The Joe Budden Podcast - I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 1

Episode Date: February 18, 2015

In the debut Episode of Joe Budden's podcast, Joe and Marissa

All right, ladies and gentlemen, Joe Bud and Marissa, go ahead. Oh, yeah. Listen, what are you? Nothing happened. I guess. Oh, yeah. Like, I don't even know what to say. Like, hello?

What do you say to me? How do you say it? I know you're used to hearing fucking Ty Dolla $ign. I was hoping that was him. No, this is real. I don't know. So is Ty Dolla $ign. I'm not saying that.

But anyway, this is a good intro music. I can't. Don't steal my fucking life. I know. I'm not saying that. But anyway, this is a good intro music. Check it out, man. I can't. Don't steal my fucking mic. I know. I just said it because you said it. I want to welcome everybody who is listening right this second. Let me cut the music off because I have a lot to say. What's the name of the show again?

I think it's I'll Name This Show Later. I'll Name This Show Later. With Joe Budden. With, that would be me, and you. Me. I'm Marissa Mendez. Don't take over the mic already. I'm just saying.

Now, how are you feeling amazing i had a great day already you're probably not about to have an enjoyable podcast i have some things that i would like i already know what you're going to want to discuss and you want to know what else i stood in my mirror this morning before coming here and i practiced my response because i knew that you were going to rip into me. So I'm ready for it. How did you know that? Because the fact that you know that lets me know that you know your behavior was totally

unacceptable. It wasn't unacceptable. Your reaction already inside of the club. Well we won't get into that just yet. What today is, well we don't care about what today is. All Star Weekend just passed. It did. It was wonderful.

It was all right. I had a great time. I was very alone. Meaning? I was very proud of myself. I was very mature this All-Star Weekend. How so? I didn't have any holes.

None. I didn't have any hope oh the thing about all-star weekend is it will let you know where you rank in terms of priority with your hoes you know what you're right because i learned things about my rankings too well your rank has been low your rank has been no i saw two out of four bays or five how many bays do you have? I think, I forgot. All right, so we don't care about that. So around Tuesday, I started getting the influx of text messages from all of my hoes, letting me know that they were in town, they wanted to see me, let's get up and eat.

Tuesday to Thursday, my text inbox was very active. Around Friday that kind of stopped. It stopped. Which was fine because I really wasn't looking to engage in any whole activities. But still I just wanted to feel a little important. Sometimes you need

your text to go off to feel important. So Friday. What happened Friday? When did I see you? We were together Saturday. Do i want to get straight into fucking saturday no because you want to talk about friday and your hose or lack thereof nothing really happened friday you know what my thing is let's just get right into it it's important here i'd be wanting to know from women right and to the to the beautiful women out there i'm going to use the term hosees a lot. That term is not gender specific.

I'm speaking about male and female hoes, number one. And number two, when I say the word hoes, I'm not speaking about women. It's not defamation of women. I'm typically talking about hoes, and we can discuss what that entails later on. But, yeah, Friday, nothing happened. There was no hoes. Went to a couple parties. A couple of friends hit me and said a couple spots were a lituation and they were not a lituation i also hate the word lituation by the way they shouldn't be your friends when they're

saying that when i use the word lituation it will totally be for sarcasm uh fab is my guy but yeah we won't be using that word very often sat Saturday. I feel like I need to provide backstory. Okay. Wait, what? With you. No. Yeah. No.

Let's provide backstory. Let's not and say we did. A few, what is this? I want to say a few, maybe about a month and a half ago. Had some friends and family over the house because that's what i do i like to you know have uh gatherings at the house instead of going out because it allows for me to see and enjoy people without being annoyed and being past demos the entire evening and taking pictures and autographs actually the picture kind of killed autographs but that's a whole

another topic was i here you were at this. So, Maddie comes in with her two friends, one of whom being a fucking ho-bag. He says now. Anyhow, go on. Is she not a ho-bag? No, she's not. I don't care if she fucking sucked me off. She's still a fucking... Okay, so we're just going balls to the wall now.

Well, I'm just saying. That little tidbit means absolutely nothing. She's still a ho-bag. Okay. What's happening right now? That's my intern. Why do you have an intern? Because I'm important. Anyway, so I have this gathering at my You're still a ho-bag. Okay. What's happening right now? That's my intern. Why do you have an intern? Because I'm important.

Anyway, so I have this gathering at my house, right? Madi comes in with her ho-bag friend and another friend who may be a ho-bag, but I don't know her well enough to call her a ho-bag. We're playing taboo. People are drinking. Madi is glued to her phone the entire evening waiting on a rapper to text her. Wait, which one? I'm not doing that. Okay, no, no, no, gonna say names i'm saying are we referring to my long drawn out

text or we're just talking about the person we saw yeah i'm referring to the long drawn out okay so she is like glued to this fucking phone right and when i and when i say this what i mean is like like she was writing entire paragraphs. We were having a heated conversation and he was writing paragraphs back. No, you were having a heated conversation and he was responding back with, okay, you bugging. You stupid. He didn't call me stupid. Leave me alone.

He didn't say leave me alone. I'm not beat. He didn't say he's not beat. I don't want to fuck you anymore. He did not say any of those things. Your head is trash. No one would ever say my head is trash. Your box is weed. No. He didn't say leave me alone. I'm not beat. He didn't say he's not beat. I don't want to fuck you anymore. He did not say any of those things. Your head is trash. No one would ever say my head is trash. Your box is weed.

No. He didn't say any of those things. He was replying back with these type of things, right? Type of. No. And I only know this because I snatched the phone from Marissa. It's his favorite pastime. But anyway, long story.

Well, the first half of a long story short. Because that's completely irrelevant to everything we're talking about. half of a long story short because that's completely irrelevant to everything we're talking about and mighty gets up and she storms out the door with her two friends and she heads over to the strip club lust shout out to kevin and frank and all the good people with lust beatrice how you doing um she storms over there and i have no idea why i come to find out uh a rapper is going to be appearing there she knows this because she stalked this person's Instagram. Not because he texted her and said, yo, come meet me. Okay, people do that all the time.

I'm not rolling with that one. Are they fans that want to meet the artist? You're not a fan, my nigga. I mean, I am a fan. I have his album. And that's kind of what we need to discuss at the end of this conversation. But anyway, Maddie rushes over there so this rapper can see her, right? No, so I could see him.

