The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins and Jonez - The Bulls Could Win the East and the Thunder...Can’t Win A Game

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

The guys discuss the Thunder having the worst loss in NBA history (8:00), the Bulls being legit Finals contenders (11:00), Tyler’s cop energy surrounding Kenny Pickett’s fake slide (15:00), and a scary new story about robots (25:00). Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The volume. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smigel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.

Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

Either way, the podcast's superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On The Look Back at it podcast. In 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me. I'm Sam J.

And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick a year, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. With our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. 84 was a wild year. It was a wild year. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifers Show. This is a place for raw, unfilled conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it.

Listen to the Clifford show on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok's podcast network on TikTok. If you love to be remembered as the person who gives the best birthday gifts, I'm here to tell you that 1-800flowers.com is your ultimate birthday gifting destination. 1-800 flowers has thoughtful and artfully created options that are guaranteed to deliver the best birthday surprise. Shop thousands of unique gifts at 1800 Flowers.com for exclusive offers and great values. To order today, visit 1800flowers.com slash tune in.

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Welcome to Jenkins and Jones on the Volume Podcast Network. It's Monday, December 6th, and we got to... got a lot of great stuff to talk about in the world of sports and robots and ants. And we're going to introduce our new weekly segment. We're very excited about called, That's a death. That's a devil. That's a devil. That's just so funny.

As all. As always. Bougar boy officially. It's over. Booker boy, we're retiring that shit. Bougar boy has gotten crusty. I don't know. I don't know.

I feel like there's some. Bougar boys can be harmless sometimes, right? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, devils are dastardly, you know? I've got to be some dastardly shit going on and be, that's a devil.

That's a devil. That's a devil. The shock in that's, that's a devil. Jenkins and Jones is hosted by my good friends Jethro Jenkins, aka John. Was that, Bubba's. That's a devil.

Dragonfly Jones, aka Tyler. Hey, everybody, how's it going? That is indeed a devil over there. I'm Gardy B, aka Mike, and yeah, yeah. Should we just start with that segment? I was going to do it at the end. Yeah, fuck, dude, who cares? Okay.

I sent you guys the picture of this person. We should thank everybody up top. Huh? We should thank everybody up top. Oh, hey, yeah, listen, your Spotify raps were deeply emotionally moving for us and also somewhat scary and intimidating. So thank you very much for telling us

your stats. That people actually listened to us. How insane? Like 5,000 hours? 3,000 minutes? 3,000 minutes? Like, nigger what? Sheesh. Thank you. Wow! That's crazy to see.

It's beyond crazy. A couple of those numbers freak me out. Yeah, if you listen to us for like 5,000 minutes, you listen 4,998 more minutes than I did to us. Or would. If I wasn't me, I would not be listening to me, dog. Like, the only time I listen to us is to, like, you know, check volume levels and shit. Like, I'm investigatively surveying the quality of our episode.

Like, I do not listen to us, bro. I mean, I don't like this sound of- though, too, right? Everyone hates their voice. Everyone hates their voice, for sure. John, do you like listening to your own voice? Hell no. No.

No. hate my fucking voice. I think the thing is like you, you, the way you hear, it's not even that you actually hate the voice. You just hear it so differently in your own head. You know what I mean? So it's like, this is me. I'm a bitch. You know what I mean? Like,

that's a devil. That's a devil. Oh, man. We're stupid as hell. But I appreciate y'all for listening to 5,000 minutes of this silly shit that we be doing. God damn. I love you all. A year and a half straight.

This shit is great. shit to the ground. Calling shit a devil. I wish I would have known this earlier. Oh my God. Yeah, but we really do appreciate you guys because like the we've been fucking, the show's been around in one capacity or another for several years. And this was the first year that you obviously, the volume, you know, said, hey, why do

you really try and do this for a year? And the three of us decided we'll make that work schedule-wise. And, you know, we enjoy obviously just hanging out bullshitting with each other. but to know that in our first year of trying to like, you know, button our fucking pants as a podcast. Stop wearing the snap on button jeans, you know what I mean? To know that like so many people actually listen were listening to like every episode and it really was crazy like kind of thinking of it. Because in all honesty, I was thinking about this. I don't talk to my mom that much.

