The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Hogging the Cashews: Why Do People Bother You?

Episode Date: February 22, 2018

Does it ever bother you when someone chews ice right next to you, breathes a little too loudly, or hogs all the cashews? Today you will learn how to strengthen your relationship with God by improving your relationship with other people. Become a better disciple and learn how to live and love in the midst of these everyday annoyances that can sometimes drive you crazy. Afterwards, ask yourself, “Is there someone I have a problem with that I can honor today?” We’d Love to Hear from You Do you have comments or questions for Jeff? Use the comment box below, or email Jeff at [e-mail]. You may hear your question or comment in an upcoming podcast episode!

You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show. Episode 53, Hogging the Cachus. Why do people bother you? Hey, I'm Jeff Cavens. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general.

It's the Jeff Cavan Show. Glad you joined me again. So you do like the Cachus, huh? So do I. Well, we're going to talk about that. People who hog the cashews and people who chew ice and do all kinds of things. And it drives you nuts. It absolutely gets you angry.

But why? Why do we get so bothered by people hogging the cashews? This all actually came as a result of going to a party prior to Christmas. And they know how you have the mixed nuts sitting out. And I went over there. And there was a couple other people picking. through the nuts and I started to notice that they were taken the cashews and which I think most of us would say on the scale of quality the cashews are kind of king you know in those mixed

nuts and they were leaving all of the Brazil nuts and the hazel nuts and things that well frankly some of us weren't that interested in but I would sit there and watch and think why are they hogging the cashews but more importantly why did it bother me so much that people would hog the cashews has anyone ever hog the cashews in your life or the equivalent or somebody sitting around chewing ice in the summer and for some reason it just drives you crazy or you can hear someone breathing and you get irritated oh my we have work to do don't we that's what we're going to talk about on the show today and it's all about becoming better disciples of the lord and learning to live and to love in the midst of sometimes seemingly silly things like

like this. So that's what I want to talk about today. Hey, by the way, you guys have been doing a great job of putting notes in and ranking the show on iTunes. And I so appreciate that because it does a lot for the show. Yay, continue to do that. Appreciate it. And I really do appreciate you sharing the show with loved ones who need to hear some of the things that we're talking about when it comes to being modern day disciples and getting our life together, getting our act together, if you will for the Lord. And if you have shows that you want me to talk about or comment or regular rather topics that you want me to talk about, please send me a note. The Jeff Kaven Show at ascensionpress.com. The Jeff Kaven Show at ascensionpress.com. Love to hear

your comments. Love to hear your suggestions. And that's how that's how we roll here. We listen to you and get your input. And then we talk about these shows. So this is episode 53, hogging the cash You know, one of the things that we listen for when we go to church on Sunday is how can we improve our relationship with the Lord? And we're always interested in improving our relationship with the Lord. But most would not have a problem if I said, we must have quality, time, and prayer and the word of God. Nobody has a problem with that. But when it comes to our relationship with the Lord, there's another aspect that we have to consider, and that is our relationship with one another.

for it was Jesus who said that if we come to him and have something wrong in a relationship we must lay down our offering and do what go to our brother go to our sister and make it right Matthew 5 23 and 24 all these will be in the show notes by the way Jesus also said in Mark chapter 12 verses 28 through 31 said one of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer he asked him of all the commandments, which is the most important? The most important one, answered Jesus, is this. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

In Hebrew, that would sound like Shama, Israel, Adonai, Elohino, Adonai, Echad. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind, and with all your strength. And then he goes on, he says, and the second is this. love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Now, what's interesting about that teaching style of Jesus is that when he says that you should love the Lord your God

with all of your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and your strength, then he says, the second is this. Well, that's a parallel. In other words, he's telling you another way to do this. How do you love God with all of your heart and with all your soul and your mind and strength? Well, you love your neighbor.

