The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Stop Complaining: Don’t Be Doug and Wendy Whiner

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

Do you find yourself complaining often? In this two-part episode, Jeff shares some passages from the Old Testament about complaining, and relates our frustrations with the frustrations of the Israelites in the wilderness. Snippet from the Show “God thirsts that we would thirst for Him.” - St. Augustine Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

You're listening to the Jeff Kavens show, episode 236. Don't be Doug and Wendy Weiner in the wilderness. Hey, I'm Jeff Kavins. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general. It's the Jeff Kaven show.

Hey, thank you for joining me again. this week. I really do look forward to being with you every week. And all throughout the week, I'm thinking about some of the good things I'd like to share with you and some of the things I'm dealing with in my own life. And I think, wow, I think I'm going to share this with some of my good friends here. And so I do look forward to this every week. And I do appreciate your participation. When you go on to Apple or Google Play or wherever and you give comments or questions. I appreciate that. I really do. And I appreciate you sharing this show with other people. However, this show today is the first of two that I have entitled, Don't Be Doug and Wendy Weiner in

the Wilderness. And so we're going to have one show this week and then another show next week. And we're going to talk about this whole topic of whining and being a complainer. let me ask you this have you ever been on a text or email string where people do nothing but whine and complain it kind of brings you down doesn't it that's one thing i have learned about whiners and complainers is that if you are around them long enough you start whining and you start complaining and they don't just complain about one or two things i mean people are very creative in their complaining and they're whining, and they complain about everything. You know, politics, church life, church leaders, parish priest, politics, COVID, vaccine, weather. People love to complain.

And I think that people complain and whine because they somehow think that it's going to change things. But as my dad used to say to me growing up, he said, bub, a speeding ticket. is a complete waste of money. And since I have learned at the feet of my father growing up, I have learned that worrying and complaining and whining are an awful lot like speeding tickets. They absolutely get us nowhere. And in fact, we find that they set us back a bit,

whether it's money or time or friends, whatever it might be. And I think deep down inside, all of us would say, hey, I don't want to be that complainer. I don't want to be that guy, right? Hey, if you want the outline for these two podcasts, all you got to do is text my name, Jeff Kavens, and text it to this number, 3377. And if you do that, we will start giving you the emails every week with all the show notes. And we do give out a lot of show notes and a lot of scriptures in quotes. No complaining there. There's no whining among my listeners here because they know they get really, really good notes. We've got a good team that puts it all together. Okay, so you're asking right now, you're, you've already been Googling it,

who's Doug and Wendy Weiner? Well, they are a couple who were on Saturday night live, and it didn't matter what situation they got themselves into. They were winers. I remember one episode, they went into a bank and the bank was being held up and the robber is telling them to turn over their money and they're whining. I'm going, I don't know where I put my money and I lost it. And just everything was about whining. You know, they went a trip to New York and I don't like New York, you know, complaining and whining, do not be a Doug and Wendy whiner. The world doesn't need you, if you're going to whine, the world needs a truth and the world needs Jesus Christ. Well, you know, this is actually a true story here. A man told me, and this stuck with me all

these years. Well, before I tell you that, before I tell you that, let me tell you what we're going to do on this show, okay? On this episode, I'm going to introduce to you this whole concept of whining from the Old Testament, and I'm going to show you the 14 different ways that Israel wind in the wilderness. We're going to go through a few of them this week and they'll get the rest of them next week. This week, at the end of the show, I'm going to give you a very challenging exercise to put into practice to find out, are you, in fact, a whiner? And then after the show next week, I'm going to give you some, I think, some really good things to do to deal with it if the verdict is in. And yes, you are a whiner or a complainer. Back to the story that I was

going to tell you, this guy, he told me that he had considered becoming a priest all throughout his, you know, childhood years. And he would play Mass at home, you know, with bread and grape juice. And he really wanted to be a priest. But after 19 years of hearing his parents talk about the parish priest on the way home after Mass, he said, no way. I am not going to dedicate my life to this, if my own family feels this way about the priest, what if all the families felt that way? And he chose another career. That always stuck with me about how whining and complaining on a ride home from Mass stole a vocation in the church. That's pretty serious, I think. Well, what we're going to do here is I'm going to bring you back into Bible history for.

a little bit, and we're going to look at ancient Israel and their habit of whining. I'm going to bring you back to Exodus, where God brought his people out of brutal, brutal bondage. And he brought them out of bondage into, hopefully, a land flowing with milk and honey, the promised land, the reward, the goal, it's where we're heading to, right? It's the dot at the end of the map. Well, the one thing that dominated Israel's response to God's provision was complaining. And they did it in spades. In fact, between the Exodus and the promised land, there were 14 major examples of how they complained. Now, the catechism in the very first paragraph says that God has a plan of sheer goodness. He always has, he always will, he does right now for you and me. He has a plan of sheer goodness.

