The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - When Doves Cry: Seeking Validation

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

So many people walk through life constantly seeking validation. Are you one of them? Jeff reminds us that if we feel unaffirmed or unappreciated, we will seek validation somewhere—money, relationships, our work. But it’s only when Christ and our Heavenly Father validate us that we can be confident in our true worth. In today’s episode, Jeff addresses several unhealthy ways we might be seeking validation and shares wisdom to help us find our true identity and worth in Christ. SHOWNOTES *Quotes from the Show * Matthew 19:5 - “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.” Prince: When Doves Cry - “How can you just leave me standing? Alone in a world that's so cold (so cold) Maybe I'm just too demanding. Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold. Maybe you're just like my mother. She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied). Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like, when doves cry.” John 12:42-43 - “Nevertheless many even of the authorities believed in him, but for fear of the Pharisees they did not confess it, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.” Matthew 20:1-16 - “For the kingdom of heaven is like a householder who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And going out about the third hour he saw others standing idle in the market place; and to them he said, ‘You go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour, he did the same. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing; and he said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You go into the vineyard too.’ And when evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last, up to the first.’ And when those hired about the eleventh hour came, each of them received a denarius. Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it they grumbled at the householder, saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you, and go; I choose to give to this last as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.” How Does God Validate Us? He Made Us In His “Image And Likeness” (Genesis 1:27) Zephaniah 3:17 - “The Lord your God is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing” *He Loves Us Even When We Sin * John 3:16 - “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” He Is Always On Your Side Romans 8:31 - “What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who is against us?” He Has Placed Us In His Family The Church ** **God Commends Us, We Don’t Commend Ourselves 2 Corinthians 10:18 - “For it is not the man who commends himself that is accepted, but the man whom the Lord commends.” Ultimate Validation Comes From God, Not Others Proverbs 25:27 - “It is not good to eat much honey, so be sparing of complimentary words.” *He Is Eagerly Waiting To Reward Us * Matthew 6:16-18 - “And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Resources Email Jeff: [e-mail] Visit the Museum of the Bible Get Jeff’s Shownotes by texting “jeffcavins” to 33-777 How to Pray Like Mary by Sonja Corbitt June Trip: “2020 Vision” Young Adult Pilgrimage

You're listening to the Jeff Kaven Show, episode 138, when Doves Cry, seeking validation. Hey, I'm Jeff Kavans. How do you simplify your life? How do you study the Bible? All the way from motorcycle trips to raising kids, we're going to talk about the faith and life in general. It's the Jeff Kaven Show. And welcome to the show again. I'm so happy to be here with you and to share the good things of the kingdom of God once again. You know, it's amazing how many times I think about this show every week in writing down notes and ideas with you in mind. Because I love getting together with you.

I really do. And I enjoy this relationship that we have riding in your car, you know, late at night, early in the morning on the way to work, on the way home from work, maybe on the back porch, on vacation, listening in earbuds. while the world is going by listening to other things. It's good to be with you. Have you ever been frustrated when you didn't feel validated? Have you ever felt like you're not affirmed by the people at work in that committee you're on and they're not taking your ideas and you feel constantly rejected? What about within your family? Do you not feel affirmed or validated in the role you play with your siblings? Or what about in your marriage? Do you not feel validated? in your marriage? Are you looking to your spouse to validate you and affirm who you are at your

core? I have noticed throughout the years that there's a lot of problems with this and there's a lot of funny ways of acting when we're not validated. And I want to share with you some ideas about this today when doves cry seeking validation. You're thinking to yourself right now. It's got to have something to do with prints. Well, it does. It does. I'm going to get to that in a moment. Hey, this last week was a big week. I was in Trenton, New Jersey, Newark, New Jersey, wonderful people out there. I want to thank them. And the ministry of cemeteries out there in both diocese came together and sponsored a couple of events, and I was able to talk about the activated disciple, and I just want to thank you all for doing that. The weekend was capped off

in Washington, D.C. on Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, I did the entire Bible timeline in a day, and then I repeated it again on Sunday. Yeah, my voice might sound like that, right? I did both days at the Museum of the Bible in Washington, D.C. This is an amazing museum. It's just a couple blocks off the mall by the Washington Memorial there. And the Greens from Hobby Lobby, they bought this this place and made it into just a superb museum, I really enjoyed going through it. And I would suggest that if you go to Washington, make it a part of your pilgrimage, make it a part of your vacation, and visit the Museum of the Bible. Had two wonderful, wonderful audiences. In fact, I'll put some pictures in the show notes for you of this epic event. And I think we're going to

