The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Crying Is Theological

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

Is crying a good thing? In this episode, Jeff explains the different types of tears and how crying can be very good for us. He shares what Scripture, saints, and popes have taught us about tears. Snippet from the Show Tears are a gift. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

Welcome to the Jeff Kaven Show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 283. Crying is theological. Thanks again for joining me as we talk about all things discipleship, Bible, and walking with you. with the Lord. So what are we going to talk about this week? That's right. We're going to talk about crying. Crying out loud, it's time, right? For crying out loud. That's one of the most common phrases we hear. In fact, I should have looked that up before joining you today just to look out, you know, look to see what is the beginning of that whole phrase for crying out loud. Well, we're going to talk about how crying is theological, actually. And when was the last time you had a good

cry. That is another popular phrase, isn't it, in our culture? When was the last time you had a good cry? And it said with the idea that it's therapeutic, it's good for you, it's a release, it's healing, it's positive. When was the last time you had a good cry? I remember someone saying to me one time, I just wish I could have a good cry because there was something about crying that they knew was healing and it was going to bring some kind of of relief. So we're going to talk about crying is theological. And I've just got some things to share about this with you. And for no other reason today, maybe you do need a good cry. Men, maybe you need permission to cry. Because as we all know, men don't cry, which is a bunch

of hooey. That's Greek for baloney. But men can cry. So we're going to talk about that a little bit. Before we move on, I want you to know coming up in June of 2023, Father Mike Schmitz and I will be leading a monster pilgrimage to the Holy Land in June of 2023. You're invited, and you can go to my website, jeffcavens.com, keep on top of the date. And the moment that we open it up for registration, it's going to be any time now, because when we do, I'm telling you, It's going to go quick. I know, because every time we've done these in the past, they go very, very quick.

They really do. And hi to all of you, a good morning, good afternoon, good evening, to all of you who have been joining me every morning with the Hallow app when I do a reflection every single morning with Jonathan Rumi, who is Jesus. I get to do it with that with Jesus. I get to have a reflection with Jesus every morning. Jonathan Rumi from the chosen. and if you want three months free, simply go to hello.com forward slash Jeff Kavens. And they'll give you three months free, just like that.

It's kind of easy. All right. So, my friend, most of the time we associate tears with great grief or inner pain. Think with me for a moment. Do you remember a time in your life where, if I ask you the question, what were the three biggest cries you had in your life? do you remember what those would be? I bet you do.

I bet you you you could tell me what those are. Maybe it was at a funeral or maybe it was a breakup and a relationship or the loss of a loved one. You had a gusher, a gusher, a real time of pain and crying. You might even remember a time where you cried because you were having so much fun. It was just so, it was so wonderful. you know or maybe maybe you laughed at a joke to the point where you were crying you were laughing so hard at night when i go down and lay down for bed you know after an hour of laying there and i

can't sleep if i start to think about something that was incredibly funny i start laughing and i mean the bed shakes i start belly laughing and emily will wake up and go literally she'll say oh no oh no because she knows i'm going to stay on that jag for about a half an hour and i'll have tears rolling down my cheeks because i'm laughing so hard well you can see that there's all kinds of different uh different reasons for tears and for crying we cry from grief we cry from victory we cry from happiness we cry from uh humor all kinds of reasons but you know what the world says don't cry. It shows weakness. Yet, as we're going to see today in Scripture, the strongest people cry out to God. And in Scripture, God cries. We'll look at that too. I was thinking about

some of the great songs because, as you know, most songs in the world will talk about love, and love speaks of grief and happiness and everything else. And tears are not far from the topic in songs. And so you've got all kinds of songs that talk about crying like Frankie Valley in the four seasons, big girls don't cry. Remember that? You know, I'm not going to sing it. Big girls don't cry, because you'll cry if I do. But then Sia comes back here and says big girls cry in her song. Eric Clapton brings tears to heaven when he says, there's tears in heaven when he sings about the loss of his son. Mariah Carey, keeping up in heaven here for a moment, says angels cry. And Justin Timberlake talks about crying in kind of a facetious way when he broke

up with Britney Spears. He says, cry me a river. A song he put out. Chris Thompson, big hit. Sometimes I cry. And that's a burly guy. That's a man's man. He says, sometimes I cry in his song. Tim McGraw, another big

country guy, talks about men who do cry in a song called Grown Men Don't Cry. And Taylor Swift, well, she's got teardrops on her guitar. Big song, tear drops on my guitar. And then from the home state of Minnesota, just down the road here, actually a little bit further because I'm deep in the woods today,

when Doves Cry by Prince's, as he expresses the pain he felt when he watched his parents fight. In fact, I have a podcast on that from years ago, years ago when I talk about Doves crying with Prince. And I went through the lyrics on that old one. You might want to look that up. Well, the younger a person is, this is one thing I've noticed. The younger a person is, the more they seem to cry. and I think it, you know, crying communicates a felt need. And this actually carries on into teen years and adult years, but society often doesn't recognize it.

