The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Making Good Decisions

Episode Date: May 4, 2018

We make thousands of decisions a day, but it's the BIG decisions that we struggle with. Should I take that job? Where should I go to school? Is it best for my family to move out of state? Sometimes these questions can really weigh on us and when we don’t have criteria to aid us in making the decision, we hastily make a poor decision simply because we ran out of time and were forced to make a choice. Obviously we cannot make decisions for one another, but today Jeff shares seven points of guidance from the Bible that will help you make a wise decision for yourself, your family, and your eternal life. Stay tuned, now that’s a good decision!

You're listening to The Jeff Kaven Show. Episode 62, Making Good Decisions. Hey, I'm Jeff Kavins. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general. It's the Jeff Kaven show.

And thanks for joining me today. Good Decision. join me on the show here where we talk about things that relate to our relationship with the Lord, mainly discipleship, going deeper with God, living life. And we talk about everything from simplicity to today, making decisions. And I know that a lot of people have a tough time making decisions. We actually make hundreds of them a day, but there are certain decisions where we would call them big, big decisions that we got to make in our life like, you know, where are we going to live, where are we going to work? What am I going to buy? Where are we going to send the kids to school?

Should I take that new job over in another state? All of these things can weigh on us. And sometimes when we don't have any criteria for making a decision, we make a poor decision. We make the poor decision hastily because we just had to make a decision. And I want to talk to you today about some insights and a few suggestions on how to make a decision. Obviously, I can't make a decision for you, and you can't make a decision for me. But there are some principles in the Bible that will help you to make at least a wiser decision, wiser for you, wiser for your family, wiser for your eternal life. And there's some warnings, too, that Scripture gives us on how not to make a decision. We're going to go through a few of those. I got back from Ireland

just this last week, and the last show was very popular. People love that show. Episode 61, Forgiveness in Belfast, where I met with my good friend Joe McCune, who was a part of the Troubles in Northern Ireland and talked about how he responded to somebody murdering his grandfather and how it impacted his life and how Jesus impacted his life. That's episode 61. In the future, I'm going to be talking more about Ireland because I'm concerned myself as a brother of brothers over there and the number of vocations going from 400 in just a few years down to six is it's a wake-up call to be honest with you and we as Christians in the West all over the world we should be praying for Ireland and I'm hoping that we can do something in the future to go back

and to say, hey, we have not forgotten about you, we love you, and we are praying for you because we are struggling ourselves in the United States, and it's time for us to band together, it's time for us to go beyond studying our faith and take action, and that is living our faith, and that's what's going to impact the culture, all the way from the way we treat one another to how we spend our money and our time, how we vote, all of it is so important. And I really believe we are at a crossroads right now in world history, and we will not win the battle if all we do is study. As important as that is, we have to begin to put this into practice, teaching our children, rolling up our sleeves, teaching them salvation history, teaching them the faith, living it out in front of them. just yesterday I was I was very inspired I was at a a coffee shop in the Twin Cities and I've been working on my latest book that's going to be coming out this year and I was writing and I heard the name Jesus to my right and I looked over and I saw two men straight across from each other with open Bibles and one man was clearly instructing the other man on the things of God and I was really talking to you.

touched by that because that's what that's what's needed in our Catholic faith with people sharing with one another sitting face to face and saying let me tell you about what Jesus taught what he expected from us and and that is what the great commission is all about is teach them to observe all that I commanded you in Matthew 28 and how many times have we experienced that among Catholics, of somebody sitting down and telling somebody what Jesus expects of us. Well, anyway, I share that with you because it was just a God wink for me yesterday, and as I was encouraged to see these two Protestant brothers and sisters doing exactly what we've all been commissioned to do, and that is to go out and make disciples.

