The Herd with Colin Cowherd - Joe and Jada - Mike Epps tells WILD Jay-Z & DMX stories, talks Dave Chappelle & top 5 standups
Episode Date: December 30, 2025Fat Joe and Jadakiss are joined by legendary actor and comedian Mike Epps. The 'Def Comedy Jam' star tells Joe and Jada all about his years in Brooklyn coming up in the comedy scene, being the first g...uest with N.O.R.E. on Drink Champs, his 'We Them One's Comedy Tour' with 85 South's Karlous Miller, DC Young Fly, and Chico Bean, the final season of his Netflix show 'The Upshaws' with Wanda Sykes, his upcoming film with Kevin Hart, and why Dave Chappelle ISN'T in his all-time standup comedy top five alongside legends like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Martin Lawrence. They also kick back and trade hilarious stories about Jay-Z, DMX, Big Pun, Tracy Morgan, and more from their experiences in 1990s New York City. 5:00 - Hilarious stories from childhood & '90s NYC 17:30 - '90s standup grind with Tracy Morgan 21:15 - Biggest artists Fat Joe has worked with 27:00 - Why Mike Epps didn't make a lot of friends in comedy 37:30 - We Them One's Comedy Tour 45:00 - Upcoming projects with Kevin Hart, Wanda Sykes 50:30 - Comedy Mt. Rushmore 58:00 - Hip Hop Museum 1:02:30 - First guest on Drink Champs 1:13:30 - DMX stories 1:24:30 - Fat Joe never struggled with confidence [Timestamps may vary due to advertisements.] All lines provided by Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey guys, it's us
The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe.
I'm Kevin.
And I'm Nick.
And guess what?
We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.
We invented a podcast?
Well, we didn't invent it.
We just contributed to it.
We're the first people to do podcasts.
We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.
Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it.
But, you know, tired and sick.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Just listen.
We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy,
not quite.
Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends.
Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman
help make you funnier.
This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,
help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.
Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter.
Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcast.
I'm Michelle McPhee, and I've been unraveling the strangest criminal alliance I've ever reported on, a Mormon polygamist and an Armenian businessman.
Multi-million dollar house, Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets, a billion dollar fraud.
But how long can this alliance last?
Tell me what you know.
Is somebody coming after me?
Listen to Kingdom of Fraud on the Aihar Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's
telling you exactly what happened. That's where SportsSlice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode,
we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports and giving you the
real story behind the headline. And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves,
their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear.
Listen to Sports Slice on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're
you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slica Life 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok.
Winning on Clay is an art. The rallies are relentless. And at the French Open, only the toughest
survive. I'd know. I competed there for decades. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs tennis
podcast for no nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches, the toughest players, and the moments that define
Roland Garris.
She's an outsider to win the French name. And she likes Clay.
Listen, Lerabakina is arguably the best player in the world right now.
I actually can win on any surface.
Listen to the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast on the IHart Radio app.
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHart Women's Sports.
This video I'm talking about you is on welfare.
I said, no, at the top of this.
That's all I'll never hate on you when I see you in front of them rose voices with them outfits.
I say, that's a good dessert, that shit, because I've seen that poor.
What up, y'all?
This is Coke of the dawn.
Ooh, you know what it is your boy, Jada Kiss.
You know what it is, the Joe and Jada show.
Every show legendary, every show iconic,
and we got our foot on y'all next.
Our next guest, self-explanatory.
Biggest in the game.
Biggest in the game.
Well, no name in every household.
You see him on stages.
You see them on TVs.
You see them courtside at the games.
You might see them in the suite.
The only person that phone can read.
ring on the couch and we don't get mad at it out.
Only person the phone comes. You know what I mean?
See him in son of your best films you
ever seen, your best stand-ups.
You bump into them in the mall.
You might see him anyway. He's going to show you
that same love. Ladies and gentlemen,
make some noise for our brother,
Mike.
Man, I appreciate it, man.
Two of my
favorite guys in the game.
You know what I mean? I got to get right to it, Mike.
Let me tell you some. This product right here is
ammonia free.
Why fight the time when you can rewind the time?
Hello, Joe.
Why be 53 when you can be 42?
Why be 42 when you can be 31?
Available at CBS and Sally's a stop and shock.
I'm just trying to put you on to the shit.
This ain't going to break you out.
I've had some bad experiences.
That's them guys.
My chin swelled up like a honey bun.
My two were...
And it had some pus coming out of it.
And I went to the emergency, man,
and I was so mad.
I actually called a Top Dog Law because I was going to sue the hell out of.
You know what? Don't use the product, brother.
Don't use the product.
We don't need a guy hard profile like Mike gets talking about.
Top Dog Lord.
But you know, I love that guy who do them commercials.
Yeah, I read the accident.
They chop your foot off.
You thought you was that guy.
Your shit is ending.
Your wife thought you was flying.
Not no more
When it comes to that time,
Cole,
top dog,
Lord.
The God's gonna get you out of you.
You said,
nah,
that guy,
he's the best in commercial.
Yeah, he is.
Mike Epps, man,
you got the young wife, man.
Yeah, man.
You've living a fucking life.
My wife wanted me to tell you
that she said,
man,
tell Joe that his family be stylish.
You know how the women are.
They know how to spend money.
They see the families all together.
They know this shit.
You know what I said.
But I see you, I said, Dan, this guy, Mike Epps, man, this guy live a fucking life.
And you do whatever the fuck you want.
You pull out of old school, you pull out of new school.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
You know, hey, man, I was just telling him a friend of mine that we all had the pleasure to grow up at the time that we grew up in.
Because, man, I wouldn't trade that for nothing in the world.
Because I remember being really, really young and the sun was shining different.
It was like when you was young, it felt like the sun was hotter, right?
That's a fact.
You had to get me, I had to get in the house when the shit went dark.
Me too.
And my mom's a scream and I'd ignore her.
And then my father, my father take one whistle.
Everybody knew.
They was like, yo, that nigga, go upstairs.
Cuba's caught one whistle.
My mom's a call 20 times.
Joey, my father hit it with that Cuban whistle.
knickers just grab the boy.
I gotta go.
He's gonna come down and smack the shit out of you.
Shit that could go all way for Wio to Fordham Road.
Hey, you know, your mom just call me.
You know.
My house is all way up the block.
Somebody tell you that your mom is called.
You better get your ass back down here.
She hit you with a Jason?
Jason.
No.
That shit is all the Jersey Tunnel.
Tell everybody your real name and shit.
Listen, I used to play with my moms.
I used to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, keep playing.
We playing ball, boy, that shit go.
A whistle, niggas.
Yo, yo, go ahead.
You ever came in the house too late
and the food was put up?
You're like, yeah, where the food?
Ain't no food on the stone.
He said, you missed it.
I was about to sell the house.
The stove is totally clean.
White people clean.
You miss it.
You miss.
to hold me.
I'm missing.
You're gonna come,
nigga now.
Don't warm it up.
You better let's warm up.
I want to end on loom in a forest.
I want to end
an refrigerator door.
Nothing like that.
They were fat Joe.
They never deprived me of a meal.
They left your shit.
And I was the type, you know,
my sisters,
they used to pass me shit
because they're skinny.
So if we had some steak
of chicken,
they're back,
give it a Joe here.
He'll eat anything.
Like, give it to Joe
he'll eat anything.
They tried to kill you.
They tried to kill you.
You know?
They tried to kill you.
You know, I was fucking.
Oh, I was fucking everybody's food up.
They knew y'all just passed that shit to joke.
That shit out of you.
If you could say one boat,
what's the main store or bodega in your neighborhood
that you would honestly say fucked you up?
Because I know it was one of them.
Well, we had Ernie's.
The 70s living in my neighborhood destroyed me.
No, we had Ernie's.
Ernie, now that you look back at it,
God bless Ernie, I'm sure he's dead.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure he's dead.
The shit he was telling
Just a guarantee the niggins dead
But no, but listen
I'm sure he's dead
I'm sure he's dead
I'm sure he did
I hope you alive
Ernie
I hope you alive
The man
Probably going to be watching this
They're raised up like this
The man was unsanitary
Like a motherfucker
He had this
He had this fur in his fucking ears
He didn't groom his ears, right?
But that motherfucker made these sausages with the onions with the cheese.
Ernie's, when your mother sent you to Ernie's, that shit was a delicacy.
It was like going to City Island and some shit.
It was like, yo, we're going to, because we either got the 50-s spice ham cheese sandwich.
We got Ernie's.
Ernie's a buck, 25, buck, 50.
That's when you could buy a whole grocery with that type of money.
I don't know how old you are, but I literally, I'm 55.
Okay, we're the same name.
I used to go to the supermarket with my mother with $2.
And they get the rice, the chicken, a pack of cigarettes,
and bread, and the milk for $2.
That's before Christ.
Then the fuck you can get off.
No, that nigga was one, and I don't know how I remember there.
You was one when they were.
We had Royal Farms, Mets food.
I love going to the supermarket.
And the laundromat.
You sit there, fold clothes with your mom.
And my mom's got paid.
That laundry mat.
My mom's got paid and she was, she bring that taxi and she had them fucking bags in the hand.
That shit was like crap.
We running out the helper with the bags.
Ma, let me help her.
She had the old school donuts to put two chocolate, vanilla with the power and the white.
Brown one, yeah.
That shit was what, motherfuckers.
Intimates.
You run through that shit, the glass of milk.
It's all.
You come out on the porch with one and one of your friends say, man,
go in there and give me one of them, and you know what you tell him.
Man, my mother said we can't get nobody nothing.
Oh, hell, no.
Yeah, my mother said that I got to go in the house right now.
I can't share it over there.
Go in there and give me one of them.
My shit different.
My father was a dictator.
We had, like, bounty, the tissue bounty.
one of my friends, we dropped some shit
and he grabbed the bounty to wipe it.
My father was like, yo, what the fuck?
He was like, you know how much the bounty cost, nigga?
Use this shit over here, not the bounty.
I'm like, oh, my God.
I think my friend never came back to my house.
He grabbed bounty.
So it has to be something really real to use the bounty.
Yo, Mike, my father made me rest in peace.
I love him.
I love him.
But he was there for.
He was different.
