The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - Suck It Up Buttercup: Men Who Know How to Suffer

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

Is there a benefit to suffering? What’s the point? Today, Jeff explains the purpose of suffering and shares some ways we can use it to not only grow closer to Christ but to help our loved ones do the same. Snippet from the Show “Suffering is almost inseparable from man’s earthly existence.” - St. Pope John Paul II (Salvifici Doloris) Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit ascensionpress.com/thejeffcavinsshow for full shownotes!

You're listening to the Jeff Kavana show, episode 224. Suck it up, Buttercup, men who know how to suffer. Hey, I'm Jeff Kavans. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general. It's the Jeff Kaven Show.

Well, I heard. those words, suck it up buttercup years ago, and it never went away. I still remember it from high school on a football coach who looked at me and said, suck it up, buttercup. And I was, I was shaken at that point. What do you mean suck it up buttercup? I'm a man. I can run with the ball. I can knock down people. The coach saw me doing some things where he had to remind me, you can do it. Now, I want you to know that this show today isn't really just for men. It's for women as well. But I thought I would highlight it for men because of Father's Day. And so often we need to be reminded of how to really be men. And there is so much suffering in the world. And men face so much suffering, whether it's at home or their

neighbors or extended family at work, whatever it might be, your health. There are so many things that men face these days, and I want to teach you today how to deal with the suffering in your life. I honestly don't think that men are innately good at suffering. Oftentimes, people who suffer will begin to draw attention to themselves and come up with excuses as to why I can't be a father, why I can't be a husband, why I can't come into work. And I think it's really something that we need to learn as men. But by the way, this is for women as well, but I'm going to be focusing on men due to Father's Day. So I've been looking forward to this for quite some time. Before I get into that, I just want to remind you that coming up in June of 2022, Father Mike Schmitz and I are

going to be leading a pilgrimage to the Holy Land in June of 2022. And Father Mike and I are going to be joined by Andrew and Sarah Swofford, singers Allie Aaliyah, Taylor Tripodi, and more. And if you're interested in going to Israel with us and having really a trip of a lifetime, Father Mike and myself will be there everyday teaching and spending time with you. Simply go to my website, jeffcavens.com, and you can get all the information. It's going to be the trip of a lifetime. Okay, so let's talk about suffering today and learn as men how to, how to really suffer the way Christ suffered.

And I have to ask you a question, you know, what is the benefit of suffering? Is there a benefit to suffering? Is there meaning to your suffering as men? Well, there is. There is. I love the quote. St. José Maria Esgrava said, and he was the founder of Opus Day, he made a wonderful statement when he said, he said that suffering overwhelms you because you take it like a coward,

meet it bravely with a Christian spirit, and you will regard it as a treasure. There's a lot there, isn't there? First of all, he's saying that suffering overwhelms you. Why? Because you take it like a coward. You're not facing it. You're not dealing with the truth and dealing with suffering the way Jesus did. And he says, you need to meet it bravely as men with a Christian spirit.

And if you do that, you're going to regard all of your suffering as a treasure. Now, before we go on any further, that quote and all the Bible verses that I'm going to be sharing with you today are going to be in the show notes. And if you don't get the show notes, get them. All you've got to do is write my name, one word, Jeff Kavins, and text it to the number 33777. It's very easy. Jeff Kavins to 33777. you'll get the show notes for this show, as well as all the ones in the future. Well, years ago, there was one text, men, that really fouled me up, and I couldn't make heads or

tales of it, and it dealt with suffering, and I just didn't know what to do with it. And it was Colossians 1-24, where Paul said to the Colossians, he said, Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh, I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body. That is the church. Now, that statement from Paul caused me to derail on a couple of points. One, he says, I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake. Now, I thought to myself, well, that's Paul, but that certainly can't be me. I've never been one to rejoice in the midst of my sufferings. I've usually been the one to complain in my sufferings. And I wish Paul, frankly, would have written that. I wish he would have said, I complain in my sufferings,

and other people come to my aid. Because that's usually the narrative in our lives as men, isn't it? But he says, I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake. No, why in the world would Paul rejoice in his sufferings? But then the second thing he says that caused me some consternation is he said, I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is the church. So what in the world could be lacking in the sufferings of Christ? Seriously? Are you kidding me, Paul? What could be lacking? Did Jesus come and live a full life and die and was buried and then he rose from the dead and then he got to the right hand of the father and said, Oi, they, I only got 95% of it. What are we going to do now? God the Father says,

well, we're just going to have to get the other 5% from the church. No, that's not what happened, is that Jesus paid 100% the price for your sin, for your sanctification, and for your heavenly destiny. He paid it all, didn't he? So what could possibly be lacking in the sufferings of Christ? Well, St. Augustine answered that question when he said, What is lacking in the sufferings of Christ is the sufferings of the mystical body of Christ. The mystical body of Christ. That's us. That's the church.