do more of them in the future. So stay tuned to ascensionpress.com. And we're going to announce some of those. Some people have been asking about the show notes. Yeah, you can get the show notes. I'll give you all the scriptures I talk about free. Okay, I'm going to give them to you absolutely everything. Just give it to you. And we've come up with a new way for you to receive the notes. If you're currently receiving every week the show notes, you're good to go. But if you do not receive the show notes at this point, then what you can do is you can text Jeff Kavens. That's one whole big were with no Jeff Space Cavans, but just Jeff Kavans. And you can text the number 33777.77. I like that. 33-777. 3-3-7-7 for Trinity, seven for covenant, right? 3-3-7-7. Just text Jeff Kavans, and you're going to be

on the list. You're good to go at that point. So we'll get the notes to you. Well, to our subject at hand, this is going to be a big show. This is going to be a full show. I want to get into this with you, because the more I talk to people, and I was a pastor for 12 years, so I know somewhat of what I'm talking, something of what I'm talking about here. But the more I talk to people, the more I realize that so much of life, whether at work or home or neighbors or extended family, is kind of a silent tug-of-war. You know, it's kind of a silent give and push to find out how important we are in the eyes of other people. Now, spoiler alert, I'm going to show you how God affirms you at the end here. But I think we need to take a look at some of the unhealthy ways that we try to

find our validation. And what I'm sharing with you, I have struggled with in my own life. You know, when I was younger, I constantly wanted to know, am I doing okay? And do you like me? And it can become a real trap. It really can. Oftentimes, problems come in when we're not validated, when we're not affirmed by family friends or colleagues. And there's all kinds of nonverbal and verbal responses to not being validated by others, which dig us into a deeper hole, and we really don't want to be there. At the heart of it, we all want to be loved. At the heart, we all want to be validated. At the heart, we all want to be affirmed for who we are and the contribution. that we make and that we're handsome or pretty or smart or witty or effective,

valuable to a team. We all want that. Let's face it. Anybody that says they don't want any of that, that's just not true. To validate something really is to give official sanction, isn't it? To validate you, I'm giving you official sanction. I'm confirming you or I'm approving of you. And what makes you feel like you have value or worth is the validation that you receive. Now, here's an interesting principle, and I think that this is very, very true. If you are not validated by Christ, if you don't feel validated by your Heavenly Father, that you are affirmed and that you are confirmed and that you are sanctioned and that you are worth something, if you're not validated by Christ, if you're not validated by our Father, there will be some measure.

by which you are validated. And you will be the one that imposes that measurement. It could be money. It could be a position. It could be public endorsement, right? It could be standing side by side with someone and walking a picture with them, whatever it might be. You're going to come up with some measurement by which you can measure your validity. in this world. If it's not by Jesus, our Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, the Blessed Trinity, you're going to find some measurement by which you are validated. Now, the problem comes in in a number of categories, and I can just list these for you, and I think you'll say, wow, that's really true. And then we'll get into when Doves cry. In marriage, for example,

a husband and wife, when a husband places the responsibility on his wife, to validate him. Or a wife puts on her husband the responsibility to validate her, we're going to run into a lot of problems. Because when you get married and you say, I do, and the two become one flesh, you are becoming one as covenant partners to reflect the love of God. But still, each of you have to look to your Heavenly Father to validate you and to find that real sense of worth. Yes, there is some validation. Yes, there is some sense of worth in your wife or your husband and their comments and their actions toward you. But how often do we find ourselves in a position in marriage where we're not feeling that validity? We're not feeling that affirmation. And that's when

we begin to act out against each other. And so we are told in the early parts of Genesis that a husband shall leave his mother and father, shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one. They shall become one. Now, before people get married, oftentimes they have looked to other people. Before they got married, they look to other people to validate them, a boss, someone in the neighborhood, extended relative, mom or dad, sibling, cousin, whatever it might be, teacher, right, priest, bishop, whatever, and they didn't get it. they didn't get it. And they are still looking for that validation. And now they start to look at it in their spouse. But it's interesting, we are called in Genesis to leave, cleave, and become one with

our new spouse. But oftentimes people don't leave their past behind. They're still looking for validation outside of Christ. And they begin to look for it in their spouse. And that can cause all kinds of fighting and all kinds of disruptions, and their children are caught in the middle. Their children are caught in the middle, and that has something to do with this idea of when doves cry, they are caught in the middle. Just recently, in fact, it's this week, I believe, at the time of this podcast, is the 35-year anniversary of Purple Rain by Prince. Now, I know that a lot of you are big fans of Prince. know, I think he was, in many ways, you know, he was a genius in music for sure. And I know that