Like I don't talk to most of my close friends as much as people are just like being the fourth person on the pod bullshitting with us in their head. You know what I mean? So it really does mean a lot. We really appreciate you guys. Right in their car, responding to us. That's so beautiful shit. When your boss is looking over, like, what is this dude talking about?

I really got hugs for everybody, dog. All right. I'm sending you guys a picture of a Tennessee Amish man who was arrested with 25 pounds of weed and several guns. And I just want you to. Tell me if this is or is not a devil. Wow. That's definitely a devil.

That's a devil. That's a devil indeed. Wow. You know what it is? I never, do how much people line up their beers like that? His name. They do the chin strap.

That's kind of their thing. Oh, that's like, but like, Well, I have lined up like that, though. I did not know Amish people who lived in fucking Tennessee. I thought that was a Pennsylvania day. Oh, of course. Tennessee?

A redneck Amish person, that exists. Have you been in Tennessee? I mean, it's country, but I don't think they lived in Pennsylvania. Bro, you been to Chattanooga? I mean, Chattanooga sound like some country. Diggins. Okay, listen, it's white, there are, it's like Dutch Amish in Pennsylvania. So that's like the very stereotypical, like the windmills and shit.

but as there are white people in Pennsylvania, there are country or redneckier white people in Tennessee. And so there are country or redneckier, Amish people in Tennessee, including Chris Appleby from Lawrence County, Tennessee, whose house was rated where they found 25 pounds of weed and a dozen guns, and they are Amish-looking guns.

Chris Appleby. I got a name like a car, cartoon mouse. Like what the Chris Appleby? Yo. That is a Charlotte's web ass name, dog. I fuck with this nigga in seventh grade, dog. Like, this is the white boy that was cool to us in seventh grade, though.

I kind of feel like he might have been a white homie, dog. He got a face that make me think. This might have been a white Chris. Right, you feel me? Yeah, I think this was white Chris, dog. Look at that face, bro. You know what I mean? Come on.

I don't have any further commentary on that. I just wanted to bring Chris Appleby to our attention. Chris Appleby might be a real one. He might be a real one, dog. This motherfucker was moving rifles with wood barrels. Like, what the... Did you... This motherfucker is moving wait for the war of 1812 out this bitch.

What the fuck Chris Appleby? I'll tell you what, though. That green looks like it might be the real deal. Hey, Simmy. Hey, what are we looking at? Oh, no, okay. he would look at the guns now. Oh, this thing has got a must.

It might be for real, though. That dude, motherfucker. Oh, yeah, that green. Hey, yeah. That green, that motherfucker probably. I see hints of orange and purple. You feel me? A foot.

That might be that fire, as they say. This motherfucker looked like this motherfucker looked like this was from the future, though. This is my, she's. I can hear the clink clack of that motherfucker. That shit. It looks. Chris Appleby was ready and prepared for the red coats to try and fucking take his Look at this one.

It's a swashbuckler. What's this right here? Yeah. You see in this, what? Hey, that's a real one. That's a gun he's not supposed to know about it. He's probably,

he might get excommunicated from the church after these photos came out, bro. They had weed in the 1500s. They didn't even have cell phones and this motherfucker got all them attached on that shit. They looked like calling duty around that motherfucker,

though. Yeah. Hey, boy. Free, free white Chris, you know what I mean? Free. free the homie white

free the homie white chris we need a t-saysat you hear that jackson okay let's talk about uh the thunder had the worst loss in NBA history there is tanking and then there is losing by 73 points with jaw not playing against a jaw marat less Memphis grizzly squad

Joe crib. Did you see them 75 point spanking? Did you? And your goddamn social media talking about, well, guys, you're just gonna regroup.

