The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Are You Okay Being You?

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

In today's society it can be so tempting to compare ourselves with others and to feel insecure. Jeff offers us various Scripture verses that help us find our confidence in the Lord, and reminds us that the only person we need to compare ourselves with is Jesus Christ. Snippet from the Show Conversion is not about being a better version of yourself, it’s about becoming like Jesus Christ. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

You're listening to the Jeff Kavana's show, episode 243. Are you okay, being you? Hey, I'm Jeff Kavins. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general. It's the Jeff Kaven show. And here we are again. talking about good things in life, things that regarding our faith and our walk with the Lord, evangelization, discipleship, family, worship, Eucharist, sacrament, everything. It's just the place we come together to talk as friends and I look forward to it every week. Hey, got a lot of feedback on the Insight Journal last week. Two thumbs up. Thank you so much. And really looking forward, Really looking forward to hearing how you're using it to, you know, literally write down the gold and the wonderful insights in your life.

Got one couple that each have an insight journal, and they are writing an insight journal for their mate for each other, gathering insights that will help them. And it's going to be like a year project, and after the year they're going to give the Insight Journal to the other ones, things that they heard and their prayers and quotes of the saints that they want to give their husband. They want to give their wife. Kind of a cool idea, I think. And I'm looking forward to seeing that. I hope they share it. A lot of people are starting to share their insight journals with other people.

And I'll put that in the show notes if you don't have your insight journals, something that Father Mike Schmitz and I put together right in the middle of the Bible in a year is a way to keep track of the insights in your life. Hey, let me ask you a question, can I? In the midst of all the craziness going on, we got off the whole thing with elections and the whole COVID and vaccines and all of that and, you know, everything that's going on. Let me ask you a question. Are you okay being you? I mean, seriously, are you okay?

How are you doing? How are you doing in life right now as a husband, as a wife, as a single person, as a priest? a deacon, religious. My friend, how are you doing? I hope you're doing well. I really do. And I got to thinking about this show this week. And I really was made aware of just how many times, how much we compare ourselves to other things and other people and other times, other cultures, other circumstances. We were constantly kind of comparing ourselves. And quite a while ago, I did a podcast called Mirror Mirror on the web about, you know, always gauging ourselves on social media and how we're doing and am I pretty enough and I'm smart enough? Does my home look right

on Facebook? You know, all those things that people do to try to compare themselves with others. And I don't, I get it, you know, I get it because, because, you know, so often we get a beat on how we're doing by comparing ourselves with other people, whether it's my life, my marriage, my home, my kids, my clothes, my house, my car, whatever it might, lake home, whatever it might be. And I think sometimes we don't just take the time to say, you know what, I'm okay. I'm okay being me. I really am.

And at times I may say that and mean it like 80%, but there are those times and I love it when I can honestly say, looking into the mirror, mirror on the web, I can say, I'm all right, I'm all right being me. And I hope you're all right being you. I do. So a few things that we, here's what I'd like to do. I want to talk about a few things that we do compare ourselves to, which I think really confuses our life. And then I want to give you some scriptures that will help you to pursue the praises of God rather than man, to compare yourself, to compare yourself, to Jesus Christ, instead of other people. Right there, you're saying, okay, I lost out right now.

It was bad enough to be compared with people on Facebook, and now you're comparing me with God. Now, I'm not comparing you to God in the sense of judging you. I'm comparing my life to Jesus in a sense of trying to become more like him. Because you see, conversion in life is not, repeat with me, not. conversion in life is not about becoming better that's not conversion that's a self-help program

conversion is not about becoming better it's about becoming like someone that is Jesus Christ and in my pursuit of Jesus in my life right now and in my relationship with Jesus and my wife and myself our relationship with Jesus I got to say I'm okay being me

I am I'm all right you say, Jeff, don't you want to, don't you want to be more? Oh, maybe, you know, do you want to accomplish more? Yeah, I suppose like everyone else, you want to do something, you want to contribute. But I'm okay being me. I am, and I'm very aware of my faults. If I told you all my faults, it would be podcast for the rest of the year. Or as the scripture says, the world would not be able to contain all of my faults.