Same thing, I guess. Yeah. So she can see him. The rapper never shows up. She's just there looking stupid. She drove 45 minutes for absolutely nothing. It wasn't my car. Now she's just sitting there stupid she drove 45 minutes for absolutely nothing it wasn't my car and now she's just sitting there with dry box looking dumb because the person she wanted to see

was not there why are we going so crazy right now well i don't think that's going crazy i wasn't dry box i was having a great time with my friends we saw dj enough that's a good friend of mine we had fun we turned up you didn't drive 45 minutes to see dj enough i know i didn't purposely go for him but i saw him i enjoyed my time there and i didn't drive and i was drunk so point so point being you were drunk and you did not see the person that you did go to see is that a yes or no that is a yes if we're on the stand that is a yes all right so i'm correct so that's the backstory fast forward all-star weekend saturday right that's what happened friday i went to some kenny smith party it was like a fucking wblS party. It was a bunch of old people. I was the youngest person there. Um, and I never

want to be the youngest person in a party. Um, so I left there and then I went to, uh, I went to some other all-star weekend shindig. I was suited and booted and I still felt like I was the only light-skinned person in the club. That really wasn't it. So I said, you know what? Fuck this. I'm just going to go do my ratchet, normal New york shit and i went to lust and i had the time of my life me and my good friend rory i threw a couple alley-oops to rory he bagged a few hoes we had a great time in lust but we only were there for about 40 minutes were we no i'm not i'm talking about friday you weren't present fast forward to saturday everybody's sending me these invites to go out let's hang let's kick it i'm like you know what?

I'm going to do some more ratchet shit. I'm going to head over to Lust because I had a wonderful, splendid time the night before. Let's do it again. Right. Because I'm an addict. I like to do things all the fucking way. So we go to Lust. Me, Rory, Marissa, who else?

Steph. Steph. 11-8. Shout out to her. She was there. Ish comes. Ish is. We had a whole crew. Steph. Steph. 11-8. Shout out to her. She was there. Ish comes. Ish is. We had a whole crew.

Squad. Deep. And we go to lust. A rapper is supposed to be there. Now, are we saying said rapper's name? No, we are never ever in our lives. We're not saying. Can I say his initial?

You can say nothing. I can't say anything about him. You can say absolutely fucking nothing. All right. Well, all right. Well, let me see. Well, it certainly wasn't, well,

who's an, it wasn't Mayno. Who's an attractive rapper? It wasn't me. Yeah, well, you were there, so.

So there's this rapper here and I really couldn't understand, okay, the women, I don't understand a lot about women. Obviously. Maddie is now

glued to the fucking entrance of the club her head is on a swivel it wasn't we were in the back I couldn't even look at the entrance and yet you still found a way to look at the entrance we were upstairs the entrance is downstairs what is there to see no the entrance upstairs

oh the VIP entrance no the entrance into the fucking strip club not the entrance to oh the vip entrance no the entrance into the fucking strip club not the entrance to vip the entrance to the strip club mano comes in me and him kick it he comes in with a million niggas they go over there like it's starting to become a situation yes said rapper's crew starts coming in mighty because she's a fucking Instagram stalker fucking fuck, knows the entire crew. She knows the fucking bus boys, the record handlers, the DJ, the weed carriers. She knows everyone because she stalks this person's Instagram. So she's excited.

Mind you, she had a headache and would not budge. She was sad and depressed and lonely and wanted to leave. I need to explain why I was also sad because my text messages were really ridiculous at that point. Some guy that I was talking to asked me to go on his other bitch's Instagram because apparently she's blocked him. And he asked me to screenshot her last three photos and send it to him. I'm thinking that it's like going to be a good purpose. He's going to be like, yeah, she's talking shit about you or something like I'm'm gonna check her or even like she's putting our situation on blast i'm gonna check her thinking it's something like that and i was like okay here and he's like i just wanted to see if she was

still in new york so he just wanted me to help him with his other bitch so that was my mindset at that point so ladies and gentlemen of the jury maddie monroe has already proved that she speaks to idiots constantly via text. Well, I didn't say that he was a gem. And you did it. But anyway, that has nothing to do with that. Because I thought we were going to have a good purpose, and it turned out it wasn't. Good for you. There weren't many good purposes from you this night.

Finally said rapper comes in the building. Swag on a trillion. No, actually, he looked a hot-ass fucking mess. I thought that was pretty swaggy yeah when you i don't hate the word swaggy when you when you look a mess but it looks like it's done intentionally i enjoy that okay and and that's what it appeared that he had going on mighty jumps up and stands on the couch we were all standing on the couch no i wasn't standing on the couch i'm mature ish was on the couch we were some of us were on half of us were on the couch. We were all standing on the couch for the record. No, I wasn't standing on the couch. I'm mature.

Ish was on the couch. Some of us were on, half of us were on the couch. Okay, well, the adults were not standing on the couch. Ish is an adult. Ish wasn't standing on a couch. He was on the couch

and his boy was standing on the couch with his back to us staring at crew not even looking at us. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Edit that out, please. Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. No, no.

Hey, Pete, Pete, we want to edit that. No, so let's make that clear he was being the malest male groupie of the cinch that man that man is not here to defend himself no back to us but you are here i am marty's head is on a swivel she's looking to her left she's for her mouth is on the fucking floor she's got drool coming out of her fucking no i was side eyeing the whole time like glancing over and i would love to give the real backstory as to why but you've already set this up to the point where i don't even want to because it's gonna it's bad

you looked like a a retard no here's the thing also i knew they weren't looking at us that maybe there's a couple people in front of us that might see me. I didn't care. The point was, I was trying to make, see, I can't even properly defend myself because then I'm just putting more out there than I need to be.

You can't defend yourself because you look like a fool. No, there was a purpose behind my story. and, and, and,

I don't mind you looking like a fool. You reserve the right to look like a fool whenever you may please. I only mind because you were with me. How about you didn't check your male groupie friend? He was literally staring at the crew like he was with them.

I know it may be difficult for you to gauge how you were looking because it's difficult to do that when you're on the inside looking out. Do you trust me at all? You do. Yeah, but it's like a a weighted trust like it's like there's levels to this trust so you do so you so you do trust me i do but sometimes you're you're judgmental no your judgment is skewed so i can't necessarily agree with you on that in any way so you think you look great? No, no. You think you look wonderful. I didn't say I look wonderful.

I just know that I didn't look super duper. I mean, I was glancing over a lot. Yes. I was looking like a regular person. I want the audience to see my face right now. I'm fucking flabbergasted that she believes this. You look like a regular person? No, like a regular fan person.

I'm not going to say I look. You're not a fucking fan. Yeah, but I was being a fan that night. Well, the whole point was I wanted to make eye contact so we could say hi. That was it. How old are you? Old enough. So you're 27.

Okay. I'm asking you questions that I know the answer to already. So you're 27 years old. Yes. So it's acceptable for you to look like a fucking 13-year-old at a B2K concert. But you already know the situation. I don't care about it. Yeah, but that adds to it.