He'd take you to the store by you the fucking
plastic coat instead of the leather.
He'll embarrass me at every
course. Because he didn't understand your mind
frame of what the following
designers was because he didn't
come from that. He came from
what the fuck you say. I don't know what you talk.
I don't know what you talked like. When I got upset
because I couldn't get no joy, my dad was like,
that made you upset? I took
and put some pills in the toilet
and flushed it and act like I'll
overdose. And I'm laying on the ground.
And they called the, they called, my mother was saying, oh, God, he killed itself.
He killed himself. And they called the real paramedics. They showed up. I'm laying on the ground,
acting like I'm dead. I'm like, oh, oh, oh, they're going to blow the spot.
They were hitting my, they knew what nothing wrong with me. They was hit my face and my eye
was blinking. They was like, you okay? You okay?
So you know what they did? They took me to, they played it all way out with me.
Took me all on the thing.
I could hear my brother.
Oh, man.
They took me down there and made me drink some black charcoal.
That's like what you take if you overdose and take some pill.
And I drunk it.
Because I was trying to get some joins, nigger.
And let me tell you some crazy shit.
My mother bought me them shoes.
And my dad was mad.
It worked.
Yeah, I worked.
I had to go all the way through that.
She said, I'm going to go ahead and buy him for him.
Everybody had the leather bomber.
The most disgusting part about it is my mom's gave the man the $150.
Go get him his jacket.
I go in there with him in June, man.
And he started arguing with the man like three, four hours, nigga.
Everybody come up there.
Yo, my pops ain't give a fuck.
I don't know how to explain it to you.
He arguing with them over $10.
Yo, $1.30, $1.30, they come out the back.
They're like, go, wow.
special.
They came out with the plastic level bomber.
He bought that shit for like $50.
He was like, yo, I was like, yo, yo, I don't want the plastic, pop.
I don't want the nigga.
Y'all had the plastic, man.
The nigga fuck me up.
Because he didn't know he was hurting you.
He thought you looked good in that shit.
Yo, he came back and gave my mother the $100.
Look, $50.
Is that why you're interclosed like that?
Because they fuck with me, man.
That hurt you, didn't it?
I was trying to say that.
I bought three outfits at the beginning of the school.
I had a green sweatsuit, red one in the blue one by the middle of the year.
I had a green shirt, green pants, I mean, blue pants and red.
Every day, she was like, that's what I think about New York.
I don't know how to fuck y'all grew up here because the pressure of being fly is on and popping.
At a young age, right?
At a young age.
At a young age.
You might get a kid.
You might get a pet.
How did you figure it out?
You didn't.
Figured it out when you, you figured it out when you got it.
Whatever is the, you know, you go in the sneakers store.
You can't go to that rack over there.
It's like a $40 to $60.
It's still like that.
It's angry.
It's still like that for me and Bell Harp.
That's who end up being criminals.
You know, it's still like, listen.
That's what criminal.
Some niggas are haters, nigger.
The nigger can't afford it.
It's still like that.
Still like that to this day.
When you go to Bell Harbor, you know they got the two jewelry stores.
A mean, broke nigga.
You know, kill your ass.
Listen, Bell Harbor in Miami to this day.
I've been both of them.
Hey, man, I'm not lying.
I've been so broke before when I was younger.
It was hard.
When my friends be bragging on the nigga, I was one of them niggas say,
shut up!
Stop talking about that nigger like that.
You dudes was praising the dude, man.
I'm like, damn, that's why we can't fucking get nothing like.
Yeah, they do that shit now.
your motherfucking ass, especially the drug dealer,
oh, God, if you ever see some other body kiss
an ass, to see the drug dealer kiss ass.
That's the king of the kiss ass is somebody.
And that's a kiss ass that is not genuine.
People that kiss a drug dealer, oh, Lord, that is the worst.
I watched my brother, my brother was king.
My brother was king.
I watched him pull up, and niggas used to open that door,
carry him out.
I do you lie.
You know, I didn't pick him up like this.
Meaning, acting like this.
Like day in the movie and shit, he pulled up, niggins slap.
Everybody acting like he keeps him in the bruce.
Yeah, yeah.
He left him by, like, yo money man, so chill, call.
Yeah.
Chill, chill, chill, chill.
I'm just watching the niggas all this shit.
He fell out.
He didn't have a nigger buy him a lollipop or an ice pop.
watched the vice versa.
I watched him pull up like
the Garfather.
Like the nigger used to wear the white suit
walking through the neighbor.
My brother used to come and look like,
they was
pause, sucking them off, soul legend.
When he was fucked up,
they would not look at this nigga.
Like they was acting like,
I, this, this, I seen it
with my own eyes. That's prepared
me for the future.
So when I come up and I get
to the bag, they thinking it's like,
yo, the money man all over again, I said,
no, I watched what y'all did to my brother.
I watched people that my brother bought
the TV, the furniture.
He bought their whole crib.
Like, gave it to them.
Like furniture, this, this, that wouldn't let
them in their house when he needed a meal.
You know what they was thinking about?
He gave us crack
money. Fuck him.
He gave us the money that he got
from a dope thing. Fuck him.
Sheesh. That's how they looked at it.
That's real shit.
Because that means the whole game is corrupt and filthy.
That's why I was telling the young dudes,
they'd be so shocked about what happens to them in the streets.
I say, man, you didn't know that that come with it?
I said, nigga, everything.
Anything you could think of.
That's why the streets ain't really,
it's really over with all these cameras.
You'd be a damn fool.
They're going to follow you away from wherever you did it.
I knew this Dominican dude.
Ain't that crazy?
Back in the day, you could do some shit and drive off.
Now you get away, but now you can't.
Now, they got the camera.
That motherfucker is a Dominican dude all way up on the highway.
That motherfucker fucking follow you all the way back.
My brother, what's it like for you?
Yes, sir.
Being a comedian.
Shout to country kitchen, man.
Country kitchen.
How's that food?
I've been watching it on the gram.
They took me to the white side over there.
And when I've seen you at the All-Star, I was.
I was running so much, man, but I should have invited.
He didn't take me to country.
Kitsenna, I'd have been there every day turning up.
I was there every day.
Fire.
Every day.
What was the go-to meal?
Everything?
Yeah, they got everything.
Yeah.
Fish.
Yeah, they got everything.
Cornbread was great.
You remember how Jimmy's Brons Cafe.
I used to go to Jimmy's Bronze Cafe.
I used to do comedy in there.
Jimmy's Blonde's Cafe.
Back in them there.
Yeah.
I used to do comedy in the Jimmerich Bronx Cafe,
and I used to do comedy at the Sugar Shack with Rob Stapleton
that was on Jerome Avenue.
This in 1990, 91.
Me and Tracy Morgan used to drive up.
I'd be in the car with Tracy.
He had a little Mazda, and he was ride.
We'd be riding and going doing them comedy shows and shit.
I used to see y'all, man, but you know how it is, man.
Y'all had a bunch of niggas.
I said, I ain't about to walk up to him.
say nothing to them.
But I've seen y'all at S-O's.
You remember that club?
Aeros.
Shout out.
My brother, Mayor, used to own their assos, man.
I seen Mike Tyson at S-O's.
Y'all seen him outside the club.
And I seen you one time, I seen you in a club.
It was like in Co-op City.
It was back in the day.
It was a dingy-ass little spot.
Cors and the dude.
You've been all over New York.
Oh, man.
I used to live in a.
the Bronx. I used to live on a beach in St. Lawrence.
Hold that thought right there. I got to go use the bathroom.
Dominique Wilkins used to live on the Bronx, too.
He did?
No.
Dominique Wilkins.
Dominique Wilkins never been to the Bronx.
Grand Concourse 165.
Did he?
I'm telling you what the man.
He must have had a girl up there.
Yeah.
If you meet girls in them cities, you're going to meet, know, the city.
That's a fact.
I just told my buddy yesterday I went back in the day.
I didn't even know about the Marcy Project.
I went, a girl invited me over there.
I went in an apartment.
And when I came out, it was a hundred niggas downstairs.
And I asked, I said, damn, where the fuck the niggas come from?
She said, all they live here.
I said, I can't walk out there between them.
She said, fuck them bitch-ass niggas.
And we walked out, and I swear the niggas was talking shit to all of, to me and her.
And she, I swear, it's the first time I ever heard a girl say,
suck my dick, you bitch-ass thing.
I said, what the fuck is it?
It's a normal slay for you.
I don't know.
never heard those shit like a girl.
I said, what did you just do?
You went down in the heartbeat.
Yeah, man, I used to love the Bronx.
I used to go to Bronx, BBQ, Capone.
Barbecue, BBQaun.
What's the white guy, y'all?
AJ.
AJ White.
I was a fan of A.J. White was funny.
A.G. White was funny.
He didn't want to say it.
What's two parties name spelled backers?
I said what?
He said, Caput.
I said, you're a dirty, look.
I said, they go, I said, this family go fuck you up,
nigga.
Yo, man, it was a time where the comedians can say whatever the fuck they want to say.
Actually, we wanted you to say some wild shit.
Like, to me, as...
They're comedy jam.
You know, comedians, if they censor you or cancer you, then the world is...
It don't want to sense for us to be a comedian.
Nah, don't.
Don't, because your shit is...
We got a laugh.
Laughing ourselves.
Joe, what's the biggest artist you work with?
Me?
Jay-Z.
I work with Nas.
I work with Eminem.
You work with All.
I work with Jay to Kiss.
You work with a lot of...
I work with, you know what I'm saying?
Budja Bontan.
When you go reggae, you go budget.
I work with so many people.
I was so blessed.
The J-Lo's, the...
Yeah.
I think J-Lo probably the richest person I worked with.
Yo, J-Lo go one time.
this is fat, fat Joe.
Yeah.
And she got a show, three fat Joe's ago.
And she wants me to do some show with her jingle balls or some shit like that, right?
And she ran.
What's the name?
Is it jingle balls or jingle bell?
What's the name of it?
Come on, Mike.
Is jingle balls or jingled balls?
I think it's a thing.
I didn't make the name up.
Anyway, let me tell the story.
She asked me to come.
They asked me what was my favorite meal,
and I said Burger King,
and man, they went to the whole,
not first class.