but Israel resisted that plan. Let me ask you, have you ever resisted the plan of sheer goodness that God has for you? Now, typically, the manifestation of this rebellion or this resistance is complaining, complaining against God, complaining against Moses, complaining against others that aren't even related to your situation. But here's the interesting thing that the Apostle Paul said. he said in 1 Corinthians chapter 10 verse 11 and I'm going to put it in the show notes for you he said now these things all this complaining that went on between bondage in the promised land he says now these things happen to them as an example and they were written for

our instruction upon whom the ends of the ages have come so i think that's pretty interesting that the apostle paul says that all these all these examples all these stories that were written in the Old Testament, are written as examples, and they're written for you, for your instruction. And so as we go through this, I want you to think seriously about how this might apply to you. And don't get into that rut, which I have done, I'll be honest with you, I've done this before, where I read a good book or I listen to a great talk or something, and I think, oh, oh, if my relative could only hear this. Oh, my boss was here. I sure think they would benefit from this. Don't listen to it for somebody else. Listen to it for yourself because truth be known.

It is for you. It is for you. And none of us are beyond correction. None of us are out there where we just don't need to listen to any kind of encouragement or correction in our life. So these were written for your instruction. Thus, we also see why we struggle so much with our own journey from slavery and sin to the promised land and freedom, to our inheritance in Christ. So let's see why God wanted us to observe their journey, what we can learn from the 14 times that they complained. Now, complaining is, as I said earlier, a waste of time because it is not going to accomplish, just like anger, it's not going to accomplish the righteousness of God. It's going to delay your freedom. It's going to delay your victory. It's going to delay

the truth in your life. And it's possibly going to weaken or wreck some relationships that you currently have. Now, out of the 14 tantrums that Israel had, aren't you glad we're not studying our own here and throwing that out for everyone to listen to on the podcast, out of the 14 tantrums, that Israel had, they're divided up into four sections. The first one is that out of the 14 tantrums, seven of them, that's half, were against Moses and the leadership. That's what they complained about the most. 50% of the complaining, 50% of the whining and the tantrums were dealing with the way we are being led, our leaders. I think that's kind of a convenient blame, to be honest with you. And we do it even to today. A lot of people spend a lot of time on text and emails

complaining about leadership. Okay, the second one that's the most in second place is complaining against God. And there's three times out of the 14 that the complaints are directed to God. And then in position three, water. And position four, in fourth place, it's food. So we've got leadership God, water, and food. That's how they're divided up. So let's take a look at them and see if we can't learn something from their experience. Take a honest look at our own lives. And at the end of this show, I'm going to give you an exercise to really determine whether you are a Dougger, Wendy, Weiner, or you are a winner, right?

You know, you are one who trust God and you don't get stuck in these ruts. I hope you don't, but if you're like me, from time to time, you need to check your own heart. I'll tell you what, when I come back from this break, I'm going to jump in with the first few of the examples of Israel whining and complaining in the wilderness. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show. When you're a busy mom, it can see. seem like God comes in second place to everything else. As Catholics, we know that God should be at the center of our lives. We know we should be planning around him instead of trying to plan him around our schedules.

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dot com slash plan around God. All right, are you ready to go? We're going to look at these 14, some of them this week, some of them next week. That's why there's just so much whining in the wilderness that it's going to take two shows to examine all of it. Now, the first one out of the 14, the first one starts very, very quickly. The moment that the idea comes up about a promised land and getting out of slavery, going into the wilderness to worship God, right away we've got whining. The people

complained to Moses that because of him and his talk of a promised land, Pharaoh has made things worse for them. They were doing okay. Yeah, they were tired to be enslaved, but now that we stirred up the hornet's nest, now things are really bad. And isn't it interesting that on the very beginning of marching towards the Holy Land, the Promise Land, I should say, moving into the Holy Land, the Promised Land, it starts off with major complaining. And that's in Exodus Chapter 5. What happened? They were given a quota every day of the number of bricks they had to make, wood, or clay bricks, and made out of straw and so forth, earth, water. And the minute this idea of leaving slavery and walking into freedom came up, well, the enemy, the Egyptians didn't like it so much.

And so what they did is they said, you know what, we're going to raise the quota on you guys, and you're going to have to find your own straw. We're not even going to provide that for you. And so, wow, at the very beginning, it's like, did we make the right decision here? The complaining begins, game on. So you have a conversion, let's say you have a conversion experience, and you give your life to God. then things start to look worse rather than better. Have you ever experienced that?

