The Jeff Cavins Show (Your Catholic Bible Study Podcast) - When the Turkey Is Gone — The Leftovers

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

The turkey may be gone, but the spiritual leftovers can linger. Jeff breaks open the two struggles that often emerge after family gatherings—unforgiveness and envy—and shows how the Gospel invites us to something better. Email us with comments or questions at [e-mail]. Text “jeffcavins” to 33-777 to subscribe and get Jeff’s shownotes delivered straight to your email! Or visit https://media.ascensionpress.com/?s=&page=2&category%5B0%5D=Ascension%20Podcasts&category%5B1%5D=The%20Jeff%20Cavins%20Show for full shownotes!

This podcast is brought to you by Ascension. To discover even more free Catholic podcasts, videos, and resources, to help you live your faith every day, visit ascensionpress.com. Welcome to the Jeff Kaven Show, where we talk about the Bible, discipleship, and evangelization, putting it all together in living as activated disciples. This is show 459, when the turkey is gone, the leftovers. Wow, what a big week that was last week, Thanksgiving here in the United States. And it is always such a big deal in so many ways, isn't it? Especially when you put into the mixed travel problems and everything that we've gone through in the United States. They say that the Sunday after Thanksgiving was a record as far as TSA screenings and

people traveling around the world, just a big day. But the thing that happened on Thanksgiving that doesn't happen on every day throughout the year is you get together with family. You get together with those that came from across the country you haven't talked to in a while and there might even be reasons why you didn't talk to them for a while. But I want to talk to you about that today. And that is when the turkey is gone, the leftovers, what happens after Thanksgiving. and I want to talk specifically about two things that can happen at Thanksgiving when family gets together.

Now, I know a lot of good things can happen. And no doubt, there are a lot of good things that have happened. And your family might be one of those where you get together and everything is just, you know, great. It's just great. But I know I'm talking to a few people that that's not always the way it works out. In fact, some of the language that takes place at the end. end when everybody leaves is, we're not doing that again. So last time I'm inviting them over, can you believe what she said?

I could not believe what they brought up in the middle of the meal. So what I'd like to do today, if you're one of those families where when you left or they left, it looked like one of those scenes in a movie where there's bodies laying around, you know, after a war and smoke rising from the ground and a commentator. giving some kind of thoughts about the battle. Well, it probably wasn't that bad. But anyway, we're going to talk about two things that people do struggle with once they get together with family. And I hope it's going to be some help for you.

By the way, if you do want show notes, all you got to do is text my name, Jeff Kaven's, one word to the number 3377. 3377 will get you the show notes. Okay. So we're going to make this precise. We're going to make it fast. We're going to talk about two things that oftentimes happen after you get together with family. You know, they say that when you get together, there's two things that you shouldn't talk about. One is religion and the other is politics. And it's funny. It's uncanny how often those topics come up. It really is. And somebody brings up something about, did you hear what happened with Trump the other day or what he said? said and someone else makes a comment before you know it, you're in the middle of it. And there you are. You're talking about politics or somebody brings up religion in some way. I think that one

of the reasons that so much happens when family gets together is because so much has happened in the past. There's a lot of water under the bridge, you know, and a lot of experiences, a lot of previous conversations, maybe some judgments made. And sometimes it goes all the way back to growing up, you know in this show we don't have time to talk about all the dynamics of sibling rivalry and sibling problems but you could literally have three or four programs just just on that so here's one thing the first half of this show i want to talk about this one first and that is this if something happened at thanksgiving something was brought up somebody said something there's usually room for unforgiveness something was said someone said something and you were hurt or you're aware of your brother

your sister was hurt maybe your spouse maybe one of your kids was hurt by something a cousin said or did and they left they went back to their place whether it was across the country or across town and there your family is kind of stuck with this and you've been thinking about it ever since well i want to give you the answer to unforgiveness of course unforgiveness is when somebody said something or did something and it hurt. You are holding it now against them. And the words that you use back it up. They'll never come back. I'll never invite them. We're not going over there next year. They're not coming here next year, that type of thing. Well, you don't want this to fester. You really want to take care of it. And here's the beautiful thing