She paid every ticket on the plane.
Say there's 100-something seats.
It was just us first class.
Fucking Burger King on every chair.
Wow.
And we came over here to do the show
where she don't give J-Lo the bag, bro.
You imagine American Airlines?
The shit was empty just,
first class.
She paid for every ticket.
You think she has been in a Seuss rendezvous?
She might have been in a city.
I don't think she been Suz rendezvous.
At least one time.
She's been there.
I don't think she worked there.
No, I'm just saying, you think she'd been in there one time?
Yeah.
At least once.
Well, you, she could have been in the wedge.
You know, the wedge, that shit was bullets called.
What's the wedge?
Like the Rolex.
Is that like Sin City?
Sin City was a little better.
Yeah, it was under.
The wedge was like, I was like,
I remember I never forget, I took a scar face in that motherfucker.
He was looking like, yo, these bitch.
Like, every bitch got a buck 50 or a bullet scar.
That shit, the wedge.
The wedge.
That shit, that Hunt's Point one way in, one way out.
Ooh, Hunter's Point.
Like, I wouldn't go nowhere to fuck near it right now.
Did you see that Pimp movie that Brent Owens did about Hunter's Point?
You ain't never seen that ever.
Back in the day, like the pimps up hold that, you didn't know what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, Brent Oins and it had Hunter's.
had 100.
It really was like that.
And I see this area right here was,
where you see these skyscrapers and all this shit,
it's called Hudson Yars.
This is where all the holes and pimps was.
Like real pimps.
If you came through here,
and they were everywhere, right?
Down south.
Down south, everywhere they came out of you.
I seen some shit out here one time.
Yeah.
This was crazy.
This was very, this was the pimps.
This was the blade.
This was, this was, Hunts Point was the dirty.
This was it right here.
Motherfuckers and Cadillacs and Pimps and Rose Royces, all type of shit.
They was getting a lot of money back in them day.
Yeah, see, that's the thing about that, about pimping, man, is that you didn't think about New York.
You know what I mean?
You wouldn't know that unless you hanged here.
San Francisco had a lot of pimps when I used to go out there.
Minnesota had a lot of pimps.
Yeah.
That's that Midwest.
They on the lake, Minnetonka Lake.
They was out there on the lake.
Lake line of the girl.
Who is in the Minnetonica Lake,
on Prince and all.
That's that famous lake after.
Yeah.
And they get out on the boat.
Yeah, you see a boat out there
and you see the girls on the boat.
You see the pimp his hair with the palm.
He'd be...
The girl...
You see his hair flow back.
That's what they're funny thing, man.
Like Vegas, if you go to like a diner
at 4.30 in the morning,
you'll see all the pimps,
them and the girls will be done
and they'd be all eating and he'd be sitting there
talking to him, yeah, in Pat's going to catch up
right there. And I told you, get back
down there, because I got to, yeah,
put the salt right there. And all the girls be eating
and then, you're the pimps.
He said, yeah.
That's what I was saying in San Francisco, you're going
at diner, and there'd be nothing but pimps.
Yeah, with all the girls.
They're true down curls in the old last shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm motherfuckers with dead ass serious.
That's Philmore and Hunters.
They got a Hunter's point, too.
In San Francisco.
Hunter's Point of Field, yep, in San Francisco and a hunter's point here.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's crazy, man.
Man, the pimp game, I don't miss those days.
I'm even.
That's kind of, that's one hustle.
It's like you're scaring somebody to be with you.
Like the girl scared to leave it.
The girls is tough.
The girls is tough, though, because that's a hell of a job.
It is.
It's horrible.
It's slimy.
That's horrible.
It's a slimy job.
It's a slimy job.
It's just, I never got it.
I used to try to get it when I thought about it.
I said, man, these niggas going to hell.
Like, when you think about what they was doing to them, girls?
Yeah, because it's really, yeah, because it's really,
and that's, I think, why they give them so much time
is because the manipulation part of it.
It's like brainwash, like how they did.
Brainwashing.
What's his name, Charles Manson?
It's kind of what they gave them the time for.
Manning.
Yeah, because if they think you got that much control over somebody in mind, you could
make somebody do anything.
So that's dangerous motherfuckers.
Yeah, you like the, you like the killer.
Really?
If you're making somebody out of a more control, so I think that's what that is, you know what I mean.
Yeah, that's shit crazy.
In regards to comedy, did you ever have an arch nemesis or what's one show you pulled
up to that other people was on the car that you was like, yo, I got to kill this shit.
Oh man.
All them motherfuckers.
I never really had friends in comedy.
I can't honestly say that.
You know what I mean?
The art form itself is not like rap music or any other thing.
It's a one-man band.
You're everything.
Yeah, you're everything.
That's why it's like so dark.
It makes you really, really cocky and it's kind of hard.
You kind of got to be like an edge.
Eddie Murphy in those positions to be like, hey, what's up, man, you know.
But coming up in it, that shit is cutthroat.
For sure it is.
It really is.
That shit is damn their worse than the rap game.
I'm serious.
The shit that didn't happen.
The shit I didn't heard.
The shit, I ain't even got to say their names.
This niggas is off the chain.
I didn't been off the chain.
So I know what it is, it's dark.
It's a dark art form.
It don't brighten up until it starts paying you.
and you can get therapy with it.
You can buy your piece a little bit.
Yeah, because I see a lot of the comedians commit suicide,
all type of shit, fucked up lives.
These are the guys that make us laugh.
Like, what's my man Mark and Mindy?
Yeah, Robin Williams.
He was hilarious, bro.
Yeah.
And, you know, every time I studied the comedians,
they always have, like, you know.
Dark lies.
Dark lies.
Well, you guys get shot.
Oh, no, we get murdered at our prime.
At least we get murdered in how dark that is, shit.
Man fuckers get murdered.
Hey, I guarantee both of you motherfuckers got some damn their life experiences fucking with this shit.
Y'all was in.
Y'all didn't say it.
I'll tell you what happened to me one time.
I know motherfuck didn't try to kill you.
I'll tell you what happened to me one time.
I'm telling you.
Straight up.
There's a club in my hand.
Ain't I got the ugly ones with me.
Like the real ugly ones.
They're all in jail forever, right?
Yeah.
We pull up Fat Joe show.
It's like a thousand people there.
Shit, it's ram-packed, right?
When you show up, they give you your second half or whatever the deposit is.
We didn't even talk about big money, right?
So he said, you're the man downstairs, so I go downstairs.
So much you think you're getting $4,000?
$7,000 or something.
So they had to give me $3,500.
Yeah.
Right?
So I go downstairs.
The Italian dude sitting there, he mad as hell.
Like, you're my man.
we need our second half.
He's just ignoring us.
It's me and my man Flex.
He's like, yo, he got an attitude.
I was like, yo, bro, you know,
it's a thousand people upstairs to see Fat Joe.
The shit is ran back with my money.
So Flex started talking to him.
You know, Flex, rest of the piece was like live.
But you start talking crazy.
This nigga pulled out the biggest gun.
And we in the big, the whole club is partying up there.
Italian, dude.
We in a big, bro, we turned around.
He's busing at us.
Basque.
We run and I got the ugly ones outside,
but they got no clue that this is happening.
I got the ugly ones.
I got horrible guys with me outside,
but this shit is going,
we run upstairs.
We go outside.
Then his people close the gate like a happy land
with people in there,
a thousand people in there.
They knew the routine.
If he shoot at you, close the gates.
even with the people in there.
So we outside, like, come outside this and that?
Man, let me tell you something.
The next day is something, my man, Big Fred, God bless him.
He used to work security there.
He came with the 3,500 and was like, yo,
they had shut down the club.
That was going to be the last day.
You know, the police came and said,
you got to shut down this club.
What was the doing one?
The Italian was tight.
I don't know.
He was tight over that.
They had nothing to do.
But he shot at us.
And we ran the fuck up out of there.
That shit was.
He didn't even know who he was.
He didn't give a fuck who I was.
He lost his lick.
He lost the bar, the club.
He was going to shoot at anything.
He didn't give a fuck.
And we was talking extra spicy.
Fuck you, man.
You don't smack the shit out of you.
You don't give me my hat.
This is that.
This is that.
The motherfucker was sparking, wasn't it?
Those shit was going to s-
Yeah.
Through that hallway.
We running through that little hallway.
Yeah.
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Hey, it's us, the Jonas brothers, and guess what?
We have some big news.
What's the news, new?
Huge news.
We created our own podcast called,
Hey, Jonas.
We invented a podcast?
Well, we didn't invent it.
We just contributed to our...
We're the first people to do podcasts.
Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there.
But this one's extra.
special. So how did we actually
come up with the name Hey Jonas, guys?
I honestly don't remember. I think it was on
a call about what we should call it
and... Well, we were thinking I'm
originally calling it
one of the early names
of our band before Jonas Brothers
was... This is how
you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a
very different memory of this. We were talking about
a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people
could call in and say, hey Jonas. And then
I wrote down on my little notepad
Hey Jonas and offered it up as
a potential title for the podcast.
But thanks for remembering that, guys.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite.
Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends.
Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you
funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,
help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.
Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter.
Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Last night, a blown call changed a game.
This morning, the internet lost its mind.
Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened.
That's where Sports Slice comes in.
I'm Timbo.
Every episode, we're cutting through the noise.
breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines.
We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions,
the stuff nobody gets to hear.
The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real.
From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down,
give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered.
Sports slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them.
Listen to SportsSlic on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
And for more, follow Timbo Slices Life 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok.
The French Open is one of the toughest tests in tennis.
And I know firsthand because I competed there myself.
I'm Renee Stubbs.
And on the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast, I'm breaking down everything happening at Roland Garris.
Every match, every upset, and what it really takes to win on clay.
Jen Chinchin win.
I mean, she went down in three to Rabakina, but I'm delighted.
She's an outsider to win the French for me.
And she likes Clay.
Listen, Lernerabakina is arguably the best player in the world right now.
And I actually can win on any surface.
Because if she's serving, well, good luck.
Consider this your court side seat to the French Open.
Listen to the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.
Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hardway with me, your host, and your favorite therapist,
Kear Games.
And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience
in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests.
