The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - I Got Angry at Mass

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Have you ever gotten angry in Mass? Jeff Cavins shares in this episode about a time that he got angry in Mass. Using this story from his own life, Jeff explains what Scripture says on judging others. He encourages everyone to treat each other as God tells us to in Scripture. Snippet from the Show When you act on God’s word, good things do happen. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

Welcome to the Jeff Kaven show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 340. I got angry at Mass. I hope you're doing fine this week. And at the time of this show, we're ending summer. 2020, getting ready to move into fall, which in Minnesota, deep here in the woods, we start to notice that the trees are changing and everything is starting to settle down from all of the hype and all of the action of summer and the excitement of summer. So I love the woods at this time of the year. I love it. You know, sitting here at the studio in the cabin here, you can look out and you can see, even though the water and the trees around the water, everything is beginning to change.

We're not going to see the change for a week or so, you know, maybe two weeks. We really start to see it. But it's like a sign. You know, Jesus talks about you can tell the signs of the times and certainly can right now. So maybe I'll put a picture in one of these shows. Remind me, I will do that, deep in the woods of Minnesota. Sota. Well, today, I am going to talk about something that went on in my life this last week and totally took me by surprise I got angry at mass, and I had to work through it in mass.

And so I'm going to use that as an example today to talk about how we deal with anger and of all places. It wasn't the state fair, which we were at last week, you know, the grandest state fair of all of them, of course. But, and it wasn't, it wasn't at a work environment and it wasn't at home or somebody that I ran into at the mall. It was, it was in church that I got angry. And of all, of all occasions, it was actually a funeral. And it was a funeral of a father of a dear, dear friend of mine. Emily and I went to Mass and, well, I'll tell you about it in just a moment. If you do want the scriptures for today's show or any show, let me tell you how to get on the list and we'll give you the show notes every week free. All you have to do is text

my name, Jeff Kaven's, one word, Jeff Kavins, and text it to the number 3-3-777. That's 3-777. Okay, so that's the name of the show. I got angry at Mass. Let me ask you, before I tell you the infraction, what happened in Mass that got me so angry. Have you ever been angry at Mass? Now, I've talked to people before that got angry at Mass, and it was usually in two categories. One was something to do with the liturgy, the rubric, the way that something happened. You know, I remember one time I was at a Mass, and there was somebody that was new who was going to be an extraordinary minister. In other words, they were going to give people the Eucharist, the body of Christ, body and blood of Christ.

And it was there, one of their first times, I think, and they were up there by the altar, and they just reached out and they grabbed the Eucharist by themselves and put the Lord in their mouth. And they were corrected on the spot. You cannot, they call it self-communicate. If you're a layman, you can't self-communicate. You can't take the Eucharist and give it to yourself. The priest or somebody else must give that to you, right? They must give you that.

And it's the priest, in this case, up on the altar. He's going to give you, each of you, servers, the body, the precious blood. So sometimes people get upset about rubrics or the way that the liturgy is carried out or a song that was sung or something like that. The other way that people get angry is family members. something was said prior to mass and something, you know, happened in mass that just blew them up, you know, and they communicated to their wife, their husband, their kids, or whatever, that they were angry and, you know, they'll be hell to pay later. Can't pay that now we're in mass, but they get upset in mass. Neither one of those were the source of my anger in mass.

Here's what happened, okay? I'm going to, I'll share with you a blow by blow. how this took place, what went on in my thinking, and how it was resolved, all right? Now, let me start off by giving you what the scripture says. In Matthew chapter 7, verses 1 through 5, judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice that log in your

own eye or how can we say to your brother let me let me take the speck out of your eye and then when there's a log in your own eye you hypocrite that's what matthew says you hypocrite this is jesus first take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye so the reason i got angry at mass had to do with judgment it had to do with judging here's what happened i went to the funeral my wife and and we're sitting in a middle section towards the back. There was a couple of ladies behind me, and there was some people behind Emily.