I'm aware of my faults. I'm aware of my shortcomings and I'm aware of the vices that I have to struggle with, but I'm okay being me and where I'm at with my walk with the Lord right now because I know that he's working with me and I am moving forward to become more like him and that I don't have this compulsion in my life to become like other people or want what other people have. I actually like the simple life. I like simplicity. I like my my family in a simple home. And I love making Jesus really the focus of my entire life. I'm all right. I'm all right being me. So how do we compare ourselves with other people? Well, you know,

you know the drill. There's all kinds of ways. We do compare ourselves, number one, I guess, with other Christians, don't we? You know, how am I doing? What do you perceive to be holy? Who's holy? Who's holy and who's not holy? And how are you? And who are you comparing yourself? too. Now, I think that there's room for that, particularly when it comes to the saints, right? You know, how am I doing compared to St. Augustine? Well, let's move on. How do I, how am I doing, you know, in comparison to some of the great, the great people in the past? Well, I don't have to compare my life to them in terms of a contest or who's better or is smarter or anything like that. But in terms of holiness and becoming like Jesus, I think that it is a good thing.

to look at our lives as they kind of match up with the lives of the saints in the sense of learning from them and emulating the great characteristics of the saints. What do we see other people doing? We compare ourselves to them. Now, this can take a dive to the south too when you start to really get on yourself because you don't think you're doing enough. You're comparing yourself with other Christians and you don't seem to be doing enough and you don't seem to be holy enough, that's where it can start to turn into more of a noxious practice and not very helpful. Well, we know for certain that people compare themselves and how they're doing in life with the world, the world. And if they compare themselves with the world, they wouldn't be able

to say, I'm okay being me. They would always want to become somebody else, have something, experience something or live somewhere if they start comparing themselves with the world. You can compare your lifestyle. You can compare what you own with the world and get some kind of, you know, beat on, here's who I am and, you know, that type of thing. Your physical size. You can compare your body to the world or your education to the world. The question is, is that really?

What you are called to do is to get a bead on your life by comparing yourself to the world? No, it's not. And so we need to make changes, you know, in that area. If we're on social media and we're on television watching and playing around on the internet and we're trying to figure out, you know, what is the lifestyle? What is, you know, what is the perfect life out there? I want to be like that. So we compare ourselves with the world.

Believe it or not, and this sounds morbid and it's not meant. to be morbid at all. But do you know that people compare themselves to mass murderers? You say, oh, get off it, Jeff. No, I'm serious. If you ask people, how are you doing? How are you doing? You know, are you okay being you? And they'll say, well, I'm not a mass murderer, you know. And so they compare themselves with the worst thing out there. You know, I didn't rob a bank. You know, I'm not a mass murderer. I didn't kill anybody. I didn't avoid taxes or anything. anything like that. So we compare ourselves with some of the worst things out in the world to see how we are. And then the verdict is, I ain't doing so bad, you know. But is that really a fair

assessment of who you are by comparing yourself with, with a mass murder? No, that's not what you've been called to compare yourself with. Or another trap that people get into is they compare themselves with family members, your place in the family. The pecking order, are you mom and dad's favorite? What about the will? I wonder what the will says. What do I get in the will? What does my sister get? What does my brother get? My place in life? We compare ourselves with our siblings so often to figure out who we are, but it's not a proper or a correct conclusion as to who you are by simply comparing yourself to people that grew up in the same household as you. We compare ourselves to our children. We compare ourselves by where we live, you know, with family members. My children