When I was a pastor for 12 years, I remember so many times trying to encourage people to give their life to God, and they did, and then about two or three weeks later, they said, I need to talk to you. I thought this was going to make my life better. My life is out of control now. Things have really gotten stirred up.

What do you expect? When you go from slavery to freedom, it's not going to just come easy. there are going to be battles. There's going to be things to overcome externally and internally. Your family's grumbling. Your associates at work are grumbling. You're not as fun as you used to be, right?

You were so much fun when you were in slavery. Wish you'd go back there and you're talking about this freedom thing and, well, you're just not the same person. And it's natural for people close to you to complain and measure your effectiveness. in light of your, quote-unquote, new thing, your God thing, your religion, and your relationship with God can become the target of their unhappiness and their anxiety and their irritable state. You can plan on that.

It's going to happen. But you have to be prepared for that, and you have to be prepared for the moment you move out to become like God and to walk in righteousness and to walk in His Word, you have to remember that there's an enemy that wants to stop you there, but the answer is not complaining. Again, it's not complaining. That isn't your answer. In fact, I think it would be good some days to just put on an index card. Complaining is not the answer today, Jeff. And carry it in your back pocket and pull it out five, ten, dozen times throughout the day. Number two, we carry on with this complaining and whining against Moses in the second one, where the people complain.

and said to Moses, you know, after they were pinned up against the, by the Egyptians, the Red Sea, Moses, leave us alone. Leave us alone. So they're out of the starting gate and they're beginning to leave now and suddenly the load that they are carrying seems to be even heavier. And this is frightening in many ways. Very, very frightening. And, and And they don't know what to do. And so what do they do? They complain against Moses. They complain against Moses.

And that's something that we have to be aware of on this journey from slavery to freedom is that when you first start off, it can be like, whoa, this is amazing. I've got this book. I got that Bible. I got these CDs. I watch Catholic TV and Catholic radio. and I'm going to this conference and that and this meeting, and all of a sudden it feels a little bit different

when the honeymoon goes away. And that's what happened to Israel here in Exodus chapter 14 in verses 11 and 12. Let me just grab here for a moment my becoming well-worn great-adventure Bible, which I am really coming to like. And if you don't have a great adventure Bible, You need to, well, I'll put it in the show notes, but get over to ascensionpress.com and grab yourself one of these Bibles that will actually help you read through the Bible in chronological order.

Okay, so we've got Exodus 14 and verse 10, when Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold the Egyptians were marching after them, and they were in great fear. And the sons of Israel cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have? taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt? Let us alone and let us serve the Egyptians. Wow. Wow. How quickly people want to go back because they're not used to resistance. They're not used to warfare. Oh man, this is harder than we thought it was going to be. maybe maybe you experience that right now maybe your new conversion isn't going so well at home or at work people can blame your interest in god as the reason that you're not doing so well and they amplify the

effect it is having on your family see this is when when people complain they begin to complain that your advice got them into the situation. And when asked to participate in church activity, you hear, let us alone. Leadership, stop telling me how to live. Get out of my bank accounts. Get out of my bedroom. Stop telling me what I should teach my children. Leave me alone. We can hear that. The third one changes from complaining against Moses to complaining about water. Yeah, something so basic as water. In Exodus 15, you'll read about this, and I'll put it in the show notes, the people complained about water, but not just water.

They first were complaining about water, and they didn't have water, but then when they found water, they found out that it was bitter water. And they really turned up the whining at that point. We got water, but it wasn't the water we wanted. This is bitter water. And you know what's interesting about this is that in salvation history, and I love the land of Israel. I go there every January and coming up this year, coming year. Father Mike Schmitz and I will be going to Israel in 2022 in June. You can go to my website to find out about that. But I love it so much because God uses the land in his teaching. So if you ever look through a concordance, and that gives you all of the words in the Bible,

and how many times they're used in their context. The mountains are spoken of 500 times, roughly. Rivers, 200 times roughly. The wind, 200. The sun, 150. Valleys, 200. Plains, 100. Trees, 300.

I could go on and on. But the interesting thing is, is that water, when you add up rivers, springs, and water, we see that water is mentioned over 1,000 times. And the reason is because in the land of Canaan, and certainly in the deserts of the Sinai Peninsula, where Israel is at, if you don't have water, you don't have life. And whoever has the wells and they know where the wells are, that's gold.

That's pure gold. And so water is a big deal. And if you're going to go out into the desert, one of the first questions you're going to have is, where's the water? Not where's the beef. Where's the water? Because we need water. So they begin to cry out.

We need water. And they get the water, but it's bitter water. It's bitter. And then what happens? They cry out to God. And the Lord comes through on this. And this is interesting. They could not find water.