No, no, no, no, no. Back to what I was saying. You reserve the right to look like a complete fucking moron. Yes. Because you do. So your male groupie friend didn't make you look crazy? Why do you keep... No, he didn't.

Why? His back was to us. It was as if the partition wasn't even on the couch. Like he wanted to be a part of their crew. That man is not here to defend himself number one right number two his actions were not nearly as noticeable they were way more no you were just sitting next to me i don't even see how you were able to notice anything else with the way you were behaving you looked wild my nigga really i didn't no really you did you looked wild oh ladies and. You looked wild, my nigga, really. I didn't. No, really, you did. You looked wild. Oh, ladies and gentlemen.

You looked wild to the point where I had to get up and stand on the couch and whisper in your ear, so what is your objective? You did ask me that. And you said what? I told you. My objective was to say hello. To fucking say hello. To say hi. But the podcasters don't understand why, and I'm not going to explain it.. But the podcasters don't understand why.

And I'm not going to explain it. You're the podcasters. They're listeners. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Well, the listeners aren't going to understand the point of that unless I gave those. And I don't want to give the whole story, but just know there was a point. It wasn't like, hey, random fan.

Hey, random rapper. Want to say hi. There's more to that. There's levels to that story, too. I think I can think of a discreet way to give this story. Because the story makes you look worse, if you want me to be honest. Yeah, well, whatever. No, let's just leave it alone.

Oh, let's just change the topic. Oh, let's just leave it alone. Let's just talk about something else. Let's just change the topic. Okay, let's do a hypothetical. And at the end of the day, we said hello. It worked. Let's do a hypothetical And at the end of the day, we said hello, it worked Let's do a hypothetical here

Men, to my male listeners Are you hypothetically discussing the situation? No, I'm not I'm off of that I'm hypothetically just discussing a lituation Okay That word is really funny But anyway

Oh, I'll use me I'm a rapper right are you sometimes um as a hobby i love it it's my passion it drives me um when i'm not doing fucking dickhead more on fan shit would you standing next to me looking at fucking other rappers but anyway i'm a rapper right if if a young harlot are you calling me i'm not talking about you nor am i talking about the situation in the event that a young harlot were to text me something something along the lines of yo i want you to fucking fuck the shit out of me and suck my dick you're amazing you're the greatest rapper in the universe not saying that that's what you did i'm not even talking about

you i'm talking about i'm even talking about you I'm talking about I'm not talking about you I'm talking about a situation and I entertained this and she came over and gave me the greatest head that I ever got in my life and then I ceased communication with this person and she was texting me every day she was fucking DMing me

on Twitter. I'm just letting you guys know this is a hypothetical because this is not my situation. She was DMing me on Instagram. This is not. She was using every fucking viable means of communication to get in touch with me. I don't know what kind of situation.

And I just ignored it. I don't know what kind of situation. Pardon me, is this your story or mine? I don't, it's a stupid story. It's a hypothetical story. A hypothetical, but like in reference to what? In reference to a relatable incident occurring that the male listeners can identify with.

But that didn't happen. I didn't say that it did. Oh my Jesus Christ, Joseph. Didn't say that it did. All right. Didn't say it did. Okay. And I, so this woman was trying her best

to get in contact with me and I ignored her. It, completely. She never heard from me again. Okay. It would be safe to assume what let me ask you what would it be safe to assume i don't hope you guessed it that he didn't ever want to speak to this bitch again in life he never wants to see this hoe. It's over. I have used you for exactly what I wanted to use you for. And now, be gone. Like fucking Patrick Swayze ghost.

It's over. Right? Wouldn't it be safe to assume that? Then it's safe to assume. And I don't know why you gave this random story. I'm not saying that that's what took place with you. Because that is not what happened. So now I have a show in Poughkeepsie.

Can we stop? Wait, I'm just telling a story. I'm tired of your hypothetical story. It didn't happen like that. Well, you would be tired of my hypothetical story. Yeah, because it's not a real story. Of course it's not. It's hypothetical.

None of these men can relate to you because they're not rappers. They don't have shows in Poughkeepsie. Okay, so let's forget about the show in Poughkeepsie. I go to a random strip club in Poughkeepsie, right? I'm balling. I'm throwing money in the sky. Why are we in Poughkeepsie. Okay, so let's forget about the show in Poughkeepsie. I go to a random strip club in Poughkeepsie, right? I'm balling. I'm throwing money in the sky. Why are we in Poughkeepsie? It's raining.

I'm the weatherman. It's the weatherman. How's the Lil Wayne song go? It's weatherman, right? No. I don't know. What song is that? I don't know.

Fireman? Oh, there's a Fireman song and there's a Make It Rain song. All right, well, whatever. I'm doing that. I'm doing all of that. I'm fucking making it rain. But money's falling from the sky. Hundreds of fucking dollar strippers is around me.

They want to come home with me. They want to suck my fucking cock. And who do I see out of my fucking peripheral? Again, I want to make this clear. This is not the story of what happened with me. Well, of course it isn't. But who do I see out of my peripheral? I see Shorty, who

was fucking obsessed with me. I... This is not... Because we have to assume that this woman is obsessed with me if I have ceased communication with her. I am being thrown so far on the bus. I'm not even talking about you. You've backed up and ran over me twice with your bus.

But I'm not talking about you. Do you know what the word hypothetical means i know exactly what it means because i have the dictionary but you're trying to relate it to my situation no i'm not these are two separate instances where did this story come from then joseph it came from my fucking mind but why what is what is the correlation i just told you because the male listeners will be able to identify with this. But why do they need to? Because it's my fucking show. Keep going. How about that?

All right. So anyway, out of my peripheral, I see this woman that is fucking obsessed with me. Men, what is supposed to happen in this instance exactly? Am I supposed to like, well, I'll ask you. What should happen? I don't know because this is a hypothetical situation and it's stupid. Am I supposed to like, well, I'll ask you. What should happen? I don't know because this is a hypothetical situation and it's stupid. I've never been in this hypothetical situation, so I don't have a hypothetical answer or a real life answer for you.

I just want to say, all right, we'll forget about this story. Thank you. This is going on too long. I just want to say that I, as a friend of yours, was very disappointed. Oh, God. You're going to hit me with a disappointed? I was disappointed. I'll just put very disappointed. Oh, God. You're going to hit me with a disappointed? I was disappointed. I was disappointed in your male friend.

I'm going to keep going back to him. And I was disappointed because, how do I explain this without sounding industry-ish? These people are my peers. Oh, Lord. I get that it may be difficult for you to These people Are my peers Oh lord I get that it may be difficult for you to See it that way Because you and I are friends

They're my peers too You know I'm in this industry If you didn't know Well that probably makes this a little worse That's why I have my intern sitting in the other room Because I have one Because I'm out here I think that you should conduct yourself

a bit better. I think you saw it completely differently than I did. So Sunday came and I tweeted this. You know you're getting old when you go out like a few days in a row and then you need time to rest.

