The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Do You Play the Comparison Game?

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

Do you tend to compare yourself to other people? Jeff explores how the habit of comparing ourselves to others—especially in a world shaped by social media and expectations—can rob us of gratitude and distort our identity. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit https://media.ascensionpress.com/?s=&page=2&category%5B0%5D=Ascension%20Podcasts&category%5B1%5D=The%20Jeff%20Cavins%20Show for full shownotes!

This podcast is brought to you by Ascension. To discover even more free Catholic podcasts, videos, and resources, to help you live your faith every day, visit ascensionpress.com. Welcome to the Jeff Kaven Show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 458. Do you play the comparison game? Hello, I'm Jeff Kavens, and thank you for joining me today. Well, if you're listening to Friday, it's the day after Thanksgiving. And I hope you had a very good Thanksgiving on behalf of everyone from Ascension. Happy Thanksgiving.

Really hope you had a good one. And I want to talk to you today a little bit about Thanksgiving, but kind of a different angle today. And that angle is going to be about the problem and the game of. of comparing yourself to other people. Because I have found that when we play that game of comparing ourselves to others and their expectations and their achievements, we really miss what's right in front of us, that which we can give thanks for, that God has provided in our life and he's done in our life and who he made us.

And if we start this comparison game, wow, it seems like we always just kind of sort of end up on the short end of the stick. You know what I mean? Say, if you do want the notes today and there are some notes, you can get them absolutely free. Just text my name, Jeff Kaven's, one word, Jeff Kavens, and you can text it to 33777, quite biblical, 3377. I do pray that God will open this up for you as far as knowing who you are in relationship to Jesus rather than playing the comparison. and game and oh isn't it easy to do that these days especially with social media you know and uh and i do think and you probably saw this in the news that a lot of schools have now limited the use of cell phones in junior high and high school in fact in many of them they just

take it away during the day sure there was a lot of crying about it at first but man did it pan out for some in fact a number of young people reported saying that they like it a lot better and they like talking to people in the halls. By the way, we used to do that back in the 70s, but they enjoy it and they're meeting at malls now and talking with one another. It's like retro. This is cool.

It's social vinyl, if you will. So let's do this today. You know, when we compare ourselves with others, there's a number of groups that you can compare yourself to, right? And you can compare yourself to all these groups and you can even manipulate the system. You can compare yourself to saints and you feel like, well, I'm nothing like that. You compare yourself to mass murders.

Well, I'm nearly a saint, right? So there's all kinds of ways that you can compare yourself. You can compare yourself, for example, with other Christians. And comparing yourself to other Christians could have a positive side in that you want to grow, but it can also have a negative side, what you perceive to be holy. You can compare yourself to what you perceive to be holy. What you see others doing, you might compare yourself of the world. Or you might compare your lifestyle to somebody else.

You know, they're living in Manhattan. They have everything going for them and you're in your mother's basement. You compare yourself, you know, with others. You might compare yourself with what you own. You know, compare yourself to others regarding what you own or your size, your height, your weight, right? You can compare yourself, and oftentimes you come up with a wanting conclusion, right, especially as you get older. You might compare yourself with others as far as education or your family members or your place

in life, your children, where you live, for example. You can compare yourself. You can compare your health with other people, and that might make you envious. It might make you jealous. You don't know. And then certainly people compare themselves using social media. And man, can that be dangerous? That can be dangerous because, number one, you don't even know if it's true.

What you're comparing yourself to, you don't even know if it's true. You can also compare yourselves with others' expectations of you. Now, this is one of the things that can really bring a person down because you might believe that your parents have a certain expectation of you. And they may think, well, we want you to be a doctor. want you to buy a house, want you to get married, have two and a half kids and a white picket fence. And you're thinking, but I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. But maybe you go down that road. You've been comparing yourself with your parents' expectations, right? So that's one area where you can get lost in expectation. The other is a teacher's expectations

of you or an employer's expectations of you. And so you can spend your life just filled with thoughts about not fulfilling other people's expectations of you. Now, all these comparisons that I'm using are like shifting sand. You really never know where you are. They're not dependable, really. They're not dependable. So the question is, this day after Thanksgiving, what is dependable? What is dependable?