Hey, the show is going out there, for sure. I got two letters this week. I got one from Singapore and one from Namibia. and the writer from Singapore says, I am a great fan of your podcast and I have heard almost all your podcast multiple times and wait eagerly for the next podcast. Thank you much for the time and effort

you and your team are putting in to do these podcasts, and I especially love the show notes. Time out, the show notes. She's talking about the show notes. We do send the show notes to you free every week on the show. If all you got to do is write in at The Jeff Kaven Show at Ascension Press.

I'll say that again, the Jeffcaven show at ascensionpress.com. Ask for the notes. We'll send them out every week. And once you do that, you'll be put on the list and we'll send them out every week to you as a reminder. Plus you get the notes because some of you listen in the car. And we don't want you writing notes down in the car. My friend from Singapore goes on and says, please send the show notes. I loved your podcast on my dinged up Subaru and sin. Yes, that was a uh, show 57, my dinged up Subaru and sin. It reminded me, they said, of my own life and the struggles with sinful behavior. And she says, I request, uh, if you will once again consider to do a podcast on how sin clouds our judgment makes us engage in risky behavior, impairs our moral judgment and how sin, particularly pornography, tells us that we'll never be caught. Yes, I want to do a show on that, and I appreciate that, all the way from Singapore. And by the way, next year, 2019, I will be in Singapore. We're going to be going to Australia, a five-city tour in Australia, and then we're going to jump over to Singapore for a couple days after that. I'll give you the

dates on that in another podcast. But heads up to Australia, heads up to Singapore, and I look forward to seeing you. From Namibia, a huge fan from Namibia, writes, I'm a cradle Catholic and a revert to the thanks to Father Mike and you. That's Father Mike Schmitz and you, and I was able to find my way to the Holy Church once again. I would like to be a part of the show notes for your podcast. Well, Nalillo, you are on that list now. So thank you for writing. And if anybody else wants to be on that list, just give us that email, the Jeff Kaven Show at ascensionpress.com. Well, we want to talk today about making good decisions. Have you ever had to make a really big decision and found yourself really handcuffed as far as making it. You really didn't know

which way to go. And it kind of led to you pulling your hair saying, ah, I don't know what to do. I just can't decide. I just can't decide. Well, we have to make decisions. Life calls on us to make serious decisions. Some decisions are very small, you know, of should I stop at the store before I, you know, go home? It was a small decision. It doesn't take a whole lot of wisdom. But should I take that new job? That's very important, and there's a lot to think about there. Often we take leaps of faith, hoping all works out just simply because we couldn't make a sound decision. But we're not really called to live our lives that way, just saying, well, you know, I'll do the roll of the dice.

And if it comes up, you know, two, I'll go, comes up six, I'll stay, flip the coin, heads I go, tails I stay. that's not the decision-making process that God is calling us to. He's calling us to a decision-making process that involves his wisdom and his guidance and also the sensing of the Holy Spirit inside of us. You know, we are to be led by the peace of God that passes all understanding. And any time that I have to make a decision,

and I am about ready to do A instead of B, and everything inside of me is all jumbled and confused, and I don't not feel a peace about it, that is not God, and that is not God leading me. God will lead with his peace and his purposes, and that's a real guideline for us. You know, I've had to make some real tough decisions over the last number of years. One certainly was coming into the Catholic Church. I mean, that was a big deal to come into the Catholic Church. It involved my family, my children, my wife.

It involved finances. extended family. It involved all my friends that I had made over those years. Big decision about working at EWTN for six years. I started Life on the Rock, work with Mother Angelica. Eventually, I ended up leaving to pursue really the building of the great adventure. Big decision, you know, but there's criteria that go into that decision. I get decisions, of course, you know, to speak or to travel or to have lunch with the Queen in England. I'm kidding about that one. But to speak and to travel and am I going to do it? Am I going to write another book?

What kind of impact will that have on my time and my family? So let's go through a few things. We'll take a break in a few minutes here, but I want to start off. I've got seven points of guidance to make a really good decision for you. And all this is is, it's criteria. You're the one that has to make the decision, but I'm giving you some pointers from scripture. Number one, before deciding. on an attitude or action, pray for guidance.