I'm talking, Tript Fontaine, Ryan Clark.
Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't
realize that we are in possession of the thing.
And we're still chasing it.
And we don't know when we've done enough.
Because people scoreboard watch.
Life becomes about wins and losses.
Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,
because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth,
or are you a good person because you're afraid?
Because that's two different intentions, bro.
Absolutely.
And that's two different levels of trust.
I want you to just really be a good person.
Join me, Kear Gaines,
as we have real conversations about healing,
growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose
on my new podcast, learn the hard way.
Open your free, our heart radio app,
Search Learn the Hard Way and listen now.
We the One's Comedy Tour.
Tell us about that.
We're the One's Comedy Tour is a tour that this is our third year.
And, man, we didn't have some of the best young, high comedians from D.C. Youngfly to Carlos Miller, Mojo Brooks.
Last year, we had Little Duval, Country Wayne.
We switch it up every year, man.
This year we got, those got Mojo Brooks, Carlos, Carlos, Miller, D.C. Young Fly, me, Jay, Ski.
I'm headlining this year
I usually host it
but this time I'm going up last
and I'm gonna be the OG
I love that I hate that though
I hate when you like
you know Martin called me a couple of times
he'd do this time shit
and he'll come out and be like thank you
like I'm waiting for Mark
No I don't do that
You ever got jerked in one of those
I'm coming as a bunch of dudes I don't know
I don't know
He hosts he fucking up because I'm doing everything
Yeah he's there
You see him all night fucking and other
Yeah and I can go up behind all of them
and still do 30 minutes.
I got that in me.
You know what I'm one of them
comments.
For a fact, in the comedy,
there's definitely gotta be people
who, they gotta be biters.
That is.
Like, back in the days,
they used to have guys
to hear your moms
and then they go put it on wax
before you as fucking hits.
Like with y'all,
you ever heard somebody
talking that shit?
And you was like,
yo, what the fuck?
That's my joke.
Yeah, the whole fucking business.
Oh, shit, Mike.
Yeah, my...
Hey, well, I'm gonna tell you some crazy shit.
This is how you know that when you really own
when a big motherfucker steal something from you.
And you're like, damn.
And you're saying to yourself,
you know what you say when you see a big motherfucker that stole something
for you?
You said he had to hear from a small motherfucker
that stole it from me.
You know what I mean?
He didn't get it directly from me.
No, a small motherfucker stole it from me
and got around him and he took it from him.
He ran with the way.
Yeah.
You know, that motherfucker's, oh, a thief get, he gone.
You remember my motherfucker to take your bicycle.
You might not never see it again.
You might see the frame on your awesome.
Yeah, a nigga.
Man, them are my forks.
Nick, that bike is dissected and gone.
You know what's crazy?
I stole a truck once, right?
Now I'm going to keep it real.
Automobile?
A truck, right?
I had the same truck, but this guy had the fucking,
the wide-body kit.
Yo, God bless you, man.
I gave back so much.
God covered me for that and the karma.
I stole a truck.
We went to a nice neighborhood.
They had the fancy hood.
We took that bitch.
No, we stole that shit.
We took the shit.
We took it to the shop.
They put the hood.
The shit was stated.
Yop chopped.
You're chopped.
And they two chop.
It was the flyest truck and the South Brawl.
Sound system, this and that.
About six months later, they stole that shit for me, man.
They found nothing.
That's right.
That karma come right back.
They stole that shit.
See, that's what made me a thief.
I got everything that ever happened to me,
I was not bad yet until it happened to me.
I did not fucking get in the streets until the streets happened to me.
They stole my bike and I said,
hell no,
I'm stealing bikes.
Nick jumped me?
I said, hell no, I'm jumping, niggas.
Motherfucking snuff me, I said, nope, I'm snuffing niggas.
They robbed me.
I'm robbing, niggas.
You're lying.
It makes you do that.
That's why they say jail's a terrible place
because you go in there for one thing,
you come back and you learn.
Natives don't taught you how to steal everything moving.
That's right.
You run into real career criminals.
That's what I always said.
I said, you know when you're young
and you go in one of them badass little kids' house
and you see pictures of him when he's young
on his mantle.
He's like,
fuck him.
He ain't, you know.
He ain't that bad.
But then it was kids that smell like pee.
That you know didn't have parents.
They'll kill your ass.
That's the motherfucker that are this.
He's jealous of you while y'all together.
Y'all's supposed to be shooting at another motherfucker.
He's one that shoots you in the back.
I've seen shit like that.
I'm telling the truth.
Not in person.
No, not your kiss.
Not in person.
I seen.
They smell like pee.
I seen through shit.
He's killing you, nigger, in a robbery.
You got to.
the gun out, he's behind you, he shoot you in the back.
Wow.
Look, I used to be jealous.
He's always, jealous of my ass friend.
And I had my mother and father, but his relationship with him and his dad,
I used to be so jealous because he was just so tight.
I'd be like, damn.
My dad wasn't even around.
My father don't hug me like that.
The nigga don't show me love like that.
I was just getting jealous of you just now when you said,
I was talking about your dad.
I was saying, well, he shut the fuck up.
But I didn't say.
I acted like I enjoyed.
You said I was blessed with him even getting the cheap coat.
What?
Man, my dad used to pick me and my brother up.
And God bless him, so I love him still.
My dad used to go pick me and my brother up and act like he was gone,
take us for the weekend, and drop us over another lady house.
And my mother said, how was it?
I was like, we was over a bitch named Pat House all weekend.
She was like, Pat.
I was like, yep, we was over Pat House.
This nigga was out with another lady.
I don't know what the fuck he was doing.
But what I love about him is that he did make sure he knew who he was.
So that part of me, I'm glad I'm not a grown man trying to find out where and who my father was.
That's a whole other level of the game that I got friends like that.
Don't know where they.
Yeah.
They act like I'm their daddy sometimes.
Yeah.
And niggas of your friends act like you, they're dead.
there are well, there's ones that don't have a daddy.
You know, and I'm in the position,
niggas start acting.
I ain't fucking with this.
I tell the nigga, I ain't your daddy, nigga.
And those niggas get mad.
I'm going to kill you, nigga.
You said somebody, I ain't shit about that.
But I'm just telling you the nucleus of the mental health part of people.
Mentality.
You know what I'm saying?
That's some real shit.
Somebody that don't know their father,
you're dealing with a whole other type of person.
You know.
It's hard being a step.
A lot of them are strong, the strongest people you ever want to meet are people who are missing something.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
That is the strongest person.
Those are the strongest.
Those are the leaders.
They have to go through the most adverse.
Yeah, they're the leaders.
Like my wife, God bless her, sir.
Her diapast when she was young, she didn't know who he was.
But my wife is so powerful and resilient.
And she, I'm the bitch when it comes to her.
I'll be sitting there crying about some shit and she'd say, oh, man.
That's right.
I ain't never seen a woman
that's stronger than a man like that.
Every now and then somebody get a flag.
Yeah, man.
Every now and then somebody get the flag, huh?
He the bitch.
Yeah, listen, I ain't the only one
to get the flag.
Yeah, nigga, because I have seen some pictures
with you and your wife
but you looked at humble than the motherfucking.
I looked like I was the bitch in the relationship.
Yes.
Y'all had pink on and everything.
I said she made him put the pink on
and pink rose roys and everything.
Let me have some flyers in his head
She didn't melt it that, man
All we want is peace in harmony
All we want is peace in harmony
I'll do anything for that
All I want is seek the kingdom
No beef.
Well, I got a TV show coming with Kenya Bears
It's me and him
wrote a million movies
I got a TV show with Kenya too
Oh yeah, yeah
Yeah, Kimmy's Bronx Cafe, baby
Yeah
The Upschaws is coming out
the last season of the Upschall, me and Wanda Sykes
on Netflix.
Only on Netflix, y'all, come out January 20th.
I got another movie coming out with Kevin Hart.
75.
Some shit.
Me and this niggas.
I don't know the name of the motherfucker.
It was a big budget wide movie.
You know what I mean?
I got a little piece of money out of fucking.
You know, but.
You stay working.
You stay blessed.
I stay in the game.
Because you see them, they're almost comedians
are like America.
You're even rich or you dirt poor.
I don't believe that.
I see some...
It ain't no middle class, Nick.
Nah, there ain't.
There ain't no middle class.
It's either you rich or you poor.
You're even sleeping in your car.
Because it's a lot of comedians.
Because there's a lot of comedians.
And all of our stories are like that.
That's what I'm saying.
Man, I moved to New York in 1991
and didn't know nobody from Indiana.
And what you thought, like, you was going to blow up here?
Like, that's what the...
deal was? I came here and lived for 10 years.
Rolled the trains everywhere.
You know, one thing I did, I said I got to start wearing with them
niggas wear, so I went to Boston Timberlands.
I started learning the clock, because the shit I had when I got here
from Indiana, when I was dating girls, they was like, you gotta take that shit off.
You know, New York girls, they liked me, but they was, they were just laughing in my accent.
They said, I had to take that shit. I had a long leather trench coat with like a
A peacock shit.
Yeah, that motherfucker had a three-quarter lift with a strap.
That was a guy.
My wife, my girl said the girl I was with, she said,
you got to take that shit off, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I had some girlfriends, man, all over in the Bronx.
Man, I didn't been on the train.
I didn't have been on the sixth train with a girl, riding, going to do shows.
And that was the crazy thing about my journey is that I was here for 10 years.
I've been around everybody and everything.
And I was a ghost.
Nobody even seen me.
And I said to myself, if I was a hitman,
I could have killed the whole hip-hop business.
Yeah, you could have.
Because I was at the shark bar.
I've been in Puffy's restaurant.
I didn't been standing right next to Jay-Z at the Latin Quarter.
He was about to go on the stage.
He was a polo shirt on and a little hat.
I swear to God, I'm not lying to you.
And I was a ghost.
I was sitting there.
I watched everything.
But I did a lot of comedy shows.
I used to do shows with talent.
Man, I used to host a peppermint lounge.
It was a club in Jersey.
Off the chain.
Motherfuck be dead in front of it.
They still got the show going,
Tretsch, naughty by nature,
and them coming there every night.
Off the chain.
