate in. You're trying to find a relationship or you're trying to manage a portfolio. Because if you're trying to be like a money manager, you should definitely tell people that you are in your prime earning year. But if you're trying to like actually, if you're trying to find a woman and somebody who's stacked up, you need to tell them that you can do more than like just be a check. Because that's a, that's a basement level expectation. And women are asking us for more than just like basement level expectations.

You got a check. Cool. You got a car. Cool. Everybody has a car. They sell millions of them a year. Can you think? Are you participant in like care when I need something? Not money-wise. If I need something emotionally, can you

take out time? Can you be considerate? Like the ways that I made the most mistakes in my relationships is like I was thinking about all the stuff that we could like spend money on but it was the time that she was there really asking for. She wanted to me to be aware of how she was feeling. Be aware of what

she was going through, not try to fix her, but try to listen to her. You know, so again, then finally, but he was like, I'm a man of means. But what are you telling women? Because if you're telling me this,

then I notice how you're leading with women. So we got to really think about how we're leading in these conversations beyond trying to lead with our bread and then be upset when people after our bread. Right. I think an important piece, and we're old enough now that I've got several friends who are on their second marriage or looking for a relationship after a divorce. And I know some of that, so my wife and I've been together since we were 18, which fortunately

we were, we were young and broke enough. It was like, of course we don't have any money when we got together. We're fucking 18 years old, right? Like all of the sort of like Twitter stuff about dating, we just didn't have to worry about it. But I know that's one thing she will always tell people and I always tell people is the more honestly you present yourself, the more honest the response you're getting from someone is, right? So if he's out here looking to have fun, go to places that people have fun and be honest about what you're looking for. But like you said, if what you're doing is you're telling someone you want to be with, I'm a man of means. That's the, that's not a good sales pitch, unless what you're looking for is someone who wants to be with a man of me and I don't think that's what most people are looking for.

You're looking for someone who wants to have fun. And so I think, you know, be honest about that and seek at those places. But don't you? I have the same reaction. It's not a good pitch to say I'm a man of me. Because I mean, listen, if you're looking for hot girls, you're going to run into hot girls with hot girl activity. And buddy, they're going to spend and they're going to win. And they're going to do it.

So you got to understand. Especially if you, if you like, you know, late 40s, knocking on 50. But that ain't what you want to be in, man, listen. Because they have the stamina for it. They can, like, spend your bread. All that you can do is, like, take them little blue pills and just be stressed out and have, like, heart coppersate. You don't, that's not the business you're trying to be in right now.

Stress. You're trying to be with somebody who's steady, who, like, ain't going to mess up your credit, who ain't going to have you out here fighting in the streets, you know, who not going to be on Instagram. typing up like stuff like look at this nigga you know that's not what you want right now you want something that's going to be like

stable right right right right so nah don't don't come out here leading like that man you know and the other things brethren and this go for me too you out here trying to date have somebody else take some pictures

for you have somebody else take your profile pictures for you why is the camera so close to your nose? Why can you see your nose hair? Why? Why is you looking like, you know, you off center or whatever? You're looking like you, and we're always staring at the camera in a way that's perpendicular to the shot.

So it looks like we're suspect of the camera. We don't trust the camera. Have somebody else take your profile pictures, upload them that way. Stop taking pictures with fish in your hands unless you're trying to find somebody who like farmers only. Like, have somebody help. help you with your profiles that can actually talk about the things that you want who you are and what you're trying to do. We call that functional advice.

That's functional advice. I think that him wanting a woman 40 plus here adds a new ranker to this. And I want you all to follow me with where I'm going here, right? Okay. So you know how our parents try to give a job application advice. And it's so outdated. Like your mom will tell you, you need to put on a suit, go to some offices. Right, right.

They're a manager. Right, right, shake some hands. Give them your resume. That's how you get a job. And, you know, we got to come back to mama like, it's 20, 23. We apply it. We pick up our phone. We hop on a D.

We apply to 50 jobs a day until we get one, right? Like, that's how that shit works now. Okay, so to bring that back to this, like, if you're 25 years old or whatever and you go through a breakup and you want to get back out there dating, you know, what do you do? You fire that phone up, right? You hop on Tinder and get the swiping. You start going crazy with the likes and the new picks on IG or, or, or, or, you to throw that bad signal up or you slide in some Twitter DMs.

You know, much in a way that like, you know, we apply for jobs on our phone these days. Like younger folks hop on that phone and they find a new romantic partner this very same way. Now, if you want a 40 plus year old woman, you're going to have to listen to Mama's advice on this one. You're going to have to pound the pavement, bro. You're going to have to, you got to hop out there in these streets. You got to find some cigar lounges. You've got to find some karaoke spots. right and this man said he wants

a black woman so you got to go to the karaoke spots where they're singing Mary Jay and not Taylor Swift right you got to hit some goddamn all white Labor Day parties you got to keep your ears to the streets on when SWV is coming to your town to do a show right you got to get on that

the best place to find women of a certain age who are single is Saturday morning 10 to 2 o'clock Home Depot in the plant department that's when they have all that's when they have time

what I tell you all they hit it they headed the Home Depot or low they're going to get the plants together especially now because it's starting to get warm they out there they fit and they the people who are all them kids they're not going to Home Depot

they're trying to get as much sleep as possible I said 10 o'clock 10 o'clock you got to be on time and you're going to know who they are you're going to see them walking whatever getting their little plants together so forth and so on no ring on go out to and ask them, hey, do you need some help getting the most to your car?

See if they're interested in it if they open to it or whatever. Sunday, Target. Run through Target, you're going to see whoever out there, whatever, whatever. They open to it. They open to it. Places that are functional,

man, anytime the A.K.A.s or the Delta's come in town, you need to be right there with them. Matter of fact, join a chapter, a grad chapter. Be out there with them. You know, do things. Be places and in communities.

What I'm talking about, like, what kind of communities are you occupying that reflect the values that you are trying to attract? Because if you're not in, like, I tell people all the time, like, don't date in church. I don't, because I think it's like a place of spiritual healing and repair. But shucks. And not every church because, like, my church got a whole bunch of old people in it, which is fine. Because old people need Jesus, they really do. But you know, a church.

It's got like, there's some baddies in there. Go to church. Not my church. But go to the egg church. Because you ain't going to be messing up my church. I'm going to have you like, no, bud, you got to go. But go to church. I mean, go to a place.

Go to a community that reflects the values that you're trying to attract. Like, do it in real and the situation. You don't have to change, like, move how you move. You can't just be waiting for to attract people who would like the things that you like. so like men go to the cigar bar and try to find women who smoke a cigar. But that's what you like to do. That's not what, that's not,

it may not be the type of people that you're trying to attract. The woman who in the cigar bar, she may not be the one for you. She might be a hot girl, she's just 40, bro. You know what I'm saying? She's trying to do the same thing you're trying to do. That may not be where you're trying to be, right?

Well, I think Home Depot, Target, and Church is the definition. of functional advice. Pastor Solomon, thank you so much for hopping on with us, man. I think that was funny and also super informative for our listeners. Thank you to all the listeners who wrote in with questions. We appreciate you guys too. But Solomon, thanks again for hopping on, man.

We really appreciate you. Appreciate you, man. For sure, for sure. It was a great time, man.