The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Jenkins & Jonez - The Booger Boy Is Gone

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

The guys discuss Jim Boeheim retiring from coaching, the strange Ja Morant images released over the weekend, Draymond Green vs. Dillon Brooks, boat people, Virginia BBQ, fiber pills, and more.  #Volume #HerdSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The volume. It's Jenkins and Jones, presented by Fandul. The NBA season is kicking into gear, and there's no better place to get in on the action than Fandul. The app is safe, secure, and easy to use. Fanduel has exclusive offers, boosts, and more all month long. When you win, you'll get paid fast. Fanduel has lots of ways to play, like the spread, money line, over, unders, team totals, player props, and so much more. Jump into the action at any time during the game with live betting,

and combine multiple bets from the same game and a same game. game parlay and try out same game parlay plus so download the fan duel app today to start making every moment more disclaimer must be 21 and over in select states gambling problem call 1 800 gambler or visit fanduel dot com slash r g welcome to jangison jones on the volume podcast network it's monday march 13th and we're so excited to be with you on another monday no garfields no garfields on the jenkins and Jones show. We love Monday mornings. Fuck Garfield. Why the fuck did he hate Mondays? That motherfucker ain't even have a

job. A stolen valor by Garfield. Garfield was just Dilbert as a cat. He was just... I think he was just being supportive. He knew we had to go to work. You know what I mean? Can we look at it that way? You know what I mean? No, because he didn't give a fuck about John.

He ain't... I don't think this was a solidarity thing. It was stolen valor. Like... Let's lie to ourselves. I actually love God. I'm talking shit on Garfield. I actually love Garfield. I used to read the Garfield strip every day in the newspaper.

Right. Bro, that motherfuckerfield and friends cartoon? Oh, my God. Classes. Classic. Yes. I would like to recap my statement of fuck Garfield. Thank you.

I just, I love how much of our children's programming when we were kids was about animals who loved to eat Italian food. Like, I roll straight from the Ninja Turtles eating pizza and the Garfield eating lasagna. And I was just like, this is what the world is. It's just animals eating my grandma's cooking. And then the motherfucking Mario Brothers, you know,

goddamn souping up off the mushrooms and shit. Italian cuisine played a very integral part in 90s kids' lives. Why do all black people say Mario Bros? Instead of Mario brothers. Where does that come from? Is Mario Mario Mario? I say Mario. I say Mario, yeah.

I feel like all my black friends said. We have never called him Mario Chalmers, I feel like. I don't know Have we? He's Mario Chalmers I think it's Mario Chalmers. I think it's Mario, yeah. Maybe I don't know.

It's not Mario. Yeah, I don't think there's a Mario anybody. I feel like it was always, but growing up, it was always Super Mario brothers. You know what I mean? We're always going to play Super Mario.

I was like, I don't know a single person that says Super Mario. I mean, Super Mario. But maybe it's regional. Maybe it's regional. All right. Thanks for tuning in with us live on Amazon AMP every Monday and Thursday, as well as the show is dropping on Saturdays now. As always, Jenkins & Jones, that's Dragonfly Jones, aka Tyler, aka Mario. Hey, everybody, I'm again.

That's John, aka Legetro Jenkins, aka Mario. Who was that, Bubba? I feel like I'm still being called a Republican in some way. I still feel like me being a Mario instead of a Mario. It's a Republican tech. But whatever. You know what I'm saying? Maybe St. Louis has a carve-out.

I don't know. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. All right. We have to start off the NCAA tournament bracket is just dropped. We're not going to particularly talk about it, although I'm very excited to watch wall-to-wall college basketball on Thursday and Friday. True TV time, baby. True TV season.

Everyone, your annual reminder, look up what channel True TV is right now. Don't get caught on fucking Thursday. morning searching around. But we do know one person who will not be participating in the NCAA tournament this year is the original Booger Boy himself, Jim Beheim, fired slash retired

at the end of the season, which just feels like the perfect way for Jim Beheim to go out. And I just wanted to say salute to Mr. Boogerman himself. How many college basketball games have y'all watched this year? Zero.

