The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins and Jonez - The Great String Cheese Debacle of 2022

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

The guys discuss St. Peters attempting to save us from a national nightmare, HEAT CULTURE, Drake trying to be LeBron’s little brother, Druski’s IG live, and some bizarre food topics.  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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on the volume podcast network. It's Monday, March 28th, and this is a food episode. of Jenkins and Jones, which I feel like that's always a good. It's always a good Jenkins and Jones episode. As always, the show is hosted by my good friends, LeJethro Jenkins, aka John. What's that, Bubba's. Dragonfly Jones, aka Tyler. Hey, everybody, have a good. And I'm Garty B. aka Mike. And we have to open up with some cock talk. Some more cock talk. It's the season of cock talk. We are, we're recording a couple hours before the St. Peter's, uh, North Carolina game. And so we're living in the time traveling anxiety period from wherever.

If you're listening to this, you already know which nightmare we're staring down. Is it Duke UNC in the final four? Or is it America being the biggest St. Pete's fans of a college? We didn't know existed a month ago. Either way, I'm stressed as fuck. But we have to celebrate St. Peter's being the first 15 seat ever to get to the elite eight, a team that is led by Shaheen Holloway, who is basically Tyler, as we've learned over the last week. I love that dude. Shaheen Holloway was Loki, one of my niche obscure, random-ass childhood heroes when I was going up.

Like, I was a huge Shane Holloway fan. He was one of those guys who, you know, New York, New Jersey point guards who were a big deal when they were press when they were high schools. You know what I mean? Like he's from that, that ill with fucking, you know, like fucking, um,

Steph, you know what I'm saying? And Kenny Anderson and those guys. So yeah, I was a huge shady highway fan going up. And I had, like I said, I had no idea where he, where he even was in life

until that last week. So super happy for the journey he's been off. But, but he, there was the story about him not, he was, I think Coach Kay said he was the only player ever that took two officials to Duke

and did not sign. And you, your theory on why that was was like, oh, he's you. bro he went to Duke in 9th visiting Duke in 96

like bro Duke was the school at that time Duke was the school of the 90s he went on two official business and said nah bro I can't fuck with this I'm staying at the crib with the you know fucking third tier ass

St. John I'm seen all so yeah you know when I found that out my respect rose even more Shaheen Holloway I remember he was he was called

Eric Barkley those are those type of guards that you know people don't really talk about but they was fun as fuck to watch. Yeah, so I'm happy as hell for him. I'm gonna be honest with you, though, bro. Caleb, love you from the crib.

You know, I'm saying. I'm sorry, dog. That takes, I mean, I love you, St. Peter's. I love you, Shaheen, but my nigger from the Loo. Burger Boy from the Loo. There is no team that I will root against him, like when he, when he plays him, I just can't root against Caleb.

I don't me. I think, look, we're, like I said, we're five hours before that game tips up. In my heart, there is, no question that unc is going to win that game and we're going to all be subjected to the agony of a duke unc final four game agony why why because i need coach k to not end this season happily and i can't have him beating unc who i look i'm from southern california i have been to the carolina's once in my life i have no investment in these schools except for that

that when I was a kid, UNC was the public school and it was clearly the black school. And so my family rooted for UNC. And everyone in America has been on that cultural divide, except for John. USC never been a black school, though. Since 1990. I mean, from Southern California,

when you would look at the teams playing on NBC, CBS, that's the only interaction I had one. It just wasn't anti-black, which Duke was, and I apologize for what I did. Well, in 1990, I didn't know about anti-black, my nigga. When we were kids, kids in the America we grew up in, if you weren't anti-black, you practically were fucking a freedom writer with your friends up.

Right. That's a fact. That's a fact. That's a fact. That's a fact. That's a fact. I still think seeing Bobby Hurley and Jalen Rose going up head to head and you signing with Bobby Hurley. It's bad. I didn't, I didn't even know who the fuck the Fab Five was. I didn't see that shit. I saw a random-ass Duke North Carolina game and I'm like, who is this crappy He has, dude, who's little like me, you know what I'm saying, getting buckets. That's what I thought. Look, you've, you've, you've, you've, you've, uh, you've repented enough for, you know, childhood use decisions.

I'm not, I'm not holding that against you. I'm just saying, like I saw him with Jalen Rose, ball head, all them niggas. It was like, fuck the nickers. I ain't want to pop me early. That is not what happened, niggas. I saw a white man versus white man. And one white man was smaller and I was small. I'm like, he's getting buckets.