But I'll be telling the story to tell kids that,
especially kids that are not from big cities,
because, believe it or not,
these small towns and small cities,
some of the realest motherfuckers you ever met in your,
life come from them towns.
I'm talking about
stop down,
cold hard.
The only way you could really find
out street niggas is
is go to the feds.
And a nigger from
stanky hall,
Texan...
Cut your head off, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
So you have to understand
this real motherfuckers all over the world.
And I came to this city,
man, and I didn't have nothing.
I got on deaf comedy gym.
The first thing I ever did
that I got on here,
I was an extra on New York undercover.
It had Malik Yobo and the little Spanish dude.
I was sitting there looking at Malik talking shit.
And he laughed at me because I had an accent.
He said, man, where are you from?
I said, I'm from Indiana.
And, oh, man.
I tell you, I got some cold stories.
I was dating a girl that was in the Marcy Projects.
This is before I even knew anything about Jay-Z.
Her name was Peanut.
And I'm dating her and I go up.
She invite me to the project.
Yeah, I go.
She invited me to the project.
I go to the projects and I go upstairs.
This is the first time I smell a busy elevator.
I'm talking about, damn, I'm in New York.
I'm from Indiana.
Man, I come downstairs and when I walk out,
I mean, before I walk out, I see a hundred niggas stand.
I'm like, where the fuck did they come from?
They're on both sides of the door.
And she's like, oh, fuck them.
Come on.
I'm like, oh, no, ain't no fuck them, Nick.
But ain't nowhere to go.
Gotta go through.
They got these skips on Instagram now.
Like, with dudes come and take their girl to their crib
and it's in the projects.
10 niggas in that.
Y'niga.
Let me tell you some.
Them niggas was talking shit.
They must have knew her.
They grew up with it because I told him
that was the first time I ever taught her
to girl telling him, suck my dick, bitch-ass, Nick.
I said, what the fuck?
I ain't never heard no girl tell a nigger this.
I didn't even know you had a dick.
Yeah, yeah.
Shit flake went out here.
It blew my mind.
That was a wild shit to me.
You know what I'm saying?
I said, ooh, Lord.
I'm glad they knew her
because if they didn't know her,
they were saying her real name.
They were saying, oh, thank God she wasn't saying
because we used to have girls in my business
and she probably was up.
Oh, see, I wouldn't have came over there.
Oh, no.
The shotgun come out.
Boom, yo, you got to run your jewels.
Yeah, you got to run it.
But that was all drug bill and shit.
That's how that shit went.
Yeah.
Comedy Mount Rushmore.
Come on, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy,
or Martin Lawrence,
Bernie Matt, and Robin Harris.
Bang!
Can't nobody beat that.
Who's going to beat that five?
Who going to beat that five, man?
Nobody beating that Richard Pryt.
You know what?
Hold up.
There is an exception.
I didn't hear Dave Chappelle.
Well, Dave Chappelle is, he's younger than me.
Don't matter.
He ain't up there with them to me.
That's my opinion.
Now, I have to put him in a category that's...
Right after them, right?
Yeah, you can't tell the kids that.
Me and him looking up at the same person.
See what I'm saying?
I get it.
I'm the same way you say.
If it was hip-hop, we would mention L.L.
Yes.
Care rash, shit like that.
We ain't going to mention nobody.
Like, you would get mad if a nigger tried to say you wanted you to look up to Tim Dog.
Let me tell you something.
If a nigger tried to get you to look up to Tim Dog.
Let me tell you a story, though.
That's crazy.
He already said that.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Hold on.
Hold on a little.
How about, can I say something?
Can I fucking say something?
How about none of us in the Bronx know nothing about Tim Dog?
Tim Dogg was the first six-nine.
The nigger had real niggas behind him from the nine,
but we never knew where the fuck Tim Dog was from.
He left.
He fucked Compton.
I'm from the Bronx.
We don't know where Tim Dog is from.
He wasn't from the Bronx.
He can't go to a building and say this is
Tim Dawes. Nobody knew where he was from.
You lie. Many years later,
I don't give a fuck.
What I'm trying to tell you is,
I'm trying to think about...
He had dudes behind him
that were the real deal.
That was the non-lawful West Coast.
In the 90s.
I dare you try to call your cousins in the Bronx
to tell us where's Tim Do you're from?
Everybody, and he was saying he was
from the Bronx. But he had the
West Coast niggas mad at the Bronx.
He also had...
Listen.
That might have started East Coast, West Coast Beach.
That was the first one.
It's the first blow.
I'm trying to tell you, when 6-9 was talking that shit.
Yeah.
I'm asking my man, who's the guy standing behind him?
And they're like, yo, that's such a such.
That's such.
He's the real deal.
It made me think 6-9 was real.
Because I'm looking at the video.
He's talking all that shit.
Everybody behind him is the real deal.
Tim Dogg was the first 6-9.
He was out there, fuck, Compton.
I'm from New York, this day.
Everybody behind him was the realest.
I knew who's Tim Dogg, but I'm just trying to tell you,
I try to do the math after.
I thought about Tim Dogg.
And I was like, yo, where Tim Dog from?
And I'm asking every nigga in the Bronx.
And nobody could point to the building, all the hood.
Like they knew everybody standing behind them.
Yeah.
That was I guard, rest of peace.
That was all the non-guise.
They was the real deal.
But him.
Tim, though, because the boy ain't shit.
I think they take this death for some shit.
Yo. Yeah, I'm telling you.
Yo, Google Tim Dog. Where's he at now?
I'm telling you the truth.
Bing, Bing, Bing.
They do.
Castle Hill. No, I just kidding.
He's for Castle Hill.
I seen him at V.I.M.
Tim Dog died?
God bless Tim Dog.
That niggles eating in White Castle, man.
Dude.
Niggas,
like that.
Peace them dog,
white castles on the FDR.
You remember that
White Castle on the FDR?
White Castle's still popping.
I used to eat that white Castle.
I used to shop at that Models.
I used to live in the Bronx,
I'm telling you.
Yeah, yeah, I know he'd show them about my Soundview.
Man, I swear.
I used to go on Fordham Road and shop.
And my buddies got out of prison.
They used to come, I used to fly them.
Y'all watched some fucking dude up on Fordham Road
the other day on Instagram.
You can't have you heard?
Yeah.
Kiss.
They beat the brakes off this dude, but he dessert.
He was like a homeless dude, but naked.
And some dude got it into him, and he was fighting.
He was about the fuck the guy up.
How did he wrestle a little naked, nigga?
No, I'm telling you, I swear to God.
Some dude got it into that shit.
You know, listen, your Kay.
Kay, could you put his penis is going to touch your leg, nigg.
No, I'm going to tell you.
Yo, hold up.
I'm going to tell you.
You're going to hear some meat.
You're going to hear something doing like this.
You're going to hear something like, something is going to do like this.
That's my fucking point.
This shit is flagrant, man.
Yo, this shit is foul.
Yo, listen.
I'm trying to tell you.
Yo, all right.
I want everybody all here to Google this shit.
Listen.
The guy says to be like this.
You know, let me tell the story.
Yo.
Man, you ran off the road every time.
Okay.
Now.
Joe.
Now can we clear the floor?
I don't make this shit up.
I don't make this shit up.
I just tell it like it is.
It's a big homeless motherfucker ass naked on Fordham Road.
Here we go here.
He argued, listen, listen, Mike.
He arguing with the dude, the dude try to fight him.
The dude try to fight him.
He's butt naked.
That was horrible.
This guy starts fucking the dude up.
The naked, nigger.
The whole neighborhood, even the paws, the Frankfurter male, the ladies, everybody beat this nigger's ass.
The butt naked dude, the whole Fordham Road jumped them.
Fifty niggas like, yo, the fuck out of here.
Like, yo, when I say the ladies walked by and was like, boom, like, he was foul.
Yeah, because it's kids around.
That nigga bought six, seven foot tall.
That niggas ass.
Pralick, yeah, yo, he butt naked in the middle of his.
daytime, it looked like the morning.
Yo,
you're about to beat the shit out of the kid
who's one guy who had the coverage
to be like, yo, my man, what the fuck you doing?
He started beating him up.
You hear what I'm saying?
I didn't deal with a nigga.
I mean, just...
Why do he even want to go next to a naked homeless person?
No, no, but he took one thing about police
that's hard for them because they got a lot of...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they got a lot of naked nigga's ass.
I think they do that often.
I think they do that often, too.
That's not a far fetcher.
I'm saying I've seen the video.
Y'all could Google it.
The little guy tried to tell them,
my man, you're as woman out here.
Like, fuck you.
I don't know what it was.
I couldn't hear the volume.
Yeah.
But they scrapped.
And the butt-naked nigga
was getting the best of him in the middle.
Man, they beat the brakes off this month.
They hit this nigga with the frank for the truck.
Everybody got in on this shit.
You know when the neighborhood,
they don't want to, they, they tight at this shit.
The nicest guy in the world walked by and stomped that nigga.
They all gave it to them.
Like, everybody, the whole neighborhood.
Are y'all going to be in the music?
I know y'all going to be in the hip-hop museum, mate.
They got a piece of them.
Yeah, yeah, I fuck with the, I fuck with the hip-hop museum.
Shout out, Ruben Diaz.
No, it's going to be in the Bronx.
Bronx.
To the Bronx, about 149th.
Yo, what's stuff?
They said they do a new.
You don't want to fuck what they're doing a new one?
They're saying they doing a new one.
It's in the Bronx, man.
Shout out the Rock.
He's shout out to Ruben Diaz.
We just, that's where they gave me the award.
It's going to be in the Bronx.
Where hip-hop started.
And the locks, man, I'm telling you,
let me tell you something about the locks.
This is a fraud.
I thought I was fried.
My guess, he fried.
The locks got, because y'all got fans in Cincinnati and shit like that.
We fuck with all that.
Y'all test a lot of Midwest, motherfucker.
Joe got a lot of Florida.
They love you on Florida.
The Trump is, huh?
Florida, they fuck with Joe Crack.
But, you know, it's people,
the older people down in Florida,
they don't even know you rap.
They just know you as to who you are.
And if you say,
you ever heard of Fat Joe's song?
He said, I didn't know he made music.
I said, yeah, that's where he,
then after the music, you say,
you know Fat Joe was drugged?