Zero. Are you the ones that I have been paid to write about? Right? Outside of those. Outside of those. Zero. Bro.

Digger. No, but I'm going to watch so much college basketball on Thursday, not knowing a single fucking team. And remember when college basketball was like, oh shit?

You know what I mean? Like, it was just as important to us as like the NBA. There was a time period I feel like that was. I never felt that way about it. I don't know.

I don't know. March Madness was a fucking moment when I was a kid, bro. Dude, 2000. and I think up until probably like 2013, 2012. I think it was like really important.

I'll say 2000. When's the last time Duke, was that 2016? When, uh, what's the name be, Wisconsin? No, it's 2016. Anyway,

I have no idea. The last time Duke won at all. Tyos Jones was a god against Wisconsin. Yeah, it was, yeah. Kaminsky was playing with Wisconsin. 2015. I, since then, like, you know, I think it's,

I don't think people be watching as much, But I think that's when the NBA changed and college basketball didn't follow. And it just seemed like a totally different game. It is definitely, it does definitely feel like just covering games, too. It feels like the NCAA is chasing the NBA in terms of three-point shooting and stuff. And it's just not. It's just not working. You know what I mean?

So I don't know. Yeah. But Thursday or Friday, there will be a lot of clanging rims. But I'm very excited. Jesus Christ. tournament. You guys have anything to say about Jim Beheim, a man who's been caught on television not once, not twice, not thrice, but several times eating his own boogers. He's a fucking bugger eater. That should be the thing at the top of his legacy. You coached, you coached for

84 fucking years with one championship because you were gifted a fucking generational college player. You know, one of the top three one and done college players of all time. That's the only reason your weak ass got a ring. Take the motherfucking bugger. Take your goddamn, your bugger appetizer sampler plate and your little one championship in 60 years of coaching and get your weak ass on, man. And I always said that because Jim Baham is a dickhead, bro.

Like, he is an asshole. So how bad was Syracuse for him to get fired? Because he'd been there for a million years. I felt like with that chipping and how successful they'd been, even without the other chips, like he'd have to be abysmal to get fired. They were, they were bad this year

and the recruiting has fallen off. But at the press conference, after the game, you know, the reporters are asking him like, so is this your last game? And he was like, it's not up to me. And they're like, oh, so you're definitely coming back. And he was like, I didn't say that. Like, he's just like, get fired.

And then, right. And then he walked off the stage and there was like a goodbye letter of like an hour two later. So he got fired for him. Oh, like how, like they had to be that bad. Like they were that bad? I mean, we don't know. We didn't watch the games.

Well, I'm asking y'all. Y'all watch just many games I did. Sorry. I don't, who is what I know about Syracuse this year? His son was playing for him, wasn't? Right, right. His son played for him. Like, who was the last fucking baller, like, to come through that program?

Was it fucking Michael Carter Williams? Like, is that the last Syracuse player who was really lighting shit up? Who's the dude that fucked his ankle up in the NBA? Like, he twisted his ankle. I think it was maybe it was overseas. He fucked his ankle up where his. His foot was facing the wrong way. Shit.

He did the same hay or shit. I think that's the last time that I watched them. They were extremely, they were good. All right. This is our Charles Barkley NCAA tournament impression. We don't know shit about college basketball, bro. The two college basketball fans hearing this are irate. Right.

Absolutely. Sorry college basketball fans. We will be experts next Monday because I will watch four days straight. I'm not doing shit those four days out. I'm going to watch nonstop. Okay, let's talk about the one of the weirdest stories I can remember in a while. The strip club that Jha was at when he did the Instagram live where he had the gun released photos of him in the strip club to the New York Post. I'm sure someone just, you know, took the someone who worked there, took the security footage and took a payout from the New York Post.