And it's not considered something that is just so virtuous in men. You know, other men don't see men cry and say, oh, man, I wish I was like that. They have this machismo, you know, this thing of men don't cry. but it certainly is a signal to everyone around that someone's a hurt and someone is dealing with pain in some way. Typically, as I said earlier, it could be, you know, joy, happiness, and laughter. But most of the time, I think we associate tears with difficulties and pain. The tears have a whole physiology all their own. Scientifically, tears are divided into three types of tears. And I mentioned to you, the name of the show, crying is theological, that there is a theological bent to all three of these divisions. The science has put tears into these divisions. Number one is based on tears for grief. Tears for grief and joy.

They put them both in the same category, and they're called psychic tears. Now, that sounds like kind of a cool rock band, doesn't it? Or a Christian rock band, psychic tears. Both tears, I'm going to find out in a year from now, one of you, was putting together a group. I know it. All I ask is 10% on all royalties. Both tears of grief and joy are psychic tears are triggered by extreme emotions of grief and joy. And you can remember the times where you cried for joy and cried for grief. And that's whether positive or negative I kind of talked about that. It could be positive emotion. It could be a negative emotion.

The second one is basal tears, and they're released continuously, 24-7, in tiny little quantities. How tiny? On an average of 0.75 to 1.1 grams over a 24-hour period. That's not that much, really, when you think about it, is it? But nevertheless, it's 24-7. Tears never grow tired. Oh, there's another song I could write. That's another great title.

But tears never run out. Oh, another one. right you know what anything to do with crying and tears can be a song i think but why do you cry continually why do you tears released continually well that's to keep the cornea lubricated and uh i got to tell you when i was younger i struggled with what was called dry eye syndrome if you have that you know what i'm talking about that is man that's painful and i would get up in the morning and i would rub my eyes and my eyes were dry because of all night long, you know, sleeping. And then I'd rub them the first thing and I get a scratch on my cornea. And that's not fun. Those are, you know,

those are tears that are very healthy, these basal tears. You need them. You need them. That'd be another cool song. You need tears. And then the third is reflex tears. And those are secreted in response to irritants. So your body has a way of responding to irritants like dust, or have you cut an onion lately, or smoke, or if you've had a run in with the law, then you know what tear gas is all about all too well. So those are the three categories. Again, you've got the tears of grief.

They're these psychic tears. That's grief and joy. Then you've got the basal tears. That's the 24-7. And then you've got reflex tears. And those are because of some kind of irritant. Speaking of basal tears, they make these drops now, synthetic drops. And I find that sort of fascinating.

What God created us to do, the tear ducts, is some people have dry eye syndrome. So what they do is they put a plug in their tear duct. I'm not kidding. Look it up. They put a plug in their tear duct. And that causes the tears to well up in the eye easier than just going with dry eye syndrome. But isn't that interesting? We've got people who are creating what God created there.

All right. So there's also a healing property of tears. That's physiologically, psychologically, and spiritual. Now, when you turn to the Bible, because I told you that crying and tears are the theological. There is a lot the Bible says about tears and about crying. The one that I think is kind of the overarching one is Ecclesiastes chapter 3 and verse 4. I'll put it in the show notes for you because you don't want to be writing this stuff down in the car. You'll get into an accident and you'll start crying. So I'm going to put these in the show notes for you. It says in Ecclesiastes

3, 4, there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. And, of course, it goes on and mentions a time for a lot of different things. But I find it interesting that it mentions there is a time to weep. There is. So there is a time for tears. And that could be a reflex. That could be the basal tears 24-7 or that could be psychic tears because of grief or joy.

But there certainly is a time to cry, a time to weep, a time for tears. And I personally don't think that's something that we need to be ashamed of, you know. That's being real. That's being real. Now, in the Bible, I'm going to go through a few of these instances from the Bible, and I've got a couple of quotes from some really, really great men of God writing about St. Catherine of Siena, about tears. I'll be back in just a moment. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show. Okay. So I'm going to come talk to you about morality. Oh, there's a real conversation starter. Oh, I was just an ex-munk. Oh, he can relate to me. So in my work, I'm a professor and I'm a translator. I take ideas, I digest them, I communicate them. I've read the text, thousands of pages of Thomas Aquinas, texts in other languages.