That's how you love God. You love your neighbor. as yourself. So this text comes from Leviticus 19, which speaks much on our relationship with each other. So this is going to be really important as we look at this topic today that if we want to love God, we've got to love our neighbor. And I have to ask you, scenario, it's New Year's Eve. Jesus comes over to celebrate with you. The mixed nuts are on the table. he picks the cashews. Will it bother you? No, I know what you're going to say. You say, oh, no, if Jesus picks the cashews, that's not going to bother me, but Frank over there taking the

cashews, that gets me upset. We've got to ask ourselves why. Ephesians chapter 2 says that we're built to be a dwelling place for the spirit of God. We as the church, the members of the church, are a dwelling place for the spirit of God to rest in our lives. And Paul said to the Colossians in Chapter 2 that there's a relationship between being united in love and understanding the Lord. He says, for I want you to know how greatly I strive for you and for those at Laodicea and for all who have not seen my face, that their hearts may be encouraged as they are knit together in love to have all the riches of assured understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery of Christ, in whom are hidden.

all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. And then he says in verse four, I say this in order that no one may delude you with beguiling speech. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ. So he says, For I want you to know how greatly I strive for you and for those at Laodicea, that our hearts may be encouraged, knit together in the world.

love. And that was his prayer for us, is that our hearts would be knit together. We would think the best of each other. We would pray for one another. We would, yeah, yay, cheer for each other, rather than to be bothered by each other. Now, Philippians 1, Paul talks about how in an atmosphere of love, and if we walk in love, and that is to prefer one another above ourselves, in an atmosphere of love comes discernment, discernment. What's important? What's not important? What's worth getting angry about? What's not worth getting angry about? He says, and it is my prayer, this is in Philippians 1, 9 through 11. It'll be in the show notes. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more with knowledge and all discernment so that you may approve what is

excellent and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ. Filled with the fruits of righteousness, which come through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God. So we see that a local body of believers, your church, your parish, your family, your sphere of influence, a local body of believers do not function flawlessly or automatically. There must be a degree of spiritual maturity. If we're going to be walking in step with one another, in unity with one another, as a consistent witness of Jesus Christ in the world today, then there's got to be a certain level of maturity among us.

And I've got to tell you, getting upset about someone taking the cashews or them breathing heavy at dinner is not maturity. It's immaturity. Well, I'm going to get email on this. You don't know my husband the way he breathes. Well, thank God he breathes. Paul taught that Christians should work hard at creating unity in the body. And that's why he opened 1st Corinthians 1, 10,

the way he did. He said, I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. Now, one of the things that I was so struck by when I was preparing for this show is how many times the Apostle Paul talks about one anothering one another. He talks about being devoted to one another, honoring one another, accepting, and serving, and greeting and bearing with and all these things. And I thought I'd go through them real quickly with you because if you're bothered by somebody taking the cashews

and you're bothered by someone chewing ice at dinner or breathing heavy or you're bothered by some weird click that they have or quirk in their life, it's your problem. Not theirs. It's your problem. And you need to love. you need to love instead of thinking about how comfortable that person makes you.

So he talks about one anothering one another. That is your assignment this week to one another, one another. I'm going to take a break when I come back. I'm going to give you some of these one another's that Paul talks about that just might solve your cashew problem and might solve your heavy breathing problem that bothers you so much as we begin to actually put other people first instead of. ourselves. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show. It's hard to live out your Catholic

faith on your own. In fact, the Bible reveals that we need a community of people to help us on our journey of faith. If you're interested in finding that community by joining or starting a small group study, visit ascensionpress.com and sign up for a free Ascension account. With your account, you'll get all the tools you need to start walking with others towards Christ. All right, we have come to the point where we're going to look at one anothering one another. Paul talks about our relationship with each other, and if we have a good relationship with one another, and we prefer one another and pray for one another, it very well could take care of

some of the cashew problems that we have when we go to those dinner parties and people take the cashews and it drives you utterly nuts, which is actually funny in itself. Okay, so Paul is saying one another, one another. He starts off and he says, be devoted to one another in brotherly love in Romans 1210. All in the show notes, relax. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. What is brotherly love? Philadelphia. The city that beat the Vikings this last year. That's a whole other show. That bothers me more than the cash shoes. Anyway, that's a whole other. Brotherly love refers to the love that exists between brothers and sisters this speaks of family we are to be devoted to one another in brotherly love let

freedom ring huh let me ask you this question if you had a problem with someone in your family or you didn't feel you were getting everything you should out of your family would you leave your family would you leave your family and the answer is probably no you wouldn't leave your family would you. You wouldn't leave your family. So be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Number two, honor. Well, let me go back real quick there. Let me go back. The term brotherly love, I just noticed this in my notes, is used over 230 times in the New Testament. Brother is used 230 times. It means from the same womb. Paul point, Paul's point is clear. Love one another like a family. I like that. In Romans 12 10, he talks about honoring one another.

strive to make other believers look and sound good, honor one another, rejoice in others' achievements and successes. Very important for us to do. It was Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples in John 13, and he asks us to have that same mentality. Is there someone that you have a problem honoring today? Bring it to the Lord and say, Lord, help me to honor that person.