are doing this. We have this house. We just bought a car, whatever it might be, or your health. We compare ourselves to family members. And you know about social media. I don't even have to go there, you know. And just recently, I guess Facebook and Instagram, the stories have been coming out in the news that young girls, something like 17% have attributed them feeling terrible about their bodies due to Instagram and Snapchat and Facebook. Of course, they're denying it, but I can't argue with the results and the facts. That's what young girls are saying is that this has been awful for them, the comparison game. We compare ourselves by what other expectations, the expectations of other people about us,

our parents, our teacher, our employer, things they said, things they did, things they didn't do. All these comparisons I'm using are like shifting sand and you really never know who you are and they're not dependable. Let me ask you again, are you okay being you? I hope so. I hope you're okay being you because you are, as I said, a couple of weeks ago, unrepeatable. You are very special in God's eyes. There is nobody like you. Are you okay being you? The only true comparison, to be honest with you, is Jesus. What else really matters? Seriously, what else really matters? Does it matter that you're known by famous people? It really doesn't matter. What matters is you are known by Christ. The calling of a disciple was a huge

thing in Jesus' day. You know, when a rabbi would call a disciple to follow him with the formulaic phrase, Lech O'Harae, come follow me, that was a big deal because it meant that the rabbi was choosing you. The rabbi was saying, I choose you, I want you to be with me, I want you to become like me. And that's what Jesus did with you, and he did it with me. You remember when he said, he said, listen, you didn't choose me. I chose you, all right? And that's the start of this comparing ourselves, is that you didn't choose Jesus. He chose you, and he chose you to become like him.

And so that becomes the most important comparison in the world. What would Jesus do? How do I live my life? Am I emulating God? Am I imitating Christ as it says in Ephesians 5-1? Am I imitating Christ? We revert to the way the world compares when we lose sight of Jesus. I know that to be true.

It's really, really true. I love to hear from you, actually, on that. If you can put a little comment in the show comments, do you think that that's true, that we revert to the way the world compares with one another, when we lose sight of Jesus, I think sometimes we even do it when we don't lose sight of Jesus, but certainly if we lose sight of Jesus, we've got to have something to compare our lives to and how we're doing. But the truth of the matter is, is this. We should pursue

the praise of God rather than man. Now, when I come back from the break, I have some very, very juicy, good scripture verses that talk about really what we should be thinking about and will help you if you have been struggling with this recently of who you are. Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you like yourself? And are you okay with what God is working on? The project of your life, he's working on you right now. Are you okay with this? I'm not saying are you comfortable, but are you okay? Or is there something outside of God? that is incomplete and you're trying to go after you're listening to the jeff caven show if you enjoyed the rejoice advent resources in the past advents you know firsthand how god can

use the season of advent to foster a personal encounter with him so that you are ready for the person of jesus christ at christmas my name is father mark tupes author of the rejoice adjutant meditation series and I'm excited about this year as we invite you on a pilgrimage as we learn more about the places, people, and events of the very first Advent. I am humbled with all of you who have celebrated with me the gift of Advent. Over a hundred thousand people have been a part of the rejoice resource in the past. It's been a humble privilege for me to walk with you and I'm excited about this year's pilgrimage as we learn more about those places, people,

and events of the very first Advent. To learn more and to go in the pilgrimage with us, go to Rejoiceprogram.com. And until we see it in this Advent journey, God bless you. We are talking about the topic. Are you okay with yourself? And if you were to ask me that question, the answer is yes.

I'm okay being me. I am. Have you always been okay being you, Jeff? No. No, I haven't. No, I haven't. You know, I remember back in school growing up, looking at all of the kids in junior high, and I started to have acne in junior high, and I hated it, to be honest with you. I hated it. And I used to look at the boys and the girls with just beautiful skin. And, oh, that drove me nuts. I think, man, I wish I could be like them. Felt like a loser, you know. Wet my bed. tell us in eighth grade. I've talked about that enough. But no, I have not always been okay with myself, but honestly, truly, I am. I'm okay with being me in what God is doing in my life.