That's my job to digest. And I just wanted to go into the treasure trove, pull out the things that I had discovered. Cut them out from all the scholarly stuff, don't get caught up in all of the, you know, details, right? The people of God deserve to have this kind of content. The truths of Catholic morality are meant to transform your life. And so I wrote this book precisely to show that these truths are not just truths that we memorize, but they're truth that we live. So to find out more about this universal call to holiness that is the vocation of all Christians,

check out my new book, Made by God, made for God, at ascensionpress.com slash Catholic morality. Okay, we're talking about crying, and it's theological, and it is. It's in the Bible, and it talks about a lot of instances of crying, and perhaps the most important one is when we're going to get to in just a moment, and that is when God cries. Prince talks about when doves cry, but I'd rather talk about when God cries. Okay, so there are a number of scriptures. I mentioned Ecclesiastes 3, 4, a time to weep, a time to laugh. But then in the Psalms, the Psalms are, filled with weeping and crying. And I think that that is because, as you know, when you have needs in your life or you are experiencing trauma or loss in your life, the natural expression of the grief or the joy is crying. And it has been shown physiologically that crying is a healing thing. It releases toxins from your body. You can release toxins through the sweat glands, through your breath and through tears. And so if you feel like you're going to cry,

there's something to release that pain and that agony. I'll never forget, you know, just kind of going back into the archives here, I'll never forget the funeral of my mother-in-law. Oh, man. As people were giving a eulogy, it was a Methodist funeral, as people were giving a eulogy of men,

memories, I had to spend every bit of my energy biting my tongue to keep myself from absolutely exploding in tears. I had to do it later. I've seen movies like that too, Shadowland about C.S. Lewis and other movies, you know, about Holocaust survivors and so forth. So here's what it says in Psalm 30 and verse 5 for his. anger is but for a moment and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping made Terry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. That's a beautiful one. Psalm 3415, the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears towards their cry. The eyes of the Lord are towards the righteous. And that says in Psalm 56, 8, thou has kept count of my tossings. A lot of times these Psalms are

written about not being able to sleep at night. David must have had some real difficult nights. In Psalm 5680, he says, thou hast kept count of my tossings. Put thou my tears in thy bottle. Are they not in thy book? Now, that's an interesting thought as I'm thinking about this with you right now. God has kept count of my tossings. I wonder how many tossings I've had in my life. And have you ever thought of that? How many tossings have you had in your life? Thou has put my tears in thy bottle. And then Revelation 214, I really like this one

because it talks about when it's all said and done and it's all over with and we're with the Lord in heaven. There'll be no more tears. It says in Revelation 214, I'll put it in the notes. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. No, I like that, but I'm wondering about the whole thing of crying for joy.

Maybe there'll be some kind of other crying for joy and happiness in heaven. But apparently there's not going to be any crying for pain anymore. in heaven, which I'm all for, by the way. Now here is the one that, okay, I'll say this one's my absolute favorite. And it is the shortest sentence in scripture, the shortest sentence in scripture. It starts in John chapter 11, and the first part of it is in verse 33, and this is talking about weeping. It says, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who, came with her also weeping. He was deeply moved in spirit. This is when Lazarus died. And he was very troubled. And he said, where have you laid him? And they said to him, Lord, come and see. And Jesus witnessed

this weeping and this mourning over Lazarus. And it affected Jesus. In verse 35, the shortest verse in the Bible it says Jesus wept. Isn't that powerful? Jesus wept. We can accurately say theologically, God wept. God wept. And guess what? You are created in the image and likeness of God. Do not be ashamed of crying, weeping. If you feel like you're going to weep or cry, there's a reason for it. There's a reason for it. There's a reason for it. Granted, you might not want to do it in the board meeting. Well, get out of there and go use the bathroom. But there's a reason for it if you sense that you want to cry or weep.

