The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins and Jonez - We can't ignore Chet

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

The guys dive into the world of vacuums, and why vacuums don't vacuum anymore. They also discuss the standstill between the Nets and Lakers, what the future may hold for Chet after one Summer League game, and the joy that is sleeping in the movies. #HerdSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Only gambling problem. Call 1-800 Next Step to 533442. Welcome to Jenkins & Jones on the Volume Podcast Network. It is Wednesday, July 6th, and we've got all kinds of. of important Caucasians in the NBA world to talk about at John and Tyler's White Party Week. Hey, man. We can't ignore Chet, bro.

We can't ignore it. Tyler said it's a white party weekend. As always, Jenkins and Jones hosted by my good buddies Dragonfly Jones, aka Tyler. Hey, everybody. I've again. Legethro Jenkins, aka John. What's that, Bubba's. I'm Gartie B.

A.K.A. Mike. And before we get into the basketball, I've been informed that vacuums aren't vacuuming anymore. I was unaware of this phenomenon, Jonathan. We got all this new technology, bro. You know what I mean? And we forgot vacuums, bro. The ancestors of vacuums would not be happy right now, bro. The 1980s vacuums would look at these.

Like, what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? The OGs are sucking their teeth right now. The OGs, look at them like, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the one thing where all diggers would be like, yo, vacuums ain't the same no more. And it's true.

We don't see no lines and shit. They don't even smell good like they, they used to. You know what I mean? He's just about like a perm. You know what I mean? I need that back. You know what I'm saying? When you were a kid vacuum in like the 80s and 90s, it was a two-way fight because one, you were pushing it and two, you were fighting the battle of the vacuum actually trying to suck the fucking floor through the vacuum. You know what I'm saying? Right. So yeah. And that is not the case with vacuums anymore today, for sure. You turn the vacuum off and the shit fall out the vacuum. What the fuck type of world we living in,

bro, it's 2022. Y'all motherfuckers talking about they, we ain't got Huffercrass. We have actually lost vacuums, okay? Bro, we need to run that. Hey, somebody need to figure that out, bro. We lose the recipes, bro. We lose the recipes. We need that motherfucking vacuum back.

Jeez. Bring me back to Hoover, nigga. You feel me? Hey, we would joke about boppers being Hoopers. Bro. Bro. That would not be a joke. If they were, he was using these current vacuums, bro.

Trash and Dyson's just don't hit the same, bro. Dyson's don't hit the same. They know, no, no. Okay, I asked the internet. I need to throwback. I ask the internet, I have, I have a scientific reason for the vacuum issue. Vacuums used to be much more expensive by relative dollars. They've always cost about $200, but that used to be the same price as like a dishwasher or a washer and a dryer.

Vacuums, because for whatever reason, maybe people didn't want to buy them, uh, a, you know, when they moved or whatever, vacuums have stayed about the same price where all those other things cost like 600 bucks now, right? So basically what the internet says is if you buy a vacuum that costs as much relatively as they did in 1960, the suction is still better. But basically, most vacuums are cheap sort of like vacuum knockoffs. But they said the $1,000 vacuums are fucking still vacuuming. Dyson's $500. They ain't vacuuming like they're supposed to. I pay $500 for a vacuuming.

it ain't vacuuming. I got a problem with that. Okay. This is America. All right. Speaking of not being happy with what you paid for, let's talk about the Brooklyn Nets. Where, where are we? I thought we were, I was so excited. I spent all Sunday at Vincent's birthday party looking at my phone because I thought we were about to get Kyrie on the Lakers. And now I'm hearing that basically both sides are just like kind of chilling. Where are we at right now? What are our hopes as Braun fans? What do we think is going to happen next, Tyler?

I think everyone's just kind of exhausted and tired because it was such like when that shit hit, that motherfucker hit like a meteor. You know what I'm saying? Like, yo, KD and Kyrie are gone, right? And now it's been a fucking 10 days later. There's been no movement. I think it was just kind of exhausting.

I think everyone's tired of fucking being on keen alert and not getting duped out by Blachier report tweets and shit. You know what I? NBA central lo? NBA centraile with an I and that motherfucker, right? So, yeah, I think everyone, I think a lot of people, I know I damn sure. I'm exhausted of the fake sources. I'm exhausted of no movement.

I'm just kind of like, eh, whatever happens happens, fuck it. Every time you see one of them just block them, man. Make your world easy, dog. Get them to fuck out of your, out of your time line, you feel me? But, yeah, I just, I mean, bro, I think the Nets are handling it the way they should, bro. They have Katie and Karee. You know what I mean? When are they going to have people?

pieces like this to, you know what I'm saying, on their team or to trade, you feel me? So, yeah, they're taking their time to get what they want or the best deal that they can. And I'm just glad the Warriors pulled out because Jesus, fucking Christ, can't get the Warriors again? I'm good on that, bro. I would, I would, I would, I would deserve that, okay? They do not deserve that.