And when they did, it was bitter. but when the Lord intervened, the bitterness was gone. There's a real lesson to be learned here, and that is that the wilderness without the Lord is bitter. I'll say that again, the wilderness without the Lord is bitter. Stop thinking that you have to figure everything out on your own. You American you, when God is with you, even in the wilderness, He can change the circumstances. He can give you exactly what you need. The change in people's lives has led to bitterness in Israel. And I would ask you, in all honesty, at this point in your life right now,

have the changes that have been going on in your life, whether it's your faith, whether it's your job situation, to children at school? COVID, COVID, COVID, is it led to bitterness? Has it led to bitterness? has it led to whining? When kids are encouraged to eat their spinach, you know, that look on their face, let's call that bitterness. I want what I used to have in bondage. You may even say to them, you know,

someone who says that, are you serious? You want to go back to that life? But what if the Lord was with us in this wilderness? Would this perceive bitterness change? Maybe. just maybe the cream of God in your coffee would change everything. And so when you find yourself in the wilderness and you feel like you want to complain, stop and really check the Lord in your life and his involvement in your life.

He can turn things around. I remember going on vacation as a kid. Perhaps you do too, going to the Black Hills or to a national park. out in Wyoming, or going out to the Ozarks in Missouri on vacation, everything is so exciting. You are looking forward to it. You're going to buy that little leather coin pouch at that place on the side of the road, you know, and you're going to get the drums, and you're going to get some moccasins. You're so excited.

You've been saving your money. But everything goes south. When? When you leave the driveway? And you begin that vacation, and you begin to complain. about who your sister's sitting on a side and her hand is coming over on your side and then on the airplane you didn't get the window seat and the food that was awful and the hotel give me a break mom and dad it doesn't have a swimming pool or if it does it's out of order and you're not close to a

mall and you're stuck having to go to the museum of natural science instead of six flags yeah how to complaining. Number four, the people complained about being hungry, hungry. Again, we're back to some of the basics. You know what I think of? By the way, this is Exodus 16. They're complaining about food and God gives them, he gives them manna. He gives them manna. Thank you, God. Thank you. I wanted some steak and lobster, which by the way, would not have been kosher. So steak and falafel, But we ended up with this manna, what is it? What is it? What are you feeding me in the middle of this wilderness?

Mana. Mana, in Hebrew means, what is it? My portion, what is this? And so it reminds me so much of what God said to Israel in the wilderness, which is good for me to remind you and for me to remind me. And that is that the scripture says that God brought you out of bondage to show you in this wilderness. Listen to this. That man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

I think in some ways, this was ingenious of God. To get Israel to become like him, to become disciples of God, followers of God, to take on God. the only way he could have really have done this is to bring them to a place where they were separated from every luxury that they thought they had. And they cried out for deliverance in that quote-unquote

luxury they used to have. He brought them out into a place where there was going to be a stark distinction between what they had and what God is going to give them right now, manna, because he wants them to learn that you don't live by bread alone.

It isn't the flesh pots and the leaks and the onions and the garlic that you came from, you can live by every word that proceeds out of my mouth. And it also reminds me so much of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. And Eve, when she looked at the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in Genesis 3, 6, one of the things she noticed about it was it looked tasty. And being tasty, beautiful, and makes one wise. Those three things are what brought down our first parents.

you see food has an amazing an amazing pull on your life we we talk about food we plan our schedules around food we plan our holidays around food our celebrations are in-between meals we even have snacks in mind we are a people who put our bellies first and god brought them out into a place where that couldn't happen. And if you're there right now in your life and you're, you say, I'm at a place in my life where I cannot satisfy myself the way I used to in terms of things and food and possessions, you just may be exactly where God wants you right now because he's more interested in changing your heart. Now, those are four. We've got 10 more next week we're going to go through. But on this conclusion, let me ask you this. Let's do this as an exercise.

for this coming week, shall we? Take some time this week to look at your heart and the topic of whining and complaining. What areas of your life, and I'll put this in the show notes, what areas of your life do you think you complain about more? There's 10 of them. What areas of your life do you think you complain about more? Marriage, work, money, children, politics, COVID, vaccines, extended family, neighbors, food, health and wellness. Do you complain about these things? Second of all, who in your life would you be most fearful of if you were to ask them about your whining ways? I know if we ask your kids, we're going to get some pretty honest answers. In the areas above, those 10, which I'm going to put in the notes, what would you

guess, this is number three, what would you guess Jesus would say about these things to counter your complaining? Just give it a guess. What would he say about neighbors or money or work? You might be surprised about how much you know. Next week, I'll wrap this up and give you some things to do to get life on a new path as we look into more ways that Israel was whining in the wilderness. God bless you and have an amazing week as you look at these issues.