Not always comfortable, but I'm okay being me in what Jesus is doing. So let's take a look at some of these verses in the Bible that will help us stay on track that really the true comparison is between us in Christ and looking at the saints to try to grow and emulate their gifts and their charisms, but we don't really have any business going back to the world or other people or mass murderers to prop ourselves up or family members or social media. The real comparison is with Jesus, and that's why I love these verses. I'll put these in the show notes for you. Okay, so let's look at a few of these.

Number one, Galatians 110, Paul says to the Galatians, for am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Now there's some gold in them there hills there, and that might end up in your insight journal right there. Get that in your insight journal. Listen to what he said there. He said, he says he's asking himself the question, in all of his busyness and all the work he had to do with making and selling tents and traveling and getting stoned and everything else with rocks. that is. He says, am I now seeking the approval of man? Is that what this is about? Do I need your approval? Is that what I'm working for? Or is it God? Am I trying to please man? And then he concludes

and he says, if I were trying, if I, if I were still trying to please man, if I like that, he says, if I were still, maybe there was a time he was. If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Now there's a juxtaposition there. Isn't that interesting? He says, if I were still trying to please man, I wouldn't be a servant of Christ, but I'm a servant of Christ. So guess who I'm trying to please? It's Christ, not man. I fear no man. That's what he's saying. What a great place to be. Am I there? I should take a little quiz for myself, shouldn't I? Am I there? Okay, I'm about 87% there. I don't know what this figure is, but I like this. I like a little 1-10. Number two is First Thessalonians, and it's First Thessalonians 2-4. And it says,

But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. It's kind of similar in some ways, isn't it, to Galatians 110. I like that. I like this a lot, where he says, just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak. Now, you've been entrusted with the gospel, and so have I. And what does that mean? It means that Jesus has entrusted us with the good news, that God loves people, and he has a plan for their life, and sin has gotten in the way, but Christ has died,

and he wants a radical reorientation of their life to him. He's entrusted us with the message, the gospel. And so we speak that way. and we share the gospel not to please man but to please god ah but if we are so afraid to share the gospel with people could it be might it just be is there the slightest chance or the smallest percentage that we won't share the gospel with others because we want to please man. Let's move on. The third one is Proverbs 2925.

I like this one. The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. You okay with yourself? Really? You all right with yourself? Are you okay being you? That's what we're talking about today.

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. So if you're all about, you know, comparing yourself to everybody else, a family and people at work and social media and so forth, guess what, you're in a snare, you're in a trap, you're ineffective, you will not be fruitful, you've got to turn that around, right? You've got to turn it around and trust in the Lord. If you do that, you're going to be safe.

Number four, John chapter 12 versus 42 and 43. You know what, all these could end up in my Insight Journal. And I hear these, you know, I was talking about the Insight Journal earlier. When you hear these, sometimes the idea would come up, oh, I want to give that to my son. Well, that's where you put it in the Insight Journal. This is how it happens in real time. You can go back and play it again in slow motion. This is how it happens.

Okay, John 12, 42, and 43, nevertheless, many, even of the authorities believed in him. But for fear of the Pharisees, they did not confess it. lest they should be put out of the synagogue. For they, get this, for they love the praise of men more than the praise of God. That says it, doesn't it? You know, if you have such a fear of people and you're afraid that you're going to be put out, you're going to be canceled, then you have a fear of men. you want the praise of men rather than the praise of God.