I would DM Kevin Durant. And I would want to have a heart to heart with that man if he went to the Warriors. You're going to put us through that. again? We already saw that. But I mean, yeah, I mean, the Nets have no reason to rush. Like, I still think it's fucking stupid as shit to trade KD. and Kari, but if you're going to do something stupid, at least do it

in a smart way like they're seeming to do. So, you know, good on them, I guess. Bro, Joe's side wilding, though. I'd rather have people that want to be here. Nigel what? You're going to be the only nigga in the stands? Fuck you mean. Like I said on Twitter, Jay's he didn't gentrify Brooklyn for this. You feel me? He

sold out his homies for this. You know? for what, I know we've all seen that that infamous tweet where homie said, I just asked my landlord to raise my rent, that's how much I believe in my hustle.

Motherfuck I said, that's Joe side, dog. Fuck, Ro, he's trying to play the game on zombie mode? Why, big a shit? Fuck wrong with you, man.

Get you some dogs, you weirdo. I'd rather have people that hear and want to play. You fucking sound silly, okay? You sound dumb. All that money to be stupid.

They don't make no damn sense. Jeez. Well, I'm going to start our fake account. Jinko and Jones is reporting that Kyrie and KD went to the Lakers for a 2028 second round pick. So very excited for the upcoming season. So we'll see what we can do with that. Josiah, like, amnesty him, amnesty him. Like he's, yeah.

Josiah, Susiah push of the wildest shit. We didn't see the motherfucker at amnesty in a minute, though. I think we're way overdue, dog. Hey, let's see what happened. Fuck it. Tyler, you've sort of, you've been arguing with the internet, and I'm not really sure what people disagree with about your take, because your take is basically that team shouldn't be stupid.

So I don't really understand what people have been arguing with you about. Everyone arguing against me is coming from a place of pride, and that pride shit is stupid. You know what I'm saying? Everyone's well, you can't let these guys run the franchise. Yeah, yeah, you can't. You absolutely fucking can't. You've been doing it for three fucking years.

You know what I'm saying? You gave these, those preferential treatment, let them walk all over you for three years. Then you decided it's time to play horrible and it's time to talk money? You can't do that. You cannot put that cat back on that bottle, bro. That shit will blow up in your face

and we've seen how it's done now. And for one, I don't get how, you know, the next whole front office, their whole stance is, you know, they're holding, you know, the whole, you know, the whole, you know, Kyrie missing games because of the vaccine mandate against them. I'm like, bro, if you wanted to play horrible with Kyrie,

that was the time. That was the time to tell Kyrie, look, everyone on this roster is committed to playing 82 this season. If we don't get some buy-in from you on this, we're going to have to replace you. That was the time to play horrible. But for one, they didn't. And two, their whole of that is the big joke in these negotiations when, you know, for one, like I said, that mandate doesn't even exist anymore. And two, you penalizing in for some shit that you already signed off on.

You know what I'm saying? That front office is fucking idiotic. The way they handle this is terrible, bro. And I do not believe motherfuckers are defending them. Because basically, Kevin said, yo, I'm locked in for five years. Lock Kyrie and long term, too. Y'all know what it was. And the next one, like, no.

And KD said, okay, I want out. Kari said he wants out to. And everyone's like, way to go, Nets. You put your foot down on that one. Handle that great. No, the fuck they did it. It was a fucking cluster fuck. They fucked that all up.

And players run these franchises. Fuck you mean. The guide to your players? If you're going to have somebody run the franchise, it might as well be KD. You know what I'm saying? The fuck you mean. You feel me?

One of the top 10 ever to play the fucking game. I'd much rather have him running it than anybody else. Fuck you mean. Well, I mean, like the time to address this is the next CBA. Like Joe Sy has just got to acknowledge that under the current structure of the league, he's getting fucked. You know what I mean? Like you fucked it up and you're getting fucked in response. I think what you see all of the sort of like inside basketball minds say, like the next CBA is going to be a blood bathroom.

for players, right? Those owners coming for their corners, bro. It's just going to get ugly, man. But that's when that's going to happen. It's not going to happen in one interpersonal. I'm going to approve myself so that when I walk into that meeting with the owners, these 29 other guys think I'm a good dude. But I fucked my business up in the process.

Like, you know, it's coming where there's going to be greater penalties for players trying to exert this sort of influence, et cetera. But that's not the current rules. And you have to play the game by the current rules of the game, and you have to play, you have to manage your front office by the current rules of the league. And they're trying to get around that. And I say Tyler put on his HR hat about this a couple episodes ago. I put on my parenting hat.

You cannot let behavior go for three years and then turn around and go, oh, I can't believe you did this. Like, you said, they signed off on the vaccine mandate. shit. You already told him it was okay. So you're going to come around and go, this is a sign he wasn't committed. Well, you were committed to him when you let him get away with that. You were committed to his non-commitment. So what the fuck that say about y'all? And there were plenty of people who disagreed with that. That's not like that was an obvious thing. And to me, that was a much, that was much more of a time to play hardball than now. Because you're exactly right.