But that's a bad look for a strip club, no? I mean Colorado, isn't it? It's a strip club though. Have you ever seen the motherfuckers who work at strip clubs? They're not exactly the most upstanding gentleman, bro. Yeah, I'm sure the motherfucker working security had a price and he leaked that picture

and cashed out or whatever the fuck. I'm not surprised there, bro. Motherfuckers working strip clubs are sleaze balls, dog. The thing is, though, he spit all of, you see all the money that was on the ground? Like, I think I saw, like, two actual asses that I was like,

hmm, while I was in Colorado for an entire year, bro. You spent all that money on a Colorado ass? Like, he was whiling,

bro. You know what I mean? Like, bro, I guarantee it wasn't worth that. You feel me? And like how slumped he was. Like, like I told y'all,

bro, I guarantee that perk had him seeing the universe in that chick's booty hole, bro. He was peering into that, like he was looking. It was everything everywhere

all the ones in the booty hole. That's exactly. who I was about to say, dog. Exactly. In her booty hole, bro. Like, dude, he was looking. The fucking Jesus Christ, the entire

multiverse was happening right in front of his eyes. In her fucking anal cavity. Like, you know, we've all expressed concern for Jai, but, you know, there's a part of me that saw that, and I saw all that fucking money laid out. I was like, bro, this

is probably the last time Jod's really going to be wilded for him. I was like, at least he got his money's worth that night. At least he went out with a bang. That motherfucker was having a grand old time. Looking at booty holes, making it rain, you flash and the blicky. Like that boy had our time, dog.

Good for job, man. But what's crazy is, like it looked fun in the, well, it looked like he was having fun in the video. It didn't look fun in the picture. All that money around him, he was, he was, he was, he was, all hypnotizing. All that money around him,

just him and that one lone stripper, you know, from Colorado. You know what I mean? And I'm like, this just not, this looks sad. But yeah, man. I love the idea that it was. I think it would be sadder if there were like a bunch of strippers in there. He might have had a connection with her like, yo, you know, I'm a fall in fake love with your ass tonight making rain.

He looked like he was slobbering on himself. The perk was beating his ass at that point, dog. The bean was beaning. The nigga was, bro. I like Tyler is probably correct. But I prefer a version where jaw. It was like 5.30 in the morning and all the other strippers had made enough money and were tired. And they were like, I'm leaving.

And she was the one who was like, whatever you want to do. Let's just like a Wednesday. Going above and beyond service. Please fill out her survey when it gets next to you. We appreciate five stars for quality of service. Let's talk about the budding volume sports oriented beef between Draymond Green and Dylan Brooke. I know all three of us were fans of Draymond's, what Draymond got off on the, on his podcast. What he told Dylan Brooks, the dynasty starts after you, not with you, which is probably the meanest thing.

God. I've heard a basketball player say to another basketball player. I think Dylan Brooks is just punching way above his weight class here. What do you guys think? Well, yeah. Draymond for definitely gave him the whole what what for on that one. I'll tell you that much. Dog,

that line you said, Mike, that was the one that stuck out to me like, okay, like, bro, I feel like like we might have got a little too personal here. Like, because the harsh part is I feel like it's also true. I don't think, I don't think Dylan is sheesh, I'm not trying to be a dick hat with what I'm about to say now. I don't think

Dylan is a high IQ enough player to be a core part of championship team, you know? And that's what Dremont was getting at in a way harsher way, you know, basically saying, you know, once you leave, they're going to accomplish great things without your ass. Well, when he said, I don't think your teammates like playing with you either. And I think if you said that

about 90% of the NBA, even a guy whose teammates don't like him, those teammates would be out in the media for a fucking week saying that's our guy. Like, we love playing with him. And it was only Dylan talking about himself. The only person that stood up for him was him after the game. You know what I mean?

And he did make that nigga, bro. He got up there and stood up for himself with lies. He said he was better than Trey Maw. Like, come on, man. I just saw the part when he was saying that, tell him to talk about me more. And I like that he called him a blogger. That was a nice little one.