Well, anyway, one of the problems that we have these days is if something hits you in mass, whether it's a song or the homily and you really like it, well, you want to record that. I mean, you'd like to write down the name of that song. Or for me, I like to write down the words to a song where something father said, I want to take it with me. That was spot on. That was so good. It was golden. I want to keep it. And so what I do is sometimes I try to take a notebook with me because I know

this can bother some people. But in this case, I didn't have my notebook. So I took out my phone and I wrote down the words to the song that I just loved. I just loved those words. In fact, here were the words that just hit me. And I've heard them before, shepherd me beyond my wants, beyond my fears from death into life. That hit me for some reason in the funeral. And so I started to write that down. And as I wrote that down, I felt someone push real hard on my left shoulder. They pushed me forward.

I thought, oh, somebody wants to talk to me. or they say, hi, Jeff, or something like that. So I looked behind me to the left at the person, and I didn't know who she was, and I don't think she knew who I was. And she said, she had an angry look on her face, and she said, seriously, in a funeral? And I thought, wow. And I just, I held up my phone, and I said, there were such beautiful words I want to record him. And she took the bulletin of the funeral and put it in my face and said,

read this and i thought wow wow and i emily emily knew something happened but she didn't know to what degree and i looked forward i put my phone down and suddenly this anger rose up inside of me you know what i'm talking about right if something like this has ever happened to you you know what what can happen and so my hands were even shaking i was just like you know i'm angry now here's what is I ended up losing track of the next 10 minutes of mass of what was even going on. And I couldn't even tell you to this moment what happened. And I don't think I've ever been that angry before I mass. How could she, I thought to myself.

Now, I'm just going to give you my honest response. I thought, how could she do that? Who does she think she is? That self-righteous, self-centered, blah, blah, blah. I started putting together this list of descriptors that I was going to give to her at some point. I went through this. Now, I'm not saying this is right. I'm just telling you this was Jeff that day.

This is Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, after 45 years of studying the Bible, okay? So I said, I said to myself, what do I do? How do I respond to this? And I thought, she has no, I went through this whole litany. She has no idea what I was writing. She doesn't know who I am. She doesn't know that I was going to use this in a podcast because it was so beautiful. I wanted to write a letter to my friend and her brother and tell them what a beautiful funeral it was

and that this music really blessed me. And who does she, is she a judge, she's judging me. She judged me. She prejudged me. And she called me out in the middle of a mass and a funeral. who does she think so i went on like this for minutes rehearsing all of my angry response and what i would say to her and then i started thinking you know what we got the sign of peace coming up and at the sign of peace if that's going to be my time that's when i'm going to say something to her i got to come up

with something really really good and uh i'll put her in her place right here in mass you know because that was just so uncalled for, and it really chapped me. Okay, so I'm thinking about sign a piece, what I'll do, what I'll do at that point. And then I started thinking, well, is that the right time, or should I wait till after Mass? And after Mass went in where? And what should I say? So I ended up coming back from communion, which was one of those, opportunities where I could have looked at her with a message of, you judge her, or I could have

said something, you know, because I noticed she didn't go to communion. She didn't kneel. She wasn't Catholic. I'm pretty sure she wasn't Catholic. So I even thought of saying to her, hi, welcome to my church. Okay. So you're sitting there listening right now saying, Jeff, I'm so surprised that you would think those things. Well, don't be because I'm like everybody else, you know, and when something like that happens. So I went through these things. And then I, and then I entertained the thought of just love her. And then I thought, nah, she needs to be corrected here. She needs to know what she did and the, the after effects of it. She stole part of a mass from me. Anyway, so I went to communion. And on the way back, I noticed she hadn't gone to communion. And I looked at her and she

looked at me. And I just smiled. Not a cocky smile. Not a smile of, look at me. But just a pleasant smile. And it kind of nodded my head. And I knelt down. I said, okay, you're doing fine so far. You're doing fine so far. So I'm going to take a break here. When I come back from the break, I'm going to share with you what I actually did from that point forward. You're listening to The Jeff Kavens show. Have you discovered the graces of praying Novenas? I'm Annie Deddens. And I'm John Paul Dedens.