You cannot do players first, your partners in our business like Matt Sullivan was talking about, and then turn around and say, buddy, you missed a shift. You're fucking out of here. Right. Anyway, all right. Let's talk about Brian Windhorst. Windhorst, horse of the wind. Two fingers up for safety.

Not just one, two for safety, my name. I've never seen a monologue like that. I would actually watch sports television if it was more weirdos doing weird shit instead of dummies pretending to argue. You know what I mean? He did YouTube shit on TV. He did some YouTube shit on TV, and it was great. Right.

I love the insider foe, but yeah, man, get crazy with some conspiracy theory shit, too, man. You know, sprinkle that in every now and then. Give us a little razzabazz. More fingers, too. We need more of that. That's played. We need this. We need the double finger.

The double finger is nice little touch to it. When she asked, are they trying to make room for Kevin? And he just kept his finger up and he closed his eyes. He's like, no, come on. It's deep. Utah Jazz Kevin, no. And funny shit is he concluded that by saying

he has no idea what they're doing either. But he just knew Kevin Durant to Utah. That ain't it. He didn't say shit, but it was fun. What's going on to Utah? It was smart as fuck because they did the thing then where it was like, okay, the Gobert trade happened

and everyone is immediately like, Wind Horse. It was like, maybe. He was going to be right no matter what happened because of how many. he kept the shit. That was the smartest thing he ever did. Right.

Keep an eye on Utah. Right. The motherfucker's free agency. Keep an eye on everybody. The fuck. More win horse. More win horse, though. But that's what we concluded for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. Shouts to win horse because, hey, this has been his, this has been his offseason. He's been mopping shams and goddamn whoa, your ass up, bro. It's like Chris Haynes in like 2018.

You know, wasn't it 2018 when Chris Haines was cooking everybody? Yeah. He had his, I mean, you have a, if you got to end with the right guy. That was when Haynes broke the, the motherfucking Kauai. Haynesbrokeh,

and Kareita, then that's summer I think. I think Kauai as well. He had a Kauai joint. You know, Dane was a big story. He had a big game story, too.

He was going crazy, bro. Hey, look, like, it's a, it's a superstars league for the media, too. If you have a good end with one player

and that's the player everyone wants information about. Yeah. Yep. It doesn't really, you know what I mean? Yeah, that was summer 19

because I remember he gave us that story where Dane was just fucking eating his dinner and he just said, I'm sending these motherfuckers home tomorrow without looking up from his plate and shit. I was like, God damn this motherfucker cold. That's when he hit that shot that blew up the whole fucking OKC franchise. Bro, I remember I was watching with my brother and he said he was a West, he's a Westbrook

fan, you know what I mean? The heartbreak. Me too. It was, it was, bro. Shara and I watched that on vacation in Palm Springs. We were in the, we had like a little, a nice little setup for us and the kids. We were in the room watching the game. I'm a big Russ fan.

Shar and I are both Thunder fans. And I literally just fell. Like, you know, your body goes limp and you just fall over? I just fell on the bed like that when he hit the shot. I was like, uh, when you got the ball, I'm talking about my little brother. I'm like, Logo Lillert. Logo Lillard. And he pulled that motherfucker from the logo, dog.

I long, we both lost that shit. Cannot not believe it. What a fucking shot. You know what you're not going to see Chris Haynes doing either? KD didn't respond to my text. So I'm not, you know, he can. fucking find a new reporter. Talk to.

Who did this? No, I've just said Joe Si is doing that. It's like, hey, man, whether you like it or not, you work for Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving. You might not like that power dynamic. You sign their checks, you know what I'm saying? You sign the checks, but no one's coming to see you.

I mean, and that is different. Like, that's whenever people try and use the workplace analogies about sports, it's the stupidest fucking thing in the world. When you go to a car store, you go to buy a BMW. You don't go to buy a BMW made by Kevin, but when you go to a Nets game, you're not going to a Nets game,

you're going to a Kevin Durant game, right? That's how all of us buy tickets. You and I talk about that? Like, oh, the Bucks are in town. It's not the Bucs are in town. It's, oh, I can see Bronny Janus. Right, right, right. Like, that's what the league is.

And that's not new. That's what's so incredible to me. It's not like this is a new development. Like, that's how basketball has been forever, but at least for the last 30 years since Michael Jordan, bro. Come on. Right, right.

Katie's out, but Joe Sy's here. It'll be okay. Like, nobody gives a fuck about that. Joe's going to do an autograph signing after the game. Right, you think that kid is happy. It's cool with that. Fuck you mean. Get the fuck out of here.

Come get a photo with Joe Sy after the game. Right, right. He's going to unveil his new signature sneakers. Joe's size. The Joe Sy's. Hocus. Fucking Joe Sy on the cover of 2K this year. The fuck you mean, get the fuck out of here.