Oh my God, I needed that too. You're 27. Okay, well it was a lot of turn up. I had just got back from Grammy weekend as well. So you have to consider I was turning up for like- Did you have sex at all? Yeah. Okay, that may be the difference.

Yeah. I didn't have any sex occur this weekend. So I really needed to rest on Sunday. I stayed and I slept like a baby alone no hoes no cuddling no nothing no just me and fucking porn hub and x videos what did happen though and i mean this may be to your mind but i'll give it anyway when you you know how the pop-up the pop-ups come up when you go on all these porn sites oh yeah they do but they usually pop up in the background so i don't ever yeah but you know what happens it pops up in the background, so I don't ever really... Yeah, but you know what happens?

It pops up in the background, and while I'm watching my porn, I can still hear the noises. The random, like, six noises on the pop-up. Oh, I finally gotcha! So it's like, you know how the old Chinese flicks when the mouth would move, but the words would be like,

it would be, it didn't sync at all? Yeah. So that's what would be happening. So I go to close the one in the back, you know they have the ads there and i did go to one of the little sites there they got me yeah but they always like as soon as you click the link it's like a billion pay for this yeah and i got out like a good site i got out of there i didn't fucking beat off to the fucking still picture that was horrible but anyway where was i going with this? Oh, yeah, so I was resting. And in doing that, I was alone. And then a friend of mine hits me and says,

yo, come to Sweet 36. It's a lituation here. Why don't all your friends use that term? You should talk to them about that. Well, you know what it is? I ask. I initiate with the term. Because if you listen to the song,

Fab is clearly telling you what a situation oh we know what and i don't want to leave my house unless it's a situation got it the problem is my friend's uh version and definition of a situation is a bit different from mine was this rory that invited yep yeah it was what now for the people that don't know rory rory is fucking 14 years old and he's fucking white with a burgundy beard and orange and he's fucking he wasn't around when fucking pock died he was learning how to walk like he wasn't like was i around he didn't you're 27 you should have been around yeah i was anyway he's not really 14 but he's young so his version of a situation was a bit different i walk in and it was just nasty it was a fucking mess

I left there and I went to Shake Shack and I fucking went home and that was my all star weekend mine was just like that I saw a couple booze I had a little Valentine's Day cuddle sesh holy shit it was Valentine's Day it was

so you fucked on Valentine's Day no it was just a cuddle sesh. Holy shit, it was Valentine's Day. It was. It was. So you fucked on Valentine's Day? No, it was just a cuddle sesh. I thought you said you just had Valentine's Day sex. I had sex, but it wasn't on Valentine's Day. I said I had All-Star Weekend sex. Wait. There was many other days on All-Star Weekend besides Saturday.

I'm confused. There was Friday, Thursday, Wednesday. They started getting in town on Wednesday. So it started from then. No, I guess my question is the person that you cuddled with, was this the same person that you had sex with? No. Oh, you're just a fucking cuddle thot, aren't you?

Yeah, I mean, we had sex in L.A., so. I don't really want to hear about all your fucking sex. You asked me. Yeah, but I just wanted like a yes or no. Like Grammy weekend, we had sex, and then he came out here, and I was was like let's just cuddle and then so we valentine's cuddled oh wait a minute so wait valentine's day i do want to talk about valentine's day really quick it was so glad it was it was really canceled it really was and it was really like even the pictures i thought there were less like gay ass photos on instagram of like oh babe bought me this

that and the third i'll be honest i was saddened by this why i was fucking thrilled i was i was bittersweet i was happy about it but it just shows where this society is headed i don't think it's that we were really in the midst of all-star weekend it's not like chicks really don't want to be booed up we guess i do. Nah. I would rather just cuddle all day and, like, not go do shit. And not go stalk rappers' Instagram pages to find out where they're going to be. And then just pop up randomly hoping to say hello to them. That is not what happened. But, yeah, no.

I do. I prefer to just be in the house and, like, cuddle and, like, cook for them even though I can't cook. But I can make French toast. So I'd like to make them the house and cuddle and cook for them, even though I can't cook, but I can make French toast. So I'd like to make them French toast and cuddle. Very random occurrence. I'm awful, Marissa, because I'm tired. Very random occurrence. You know New York is very big.

So, what? Just kidding. Shut the fuck up. Trolling. Is this face-to-face trolling? Yes. So I was on my way here to do this podcast and I was running late

and I went and grabbed me a soda and I was coming I didn't really care that I was late I stayed outside I smoked a cigarette and I see this out of my peripheral I have a great peripheral out of my peripheral I see this gentleman

he made like he was crossing the street away from me and then he made a hard u-turn once he saw me and i'm thinking it was oh my god i don't want to talk to this what's gonna wrap for me yeah he had he had uh uh two gentlemen with him and he comes right in front of me so i could no longer do my hey i don't see you i'm not gonna talk to you he's right in front of me. So I could no longer do my, hey, I don't see you. I'm not going to talk to you. He's right in front of my face. Guess who it is? Yep, you guessed it. Oh, I didn't.

No, you didn't. Oh, yay. Safari. Oh, shit. Fucking Safari. Just now, today? Yeah, just now. Jesus Christ.

He just walked right up to me. Jeez. How's he doing? Good old Safari. He's doing well. Hey, SB. He looks like he's taking good care of himself. That's nice.

Looks like he isn't really stressing over his breakup anymore, which I don't really care about, by the way. Let me tell the listeners that about me. I don't think that they know that. I don't really give a fuck about a lot of shit. You really don't. If it doesn't pertain to me, I i just try to like mind my business you do yeah so me and him talk i let him know that i saw pictures going around and him in the strip clubs

him in a couple of my spots he was in heavens he was in starlets and and he said something that i've never heard any man admit to. I'm intrigued. Guess what he said. You guessed it. Okay. He said that he loves, loves, loves big, round, fake asses. Oh. He loves it.

Well, that's not shocking at all. It was shocking to me. No. Okay. I'm not segwaying into any Nicki shit. This isn't a Nicki subliminal. What I'm saying is. The fact that he admitted it.

Even if that is true, men don't necessarily admit that so willingly. So when he said that, I was a little blown away. And then I wanted to get into his brain a little more. And I said, well, I don't really like that. Contrary to popular belief, by the way. No, you do like the natural sitch. I like a natural, round, fat, soft, jiggly. Give me the little tiger stretch marks on the side.