I want to be like Bobby. I thought, I thought. We're in the same age. I was like 11 or so during the fat five-fyes run. I was old up to know, yo, these black dudes in the baggy shorts are cool as fuck. Fuck that, fuck that's scrappy-ass white dude. I was, I think that's old enough to be on that. I was a baseball player, G.

You feel me? Like, I played baseball, you know what I mean? Like, I was trying to be like fucking, I don't know, like, Terry Pendleton and fucking, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you feel what I'm saying? Yeah, you feel what I'm saying? So, like, I was, I didn't, you feel me?

Like, you know, Maddox and all them and shit. You know, was the oldest Nixon, you feel me? The 50-year-old fucking, you know what I'm saying, center filter. But that's who I was watching. So I didn't see, like, the fan five. I didn't really get into basketball for real until I was, like, in late middle school. I was already playing by the time I was really started to watch it. So I just did watch Duke, you know what I'm saying?

Because that's the only team I saw, you know what I mean? Tyler, you're a North Carolina fan. Like I said, I'm a North Carolina fan huge when they played Duke. Like, can you imagine the stress and misery of, like, it was such a nice sports moment when they beat Coach K and his final game at Cameron. If that was the way that the UNC Duke, the UNC Duke, Coach K era story ended, that would have been perfect. And now I feel like we need UNC to win because I think UNC has a better chance of beating Duke the same team. For sure. And I hate to, you know what I mean?

And it's so hard. Even as a UNC fan, you fucking sign with motherfucker Hughbert over Shaheed, but I can't do it, bro. It's more than better good. Do you feel? Yeah. I'm so sorry, Shahee. I saw UNC fans on the timeline last night.

Someone said, I'm typing this in Invisible Inc, and I'm going to delete the tweet in an hour. But low key, I need St. Peters to win this game because I can't handle the stress of UNC Duke in the final four in Coach K's last year. I think if USC wins, though, if you can't go out on top. If UNC wins, that's the worst way for Coach K to come out. Like with another UNC loss, you feel me, in the fucking Final Four, take your ass home.

I think that's setting up for a big loss. So, but, I mean, that's also setting up for a major win and maybe some redemption from the ACC game. I feel like if Duke plays UNC in the Final Four, I feel like they're going to win by 20, bro. You think so? I just, yeah. I mean,

not based on the X's and O's. Paulo is fucking incredible, gee. Yeah, not based on X's and O's whatsoever, just purely based on having watched the WWF that is college sports for long enough. Yeah, some 19-year-old kids getting sick of the fucking memes, you know what's going to happen in that game.

I don't know. Caleb Love just dropped the 30 ball. Yeah, 26 and a half, nigga, if you're feeling himself like that, it don't matter who's in front of them, you feel me? I'm going to airmail myself a Caleb Love jersey by Friday if we get fucking, I need to get that anyway.

You're reminding me. That's a great, that's a great call. All right. Let's talk about the heat had a fun little televised moment where Jimmy. Heat culture. Heat fucking culture. Now that real, all of the time, that is he culture.

That was some motherfucking 1995, P.J. Brown type of shit. Right. We ain't never see, we ain't never see the heat, you know, players turn on their cells and try to eat their own like we saw that night, that was something else, bro. You had Eric Spolstra literally in Jimmy Butler's face saying, do you want me to fucking fight you? Like he was outside a bar at 2 a.m.

It was a question, though. It wasn't like, it didn't have an exclamation point of the end. You know what I'm saying? Like, it was, he was wondering if he wanted him to. He's like, just to point that out. But, yeah, that was, that was fucking, what the fuck did Jim me say you know what I'm saying he he he had to say some he had to say some hell of disrespectful yeah because because eudanus had hopped in and he and he meant business

when he hopped in too bro yeah yeah well he so the lip reader analysts on twitter dot com have what angle though what angle did they have i didn't see any donis was was pointing at the warriors and saying go with them then or something like that so it was it was the warriors were beating the heat and the the theory from the analysts was that Jimmy Butler had been saying something about, well, they're winning because they're doing this and this or something as a shot at Spoh. You know what I mean? And that that's why Adonis was like, because you know, he doesn't play that shit in the fucking slightest. He is an he is unironically heat culture, you know, personified. So he's like, go with them then.

And then yeah, I mean, fucking Spoe with a historic clipboard spike on the court at Jimmy Jesus Christ I love the fact that Spow had like He would obviously he was trying to To fake fight Jimmy Because there's no He didn't he didn't really want those problems But I don't know gee that that shit was weird as fuck

And the way they began they got the ass beat by the Warriors They got they got their ass whooped by the fucking Nets I didn't even finish that game They were up like 30 something maybe You know what I'm saying when I turned that motherfucker off Like I don't know what the fuck going on over that I didn't even fix that shit though Or don't fuck it.