All right. You guys wanted to talk about an additional Caucasian. So let's do it. How about this? Let's make it a segment. We got to talk about them. Let's make it a segment. We got to talk about them.

Let's do our summer league overreaction of the week. And this week's overreaction is Chet Holmgren. Gentlemen, the floor is yours. You always got beef. You always got some beef. Go ahead. No beef. No beef.

No beef. I know some of you guys have seen the, the videos mashups with him and, you know, some legends that they put together with him and Dirk, with him and KD doing the whole little spin move, you know, jab step fade away. I mean, I don't know why everyone was so, you know, I'm not at all saying, yeah, he's proving all the haters wrong.

It was one quarter in a fucking summer league game, right? We'll see how it pans out. I mean, but for one, I thought that, I think the chess is going to be solid. I don't think he's going to be a superstar world breaker type player, but I think he's going to be solid, and I think a lot of people think he's going to be a bust. and I think because, you know, he's skinny as hell.

But like I said, you know, in the group chat, I was like, bro, we heard the same shit about Kevin Garnett. We heard the same shit about Kevin Durant. Same shit about Brandon Engel. And they said the same shit about Janus. And that motherfucker is a Greek god now. You know what I'm saying? Like, these 20-year-old kids, they fill out, bro. Like, so that's skinny knock.

That's something I don't really hold against guys. I hear you on KD and even KG. But that motherfucker motherfucker Yonis, he, that's a, he's not, he's Nigerian. They differ. So you could count on some things. That motherfucker was a street being when he came into the league, though. Oh, yeah, yeah. And not to get too gross about it,

because I hate some of the physical projection shit. And I've seen that firsthand. Like Nike could tell you what your 13-year-old is going to look like at 20. I mean, they're very scientific about the shit. Yonis has some measurements in terms of his shoulder width and some of the other measurements they use to show how much muscle your frame can hold that suggested a bit of a difference. different future. Chet, Chet's measurements project out a little bit differently, more like a KG or

someone who can put muscle on, he could get stronger the way that KD has or whatever, but he's probably, he's not going to, Janice is a, like you said, that's a one in a, that's a one in a million, but also it comes with like nutrition and everything else. I mean, like he, you know, he was selling sunglasses on the fucking street two years before draft day. Like, you know what I mean? He just, his, his path is a little different, but you're right about Chet. That knock usually doesn't end up being a knock. My thing with that is like, let's stop saying, like what we're talking about to stop comparing him to the guys.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Chet will be lucky to have Keith Van Horn's career. You know what I mean? Like 12 years in the season. Getting a bucket. I think Pete Van Horn, I think he averaged like 18 a game or some shit. You know what I mean?

Like he'd be lucky to have Keith Van Horn's career. Let's start, you know, comparing these people to people like that, you know. I think it was an early pick, three, four, something like that. You feel me? but I think Timmy D when I was at Timmy D draft So nobody going to get picked over Timmy D But yeah So that's my thing

You know what I mean Like I mean He'll be a solid player He'll be a solid player You know what I mean He has the ability to be You know what I'm saying But it's just comparing them to these guys

It's just be wild to me like Showing Dirk and KKD Bro, that's come on man I'm pro overreaction Like the summer league is for watching your team Like it's for Kings fans Watching their team win And then getting fucking like

Like that's what is for. You know what I mean? Like I'm pro overreaction. But I do think. That's not help Chet though. That won't help Chet putting him next to these guys. And he averages 16 points a game. And now he's a bus because he's not fucking KD.

Bro, he was never going to be KD. You feel what I'm saying? Right. I think you can overreact without putting an unnecessary burden on a player. You know what I mean? Like the Lakers, I mean, lots of teams that have a guy who comes out and has a really good game. But it's not fair to him, especially to size. Because there's also clips from that game of him getting absolutely back.

mattered around in the paint. You know what I mean? Like, it's, it's not fair to say to him. I mean, to me, and I, it's, for the people for whom it's all in good fun, cool, but you also know that there's people for whom it's not in good fun. The mashups with Dirk Novitsky after one quarter of the summer league game, bro. You know, I wouldn't, I just wouldn't do that to a human being. That's how I feel.

But it's, but it's, but it's, but I wouldn't want that if I was Chet. I mean, Chet seems extremely confident, you know what I mean? He's talking about how, you know, who's the best playing the league, me. I'm laughing emoji after his first summer league game, so he's feeling pretty confident for sure. Right, right, right, right, right. Right between my eyeballs. Well, what's the shit he said two months into the season?

He's going to be top five in the league. What was that? They said something like, who's the best player in the league? He was like, when I'm in it, I'll be the best player in the league once I'm drag. Something like that. So I like you said, I think you said in the group chat, Tyler, like, yeah, bro, you don't want to be. Don't put the target on your back, boy.