He called him a blogger as if he had a blog spot blog. He's called everyone a blogger. Then he calls Shannon Sharper blogger too. That's what he called. Does he think blogging is media? Does he think that that's the all-encompassing term for media or something? For whatever reason, this time it hit maybe because they got

cooked the niggas by 20 points and he was, but anyway regards to that. Yeah, bro, it was like seeing him say that shit like, oh, it did feel mean but when you say you don't like a guy I believe if it's fuck you, it's fuck you. You know what I mean? Like you basically said you don't like them.

So it's fuck you. I'm going to say anything because I don't like you. You don't like me. Let's not pretend. You feel me? And like, dog, he's a, he's a, even like his, he's a good defensive player, but even defensively, he's shown, he's, like, um, you know, like man to man, you know what I mean? Man to man, man, not as part of the system in my opinion.

But in this system, he's proven to be, like you said, low IQ in what he's good at. You know what I mean? So like, bro, like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you know, he's nowhere near as good as Draymon and shouldn't be speaking on him at all and deserved every syllable of what he said. He said some bullshit, talking to him all for a guy, he said some bullshit, talking to him, mean. And then he said he didn't like him. Okay, let me tell you about yourself.

Nobody likes you, fuck, nigger. You smell like ramen needles, bitch. Good luck, nigga. You know what I'm saying? The future, it won't be in Memphis. You know what I mean? Like, and I think he spoke facts. That's what the worst shit. The worst comebacks or the worst shit talking is when it's based on the truth. Right.

And you never want to get into an argument with someone who's going to be able to get a joke off on the worst day for you. The day that Memphis moves you for a second round pick or some shit, like, you know what I mean? You never want to give someone ammunition to on that day talk shit to you. And Draymond could be 25 years into commentating. Maybe this nigga plays for 30 years. And when he leaves, Draymond will be there to fucking say this shit to his ass and cloud him, bro. You know what I'm saying?

He's, you know what I'm saying? And it's going to be hilarious. We all going to laugh at the shit. Bro. Dylan Brooks fuck around and get traded. And Draymond just tweet L.O.L. and that shit will get like 50,000 tweets like I guess it's all site like that dog

you know what I mean you're right Draymont could be a couple decades like right he might be a couple decades into a commentating career making fun of your of Dillard Brooks Jr. If you're not getting to feel me like he is that. Be cool. Be cool. All right.

My family took a boat to Catalina Island over the weekend. We took a ferry over there. It's about 13 miles offshore from southern California. Had a great time. Discovered something. I am not a boat person. I have not spent very much of my life on boats.

The ferry we were on is basically like a city bus. Like you're basically just on a boat that's got bus type seats, subway type seats. And not assigned seats, you're just there or whatever. But the people, Tyler, who work on the. the boat, they really use all those boat words, bro. So, like, the guy that lets you want is like, oh, you could put your luggage down

on the port side. Bitch what? The port side, bro. On the one side? That sounds like food, nigga, I would order that in a restaurant, nigga. Can I get the port side? What the phone? We're really in there and talk about some port,

starboard shit to each other. It really tickled my fancy. What's the Starbird? What's the Starboard side? What is that? Left or right, one of the two? It's left or right? I would just, I would just be like, bro, why are you talking like it's 1742?

You are 26 years old, bro. Like, why are we? We don't have to do this, man. You have vans on, my nigger. Right? Like, my nigga, bro. The fuck, nigga. What do you mean, dog?

I said this to the group chat Tyler, what did you I was like he's some call me Ishmael face ass niggas right here dog I just like you're working on a bus on the ocean Like you don't have to use nautical terms Just fucking relax

You can't say that type of shit Without boots on, nigga You know what I mean? Like in the boot. Boots need a buckle, too. I mean some real boots. You know what I mean? Don't take no stuff.

What the fuck? That's so weird, dog. Jesus. All right. I apologize. I just, the nautical world is an interesting. It's an interesting little world.