Are you supposed to compare yourself? Well, yes and no. know in the things that I have been mentioning because the outcomes are not very desirable. Yes, if that comparison is with Jesus. And that's where you really get to know who you are. That's really where you get to know how you're doing in life. Not social media, not where you live, not the things you own, not your education. But it comes down to Jesus.

and he has a plan of sheer goodness for you. So let's take a look at that, shall we? Let's take a look at some of those things that we could compare ourselves to at this time of Thanksgiving and between Thanksgiving and Christmas and see if we can't get a better idea of who we are and what God's expectations of us are. You're listening to The Jeff Kaven Show. Hi, my name's Father Mike Schmitz, and I'm excited to announce my latest project, a new Advent series coming out in the Ascension app called Waiting Well.

Here's the thing. The stats show that we spend up to several years of our lives waiting. Waiting in line, waiting at red light, waiting while friends and family get ready. We're just constantly waiting. And instead of embracing those times of waiting, what do we do? We worry, we get anxious, and maybe most of all, we check out, and we just get lost in scrolling on our phones. But there is a spiritual importance to waiting.

that we cannot miss. In fact, waiting is so important that God gives us entire seasons of waiting Lent and Advent as a way to help shape us and help us realize where in our lives we're still waiting to let Jesus in. In order to be truly open to God in this way, we have to learn to embrace times of waiting. Most of all, we have to acknowledge, accept, and then live out the deep truth that this moment and every moment of our lives actually matters. If this resonates with you, if you feel something stirring deep down in your soul, then join me this Advent for waiting well, exclusively in the Ascension app. You can download the free prayer plan by signing up for the waitlist in the Ascension app on your mobile device or by visiting ascensionpress.com slash Father Mike Advent.

What are you waiting for? See what I did there? God bless. Thank you for returning to me. Hey, we're talking about, do you play the comparison game? If you do, I got news for you. The odds are you're going to lose. You're going to lose. It's just the way we are. But if you play the comparison game with Jesus, there's a lot of upside. And not only that, he's pulling for you. He's praying for you. He wants you to become like him. You know, there's a word divinization to be divinized, I should say, in the Catholic Church, which means to be divinized. To be divinized is that God becomes. became man that we might become God, that we would share in his nature, divine nature.

That's what he wants. And so you can compare yourself to Jesus until the cows come home. And that's a long time if you live in the city. But you will always have help from him to become like him. And no shame for falling behind. He will be with you. So here's a few things to think about, okay, during this Thanksgiving break. Number one, the only true comparison, the only true comparison is Jesus.

And what else really matters, honestly? What really matters? Your friends, the money, where you live, the car you drive? No. What really matters is comparing yourself with Jesus. So that's something to really think about. Now, also I would add to that, the calling of a disciple and the criteria you use. If you're going to compare yourself to Jesus, then you need to look.

look at what is the call of a disciple, that we would become like him, follow him, and that we would take on his yoke, his worldview. That's the type of thing we should be comparing ourselves with. Am I walking as a called disciple? Am I walking as a called disciple? Am I becoming like him? Because that's the criteria for choosing a disciple in Jesus Day from the rabbi's perspective. Do I as a rabbi think that you can become like me? Am I? Am I becoming like me? Am I becoming like Jesus. Where do you live and the money you have and all those shallow things? But am I becoming like him? So when we revert to the way the world compares, we revert to when the way the world compares. The things I mentioned at the top of the show, we revert to that way when we lose sight

of Jesus. You lose sight of Jesus. Then it is, how many children do you have? Where do you live? What kind of car do you drive? Hey, nice suit. What about your 401K? parents' expectations, teachers' expectations, employers' expectations. Ah, but what about Jesus' expectations? So we should pursue the praise of God rather than man. Now, I love this because Paul mentions this in Galatians 1-10. That will be in the notes, and they're free. He says, for I am now seeking the approval of man or of God.

Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. So Paul sort of goes, has been through this in a real way. We should pursue the praise of God rather than men. That's harder than just saying it, though, because there's such a natural tendency to try to gain the approval of our peers, our boss, our family, you name it. A girl, a guy, but to have the approval of God, that's everlasting. Paul said in 1st Thessalonians 2-4, but just as we have been approved by God, to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.

Is that where your heart's at today? Just think about it for a moment. The language you use, the tone of voice that you speak with, is all of it to gain hearts of man or God? Is it to please man or God? Is it to gain the approval of God or the approval of men? Proverbs 295, the fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. There's a nice promise for you. That's Proverbs 29, 25. I think I'm going to put these all in the notes for you. So if you're jogging, don't worry about it. I'll get them to you. By the time you get home, you should probably have them.