Shit, I don't get broke. But I don't know, man. I think Spoh, I don't think Spoh is a fronter or a bluffer. I think he's legit, you know, a tough dude. I think he's a soft-spoken, don't fuck on me type. Like, we saw in 2010 with Braun try to run that man out of town during the first half of that season. They had that stature off Spoh didn't fucking blank, right? Like, Spoh ain't scared of fucking peak power, peak influence.

bro you think he's scared of fucking jimmy butler i don't think he's going to fight either of them niggas i will say that and i don't think he would try to fight either the niggas for real i don't think he's scared you know what i'm saying but i think he was fake fighting knowing there wouldn't be a real fight you feel what i'm saying he's part of the a theatric jimmy blotler wasn't throwing hands either only motherfucker i think was going to throw hands is eudanus you know what i mean the 42 year old with the grown man strength you feel what i'm saying aren't he from carroll city random random is he from is he not from miami he's I think he is from Miami, I think.

But random-ass spoke fact. Did y'all know that he was the point guard for the fucking Portland, the University of Portland, he was on the court when Hank Gathers died? Did y'all know that? No. Yeah. Did not know that. I did not know that.

He's got quite the story, man. It was on the court when Hank Gathers died, went from fucking, you know, film boy, A-B guy at the fucking heat to the coach to one of the top two, top three coaches in the league. That dude's got a story, man. Dad in the league, though, his dad, you know what I'm saying? Was in the league as like a front office position. That was a front office guy, I believe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did just, I did also read this week. I did not know this, but he married a heat cheerleader, which I feel like is like, you know, it was, it was long enough ago that it was like not something that would we'd be writing exposades about. Yeah. You know, it was like eight years ago or something like that,

but I was like, what? How did I not know that? How I had not heard that story before, bro? That's, that's, that's, I feel like, I feel like if they started dating when he was the A.B. Guy, right. That's different. He was the coach, you know what I'm saying? For sure.

Like, she was fucking, like, stepping down at that point. Right. To date the little film boy. You know what I mean? He must have spent some pimping for real to pull that, you know, out of the motherfuck of the film room. You feel? Me. Okay.

Let's get serious for a second. Uh, I've been thinking a lot about actually, what makes you feel rich in the soul. And I've been trying to figure out what I could do to obviously commemorate this moment. So I'm going to myself and Eddie from State,

we're going to dedicate a million dollars to the I promise school and I'm going to come drop it off myself. Oh shit, bro. You have me for you. Right, I was like, right, I was going to need. Fucking Aubrey, man.

Albury is the most awkward I'm gonna make your moment about me as dude I think I've ever seen in my life Like you remember when he was there to like You know present Rihanna with like the Video Vanguard Award or something shit and this motherfucker Broke out a poem and talked about how he always wanted To date her and shit motherfucker

Why you can't talk about how fucking cold umbrella was Why do we have to hear this shit? Text her that shit nigga Yeah and then he went in for the kiss When she came up on she was like no nigga And shrugged him off and shit bruh, that dude is different, man. Like you said, he got playing LeBron.

I never seen no shit like that. People were pointing out, Braun was kind of looking at him, like, wait, he had to, like, calculate in his robot brain. He's like, what's the appropriate response to someone giving me a million dollars? I think he had to force himself to be like, whoa.

I mean, wow, wow, wow, a million dollars. And also, he know how much money this nigga got, too. Like, they hold me, you do some change in me. You feel me? I got a billion dollar contract with Nike. A million dollars. You're going to make an announcement about this with all the money I have and you have.

Come on, Zee, you know what I mean? It feels a little bit like if I came to one of your birthday party and with the cameras on, you said I'm giving you a thousand dollars, right? It's like it would be, it's nice. It's nice. Absolutely. Like a million dollars for a school that someone's running. That's, you know, what a wonderful gesture.

But like, why are we thinking? filming it. Why do you have your hand of literally if you look at the level is he's holding his hand above his eyes. Yeah. He pulled it drawn down at his level. Right. Now listen, if you're listening to this, you're in the car, you're at the office or whatever. Take your, take your left hand or whatever your off hand is. Hold it up over the top of your head and just hold it there and count to 10 in your head. Now imagine giving a speech for 45 seconds with your hand up there so that you could look like your LeBron James is big bro. It's just like, my nigga, I'll keep it a stack.

A thousand dollars, it wouldn't even be that. That's like a hundred. We compare in salaries. It's like you coming to my crib, you know, looking in the camera. I'm giving you $100. Trying to get, trying to get, so many to quiet down so the camera can catch it, you know? Whoa. You know what I mean?