many of you grew up in the generation of Prince. Well, I not only grew up in the generation of Prince, I grew up with Prince. I am from Chan Hassan, Minnesota. And Chanhassen, Minnesota is where Paisley Park is. That's where Prince did all the music, and that's where he died. In a little village west of the Twin Cities, it wasn't unusual to see Prince riding around a bicycle. even year or two before he died. He loved being kind of in that place of anonymity, you know, in a small village on the western sides. He grew up in Minneapolis.

Purple Rain was actually shot in Minnetonka, a suburb, just close to where I'm at. And it's really interesting because he came from a very difficult background. And the producer of Purple Rain was Albert Magnoli. And it was his first big film. And in 1984, that film came out, that big rock musical drama, starring the kid, you know, who was played by Prince. And Albert McNally came to Prince during the filming of Purple Rain, and he said,

I need one more song from you. I need one more song. And the song has to, it has to be something about your mother and your father. And the great stress that was between your mother and father and how this affected you in your life. And Prince said to Magnoli, he said, okay, I'll do it. I'll give you one more song here. And of course, Albert thought that Prince was going to take four, five, six weeks, I suppose to get a good song to him. But it was the next day that Prince turned in the song to Albert Magnoli when Doves cry. Now, in that song, it conveys by Magnoli's own declaration, the relationship between Prince's parents and how the effect it had on him and the effect it had on him in other relationships. And part of the lyrics to this reflect what I would say is the perspective of a child in the midst of mother and father fighting, trying to be validated either by people at work or one another

or family members or the will of their parents. In the words, say, how can you just leave me standing alone in a world that's so cold? Maybe I'm just too demanding. Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold. Maybe you're just like my mother. She's never satisfied. She never is satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when doves cry. And those words are very powerful in some ways because what he's saying is that I am demanding and you, maybe you're like my mother. She was never satisfied. We scream at each other. and maybe this is what it sounds like when doves cry. And I'm wondering if sometimes your children will hear mother and father arguing and yelling and screaming and demanding just like Prince's parents.

And you as a child are in the midst of it and you're quiet, but it hurts and it's confusing and you don't know what to do. And you don't know that mom and dad are seeking validation. You don't know that. dad comes home drunk or and yells at mom and there's pushing and shoving and you're thinking, I can't believe what's happening. And you run to your room and you cry. This is what it sounds like when doves cry. You see, the validating process in our lives has an impact on other people. It really does. In school, our youngsters, our teens are our junior high and high school kids, even in college, seeking validation in social media. Seeking validation in social media not finding it. Maybe they do act out in a big way, but maybe it's like when doves cry and

there's that quiet anxiety and that feeling of loneliness that they're not validated. Politicians are strong, aren't they? Politicians have their quote-unquote platform. I will push my platform, but oftentimes we find in politicians, whether on the left or the right or the middle, the issues are not the important thing. Uh-uh. Being validated. Being validated, too. Maybe that's a whole other category, but they're not, they're seeking validation and they're seeking re-election.

They got to know that I'm somebody, and this is how I'm going to validate myself. There's going to be arguing in debates. and you and I might be caught in the middle. Maybe that's what it sounds like when doves cry. In work and business, oftentimes we bring it home and problems. Problems ensue. You know, it could be like someone sitting in a business meeting and you're sitting there very quietly, like a dove, you're sitting there very quietly and you give ideas of what you should do in the company and you speak up and you give examples and everything else. And then the quarterly report comes out. and your ideas weren't in there. Your example wasn't in there, and you're thinking, you know, what

am I? Chop liver. Doesn't anybody, you know, respect what I'm saying, and you might feel very non-validated, right? And then that can come out in really squirly ways at work. But if you are validated by the highest validator in the world, Jesus Christ, God our Father, everything else can find its proper place. But if you do not feel that validation from your heavenly father, you can act out in so many different ways. Listen to what it says in John chapter 12 in verse 42. Nevertheless, many even of the authorities believed in him. But for fear of the Pharisees, they did not confess it. So they would not be put out of the synagogue. For they, listen, to this. Oh, wow, this is good. Listen, verse 43, John 12, for they love the glory that comes from man