Don't do that. I love the confidence. I'm sure guys out there like Jahl Morant and other guys might have something to say about that when they see you on the company. Or Joel M. B. You know what I mean? You're honest of people who are physically capable

of folding you into a suitcase. Ammunition that you don't need them to have for your rookie year. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like Tic Tyler said, John Morant will put you on a clip that will potentially turn your career a different way.

It will potentially outlast you. You don't have to go to therapy. After what John did. You know what I mean? Like, bro, get you a solid therapist. You're talking this shit just in case. You know what I mean? You get on the court with these real life savages, dogs

that will embarrass you in front of your whole family and friends, bro. Watch out, man. It's not safe out there. Jock can turn anyone into, anyone's name into a verb at any moment. You feel me? You know what I mean? You got chetted. By Jha.

John chatted your ass. You feel me? Watch out. Watch out. Be safe. This baseball. season turn k's into cash and big hits into big wins with fan dual sports book right now new customers can step up to the plate with a no sweat first bet up to one thousand dollars just sign up

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RG. We did have a huge trade, sort of predicted by Wind Horse, that I wanted to talk about with you guys from minute because I actually think I ended up on the other side of most people on this. Timberwolves get Rudy Gogert, Jazz get Malik Beasley, Patrick Beverly, a bunch of other guys, and four first round picks. I had a lot of friends texting me like they overpaid for Gobert, for Gobert. This is the worst trade ever, et cetera, et cetera. I think this is a great move by the Timberwolves, to be completely honest. Am I wrong? What do you think about it? I think that's a, I think I, I I think that would be a reasonable price for Gobert if he was the last piece needed on a championship contender,

and I don't feel like that's the case here. So I think the price is a bit too steep. That makes sense. Yeah, I think the price is a bit too steep for where the Timberwolves are at, if that makes sense. I think the Celtics getting bragged in is a bigger move because that gets Tatum on ball and it gets somebody that takes care of the ball,

50, 40, 90 guy. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a big, they're going to take a big step with just, you know, Brown and Tatum just having to get buckets now. You know what I'm saying? Like, they ain't don't have to handle the ball as much. And that was a big issue, those turnovers, Broding don't turn the ball over.

You feel me? So it'll give you 18 a game. You know what I mean? So I think that's a bigger step, in my opinion. I totally agree, but I do think that that kind of highlights exactly what my point is, which is, like, there's teams that are competing for championships, and there's teams that are not competing for championships. And the Celtics, that is Celtics, Warriors.

Like, there's a couple teams in that sphere of, like, any move they make, you're thinking about what that's going to look like in June. I had a friend text me. I mean, cool that they got Gobert. They definitely got better, but they're a 50-win team with a second-round exit. And you gave up four first-round draft picks for that. And what I said to him was,

I think you're exactly right. However, that team has made it to the second round once, ever. Damn, damn. 2004, that year, KG won MVP? Yes. Was that one? What was that one? Was that one?

A boy playing point two? Barbarry? Yeah, that they... No, no, not, not, Cassel. Cassell, okay. But they made it to... Sam Cassell? Yeah, I'll bark it, bro.

But they made it to the... Sleever. They made it too much... That was the big nut... Oh, yeah. That alien cahoop. Yeah. That alien cahoop, dog.

I used to love Sammy. But, yeah, they, you know, they had a deep playoff run that year. That's the only time they've been out of the first round. They've won 50 games four times in franchise history, and I think three of them were with KG. So you saw how crazy that fan base went when they won a play in game. I mean, we're talking about the players, but the players were doing that because the fans were going fucking ape shit for winning a playing game.

So if you're running a team like that, this is a smaller market team that realistically, what percentage of their fans think they're going to go see a championship from that team? Versus now you could win 50 games. You could maybe be a second. You can be a second round team, maybe a little further. And with the West is going to be stacked. But I think it's a great move from a like small town business perspective. And I do.

I just think we like everything in the national media is championship robust. And that's not how almost any sports fans actually watch stuff. People who are fans of a team. I mean like I mean, I've talked about this to you guys. We have friends who are Warriors fans that we believe shit is still like one B to the championships to them. You know what I mean? Like being a team where you had no expectations is taking on the world. Like that's how fans.

fans of teams are. And I know that it's sort of shifting more towards being fans of players in the national narrative stuff. But like, I don't know. I thought it was a good move from that perspective. I think they're putting a lot of expectations on Ant to continuing developing into what we think he could be, like what he's shown early. But if he does, that's going to be an interesting roster, bro. Like, that's going to be a fun team to watch. And as much as I have been Mr. Fuck Rudy Gogert on this podcast, you put him with some actual. a perimeter defense in front of him, which he did not have any of in Utah. That could be a really interesting team, bro.

I really think that that could be an interesting team and could be a fun team to watch this year, too. It's better for his brand for him not to be on Utah. You know what I mean? Better for everyone's brand. I mean, I get you, but like, we don't. Nobody fucks. Only person that fucks Rudy O'Bare is Rudy.