And that's what St. Augustine said is that that's what's, frankly, missing. Jesus did it all. But there is a part for us to play. And that was really made real to me years later when John Paul II, he talked about this. And he said, what's lacking in the sufferings of Christ? Nothing. But that you might come to know the love of Christ. He has made room in his suffering for you to participate.

Now imagine that. God says, I'm going to make room in my suffering, in my redemptive suffering. I'm going to make room for you to participate. Now, why would I want to participate in the suffering? And the answer is because, listen, men, so that you will come to know the love of God, that you will truly know the love of God. John Paul II also said suffering is almost inseparable. a man's earthly existence. It's, it's there in so many different ways. And I love

Salvifichi Dolores, his small document, and you should get that. You really should, man. That should be kind of part of your, your combat equipment here. Salvifichi Dolores, the meaning of human suffering. He says in there that there are two kinds of suffering, and every single one of you, men and women, who are listening to this show today, have experienced both kinds of suffering. The first kind that he talks about is physical suffering. That's when the body's hurting. If you had COVID-19, maybe you had a fever. That's physical suffering. When I was a kid growing up, I broke my left arm five times in five different incidences. That was suffering. That first time I broke my left arm, I was hit behind by a guy and did a backflip and came down on my shoulder and

broke my upper arm. And I went home running with the right arm pumping like crazy, crying, couldn't wait to get home. And my left arm was flailing because it was completely broken. That was suffering. The good news is, though, is my parents bought me a brand new hot wheels set. So there was something good that came out of it, at least. So that's physical suffering. And you know what that is. It could be cancer. It could be a cold. Whatever it might be. We've all experienced it. And the second kind of suffering that John Paul II talks about is moral suffering. Now, this is, in the words of John Paul II, this is oftentimes worse.

It's moral suffering. It's when the soul hurts. It's when you are hurt inside. You have been betrayed. You have lost someone. You've been gossiped about. You're struggling with depression, anxiety over. so many issues, moral suffering. And let's be honest, if you had a choice between moral suffering

or physical suffering, most of us would choose physical suffering. I'd rather have a broken leg than a broken heart any day. And I know that's true with you men. I know that to be true. So there was two kinds of suffering. And, you know, in the Old Testament, it's filled with examples of suffering, particularly moral suffering, the danger of death, the death of a child, fertility, longing for the homeland of Israel, the temple, mockery, scorn, loneliness, and abandonment, difficulty, understanding why the wicked prosper, the unfaithfulness of friends and neighbors, so much suffering in the Old Testament. But Jesus had compassion on people with both kinds of suffering. Now, I mentioned two kinds of suffering, but then John Paul II says there

are two types of suffering. He says that there's temporal suffering, and that's due to the consequences of sin. There is suffering. There's illness. There's death. And all of us are a part of that. We all experience this temporal suffering in our life. But then, listen to this, guys. Then he talks about a second type of suffering, a suffering that he calls definitive suffering. John Paul II says, man perishes when he loses eternal life. So the opposite of salvation is not therefore only temporal suffering and a kind of suffering, but the definitive suffering is the loss of eternal life being rejected by God damnation. The only begotten son was given to humanity primarily to protect man against this definitive evil and against definitive suffering.

My word, guys, we, you do not, trust me, you do not want to experience definitive suffering. Oh, the anguish of those who suddenly realize after they have died that they are lost. Oh, at that point you would have said, you would say, I'd do anything, anything to get out of this definitive suffering. Anything? Would you really? Well, let's talk about it. You know, inevitably, man will ask that number one question. Why suffer? Why me? But you know that the answer to that is not found merely in philosophy or talk shows on the Internet or on television or psychologists and pop formators. You're not going to find it there most likely. You won't find it on Oprah and you're not going to find it on any of the other shows. Dr. Phil cannot answer this question in the way that we can as believers. Not that he's not a believer, but I'm saying

that you're typically not going to hear it on the shows. So what is the meaning of suffering? well I know this if you can't find meaning in the suffering you're going through right now guys and think about it for a moment what are you going through right now that is physical suffering and moral suffering the suffering of the heart what are you going through you might even want to pause this and just think about it for a moment take stock what are you going through well listen if you cannot find meaning in your suffering guess what happens you go into despair you go into despair, a lack of trust in God, and you find yourself falling and falling into this empty crevasse. No hope. But, listen, guys, if you can attach meaning to your suffering,

you can go through anything. I know that. You can go through anything, and there is value attached to your suffering. It isn't that you're suffering, and I'm just going to gut it out, God, and I'm just going to believe that somehow, some way, something good is going to happen. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about joining our lives with Christ. We know that the meaning of our suffering is found in his suffering. And I'm going to talk to you about that right after this. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show.