How serious did they, he said it seriously too. He didn't say it like, he was like, yeah. Like, yeah, you like, you should know what the fuck he was talking about.

Yes. And there was like, also like the, what did anybody else? Look at you like, what the fuck is he talking about? Yeah, I'm trying to remember what the first class thing was, but it was like the Commodore deck or something.

I was like, this is a fuck, like, we are not on a cruise ship right now. I haven't heard the word Commodore. Like, I've only read that word. So, Ferdin and Amagellon face. Right, nigga, when the fuck? When's the last time Commodore has been said out loud on land?

You know what I mean? That is only a water word. You know what I'm saying? You don't say, you don't say Commodore on land, dog. That is crazy. Real barrier to entry for me in the not a whole world. A naval officer, high rank. Yeah, you literally only say it on water. Interesting.

There you go. The president of the president of a yacht club. You know I mean? What sports team is the Commodores? Is it Vanderbilt? Yeah, I think it is. I think it is. This is weird because they didn't like death smack in the middle of fucking Tennessee, Nicker like Nashville. Yeah,

the Commodores. Yeah, it's a Commodore, Van derbyville. Commodore. What the fuck is that? The nigger then made his first name is Cornelius. Cornelius Vanderbilt. That's the last time Commodore was set on land. Cornelius died in 1877.

He was born in 1794, G. Wow. The NBA season is heating up, and now is the perfect time to download Fandul, America's number one sportsbook, because new customers get a no-swet, first bet up to $1,000. That's bonus bet's back.

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Gambling problem. Call 1-800 gambler or visit fendul.com slash RG. I have a good old rich person story for you that we found out while we were on the island. Actually, I didn't have this on the list. But y'all might be interested in this. So Catalina Island is, it's actually still almost entirely owned by the Wrigley family. like the Riggly family that owns the Cubs. Yeah, that's bubblegum, right?

And all that. Yes, literally their family fortune was off of inventing gum. Yeah. What a fucking great grandpa to have. Oh, my God. Oh, D-Rigley's. Can we find out how that happened?

So, well, so let me tell you the story about Mr. Riggily. Donnots were created on water. I just want that's just a random fact that I remember. Yeah. Go ahead. So he owned the Cubs. And because they liked, they liked having the spring,

not in Chicago, they're like being in Southern California. They bought the island of, they bought Catalina Island for like $17 million or something in 1920 or something. So he would have the Cubs for 30 years, he had the Cubs do spring training on the island. And he would have Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, whoever just come party with him in on his island. And his mansion was built overlooking the field that he built for them to have spring training. So he would just be posted up on the fucking, like patio, the gardens, just like smoking a cigar, feet up, hanging out with whatever actress and actors he wanted to hang out with,

watching his baseball team prepare for the major league season. And billionaires today are buying Twitter, bro. Like, like, Riggily figured it out, dog. That sounds like the fucking life. That's some great Gatsby shit, dog. Facts. Yeah. Damn,

bubble, fucking chewing gum money was crazy, huh? I mean, everybody had to be had food had been bland as fuck

back then in like the early 19th centuries when that shit took off so I can see why. Did he patent the, the creation so everybody

paid him a little bread like if bubble yum wanted to make bubble gum like they had to give him a little bread. I don't know. I think he would just introduced

some mint flavored shit in a world that was just full of like everything tasted like potatoes and grapes. Like meat or fucking, yeah, yeah, or sugar. That was it. But anyway, that's crazy.