Those are cute. Give me a couple of thumbprints. Just a little bit of cellulite. jiggly soft jiggly give me the little tiger stretch marks on the side those are those are cute um give me a couple of thumbprints just a little bit of cellulite let me know that your weight is fluctuated from time to time right he was like no fuck that and i said well maybe a fat transfer and he was like well no not really a fat transfer because those you got to get done every so often i like the cc shots give me put them all in there that was like so i told him i wanted to discuss this with him i was gonna say did he get give you permission to just go on and be like hey safari likes big wait wait wait wait i'm 34 years old i know but i mean like did he think that it was going to be put on blast like that did he know

that that conversation was going to be i didn't like that? Did he know that that conversation was going to be him? I didn't think that him and I were speaking in confidence. Okay, well then that's all that matters. We were on the fucking street for crying out loud. And Corey was with you too, right? Yeah, Corey was there. Hey, Corey. You just fucking threw me off.

Now my fucking memory is bad. Oh, no, no, no. I told him I wanted to speak to him about this here on the podcast. Oh, you were going to bring him up. That would have been phenom. So we're coming through the door. Safari to the stage. You may have seen him on numerous blog sites.

You may have heard about him in songs. Oh, man. Has he been in songs? No. I just, I didn't know what else to say. So we exchanged information, and hopefully before he leaves New York, I will get him on this podcast. Doesn't he live in New York? No, he no longer.

Los Angeles? Edit that out. I don't know if people just want me giving their fucking address out and shit. I mean, you didn't. I think it's known that he's based in LA. Oh. He's on like TMZ every week. I guess.'s known that he's based in LA. He's on TMZ every week. I guess.

That makes sense. Why does Peter know what's on TMZ every week? Apparently he likes to read that. Peter has a few things going on with him that I just really don't understand, but I'm not going to get into it right this second. I walked into fucking Peter's house to watch How to Get Away with Murder, and I had to

fight the remote away from him because he was watching, like, Little League Baseball, like, little boys running around in tights. And I was like, whoa. Did I interrupt private time here or what?

My wife is a sideline reporter, asshole. Yeah, but it's much funnier when we don't know that bit of information. I was like, wow. Pete may have some issues. Oh. And, hey, speaking of that, anyway, that's been a-

You're a good segwayer. I just want to tell you that. Am I? You are. Because I probably suck at it. I haven't tried it, but I'm just following your lead. Well, you're great at sucking. Oh, you wouldn't know.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, I need to get like an applause thing of a jig for when I say something. You're like a whole board of sound effects. Hey, control room men. Is there any way I can get a fucking applause thing or something? You can like download it on the internet. Or should I just be fucking dry?

You should clap yourself. No, the move is going to be to download one of these programs where you can do it right on your laptop. All right. You're giving too much information to the listeners. All right, do that. They have to think the applause is real, Peter. Yeah. Okay, because there's so many people here,

so that's just how that goes. Don't be a fucking... Dick. By the way, you complimented his segue, and in doing so, ruined the segue. Yes, you did. I was going somewhere. Sorry.

Where was I? Oh. Got it. uh yeah we were going from pete being a fucking pedophile in his house watching fucking little boys um and we were going to how that is quite the issue in hip-hop right this very second pedophiles it's called pedophilia okay i was gonna say that but i wasn't exactly sure to pronounce it no the word is pedophilia and that's only an issue because uh tyga and kylie jenner and the girl kylie jenner that's a whole big web of mess um and and this is when i'm gonna go back to uh me not caring about shit because i don't care about that the whole uh kylie tiger um amber amber chloe kim who else is there kanye kim kanye your mom i care about your mom thank you she's she's cool if your mom knew how you were behaving

at last that night oh my fucking god pam was just concerned that it was snowing that's what she wanted she wanted me out of there because it was snowing. So yeah, I don't really care about all of that, but what I did notice on the timeline, because the timeline has taken the place of all news and media outlets. That's where you find out everything now.

What I did notice was that all of my favorite hoes were divided. Between Khloe and Amber. Well, I don't want to say Khloe, because Khloe was more so a representative of the Kardashians. Oh, okay.

So, and I want to be clear here, so people don't misconstrue what I'm saying, because people's interpretation skills are very poor. I've learned. And I want to clarify before you people fuck up what I'm saying. My conversation right now has absolutely zero to do with Amber or Khloe. Khloe I've hung out with on numerous occasions in various clubs in New York City. Me too. Hey, bestie.

Really cool girl. Amber, I'd love to fucking lick her fucking head. I went to dinner with her once, so we're also best friends. So yeah, this is an objective conversation that has nothing to do with either of them. But as a man, I do know the same way the Hoes love Marilyn Monroe. They love the Kardashians. I do love me some Kardashians. And I'm not a Ho, I do know the same way the Hoes love Marilyn Monroe. They love the Kardashians.

I do love me some Kardashians. And I'm not a Ho, but yeah. That's debatable. Yeah, whatever. That can be argued. And they love Amber Rose. I do love Amp. Bad bitch.

It was split down the middle. That's how I felt. I was kind of indifferent because it's so like I like them both. I get both of their sides. I'm going to just. No, i know we don't care about we don't want to take sides i just want to talk about the holes being split yeah okay go ahead and go back to the host yeah that was great they were um they were um what's the word that i'm looking for divided yeah that's a good word okay divided conflicted conflicted is a really conflicted is the word i was looking for yeah probably better that the rapper come up with the words instead of i'm a writer so we're about equal and i also used to rap don't forget why do you have an intern because i

mean i do a lot of things i do i write on a lot of different sites. I need to help with the sites. I'm putting together a college tour, a speaking engagement thing. And we have this podcast and I have a lot of different meetings. I do brand stuff for different- All right, we're not plugging your entire existence here. I'm not, I'm just saying,

these are the things that I do and this is what I need help with because I'm one human and I can't do it all by myself. That just made you sound like fucking russell simmons you can't do it all by yourself i'm just saying aren't you a fucking modern day fucking leor i'm a fucking mogul b oh mogul in the making spell mogul m-o-g-u-l yeah whatever maybe i should get an answer, a little backstory for the listeners. Oh, no, because that's going to fuck up if that shit comes out.

What are you talking about right now? You know what I'm talking about. No, I don't. You want the backstory me and not you? What? Yeah, no, because you know the thing I'm referring to. Oh, okay. If I talk about the backstory, then the person will know exact the song where i'm dissing him okay yeah that makes sense that makes sense you're an asshole i shouldn't do that you're an

i guess that's what people mean when they say i don't have a filter yeah but even that is filtered can we edit that no well you don't call a fucking edit yes i hope this song never sees the light of day it will though it's a great song and if and if that man approves it what's he gonna do fucking rap back against me what's he gonna do fucking get on the microphone and fucking spew malicious statements my way no fuck out of here he'll probably come and try to kill me oh we don't care about that oh that's nice that's super hey then he would hey then you would see him then you would see him oh touching subject for you all right all right fine we'll get off it we'll get off it we'll get

off it all right well shit since you're rushing me off of my topic now you just got to make one up no well yeah yeah i really wanted to i wanted to avoid that entire topic, like this entire, every podcast, and we got right on it right from Jump Street. Yep. How did we do that? Because I got right to it. Yeah, but you're supposed to protect me and like. You're protected. Don't you worry.