Wow. You got me more credit than I deserve, my Jeep. Right. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's a great gesture that I'm sure it's going to help a whole fucking line. Shouts to over for that.

God damn, bro. Just play the background every now. Dude, shit. Just be at the birthday party sometimes, bro. How long did he plan that? How long did he plan that fucking speech?

How long you think he knew exactly what he's going to say in that moment? This is fucking, he planned it long enough that you could see him flub the speech because he realized, and I love this, he realized too late in the speech that he hadn't brought up Eddie, from State. So he, because he did, what he meant to do was to say, me and Eddie from State wanted to do something good. And then really, I'm dedicating the million dollars, but instead he had to throw him in right before he said the dollar figure. You could see it tripped him up a little bit.

So he, he'd been thinking about it enough to have a plan that went awry. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win.

A win is a win. I don't care which I'm saying. Yep, that's me, Cliver Taylor the 4th. You might have seen the skits, the reactions, my journey from basketball to college football, or my career in sports media. Well, somewhere along the way, this platform became bigger than I ever imagined. And now I'm bringing all of that excitement

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or wherever you get your podcast. And for more behind the scenes, follow at Clifford and at TikTok Podcast Network on TikTok. Do you remember when Diana Ross double-tap little Kim's boobs at the VMAs? Or when Kanye said that George Bush didn't like black people. I know what you're thinking. What the hell does George Bush got to do a little kill? Well, you can find out on the Look Back at it podcast.

I'm Sam J. And I'm Alex English. Each episode, we pick it here, unpack what went down, and try to make sense of how we survived it. Including a recent episode with Mark Lamont Hill waxing all about crack in the 80s. To be clear, 84 is big to me, not just because of crack. I'm down to talk about crack on day, but just so you all know. I mean, at this point, Mark, this is the second episode where we've discussed crack. So I'm starting to see that there's a through line.

We also have AIDS on the table right now. Thank you finishing that sentence. Yes. I don't think there's a more important year for black people. Really? Yeah. For me, it's one of the most important years for black people in American history.

Listen to look back at it on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hardway with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness, in this month. I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking. Trip Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize

that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross, because you find it important to be a good person while you're you here on earth? Are you a good person because you're free? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust.

I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Kear Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Learn the hard way and listen now. He walked away like,

fuck. Bad as hell. It is something. We've talked about this with celebrities, though. It is weird. Like dudes like Drake clearly there's an emotional need in them that their career and some of the actions like Tyler talked about with the Rihanna speech that they're trying to fill that. And it's just so fascinating to see a dude that 99% of people on earth would like kill to

have this dude's career or money or whatever. And you can just see in these moments. And I had a little brother. You know, you could just see that like, I need this hug from Braun so bad right now. Dude. Look at Drake, bro. Drake has all the money, arguably, I mean, is the most successful rapper of all time, not arguably as far as money, you know what I mean? Has a fucking full hair line, a beard, and he's still doing duck lips and photos.

He wants everything. Bro, just be, if you would just be you, you don't need the duck lips. You know what I mean? He still does the duck lips because he won everything. He's on some Alexander the Great shit. Like, he needs another continent to conquer, bro. You feel me? Relax, bro.

He cried when there were no more duff lips. You got the hairline, the beard, the fucking money, bro, the success. But you still want the duck lips, nigger, relax. This episode is brought to you by Square. What if your business could sell anywhere at any time and open to more customers all by making one simple choice? Running your business with Square means being able to sell just as easily, whether it's in person, online, or on social media. Your business will also be ready for whatever new sales channels might open next. Go to Square.com slash commerce to learn what's possible.

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I'm a big believer that the bucks have a really good job. chance of going back to back this year. So I'm going to say this is going to start the propaganda for the bucks. I'm going to take the bucks. I'm going to take all the overs on Janus because I think he's going to go colossal supernova. Make the midseason feel like the playoffs when you bet on Fandwell Sportsbook. Your winnings get paid fast. It's a top rated, easy to use, safe and secure app. Plus, if you're a new customer, you can bet $5 and get $150 in site credit instantly guaranteed. Download the Fandual Sportsbook app and sign up using promo code J&J. That's J-A-N-D-J to bet the NBA today.

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Major League Baseball. So if you're the Marlins, you're the Orioles, whoever, you get revenue share off of the TV contracts that everyone else signed. So the Yankees and the Dodgers having these big deals, you get some of that money, right? There are multiple teams spending less on players than they are getting from the league through revenue sharing, which means they're literally they just own the team. They're making money by just having the cheapest fucking salaries. There are two teams, the Cleveland Guardians, which used to be the Indians, and the Baltimore Orioles, whose payroll is less than $30 million for the upcoming years.

