The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Fathers, Rise Up!

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

What is the role of a father? How can fathers rise up to the challenges of the world? Today, Jeff offers encouragement and advice for all fathers. He shares stories from his own life as a father and as a son to emphasize the importance of fatherhood. Snippet from the Show A father’s blessing gives firm family roots. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

Welcome to the Jeff Kaven Show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 328. Fathers Rise Up. And a happy Father's Day to all of our fathers. That's the week. This is the week. I should say that we celebrate. Father's Day. And we just want to take a few minutes this week to say thank you to all the fathers. Thank you for being who you are. And thank you for modeling God the father to your family. I know it's not the easiest thing to do in the world today for a number of reasons. One is that society, for one reason or another, has seen it appropriate to attack fathers and to attack masculinity. And it's taking a toll on some men. I read about this. And I've listened to

to some talks about it, and there are a lot of men out there that do feel like that their place in society and the family is being usurped by ideologies that are, you know, frankly, against fatherhood. And when you go back to the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, the catechism basically tells us that when Adam and Eve fell, it was a rejection of God's fatherhood. It was the rejection of God being father and they were running from that. And I think the farther you run away from God, the father, the more messed up you get. You really do because we are created to have a relationship with God the father. And it's interesting because biblically speaking, God is not like a father. That's not the way we describe him. He's not like a father. It's not a

metaphor or anything like that. He is father. In his essence, he is a father. And we are in need of being fathered by God more than ever. When I came back to the Catholic Church back in 1995, there was a few people in Protestant circles who heard about it and kind of took some shots, you know, and my friend, my very good friend said, yeah, I told so-and-so at so-and-so college that you had returned to the Catholic Church. And they immediately said, oh, he needed a father. figure, huh? And rather than standing up and saying, no, I don't need that, you know what I did? I just, I leaned right into it. And I said, I said, so-and-so. There's a lot of so-and-so's here, but so-and-so, you don't know the half of it, how much I need a father. That's me. I need a father.

I almost wanted to say to him, what's your excuse? But yes, yes, part of my coming back to the church was John Paul II and my need of a father. Now, I love my father and I've got a great relationship with him. years old, happy Father's Day to my dad. And, you know, I'm really, I'm really blessed to have had a father like my dad. He's Robert Kavens. He's a father of three, husband and Patricia. He's got a PhD in electrical engineering. He used opportunities growing up for my growing up to teach me things. And, you know, I hear his voice a lot in my mind. And I'm just very thankful for him today. So in our society, what I was going to tell you is that there is this attack on masculinity, on fatherhood, and on identity as fathers. And this is what happened with Jesus in the desert

when the enemy came to him in Matthew 4. And he attacked his identity. He said, if you are the son of God, then cause this stone to become bread, make it into bread. If you are the son of God, notice it's the identity attack. And don't let this culture your identity as father. You are a father. Wear it proudly, you know. And don't be ashamed of it. Don't hide it. Don't cloak it with some other message. Be bold as a man. Let that masculinity that is controlled by the Holy Spirit, let it just flow out there into society because that's what they, that's what they need. So I wanted to share a couple scriptures with you. This is a shorter show, and I just wanted to give you something to think about this week. One of my favorite book,

particularly after coming back to the church in 95 was Syrac. Now, when I was a Protestant pastor, we didn't read Syrac. And Syrac, I got to tell you, this book is a gem. It's an absolute gem. And Syrac Chapter 3 is a chapter that really gets into this whole idea of fatherhood. And I really, really like it. So let me share with you a couple scriptures there that are fantastic. Syrac 3-9.

Serac 3-9 says, For a father's blessing gives a family firm roots. But a mother's curse uproots the growing plant. Now, we're going to drop that off right now. But I want to focus on the first part of it, and that is a father's blessing gives a family firm roots. Now, what Syrac 3-9 is talking about here is the effect on both the father and the mother on the family.

And when a father gives his blessing to the family, it is like firm roots. He's rooting his family with the blessing. And the blessing is the life of God. It's the peace of God. It is the oversight and it is the provision of God. This is what it is, the blessing. And so when Syrac says, for a father's blessing gives a family firm roots, that is really important. And men, you that are fathers and grandfathers, that's really something to really.

remember is that when you bless your family, you give them firm roots. The father gives firm roots to the family. Every day when my three girls were growing up, every day that they were growing up and I was home, I'd stand at the front door and I would lay my hands on them and say, may the Lord bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up his countenance and give you peace. And they didn't leave without it. Sometimes they say, dad, I've got to get the bus. Give me my blessing. But that blessing gives my family firm roots. Fathers, bless your children. Bless your children, fathers. Don't be embarrassed about it. You can use the erronic blessing. I'll put it in the show notes for you. The erronic blessing,

that's to the Lord bless you and keep you, cause his face to shine upon you, the prayer that, or the blessing that I just gave a moment ago. I'll put that in the show notes for you. And then it goes on and says in Syrac 3, 12, and 13, my son, take care of your father when he is old. Grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him. Revile him not in the fullness of your strength. Now that's a very important verse, Syrac 312, because I know that there are a lot of you who are, you have children still in the home, but you have parents that are struggling with dementia. And there's nothing to be ashamed about that it's like it's like a an illness of the lungs or or the intestines and this is of the brain and it's