Number one, pray for guidance. Don't trust yourself, but look for help. Pray for guidance. And that's a really good thing to do. If you're trying to make a decision about taking that new job or getting a new roommate, you're deciding on who that new roommate's going to be, whatever it is, or you're deciding on going to a college seminary or whatever it might be are going to an order to inquire about joining, say, the Mary Mother of the Eucharist, the

Dominicans in Ann Arbor. Start with prayer. Pray for guidance. God, give me guidance. Don't let me make a mistake here. Don't let me go off, you know, off the road. But pray for guidance. And I'll give you these scriptures in the show notes. You don't have to write them down if you're driving right at the moment. But Proverbs 2.6 says, for the Lord gives wisdom. From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Also in Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not rely on your own insight, or as one translation says, do not rely on your own understanding in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Now that's, we got to trust that the Lord can do this, huh? We have to trust that the Lord can make our paths straight,

and we need to acknowledge him and pray for guidance, and not, not. Not. not rely on our own understanding. We have to do that. And I can think of several examples in my own life where if I had really relied on my own understanding, I would not have made the decision. If I was relying on my own understanding when it came to leaving my world as a Protestant pastor and coming into the Catholic Church, if I was leaning on my own understanding, I would have said, this is stupid to become Catholic because I'm not going to have an income. I'm not going to have any more friends. I'm going to be out there in the middle of the desert. This doesn't seem to make sense. My children are going to be uprooted and so forth. Yet, when I lean to the Lord and I had that

hunger for the Eucharist and made that tough decision, it was a great outcome for the entire family. Proverbs 2826, he who trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. So number one, pray for guidance. Don't trust yourself, but look for help. Look for help. Number two, when you're making a real tough decision, it's important to gather the important data. What do I mean by that? Gather the important data.

In other words, do your research, search for everything that you can find, knowledge, on the topic. Proverbs 13, 16 says in everything, a prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly. And so if you're making a decision about, for example, where to work, you want to start to gather knowledge and information about that place that you are going to work and what are the opportunities for promotion, for example, that type of thing. but if you're making a decision on where to go to school, you really want to do your due diligence. You want to find out about that school

and find out what graduates are doing as they are graduating and going out. 70% of them can't find a job in that field. You've got to consider that, you know, when you are making a decision. If you're making a decision about who to marry, gather the information, do the research. my dad said something to me before I married Emily, and it was really good advice. And you know what? He was right. He said, Bub, which he called me Bub. He said, Bob, before you make a decision about

marrying Emily, you need to look at her mother. You need to ask yourself about her mother because most likely that's who she's going to become in many areas. Guess what? He was right. No, I lucked out there, or I blessed out, one of the two. But he was right. But he was right. Right. And the older we get, the more I realize that my mother-in-law is in my wife. It's a good thing. But that can be a bad thing. It depends on who you end up marrying. But my dad gave me really good advice. Do your research. Search it out. Who's her mother? Look at her family. Very important. Number three, talk to people who are knowledgeable in the area you are deciding about. Very important. There's a biblical foundation. for this. Talk to people who are knowledgeable in the area that you are deciding about. If you want you're thinking about becoming a religious, you want to know everything about that order. Talk to people who are knowledgeable about that order. Same with a job. Same with a job. Or returning to school.

Or if you are buying a car, you know, don't just buy it because it looks cool, you know, or the commercial made you feel like you're a million bucks if you could drive. something like that. No, talk to people who are knowledgeable in the area of that of that particular car. Now, I own the, as you know, the snow leopard, the white Subaru Outback, which I did a whole show on that show, 57, my dinged up Subaru and Sin. And before I bought it, I'm not kidding you on this one now. Before you, I bought it, I spoke to people who are knowledgeable for two years. Every time I saw someone with a Subaru, I stopped them in parking lots. I walked over to their cars.