Both of those teams have a lower team payroll than 15 Major League Baseball players will make this year. are they So what are they doing? Are they even trying to win? Like is that the issue? You know what I'm saying? They're trying to save costs by offloading

every good player they can, sometimes for cash. But like, this totally blew my fucking mind. Under 30 million, you know how many dudes are on baseball teams? Like, that's an expensive sport to compete in.

And there's still owners that are straight up like, nah, man, I'm as cheap as fuck. They're making less than Westbrook this year. That's crazy. The whole fucking. fucking team. That's wild as hell, gee.

Significantly. And baseball is where you get bredded. How do you have pictures on your team where like pictures are like thrown money? You know what I mean? Like three pitchers probably make this. You know what I'm saying? Like on most teams and they're paying less than that's wild as fuck you. I'm really thinking about that. That's crazy as hell. How do you got 80 games home games a season and you still broke as fuck? I just had to even work out, bro. How does that compute? 81 fucking home games every season

and y'all still scrambling. I will never understand that. Bro, I'm saying this. How many people on, like the Indians? I mean, the Guardians, my bad. How many people on that team? The Guardians. I don't know, major league baseball roster has got to be 30-something.

Is it really? Well, because most teams carry a shit. They carry a shitload of, they carry a shitload of pitchers. Yeah, that makes sense. I'll look at it. I mean, that's 40 men. It's a 40-man roster. 40-man roster?

30 mil for the entire roster Also they're called the Guardian Oh okay that no that's for the playoffs Okay It's 20 it's it's 28 for the regular season Wait but it's 40 for the playoffs They up it in the playoffs? I did not know that Because so that you can

So that you can You know be more flexibility pitchers Because they call guys They call guys up and down Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's crazy So 28 dudes making $30 million in a professional Sports League in fucking 22 That's crazy

That's wild That's so broke You're like I need this check from the Yankees So I could just buy myself Another house I mean it's just like You're gonna have to play the Yankees And one player is making more money

Than your entire fucking roster You know what I mean Like how much is Aaron Judge making You feel me? Yeah No that's like Tyler shit It's like some of these dudes Have quarter billion dollar contracts

And they're playing against T's teams that are trying to like, hey, I need you to take 800,000 instead of 900,000 this year. I don't got it. I got it, though. That's wild. All right. I wanted to talk about you guys brought this to my attention. I think to a lot of Twitter's attention, but this dude who is on Drewski's IG Live, John, can you, can you tee this dude up?

Jason Pleasant. He was on Drewski's IG Live. Drewsey has that live. He's doing, could have been records where he's trying to sign motherfuckers. and old boy went crazy you know what I'm saying Jusie was laughing at first and then he was like low keto

homie go crazy G you feel me like and I don't know That backflip was the tag turn He was hitting and I'm like Okay what's going on I don't know Hit the backflip and then

Started like what Sea walking or fucking At the back I'm like Okay this nigga for real And we need we need the I mean like people were saying this Him and Young Barbecue baby

Get them together We need that You know what I'm saying? That tandem. They'll take over the world. You know, young barbecue and Jason Pleasant. You know what I'm saying? Like, nah, bro.

The streets needed. The Twitter streets at least. You feel what I'm saying? But no, like, I posted a video of them recently. That shit, niggas is loving this kid, bro. I think something has to happen. You know what I mean? I think, and he's also autistic.

And he was talking about, like, his experience and, like, you know, love himself and all that. I'm a big fan of the motherfucker. I want him to, whatever is out. there for him, I hope he gets it, gee, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. What I love the most about it is seeing someone have their moment

and go so fucking hard. Not give a fuck about what anyone's going to think about them. Just lay it all out there, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm a big believer in, you know what I'm saying, the whole, I think that at least I try is a way better, it's way better to live with than what if I could have shit. You know what I'm saying? Can do what is.

Yeah, fuck that. But yeah, so, so, so Rubenheim hard as hell for the kid, man. And he legit can dance. I ain't never seen a husky motherfucker like that who can do backflips on a phone. On a fucking die. After he's been dancing for two fucking minutes straight, bro, you dance for like 30 seconds straight.

You might as well to ran a 10K. And this motherfucker is busting out fucking backflips. They're in the middle of two minute long dance or things. Like, how in the fuck? In a kitchen. In a kitchen. He's been a backflip in a kitchen. There's very little room for mistakes in that, bro.