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we see every week at Mass. It explains with clarity the symbolic realities and historical facts of each one. To order the sacred that surrounds us visit ascensionpress.com or Amazon. Talking about finding meaning in our suffering, one of the greatest things I could ever tell you,

this is episode 224, one of the greatest things I could ever tell you of all the episodes is that the meaning of your suffering is found in the meaning of his suffering. Do you remember that great text in Luke chapter 24, we call it the Emmaus Road, where we had these men, these people walking on the Emaeus road, and they were going away from Jerusalem after Jesus suffered and died. He was buried. They weren't aware that he was resurrected. They didn't have any firsthand evidence of it.

And we see them walking away from Jerusalem, disappointed, disillusioned men without joy and without hope. They were suffering. Maybe you could have been one of those men walking away, disappointed. Maybe you are disappointed. They were disillusioned. Maybe you are disillusioned. They didn't have any joy or hope.

Maybe you don't today. But what's interesting is that these men were walking down the road of despair. Now, there's evidence that there might be a husband-wife team in this group. But they were walking, whether it's men or whether it's men and women walking. They were walking down the road of despair complaining, complaining to him about himself, about Jesus. He said, we, he says, what are you guys talking about? And they said, are he serious? Are you the only one in Jerusalem who hasn't heard what just happened?

What happened, guys? About Jesus, the Nazarene. He was crucified. We had hoped. We thought he would redeem us. He's been killed and crucified. They say he is not in the tomb, but we haven't seen him. And that really epitomizes people who don't understand.

the meaning of suffering. What is interesting about this, Emaeus wrote experience is that Jesus gave the most amazing Bible study in world history as he began to talk to these individuals walking away from Jerusalem and he said, it says that Jesus addressed them and he addressed their suffering by how? By explaining his. And what we literally from this is that there is only one means to endure our suffering, and that is to understand his. And he said right there in Luke chapter 24 that he began in the Old Testament, and he taught them, he taught them all about himself in the Old Testament, and that suffering was necessary. It was necessary. It was at the center of his messianic mission, that he would

suffer. Hebrews chapter 5 and verse 8, it'll be in the note says, although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And Paul later on, he caught on to this. Not only did he write, you know, the, the Colossians, as I read at the top of the show in Colossians 124, but he wrote to the Corinthians and 2 Corinthians 1.5, and he said, for as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ, we share abundantly in comfort to. You see, he paid the price for our souls and our sanctification through suffering. I would encourage you today, if you're driving right now, maybe you don't have one available, unless it's hanging from your car somewhere, a crucifix.

And I've often asked myself, guys, what is love? And you've experienced that traditional ooey-gooey-love feeling, you know, you looked at her, and you were attracted to her and found yourself in love with her. and so you got married. And there was a certain feeling to that love, wasn't there? Yeah, and sometimes that goes away. It can go away. But real love is not based on feelings.

If you want to know what real love is, listen, guys, if you want to know what real love is, look at a crucifix, that's how love feels. That is how love feels. I'm not saying there aren't the good times, the honeymoon. I'm not saying that everything is going to, is going to be great. But there are times in your life as men where things are not going the way you planned. And it could be in your marriage or your children. It could be at work. It could be your health. But you men are called

to walk in love. You are called to live as Christ live. And Jesus said something so powerful about that crucifix as you look at that crucifix maybe go to a holy hour and you gaze upon the cross that's love and that's what you are called to in your family that's what the that's the kind of love you are called to in your marriage and in being a father and father's day but it isn't simply a concept that relates to christ it is a concept of suffering that is related to your life as well Matthew 16, then Jesus told his disciples, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world

and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? That's a very powerful thing where Jesus, you know, when he talks about this idea of Christianity and following him, he says that if you want to follow him, guys, if you want to follow him, pick up your cross and follow me. Suck it up, Buttercup. Pick up your cross. Suffer like a man. Suffer like Christ.