They were getting in. Excuse me, can I talk to you a second? What do you think of your Subaru Outback? Oh, I love it. Never get rid of it. You know, my wife's got one. All the kids got one. You know, if we had another kid, it would be called Subaru.

You know, you're starting to hear this out there. And that was with the Subaru. Now I have had other cars that I talk to people about and they said, never get another one. Never get another one, you know, a different brand. So I wanted to talk to people who are knowledgeable. And here's what the scripture says about it. Proverbs 1114, where there is no guidance, a people fail, a people fall. But in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.

Find out what other people have experienced about the direction that you are going with your decision. You know, today, as you know, we as Catholics do not believe in. birth control. And one of the things that I encourage young ladies to do, and they tell me, well, I think I'm going to go on birth control because my doctor said I have acne or something else and they think this is going to take care of it. I tell them, talk to women who are on it. Now, we don't believe in it, but talk to women. Do your research. Research shows that there's really serious risk to being on birth control pills, get your information, become knowledgeable. Where there's no guidance of people fall, but in the abundance of counselors, there is safety.

Of course, we believe that birth control is morally wrong, but even on a natural scale, there's danger. Before you make that decision, look at both of them. Proverbs 18, 1 through 2, he who is estranged seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment. So if you're estranged, in other words, you're alone, you're not with other people, you're not tapping in to the pool of knowledge, you're not getting good guidance, you're estranged, you're separated from wisdom, that kind of a person seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment.

Now, I've run into this so many times where people have been given sound judgment, sound wisdom in making decisions in life, and you know what they did? they dismissed all of it by standing alone and saying, well, I just don't believe that. And they have estranged themselves from wisdom, and now they're breaking out against sound judgment. Do not separate yourself from good counsel and sound wisdom and try to make a good decision. It goes on and says, a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. And then Proverbs 18, 13, if one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. So talk to people who are knowledgeable.

Yeah, I'm going to take a break. When I come back, I'm going to finish up. I've got, let's see, four, five, six, seven. I've got four more points on how to make a good decision in your life. And I hope you decide to stick with me here. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show, and I will be right back. The Bible is such an important part of our Catholic faith, but it's not always easy to understand. There are 73 separate books and so many names, places, and events that sometimes we just stop trying to figure out how it all fits together.

The good news is the Great Adventure Bible studies make it easy for you to understand the Bible. By focusing on the story that ties all of Scripture together, the Great Adventure Bible studies give you the big picture of the Bible. And once you see the big picture of salvation history, the Mass will make more sense, the Catholic faith will make more sense, and you will see how God has a loving plan for your life. The Great Adventure Bible Studies have helped hundreds of thousands of people to understand the Bible and grow closer to Christ. There's no other Catholic Bible study series like it, and you can get started on the Great Adventure today by creating your free account at ascensionpress.com. Thanks for returning good decision. We're talking about how to make a decision in life. And so far, we've gone through three really important things.

Number one, before deciding on an attitude or action, pray for guidance. Number two, gather the important data. Search for everything you can find. That's knowledge on the topic. Number three, talk to people who are knowledgeable in the area that you are deciding about. And number four, what will this decision cost you? think about your time and your money your gifts your your resources that are available this is really an important one and this is one that my wife reminds me of quite a bit

because i get an awful lot of uh invitations to go speak at conferences and parishes and different countries and i'm a yes guy to be honest with you i'm like oh i'd love to go there you know who wouldn't want to speak in paris france you know or hawaii or whatever and she she's very good about reminding me, honey, what's this going to cost you in terms of time? What's it going to cost you in terms of your resources and what your gifts and your obligations that you've already made? See, a husband and wife should be reminding each other of these things because that's wisdom in making decisions. And just yesterday, I had to say no to a really a good conference I wanted to go to, but I had a conflict that I thought, well, maybe I can move it. But

then as I tried to move it, realized this isn't wisdom for me to do this. Ah, but it's a good conference. It's a good conference. Yes, it is. But it wasn't wise. Proverbs 20 in verse 25 says, it is a snare for a man to say rashly. It is holy and to reflect only after making his vows. In other words, yes, I'll take that conference. And then afterwards, it's like, oh, you dummy, why did you do that? I did this rashly. I did it rashly. I did it I did not take into consideration my calendar, my family, or my daughter's birthday. So you have to ask yourself, one of the key questions here is, am I being forced to make a decision with inadequate time? I had a huge job offer a number of years ago, right up my wheelhouse, right up my wheelhouse.

