The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Important Content for Family Formation (Part 1)

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

Parents have a responsibility to share the faith with their children. What does this look like? How do you do it well? Jeff Cavins continues his discussion of the formation of children and parents’ role in that process. He encourages parents to live the life they want their children to live. Snippet from the Show Religion is not simply a subject in school. Religion is a way of living. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

Welcome to the Jeff Kavens show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 344, important content for family formation, part one. Hey, thank you for joining me this week. I'm Jeff Kavans. It's always a pleasure to have you and talk to you. this week we're going to do something a little bit different. Last session, you may remember, we talked about the relationship between parochial schools and parents, and we look through some of the church documents to look at what is the responsibility of parents and school. How do they work together? And I got to thinking and talking to some friends, and I see a need to go deep and look at the important content for family formation.

And so this is the first of a series where we're going to be taking a look at that. A few of the quotes in today's notes, you may remember them from last week. I'm going to repeat a few. And I think it's important. And then we're going to talk about different aspects, different aspects that are really important as far as the content, including why the church is so important. And I know that many of you are young parents or your educators and maybe you just got married or maybe you just got married a couple years ago, two or three years ago, and now you've got little children.

And you always thought growing up, you know, who am I going to marry? What's my family going to look like? And here you are. You are a family now. And so I want to talk to you about the role of parents in educating their children. And if you don't have children yet and you're married, and you want children, most likely you're going to have children. So why not prepare?

Or if you are an uncle or you are an aunt and you've got nieces and nephews and you want to have an impact on them, this show is for you. Okay? Hey, by the way, if you do want the show notes, all you've got to do is text my name, Jeff Kaven's, one word, Jeff Kavins, and text it to the number 3377. and then we'll get you the show notes. And I do have some show notes. I've got some really good quotes from the church about the role of parents in educating their children and the role of parents in their relationship with parochial schools. But we're going to get into some of the

things that are really, really important in teaching your children. One of the talks that I give to educators, and by the way, I was just out in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hello, everybody, in Charlotte, you guys rock. You really do. Charlotte has it going when it comes to the Catholic Church in education. Wow. They just really are amazing people out there. And I'm hearing that a lot of you are moving to Charlotte because so much is happening out there. So thanks. Thanks for your hospitality. Well, anyway, when I go out, I usually will talk to educators about what I call the empty bullseye and that is that when we educate our children, Catholic education, the target is actually quite big and people will come up with a lot of things to throw at the, you know,

or shoot at the target. But oftentimes the bullseye is left wide open. We don't hit the bullseye. And there are a number of things in the bullseye that we really need to teach our children. And I have several of them. I'm going to be sharing with you through. throughout this series. This is going to be a series here, at least two shows, I'm sure, of talking about how to educate our children. And one of those things is salvation history. Salvation history. That is key. They must know by the time they leave home the story of salvation history. And I'm going to give you some tips on that on how you can do it. There really is no substitute for learning the story of salvation history. Another major,

issue that children really need to learn is they need to learn what it means to be a disciple. As a young person growing up, how do we walk as disciples? How do parents nurture their children to be disciples? A third topic that we're going to be looking at in the series is this concept that the pedagogy that we use to teach our children, that is the philosophy of education, does not split spiritual things and secular things. That's an art. artificial split. That's an artificial split when we say, well, there's spiritual things and then there's secular things. Like I go to church and then I got my job, you know, or I go and pray in a holy hour and then I've got soccer practice. We don't split. We don't split spiritual things,

quote unquote spiritual things and secular things. They're all spiritual. They're all part of our faith. It's all a part of living the life of a disciple. And then the fourth thing is that every child needs to grow up and learn what the gospel is, the basic good news. That's what they need, right? That's what they need. Okay, so let's start off by grabbing the big picture. And I love St. John Paul II. St. John Paul II reminds us about the importance of seeing the big picture of life.

And he always was bringing this out. Like when he said, he said, the whole of the Christian life is like a great pilgrimage to the house of the father, whose unconditional love for every human creature, and in particular for the prodigal son, we discover anew each day. He says the pilgrimage takes place in the heart of each person, extends to the believing community, and then reaches to the whole of humanity. He says that in tertio millennio aveniente, paragraph 49. So what's he talking about? Well, he's talking about how all of our life, every aspect of it. Soccer practice, yes. And going to college, yes, all these things that we consider secular. All of these things are spiritual and they are a part of the

pilgrimage to the father's house. Now, when you've got children, your children are not going to begin the pilgrimage when they leave home. They're going to start this pilgrimage with you at home before they can talk. That right when they're born, right when they're conceived, they start this pilgrimage towards the father's house. And guess who the number one teacher is and the number one trail guide? It's you. You're the number one trail guide. You're the number one teacher. You are the one that models this pilgrimage to the father's house. And so that is very, very important. Now, before we get to the things that are in the bullseye, I think it's important to lay down a foundation of some other disciplines that need to be in place. If we're going to teach