You know what I mean? Like, even the universe doesn't. It set him up in the worst way with the COVID shit. You know what I mean? Like, dog, you feel me? So like him being with the Timberwood. It's much better for his bread. I mean, I don't know, man.

We'll see. I don't, like Tyler's saying, I don't, it's not going to make me watch Timberwolves games. I may have to watch them in the playoffs a couple series, though. And like you said, that's a big deal for them. I like watching them in the playoffs this year because they were stupid and fun. You know what I mean? They were dumb and fun. They were fun, but like, you know, Rudy Gail-Barre, you know, are we really excited about that?

We'll see. All right. Let's, that's the end of our basketball topics. John's very happy we're shifting back to a at least 50% non-sports topics. Once we get that book left back, bro, I'm right where I need to be, dog. Oh, let's talk about it. We'll talk about that for sure. We need to figure that out.

So, first of all, John, I want you to talk about the decision to give up the city life for the suburbs, which you're prime to do. Okay, bro. You know, I'm country. That's where my heart is. You feel what I'm saying? So I may be a little biased But I, you know, y'all know LA's been good to me I was hurting

I was down bad, a broke-ass, bum-ass nigger You say Louis for a long time, dog You know, I was hustling this shit But it was hard for me LA's been real good to me But bro, like going We was just out with the in-laws You know, in the suburbs, you know,

We eating dinner outside, quiet as a motherfucker You feel me? Nothing but the crickets at night, you know what I mean? In the morning, nothing but the birds To like 10, 30 a.m. Ain't shit, pop. And ain't nothing to doing that that motherfucker. We went to Trader Joe's.

That shit went kind of crazy. Macaroni Grill was busting a little bit. And, hey, I'm not a noble-ass nigga. I'm basic as fuck. I'm a basic bitch. You know, give me a good macaroni grill. That's all I need. So it's about desires.

I like regular shit. I love a Trader Joe's. That's my second favorite store on the planet. First one is Lowe's. You know what I mean? So I don't need all the extras. You feel me? I'm a down-home-ass, regular-ass motherfucker.

So the fact that there's nothing to do is good. But the peace and quiet, nigga. LA is fun all the time, bro. I don't want fun. I want nothing. I love doing nothing and having nothing around is great. And so the peace and quiet, bro, I was out there in the morning reading the book out until, you know, until like 11,

didn't hear shit. Wasn't nobody saying nothing did it at a horn. The fucking helicopters weren't going around. You know what I'm saying? Just nothing but peace, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's my whole shit. We got to get rather on board.

Mike, you know what I'm saying? Tyler, we need your brain. You know what I mean? Tyler, we need it with Tyler. We need some lateral thinking, bro. Come bring that HR thinking. Something. We got to figure something out.

You know what I'm saying? We need something out. But to get her, babe, but I'm a country motherfucker. I'll need some motherfuckard and some piece of quiet. You feel what I'm saying? And that shit, bro, that shit was hitting different, dog. Jumping on the street, no traffic. Fuck you mean.

You know what I go to Trade of Joe's? I'm down there and back in 20 minutes. You feel me as far as on the road? Come on, bro. I need that. good living. That's good living. Tyler, are you in the suburbs or the country?

I'm in the burbs. The country hit no, too, though. The country hit, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the country be hitting. I love the country. I love the country. Nick, I go to, oh, go ahead. Yeah, I was going to say, I will never live in the city. I think the city living is cool for if you're like a

25-year-old bachelor or something, but I have no desire to be on the scene anymore, bro. Get me away from that shit. Get me like 15 minutes from the city. Like, that's all I need, though. I got cousins living in Westville, North Carolina. You're from North Carolina. You know how country that motherfucker is, bro.

It's outside of Western Salem, which is a small city. You know what I'm saying? Like, they got, you know what I'm saying? The biggest news is a cow got loose and crossed the street, nigga. They got tractors in that motherfucker. They built a pond in that motherfucker, you feel me? They got the RVs or whatever the fuck them shits is. What's some shit?

Fort Willers or whatever. A.V., you know, whatever. The four-wheelers and shit. Bro, that's me, nigga. look you know what I'm saying you go outside nothing but darkness and crickets and cicadas and shit at night you know get you a nice little wraparound you can get you a fucking big ass house for four dollars you know what I mean shit get you a whole compound you spend an extra teen you get a whole compound nigga you feel me have a gym across you know

bro I need that get you a little snap gym you know the little you know what I'm saying I got eight machines in that motherfucker I only need eight that's all I need shit bro I'm telling bro. This makes me this makes me so happy as someone who was suburbs ready at like 19 years old It makes me so happy I've been loving country shit though I've been loving country shit And city living was like you know for the opportunity

