The Joe Budden Podcast - I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 45

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

We were blessed by the Queen Cardi B! During this episode we dig a bit deeper into Cardi's past, present, and future; as well as put Mari in the confessional with the Queen herself during story time. Pay close attention the gems that were dropped during this episode

This episode is brought to you by Bevel, the first and only shaving system designed specifically for coarse curly hair or sensitive skin. Start shaving smarter and say goodbye to razor bumps with Bevel. Check out GetBevel.com today. Use code Joe to get 20% off your first month at GetBevel.com. That's G-E-T-B-E-V-E-L dot com. Are we recording? Well, are we rolling right now? Are we rolling?

Because I can't hear Austin. Austin, are we recording? Yes. We're now? Are we rolling? Because I can't hear Austin. With the homies? Austin, are we recording? Yes. We're recording, but they got to be recording. So it's only when they start that you guys start. Oh. What Austin said. Are y'all recording?

Oh, sorry. So they're recording. Oh, shit. So we're the assholes. Well, all right. All right. Can you give us a better all right? All right.

All right. Here we go. I will name this podcast later. Episode number 47. That was a guess. No, that was 45. Why are you so off? She's right.

It was 45. Can I have a shot? Of course. Thanks. Episode number 45. I will name this podcast later. I'm your host, Joe Budden. This is fucking Marty the Body to the right of me.

And Michael Roars to the left of me. That was the worst shot I've ever seen. I went all down my chin and on my shirt. Well, wait a minute. He wasn't the first. Wait a minute.

Rory has, what is this? A flask of Hennessy? No, it's a little personal. Is that a pint of Hennessy? It's a little personal. The hood calls it personal. Can I wipe my mouth

on this? I'm very far removed from anything that the hood does. So save that for your Henny Palooza friends. Uh, that's December 26th. It's going down.

Tickets available now. VIP tickets are sold out. Look at Chris Paul. Look at Chris Paul. Yo, me, me and, uh,

someone who's very dear to you both want to know exactly what you do with Henny Palooza. Cause I don't know. I also want to know. I asked him and Sam said, you know what, to be honest, I don't know.

That's, that's a lie. She didn't know when I asked her. She very well knows. She didn you know what, to be honest, I don't know. That's a lie. She didn't know when I asked her. She very well knows. She didn't know two weeks ago. She's there all the time. I know. She said she goes there and you're on stage.

That's because it's more attractive when she holds it down. That's why. So you're the stage kicker off her? You have dimples? Yeah, I'm the muscle. Yes. 45 weeks. She didn't realize I had dimples.

Well, he was the muscle at my birthday party too. Yeah, man. Where was I on your birthday? In LA? Somewhere being a thought. Probably. Okay, so this is episode number 45.

I feel like there's a lot to fucking catch up on. Is there? Is there? Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. Please put a dollar in the old man's hat.

You hear that song? I'm seeing more and more people say that they ran off on the plug twice. Where is this from? Who does that? Put a dollar in the old man's hat You hear that song? I'm seeing more and more people say That they ran off on the plug twice Where is this from? Who does that mean? I have no idea I was about to ask you what that was

I ran off on the plug Sounds like a future bar I think it might be a Ply song I'm not sure what it is But a lot of people are saying that Repeat it again I ran off on the plug twice Does that mean they stole from the plug And ran away? Yes, that's exactly what that means Well, why would the plug sell to them After they ran off on the plug twice Does that mean they stole from the plug

And ran away Well why would the plug sell to them After they ran off on the first one I don't really get it I don't know Now I'm very excited about that So I was one of the people that was Let me get right into it

I was one of the people that was watching Miss Universe While football was on I was I Miss Universe while football was on. I was. Okay. I'm not afraid. I'm not ashamed to admit that to the world.

That's fine. There's pretty women up there. Talented pretty women. Yeah, but you know, you're supposed to watch football when football's on if you're a man. I was watching football. Well, yeah, because I'm gay. But whatever. We found that out last week.

Well, shit, I don't know about last week. What happened last week? You admitted that you were fag like four times. Did I'm gay. But whatever. We found that out last week. Well, shit, I don't know about last week. What happened last week? You admitted that you were fag like four times. Did I? Yeah. Oh, whatever. So I was watching this show and when Steve Harvey did the fuck shit, I'm not really sure why this is as big of a deal. Well, no, that's not true.

I am aware of why this is. Yeah. But what I'm saying is there are very conflicting reports with this. Apparently, there's a Snapchat story that someone that was deleted from the Miss Universe account. Oh, look at this pretty girl. Hi there, y'all. What the hell is going on in the universe here? I feel like we all dressed down.