something that my father struggles with and and so for me to take care of him when he is old is is a blessing to him even if his mind fails be considerate treat him with with consideration and love and tenderness and you are that man who can bring that to your father just spend the time with him let him know that you love him be a blessing to him i was really moved by these uh verses and i wanted to share them with you guys as fathers today that your blessing is is giving your family firm roots and as a son make sure you take care of your father even if his mind fails be considerate with him and to revile him not in the fullness of your strength those were those were the scriptures i wanted to share with you but there were some some more things i wanted to share like um it's important to remember

that a father images the heavenly father. That's one of the roles of a father in the family. And I remember saying to my daughter one year, and when I said it, I thought, oh, man, what did I say? It was my daughter Carly, and I remember saying to her, honey, I want you to watch me, and I want you to watch me love mom. And I want you to know that this is what God is like. I want to love mom and love you and provide for the family, and I wanted to image the Heavenly Father. And then when I was done, I thought, oh, boy, did I say a boatload there. But it really helped me in realizing what my role was in the family as someone who is imaging the Heavenly Father, that when you look at me, you should see the Father. As Paul said, follow me as I follow Christ, say to my children,

follow me as a father, and you'll get a glimpse of your Heavenly Father. And so a Father, is imaging the heavenly father, but also a father protects the family physically. They're like a night watchman, looking at the darkest night, hours of the night. They're watching over their family. They're watching over their boys and their girls and they're protecting the house physically. But they're also protecting their family spiritually, which means that a man who rises up and is going to stand in that role as a father and a husband and a protector. That is a man of prayer.

that is a man of prayer because it's not by might it's not by might it's by it's by the power of god the word of god it's by prayer and wisdom that's how a man protects his family spiritually he stands in the gap he binds the strong man he puts a hedge of protection around his family in prayer and he does it often uh he takes holy water and he blesses the the doors of their rooms and proclaims it a holy place, a separate place. And this house is a house of prayer. It's a house of love. And that's up to the father to do that.

Fathers, rise up. Do it. Be the man. And he also provides food, clothing, shelter. He is one who provides the necessary things to live in life. That's your responsibility. Now, I know that husbands and wives, they share that responsibility, but I'm speaking specifically to men today, fathers.

that is your responsibility to provide for your family and put them first. And a father takes care of his family's needs before his own. Did you know that? There's really an order there, a priority. A father is willing to go without as long as his family can be provided for. And a real man knows that it's time to put the toys away and be an example of Christ. Jesus didn't have any distracting hobbies that I'm aware of, but a real man of God is a man of prayer,

man of provision. He protects his family physically and spiritually. He images the heavenly father. He puts those kids and his wife first before himself. He becomes a servant of the family. When he comes home from work, he comes into the home. He's coming into the real work he's called to here. And it's not a time to put your feet up, grab a beer, grab the paper, and have everyone wait on you. When you come home, rise up. Be the leader. Be the leader. Be the leader. the husband, be the father. That's what we're called to do. We really are. And a father by way of Father's Day here, I'm trying to encourage you. A father teaches his children the ways of God, which is the Bible and the catechism. And so rise up and teach your children. I did a conference

years ago in California asking about 1,500 people, I think it was. And I asked how many people here have ever had a father or a mother, a priest, a deacon, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, friend, sister. Somebody sit down and show you how to read the Bible. I looked at that crowd like a panoramic view. Not one person raise their hand. Not one. This ought not to be. So fathers take the responsibility to teach your children. There's wonderful material at Ascension Press. You can get the Bible timeline for teens with Mark Hart, you can get the Bible timeline that I do, which is the 24-hour one, or the unlocking the mystery of the Bible

that will take you through the Bible in eight half-hour classes. One way or another, fathers, get into the Word of God and learn the structure of the Word of God and begin to quote it and share it with your children. It's your responsibility to teach them, because if you don't teach them, who's going to?

and we're losing our children and the fathers need to stand in the breach they need to stand in that gap and say not in my house no and i'm going to take responsibility to teach them give ascension press a call there's there's a lot of materials that they can provide you with to help you in this i'm serious this is what this is what father's day should be all about rather than, you know, brats in a beer and got you a gift or two. On Father's Day, show them what a father is, right? And so teaching your children, you've got the Bible, you've got the catechism, teach them wisdom. And here's another thing for a father.

And I remember this so much from my dad growing up. Fathers, love your children's mother. Love your children's mother. In other words, your wife. I know you love your wife, but do you love their mother? You love your children's mother. In front of them, do they see affection? Do they see your tender heart towards her?

Do they see you serving her, caring for her, listening to her, being gentle, patient? All of that. So men rise up, love your children's mother. And put others first. I mentioned this earlier, but I just want to say it again. put one another in your family first put each each of them number one and one of the big regrets for men is that when their children grow up the and i've heard this from so many men that when their children grow up they wish they had spent more time with them and i i put this in a book i think it was

oh who wrote the book now el cresta alcresta wrote the book um about memories of some of the speakers and teachers in the Catholic circles, and I told the story about dropping my daughter Carly off at Steubenville. It broke my heart. I knew it was coming. She was graduating from high school, and she was going to go to Franciscan University. That's over in Ohio. We're in Minnesota. That's a long two-day drive. And I remember about, you know, two weeks before it was time to drive her to Steubenville. And I kept looking at her thinking, I can't believe this. I can't believe it.