about Christianity is that Jesus came and not only did he forgive us our sins after Thanksgiving, not only did he forgive us our sins, but he gives us the ability. I'd go beyond that. The privilege of forgiving other people. Now, that's a different way of looking at it, isn't it? That Jesus forgave you original sin and every sin that has been confessed since, or you've gone to Mass and received the Eucharist and venial sin was dealt with. But now he says something.

He says, I want you to, you know, go, along with the Lord's Prayer, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. That should go on every mirror in your home after Thanksgiving. And hey, by the way, Christmas is right around the corner. So that is very, very important. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others who have trespass against us. So what we see here in the relationship with our relatives is that it is both a vertical relationship between us and God in the forgiveness that we receive, but it's extended horizontally between our family members. And Jesus is very, very serious about this. All you got to do is pick up, as I have here in my great adventure goat-covered

Bible. I have here a story in Matthew chapter 18 that is incredible. It's the parable of the unmerciful servant, and I'll give you just the rundown of that real quickly, okay? Here's the question, right? Just prior to this, in verse 21, Peter came up and said to the Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Now, when Peter said that, he must have thought, well, that's pretty generous, you know, seven times and seven's a covenant number. Jesus said to him, I didn't say seven times, but I say 70 times seven, which is a Hebraic way of saying in perpetuity.

Imperpetuity is a way of saying forever. As many times as you have to, you forgive. So therefore, Jesus goes into this story. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. And when he began, the reckoning, one was brought to him who over. vote him 10,000 talents. Now, let's pause right there and let's put this into perspective, okay? What is a talent? Well, a talent is a measurement that is the equivalent of 15 years wages.

15 years wages. You make 100,000 a year, we're talking 1.5 million. That's a lot. That's a lot. This guy owes 10,000 talents. Let's do the math real quick. 150,000 years worth of salary. Oh, that's a lot. I would say it's impossible, actually, but it's a lot. And this guy, he couldn't pay it. His Lord ordered him to be sold.

That makes sense. He's not going to be able to pay it. He's ordered to be sold with his wife and children all that he had in payment be made. So what we're talking about here is indentured servanthood is that this king realizes that there's a great loss here. He's going to get as much as he can out of it. And it's going to be for the rest of their life, he and his wife and children are going to be working for him to try to get this money back. But here's what the servant did. The servant fell on his knees, imploring him, Lord, have patience with me. And I will pay you everything. So yeah, you think? Seriously?

it's like having a credit card with a visa or master card and you've got $100,000 on the credit card and you make $30,000 a year. And you call them up and say, look, I'll pay it. I will pay it. Just cut that interest rate from 18% down to maybe 2% or something. Well, here's the guy's response. The servant fell on his knees imploring him, Lord, have patience with me. I will pay you everything.

Now here's the deal. Verse 27 says, And out of pity for him, the Lord of the servant released him. Say what? Released him. And forgave him the debt. My word. Oh, wow. You talk about a new day. You talk about a new beginning. You talk about a new life. Wow. Wow. That's incredible. Now, that's what Jesus did for you prior to Thanksgiving. He paid the price for everything. He forgave you of everything.