Now, in the Bible, there were a lot of different stories where people had very good reasons for weeping. Just in the last couple of weeks, I have met with two couples who are struggling with infertility. And talking about crying with one another over infertility, which, is no stranger to Emily and myself. I think I've told you before, my friend, that Emily and I went through some real hard times in the first seven years we were married. We couldn't get pregnant. And all of our friends, they were looking at each other and getting pregnant. And we couldn't get pregnant. And one night, one day we thought Emily might be pregnant. She went and got one of those early pregnancy tests. And she took it. And it said she was pregnant. And we were so

unbelievably happy there were tears called her parents and everything she went into the doctor the next day to verify it and uh the doctor called me i was at home later that day and said i'm sorry to inform you you're not pregnant and i dropped to my knees i'll be honest with you getting choked up talking about it and i just start crying dropped the phone i just start crying with grief well the woman in the bible that cried because she couldn't have a child was Hannah in 1 Samuel 1.10. Hannah was weeping for a child. Listen to the description here. She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly. Wow. In Luke 738, a woman of the city, a sinner.

It talks about her. It says, and standing behind Jesus at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet. with her tears. Now, in this case, tears become a form of praise and worship. And she wiped his feet with her hair and her tears and kissed his feet and anointed them with ointment. That's a regular praise and worship service right there. And it was all around tears. All around tears. That is so beautiful. Another one in John 20, but Mary stood weeping outside the tomb. That's Mary Magdalene. She was outside the tomb and she was weeping. And as she wept to look into the tomb. And of course, the angel said, why are you weeping? And then later in that story, Jesus said, why are you weeping? She was weeping because she lost her beloved. You imagine when Jesus finally

said to her, is I, Mary. She must have been weeping for joy at that point. Now, I love this quote from Pope Benedict about Catherine of Siena. Listen to this. This is a school right here in what he has to say. This is so beautiful. He said, another trait of Catherine's spirituality is linked to the gift of tears. They express an exquisite, profound sensitivity, a capacity for being moved and for tenderness. That is so cool.

Many saints have had the gift of tears, renewing the emotion of Jesus himself who did not hold back or hide his tears at the tomb of his friend Lazarus and at the grief of Mary and Martha at the site of Jerusalem during his last days on earth. Get a load of that sentence. Wasn't that good? He says, many saints have had the gift of tears. I'm sitting here thinking I could have called this. this show so many things, but many saints have had the gift of tears renewing the emotion of Jesus himself. Listen, if you're mourning for someone, if you're crying because of something that happened

at a school, a massacre, shootings, and all these different things that happen in the news, I guess we could say that you're renewing the emotions of Jesus. Wow, what a title. You should have called it that. That is so beautiful right there. Remember Christ crucified, God and man. Make your aim, he says, this is Pope Benedict. Make your aim the crucified Christ.

Hide in the wounds of the crucified Christ and drown in the blood of the crucified Christ. That is so neat. Somebody sent me that quote, and I've kept that all these years. Another one, to Pope Francis, the gift of tears, is similarly an experience of God's grace, an overwhelming experience of being cared for, and loved by the one who has created us and called us to himself. He's quoting a theologian there, author Tim Muldoon, and he goes on there. There's so many good quotes, isn't there, about tears and crying? So let me kind of bring this to a close. I just wanted to share this with you this week, and maybe the timing is perfect in

your life. Maybe you are, maybe you are facing something really, really bad, a lot of grief. And you're crying. I want, I just wanted to give your tears some meaning. Maybe you are renewing the emotions of Jesus. Maybe you are. Maybe it's over a lost one. And you're renewing the emotions of Jesus. Jesus cried when they are all crying because Lazarus died. Be a part of renewing the emotion of Jesus. I'm going to call the show that. It's called crying is theological slash renewing the emotion of Jesus. And so consider crying a gift.

It's a gift. Pope Francis said, the gift of tears. And whatever you're going through this week, there's no problem in expressing tears. This is healing. This is good. this is the way you were created and that's okay i want to pray for you right now i don't know exactly what you're going through but i sense you're going through something and i want you to know i'm here as your brother to pray for you join me in the name of the father and the son and the holy

spirit jesus i lift up my loved loved one here my friend who may be going through something very very difficult this week lord the temptation to cry is something that we can give into And Lord, you created us this way to release the toxins, the pain, to release the joy we may be experiencing in our life. I pray that whether people are going through tears of emotion, extreme emotion, psychic tears, or whether people are going through some kind of loss, I pray that the tears will be a reminder that they are related to you. and they are renewing your emotion. Jesus, we love you and we praise you and give you thanks today. Thank you for moving in the life of my friend. Do, Lord, in their life, the impossible.

Thank you for moving mountains. Thank you, Lord, for making a way where there is no way. In Jesus' name, amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Again, if you want some of those scriptures, and you don't have the show notes, you can write my name down one name, Jeff Kaven's all one word and text it to the number 33777.7 will get you on board and get you all those notes. God bless you, my friend, and for crying out loud, have a good week.