I didn't know.
And they see them pictures when you had the big black coat.
You know, you're dappadarin shit.
No, this was an Army military thought.
You didn't have no money.
You was poor as a motherfucker in this video I seen.
This video I'm talking about, you was on welfare.
He said, nah, at the top of this.
No, call me a military.
That boy, I'll never hate on you when I see you in front of them rose voices with them outfits.
I say, that nigga deserved that shit, because I've seen that nigga poor.
You see me with the herring bone chain.
You didn't have nothing.
You had a black
The black army jacket
And some boots
You're dusty as hell
So when I see you clean
I'm like oh that nigga deserved that shit
That's what I'm trying to say
Dasty dick is too
Yeah
Dusty niggins the first lot
Them first lot, them first motherfucker
Ooh that young Jada kid was going to prison
That's why when I see
When I see Jadake's real father
I said ain't no way in hell
that nice-ass man had that dusty-ass little boy like that.
I said he didn't do nothing that man told him to do.
You could tell.
I said, how to hell?
I said, that thing his father looked like a principal boy in high school.
How to hell he has a dusty ass for criminal son like that?
I said, that boy didn't do nothing.
That man told him to do.
That's a fact.
Yo, man, but thank God, man.
We slipped through the cracks, man, and that's what we be trying to like.
I tell you the truth.
I get up every day and I can't believe it.
I swear to God, I'm telling you all, guys, God is real.
Did you get up?
No, I can't believe that I own a house.
Like, literally.
I can't believe.
I literally own a house.
I'm just saying, I can't believe I own the metro.
You know, this guy's crazy.
I can't believe I own a house.
I can't believe I got a car.
Can't believe, you know, shit was fucked up when I grew up.
This shit is the simple things.
The littlest thing.
You can get mad a little bit sometimes when you see.
Do you kind of get mad?
I mean, you don't get mad, but sometimes I get a little frustrated with my kids because I wish.
Sometimes.
I wish they went.
They can live a week.
They can go back and do a week.
I said, man.
This one week,
they'll come back
and be humble as a mother five.
I know, man.
You know what the problem is?
I can't even explain it to them.
You know what I mean?
Never going to reach.
Yeah, I can't explain it to them.
I'm happy that I can do it for him,
but I'm mad.
So we ain't toast, Jada.
We ain't toast yet.
In fact.
This to the tour,
the comedy tour.
Yeah.
We're the ones, y'all.
We're the ones to talk.
You know, get tickets available.
All right now.
We'll get knowledge yourself.
Make sure you get tickets
to the comedy.
He told, man.
You're saying to you.
Third years.
Third year and there's more to come.
Yo, Mike, let me explain, Cindy.
This podcast.
Yeah.
Then there's the Joe and Jada.
Y'all doing a great job, man.
How many episodes y'all got?
Like 50-something now.
Oh, you're looking like.
Oh, no, we hydro-plaining right now.
Shit.
Mike, so y'all could know.
I did Noriega's first one, the drink champs.
I did the first fucking drink champ.
I was the first one on there.
and look at his ass.
That motherfucker, I'm telling you,
this is the best thing that could ever happen to us
and it's good that y'all doing it now
because it's security to burn that niggas.
If you ain't in, it's over with.
Because I'm telling the truth.
And it's hard to get a good combination.
Because they were saying,
they were saying they get in the bag and all right.
Now I see everybody's mother and cousin with the podcast.
I say, yo, I hope I ain't.
It don't work, though.
We missed it.
It ain't worked.
Wire, nigga, the train.
No, it don't.
It ain't working.
It ain't working.
No, no, no.
Everybody coming up to, yo, congratulations on yours.
I got mine.
I'm like, that's okay, brother.
Because I've never been a hater.
Like, all right, brother, no problem.
This, guys I know they don't even talk too worse.
They're like, yo, I got my own podcast.
Yo, it's like, good luck.
Like, good.
Well, I'm like, yo, did we miss the golden age?
No, the combination got to work.
And another thing, too, you got to always remember, you came in the door already made.
You already made.
That's the shit you say to them.
I'm saying?
It's hard to make yourself and then make yourself.
You got to, I'm going to make myself.
Now, that's like a Stephen A or something.
That's like one out of a million, somebody that really didn't know that just make their personality just attracted.
You know what I knew?
You know when I knew we was big?
Yeah.
We had Stephen A. Smith two days ago on here, and he shitted on me on my own show.
But you know what that told me when I went home?
I thought to myself, I said, we got to be on fight.
He made it his business to come on here and shit on me.
He see us, like the trainers coming, baby, the trainers.
I'm telling you, when somebody that big turned around to snipe you,
say Mike Epson's coming up in the game and he gets a little baby kids to diss him.
He said, oh, shit.
I must be, they, they fill in the foot stuff.
Yeah, you gotta look at that
because they ain't gonna pick on you if you ain't popping.
Yeah.
He said, hold up.
If a motherfucker like to, if you like you too much, you know.
I told him, yo, I want to be the next commentator.
He said, nah, nah, nah, that shit ain't gonna work.
He's like, yo, don't come in this space.
Did he say that?
Yeah, you said that shit.
I agree with him.
Because he said, man, you tell him.
He said, Joe, you tell them.
He said you tell so much stories.
The sky's the limit.
Nobody can tell you what you can't do, man.
Yeah, yeah.
Stephen A was up here, but I saw what it was.
We fucking everybody up.
Everybody dizzy right now.
They can't believe the shit that's going on.
Mike Epp sent me and say, you're drawing in town.
Can I pull up?
I did.
This guy's sell-out stadium.
I did.
But he knows who the hottest thing is in town.
Yeah, I always, I always, I always, I always fuck with Jada.
And I've been fucking.
The shit is in our hands.
The weather.
It's five.
When you shoot, you know, when you shoot and you got the firepower that this.
This is off one sip.
Y'all, if he finished that whole thing, y' asses in Trump.
Oh, oh.
Now, though.
Yo, Mike, can I talk my shit, though?
Talk your shit.
Pop your shit.
Pop your shit.
I said, I seen them.
And they was Millie Vanillion.
I seen them all, and they was Millie Vanilli.
You don't know what Millie ornilly is.
youth, they was faking the fuck.
And these guys was out here talking big
shit. And they was criticizing
motherfuckers and they never did shit
and hip-hop in their life.
And I know...
Never sold a record, huh?
Never sold the record. I know the day
they saw, hey, Joe and Jeter,
they knew their shit was over. Oh, yeah.
I don't give a fuck.
Who you is? How big you is?
Whatever the case may is.
Then niggas knew it's
over. Why? We got
Top 5 dead or alive. We got Fat Joe.
He don't give a... Fat Joe don't give a fuck.
Hey, it's us, the Jonas brothers. And guess what? We have some big news.
What's the news, name? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.
We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it.
We're the first people to do podcasts.
Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special.
So how do we actually come up with a name Hey Jonas, guys?
I honestly don't remember.
I think it was on a call about what we should call it.
We were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers.
This is how you guys remember it going down?
Yes.
I have a very different memory of this.
We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas.
And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast.
But thanks for remembering that, guys.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from some SNL, late-night comedy guy, not quite.
Unhumor me with Robert Smigel and Friends.
Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.
This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.
Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter.
Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Last night, a blown call changed a game.
This morning, the internet lost its mind.
Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened.
That's where Sports Slice comes in.
I'm Timbo.
Every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines.
We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves.
their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear.
The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real.
From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down,
give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered.
Sportslice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them.
Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
And for more, follow Timbo Slicelife-12 and the TikTok podcast.
network on TikTok.
The French Open is one of the toughest tests in tennis, and I know firsthand because I
competed there myself.
I'm Renee Stubbs, and on the Renee Stubbs Tennis podcast, I'm breaking down everything
happening at Roland Garris, every match, every upset, and what it really takes to win on clay.
Jench and won.
I mean, she went down in three to Rabakina, but I'm delighted.
She's an outsider to win the French, me.
And she likes Clay.
Listen, Lena Rubakina is arguably the best player in the world right now
and I actually can win on any surface
because if she's serving, well, good luck.
Consider this your court side seat to the French Open.
Listen to the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.
Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me,
your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games.
And in recognition of mental health awareness month,
I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience
in the mental health field and conversations
with so many incredible guests.
I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark.
Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing,
we get so wrapped up in the chase
that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing
and we're still chasing it
and we don't know when we've done enough
because people scoreboard watch.
Life becomes about wins and losses.
Steve Burns, Dustin Ross,
you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth?
Are you a good person because you're afraid?
Because that's two different intentions, bro.
Absolutely.
And that's two different levels of trust.
I want you to just really be a good person.
Join me, Kear Gaines, is we have real conversations about healing,
growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast,
Learn the Hardway.
Open your free, Our Heart Radio app.
Search Learn the Hardway and listen now.
I'm going to tell you the most powerful thing y'all got going on.
I just told Jay the outside
is y'all totally different.
And he's got a whole different story.
He comes from a similar, but not close,
but a different area than you.
You come from a different area.
And, man, y'all just different.
If they would have had another guy
that was similar to you or another guy,
that shit wouldn't have worked.
And that's really what is paired up in the podcast thing.
It's like you can't really put the same people around each other.
Listen, I thank God for the God.
You gotta have peanut butter and jelly, bro.
He brings me back to life.
Peanut butter and jelly.
You got it, you know what I mean?
If I had, imagine my co-host
with Yeo, we have wrapped beef
with guys who ain't even here.
When we go to heaven, we already know we got beef.
Or just like a fresh Montana or something.
He slowed me up and be like, yo,
Crills, chill, crack.
Imagine I had a Tony Yeo, a live water.
We got beef.
We can't even come outside.
Yeah, yeah.
Some of these guys can't come outside.
Right, right.
That's another thing.
Sure.
Some of these got, your kids, come on, kid, you know it's true.
Well, what if you did a lot of these guys talking this shit?
What if you did an interview?
What if it was you and granddaddy IU, rest and feast.
It's something new from the granddaddy IU.
You know what about real hip-hop right here.
Thank God I knew the words, kiss.
Yo, kiss, at least I do the words, right?
Hey, can I ask you some hip-hop, real hip-hop questions?