You feel me? Went crazy. No boy said, why are you talking like that? Because I've been dancing my motherfucking ass off. My nigger, fuck you think. You saw me. You saw the back lip, Drew Skeek. You saw that shit, you feel me?

I love it, bro. And he, I mean, bro, he's cold. Whatever, whatever happens, whatever he gets out of that he deserves, man. I hope he gets everything he wants. Like what you're saying, like, can't live with what if. So he went crazy, you know what I'm saying? For his opportunity. So, I just, it was just cool to see.

all right we have some culinary related topics before we wrap the show up the first is the breaking news that much to our own uh tyler aka dragonfly jones is chagrin i love it it turns out that uh he is a huge lifelong string cheese fan i have not known peace since this revelation this bomb show a few days ago bro like All right, so it all started, you know, John hit the motherfucking group chat. He was like, bro, I was sleeping on string cheese. That shit goes crazy. And then we had a whole conversation.

I was like, bro, I never fucked the string cheese. Like, even as a kid, like, I was telling you, I know y'all remember the whole string cheese agenda to make that shit a cool snack for, like kids. Like, they had motherfuckers in commercials rollerblading and skateboarding and surfing and eating strength cheese and shit. I was like, that shit weak. Right?

I was like, that shit weak. That shit hit me between the eyes. I will take down a whole fucking bag of string cheese. She's solo just without even realizing I did it. Just watching basketball. Oh, shit, I ate 18 strings. Oops. Oopsie.

Guess I got to finish the bag now. There's only two left now. If my mom sees it's only two in here. She's going to be mad. I ate so many of them. If I eat them all, maybe she'll forget we ever had it. For sure, the string cheese agenda for sure hit their target demo. But I always thought that shit was weak.

Even as a kid, I knew that was white people's shit and I ain't fuck with it. And then to my chagrin, the revelation that mozzarella sticks, which I have a mozzarella stick enthusiast. I fucking love mozzarella sticks. With some motherfuckinara bitch, what? Finding out that mozzarella sticks are fried string cheese sticks. And I have been in big string cheese pockets this whole fucking time,

unknowingly, it shook my whole world. If I have not no peace, I have had to make a mistake. I have had to make amends of my wife who was a string cheese lover. You called, who I used to clown over this shit. I used to clown the fuck out of my wife for loving string cheese.

I have called her an 11-year-old white boy, and I found out I would be 11-year-old white boy. It was a turn of a miss I was ill-prepared for. You thought you were Tyler, and it turned out you were tied. No! But, yeah, it's been quite the revelation. and, you know, to get to Twitter, and of course, anything, you fucking, whatever subject

you bring up on Twitter, you're going to have some fucking experts. That's crazy how everyone on there is fucking links them out some way. And people were talking about how there are, you know, pizzerias that do use strange cheese. And then there's some pizzerias who get a fucking brit of mozzarella. And they cut that bitch up. I was like, God damn, I did not know motherfuckers was selling bricks of moths out of this bitch, right? So you basically cut up the brick, you put some powder and you cook it. Bro, a mozzarella stick is a crap rock.

the cheese world if you really look at it. And I had no fucking idea. My eyes have been open so much throughout all of this. The fucking Jackals fruit is, as Mike calls it. Bro, you've been gnawing on the jackals fruit your entire life. Mike, when you said that, the Jackals fruit made me laugh.

When you said entire life, I literally gasped looking at my fucking text, bro. Because then I'm like, I sent you all the picture of my gig, like, look at all this motherfucking cheese in this shit. You know what I'm saying? And then, like, I was like, I was hungry and shit. shit hadn't had shit, you know what I'm saying?

Like, let me try some of this shit. I don't see these motherfuckers maxing this and I'm like, damn, this motherfucker go crazy. How to give me another? I had two. I ain't tell you all that part. I had two of the motherfuckers. Right. On a hot day, some cold mozzarella fresh out of the, you know, and I mean, my grandparents,

my grandpa would he would just eat mozzarella. He didn't even need it in this. I didn't even know it was mozzarella. I didn't even know string cheese was mozzarella. I thought it was just string cheese. That's why Tyler's right about the agenda But like it's just if you like the cheese on pizza Or like that mozzarella is the best cheese

It's basically like It's so chewy and fucking delicious Like I don't know It's it's the absolute best But what trip me out Is John got hit with the modern propaganda Which was calling string cheese A health food

Which I still can't wrap my fuck They try to say it's a protein packed Healthy snack Google that shit. Google Lime It's 400% saturated fat. It's just cheese. You saw that? Did you, is it?