I just, I don't often look up to rich people, but it was like, you invented gum and got to spend the rest of your life on your private island watching your fucking baseball team practice from your mansion on the hill while you partied with all of the celebrities. That's how you do rich, bro. Elon, you ain't shit, though. Bro. Elon does rich by making himself work more. you know what I'm saying like you do the opposite of that that's what it's weird what do you think the revenue

the Wrigley company still what they their products are juicy fruit Wrigley spearmint doublement etc what do you think their annual revenue is 300 million Oh no Billing oh yeah it has to be some bill Oh yes

It's bubble gum niggas But it's only like well I don't know What the last of my water packer gum you don't chew though Like okay no but it's like It's the foundational gums bro like okay look okay we they are still the largest manufacturer and marketer of chewing gum

in the world dude we have 21 factories in 14 countries nigger churning out gum we like I realize this like you know how Twitter like it seems so big like the topics and then nobody knows what the fuck is going on you know what I mean like outside of that you know like most people

on Twitter most people are off of Twitter have no I did what the fuck we're talking about. It's the same thing with the gum. Like, for like music, like, currency was the biggest rapper to me, like, in the, like, in my world when I was in like 2012 or whatever, right? And nobody, like, 98% of the world doesn't know what the fuck he is. These the same thing with the gum, bro. You know what I mean?

Like, we don't chew it, but it's a foundational joint. When he started making gum, he was putting rubber in the gum, bro. I mean, that sounds of, what, what year was it? 19, what? 1890. one was oh yeah of course he was just trying to stretch that shit

bro he's dancing on the brick you know what I'm saying which yeah that's wild five god damn I'll say this I remember when goddamn Winterfresh first hit the streets that was a moment dog

when Winterfresh dropped niggas needed that niggas needed that niggas needed that that shit put Big Red out of the rotation for me are y'all or are y'all oh that's dead

are y'all orbit chewing gum buyers now? I feel like everybody buys orbit. Shar loves orbit. Yeah, I feel like that's become the millennial gum. I chew bubble gum like a 9 year old, bro. I chew double bubble gum. If I'm chewing gum,

I'm chewing bubble gum. Oh, so you're getting like some you're going to go big league chew before you go to orbit nigga, like that's what you want? Wow. I don't really chew mint gum. You want this shit that goes away in like eight seconds? I just pop in another one, bro. Jesus Christ, bro. I'll go through a fuck. I get

I guess. Does it? I gave myself fucking I used to go to my grandma's house She'd go to the 99 cent store And give me like a 99 cent bag Of double bubble And it was a big ass fucking bag

Of individual double bubble pieces But it was a 99 cent store So this shit was old I gave myself lock jaw I was chewing on double bubble I was about to say bro Double bubble That shit

Tough as fuck It might be some rubber And some goddamn double bubble That shit firm as fuck dog John's a good Go ahead John I don't know if I can say this maybe it's edited out.

I thought Lockjaw was something you got. Like, we were told as in high school that you got it from popping, nigga. Yeah, see. You, you know, that's what you? Like, lockjaw happened, like, from yam and crazy, digger. Did you, was that?

I never, I never knew about Lock Joe during my child. How many motherfuckers you knew? I knew one. I knew one. I knew one. I knew a lot of Jaws. was juicing a lot and adequately if I could say so myself

so that kind of like oh so it was true I got this anyway all right Tyler the floor is yours do you care to defend the honor of Virginia

barbecue after the viral tweet slandering Virginia barbecue that included a cup of mac and cheese with the cheese on the side. That shit had to be a troll. It cannot have been a legitimate Virginia barbecue plate. Like I said, we're not really a barbecue hotbed. I'm not going to front like we're a Memphis or Kansas City or Texas or North Carolina or whatever.

Our barbecue is way fucking better than that. You know what I'm saying? There's plenty of underwhelming barbecue, but I shit at least looks, you know, the part, unlike that shit. I will say the one Virginia thing about it was that segregated-ass macaroni and cheese. That was something that upheld the proud tradition of Virginia there. But other than that, bro, no, man. How you

how you, how you, how you get a do-it-your-your-your- macaroni and cheese kit on your barbecue tray? What type of luncheble's ass bullshit? Fisher Price's my first kitchen ass shit going on here, dog. Bro, that shit was

horrible, man. I was talking to shells and I was like, she said she's going down, she was going to the country to talk to her family members and shit. And I was Listen to her family song They're country for real Like Virginia's country, nigga ain't no country place