We hear, that's what we hear.
Do you think Kay Solo was the first Red Man?
I don't know if he's the first Red Man, but...
Kay Solo was really, really, really, really dope.
Spellbound.
I don't know what it was.
They reminded me.
I thought they was brothers.
She and my business.
Jamona, I thought they was brothers.
Me too.
I thought they was...
Spellbound.
Spellbound?
Spellbound.
Spellbound is dead.
DMX.
DMX?
They're at Bees in jail.
Did they?
That's why I want
get at me, doggy say,
tell that nigga K Solo.
That's all over.
Damn, that's some shit right there.
Spellbound when they was in
they was in the mining block
in Long Island somewhere
and locked up together and they
they said DMX did it.
Kay Solo got on and it stole
spellbound.
You know who I thought was related to
DMX? Because I was around him one time
and the niggins
His energy was just like him, Father MC.
You remember Father MC?
You think Father MC was like...
No, I'm saying that I've seen him and he was wild.
He was just wild.
I didn't think he was like him.
But I, you know...
No, Father MC was the man.
But I seen him.
I just seen him.
Yeah, he was wild as hell.
Father MC was...
Listen, I got one DMX story.
DMX and Big Pun had a show in like a baby arena in Brooklyn.
we went to the gas station and DMX said,
you'll hold up one second and stuck the guy up for his chain
and came back with the guy chain on.
And I'm like, yo, there's just no way.
This thing had the whole world going to get at me, dog,
and he stick this nigga up for his chain in the gas station.
I didn't understand how that happens.
I'm like, yo, DMX was, yo, DMX.
You know DMX more than anybody.
I see him DMX and he was, he was seeing me at the gas station.
He was, you know, fuck, he was talking shit.
And man, and he seen my eye, that motherfucker turned into a whole other person.
Yes, ma'am.
And does it.
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.
Oh, God bless you.
I pay you.
I love you.
I said, damn, what kind of nigga is to turn into a sweet thing?
This thing is, I'm telling you, turn it to a church dude.
Right in front of, you know what I'm saying?
Like, he had another.
Savage.
Pick up kid to the past.
He came to my show, and he was in the back,
and Dougie Fress was on the stage,
and he said,
DMX was going up.
He has,
he has some Popeyes,
he had some girls with him.
He was eating the Popeye.
He was on one that night.
He was like, fuck that shit.
He said, I said, I'm going to bring you up.
He's like, well, come on, bring me up.
And tell the niggins he got on the stage
with all this, hibody, jimmy, shit.
Talking about, talking about, talking about,
Dougie Pres was up there.
Heavity, heavity.
That sound like extras.
Yeah, man.
Let me tell you suck.
That nigga pulled me over that time.
Then he pulled me over and tried to buy my car.
And that nigga had a light skin niggil was about 6-6 that was dusty.
He wasn't even smile.
I said, what's up, man?
He wouldn't even say.
Well, that was big.
Big spank.
Yeah, big light-skinned.
Had a big square box head.
That nigga was dusty.
I said, damn, where did you get this nigga at right here, man?
You ordered this nigga.
You want to know what?
What's crazy?
What's wrong with just being security or holding somebody?
Like, when I come and I see Jay to Kiss crew, I'm like, yo, what's up?
What's good, y'all?
This, this, dad.
You see, let's say, welcome home Max B.
Max B just came home.
And I see videos of other rappers going to say what's up to him, and his security is like,
looking at the niggas, like, what are you supposed to do?
Like, are you going to beat up the rapper that's coming to say hi to him, welcome home?
They're looking like, is that your,
Is that the qualification, my nigga?
Like, what is the qualification of it?
Like, if you know they're coming to say hi to the brother,
he just came home, why are you looking at that dude's like,
like, what are you getting out of it?
As soon as you hear that pop, pop, pop, pop, all that niggas is gone.
Yeah, that's a little bit different.
Get on the ground, watch out, watch out, move.
Watch on ground.
You know, that pop, pop, pop.
You know, that pop, pop, pop, baby, everybody gone.
How about you hear the pap?
I seen niggas shoot at a nigger one time, one shotgun,
two fucking nines, four, fives.
They was like having an okay carouse.
Pop, pop, boom, pop, boom.
They nuts was hanging in the middle of the block.
Nigger turned the run away.
With the 22.
Pat!
That's just that bing, bing, bing niggas dove underneath cars.
It was no more, yeah, rah!
It's a different thing when you shooting at somebody who ain't got the hammer.
The nigger turned around with the small.
smallest caliber gunner said,
Pat,
niggas like,
ah,
diving underneath the cars and shit.
They don't want that shit back.
Back in the day,
them 22s.
Oh, yeah,
it's a different story
when somebody's shooting back at you.
They don't want that.
Yeah, it's hard.
Yeah, everybody thinks
when you're shooting back at you is just like the catch-up.
The catch-up?
Where did it catch-up at?
Let me tell you a cold story.
I had a buddy
that guy shot in the stomach.
He had the shit pack.
No flags for that.
Take their flags back.
He had a shit pack.
Somebody shot him in the stomach.
He had a shit pack.
Didn't nobody know it.
But he still taught karate.
He was a karate teacher.
Somebody did a back kick.
They kicked the bag.
Bown.
The KV.
Bost this shit open.
You know what the word was?
You know what the word was?
Shit.
You know Master McGee got shit kicked out of him up here at the karate slated.
Master McGee got the shit kicked out of it.
Kick the bag.
Bag busted.
I told a story on here.
I got it.
One of them Fat Joe imaginary stories.
Let me tell you, one of them fat Joe imaginary stories,
but Mayo was there.
Well, I tell you, I beat up the karate nigger.
They think because they know karate.
You beat a karate nigga?
Karate nigger used to come to school with the trophy every day,
the moccasins.
Them little black shoes with the red on the bottom.
One day he said some wild shit to me.
I said, yo, my man.
Who the fuck you talking?
to karate. He was like, y'all be
you know, nigga, I beat him
up. The karate, nigga, that shit don't work
in the streets. Yeah. The karate
shit do not work in the streets.
Grab your foot. I've never seen
a guy bust out karate to be honest with you.
I know that's for like discipline
or whatever, but I've never seen nobody
bust out there. Have you ever seen
see somebody run out there? Yo, what's up?
Nigger, what's good? And he started
I know. Can I tell you who I
never see. Can I tell you who will fuck you up?
Can I tell you who will fuck you up?
with a suit on.
The shit out of them.
The fucking, the, the,
the nation of Islam will fuck you up
with a suit on.
I don't think of three thousand.
You'd be like, God damn.
I'm talking about
thigh, everything.
Vest, nigga, cuck up.
And then help you up, brother.
You need to get your life together, brother.
Yeah, get your life together, brother.
Brother, we could teach you some lessons.
Yeah, brother, get on up.
Don't ever make me do that to you again, brother.
In the name of Allah, brother,
stand on up.
Get on up out here.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
I'm with that shit.
If you ever do an event,
no, I don't want to do it.
I know the nation of Islam.
You're talking to the wrong guy?
I know the nation of Islam.
Shout out my brother Arthur 4X.
Now he's the biggest one in the game.
I know all of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Mustap, brother, Nouri and all that.
See, now I'm going to tell you something about the nation of Islam.
If you ever do anything around black people,
always call them.
because what they do is they have the ability
to neutralize color people.
I'm serious.
Yeah, they do.
I don't know what it is about them.
I don't give a damn.
And I live in L.A.
That crips and blood shit,
if you bring them around each other,
they're going to fight and kill each other.
But when the nation of Islam is there,
I don't know what it is.
It's almost like caretakers for the niggas in the streets.
I'm serious.
It's like babysitters.
They like babysitters for ignorant motherfuckers.
Because you know what?
When you got somebody...
And the ignorant motherfucker just calmed down when they see that time.
When you got somebody who takes...
Give me one a year.
Let me see your...
Take people and transform them and give them jobs
and fucking do positive for their people.
And it was just like you.
You respect them off rip.
The respect level is all about everything in life is the respect.
Have you ever stole something from Odell?
Well, I ain't still nothing from the nation of Islam.
Not a bean pie.
nothing, bro.
Models.
Have you ever stole something from Models?
I stole stuff from a lot of places.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I stole from a lot of places.
When you was hungry, man.
I got my ass what for still?
And you were hungry.
Hungry like a motherfucker.
We used to play spades in the hood.
Where did you go swimming at?
Cotona pool.
We didn't have no pool.
And you was hungry as hell when you was done eating.
Cotona pool?
Right?
Let me tell you something.
After you go swimming, you'd be hungry as, as,
A mother-fuss.
If you play spades, whoever lose spades,
got to go to the bodega and steal,
you mean, like, you all want some sweet,
salt and vinegar chips,
I want some chef boy, R.D.
Then they tell you to steal the ice cream.
You got to steal the ice cream in front of popping.
You will get your ass whoop.
Right?
But we had to, that was the shit.
If you lost the spades game,
you got to go in there and steal whatever's on the list
and come back with it.
When they do catch you,
you get your ass,
Like, what?
Like, I've been in places where they'll beat the brakes off you
for stealing some shit.
And then they won't put you in jail.
Yeah.
They'll just whip your ass.
Did you ever see Jeff Red when you was a kid?
You ever heard of Jeff Red?
Hell yeah, I see Jeff Red or other.
That's a player, I ain't a man.
That's right, my name.
Old school Jeff Red used to sing.
That was from Mount Vernon.
What was this song he's song?
You don't know Jeff.
I called.
You called me.
I heard you call.
I was Andre Hareel is one of his first adage.
Yeah, his first artist.
What about Tila Rock?
Did you ever meet him?
I know Tila Rock.
Let me tell you about Tila Rock.
Let me tell you about Tila Rock.
Commentating, Blum, Blum, illustrating description, given.
Let me tell you something.
He still comes to my store and shops.
Wow.
Like, he ain't a bum.
They used this song, bro.
So many people use this song.
Tila Rock was ahead of time.
He come to my store.
You know who else?
R.L. from next.
Whenever he in town, he'd come drop four or five thousand in the store.
He's doing, I could tell you.
Where's the store in Miami?
No, we got three stores up here, the Bronx, Harlem, and Watson.