And then you had to go and be a part of Thanksgiving. And everything got stirred up again. Now listen to what this guy does. That same servant who was forgiven 150,000 years a salary, he went out, came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii, area is the day's wage. Okay. So a couple months here. And seizing him by the throat, he said, pay what you owe. So his fellow servant did what he did with 150,000 years. He fell down and pleaded with him. Have patience with me. I will pay you. But here's it is, verse 30, he refused

and went and put him in prison till he should pay the debt. Now here's the problem is that it wasn't just family at the Thanksgiving dinner. There were neighbors there as well. Somebody was there that knew the parties in the Thanksgiving dinner. They saw what happened, and they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their Lord all that had taken place, and then his Lord summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant, man, I forgave you all that debt, because you pleaded with me. Should not have you had mercy on your fellow servant?

is I had mercy on you? And in anger, his Lord delivered him to the jailers till he should pay all his debt. That's the end of the story. But it's not the end of the story because Jesus talks beyond the story. And he says, oh, so also, guys, look at me, guys. I'm done with the story, okay? You saw the end of the story. And anger, his Lord delivered him to the jailers till he should pay all of his debt. Now story ends. Jesus speaks. So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. Just something I wanted to share with you today. Post- Thanksgiving.

So if you are holding anything against those who shared turkey with you and dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, then God is calling you to release them. stop the language, stop the criticizing, stop spreading the poison among your children, and pray for them, release them, of them. And people can say, well, Jeff, you don't understand. This was really, really serious what happened, to which I would say, you need to understand. What happened between Jesus and you was really serious. You were on your way to hell.

He saved you. He died for you. He loved you. I don't think there's anything you could bring up that. matches that. Case closed. So we must forgive. Talk about the next one. Right after the break, you're listening to The Jeff Kaven show. Hi, my name's Father Mike Schmitz, and I'm excited to announce my latest project, a new Advent series coming out in the ascension app called Waiting Well. Here's the thing. The stats show that we spend up to several years of our lives

waiting. Waiting in line, waiting at Red Light, waiting while friends and family get ready. We're just constantly waiting. And instead of embracing those times of waiting, what do we do? We worry, we get anxious, and maybe most of all, we check out and we just get lost in scrolling on our phones. But there is a spiritual importance to waiting that we cannot miss. In fact, waiting is so important that God gives us entire seasons of waiting, Lent and Advent, as a way to help shape us and help us realize where in our lives we're still waiting to let Jesus in. In order to be, truly open to God in this way, we have to learn to embrace times of waiting. Most of all, we have to acknowledge, accept, and then live out the deep truth that this moment and every

moment of our lives actually matters. If this resonates with you, if you feel something stirring deep down in your soul, then join me this advent for Waiting Well, exclusively in the Ascension app. You can download the free prayer plan by signing up for the wait list in the Ascension app on your mobile device or by visiting ascensionpress.com slash Father Mike Advent. What are you waiting for? See what I did there? God bless. Thanks for coming back. You know, sometimes on these shows, you just got to say it the way it is. You know what I mean? And if people are struggling with unforgiveness, particularly after Thanksgiving, hopefully Christmas it'll be better. You'll learn the lesson, right? And you'll go into Christmas a little

with a different mindset. But when these things happen, I think it's best just to say it the way it is. Read the gospel and hold people accountable. And I would want that in my life. I want somebody to say to me, Jeff, get your attitude right. Jesus did an awful lot for you. Yeah, but, no, don't give me the yeah, but, do what he told you to do. This is serious.

So it's serious. That's unforgiveness. The second thing that happens at Thanksgiving dinners, oftentimes when family gets together is something that goes beyond jealousy. And what's jealousy? Well, jealousy is, I want what you have. That's not necessarily sinful. It really isn't.

You got a beautiful family. You got kids that are doing well. Oh, I'm jealous. I wish I had that. Well, that can be a very positive type of thing. Now, jealousy can also be sinful. Don't get me wrong. But there's something that is worse than jealousy, something deadly.

In fact, we call it a deadly sin, and it's called, you know what? Envy. Oh, you want to ruin the holidays? Jump into a pool of envy. Envy. What is it? Well, it's different than jealousy. Jealousy is I want what you have.