No, the fuck you ain't. Nigin. You need the new group, bitch. You need to de-group. It's not one of the things you need to do with that group.

Don't tweet it. Don't tweet it. Act like it never happened. Lie to yourself. If it works, I do it all the time. Okay? You know what I mean?

Pretend the shit didn't happen and move on. Don't acknowledge. that shit. You know, somebody at you, what you're talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. 73, what? You know what I mean? You just got to pop up the next day with some, you know, get some retweets off and shit.

Like, hey, shit. Right, right. You know what I mean? That would have been the move is just retweet three, retweet three of Tyler's tweets about anything, basically. You know, it's just, what are we talking about? Change the narrative. We're talking about college football. Okay, we're talking about college football today.

Right. But regrouping and getting back at it is not what is required in the moment. Don't acknowledge a 73 point drubbing, okay? You know what I mean? Fuck it. Just move on, pretend like it didn't happen. That's the best way to deal with it. Only way to deal with it.

I would love it. And actually, there are some people on Twitter like this. I would love it if this is how human beings tweeted their Twitter accounts. They're like, well, my wife is cheating on me, but I have to put the final score up. Like, you know, like, oh, I got laid off today. I better just go put the final score up. Back at it on Monday. Got served with some divorce papers today, but, you know,

109, 106 and a tough one. You know, just say, yo, we got that ass. Whop today. You know what I'm saying? Like, just say that shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, we got to regroup, right? First of all, you are.

You are tweeting, nigga. You can't do shit to help these things, all right? What are your thumbs going to do to help them regroup, my nigga? You know what I'm saying? Stick to the tweets. Say you got your ass whooped or ignore the shit and move on. You can't help them boys out. They big trash and a big trash team that has beat the Lakers twice.

Okay. Moving on. Two times. Two times. Two times. Let's talk about the Bulls beatings. the Nets, Demar fucking DeRosen

29 points on 13 to 24 shooting. The Bulls win 111 to 107 to improve to 16 and fucking 8. And the Bulls team that we were hoping would be like fun is like a real legit fucking team, man. I'm so excited about this season. Did you guys get a chance to watch the game? I thought

DeMar was like everything everyone said about DeMar needing to turn into a 2020s basketball player. This game was the proof of No, no, no, no, I just needed to be in the right situation for my game. This season is the proof of that, though. Like, they've been trying to tell his ass, you know, come to the future with us. And he's like, no, I'm cool here.

I'm shooting 55% from fucking mid-range. I'm the best mid-range game, maybe in the player, maybe in the fucking in the game. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think he has more points than anybody in the league right now. How are you going to, like, you know what I'm saying, talk against that? And he's getting paid damn near 20 million you less than fucking Westbrook. all right you know what I mean

we we over here and Westbrook is Westbrook's been playing decent as of late he's been playing really well as of late you know what I'm saying so let me not

let me not you know add on unnecessarily you feel what I'm saying but our talk down unnecessarily but yeah DeRosen looking like hey as a guy bro

flat out yeah I think there was kind of you know an unsaid thinking that you know if Pop couldn't get much out of him then he's a lost cause right

I totally agree You. Yeah. Yeah. But then he's in Chicago. God, he's looking like a, you know, he's going to fuck around to be like a second team all NBA guy or something this year. You know what I mean?

Like he has been that fucking good this season. It's just, you know, like we said, we thought that the Bulls would be fun, maybe a five or six seed, you know, maybe, you know, make someone sweat in the first round, maybe even get a first round win. These motherfuckers can win the east from what I've seen from them so far, bro. Flat out. I might need to find myself in Chicago for a playoff game. that might need to accidentally happen.

That energy is going to be crazy, bro. It's going to be crazy. Like, put me, I'll sit in the fucking, I'll sit, you know, up behind the banners. I just need to be in the building for that energy this year. You see Lanzo with the fucking dot-to-die on that motherfucking game and walked off like with the hand. Bro, they are having fun.