Because St. Louis I couldn't do none of this shit I'm doing now Honestly you know what I mean like I had to leave to do this shit And I miss that shit a lot but the close I'm gonna get to it You know I'm still had this opportunity Isn't these birds out here bro The intermediate step bro Them pictures you be sitting in me Mike living good

bro we gotta hey we're within two miles of a lows and a traitor Joe's I'll throw that in you Robert come on now we just got Hey she just won't look at me like We gotta work on it

We gotta get it to the birds Of the country Cubs, though museums everywhere shit I mean I appreciate it I appreciate it bro But I'm just a regular ass nigga And I love love love love me

Some regular shit bro You know I mean 6 a.m. 7 a.m. 7 a.m. lows runs, sign me up, nigga. You feel me? Bring the shorty with me. I had saw me on my shoulders that was waving to her and shit. You know, she's happy. She dances to the little weak-ass Trader Joe's music, you know what I mean?

Like, that's my whole shit. I'm a family man now. What the fuck else I need? You know what I'm saying? I don't need Delilah. I don't need rooftop fucking brunches, nigga. You feel me? I mean, that's cool.

I don't do it. You feel me? You know what I'm saying? Fuck it. Just need my little golf net. You know what I mean? And a macaroni grill. That's all I need, dog.

They also, I haven't told you this, they have a Mendocino is open in Long Beach now. Hey, tap me in. That's all I was missing. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Y'all got the, Long Beach is cool because it's like,

one thing you kind of, like, lose when you go to the burbs is diversity, but Long Beach got the diversity. Yeah, less so in the suburbs, but it's like you can put your kids in a public school district. That's a good school district, but it's not all, you know what I mean?

You feel me? You feel me? And Somies can be, Somi can be around Somies. You know what I mean? She ain't got to be around Sarah's. We got some balance, you know what I'm saying? I'm shaking her head like,

hey, you know, Tabin, you know, hey, you know what I mean? I love a summer show because we can have an actual debate breakout between a husband and a wife about where to live.

Mid show. That's great. You know what I mean? You don't like Olive Garden? Hey, that shit go crazy. I'm selling. The pepper over the shit. They're treating you well at Olive Garden.

Okay. I have a question. John tweeted about this yesterday, and I'm trying to, I got to bring up the original tweet so I can credit the person who had this incredible zoological observation about men.

So, MX Gilb tweeted. MX Gilb tweeted. men will visibly be falling asleep than deny it as if their lives depend on it. This is true. So true.

Is it not? God, it's true. Oh, my God. I sent the shit to Rother yesterday and then did it last night. As if I didn't tell her the secret. You ever been falling asleep and your snore wakes up.

Like, God damn, that was a lot of base in that motherfucker right there. That was me. Like, I don't know. That sleep was hit, no. That sleep was hit, no, you feel me? Dog, I mean, and I'll be high, too, so that sleep come out of nowhere. You know what I'm saying?

And I'll be dead sleep. You know what I'm saying? Like, no, I'm cool. I'm like, let's go to bed, man. No, I got it. I'm up. Dog, you just saw me when I was blinking, that's all. He called me when I'm blinked.

I remember when me and Summer first started dating, right? And we went to see Layman's Rob. I was totally against that shit. I hated that fucking book since. high school. Summer dinner at her high school, you know, so she wasn't hip to it. And it was a, you know, you, y'all remember when that shit hit? It was a big fucking deal.

Hollywood was raving about it. Everybody loved less miserables. Less miserable. So we went to like this little, um, this little, you know, restaurant type movie there type set up, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was down with that because I was like, okay, I got a free bill to watch a movie that I know I'm going to fucking hate.

And I fell asleep in that shit, right? I didn't even mean to Paulus sleep. But I ate and I fell asleep. And listen, dog. I farted and woke myself up. You was in a slumber, digger. You were hibernated hitting that motherfucker. I was knocked out and I farted and woke myself up in the lay miserab.

God damn, you know, the Cine Bistro is what they call that motherfucker out here. Hey, but how was that experience, that movie experience? It was cool that I literally. Not the movie, the experience itself. Yeah, yeah. The food was great. You know what I'm saying? Like I said, me and summer I first started dating, we were about a year or so deep then.

So, you know, loved being around. still love being around her, but, you know, that new puppy love type shit. So it was a good outing. And like I said, I farted. Like, that was my body. That was a reaction from my soul about how much I hate that fucking stories. So I can hold that close to my heart. He said, I'm going to make you more miserables.

Yeah. The movies are always good. Movies are always good regardless of how good the movie is because I'm going to at least sleep and get some fire ass sleep. If it's a trash-ass movie, I fall asleep, it's great. It's great sleep. If it's a good movie, I don't, I enjoy the movie. You can't miss going to the movies.

So that's why I say 10 out of 10 experience, even if I fall asleep or a trash-ass movie, because I got some great-ass sleep. You know what I mean? The movie there to sleep different, dog. Movie sleep, that might be number two between hotel sleep. No, movie sleep and hotel sex. Bro, I don't know why that hotel's sex, but it'd be. You could mix either of those things up, and it all works.