more than the glory that comes from God. I'll say that again, for they love the glory. Let's put the word validation in there, shall we, affirmed. For they love the validation and affirmation that comes from man more than the validation and affirmation that comes from God. God. Now, when you love the validation and affirmation from men rather than God, what's going to happen is that fear enters in and your actions and what you say are not your honest actions and words, but they are actions and words that seek after the glory of man rather than the glory of God. This, my friend, keeps us from evangelization. This keeps us. This need for for validation of our fellow man, that keeps us from speaking the truth in love because we're

thinking I'll be rejected, I'll be nobody. I won't be affirmed. But if you know that God validates you and affirms you and God wants to share his glory with you, oh, wow, you can do anything. You can do anything. Wow. That's amazing. When we come back, I want to share his glory with you. I want to share another scripture with you and a little story about someone that has one potato and another person who has 10 billion potatoes. And I'm going to give you seven ways that God validates you. I think you're going to find very, very helpful. You're listening to the Jeff Kaven show. Hi, I'm Sonia Corbett, the Bible study of Angelista. When I became Catholic, I had a really hard time understanding the role Mary was supposed to play in my life. So I went to her and I told

her, I just don't get it. I need your help. And guess what? Mary did just that. She showed me a way to pray that has revolutionized my entire life. Mary has been called the mother of listening. She didn't just hear the word. She knew how to hear it in light of her own relationships, circumstances, and habits. And then she let the word transform her. I realized that I had to share what I was learning about Mary's way of praying with others. So I wrote how to pray like Mary, a step-by-step guide to discovering God's voice in the scriptures and letting him transform your heart. I invite you to learn more about how to pray like Mary at ascensionpress.com or on Amazon. And welcome back. We're talking about when doves cry, seeking validation. And we were talking a little bit

about Prince. And of course, he grew up in the Twin Cities, where I grew up, and we're about the same age. his studios, Paisley Park, in Chanhast in Minnesota, that's where I grew up. And in fact, his studios are right off the same road as my parents' house. And he wrote that song, When Doves Cry, I wrote it in less than 24 hours. And he wrote it about the fights between his mother and father and how it affected him and how it eventually affected his relationship with even girls and other people. and it really is apropos. I'm looking now at Matthew chapter 20. There's an amazing parable there that is really something. I want to read part of this to you because I think it really does

tell us a little bit about where we're looking for our reward, where we're looking for our validation. Is it in your position? Is it in the newsletter at work? Is it in one another? Is it in being affirmed publicly? Is that really where payday is for you? Or is it in the Lord? And so Jesus talks about in Matthew 20, he says, for the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And going out about the third hour, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace. And to them, he said, you go into the vineyard too, and whatever is right, I will give you. So they went. Going out again about the sixth hour, and the ninth hour,

he did the same. And about the 11th hour, he went out and found others standing. And he said to them, why do you stand here idle all day? And they said to him, because we have no one to hire us. And he said to them, you go into the vineyard too. And when evening had come, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, give the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last up to the first. And when those hired about the 11th hour came, each of them received a denarius. Now, when those hired first came, they thought they would receive more. But each of them also received a denarius. And on receiving it, they grumbled at the master of the house saying, these last worked Only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.

Now, listen to the master. Listen to these words. They're very powerful. But the master replied to one of them, friend, friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Listen to this. Or do you begrudge my generosity?

So the last will be first and the first last. Isn't that an amazing parable? Now, what can we learn from that? Well, we can learn that number one is that the master is incredibly generous. And the master is more than willing to lavish riches and glory on to the workers. But the workers are using their own means of measurement as far as their validation. And that measurement is time worked and paid given. So they say, I've worked all day and you paid me this. This guy didn't work nearly as long as I did. And you paid him the same thing. You're not validating me in my efforts. You're not paying me what I'm worth. You're not affirming me for my gifts. And the master is basically saying, this. I'm paraphrasing, buddy, your problem is not with that other guy. Your problem is with me.