our children, or if you're an educator, if you're an educator at a Catholic school or any school or at CCD, these are some things that you need to think about. If you are going to be a good educator of your children, it is going to take time. Time is going to be something that you have to make a decision about. How much time are you going to spend with your children? How much time are you going to put into prepping? Now, if you're a homeschooler, you know what it is to spend the time there. But if you're going to educate your children, you have to spend the time. Now, before the children of Israel went over into the promised land, Moses wrote to them in a book called Deuteronomy. And in Deuteronomy, Moses said to the people, if you want to be successful

over in that land where they take your children, they kill children to Mollock, they offer children a Mollock, they want your sons and daughters, they're going to have you worship other gods, it's going to be a mess. But you can do it. You can be successful. But here's what you got to do. Hero Israel, it says, in Deuteronomy 6-4, Hero Israel, the Lord our God is one, one Lord. And you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your might. and these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house

and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise and you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates so what is Moses talking about here he's talking about If you want to take that land, the land of Canaan, number one, you've got to live your life as though there's only one God. Shima, Israel, Adonai, Eloheno, Adonai, Echad. Here, O Israel.

The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And number two is, you've got to teach your children. And then he elaborates on this a little bit when he says that you got to teach your children. And then he says, you shall talk of these words of God when you sit. in your house. That takes time. And when you walk by the way, that takes time. And when you lie down, that takes time. When you rise, that takes time. So he's talking about an investment of time and teaching your children on this pilgrimage to the father's house. And so I cannot emphasize this enough that time is so important. And not only is time important, but the focus of that time.

we don't want to be distracted when we are teaching our children now yeah there's when we're in the car and we're on the way to the store and they're with us and we're talking to them yeah you're distracted by driving a little bit but you're with them and the radio's not blaring necessarily you're with them and you're talking to them but we're talking about you know times where there's no distractions you're not half with them and half somewhere else kids are pretty smart you know that right they are pretty smart they know when you are somewhere else dad mom i'm over here where were you what were you thinking about i call this the soccer sideline syndrome the soccer sideline syndrome if you ever go to a soccer game and you have your your seven-year-olds are out

there playing on the field and they're in that scrum we're rolling around the field trying to kick that ball no plan they just need to kick it and you're sitting on the side with your lawn chair there and what are you doing if I've seen this before at fact one time I even took a picture of it I stood on the sideline and I took a picture of all of the parents on the sideline and there must have been 15 to 20 parents on their phone and maybe one or two were looking at the field now I know enough when I was growing up that I wanted to make sure my dad was watching me and I would look over to the stands and I would see if my parents were watching. Now there were no cell phones in those days.

So they were. But now kids can look over and they can see my daddy isn't even here with me at the game. He's still at work. We need to have focus. Kavanaugh, the Jews call it Kavanaugh. That is an intense focus on teaching our children. Listen, it's your vocation. It's your vocation. It's not a part-time hobby. It's not something that you just slip in on the side or when you're not in a meeting, this is what you are called to do. You're called to teach your children and you're called to model the faith in front of them. And the way that you do that is probably the way they're going to do that with their children. Very, very important thing here. Time, focus, no distractions. You've got to carve out that time in your life to spend with your children. When my girls were

growing up, sometimes I had what I called dad time, where I had them. sit at the kitchen table. I said, sit on. I want to talk to you about something. I want to share something with you. I want to teach you something. And yeah, they gave me that look. Sometimes that dirty look. But what's interesting is that when my oldest daughter was, I believe, a senior in high school, she had to write a paper about what were your favorite times with your dad. And you know what it was? Her favorite time was she called it when my dad lectured me. I didn't lecture her. I was, I was mildly, calmly catechizing her. But she took it as lecturing her at the kitchen table.

She said, that was her favorite time. In that face, she was giving me underneath that face. She was loving it, that her dad cared enough to teach her. We got more to say about this and much more about passing on the faith to our children, the role of parents in educating their children. We'll be back right after this. This is The Jeff Kaven Show. Hi there, I'm Mark Hart, and I'm going to share with you an exciting new series called Venture, the Bible timeline for high school.

Now, let's be honest, the Bible is easily the most confusing, most misunderstood book of all time. How do these random time periods, these random people, these random stories all fit together, and what do they mean for me and for my life? In this study, we're going to take a journey through the basic story of Scripture from Genesis through Revelation, so that by the end of it, teenagers will unethical. understand the big picture of salvation history. Because when we come to know the story, we come to know our place in the story. To find out more and get a free preview of this engaging new study, visit ascensionpress.com backslash venture. Welcome back to the Jeff Kaven show.