Really got barbecue like that name Like you said It'll at least look the part It'll at least lie to you Before you taste it You know what I mean Might not be as high quality As it should be something like that

But it's not gonna look like that It's not gonna look like that nigga that's some fucking Arizona You know I mean Idaho barbecue shit nigga You know I mean That shit was horrible

New Hampshire bullshit right there Yeah Idaho barbecue They're just there's just a whole potato, whole raw potato on the side. Bro. Vegan ribs look better than those ribs,

nigger. Ain't no motherfucking way that shit is from Virginia. Ain't no way, bro. I feel like, I mean, honestly, looking at it, if that is what Virginia barbecue looks like, I feel like Tyler has got a very lucrative second career. It's a fucking grill master.

I would be the fucking king of this state if that was my competition, bro. Literally. You'd have a crown on every podcast, nigga. Oh shit. Okay. It's time for, I'm always interested in the shit that we get tagged in the most on Twitter.

And nothing rivaled everyone wanting to make sure we saw Smokey Robinson as he begins his Gasm's tour, dressed in all red leather, absolutely live in his prime. Gyrating. Gyrating. bro you see him slow down like he knew he was hitting that shit too he knew exactly the reaction he's gonna get from the little hip just poop-pooh you know what I mean well there's your empirical evidence it is confirmed smoky Robinson is out here fucking

there's no way around it no way there's no a man who's gonna wear a red leather ensemble like that chest out jirating on stage like that that man is fucking the jury is out the jury's return with the unanimous verdict after 20 seconds of deliberation. Smokey is funny. Smokey fucks. The only reason a man does that is to fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah. Smokey fucking. Smokey knocking some 65 year old pussy down out here. I guarantee them. And they was, you hear the, you hear the women in the background? They was going crazy. Oh yeah. He got some. Hey. Yeah. He got some people that will volunteer his tribute. You know what I mean? He was a sex symbol of for a whole generation

and now that generation is retired as hell with disposable income. You know what I'm saying? They probably don't do shit, but go to the casino every now and then on them bus trips and shit. And they got money to spend. Smokey might be slinging dick. You might have to pay Smokey to get some dick.

Like, that might be the shit that Smokey's on. That's how you paid for the album. You might have, yeah. You want Smoky to drop some dick off. You might have to get some dick off. You might have to get some in his pocket. You might have to talk it to his pocket. You know what I'm saying?

By getting his issue. you all. Seesh. That's wild. I was surprised. I was surprised. You know what I'm saying? And A, like I said, I take everything back. I take everything back that I said. He definitely gets his issue up. I can't imagine being that age and still having the ability

to even want to get it up for dancing like that on stage, bro. Body parts are barely held where they're supposed to be. At that point it's just two bag of bones being thrown at each other. You know what I mean? like people be saying

I bet it's smell wild in there you gotta love sex to fuck when you all dog ain't no fucking way I don't love anything that much okay he's doing it for the gay for the love of the gay

for so all right before we get out of here I have a piece of advice to pass on to you guys and to the rest of our listeners which is this for a variety of medical reasons

I've been on fiber pills for a little while I have to say no one who's listening to this is eating enough fiber you should eat more fiber if you need to take the fiber pills take the fiber pills this is what I told Char last week

I fucked her up I said at this point I only am wiping my ass after I shit to brag I haven't seen anything on the fucking wet wipes

in like a month nothing first of all I love it to use wet wipes It shows me you a man of class, you know what I mean? We talked about this on the pond like two years ago. It's like, you see, you had the, you had literally one of the best arguments I've ever heard. If someone came into your house and shit on your floor, would you use a dry paper towel to pick the shit up?

