The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Do You Have a Plan for Living (Part 3)

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

Does the internet dictate your life? Jeff concludes his conversation about having a plan for living by focusing on the impact of the internet and social media on living a purpose-driven life. Jeff discusses how digital distractions like email, social media, and instant gratification can interfere with God's abundant plan for your life. Please consider supporting this podcast and Ascension’s free media by visiting ascensionpress.com/support. Snippet from the Show  The internet can keep us from living the life that God has for us. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit https://media.ascensionpress.com/?s=&page=2&category%5B0%5D=Ascension%20Podcasts&category%5B1%5D=The%20Jeff%20Cavins%20Show for full shownotes!

Welcome to the Jeff Kaven Show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 425. Do you have a plan for living? Part 3. Welcome back to the show in what has become an extended show, starting with, one showed you have a plan for living part one and then suddenly figured out we're going to go to part two and now we're going to part three but i wanted to go to part three because there were some things about developing a plan for living that we have to overcome and i want to focus on the internet today and i want to focus on some things that we really have to make some decisions about if we're going to have a plan for living if we really are going to walk with purpose in our life rather than letting life hit us right in the face. By the way, if you do want show notes every week, make this opportunity available to you. It's absolutely free. We'll put you on the list.

We'll give you the show notes for every single show. We are rich in scripture, rich in the catechism and wonderful quotes, so it's worth it. All you have to do is text my name, Jeff Kavens, and text it to the number 3.3.7. 3-377-7-7 will get you on board. So I have been thinking long and hard about this series, and I am quite sure that this is the final one of the three because we have so many more things we need to talk about and I would like to talk about.

But as I was thinking about the conclusion of last week's show, I had to be honest and I thought to myself, man, there's more I want to share about this. So I'm going to lay it on you right here. And hopefully it will play a role in developing a plan for your life and getting over the hurdles that keep us from really living that purpose-driven life, right? Like after that wonderful book that came out. So let's talk about this. Now, one of the quotes that I read in the first episode and the second episode, I want to

start with, again, that quote by Samuel Johnson, because I think it's so powerful what he has to say. And basically, he's saying that it is the search for a thing that is more exciting than obtaining the thing and the fear of something happening is greater than what actually does happen in our life. He says this, it is generally allowed that no man ever found the happiness of possession proportionate to that expectation which incited his desire and invigorated his pursuit, nor has any man found the evils of life so formidable in reality as they were described to him by his own imagination. Every species of distress brings with it some peculiar supports,

some unforeseen means of resisting, or powers of enduring. I love that quote. I'll put in the show notes for you. Now, there's a couple things that I do want to wrap this series up with, and one is I want to take a look at the Internet and the draw of the Internet and the enthusiasm around being a part of social media and making the mistake that social media is a real relationship. Now, I know people are going to say, well, it is in some cases for me, but most would say

that it really is a waste of their time. And a lot of the people that they are, quote, unquote, writing to or posting to, they don't even know, but they are very concerned with the number of likes that they might have. Now, one of the part of the Internet that I want to isolate here is email, and email has grown out of proportion in that so much of the communication today is by email. Now, the intrinsic problem with email is that it's very, very accessible. It is very easy to write an email to someone, and oftentimes we say things we wouldn't say in person. we lay down expectations of the other person that we would never do in person, and we promise things that we would never promise in person, things that we are going to do. And so one of the things I have run into in my own life is that because I have an email out there, it is easy for somebody to find it after listening to the show or listening to my daily on Hallow.

and writing a simple email, dear Jeff, I have not read your book or listen to your story, but I heard it's interesting, could you tell it to me? Now, I'm being facetious there, but you know what I mean, where people will, they'll ask pretty deep theological questions, maybe three or four of them that really take some time to write out and communicate. And in my life, I can't treat email as that communication tool with everybody that is in my life. I have to decide on what is important. Or what Paul said to the Ephesians, he said, make the most of every opportunity, make the most of your time.