We're the creators of Praymorenovenas.com, a ministry that helps Catholics pray this nine-day prayer, and the authors of Ascension's pocket guide to Novenus. We've found that the tradition of praying novenas bears great fruit today, just as it has for centuries. Mother Teresa, Padre Pio, and other great saints prayed novenas. This form of prayer has helped many faithful Catholics to grow closer to Christ. The pocket guide to novenas is your guide through 20 different novenas, 14 of which we wrote especially for this book,

from a novena to St. John Paul II, to praying the novena for healing, or even praying for the Blessed Mother to undo knots in your life. This little book can be your go-to guide for Novenas in your home or in your travels. You can order your copy today at ascensionpress.com slash novenus. Thanks for coming back staying with me. You probably are wondering what I did after communion and I was kneeling still thinking about what that lady did by pushing me, pushing me on the shoulder and saying, seriously?

I wonder if I'll ever meet her in a mall. I wonder if she'll ever come back to that church. I thought about all these different things. And then I thought, as I was kneeling there, I thought, what would Jesus do in this situation? And apparently it wasn't a big deal to Emily because she didn't ask me what happened there, even after Mass.

And even to the recording of this, she's never asked me. she'll listen to this and start talking about it but she never said what was with that lady what happened there and uh when i came back from communion actually the lady that was sitting next to her who was not her friend gave me a look of can you believe that and i gave her a look back of well you know so anyway when mass was coming to an end i had a decision to make am i going to turn around at the end of the Lord loves us all and say something to her. Or am I just going to be nice and leave Mass in a friendly way? So at the end of Mass, as we were dismissed, I turned around and I said to her with a smile,

a pleasant smile, not a cocky smile, not a self-righteous smile, not a smile that says, I'm going to forgive you, which is one of the phrases I actually came up with. I thought I'd say, sister, I forgive you, you know, like I'm really something. But I just looked at her and I just said, I said, God bless you today in a very nice tone. And she just stared at me and looked at me, didn't say anything. And she turned around and started walking out. So I just started walking out. Well, wouldn't you know it?

She parked right by me. And so all the way out to the car, she's walking next to me. And I'm thinking, okay, now is your time. God put her there so that you could blast her. And I didn't. I didn't. I just forgave her. I just forgave her.

And I thought, you know, I have to look at things from her perspective. From her perspective, maybe something happened in the past that in church of somebody who is screwing around with their phone during mass and her texting and maybe it was her own dad's funeral or her mother's funeral that she noticed kids playing with the phone in it it really it really bothered her and seeing me maybe it maybe it really bothered her and so i tried to see this from her perspective now number one i know that any time you see someone fooling around with their phone during mass the first thing and i'm guilty of this too the first thing that I'm thinking is that they are texting in mass. And that's not, you're not supposed to be texting

in mass. I heard about a, a friend of mine told me that there was someone who put on the back of their phone a sticker that they would use at mass. And the sticker said, I'm reading the readings from my phone. So if somebody looked at them and they were ready to judge them, they'd say, oh, they're reading the readings. Now, ideally, people should be thinking the best of you to begin with, right? They should be saying, well, I'm just going to believe that that person is reading along with the readings. And so I'm not going to judge them. I'm not going to get angry with them, as if it's my mass and I own it and it's my Lord and I'm protecting him. And so I know that that can be a problem. And to be honest, I'm honest, I'm honest. I, every time I