No. Then why do you do that on your own anus? I'll drop a gym every now and in. On your, on your forearm, you would not just. wipe it all for the paper towel. Why? Why? Why? Why? Right. Very tinder skate as well. Very tender skin. But I'm telling you the only reason at this point I'm still wiping is the same reason you check your checking account when you know you have it and you just enjoy looking and seeing that you have it. Mike, I'm going to tell you, bro, this is, I've never been more jealous

of you in my life, bro. I'm, bro, this is such a flex. I'm wiping four, five, six times sometimes, though. Absolutely. Niggie. This was my life. This was my life. for 38 years. I used to wipe the opposite way when shit get wild. You know what I mean? I'm like, nigga,

let me check to make sure it ain't that going. Starboard. You feel what I'm saying? You're going to wipe it against the grain. Dude, the, I'm just saying,

I remember, like, obviously California's been in and out of a drought for our entire lives. I remember at some point a country singer. I want to say it was

Shania Twain. said that if you're using more than one square of toilet paper, it's immoral. And you're using more water to flush the toilet than you need to. And I remember thinking at the time, you are either not a human being in the way that I'm a human being or you are somehow wiping six times on one square of toilet paper. And I don't understand how much time.

Yeah. But now I get it. This celebrities probably get enough fiber. And we just don't get enough fiber. How long are you spending? How much time you spend it out? You know, when you should now. As much time as I want to, if I want to look at my phone.

But I... Okay, yeah. 30 seconds. Sit down. It's gone. And there's nothing left. So you could, you could get up and people could think you peeed, bro. Facts.

Wow. Man, I'm... Okay. Hit me, send me the link to do. Is it on Emma? Oh, yeah. Send me that link. I need...

I will. This is a gang-titcher. I mean, I knew that fiber, you know, help keep you regular. I did not know that it streamlined the whole poop process. I thought it was not coded I didn't know it was getting it out you in a clean and an efficient way too. Yep.

I'll be saying like twice a day. I don't need it for that. At least, you know what I mean? But let me, let me say this. It's the metamusal pills. That's what they put me on.

It's called metamusal. But I get the, but I get the over the counter. I get the Kirkland signature fiber pills, right? You take, if you're, if you're taking what, you know,

the maximum dosage, because it's supposed to help with my cholesterol is why I'm on it. It's five pills a day, four, five pills four times a day. So it's 20 pills. That's, listen, that's only 60% of the fiber that you're supposed to get.

Nick, do I got, oh, that's a, that's a, that's a bullshit. 20 pills. Five and a time. But that's like I started looking at it. I was like, so if you're actually supposed to eat 100% of the recommended fiber, you would need to eat like six salads a day, bro. No one is eating as much fiber as they're supposed to eat. Bro, there are computer chips that work as well as our brain that are,

like fucking, you know, a centimeter in diameter. You know what I mean? Why do you need, why can't they do more with one pill? Why don't they make that, you know, like five pills? Because it would just like, it would be like a nuclear bomb in your colon or something. I'm just saying, no, five pills at a time. You're still putting the same amount in your time at the same time, right? Make that five pill, one pill, though.

You got to defuse it. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, you know, it's fine. Gali never tripped off how humans are pretty much like the only animals that need to wipe their butts. Like that's so wild. I tripped off that. Yeah.

A dog will just get up and walk out. Like, bro, a lion will take a shit and just keep it moving. And, you know, it was just. And they have fur. And there's nothing. They have fur. Balance diets.

All right. That's some faulty design on our booty holes that we need to do. It's not our booty holes. It's our diet. Oh, yeah. That makes a thousand percent sense, though. The diet. Fiber without getting too technical

because I have been reading up on this because I find it interesting and maybe two of our listeners do as well the ones that are still listening. We've already talked about it longer than we should have, but go ahead. The fiber coats, it gives it gives it a coating

that your poop is naturally supposed to have but we don't eat a correct diet to give it. It encapsulates a doo-doo like, you know, Boudan sausage or some shit. Right? Yeah. I think that's where we should end it.

Yeah, I think that's where we'll end up on the pod right there. All right. We'll see you on Thursday. Thanks for listening. We'll catch you all in a couple days. Bye. Bye.

Bye.