I mean, obviously. I saw the link you said. I mean, I know it's not healthy for you. I am an Italian person who's aware of the life expectancy of my people. Thanks to our diet. Well,

because I remember them telling us it was a healthy thing when we were kids too. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I look at it. Well, because they were trying to tell his milk was healthy. Right, right, right. You know what I mean?

It was like whole milk. Cheese. You need four. Well is the Someone pointed this out About the food pyramid Recently The food pyramid we grew up with

Said you needed Four full servings of carbs Or something God damn It's like you gotta eat At least eight slices of bread a day If you want to be healthy We're the

As far as health We're probably the worst generation Of all time We were eating shit Like vegetables out of cans My nigga You feel me? You know what I'm saying

We were lied to about all Like you were like string cheese And shit Bro That chef, chef R.D and all that. Tuna helper? I thought that was health food. I'm like, this is a nice, healthy man.

That shit was fucking fucking, killing the kids with this fucking shit. Glory grains and shit. When our parents and grandparents got nostalgic for food, it was some home cooked, something fresh out of the oven. When I get nostalgic for food, I go to the store and buy myself cherry pop tarts and fruit by the foot. Because that's the shit that I wish I had more of as a kid. You got to stop that. That's why.

I ain't had a pop to order of food by the foot maybe two decades, my nigga. You wait till your daughter gets old enough to start wanting the food that you wanted when you were a kid, that your mom wouldn't buy for you. You know what I mean? I don't bring that bullshit in the house, bro. I can't, oh, Jesus, man.

Don't tell me this. Please, God. I'm scared now, bro. I can't have fucking gushes in the crib. Oh, good. Kids go crazy from gushers. I know, man. But the problem for you is she's going to hit an age

that my kids are at where you don't control the information that goes into her eyeballs anymore. She has friends with ideas and she sees commercials for things. She goes to the store with you and goes, oh, that one's got rainbow colors. You're like, right, but it's just corn syrup. And more corn syrup wrapped in corn syrup. Corn syrup and the FDA amount of plastic that has been approved to the animal. You feel me?

That's all it is. Okay, we have to talk about another food item, which is they opened a Popeye's in English. And it apparently had the effect on England that like Like if we had dropped a nuclear bomb on that country As people said, I won't recover for a week The spice level is it crazy how they Bro that is not the us is. That is the thems saying that nigga

The diaspora is strong out there You know what I'm saying? Take your ass back to fish and chips My Africa there is rooted heavily in, like, fucking... Caribbean, right, right, right, right. So they are spices their shit over there for the usas, but the thems. So it ain't the whole UK. It's the them's in UK, you feel I mean?

But that shit may be like, like, have y'all ever seen? There was like a tweet going around years ago where someone took a picture of like a very heavily spiced Kouraged Dorito. It says of a shit like, if I gave this to a middle age as peasant, they would have a seizure or something like that. And I was like, I was like, this is like, the real life the real life equivalent of that. This is what would happen

if we went back to 12, fucking 38 and gave some pheasants a fucking spicy piece of chicken. Tongues were just having the top layers of skin flayed off like they were too close to the sun or something. Just like couldn't even get it into their mouth. What was wildest in the comment

seeing like how, oh my God, I'm not the only one that felt this way. Like it was hell of people that was bugging out. You know what I'm saying? Over how spicy, regular Popeyes is, gee. What the fuck are y'all making any fish and chips, nigga?

You know what I'm saying? Y'all season the fucking fish? Probably not. It's a lot of red meat and salt, and that's about it in England, bro. It's not, I mean, I've spent a couple of weeks. I heard the food isn't good there. Is that a fact?

I've spent a couple weeks. You know what's good about it is if you're not eating the white people's stuff? Like Indian food in England is crazy. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of Indian people. It's actual Indian food. It's not the Americanized,

version of the shit. Right. So food in England is just like food in America. It's like if you're getting the stuff that people who immigrated to the country made it's good. But actual like English heritage like English breakfast and shit. It's I mean no thanks. Blood pudding. Yeah. I thought they have beans for breakfast and shit like nigga. Like nigga you don't keep that weak ass shit. Bean, I will never forget when I had heard about the beans on toast and I was like okay that that doesn't sound weird because I thought it was like maybe a bean paste or something that they put out. These motherfuckers are it's just beans up the can or a piece of I was like, what in the fuck is this?