Envy is I don't want you to have what you have. In fact, the blessings and the good things that are happening in your life make me sick. I hate it. brings me down, makes me sad. I wish you had never even brought it up. I wish you would never come to this Thanksgiving. Because what you get across the table in the midst of the mashed potatoes and everything else is you get a list of all the successes of your siblings and what their kids are doing and how they made a killing on Bitcoin. And you don't have the same report.

and you would think because it's your family you think oh i'm so happy for you on top of that they won mega millions didn't even tell you but you would think you know you'd be happy about all that but it oftentimes doesn't turn out that way you become envious you don't even want to talk to him you don't even want to bring anything up and so you just start talking about sports or something else you know or whatever it might be but it certainly isn't going to be where you went to vacation because you had to stay home, they went on a European river cruise. And so if that is happening in your life, I would submit to you that that is not a problem between you and your siblings.

It is a problem between you and your God, Jesus Christ. It really is. Remember the prodigal son? Well, the prodigal son, the youngest one, he asked for the father's inheritance. He got it. He went to a faraway country. He squandered it. He came back.

and his father came running to him and the signet ring a fatted calf, a party embraced him, but the older brother who had been there all along struggled with envy didn't make him very happy that his brother got so much attention

after doing so many wrong things and envy set in. Really that story of the prodigal son should be the faithful father but if you're going to pin the title on the son I would call it the two, the two prodigals, the two prodigal sons. One went away from the father by

leaving geographically. The other one went away from the father, but stayed home. Both misunderstood the father. And when you misunderstand God's provision and goodness, siblings can fight. Siblings can experience envy, and you don't want it. What's the solution? Here's a solution. the solution to envy is to stop judging and comparing your value and how much God loves you by what others have and you don't have. Be content with what you have. Be content with your relationship with the Lord. Do not measure life by things. Oftentimes it's not really what you thought it was anyway, right? It's kind of like Facebook. Thanksgiving is kind of like Facebook. isn't it? All the good things are brought up while everyone's thinking about their own life.

So the solution to envy is to have a good attitude towards them. Bless them. Give thanks for them. Thank God that he is blessing your siblings. And thank God that he is taking care of you. And the love that he has for you is no different than your siblings at all. Not even the slightest. he loves you so much he loves you so much and he receives you in all the graces that are available to your brother and sister cousins and parents grandma and grandpa they're all available to you too they really are so your problem at thanksgiving is not your siblings it's your relationship with the lord be content with all that he has given you be content and know that if you have christ in your there can be nothing better in life, for that is eternal, that is satisfying, that is a good thing.

So let's pray about those two things, shall we this week? I share this with you because I, well, I was a pastor, you know, for 12 years. So I do have some experience with pastoral matters. I'm not pastoring in the church as a layman today, obviously. I'm not a priest. but I'm quite experienced at the problems that come up after Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. I've never had a problem. Sure.

We all have, right? We all have. And so we can come together here and we can pray and we can take care of this today. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Lord Jesus, Lord, concerning unforgiveness, we release our brother, our sister, our cousin. our grandpa, grandma, our parents, we release them for what was said, what was what was done, what was implied. We release them. We forgive. We thank you, Lord, that you forgave us, and now we pass that on, and we release other people. And we choose to love, and we choose to bless and affirm. And Lord, concerning envy, Lord, help us to break this deadly sin.

and to stop comparing ourselves with others and then coming to a conclusion that we are less than, less loved, less provided for, less important. But Jesus, you are enough. You are all we need in life. And you have given yourself to us unreservedly. And we love you for that.

And we thank you for that. And we are content with that. We release ourselves from envy. in Jesus name amen my friend if these things are really an issue because of thanksgiving go to confession confess it today this prayer with me is a beginning but if you are dealing seriously with envy and unforgiveness you really do need to go to confession and to hear the words you are released you are forgiven that's how important it is and we can use this as a preparation preparation for Christmas because they might all be coming back and you want to be prepared and don't make

the same mistake you made at Thanksgiving. If none of this applies to you, have a good day, but I do know that you probably know someone that this applies to, so you might want to share the show with them. My friend, I love you. Pray for you. Pray for me. I look forward to talking to you next week. Thank you.