Not only is it fun to watch, they are having fun playing the fucking game. You know what I mean? I mean, good for all of them. I like everybody on the team. You know what I'm saying? That is a team that we enjoy rooting for. Yeah.

That game winner was so fitting because it was like, Damar and Lonzo exercising demons on that play. Right, right. You know what I mean? Because we've heard how, how Demar's just a score, doesn't get teammates involved. He gets the game winning, yeah, not cluckling.

He gets the game winning dime to Lonzo who had one of the brokeish jumpers we've ever seen. He can't shoot. Right? He's been a good shooter for like the last two or three seasons. He kept out of that. But when he came in a week, he was shooting like fucking 30% or something ugly shit.

13%. Yeah. Might have been close. That thing might have been entertaining right out. Yeah, so that game

went to play. It was like both those dudes exercising their demons. You know, fucking Damar, playmaking and Lanzel bombing from deep. Like, bombing

and standing in that the ball fucking, man. Yeah. Bombing and look, and you know what I'm saying? Knowing it coming out of his hands, he's feeling himself. You know what I mean?

I love that. Good for him. I'm really excited for this next segment. What is it? I have no idea what the fuck we're talking about today, honestly. John, John rolled in from the dirty Doritos just fucking. Watching Christmas films and shit.

Tired as a motherfucker. We're going to work it out, though. You feel? Okay. As a dedicated watcher of the trajectory of the at Dragonfly Jones Twitter account, this is a new low for our hero. What happened? Kenny Pickett in a college football game today hit a fake quarter.

quarterback slide, and before he went down, he popped up and kept running. And our dear friend, Tyler, has had it with these rule breakers. Tyler, hold on. No, let me, let him get his issue off. Let me say this. I didn't like that play, and I don't like that I didn't like that play. Okay, I want to be clear. So you're a cop, but you know all cops are bastards.

Is that what you try to say? Yes. Yes. I'm going to tell you why I don't like and I'm going to use so many cliches and tropes that I'd never fucking use in my life and then I think people who use are full of shit okay

for one rules or rules okay Tyler don't start off there hear me out hear me out hear me out and rules are in place to protect you and to protect others

and I feel look like I said I'm not a rules or rules motherfucker I am not okay but in this instance this quarterback bended a rule that was there to protect him he utilized the defense you know easing up off him

because if he'd a slid because you know you don't go after a sliding quarterback he utilized that to his advantage to get them stuck and to blast pass him for a touchdown he gained the system in a way he exploited no he exploited what was put in place to protect them now I'm going to go to another

fucking cliche that I hate and I think that people use a full of shit. This sets a dangerous precedent. Oh my God. Okay. And I'm going to tell you why it sets a dangerous precedent. Look, if quarterbacks add this fake slide to their bag, right? We are going to see defenders who are legitimately lunging into them when they're

legitimately sliding. And we're going to see motherfuckings getting concussed or worse, right? We're going to see quarterbacks who are sliding who are getting hit because, you know, defenders are like, I'm not falling for the fake here. And that also gives an out for dirty players who want to get a cheap shot in. Oh, I thought he was faking when they knew damn well. You know, they just wanted to get a cheap shot in. So that's the dangerous precedent, I said.

And the last thing I'm going to say that I hate when motherfuckers say is think about the children here. Okay. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast. Superhuman documented it all,

embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win.

I don't care where you're saying. Yep, that's me. Clipper Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined.

And now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfiltered conversations with some of your favorite athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. One week, I'll take you behind the scenes of the biggest moments in sports and entertainment,

and the next we'll talk about life, mental health, purpose, and even music. The Clifford Show isn't just a podcast. It's a space. For honest conversations, stories that don't always get told, and for people who are chasing something bigger. So, if you've ever supported me or you're just chasing down a dream, this is right where you need to be. Listen to The Clifford Show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok.

Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fan, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun. Thought-provoking Star Wars-related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of taun tons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to blow your mind on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap Little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do a little kill? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast. I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down,

and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill, waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so y'all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line. We also have AIDS on the table right now.