She's going to be leaving home, my firstborn. And then it got to be like a week before. And I started thinking about it. And then it was, before I noted, we were going to leave the next morning. The van was packed. She had all of her clothes and everything. And we got into the van that morning when we were going to leave. We got in there.

I got to tell you, my heart was. My heart was hurting because I started to think of all the times that I could have given more. I could have spent more time with her and the time is up now. And we all got into the van and I got out of the car and I said, just a second, I got to do something. I went back in the house. I went down into the basement into a room and I just stood there. And I looked at her room and got tears in my eyes and I thought, where did the time go? I remember saying, God, I'd do anything just to have one more year.

I'd do anything to have one more year with her. To do some of the things I think I failed to do, you know, and I did what I could, and I hope I was a good father, but now the time is up, oh man, I wish I had some more time. Fathers, if you got time with your children, use it wisely, stop playing around, don't pick up new hobbies, don't go carving duck decoys and, you know, buy a new bowling balls in that 18th gun. Don't do it. Just focus on your kids. Focus on your kids. You're a father. Focus on them. And so I came back out to the car and we drove to Steubenville two days and I kept looking at her in the rearview mirror and it reminded me of when we came home from the hospital with her.

We had her little seat in the back in the middle and I looked in the rearview mirror at her and thought, wow, what have we done? We've got a child. I got 18 years here. I've got to have to teach her and care for her. And there I was. She was 18. I was looking at her in the back seat and was driving away. And we got to Steubenville and we were going to be there for a couple days. And I thought, you know, I've got three days. I got two. And then the day came. And my heart was just broken. I was happy for on one hand. Don't get me wrong. I was happy for. But I spent about an hour that morning very quickly writing an entire letter to her about how much I love her

and what I thought about her and everything and I wrote it. It must have been like six or seven pages or something like that and it came time to say goodbye to her and both Emily and I, our hearts were just, you know, in her throat. And I told her I didn't want to leave her at the front of the school. I wanted to leave her somewhere else and we walked up to the cross at the campus there, a huge cross on the hill.

and we walked up, and the little girls, my Jackie and Tony were like, what are we doing, Dad? And I said, just come with me. And I brought Carly up to that cross. I gave her the letter. And I told her, I said, I brought you here to the cross for a reason. I said, this is what we've been all about in our family. And the cross is the place of transformation.

And this is where I want to leave you with the cross, with the Blessed Mother. and I started to cry. My middle daughter said, what's dad crying about? Well, you know, when a family member leaves you, it impacts you, you know. And so we ended up dropping her off there and we got in the car and we headed back to Minnesota in the first two hours, my wife and I couldn't even look at each other. We just looked forward and tears running down our face. And, you know, I was doing something that I'd never thought I would do. I was driving away from my daughter.

I'm the protector. I'm the provider. And I'm doing something that doesn't feel right, you know. And that was so hard. And it must have been, I don't know, three hours down the road. We could finally start talking to each other a little bit. And when we got back home, the next day, we had a tradition in our house. Every night for prayer, we would all go to the girls' room.

when we would all kneel down to the, along the bed, it was a bunk bed, and we would kneel down on the bottom level, Carly, Jackie, Tony, Emily, and myself. And we knelt down, and I looked to the left where Carly normally was and got choked up. I just cried. And my middle daughter said, why is Dad crying again? And Emily said, well, sometimes when you know your children, leave home, a father will need some time to get used to it, you know, get over it in a way. And Jackie looked at me and she smiles, she goes, I'm over it. It broke the, you know,

the ice at that point. And we all kind of laughed. But I remember that day very, very well. And I still remember wanting another year. And so I'm just encouraging you as fathers. I don't know how much time you have left, but take advantage of it. Be a man. Rise up. Pid, attention to your family and make sure there's firm roots. Father's blessing gives firm family roots. If your dad is old and he can't get around, make sure you take care of him. You love him. And even if his mind is failing, you'd be considerate to him and treat him with dignity. So I wanted to share that with you. So happy Father's Day, men, and I stand with you. and we've got a lot of work to do.

Don't let the news get you down. Don't let the marketing out there get you down. Just rise up and be a man, be a man of God. And let that light shine. Let's pray. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus, thank you so much for the opportunity to be a father. I thank you for my father, the role modeling he did for me

all those years and loving my mother and taking care of us and teaching us, I couldn't have done it without him. And I thank you, Lord, for blessing him, even in his old age. And I lift up my friends, my friends who are fathers. And I pray, Lord, that you would give them direction, give them power, give them clarity, and how to be a father, give them courage in the midst of a culture that is trying to take away masculinity. Give them courage, Lord. They're not alone.

They're not alone. And our blessed mother, we ask you for prayer. Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Love you, man. God bless.