If the other night was any evidence, I don't think this guy knows you're alive. I don't think this guy knows you're alive. I don't think your existence is high on the fucking radar for this guy. Oh, my jeez. You make it sound like no one cares about me. I have a lot of boobs that do care. He just may not care. Everyone else cares.

Yo, I just be wanting to know. I had a long talk with my fucking ex Last night right Tahiri Woah Let's respect people's anonymity here Oh yeah because we really respected mine In that whole situation That's what we're doing now now we have respect

And I mean I don't have But so many exes You have like 14,000 exes No I don't have but so many exes. You have like 14,000 exes. No, I don't. No, I don't. I can count. Do it. Do it.

See, because people like to say things like that a lot. Like, oh my God, I could count them right now. And they don't ever expect you to say, we'll do it then. Okay. Ronnie. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going back.

I'm going all the way back. Are we going back to when i was 15 it doesn't matter it doesn't matter all right that counts yes that's one tahiri that's two um did you date gloria or just fucked her that gloria hey glow we're gonna just name we're naming glory no we're not no no no we're not we're floating that's not an ex of mine it does she's tied to you so that counts counts. You're tied to me. What the fuck does that mean? No, but I didn't fucking hop on your dick and ride it like a pony.

I'm sure she did. She's great, man. Yeah, exactly. I fucking love Gloria Velasquez. So there's Gloria. No, no, no. You said I had 14 exes. That's what I'm debating right now.

Okay. I'm not debating the people that I made. Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. You got it, you got it, you got it, you got it. So Ronnie, Tahiri. And I don't even think the listeners care about this, really. They do. Tahiri. That's made. Okay, alright, alright, alright. You got it, you got it, you got it. So Ronnie, Tahiri. And I don't even think the listeners care about this, really. They do. Tahiri, um, okay, wait. Esther? Uh, do we have to count that?

Yes! I was there when she fucking broke into your home. Like, I've been through Esther through and through. That'll be a great story for the next podcast. That was a great day. That was a fun day. Hey, listeners, remind me to, oh wait, y'all can't remind me of anything.

Yes, they can. They can tweet you. Oh, there we go. Shut the fuck up, Peter. Don't make a face behind... I don't even respect you after your little league. Your little league tidbit.

But anyway... Don't let him forget some IRAs. That wasn't his girlfriend. Definitely not. And I'm denying even ever having penetrated her. We saw the videos. Of me penetrating her.

What are you talking about? No, but you were like being Joey in Google the Act. Listeners, remind me to tell you about that story. Spider Woman? Yeah, Spider Woman. That's what we'll call it. That was a good day. That was amazing.

It was me and Connie. You weren't even home. Oh, you're giving away the two. What are you doing? Okay, sorry. Let's stay on course. All right,. It was me and Connie. You weren't even home. Oh, you're giving away the two. What are you doing? Let's stay on course. Alright, girlfriends. To hear you, Esther is three. Wait, I'm not counting her. No, Esther fucking counts like fuck.

You guys were a four. She got a whole song. She got an OLS. Yeah, that's true. Alright, that's true. Then that girl with the curly hair. I know you don't count it, but it happened. No, the girl before Kalen that lasted like six months. Oh, that doesn't count.

Yes, it fucking counts. That was your girlfriend. No, it was not. Yes, that was your girlfriend. Yes, that was. And you guys spent Valentine's Day together. Hey, pardon me for two. Wait, is that the prerequisite for a girlfriend? But that was your girlfriend.

And then Kalen. Hey, women. Women, to my women listeners, I know y'all are not going to want to hear this. Hey Pete, how much time have we got here? Because I got

something to say. We got 15 minutes. That's it? Yeah. It's been 45 minutes already, bro. What the fuck have we spoken about

before? About you throwing me under the motherfucking bus. That's what we do in this whole podcast. That time went really fast. So I need everyone to know that we spent this whole time dissing Marissa and that's time went really fast so i need everyone to know that we spent this whole time dissing marissa and that's our relationship well i need everyone to

know that that's probably what will be taking place every podcast but women uh to the women listeners out there i know that you guys are hardwired differently from men so let me try to help explain a few things uh um how do we do this without offending people just fucking offend them you already all right sometimes men will fuck you and not care about you i hate to be the bearer of bad news but that will take place probably multiple times in your life if you're attractive there. Okay. Now, that's not for you to be upset at or get offended at. Okay. You just got to kind of respect the game.

I respect it. So now, there's a grand scheme here. Just follow me. Just follow me. I'm following. Now, when a man is fucking you and just wants to continue to penetrate

you, he may sometimes mislead you. I've been down that path recently. Now, I'm of the mind that if you want to continue to penetrate this person, sometimes you will create a a what's the word i'm

looking for facade and we can go with that the word i had in my head was better you create this facade this false reality this girl that marissa is referring to with the curly hair that's what that was yeah yeah i may have said to her hey you're my girlfriend but in real life nah she wasn't my girlfriend yeah you got out of here pretty quick yeah there was like no emotional no nothing i was looking for an exit women sometimes men will look for an exit because we don't want to be the bad. We don't want to be viewed as the bad guy, even though we really are. Now, if you guys would like more information about that, you can remind me later.

I'm here to help people be. I think I need this help. No, you need a lot more help than that. You need a fucking chastity belt fucking tied around your fucking badge at all times. But anyway, so we are at Esther Tahiri and... Curly hair. No, no, we're not counting her. So we're at three.

And Kaylin. Kaylin is four. Might be all I got. What do you got? What about... Oh, shit. Eh. No. Eh. No.

Nah. By the way, she's my homie. That was just suggested in the room. No, that is so yes. Thank you. Thank you, room. Shout out to the room. It's not room.

Thank Rory. No. Because Corey's not even like that to fucking say that. It was actually Corey. It was actually Corey. Shout out to Corey. I don't believe it. Shout out to...

That was my boo. That was my... Between her and Kaylin, those are like my faves of yours well first of all i mean i love to hear you too hey terry i don't know if we can say that that we were ever a all right this is what happened you were referring to her as your summer girlfriend in the summer of 2011 hold on and then when i got with my dumb ass ex-boyfriend at the time who became who's my boyfriend you were like what the fuck marissa has a fucking significant other and i don't know and i have to make this my real situation and then you made it your real situation

and then you you extended her contract you kept talking about extending her contract to the fall and you did and then it kind of just filtered off a little bit. And then, you know, then you guys went your separate ways. And then Kaylin came the next summer. I don't like that version. That is the fucking version. I was there. I was there. And you can't tell me any different.