pick up my phone to write down a note that Father says, I am aware that somebody might be offended. And so I started to think, and this is the hard part, I started to think that if this is going to offend someone, Paul said to the Corinthians dealing with meat sacrifice to idols, if you know you who are strong you know it's not a real thing you know it's not an idol but for the weak among you they will be offended therefore you who are strong should avoid it you say well jeff i can have meat sacrifice to idols if i want to i know it's nothing like paul and i'm not going to be i'm not going to be led around by my nose a ring in my nose for somebody else who just doesn't know no that's not the attitude the attitude of paul is give it up if it's going to cause someone to offend you so

taking that and putting it in this situation unfortunately i would have to say maybe i shouldn't open that phone up and take notes on the phone if it's going to cause people to be offended and especially if they know me they're going to say that's the guy with the great adventure that's the one i was telling you about mom see he fools with his phone during funerals maybe I should bring my notebook a small little moleskin notebook and a pen

and write down that thought nobody is going to push me on the shoulder and say seriously if I'm writing on the bulletin if they do then I will get them

real strong you know that come back are you against trees or something so I and the long and short of this is this I learn something

from it and if I meet her at the mall I have unloaded the barrels full of judgment on her, and maybe I'll even thank her. I don't know. I might. But Paul said of the Romans, therefore you have no excuse. Romans 2.1.

Therefore, you have no excuse, oh man, whoever you are when you judge another, for in passing judgment upon him, you condemn yourself because you, the judge, are doing the very same thing. now I judged her that she was to a self-centered conceded it was all about her she was right she thought I was wrong and the truth of the matter is I didn't know her situation or where she was coming from had I taken the time to talk to her I might have found out wow I understand now why you did that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I didn't. So pray that I meet her at a mall going forward, okay? Paul also said in Romans 14, I'll put these in the show notes, as for the man who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not for disputes over opinions. One believes he may eat anything

while the weak man eats only vegetables. Let not him who eats despise him, who abstains, and let not him who abstains past judgment on him who eats for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? Paul says in verse 4 of chapter 14. It is before his own master that he stands or falls and he will be upheld for the master is able to make him stand. Now those are the verses that I had cocked and loaded there. And then I found out I had to use.

those on myself. I had to, I had to listen to that myself about my response because my response was totally in the category of judging. Oh, I hate to tell you this. But no, seriously, that's the way it was. And so what started off being very angry, ended with me driving home, peaceful. I wasn't shaking anymore. And Emily didn't bring the topic up. And I didn't bring it up. I just let it go. Let it go. And prayed for her. I did that. I prayed for her soul. I prayed for her. And thank God for the lesson that I have discovered. And that is that I can judge in my response. And then I'm the one that is wrong. My job is to love her, pray for her, be patient, with her think the best think the best and so that was my lesson this week and by the way the funeral was

a beautiful funeral i got it i got enough to know i was there and my heart was in it but there was a dual track going there for a while and thank god and his word that when you act on his word good things do happen so has it ever happened to you so this week here's the deal this week If you run into a situation like that, what are you going to do? Are you going to blast them back? Or are you going to pause and pray and say, Lord, what should my response be? What would Jesus do in this situation? You have to prepare for that because these things will happen to you.

Somebody will judge you or say something. And it elicits a response in what will be the response all the way from you scoundrel response 2. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I offended you. I really am. Which one will you take? And which one you take says a lot about you. And where you're at with the Lord and whether Galatians 2.20 is really true or not. Paul says, I have been crucified with Christ. And it's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and delivered himself up for me. So I had to make a decision, am I truly crucified with Christ?

And it's no longer I who live. And Christ who lives in me, I had to decide that. And verdict for the day, I'm dead in crime. I have been crucified. It's no longer I who live. If it's no longer I who live, then it's no longer I who's going to squirm and scream and self-justify. So that's it. That's my show today. That's my message to you. And I'd love to hear from you. You can write me at The Jeff Kaven Show at ascensionpress.com. That's the email, The Jeff

Cavan Show at ascensionpress.com. Really do. Look forward to hearing from you. God bless you and have a wonderful week.