and then accept one another, just as Christ accepted you, Romans 15-7. Accept one another. Unfortunately, many times this is based on what you did or did not do. We attach many extras in determining whether we will accept one another. It's got to be on our grounds, on our criteria. Well, if they take the cashews, can't you accept them? if they breathe a little heavy can't you accept them

if they crunch their ice can't you accept them except one another the next one is to greet one another Paul says in Romans 16 3 through through the rest of the chapter he talks about greeting one another and when we greet one another we greet one another

in love and acceptance and we forbear with one another Galatians 513 says serve one another This is a great one If you're having problems with idiosyncrasies of other people And it kind of gets to you Well, serve them Literally it means to be slaves or servants to one another

And this is why Paul told the Ephesians Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ I like that, submit to one another Out of reverence for Christ Somebody takes the cashews, it bothers you, stop serve them out of reverence for Christ. Thank God there's cashews for them to have. Thank God they're breathing.

The next one is really probably the key here, and that is bear with one another. Bear with one another. Ephesians 4 too. To bear means to be tolerant towards other Christians idiosyncrasies and weaknesses and their faults. bear with them.

You don't have to get angry. You don't have to. You can bear with them. We're family. We see each other at our best. We see each other at our worst. We can bear with one another. Colossians chapter 3, verses 12 through 14,

Paul says, gives us really a clear command to forgive as the Lord forgave us. It sounds sort of minuscule here and trite, But if they took the cashews, forgive them. Big deal. It's not worth wrecking your day. Some people have grudges for years. Bearing with one another takes a deliberate act of the will. And then the last one here is encourage one another. Encourage each other with the word. Encourage one another. Those people in this church that struggle are the ones who have to deal with and deal with people and their idiosyncrasies. But don't treat the church like merchandise at the mall

switching every time something rubs you wrong or you just feel restless. And if you're restless, God is maybe trying to deal with you. Listen to him. Stop moving around. Stop looking for the perfect place and the perfect friends. We're all flawed. We can bear with one another and encourage each other.

The Bible is filled with stories of of men failing God, but God giving that person a new beginning, an opportunity to pick up the failed ideas, the botched efforts and try again. Shouldn't we give each other new beginnings, new opportunities? A life should be judged not on a few efforts or one failure or success, but over a lifetime. So we need to pursue unity, and Jesus knew that the fulfillment of God's plan was contingent upon our love for each other and our unity that we create, don't let a cashew get in the way. Don't let a cashew get in the way. I want to end by just sharing this with you. St. James talks about why we get angry with one another. And he says that we get angry with

one another because we don't get what we wanted. We don't get what we wanted and we have a sense of justice and that we're being violated. Next time somebody takes the cashews, next time someone's idiosyncrasy gets underneath your skin, it's at that point where we need to say to ourselves, my sufficiency is in Christ, my reward is in Christ, my comfort is in Christ, not in what other people are doing. I can overlook people's idiosyncrasies and love them, bear with them, and encourage them, and greet them, and serve them, and honor them and accept them. I can do that because, listen, you've got some weird idiosyncrasies yourself, but Christ encourages you, bears with you, and serves you, and greets you, and accepts you, and honors you,

and is devoted to you, even though you have idiosyncrasies. And I imagine that some of our idiosyncrasies go way beyond cashews, way beyond ice-crunching and breathing, or the smack of lips, but he loves you. Let's imitate Christ, let's be true disciples, modern-day disciples, let's treat one another the way Christ treats us and overcome these petty issues and truly be witnesses of Jesus Christ to the world. I'd like to hear from you. I'd like to hear if this resonates with you and if there's any idiosyncrasies that you've overcome in your life. Go ahead and write me the Jeff Kaven show at ascensionpress.com. I want to close in prayer today and ask the Lord to bless your week. And

And if you run across situations where people are taking the cashews, you know what to do now, don't you? You need to encourage each other. You need to bear with them. You need to serve them, greet them, accept them, honor them, and be devoted to one another. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord, I thank you today for giving us life and love. And I thank you, Lord, for bearing with us in our own idiosyncrasies and that you look beyond these and you love us. you love our hearts, you love us so deeply. May we imitate you as disciples,

and may we walk in your footsteps and also treat others this way. And by our love for one another, Lord, may the world know that we truly are your disciples. May cashews not get in the way, and may we never go nuts over other people's idiosyncrasies. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Have a great week.