I will attest to that. I will bet my life saving. That was a pretty non-offensive version. It really is. It was a pretty very happy. I don't like when my business is. Oh, but we love when Marissa's is, right? Well.

My business is sacred. In my defense. No. But anyway, summer was coming. Yep. And I was doing like a weird reverse thing. You know how people normally get a situation in the wintertime? Because I didn't have one in the wintertime.

And because I had wanted to penetrate quite some time. I've got a funny story, by the way. Hey, remind me about, you know, a lot of,

and I, um, uh, were intimate a long time ago. Right. And a long time before the summer, way before the, yeah,

I knew that answer. I was just saying way before the summer. And it was one of those things where, you know, you ever meet somebody where you're anxious for the act to take place?

Yes. So I may have been overly anxious. And I had a bad night at the gym. I had a bad night at the gym I had a really bad night you don't go to the gym no no no

he didn't perform well Marissa what a fucking dodo oh my oh my god I fucking I don't even think I hit the backboard on a lot of these shots I might have been throwing the ball in the fucking stands I don't even think I hit the backboard on a lot of these shots.

I might have been throwing the ball in the fucking stands. This was a really, really, really bad night for me. But I was tired. I mean, and I'm a rapper, so you can get away with it sometimes, right? Honestly, yeah, probably. So after that horrible, oh, my God. I almost owe that girl an apology for that night. But I don't know where my headspace was because I was unaware. You know, as men, we are self-centered.

So we don't really look at, we don't really think about how the woman is taking this in. So anyway, after this bad night at the gym, I may have spent the next nine months trying to do it again. Trying to redeem myself. Because first of all, I don't even give the best dick on the first go anyway. I think that's a no-no. You give like B minus? C plus. C plus.

What did you give my friend? Because she really liked it. I'm not admitting to doing anything with my friend, by the way. What friend? Yeah, the soft friend that we referred to in the beginning. Oh, my God. I'm going to throw him under the motherfucking bus right now. Cut her, Michael.

We're going to cut her, Michael, right now. You're going to do this to me? Hypothetically, if I had a friend that I've been best friends with since the first grade that comes around all the time, and then we all went to get drunk together one night. No, I'm stout, though, because I don't want to get drunk together one night. Now I'm stopped, though. Because I don't want to throw you under the bus. Go on. You made me lose my entire train of thought.

Good. Oh, so I spent the next eight months. I didn't even know Marissa had friends, by the way. By the way, I have a lot of friends. Everyone fucking loves me. So I spent the next nine months trying to get back in that pussy. Shout out to K-Camp. I really do like that You Owe Me Some Pussy song.

I don't know it. And I do feel like I should have... You don't know that song? No. I do feel like I should have came up with that song because I feel like that on many occasions.

Do you have any Ty Dolla sign? He sings about pussy. You could probably just play that. Oh, look what the fuck you... Marissa, when you see me doing something, I need you to kind of take over the microphone.

I told you I'm not good at segues. Alright, but it's over for you. I found the song. Feel like you owe me that pussy. Oh yeah. This is beautiful. You don't know this song? No, this is uncomfortable. I can relate to this song.

Sitting here with a room full of people looking at me and singing about... Well, nobody feels like you owe them pussy. Okay, well, look. But anyway, I spent the next eight to nine months trying to redeem myself and getting that pussy. And she was curving me badly. Oh, I have a man. Oh, I'm painting my house.

Oh, I just bought a tiger that I'm walking. They were horrible curves. Really bad curves. So that summer that Marissa speaks of in 2011, it really was one of the best summers ever. And I got in that thing again. Didn't you? Did you ever? Man, oh man.

Was I Kobe against the Raptors? Whoa. Was I Kobe with Jalen on him? 81? Huh? It was 81. With two assists. Oh my. Were you guys alive in 81? Did I beat... 81 points, Marissa.

I beat that thing to a pulp. Alright, alright. She just looked... Remember earlier? Remember she's not here to defend herself. She had like an extra coat of glossiness over her pupils when she looked at me. We're doing too much here.

We're done. Well, no, we ain't doing too much. No. She fucking lay there helpless and submissive while I walked around. No. I got up and went and got a sandwich.

No, this doesn't feel good. Smoked. Shut up. Took a drive. All right. The point remains that that was his girlfriend so no it wasn't so anyway she looked at me and said she said wow do her accent i don't remember just met spanishy

she said no i can't do it don't oh she said she said whoa i would have never thought. I would have never thought. That we would have been able to have. That we would have been able to have. Such amazing sex. Such amazing sex, y'all. Shut the fuck up. That was her voice. She said, because I always looked at you like the bad dick guy.

Yikes. Wait. Well, first impressions are usually the last thing. Well, even though I did give her some bad dick as a man, it just didn't dawn on me that a woman could look at me that way. Absolutely. There's guys I would never, ever answer the phone for again. And then there's guys that you would pop up randomly wherever they say they're going to

be on Instagram. Or not. So anyway, so yeah, that was my summer boo. Contrary to popular belief, I don't go around slinging dick. You don't? I just don't. Like, typically when I am intimate with someone, that is the person that I remain intimate with exclusively without the title. No, you know, actually that's normally how these mistake relationships come about

because you end up sleeping with someone that you're just platonic with consistently and quote unquote exclusively and then that person develops all these fucking feelings and think you're their fucking boyfriend and all this. yeah i mean you because you're like mr fucking lover boy i watch you i watch you in action i watch you shen you were very attentive you learn their quirks you learn little things about them you make them feel very special you're very like in your faith you look people in the eye when you speak to them you You're very, like, grabby, touchy. So I'm an adult. No.

So I was raised right. You make these bitches fall in love, and then you wonder why they, why. Well. Oh, wait. Oh, I missed a girlfriend. Fucking the last bitch. Audley or whatever her name is. That doesn't count.

Audley, I don't know her surname. That doesn't count at all. No, that fucking counts. That was fake. Nope. No, you were on TMZ for it, so it counts. No, it was still fake. Nope. TMZ relationships are totally wrong. So we're at four, just, that fucking counts. That was fake. Nope. No, you were on TMZ for it, so it counts. No, it was still fake. Nope.