Thank you for finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Think about the children here.

No, because look. No, hear me out. Hear me out. Think about the children, okay? Because it worked for that Pittsburgh quarterback, right? There's a 16-year-old kid who's thinking about breaking that shit out next season, and it's not going to go good for him. He is going to get his ass lit up.

You know what I'm saying? So that is not something. Get right to the romance and find the way to wow this valentines with 1-800flowers.com. From classic roses and bouquets to decadent chocolate-covered berries, gourmet treats, and more. Surprise your Valentine with 1800flowers.com. Right now, get the 18-stem enchanted rose medley for $39.99, or upgrade to 24 red roses for $10 more. Go to 1-800flowers.com slash tune in.

That's 1-800flowers.com slash tune in. Adoption of teens from foster care is a topic not enough people know about, and we're here to change that. I'm April Dinwiddie host of the new podcast, Navigating Adoption, presented by Adopt U.S. Kids. Each episode brings you compelling real-life adoption stories told by the families that live them with commentary from experts. Visit Adoptuskids.org slash podcast or subscribe to navigating adoption presented by Adopt U.S. Kids. Brought to you by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families and the Ad Council. What grows in the forest? Trees? Sure. No, what else grows in the forest? Our imagination, our sense of wonder, and our family bonds grow too.

Because when we disconnect from this and connect with this, we reconnect with each other. The forest is closer than you think. Find a forest near you and start exploring at Discovertheforest.org. Brought to you by the United States Forest Service and the Ad Council. I think that referees need to nip that in the bud. They need to put that lid back on that can of worms. Jesus fucking Christ. Because all jokes aside, all jokes aside.

That's all power shock. Look, I told y'all I was going to go full white man on this and I'm going full white man. I am going Republican. You are translucent. Right skin as a moniker yellow. Listen. But in all seriousness, exploiting a rule that is put in place to protect a player, nothing good is going to come from that because then you put the defense in a corner

where, okay, we got to play to the whistle. And that's how motherfuckers get hurt. I saw that shit. I thought, I just thought like that nigga. Woo, that was a little swaggy, nigga. It was shady. It was cool as hell, but it's dangerous to fuck. Yeah, I feel you on that, but it come across like the niggas is, Steph's ruining the game. You don't see anybody, you know what I'm saying? You know, you know what this sounds like? Tyler sounds like he's defending the ref on that Anthony Edwards dunk. Oh, no. No. I would never be that guy. I would never be that guy.

It was a charge. It was a charge. Never be that guy. The letter of the law. This is a different kind of meant to protect. I mean, with all due respect to the sport of basketball, which we love,

and I like more than football, is no one trying to ram their helmet through your teeth in the sport of fucking basketball, bro. That rule is in place for a good reason. The energy. The energy is the same, though. My reaction was, Look, I can't believe he didn't blow his ACL trying to do this shit.

Because the idea of starting to slide and popping up to me makes my knee hurt just talking about it. Because we're old, bro. We're old. Have you ever watched games? Like, wow, these dudes really jump in the air and land on their feet, like, repetitively, and nothing happens. I like, see them like, damn, that was a lot of, that was,

the dude jumped really high in the air and landed and was fine. No pain. How crazy is that? But like I said, I didn't like that I didn't like that. But I'm at the age now where safety is more important than cool shit to me. And I'm aware of how lame that sounds. And you're saying this while hot, all right? Yes.

I think that bounces out some way. Somehow. You know what I mean? I'm grass. I was high as hell of your shaking my head. The weed was purchased from an Amish drug dealer. We're balancing everything out. Right.

Oh, shit. Rules are rules While high as fuck At Dragonfly Joe That's good You needed a new bio So we're good But yeah

Like I said I don't like that I don't like that But you know This is who I am now You sound like a devil You sound like a devil All right Let's talk about

College football went through quite the We got a lot of college football talk Yeah College football A lot of college here on Jenkins and Jones. I want to talk about the coaching carousel because I know we all had a reaction to this.