Now, I would say, based on that parable right there, and what we're talking about here when we talk about when Doves' Cry seeking validation, is that if you're seeking this in other people, and it's disrupting relationships and ministries, and it's disrupting you from becoming all that God called you to be, then you have placed a type of measurement into the equation that reflects not a problem with another ministry or another boss or someone at work, but your relationship with God. You see, your problem is with your father, with your heavenly father, not with your cousin, not with mom and dad's will, not what you, sure, these things can cause problems, but I'm talking ultimate here. I'm talking about ultimately, your problem is not with that lady. It's not with that man. It's

not with that ministry. It's not with that boss. It's not with that colleague. It's not with that cousin. It's not with that neighbor. It's not with that priest. It's not with that bishop. Your problem is with your Heavenly Father. You don't understand his generosity, and you don't understand how he wants to validate you. Now, what are seven ways that God validates you? What are they? Let's go through these quickly. And by the way, these will all be in the show notes as far as scriptures and things. I'll put them in there for you. I know you're driving. And again, just a reminder, text, Jeff Kaven's all one word to 3377. That's so easy to remember, even if you're driving, 33777. Seven ways that God validates you. This is gold, okay? Number one, he made you in his

image and likeness. That's pretty cool. God did not make you in the image of a pig, or a cow or giraffe or a tree or a mountain. He made you in his image and likeness. Just that, right there, means you're validated. It means that you are valuable and worth something. You're affirmed. You're worth something. Your worth is tied up in the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God. Don't try to find it in money. Don't try to find it in positions and titles and relationships. Please don't do that. It's an ever, ever. never-ending path. He made you in his image and likeness. Genesis 1-27. Zephaniah 317 says, The Lord your God is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory. He will rejoice over you with gladness.

He will renew you in his love. He will exalt over you with loud singing. If that isn't validation, I don't know what is. Seriously, the affirmation of that colleague is so important that you're going to ruin your day, disrupt your family, and allow your children to hear what it is, to hear doves cry. He made you in his image and likeness of God. Embrace it. Number two, he loves you even when you are stinky and ugly. He loves you, even when you're stinky and ugly. John 316, for God's so love the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. You see, you're validated because God loves you so much. He died for you. You talk about worth. Don't put that job title in the way. Don't put that relationship in the way. Don't put the fact

that you don't think you're getting everything from your spouse that you think you deserve. Don't let it disrupt your life. He died for you, my friend. That's major cool. He died for you. You're validated. You're worth something. Don't look to business and don't look to how close you are to this person or whether that person mentioned you in a talk or whatever it might be. That person mentioned a quote you gave him. Don't worry about it. I'm speaking here to people who might be in ministry, you know, in some way. Number three, God is always pulling for you in a big way. He's always on your side. Romans 831. What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who's against us? It's a good question. If God's for you, if he's pulling for you, he's the one at the beginning of the starting line, he's the one at the end of the race, he's the one that's with you along the way. That's major validation that we need to embrace. Number four, how has God validated you? He has placed you in his family, the church. just the act through baptism of being able to join with his family, the mystical body of Christ,

that's validating. That shows your worth. That shows that he affirms you. That shows that he's placing you in a church that offers further affirmation and gifts and healing and grace. But just the fact that he placed you in the church says something about your worth, doesn't it? I'm not going to invite everybody in the street to come live in this Cavan's household. I have three daughters and I have grandchildren, and they are a part of my household, and that says something about their worth. I'm not going to go out there and invite everyone else into my household. I'll invite them into the church, but if I did invite someone on the street to become a part of this household, wouldn't that say something about them? Now, I'm speaking a bit of hyperbole there, that I'm not going to go out there and invite every single person into this house, and here, there's your room.

but I did with three, and it speaks of their worth and that they are validated. Number five, we don't commend ourselves or in any unhealthy way force others to commend us. We don't commend ourselves. God commends us. God commends us. It says in 2 Corinthians 1018, for it is not the man who commends himself that is accepted, but the man whom the Lord commends. And the Lord commends us. The Lord validates us. The Lord affirms us. Real quickly, number six, number six, I got this from Proverbs 25, 27. Listen to what it says. It says, it is not good to eat much honey. So be sparing of complementary words. It isn't what you... Oh, I love that. Listen, be sparing of complementary words. It isn't what you're

ultimately looking for. We are sparing of complementary words because our words do not ultimately validate people, but when people validate you with complementary words, don't put full stock in it. take it for what it is. It might be a nice compliment. Thank you. I appreciate that. But don't change your focus to think that this is where it's ultimately at. Finally, somebody compliment him. He's finally, somebody affirmed me. Finally, somebody recognize these tremendous gifts that I have, right? And so it's not good to eat much, honey. Don't eat a whole lot of honey. Be sparing about receiving complimentary words and know that the compliments come from God and that his validation is what you're really looking for. And then I really love this one. This is so good. The seventh one, your father is eagerly awaiting to reward you.