And how do we make the most of our time? We know the will of God. And I know that it's not the will of God that I am on my keyboard all day long answering everyone's questions. So I have to make some kind of statement that is that while I love everybody and I appreciate everybody. I don't have the time to answer everybody's questions, but I can try to answer some on this show. And so I have to figure out how am I going to use email so that I can get on with the plan for living in my life? Because email certainly is not the center of the plan for living

in my life. And I would guess that you would probably say the same thing, that it's not the center of your life. Certainly, this has changed over the last 20 years to where the email used to be even more prominent, I think, but now messaging, text messages and commenting on other people's posts is now a newer form of communication, but it can become addictive, it can overtake your life, certainly your time, and many times your emotions and the energy that you have. So let's take a little bit of a test here. Now, number one, do you wake up in the morning and bring your laptop into bed with you? Now, we're talking here about are you addicted to the internet? Does it get in the way of living the life that God has for

you? As a son, as a daughter, do you wake up in the morning and bring your laptop into bed with you or check it before you brush your teeth at night? One more look. You know, what I have discovered is that one of the things that gets in the way of me living the life that I believe God has for me as a married man and a father and a grandfather is getting sidetracked with information first thing in the morning or the last thing before going to bed that really throws me off track. Somebody might write something mean or they might say something that is troubling, whether it be the first thing I see in the morning or the last thing I see at night. If it is the first thing in the morning, trust me, and you probably know too that I'm probably

going to be thinking about it the rest of the day just like at night before i go to bed and i think i'm just going to look at email real quick here my wife says don't do it don't do it why because you'll probably be up till two in the morning wondering and thinking about why that was said or why that information was given to me and so you have to guard your time when it comes to the internet and protect the precious gift that god has given you namely your time your mission your family your marriage and find the time, the appropriate time, to look through the email when you need to. Now, some people just say, I'm only going to do it once a day or twice a day. That's up to you.

But those key positions, the poll positions of the morning and the night, those have a big impact on your life. Do you check email while you're driving, even though you're four times as likely to have an accident when you do it? Do you do it? Maybe you're addicted. maybe you're addicted to your email or you're we can now throw in text messages are you answering emails on your iPhone or Android when you walk between meetings or on your way to the parking lot or when you are taking your evening stroll

do you keep answering while you're sitting in your car in your driveway or garage when you get home and your wife walks out and says are you coming in not that that's ever happened to me but this is for you of course, I'm talking to you now. Or do you bring your laptop back into bed with you at night and make one final check of all of your accounts before you turn off the lights? You know, there was a few months ago, there was what was called the Energy Project, posted a poll on the Huffington Post, asking people about their experience in the workplace. And one of the questions was about email. out of 1,200 respondents, some 60% said that they spend less than two waking hours a day completely disconnected from email, less than 2 hours a day, 60% of 1,200 correspondents, less than 2 hours a day completely disconnected from email. That's a problem.

How are we going to be the salt and light? how are we going to have an impact on our culture if we are so tied to social media it's very similar if you want to know the truth it's very similar to what pharaoh did with the israelites in those four hundred years particularly towards the end when he gave him a workload that would not allow them to be with their family teach their children he gave them a workload that was unrealistic and they were totally all day long focused on that so 20 percent Now, this is the study here, 20% spend less than a half hour disconnected. Oh, man, email has become our intravenous feeding tube in some way.

And I would put text messaging right in there with it. It isn't overload we're battling anymore. I think it's addiction. It's addiction to the action, addiction to information and connection, so-called connection. But above all, to instant gratification. Now, when we come back from the break, I'm going to share with you this story that I shared years and years ago. I don't think I've shared this for a number of years, so it's probably going to be fresh for you. But it is a special study that studied attention span and getting things done and being free from addiction.