Love like Christ. You can do it. This is more serious than my football coach in high school telling me, suck it up, Buttercup. get back in there and put your head down the stakes are much greater now it's not just a matter of making varsity it's not just a matter of being the the starting running back it's not just a matter of winning home the homecoming game it's eternal life suck it up buttercup it's time to walk as men and offer up your suffering have you ever heard that before offer it up i heard it growing up i didn't know what it meant when we say offer it up what we're saying is that you have an opportunity

to offer up your suffering in union with Jesus Christ. Now, remember, the meaning of suffering is hidden in Jesus Christ, his love for you. But he makes it such that you in your suffering have an opportunity to be a part of his suffering. He opens the door for you to participate in it. That means you can either participate with your suffering in him, or you can just feel sorry for yourself. John Paul II also said he said, in the cross of Christ, not only is the redemption accomplished through suffering, but also human suffering itself has been redeemed. That is great news. Human suffering itself,

your suffering, guys, has been redeemed. It has been purchased. It is valuable. You possess in your suffering an amazing coin that can purchase what cannot be bought. That's how valuable suffering is that if you offer up your suffering in union with Christ, your suffering is changed. It becomes redemptive coin. And he went on and he said, it is suffering more than anything else. Get this. This is a pope. This is a saint now. He says, it is suffering more than anything else, which clears the way for the grace which transforms human souls. You want to be transformed men? Do you want to be changed? Do you want to live a new life? Then it's suffering more than anything else which is going to clear the way for the grace of God which transforms your life.

Paul went through suffering and he even talked to the Lord about it and say, hey, get me out of this. And the Lord said in 2 Corinthians 12, 9, Paul, buddy, come here. I want you to know something. my grace is sufficient for you for power is perfected in weakness guys you feel powerless do you feel weak i want you to know something that it's in that place of weakness that god's grace his life his power is sufficient for you guess what if you'll offer up your weakness and you'll offer up your suffering and union with christ then the power will be perfected in that that weakness. The power of God will be perfected in that weakness. And so how do you offer it up? Well, it's real, real difficult. Very difficult. Not so much. How do you offer it up? I call it the Nike move.

Just do it. Don't look for a very difficult way. Don't look for all kinds of Latin statements and all kinds of formulas and this, that, this, and if you do this for 30 days, no. No. Today, you can say, will, that's every man has a will. I'm going to offer up my suffering in union with Christ. I'm going to love my children and I'm going to love my spouse. I'm going to love my coworkers. I'm going to love them with the love of Christ. Very powerful.

Paul said to the Romans, we are fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. He says, I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us. Guys, the suffering that you're going through right now is not worth comparing to the glory that awaits you. It's the decision that you make today that will make the difference. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop drawing attention to yourself. Stop.

negative comments about yourself. Stop blaming other people. Offer it up in union with Christ. And you know what you're going to find? You're going to find a peace that passes all understanding. Now, listen to this from John Paul II. I absolutely love it. I would say that it's one of my all-time favorite quotes. He says, the springs of divine power gush forth precisely. in the midst of human weakness. You need some divine power gushing up in your life in the midst of your weakness. And then he goes on and says,

those who share in the sufferings of Christ preserved in their own sufferings a very special particle of the infinite treasure of the world's redemption and can share this treasure with others. Pause, time out, guys, did you hear that? You have an opportunity now in your suffering. You've been given a particle of the infinite treasure,

of the world's redemption. And guess what? You can share this treasure with others. You can love your wife. You can love your children. You can love the coworkers in your life. How? By offering up this suffering for your daughter, for your wife, for your son, for your grandchildren. Guys, this is powerful. This is amazing. This is amazing. Man. Peter says, said, for to this you have been called, men, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin, no guile was found on his lips. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he suffered, he did not threaten, but he trusted to him who judges justly. Guys, not only do we offer up our suffering to God,

but we entrust ourselves to him. John Paul II said, down through the centuries and generations, it has been seen that in suffering there is concealed a particular power that draws a person interiorly close to Christ a special grace. And so, I would say to you once again, as St. Jose Maria Escrivas said, suffering overwhelms you because you take it like a coward. meet it bravely with a Christian spirit and you will regard it as a treasure. It's valuable.

Suck it up, Buttercup. You can do it. The name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord, I lift up to you, my friends, particularly the guys listening. And I pray, Lord, that you would give them the strength to face the suffering in their life like you did, O Lord, and to love through their suffering, and to help them never, ever to lose sight of the value of suffering. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, really I look forward to seeing you next week.