In fact, it was in radio. And I was offered a really neat deal. And I wanted it. I thought maybe God was leading me this way. And then I was told, we have to have a decision by the end of the week. And I said, can't do it. Well, why not? I'm not making a decision of this magnitude that quickly.

I'm sorry. I'm not going to do it. And so I couldn't make the decision that quick. I couldn't turn around the ship and deal with all the other obligations I had and dismiss them simply to take this. It wasn't God. It was a pushing and rather than a leading. So you have to ask yourself, are you being forced to make a decision with inadequate time? Proverbs 19 says, also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet heirs.

You need some time on these big decisions. And Proverbs 21-5, the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to want. Good wisdom, huh, from the Bible. Proverbs 14, 15, the simple believes everything, but the prudent looks where he is going. So a couple of questions to think about in this question number four. Is this someone may make it feel to you like, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity? Well, it was for me, but it was the wrong decision. It would have been a bad decision, and it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Don't let once-in-a-lifetime opportunities dictate your decision. Do you feel like you're going to miss out as if you are going to be passed by for this opportunity? That's not a good criteria for making a decision. I used to do that. I'll be honest with you. They'll never call me back. I've got to take that speaking engagement. They'll never call me back.

Well, maybe they never will. But I'm not missing my anniversary for this. Just a principle that I have. How does your experience play into the decision? This is a good one. Proverbs, get this. Proverbs 26 and verse 11 says, like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. So ask yourself, what's your experience in making this kind of a decision? Have you always

fallen into the pit when you made these kinds of decisions? Are you like a dog that returns to its vomit? We've got to be careful about how we make decisions here. There are patterns in our lives where we make poor decisions because we either want to be liked or wanted by someone or we have a fear that we're going to not have the finances, not have another opportunity, or that people will think we're shunning them. These are not reasons to say yes. The reasons to say yes are the peace of God, your vocation, your family, your time, your resources. What are you really called to? You know, I get asked to speak at conferences all the time that are so far out of my wheelhouse and my natural man just wants to say, yep, I'll do it. But my wife will say,

honey, you don't know anything about that. You know squat. Squat is Greek for nothing. Okay, I'm kidding. Don't tell your pastor that. But I know nothing about this topic. This is not my thing. I have to be willing to stand up and say no.

No. So that's really important. Take a look at your experience and how that plays in. Take stock of patterns in your life, triggers. Take into consideration how your family heritage might be a affecting this decision, you know? Did you make any vows when you were younger? I swear, I will never. And is this a part of fulfilling that or avoiding that? Hmm. Is it wanting to show your siblings that you're someone, that you're going to say yes to this decision? Bad decision.

Number five, anticipate the hurdles you will face and push back, and push back that you may encounter. So anticipate the hurdles you'll face the pushback that you'll encounter. Proverbs 22, 3 says a prudent man seeks danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it. So a prudent man sees danger and hides himself. In other words, he sees he's anticipating these hurdles, and he doesn't necessarily need to go through them. But sometimes hurdles are to be crossed as long as it's like, it's like, counting the cost, you know? If I say yes here, are there any hurdles in my way that are going to try to stop me? And if they try to stop me, is that God or is that not God in my life? Number six,

consider, this is really important, consider your reputation and witness. I know years ago, I talked to a guy who ended up losing literally everything. He lost his health, he lost his job, time, lost respect in his family. And it was over one decision on one night on a business trip where he made a decision to go with guys to a strip club. And there was a problem in going to the strip club because he made a mistake on how he paid for it. And he paid for it with a company card unknowingly. And that decision that he made had the biggest repercussion of any decision he'd made in his entire life because not only did it affect his reputation, it affected his job, everything. Consider your reputation and your witness.