God damn. Did somebody post a picture? It was like a proper breakfast. They was like, bitch. Oh, Twitter. He got fired up for like a week and a half over their fucking beats. For eating the English equivalent

of like a Denny's Grand Slam. Right. Just super regular, you know, when we, when we, when Jay and I went and covered the Olympics in London, we stayed with a family that was Italian. They had immigrated to England from Italy. And we spent three weeks

just making fun of English food. He's just like, yeah, our kids, you know, friends come over to the house and I cook for him and it's like, they think I'm a wizard, you know? Bro, wasn't that image pre this nigga eating beans?

Because imagine all the, if those would have collided, bro, this nigga eaten beans on Twitter when he posted that shit for proper breakfast, bitch. That would have been our version of being a middle-aged peasant. getting the heavily seasoned

Cool Ranch Dorito. It would have been too much spice for us. Okay, speaking of the wrong food at the wrong time, the last thing we got to talk about before we get out of here, Tyler quote tweeted a picture of Richard Nixon's last meal of his presidency. Think about this moment.

He's going to become like, I think the first or second American president ever to resign. You're giving up the White House. You're giving up having a 24 hour a day chef who could make anything you want, any way you want it, whenever you want it. Mr. President Nixon

Before you depart these grounds forever What do you want for your last meal And he ordered slices of pineapple Topped with cottage cheese And a glass of whole milk That's a devil That's a dastardly shit there, bro I heard he ate that shit every morning

You know what I'm saying? We should have known something about this motherfucker You feel me? That bitch was dastory I was taking a back scene I had cottage cheese and pineapples and milk You are a serial killer What in the fuck is that?

That bitch is a criminal He did all of that shit We did all of that shit He was like you know But we need to investigate him some more Because I'm sure there's some other shit That we don't even know about If you eat some shit like that

Every day before fucking taking out policy And fucking doing your job What in the fuck? Bro, you can see the trauma in the mill Like you can see this motherfucker Went through some shit If this would eat every fucking morning You can see him

You know what I'm saying? That doctor. That doctor evil ass shit that motherfucker was eating. I had never seen that super villain ass mill like that before. And I got a question, y'all. I'm not too full. Like I know Nixon and Watergate and all that shit. I know he was like covering up like, you know, theft.

You know what I mean? As well as like bugging like the Democratic, you know what I'm saying? They broke into the Democratic National Committee's headquarters and were stealing stuff at his order. and he taped himself talking about doing it. So what was the purpose of this? Like, what was the purpose of, like, I know, I'm no up Watergate. It was an election year.

He was trying to get the inside scoop on their strategy. Which, which when we look at, like, that seems like I said, kids are going to look in the history books and see the shit Nixon did and see why he had to leave office and look at the shit Trump did. And didn't leave office and be like, what in the fuck? You know what I'm saying? Because that shit seems like child's play. You know what I'm saying from a fucking 20-22 is when we look at shit, man.

My friend Ryan, who we were talking about before the show, was a political science major, and he had a political science professor who believed that Richard, this dude was very liberal, but he believed that Richard Nixon was an American hero for having shame for getting caught, apologizing, and leaving the office in disgrace. Because he said, and this was like pre-George W. Bush getting caught lying about why we were going to Iraq. This was pre-Donald Trump, obviously. He said, you will never see a politician do that again. in your life because the lesson that

they learned from Richard Nixon was if you don't apologize and you just say the media is making it up, you can do whatever the fuck you want. So he's the only present to resign, but I'm wondering like he would have been impeached like he would have been booted after you know what I'm saying? He'd have been booted to the fuck out.

That's why he left, right? Tyler, it was the Republicans that turned on him. It's like, you can leave or we could fire you basically. Right, right. Back when Republicans weren't, you know, fucking so blindly loyal to the party that they would never hold themselves accountable for shit like they do now. But yeah, different day, man.

Different era. And not just over the politics, but back when the president, I mean, can you imagine if we found out Joe Byron was eating pineapple? I mean, he probably does eat some wild old man shit, too. I know he eats more ice cream than I do, which is fucking crazy. But pineapple cottage cheese and the milk makes it twice as worse to me. Washing it down with more cheese, basically. Milk, cottage cheese.

cheese and cheese to drink, nigga. That's some crazy shit, bro. Richard Nixon, rotten hell. All right, that's our time on Jake's about us. We'll be back on Wednesday. Go St. Peters, please. No, man. Sparres.

It's not happening. UNC going to be Duke, bro. I think UNC going to be Duke. St. Peters ain't being Duke, bro. That's a, you bet you wanted. You're right. St. Peters, that's a lob, nigga. Take your ass to the chip.

They're going to cook. Who's going to stop Paulo? I love Shaheen. I think they got some dogs, but hey, I just, they ain't got the horses, my boy. You're right. We'll see you guys on Wednesday. Bye.

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