Movie theaters at hotels are great. for any. Bro. You go to a hotel and go to a movie too? Nigger, come on, G. Bro, that's good living. Simple things, simple things. The best nap, the best nap you get

is if you fall asleep at the movie theater. And when I fall asleep in the movie theater, my head detaches from the, like the top half of my head detaches like I'm a Muppet. You know what I mean? The top half of my head is, like, resting on the back of my neck. You know?

A date. Like a fucking Paz dispens out of this. That's fucking mouth. A gait. Like a South Park character, you know. So you wake up and your throat is dry as fuck from the recirculated air because your mouth was open 180 degrees. And I have my little cherry icy sitting next to me. Drink that with a dry throat.

Eat some popcorn right back to sleep. That sit and hit the back of the neck. That icy from that airport air. You breathe in that motherfucking movie theater, bro. That motherfuckeruck it. Ooh. Special, man. Simple things.

But what part of toxic masculinity is it that we can. cannot admit that we're going to sleep. Is it a weakness that? But seriously, is it a weakness thing? It's a like, can't get called slipping, dog. Like, by your soulmate.

We would take pictures of the homies when they fell asleep. I know, you know what I'm saying? Like, we would stand over motherfuckers clowning when they were sleeping and when they were sleeping and shit. Like,

we would stack any beer, what's wrong with sleeping? Why do we? This nigga was sleep. Like, we would take them pictures and everybody would be laughing because the nigga was sleep. Right.

It's 3 a.m. He was, doing what he was supposed to do and we clowning him. This nigga doing a necessary bodily function over here. Right. It's trauma. It's trauma. That's what it proves us from saying.

It's trauma from all them years. I just love like, I can't let my wife catch me slipping. Bro, you can't let go. See you're so right though. Charle looked at like the worst moment of panic I have in my daily,

boring suburban life is the moment when you realize that the show you were watching is paused because Sharr is staring at my clothes. And she's looking dead at you. And you can't lie. Bro, that is the, bro. I mean, just straight. It's a whole, throughout the whole body, the panic.

You know what I mean? It's like, damn. Yeah, I feel the adrenaline in my toenail. When they're sitting, have you ever seen a dog shitting? Eyes wide open. You know what I'm saying? Bro, it's like, you caught, bro. It's over with.

You can't do nothing. You got to go to bed. You know what I'm saying? Damn. This has to be our, this is the goal. We have to produce sons that are comfortable with the bodily function that we spend a third of our lives doing or a quarter of your lives if you're Tyler, which is we have to be comfortable falling asleep. We have to do it. We have to break these generational curses.

I don't know if that's up to us, though, because he says, he says, he says, with his ass fired up in college though. Come on, bro. You know what I'm saying? That's the game, bro. We'll do our best. We'll do our best. Well, okay, so I had the superpower of the fact that all my friends drank and smoked

and I did not do either of those things, right? But we had a rule in high school and college, which was like, I'm cool for whatever except I don't like the birthday punch thing. I will immediately fight back on that. And I'm going to go to sleep when I'm going to sleep. And if you write anything on me, I'm going to. I'm not going to wake up and think it was in good fun. You know what I mean?

So I got left alone because I was real up front about the rules. About that shit. But absolutely, you know, like pictures, people doing horrible. I mean, all that shit in college for sure is the, you're right. That's where it comes from, for sure. A wild development for me is seeing on Twitter that niggas be doing that right on you and cream shit on, you know what you see in a video? Because that shit, I think we knew a fight came with that. Like, you know, you could do all the goofy shit,

but you threw some water on me. You're my nigger, but I'm going to have to beat your ass. You're going to beat my ass. Somebody's going to get their ass beat over there, you know what I'm saying? But now the youngest is doing that shit. That's crazy. You don't want to. As someone who went to an HBCU, we did not see those shenanigans.

No, no, no, bro. No, sir. A fight came with that. You know what I mean? You do not want to be the first person to fall asleep in a hotel room filled with Samoan dudes, though, because they're prepared for the fight to come with the prank, but they are throwing a tub full of water

on you. And you go wake up trying to fight, and it's not going to be any point to it anyway. You know what I mean? They're going to play with me. They're going to be like, that's cute. Samoans different. They're so different, dog. Oh, man, dude, that's Samoan homies will slapbox in front of their moms. You know what I mean?

Slaping each other hardest fuck, too. Their mom would slapbox the shit out of me. Them shoulders, dog. Come on, dog. Man, they're different. Samoans are Nigerians, though. I just don't want no part. All right. That's all the time we got for Jenkins and Jones. I do have a segment on giant mammals that are extinct now. But we will have to get to that on the next show along with some other weirdo non-basketball shit. John's very intrigued. All right. Oh, man. I'm hurt, loki. We'll be back on Monday. See all then. Bye. Bye.