I do not fear being canceled because man can't cancel me. There's only one. And Jesus said, be afraid of that one, you know. But there's only one that can cause this type of damage to my life. And that's the enemy. And Jesus has won that battle. And I choose to walk in the fear of the Lord rather than the fear of man. All right, the next one. Number five, Galatians 2.20, it's one of my life verses. It's in the back of my

insight journal under life verses, I have been crucified with Christ. It's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the son of God, who love me and gave himself for me. Isn't that great? I love that. So if you go back to what we are saying at the beginning, do I compare myself with the world, lifestyles, what I own, physical size, education? Do I compare myself to Charles Manson? I'm doing pretty good. You don't need to do that. Why? I know who I am. I'm crucified with Christ. It's no longer I that live, but it's Christ who lives in me. In the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. That is my life verse. You are welcome to borrow

it. You can put it in your insight journal as well, because that one verse has kept me in check all these years as far as trying to get the praises of men. The next one is number six, John 544. Again, these will all be in the show notes. Keep your hand on the steering wheel. How can you believe? how can you believe when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? Oh boy, have I seen this one over and over? I got to remind you, I was a pastor for 12 years before I came back to the Catholic Church. And I've seen this played out in spades. This isn't Protestant or Catholic. I'm not talking about that. This is human nature. How can you believe when you receive glory from one another, and that's what you're going after, is the

glory from one another, and do not seek the glory of God that comes from the only God. Put that in your spiritual pipe and smoke it. Okay, so number seven, 2 Corinthians 5'9, so whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. That is so good. I want to compare yourself. Compare yourself with Jesus. Aim high. Aim to please him. Don't aim low. Don't aim to please men. Now, don't get me wrong in case you're thinking right now, boy, he just has no regard for anybody, but Jesus, does he? That's not true, for the most part. That's not true. I do have high regard for people, and there are people in my life that I would rather please than not please, and I have great respect for them. But I don't have fear. who it is. We fear the Lord. We do not fear men. We want to honor one another and do good work, obviously, and we are human, and we want to be known as people who do good work. But you've got to know where to stop that and where the praise of men stops and the praise of God picks up and

becomes the main thing in our life. I like that one. That was number seven, 2 Corinthians 5.9. Number eight, 1 Samuel 16, 7, but the Lord said to Samuel, do not look on his appearance, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees, not as a man sees, man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. If you are going to look at anybody else, look at the heart. You know, look at the saints and their heart. There's a good thing to compare yourself with.

Of course, this 1st Samuel 16 was about David and his older brother. Ephesion 6.6 is the next one. That's number nine, not by the way of eye service, as people pleasers, but as servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart. That's a good one. I like that. Not by the way of I service, as people pleasers, but as servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart, again, I'll ask you, are you okay being you? You all right? Good. Now, number 10, John 21 versus 20 and 22. This is the last one. Peter turned and saw and saw following them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, John, who had laid

close to his breast at the supper. And it said, Lord, who is it that is going to betray you? Peter saw him. He said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man, John? What about this man? And Jesus said to him, if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? follow me talk about comparing yourself with others right in front of Jesus bad enough to do it when he's not looking as if

but he's right there and you're comparing yourself what about him what about him and Jesus is what's that to you close the trap follow me that's basically what he's saying what's that to you you follow me and that's what this whole show has been about

huh is you follow me and i imagine jesus could have looked right over at peter and said peter let me ask you a question i heard this from jeff a while ago are you okay being you you all right peter yes how come come you're okay because i'm with you of course and that is the right answer by the way that'll get you to the bonus round heaven all right so that's what i wanted to share with you this week in the midst of all the craziness in the world today are you okay being you let's not compare ourselves to everybody else, shall we? Let's really go to the plum line, and that's Jesus, and let's walk with him as disciples, let's read his word, let's pray, let's try to become like him, and understand that conversion is not about being better, but conversion is about becoming

like a person, the Lord Jesus Christ. Let me pray for you. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord, I love you today, and Jesus, may we pursue you with everything we have and see you as the center of our life, and that you are the one that really gives life life. Oh, Lord, help us in our unbelief and help us not to compare ourselves with so many strange things, but to compare ourselves with you. For you are the true plum line in the universe. You are in us. Thank you.

In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. My friend, work on your Insight Journal. I look forward to seeing you next week. I love you and ask you to pray for me, and I'll continue. to pray for you.