Okay. So John 12, 42, and 43, listen to this. John says, nevertheless, many of the authorities believe, in Jesus, but for fear of the Pharisees, they did not confess it. Wow. It sounds like they kind of went through this in antiquity, just like we are today. Let me read that again. If you didn't catch it, it's John 12. Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in Jesus, but the fear of the Pharisees, they did not confess it because of that, lest they should be put out of the synagogue, for they love the praise of men more than the praise of God. Wow. Now, take that apart for a moment. My friend, listen, have you ever believed in the Lord, believe something about the Lord, something bore witness with your heart, but you didn't confess it? Why? Because you love

the praise of fellow students more than the praise of God. You loved the praise of fellow employees or family members more than the praise of God. Listen, only you can gauge this, not me. Way out of my pay scale. Is that you that John 12, 42 through 43 is talking about? Hmm. And then, oh, my favorite verse. I know I've always thought that everybody should have a life verse.

I've got one. I've had that since, what was it? But 1981. No, 1983. 1983, I was in a car, backseat of a car, driving from Bradenton, Florida, to Pella, Iowa. Long ride. And I spent the entire time memorizing scripture. And the one that I memorized on that trip that really, really stuck with me was Galatians 220 and it became my life verse. I think I've run into at least seven or eight people over the years

that that was their life verse as well. We should have a reunion, a Galatians 220 reunion. Listen to what it says here in light of what we're talking about and that is playing the comparison game. Paul says to the Galatians, I have been crucified with Christ. It's no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. I love that. And you know why I love it? Because it really speaks about the fact that I'm dead. I've been crucified with Christ. It's no longer I who live. And if I no longer live, then why in the world am I struggling so much? Why am I battling with myself so much? Why am I comparing myself with so many different variables if I'm dead, but alive in Christ.

The only conclusion I can come to is, I don't believe it. That's the only conclusion I can come to is that the thoughts of men and the favor of men and women is more important. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Two more here real quick.

John 544, how can you believe when you receive glory from one another? And do not seek the glory that comes from the only God. If nothing else, listen, I got, what have we got here? Ten verses that I put together, I'm going to put them all in the notes for you. And you know what you should do over this Thanksgiving weekend? Marinate in the Word of God. Soak in it. allow it to go deep in your heart.

2 Corinthians 5.9, so whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please God. Let me put it another way, shall I, fellow believer. So whether we are at school or away, make sure that this is your aim to please God. Whether you are at work or away, make it your aim to please God. Whether you are on vacation or away, make it your aim to please God. A few more. First Samuel, 16, 7, but the Lord said to Samuel, do not look on his appearance. That was when Iliab, David's oldest brother, was being looked at, you know, to become the king of Israel. They kind of passed over the older brother there. And they went for the baby brother

little David. The Lord said to Samuel, do not look on his appearance or on the height of his statue, stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees, not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance. Who do they ever? But the, Lord looks at heart. He looks on the heart. Good news. Ephesians 6-6, not by the way of eye service as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart. And finally, last one, John 21, 20 through 22, listen to this. Peter turned and saw following them the disciple whom Jesus loved, who had laying close to his breast at the supper. And it said, Lord, who is it that is going to betray you? And when Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, Lord,

what about this man? And Jesus said to him, and here it is. Here's the kicker. Jesus says to Peter, if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? What is that to you? Follow me. Cha-ching. Love it. So those are some 10 scriptures, and I'm going to put them in the notes for you. And I am going to write out a prescription between now and next week to marinate. in those verses with one thing in mind am I playing the comparison game

or am I looking to Christ in everything and pleasing Christ and praising Christ and my edaboys and kudos which is Greek for eddaboy comes from Jesus to me

doesn't come from other people it doesn't hold the weight that I need in my heart and you don't either let's pray the name of the father son and the Holy Spirit Jesus, we love you so much. And we thank you today for giving us your word. And we thank you, Lord, for straightening out our thinking. We need this from time to time. Lord, may this week, may we

marinate in your word and truly gain a perspective. And that is that you are the only thing that matters. And we can't get caught up in playing the comparison game. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. I love you. And I'm asking you to pray for me and I'll pray for you. Talk to you next week.