They just sold me a 10 and a half and eight a half.
They had to meet the quota.
I won't be going to your store, sir.
Yo, Mike.
I appreciate that.
I was just thinking about going.
Yo, Mike.
And I go there.
They had to meet the quota.
I said, yo, I need 10 pairs of time.
Tim sold today.
They sold Kiss the size 12
and the 8-10.
That's the oldest.
You know what?
I blame you.
I blame you.
You shouldn't have got God like that.
When he told me that shit,
I knew it wasn't the mistake.
He told me that's not going like this.
Flip the box up.
That's just that minute.
When he told me that shit, I said,
but they did it.
Kids, I call the nigger FaceTime.
They over there laughing this shit.
I said, yo, this kiss is my partner, man.
y'all going to do it.
Fucking kiss.
It used to be...
They act like I have to rock this one big leg.
You had the...
Abrams.
Was there any girl that you wanted
and you couldn't get when you wasn't famous
and when you got famous, you kind of went looking
and when you're seeing her, you couldn't believe you wanted her?
You know, I don't want to lie to you guys.
I never had a confidence problem.
So even since I was a young nigga, I always had a bad...
It is.
I thought I was the shit
and I would go into the spot
and I would rap to the baddest
even when you're fat
fat, fat Joe
fat Joe was walking around
thinking he was Prince Charming my nigga
like are you kidding me?
I never had a confidence problem
I own the name Fat Joe
since I'm fucking three years old
Hey Fat Joey
I never thought I was like
I'm walking out there with the best of them
I got green eyes
I'm fly smell good
Army jacket
I ain't give a fuck
I'm proud of you.
I'm happy for you.
For a man.
Tim's, you're in trouble.
I'll tell you one thing.
They used to want to whip my ass out there.
Why?
Because I always had the baddest chick.
So what I'm trying to you is,
and I was the most ignorant ghetto nigger
you ever seen in the history of mankind.
Like, I'd be like, I had this one girl
and the whole neighborhood want to kill me over,
and I'd be like, you?
Was you mad?
You as fat?
Suts or such!
Come down.
Now.
Niggas is tight.
Like, they mad.
You even talking to.
Now!
Niggas is looking at me like,
yo, it's a movie.
I'm a...
Did they make you fit mad?
Was you mad because you was fat?
I used to drive around the Bronx and Harlem
with no shirt on and ten chains in the Jeep with the top off.
I never gave a fucking other thing.
The girl from SWV,
Coco.
Coco from SVOV.
She from my projects.
Yeah.
She tell me all the time,
yo, I know fat,
I know fat, fat, Joey.
No shirt on in the summer.
don't give a fuck.
I never gave a fuck.
I never looked at it as a disability.
No draws on, nothing.
I ain't saying that.
No drawers, or just shorts, crack his ass,
gold chain.
Your Mike, I'm not saying that.
You know you ain't had no draws on, man,
under the basketball shorts, but,
you know you ain't no draws on
up under them basketball shorts, man.
You know you had them Nick shorts on
with no draws on up on them, sweaty,
stuck on the motherfucker broke
on the FDRs,
sweating, went 10-10 on, chest-hot.
This ain't that, man.
This is the biggest in the fucking game, you hear me?
This ain't that.
Y'all, listen, listen, your Mike.
Your Mike, I don't give a fuck, Mike.
Like, listen.
Fat Joe, fat, y'all.
I've never been scared.
I've never been unconfident.
You're right, because you have a beautiful wife.
Oh, my God, listen.
You have a beautiful wife.
And I'm not.
gonna lie. When I first seen y'all together, I was like, how the fuck did he get her?
Hey, I got a broke too. I was broke like this big.
I don't give a fuck, man. I never gave a fuck. You know what? She must have seen that you was
going to lose the weight one day.
Nah.
She said, I'm going to get a good Joe out of this nigga. One day.
She would have to be a scientist to predict the Ozempic was coming out.
She would have to be a fucking fortune teller to predict your host. One day she would have to be a
One day there'll be a drug called OZempic.
He'll lose weight.
This OZepic shit out of control, huh?
And these niggas made everybody mad at Puffy.
I was like the locks made everybody like, why don't he leave them niggas alone?
God damn.
Let them go.
They were smothering you, man.
And then by the time you got on that versus, it was like vindication.
And it was like, damn.
What about when they start hitting animals with those animals?
What, to go get skinnier, animals?
It's to hit them with it.
No.
Listen, let me tell you something.
They need those Zimpic.
They need to change that shit for liquor to and whatever.
Your guys, gnatures I knew got shot and survived for being fat.
Yeah, me too.
My buddy got hit about 12 times.
The doctor told niggas the same shit, yo, if you ain't have this fat,
Yeah, you were to survive right now.
You wouldn't die.
But let me tell you something.
They died fat niggas.
Instead, that Ozzympic is a transforming drug.
That's just saving lives.
Like, you know, they're trying to get that, give that shit up for cheap.
You know that, they keep trying to lie out.
Because, you know, that saves so many lives.
All of this stuff is linked together.
Like, when you think about, I mean, like, people are really, really upset with Trump.
But if you really, really think about it, if you think about the whole,
whole grand scheme of things,
what he's taken away from people
is really a trickle effect of unhealthy shit.
The food stamps,
I know nobody is,
I've never seen nobody spend no food stamps
in whole foods. I heard they accept them,
but I ain't never seen nobody pull none out
at the fucking cash rate.
It ain't enough for that.
Because the place is a healthy place to eat.
I think people buy Cheetos
and bullshit with,
and I'm just saying this,
for black people.
I know motherfuckers get mad,
Spanish, but black people,
they said there's more white people
on food stamps than black people.
It may be, but black people,
let the fucking shit go.
I'm tired of seeing three generations
of mothers on fucking food stamps.
It's over with.
Let, let them take,
that you're taking away from food stamps,
let that be, guess what?
This is the start of,
I don't need that shit no more.
I'm gonna tell you something.
Because I was there
with food stamps came.
came out.
The projects and food stamps.
They came out in our era.
They should have been temporary.
And so what happens when you stuck in the projects?
Our mother started with.
Everybody thinks they're paying cheap with.
Yes.
But it stops you from getting a good job of competing or becoming the real boss.
So all this shit is a gimmick and systemic to hold you back from competing.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes.
But I'm not.
I'm not.
There are some people that really need it.
There's some people that need it.
There's some people that really need it.
I'm not saying the people who.
worked all their life.
Now they're old.
They need some food stamps or whatever the case may be.
I get on single parent moms.
The pops don't give a fuck.
They need that food.
And you know that at the time.
We needed them food stamps.
Really came in handy for me, man.
So it's like.
I'm going to buy some now.
I know.
I got a plug to buy.
Or I'll take you up to the save home.
They start selling Lucy's with to the food stamps.
I sit out there in a phone line.
You bring the groceries out.
The Lucy's.
But you know what?
It's time for everybody to get healthy.
It's time for everybody to be independent.
It's time for everybody to work for their future.
If you're dependent on these things for too long, you're out the game.
And think about the potential.
I grew up in the projects.
Jay-Z grew up in the projects.
We grew up eating the worst shit ever.
But imagine if Jay-Z would have said,
yo, I want food stamps.
I don't want to compete.
I don't want to show how smart I am.
I don't want to show him I'm a genius of this.
I'm cool with the $100 rent.
Get all this shit.
Hold on stamps.
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that.
That's what you say.
That's what I'm saying is that environment we came up on.
You said imagine H.
JZ on stamps.
I have family members.
And with the still the same lab.
Family members.
I have family members.
Spending the stamps with their same lab.
I have family members who told me they don't want to be.
They didn't want the stamps.
I can't imagine.
I got family members who told me,
Yo, all we want is the stance.
We don't care.
I rent this paid, this, this, that.
You, but don't you want to go to college?
Don't you want to get ahead?
Don't you want to now I'm comfortable here?
I've literally, I swear to God,
I have family members who don't want to be nothing more
but then on Section 8.
You know why, Joe?
Because the responsibility is too great.
The most, the scariest thing in the world is responsibility.
And people don't understand that you can manage it,
but you got to manage your personal life too.
People don't know all of us connected.
You drinking water, you're being healthy.
All of this is connected to you being...
That's right.
And that responsible connected to you being a businessman,
that responsible connected to you being...
You're missing one link out of that motherfucker.
Ain't never going to work.
you got to cover every base of that.
And they don't teach the kids that.
They tell the motherfuck go do one of them and don't teach them the other three.
That's my theory with guys in jail.
There's a lot of guys.
You're going to wash your hands first.
I've got to catch a case and go back in there because they don't want to pay your house.
Wash your butt.
This ain't that.
That ain't this.
It's cracking kids.
Make sure noise for my catcher.
That was hot right there, man.
We're upset.
Hey guys, it's us.
The Jonas Brothers.
I'm Joe.
I'm Kevin.
And I'm Nick.
And guess what?
We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas.
We invented a podcast?
Well, we didn't invent it.
We just contributed to it.
We're the first people to do podcasts.
We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.
Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it.
But, you know, tired and sick.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Just listen.
We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not.
Quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to
David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter
Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert
Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Michelle McPhee, and I've been unraveling the source.
strangest criminal alliance I've ever reported on, a Mormon polygamist and an Armenian businessman.
Multi-million dollar house, Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets, a billion dollar fraud.
But how long can this alliance last?
Tell me what you know. Is somebody coming after me?
Listen to Kingdom of Fraud on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Last night, a blown call changed the game.
This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened.
That's where SportsSlice comes in.
I'm Timbo, and every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments
in sports and giving you the real story behind the headline.
And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves, their locker room stories,
their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear.
Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
And for more, follow Timbo Slicalife Life 12.
and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok.
Winning on Clay is an art.
The rallies are relentless.
And at the French Open, only the toughest survive.
I'd know.
I competed there for decades.
Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs' tennis podcast
for no-nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches,
the toughest players, and the moments that define Roland Garros.
She's an outsider to win the French name.
And she likes Clay.
Listen, Lerabakina is arguably the best player in the world right now,
and I actually can win on any surface.
Listen to the Renee Stubborn.
It's tennis podcasts on the IHeart Radio app.
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.