TMZ relationships are totally fake. So we're at four, just so we're clear. No, you just made up a number right now. No, we're at the number that we said we were at. Ronnie, Tahiri, Kaylin, Esther, Curly Hair. No, we didn't count Curly Hair. I don't care anymore, honestly. But four, and for a 34-year-old man, that's not bad, so I'm unsure about how I got this

reputation of being this big hoe-ass nigga. Because we can name a bunch of other bitches that you just slang dick for. No, you can't. Yeah, you can. No, you can't. I could, but that's just me telling on you. But I could. Could you?

Yeah. I know shit. Do it. I see shit. No. Let's see it. Do it. Do it right now.

Do it right now. No, I would never. Exactly. So shut the fuck up then. Anyway. And now you've ruined my fucking point again. Good. Because it wasn't pointless.

Where was I going? It doesn't matter. The show's about to be over. No, but I was going somewhere. You're here now. We're here. So let's just sign off. I don't like that sign off.

No, I feel like. I don't like the sign off with us having conflicting stories about my number of fucking girlfriends. You have mad girlfriends. No, that was four. You're a 34-year-old rapper. That's decent looking, I guess, if you're looking at you drunk with one eye closed. I'm not rolling with any of this. I know what that means.

Peter and fucking London Man are giving me the time signal. london man are giving me the uh the time signal rory inviting dominican fours around thinking that he's doing me a favor because i may want to penetrate these women does absolutely nothing for for me at all and i need to explain that to people and stupid me my virgo self feels like people should know some of these things without me having to explain them. Wait, is Rory taking a picture of you and you're trying to look candid? I'm like posing. So what are you doing? You look like a fucking nut.

I was just trying to have like a thin jawline. So I was trying to talk. Oh man. So wait, so when I was speaking to my ex yesterday, right? We have to go. Oh no, I'm still. So when I was speaking to my ex yesterday, right? We have to go. Oh, no, I'm still talking.

No. When I was speaking, it's my show. You don't run shit here. I know, but you're going to. Okay. All right. So you and your interviewer intern, can your intern that's not an intern, y'all can leave. And I can fuck.

Rosenberg taught us that it should only be like an hour each time. Because I am a teacher. Like KRS-One. So anyways, KRS-One is a teacher. You probably don't know who that is because you're 14 years old. No, I do know because Nelly dissed him in a song one time. Wow.

That is why you know KRS-One. I know who he is. And this is the problem with hip-hop today, B. These young whippersnappers are fucking shit up but we'll talk about hey listeners remind me to talk about that

at another time too but anyway real quick before we go before we go Snapple fact right I'm full of stories

aren't I while I was talking to my ex yesterday and she was throwing all these fucking subtle shots at me for being over her and not paying her any money

and she was trying to figure out who Bae is because I keep talking about her Bae but Bae is never around so now she just laughs at me for being over her and not paying her any money she was trying to figure out who bae is because i keep talking about her bae but bae is never around so now she just laughs at me because i keep calling her and bae doesn't know that me and her talk whatever it's really messy but anyway um uh she said yeah i saw some picture i saw some picture who's your who's bae marissa because you was bent leaned over tying her shoes you was tying her shoes. You was tying her shoes. And I'm like, look at this bitch ass nigga. He ain't never tied my shoes. So in my head, I was like,

well, why would anybody, anybody that knows me knows I would never fuck Marissa. So why would somebody, I would never fuck Joe, but I don't know if everybody knows. Gross.

But anyway, so in my head, I was like, maybe I need to explain to people why, because I didn't know that was tweeted out. Yeah. Waller alert posted it. Yeah,

I know. Yeah. I'm going to talk about that. i didn't sign off on that one but anyway before we go let me just explain to people in this picture what was going on we were walking in the freezing cold freezing marissa's timberland was untied it was a boot marissa had on what's the shit that women wear when they want to hold in all the fat and make men think that they're skinnier than they really are. And then we take them home

and then we're totally shocked that we got some fat bitch in our crib. Oh my God, I'm not fat. I didn't say you were. Okay. Because we got some fat bitch in our crib

that looks nothing like what we kicked it to in the first place. I already said it's a faja, so would you stop describing it? What's it called? A faja. A faja.

First of all, it doesn't even sound like you should be wearing anything called a faja. You're fucking white. Even though your last name is Mendez, you are white. No. You are. I'm mixed. Oh, my God.

Anyway, so Marissa had this faja on, and it was so tight that she couldn't bend over. So when she said, hey, I have to tie my shoe, but i can't bend over because i want to find it sucking all the energy out of me and the blood can't move i was the good friend and i bent over and tied her shoe and then like the backstabbing fucking cunt she is i didn't take a picture she fucking says yo take a picture of this right now we're gonna tweet it out look at this bitch ass nigga bent over tying my shoe like you can't even help people so that will be the last that will be the last time oh listen i may embellish a little bit a little bit for the sake of the story but that will be the last time that we ever tie marissa's shoe and it will be the last time that

we ever go to the strip club with marissa that other rappers are going to be at. And it's going to be a lot of last times with Marissa and I. Thank you, Joe. I had a wonderful show. You did. This was great. This was wonderful. This kind of flew by. It did.

It's almost like a therapy session when you want to keep talking to them and then you can't. It's like Seinfeld. It's like a podcast about nothing. That's exactly right. And people who are listening on SoundCloud should be searching for the podcast on iTunes so they can subscribe there. It'll be available on iTunes shortly. Were we supposed to say that?

Okay, should I say that? Or was it fine for you to say that? I think you should now say it. Okay. Yeah, for the people that want to. No, for the people that are listening to this on SoundCloud, you should also search this on iTunes because it will be up shortly. And you can subscribe to all things us. It's not an us, my nigga.

It's me and it's you. Oh, that's not nice. We're not a tandem. We are. No. We should do like a photo shoot together and do like some back-to-back like from the 90s kind of like. Yeah, where I'll have a microphone in my hand. You'll fucking have a fucking dildoate and Ashley Olsen dildoing

oh my Jesus anyway that's disgusting listen this was great this was real I want to thank all you beautiful people out there I had a blast

okay this is not a Grammy speech I would not never won a Grammy and let me just say the one time that I was nominated for a Grammy

oh was I fucking robbed that was my first album alright story time real quick real. That was my first album. All right. Story time. No, real quick, real quick. It was my first album. I was so proud to be nominated. And these fucks pittance.

And the nominees are Joe Budden, Eminem, 50 Cent, Jay-Z, anyone else that's way more amazing than Joe Budden? Fucking Barbra Streisand. Everybody was now... I had no shot of winning that thing. Barbra Streisand. But I'd take my fucking nomination and try. Have you ever been nominated for anything?

The answer's no. I one time won a layup contest. There's not a head award. That wasn't... You don't even not a head award. That wasn't. You don't even. A head award. All right. That was funny. It was not funny.

I'm out. All right, fine. We're gone. Good night. One.