It was called the Walter Michel Marshmallow Experiment. And I'll give you that right after this. You're listening to The Jeff Kaven Show. I just wanted to take a minute and ask for your help. So since 2014, Ascension has been producing YouTube videos and podcasts and articles free online. In fact, every week, there are 18 different Essential Presents videos or podcasts that are offered to the world for free. And in fact, millions of people have been reached by the message of God's love. While these podcasts and while this content, these videos are free to consume, they're not necessarily free to make.

if someone you love, if you yourself have been blessed by the content that's been produced by Ascension, would you prayerfully consider supporting this ministry by going to ascensionpress.com slash support? That's ascensionpress.com slash support. And even if you're not able to support this ministry financially, we are begging that you please support this ministry spiritually. Please pray for us, pray for the entire Ascension team. And ahead of time, thank you, and God bless. Welcome back. We're talking about the Internet and how the Internet can keep us from living that life that God has for us, the plan for living that God has for us, whether we are married, single, religious priests. And the Internet has taken so much of our time these days that, frankly, I don't know how we are going to be witnesses in the world with the amount of time that we are tied to the Internet. Now, before the break, I mentioned to you this Walter Michel. marshmallow experiment, psychologist Walter Mischel, and I found it fascinating, and I want you to put yourself in the midst of this study, okay? In the late 1960s, Walter Mischel began conducting his

famous quote-unquote marshmallow experiment. Now, what did he do? Well, he placed a marshmallow in front of a succession of four-year-olds. Michel told them they were free to eat the marshmallows simply by ringing a bell after he'd left the room. So here he has these four-year-olds, and he places a marshmallow in front of each one of them with a little bell on the table. And he says, if you want to eat the marshmallow, all you got to do is ring the bell

and after he leaves the room. Okay, so he did that. He did that. However, if he said to them before he left the room, If you are able to wait, he's telling the four-year-olds, if you are willing to wait until I return, I will give you two marshmallows. Oh, they got excited about that, didn't they?

Oh, I'm going to get myself two marshmallows. You wait and see, right? Well, he left the room, and he went into the other room, which was a two-way mirror, and he watched him. He watched him. and he was taking note about their behavior, what they were doing as each one of those four-year-olds

had that marshmallow in front of them with the little bell next to it. And he watched him squirm. He watched him look around. And here's the results. 70% of the children, the four-year-olds, gave up in less than one minute. Less than one minute, they rang the bell.

Only 30% were able to wait. 15 minutes. Now, what happened was that there were a few of them, the 30% were able to wait 15 minutes, and they were the ones who were able to receive two marshmallows. It's just a small amount of them. Now, in our lives, we, and I'm going to get to the conclusion of that in just a moment, but in our lives, we're pulled to anything that provides instant gratification, free handouts at the store, food. Oh, look at that over there. You start gravitating over there.

Even when we know we'd get a bigger reward for delaying, we have a hard time doing it. We're also quick to respond to any excuse to stop working on something that is difficult and requires high concentration. Now, what Mitchell, Walter Mitchell, discovered is this. I think you're going to be interested. What he discovered is that the low delayers quickly burned down their limited reservoir of will and discipline. How? How do you think those four-year-olds

burn down their limited reservoir of will and discipline by staring directly and longingly at the marshmallow? That's how they did it. That's how they gave up. The ones that gave up were staring at the marshmallow. The high delayers, those that waited 15 minutes and got another marshmallow, guess what they did? They didn't stare at the marshmallow. They found something else entirely to focus on. They never looked at the marshmallow. That was the key. So my question is, what can we focus on that will help us focus on the plan that God has for living? It certainly isn't focusing on emails and texts and, you know, all of the comments on Instagram and so forth. How in the world? Are you going to live the life that God has for you by staring at these things and

hoping for instant gratification? Someone once observed that time was invented by God to keep everything from happening at once. Solomon, writing in Ecclesiastes, I'll put it in the show notes for you, he observed God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also said eternity in the hearts of men. Yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. You see, God has put eternity in our hearts and we need to live like that rather than focusing entirely on what is before us today that is promising instant gratification and it is draining us of our resolve and our endurance and we give in real quickly to instant gratification. So we got to come to the conclusion that we are not God. We cannot handle all relationships. We cannot handle all