Proverbs 109 says, he who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out. Proverbs 20 in verse 7, a righteous man who walks in his integrity, blessed are his sons after him. So ask yourself this big question, okay? If my decision were sent out on the social media network, would the Lord and my family be proud? It's a good question. If the decision I'm about to make was blasted out all over the internet, would my Lord and my family be proud? Very good question. Finally, number seven, these are keys on making good decisions. Number seven, don't wait for perfection. If you have to be perfect, you'll never accomplish what God is asking of you. Don't wait for

perfection because perfection is never going to come. I find that oftentimes the decisions that we make are made with good, good foundations and thinking it through, asking ourselves the question, is this the Lord's will for me? Is this in my wheelhouse? Is this in my wheelhouse? this what God is calling me to. How does it affect my family? What about my resources and my time? What about my fears of not doing it? And why would I say yes? Is this really good for me in terms of a moral decision? And even in the midst of all of that, there seems to always be just a little bit of fuzzy haze. That it's decisions can be a little bit scary. But the best that we can do is make a good decision and then live with that decision and go forward with joy and with a good

attitude. And if the Lord wants to bring about a correction later on, then that's fine. But you will be more satisfied with a good decision that's based on some of these criteria that I have mentioned in today's show than simply flipping the coin or saying, well, it feels right. It feels right. Oh, you know, I was a pastor for 12 years. And so. I can't tell you like people coming into a confessional because I've never been a priest, but I can tell you I was a pastor in my office was basically a confessional and how many people made the worst decisions and they had come back saying it just all felt right. It all felt right.

But when you begin to take it apart, you realize that was a bad decision. It might have felt right to you, but then I come to find out when I'm talking to the husband and wife, she was begging her husband, please don't take that job in the other state, what it's going to do to the children. And he made the decision based on his own desire, his own selfish desire, and the family prayed for it. On the other side of that, I can tell you about a wonderful eye doctor in Minnesota who heard me talking about this one time in the role of a husband to lead and guide his family and to make decisions that are based on the good for his children. and he moved from a small town to a beautiful place next to a thriving parish and later told my wife and myself when we went out to eat.

He said, I made the decision to move my family because we wanted to be by a wonderful church with great fellowship. He said it was harder for me professionally, but I did it for my children and he today has a quiver full of beautiful holy kids. See, that's what a good decision will do. Well, I hope that this has been helpful for you. It's certainly not an exhaustive list or anything like that, but I was sitting here thinking, I'm going to share these things with you because maybe you're facing a big decision coming up this year

about kids or your own life. And I wanted to give you some criteria. Let me know if it's helped. Give me an email. Write me at The Jeff Kaven Show at ascensionpress.com. And I'd love to hear your ideas for shows. and your feedback on this one or previous shows. And do know that I appreciate you.

I would say, I love you as my brother, my sister in the Lord, and I do pray for you. And I'd like to close out the show today with prayer and ask God to give you great wisdom with the decisions that you're about to make. And I'd love to hear the results. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord, we thank you today for giving us your word in the church

and all of the wise teachers in the church as we contemplate the decisions that we're about to make help us, Lord, to make a sound and solid decision based on good criteria, rather than just how we feel or circumstances or what appears to be just providential, that you want us to make decisions beyond feelings of providence, but sound decisions. And I lift up all my friends and ask you to move in their life today as they're listening to this. in their family, and guide and direct them to make that decision that will be fulfilling and fruitful in the kingdom of God. I ask for the prayers of our blessed mother, for all of my friends, Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the

fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death, amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Go out there, live the gospel to the fullest. Have a great week.