We're talking about the role of parents in educating their children. So we were talking about the importance of time, the importance of focus, in educating our children. Let me share something with you here that the Catechism talks about when it says that parents are educators. This is paragraph 2223. That's 2,223. It says that parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children.

Man, I can't emphasize that enough. Parents have the first responsibility. It doesn't mean they're the first influencers, although they are, but they have the first first responsibility. It is a responsibility. Forming your children and teaching them isn't an option for the Christian. It is a responsibility. And the catechism goes on in paragraph 2226 and says family catechises precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Isn't that beautiful? Write that down. I'll put that in the show notes for you, in fact. Family catechises Catechesis is the passing on of the faith, the formation, family passing on a faith,

precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Okay. So where do we get other instruction? We get it on the radio. We get it in CCD. We get it in confirmation prep. We get it with summer camp, all kinds of conference, Seek, Franciscan University Conference, family catechises precedes all of that and accompanies all of that

and enriches all of that. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God. So what are we doing as parents when we're teaching our children, our nieces and our nephews, what are we doing? We are helping them discover their vocation as children of God. So your vocation is to teach them, teach them what, about their vocation, which is they are children of God. That's the responsibility of a parent. And if you're a single parent or you're a parent where your husband or your wife is not on the same page as you, yes, it's more difficult, but you can do it. You can do it. We know that nothing and no one can replace the influence of the example of a parent on the spiritual life of a child.

So religion, however, is much more than a school subject. It is a way of living. And so they have to have that input from you while you both are on the way of living. The essence of our Christian faith is really not just topics. That's not what we're all about. We're not just passing on topics. We're passing on a way of living. We are passing on a relationship with a person. And that person is Jesus Christ. So the role of parents as they work with a Catholic school, for example, or the parish, is not so much paying for a nice college prep school, as much as it is, walking together on a journey toward eternity. Very, very important. Incredible. important. Hey, by the way, there's a wonderful quote, and I'll put this in the show notes for you as

well, the National Directory for Catechesis further clarifies this role of parents. And listen to what it says here. It says that parents are the most influential agents of catechises for their children. So not only do we know that family catechises precedes the companies and enriches all other forms, but parents are the most influential agents of catechises for their children. That's, they're more influential, should be at least, than their CCD teachers or cabin counselor, camp, all these people. And parents have a unique responsibility for the education of their children. They are the first educators or catechists. They catechize primarily. How? How do you think that parents primarily catechize? Well, they, they catechise.

primarily by the witness of their Christian lives and by their love for the faith. That, that you cannot substitute for it. You cannot substitute for those two things. I'll put them in the show notes for you. You are going to catechize them by your witness, your witness, your life, your enthusiasm. And number two, by your love for the faith. And your love for the faith can be seen in how you study, how you live, what you say about the church, what you say about Father after Mass, what you do and you rise, what you do when you go to bed at night and pray, all of these things. Are you the same throughout the week as on vacation?

Are you the same Sunday as you are on Tuesday? You are a tremendous witness. so I've often said there is no sacrament of holy osmosis simply isn't you can't drop your kids off at church and they come home you know half baked as saints already doesn't happen there is no holy osmosis there is however the influence the primary influence of parents in in teaching their children another document that you should get a hold of and I'll put the title of this in the show is familiaris consortio. It's the role of the Christian family in the modern world. I don't know of any document that really can substitute this. This is John Paul II, and he's really getting into the

weeds here on the role of the Christian family in the modern world, and he talks a lot about the role of parents in passing on the faith. And so, for example, in paragraph 36, he says, Hence, parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children. Their role as educators is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it. Oh, my gosh, is that powerful? Their role as educators, your role as an educator, is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it. If you fail, being an educator of your children, scarcely anything can compensate for that. Ooh, it is deep.

That is deep. Well, I'll tell you what, I'm going to leave you right there because we're going to be back next week. And we're going to have part two where we're going to get into the target of teaching our children. And next week, we're going to talk about salvation history in our children's life and how to communicate that to it. listen i'm praying for you and i ask you to pray for me every week and i'm praying that these shows can be a part of encouraging you as a parent and part of encouraging you as a disciple i'm on the journey with you i'm just sharing some of the good stuff in my in my journey bag here as i walk with you i've got 45 years of experience in walking with the lord i have made a ton of mistakes

I'm the first to admit that, but I have learned some things along the way. And I hope to share those with you. So let's pray. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus, we love you. And we thank you for your great love for us. And we thank you for accompanying us on this journey and teaching us and empowering us to live out our vocation. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. I love you, my friend. God bless you.

Talk to you next week.