text messages and emails and posts we can't handle all things and all opportunities we are finite and we must choose and that's what i want to really stress this week with you and i say this to myself as well we must make our choice we must choose what we're going to give our attention to we must demonstrate focus and exercise focus in what we spend our time with and our money in our hearts and our energy if we just stare at the low-hanging shiny thing. Oh, sure, it's shiny. And at first it's like, oh, what's that about? But you know as well as I do. It's not going to pay dividends. It isn't going to pay off. You know that. You know it. So as believers in Jesus, as followers and disciples of the Lord, let's refine our choices. So here's a few topics. I'll put these in the show

notes for you and I'll just give them to you to think about here. We need to make choices. We need to make choices about walking in forgiveness. Are we going to walk in forgiveness? Or are we going to let it just sort of slough off to the side because we're so focused on the internet. We can focus and walk in humility. Again, we must choose. Am I going to walk in humility?

Am I going to walk in wisdom? Well, listen, if you're going to walk in wisdom, you have to be at the fount of wisdom, the word of God. You have to spend a lot of time in the word of God in Baruch and, uh, and proverbs and ecclesiastes and wisdom and syrac and these are sources of wisdom in our life the church fathers how about walk in love we have to make choices we have to purposely walk in love this calls for energy and focus walk in simplicity if if we're not going to make it a point to walk in simplicity we're going to fall to everything that's on the internet and all of the attention grabbers.

Prayerfulness, moderation, holiness, eternity, walking with God. A sense of awe, which I've talked about in the past here several times. These are the things that we must choose. And if we don't have the time to choose forgiveness or humility, wisdom, love, simplicity, prayerfulness, awe, moderation, holiness, or eternity, if we don't have the time to do it, these things are going to fade away. And we're going to be caught up in eternal trivia. Trivial pursuit.

And I don't think you want that. I don't. So many people live their lives waiting. They tell themselves, if only I had a million dollars, I'd do X, fill in the blank. Do that. And people would say this, well, if I had a million dollars, this is what I would do. Well, you don't have a million dollars, but you might have a hundred. So what would you do?

Say, well, I wouldn't do that with a hundred, but I'd do it with a million. It's not true. You lay all your cards down with the million and you lay all your cards down with the hundred. You didn't do anything with a hundred. Probably not going to do that much with a million. I'm just being honest there and these results come out of empirical evidence. So happiness is like a butterfly.

The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things like the marshmallow experiment, get your eyes. off the marshmallows on the internet and get your eyes on what God has called you to do, it will satisfy you. It will bring a joy and a depth of living that you really are searching for, but it's going to take a real focus. It's going to take energy to focus on what God has for you. And that's my prayer for you this week, is that this week we will discipline ourselves

when we interact with the internet, whether it be text, whether it be email or Instagram or Amazon or just searching the web or YouTube, YouTube, are you going to discipline yourself or just let yourself go? If you just let yourself go this week, you probably are going to miss out on forgiveness, humility, wisdom, love, simplicity, prayerfulness, awe, moderation, holiness, and eternity. Don't do that. I'll join you with that little exercise this week. Let's see if we can grow this week. Let's pray. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lord Jesus, thank you for giving us a plan for living. You have a plan. You have a purpose for our lives. We know that like the Garden of Eden and the tree of the knowledge

of good and evil, which was beautiful, tasty, and made one wise, we know that we're surrounded by so much. Again, we're calling on you to help us. Help us to make the choices. We spoke about this weeks ago. And Lord, we bring this up again. Help us to really focus on what matters this week and to give our time and our energy to it. In Jesus' name, amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. I love you, my friend. God bless you. Look forward to next week and it will be a new title. Thank you.