All the coaches are moving around. It's the middle of the season. They're still trying to, like, you know, Notre Dame is still trying to win a national championship and their head coach Brian Kelly takes the LSU job. First of all, goes to Baton Rouge and adopts a Louisiana accent for his intro press conference, which was the funniest shit ever.

He said, my family. My family, my life. Motherfucking do like six syllables in that bitch. My fay-am, Molyle. God damn, motherfucker. Call me your ass down, fuck, nigga. We were just talking about how hard it is to pull off a southern accent. And New Orleans is the most impossible of Southern actions to imitate.

You feel me? Bro, you know what I'm saying? Reel it in, my nigga. My file. My file. My file. Niggas sound like it's on auto tune, nigga. Fuck is wrong with you.

Right. Their finger on the slider. She pain hit that nigger, I went to, you know what I'm saying? But what I wanted to talk about is in the process of telling his team that he was leaving them as they're trying to win a national championship. Brian Kelly first sent a group text, which I love. Hey, sorry you guys saw this from the media. You know, that's how the game is, but it's true. I'm leaving.

Meet me in the locker room at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning. So that day early as a motherfucker Apparently give them a speech that lasted like less than 10 minutes And could we just It's valuable work experience for the kids It is Can we just send an email? Can we just send an email on that one

And let the kids sleep in for one day maybe? No, I think it's a good lesson For the kids to learn early though You know what I mean? I like these motherfuckers just be talking shit This is a job like a motherfucker Never forget that You know what I'm saying?

So when it's time to get yours, you never feel bad because they're gonna get theirs. You feel what I'm saying? All that coach speak, that's bullshit. You know what I mean? They paid to say that shit. You know what I mean? Funny as shit, as they said in this 11 minutes,

there was a question and answer session there too. So, you know, ain't nobody has shit to ask that motherfucker. Nobody gave a fuck. Hey, how much more are you getting paid at LSU than you were getting paid at Notre Dame? All right, like, that's it, bro. Like, those people did not give a fuck. Also, I respect it too, man.

Can't keep the bag waiting, baby. You feel me? The bag waiting, you know, they can't keep the wait too long, baby. We got the goal. You know? We got to move on. We got recruits to steal. You feel me?

Hey, hey, hey, coach. Sorry, Bob. You know what I mean? The game's the game. You know what I mean? Yeah. The NFL is heading into the home stretch, and they're giving us a big week 13 divisional matchup

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So I'm just going to read this is from a CNN story. Headline, World's first living robots can now reproduce, scientists say. The U.S. scientists who created the first living robots say the life forms known as xenobots can now reproduce and in a way not seen in plants and animals. Great.

Wait, no, no, no, we need more. You can't just cut it off right there, bro. I need some, I need some more context. So are these like some single cell robots or some shit? Yes. These are microbiotic robots that are now, so they were specifically designed to, I don't know how much you guys follow robot technology. Is this that nano shit?

The whole idea of building a nanobot or whatever is that they could put some shit in your, they could inject some shit into you that could be hormone tagged or pH tagged or whatever to a specific kind of cancer. And this shit will go find it and just nya yin yin yin yin yin yeah until all the cancer was gone or whatever.

I don't know what the nia nina stands for but that's like the rough explanation of the size of it. It made a lot of sense to me. In order to do that though, they have to be able to be flexible because otherwise you don't want like a bunch of just little shit floating around in your body. So yes, this is specifically, here's how they described it. Frogs have a way of reproducing that they normally use, but when you liberate the cells from the rest of the embryo and you give them a chance to, quote, figure out how to be in a new environment, not only do they figure out a new way to move, but also they figure out, a new way to reproduce,

but they were basically cloning themselves without any people telling them to do that. Is that in their code or anything? It's just they started, they started creating, doing that themselves? It was expected that they would do it, but there was no, like, execute command. You know what I mean?

They're operating independently of control. So I've heard of technology where, like, you could use nanotechnology, where you walk in the house, it realizes you're cold, and the house will turn the heat on to get your body temperature up, like things like that. But this is, I didn't know it like was made and could possibly reproduce. I thought it was made for particular things.