Did you know that? He's eagerly awaiting to reward you. Part of the whole life of piety of, you know, alms giving and fasting and prayer that are given in the sermon on the Mount, you know, those three forms of piety. We're warned in there, you know. Don't do these things thinking you're going to get your reward from men, or if you do them to be seen, you're going to get your reward from men, but not going to be what you're looking for, because your ultimate reward is from your father. Listen to what it says here. It says, Matthew 6, 16 through 18, it'll be in the show notes. And when you fast, do not look dismal like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Look at me. I'm a mess. I'm tired and emaciated. Why do you look so emaciated? Well, I'm fasting. Fasting for the world. Jesus goes on and says, truly I say to you, they have received their reward. Okay. Your friends saw you. There's your reward. But then he goes on and he says, but when you fast, and we could say when you pray and when you give alms, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by men. but by your father who is in secret, and your father who sees in secret, will reward you. Isn't that beautiful?

You see, this is what you're really looking for, the reward of your father, the validation of your father, and we can all measure our lives right now, and that is to you, do you really feel validated and affirmed? Do you really feel that you're worth something? Are you looking for this in others? or in relationships, in business, whatever it might be, it has to come from your Heavenly Father who loves you. He comes to you in His Word to speak to you as children.

He wants to reward you, validate you. He wants you to know you are made like him in his image and likeness. He wants you to know that he loves you when you're really stinky, when you're really ugly, when you're contrary. He is pulling for you. He placed you in a family. He commends you. Oh, he's going to give you a reward.

Quick little story. There was a man who owns a potato company, and he has millions of potatoes. He's very successful, but he lacks validation. He comes upon a man who grows a garden that yields 10 potatoes in a little village. The millionaire says, I can give you advice. I can help you grow more potatoes. I can help you to become someone. I have gifts that you're lacking, and I can give to you, but it will cost you one potato.

The poor man says, I can't give you a potato. I only have 10 potatoes, and therefore my small little village and family here that an eruption ensues. The millionaire silently thinks, I'm not being validated. He doesn't see my value. He doesn't see my gifts. He doesn't see what I'm worth here. I can't work with you. I can't work with you unless you give me a potato.

One potato kept the millionaire, the one with one billion potatoes, from working with the poor person because a potato became the measurement of validation. Listen, do not allow a potato to become the measure. of your validation. Don't let a potato, don't let $100, don't let a thousand dollars, don't let a, don't let a relationship, don't let being mentioned be the barrier. You're validated by God, and that's enough. I want to pray with you, and I want to pray that, that including myself, that there will be a shift in our lives in validation from looking outside to looking up to our Father, and to Jesus Christ for validation and for affirmation and worth.

If you're struggling with this in your life right now, this show is just for you. And in the show notes, I'm going to give you this stuff. I really encourage you to this week, focus on these scriptures and focus on this idea that God does validate you and love you. And when that temptation comes up and that desire comes up like an identity. addiction or craving to be validated by somebody else. And you have that sense inside. It isn't happening. I'm getting nervous. I'm getting anxious. I'm getting angry. I don't like this person. I don't like this context. I don't like this job. I don't like this family. I don't like this neighborhood.

I don't like that person in ministry. They won't validate me. Resist it. And get your mind right back on your Heavenly Father and say out loud, Father, I know you validate me. Jesus, I know that you've accepted me and you've given me a family. I know that there's a reward that comes from you. Help me stay on track. Help me stay on track. Before I pray, just a quick reminder, we'll say much about it, but the big trip in June with Father Michael Schmitz and myself to the Holy Land is filling up. If you're a young adult, or you would like to go and fake like your young adults. You can go to my website, jeffcavens.com, under pilgrimages, and you can get information on signing up for that. It's filling up. It's going to be an epic journey to the Holy Land,

June of 2020. We've got great singers coming, Allie Aaliyah, Taylor Tripodi, brother Isaiah. We've got Andrew and Sarah Swoffer joining us, co-sponsored by Franciscan University. Epic. Don't miss it. Let's pray, shall we? In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord, I lift up my brother and sister to you right now. I lift up my friend to you. And I know what it is, Lord, to suffer from feeling that lack of validation from others and completely forgetting you. I know that. Lord, I pray that my friends will turn their gaze from that which is around them to you and get their validation from you and their affirmation and their sense of worth simply from you so that they can be freed up to serve. Serve in ministry.

serve in their calling, serve in their gifts, may validation from others never inhibit our calling. Because with that calling, our father is your validation built in. I thank you for this. And I pray you'll set my brother free. I pray you'll set my sister free in Jesus' name. Amen. Name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. You know what? I love you. And I pray for you. And I can't wait to talk next week again. God bless you.