And then it, you know, like what is, is it reproducing itself or is it reproducing itself to do different things? Okay, let me, I'm going to read you two more paragraphs. And then we can discuss whether or not this is a good idea. The xenobots are very early technology. Think of a 1940s computer and don't yet have any practical applications. However, this combination of molecular biology and artificial intelligence could potentially be used in a host of tasks in the body and the environment, according to researchers. This may include things like collecting microplastics in the oceans, inspecting root systems, and regenerative medicine. While the prospect of self-replicating biotechnology could spark concern, the research,

The researchers said that the living machines were entirely contained in a lab and easily extinguished as they are biodegradable and regulated by ethics expert. The scientists always say that they're easily extinguishable in the first act of the movie. They always say that it's perfectly controlled in the laboratory. And you know what? It never is because life finds a way. And I would rather this not be happening. Maybe it's okay that we die when we're in our 80s, bro. maybe we don't need to create robots that can self-replicate beyond our ability to control them someday.

Listen, bro, 35 was like senior citizen status for like 98% of our existence as humans. I think 80 is a nice ceiling for us to have. You know what I mean? I think that's a nice compromise. You know what I mean? To make that leap from 35 to 80. But I'm curious, though, is, you know, they said they expected them to do that. Was there anything that spurned this?

because like, you know, we'll see animals clone when there's a lack of opposite, you know, sex partners or whatever. Like, was there anything that spurn this or did they just do it because they could? And I feel like both would be equally fucking scary because I feel like if they just did it just to do it, it's like, let's start the fucking robot evolution

for the, so we can kill some motherfuckers on like. They're having conversations we haven't heard. You know what I mean? Yeah. They designed them to only replicate in specific. So it's like, because this shit's so complex, you know, it's written for, kindergartners like me

and I'm sure that if I were actually a scientist I get but what they said is they were designed to only replicate under certain conditions and they started replicating under different conditions. Are they... So are they the clones did the exact same things

the ones prior did or that they do different shit? That's what I'm wondering like, did they like evolve as well? Yeah, they don't really do anything yet because they're still so basic. So they don't like... So they didn't evolve. They didn't evolve to anything different.

Not yet, correct. Okay, but I mean, you know, nine generations in my, you know what I mean? There ain't no telling. Why are we doing this? Interesting that you asked that question. The research was partially funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, a federal agency that oversees the development of technology for military use. Isn't that why we could do, like, isn't that all science at some point, you know what I mean?

Like, the root of science is, you know what I'm saying? The military. In some way, it's ridiculous. It's great. Very exciting. Scary as hell. Yeah, yeah, it's scary as hell.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's scary. Dude, I'm realizing usually our science is a little bit more upbeat than this. But did I send you guys the video of the Ant Death Spiral? I saw it. I didn't. I don't think you saw it. I did see it.

That was, yeah, that was like how like the pheromones or something from the other ants will cause him. walking a circle till they all die? The actual name for it is an ant mill, but it's become known as an ant death spiral. And what happens is, if you've ever seen ants in your house or outside, you know they follow a line.

They follow a line because someone finds some food. They shoot a pheromone up that says, hey, there's food over here, and then they march in a line to the food, and they get another line going back to their colony to bring the food back, right? And if they get trapped in some sort of, sort of a, the pharimo is not working the way it's supposed to.

They can end up following each other around in a circle that gets bigger and bigger with more and more ants until they just collapse of exhaustion and die. And it's like, the video was freaky as fuck, first of all. But I think something I know the three of us all think about is like, what do human beings look like to something bigger than human beings or like whatever? and is this not what like the internet is? Like is this not the social era that we're in of like everything we're doing biologically makes sense?

Like I read something that makes me angry so I'm going to talk about it. But by saying the thing about how angry I am about this, I'm promoting this idea that makes me angry to more people. Like this is Jason fucking Whitlock. Like this is. Shit. That's exactly what it is though.

Damn. We are, we are, we are death, we are ant death spirulers on fucking Twitter. What was crazy to me? I don't, I think, was it, I don't know somebody, somebody sent me the picture of what an ant looked like. Was that one of y'all? Yeah, I sent you the picture. I don't know why I was on an ant kick this week.

I sent you a picture of an electron microscopes picture of an ant, and it looked like, it looked like, what, I think I text, I teach you, I was like, dog, it's just so wild. They're like, I'm three years old Or like four Killing them with my finger Like, you know what I mean? That motherfucker looked like It should be wrecking shit

There is nothing that like There should be nothing I mean, I know it can live 50 times It's weight and all that That's cool But I'm still killing it with my fucking finger You know what I mean Regardless all that other shit

You know what I mean The way that thing looks It is unfair that it's so, you know, weak in the greater scheme. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's so low on the... That's a devil.

That's a devil. That looked like a devil for sure. I could tell by the look at your fucking eye. That motherfucker was coming. Mike was like, I was like, it's coming, it's coming. I can see Mike like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those bitches look diabolical.

They look scary as fuck. You feel me? And we just fucking them over my fingers. But yeah, like, Ants are weird. They say don't kill them in your house too because when you do, it just sends out a signal

because the pheromone signal to get a signal to another ant to come. You know what I mean? So I kill the fuck out of my mind. I'd be killing the fuck out of them shit. Yeah, they're annoying as hell. But that looked more than annoying. Like Tyler said, that shit looked diabolical.

You know what I mean? It's interesting that you feel like we're fucking them up because we can squish one of them. Because I feel like that's a very human idea of- Winning. Yeah, and power, right? Like, me versus the ant.

I can kill you with my, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but there are 10 billion billion ants on the planet Earth. How many zero? Is that, what's that, 18 zeros? There's a biomass of 3,000 million tons. God, dash. Of ant on the world. Okay, okay, what was that?

What was that? The biomass of ants on the. planet Earth is 3,000 million tons. So if you were to put, if you were to put all of the cows on Earth on a scale, 3,000 million? No, I think it's one over that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

It's six times as much. That's what it says on Google and I don't fucking know. I was like, holy shit. It's six times as much as the weight of all the cows on the planet Earth. And it's twice the weight of all the fish combined on the planet. Earth. Cows be big as fuck too and ants be little as hell. That's a lot.

Scientists estimate there are one quadrillion ants on the earth. That's the number one followed by 15. I thought that was a fake number. I thought that was a number we just made up. Quadrillion is like, we just said that when things were big. I didn't think it was an actual number.

You know what I'm saying? Anyway, welcome to planet ant. For real. That's what, yeah. They running shit. You know what I'm tripping. They're not listening to the pod, though, so fuck them. All right.

That's our shit. I didn't put their 5,000 hours ahead. Fuck them, niggins. Squishing more with my finger. You know what I'm saying? That's our show. Thank you for fucking with us. We'll be back on in the middle of the week with the more fun stuff to talk about.

Appreciate you. Thank you seriously again for all the thousands of hours minutes. The quadrillion. The quadrillion. We need our total minutes. How many quadrillion minutes didn't we get listened to? The biomass of all the minutes of the podcast.

Twice as much as ants. Bye! Bye! Bye! If you love to be remembered as the person who gives the best birthday gifts, I'm here to tell you that 1-800flowers.com is your

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Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman helped make you funnier. This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and headwriter, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all,

embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Look Back at it podcast. From 1979, that was a big moment for me. 84 was big to me.

I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick you here, unpack what we're. and try to make sense of how we survived it with our friends, fellow comedians, and favorite authors. Like Mark Lamont Hill on the 80s. It was a wild year. It was a wild year.

I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what I'm saying. Yep, that's me. Clifford Taylor the 4th.

You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey. or my career in sports media. Well, now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfilled conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it.

Listen to The Clifford show on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. This is an IHeart podcast, guaranteed human.