Where are you going tonight? This regular shmegular thing right here. Regular degular shmegular? My boo's not even out now. Hold on now. Let's simmer down. Sit down, baby. Please have a seat, boo.

Sit down. Do you need water, Hennessy? No, hold up. I don't need her to say a word. Now, hey, mere peons of the universe, Rory, Madi, the body, and myself included. We are fortunate and blessed enough to have- Let us say a prayer.

To have the queen here. Cardi Christ. Cardi Christ. Our most prominent- We speak very highly of you. Our most prominent guest ever. The most high.

Stop flattering me. Stop flattering me. A power greater than you and I and all of us combined. Did you feel it when she walked in? Yes. Your energy is tangible, baby. Joel Osteen who?

We have the great, the honorable Cardi B with us in the building. We don't have sound effects, so we'll just do this. It's funny because we were talking about the Miss Universe pageant, but fuck all them bitches. And then Miss Universe walks in.

Now, this is pretty good. I personally have a lot of shit that I would like to ask. I don't know about you two. I just want to talk about your song because I fucking love the Boom Boom remix. No, no, no. I play it every day. We're going to talk about Cardi's song. We're going to talk about your song because I fucking love the Boom Boom remix. No, no, no. I play it every day. And we're going to talk about Cardi's song. We're going to talk about your song. No, I'm not talking about my song.

No, I am. No, that is the remix. I'm up on the remix of the remix. Yeah, that's true. Now, you look ravishing right now, all covered up. Oh, I think you are. What the fuck is this? What's going on? You look like fucking You came from Egypt

Or some shit Oh you know what I'm saying I didn't want to be like Overdressed because It's like you know I don't want people to be like Why she always got her titties out And all that

And you know what I'm saying Like I was like Let me just go Well you probably picked The wrong place To not have titties Yeah we love titties Titties are welcome here

Yeah titties Yeah but we've seen Cardi B's titties a million times Yeah I mean Different in person I suppose We've seen them in person's titties A million times Yeah Different in person I suppose Have we seen him in person

Oh yeah Actually no I think about it Yeah we have We've seen him in person A million times Oh at the club Shout out to us

Yeah we've Been there We've been there To witness Greatness Remember when Remember LeBron's First game

In Sacramento It was That's what happened When Cardi danced We've seen the ascension here Me and Joe were there early in the last years Very early We see Joe at Tampa

Me and Joe were In the corner throwing no money With no women By ourselves Eating like chocolate cake Or lasagna or some shit Lust has great lasagna They do really

Do they? Hell yeah And Starlet And Starlet It's the same people I think But listen now So I'm one of the many people That feel like

Mona and Steph And the whole crew over there Madi, Lauren That they're not letting Your greatness flourish. This is how I feel. That's how I feel. I mean, I didn't think that

their plan was for me to be a real big cast member. And then you kind of eclipsed that shit. Yeah, until they see, like, yeah. Like taking over Social media Yeah And I thought that to myself Watching the show After the first episode aired

I text all of them In a group chat And I said Fam Just let me know When Queen Cardi Is airing please And it was like next week

Yeah for the record I made this happen Thank you everybody Shut the fuck up Thank you Thank you Oh my god Don't you just despise

People who just need Credit credit Make sure to throw that Out there We gotta fix your Credit report So I thought that And here I am

Watching all of this Shit last night I really love Remy and Papoose Right I do They are great Episode two They were good too

They're great And I really love How Pap is coming off But They're not letting You know what I mean I know you wasn't even In the first episode

Come on Yeah Yeah Yeah But they really might not Have realized I don't think What they had on their hands

I don't believe for one second This you and self bullshit Let me say that I'll be the first I'll be the first person To say that Like Isn't she not allowed

Well she can't That's what I'm saying She can't say that But we have no time Monday 8 o'clock Oh Monday 8 o'clock We know the media training They pitch you to Yeah Yeah. Monday 8 o'clock. Oh, Monday 8 o'clock. We know the media training they pitch you to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks. Monday 8 o'clock. And it's not that you're not a good actress. It's that Self is a horrible actor. Self, yeah. I mean, just from guy code, I'm watching this shit last night. Self is sitting in the crib on FaceTime with you, who most would argue might be one Top five loudest women

Period You loud Why would I be FaceTiming Loud ass Cardi B With my bitch upstairs So now I'm FaceTiming Loud ass Cardi Oh I wanna

Oh when I'ma see you Yo Whatever the fuck she saying Right And here come the Spanish bitch Walking downstairs Like my nigga Really

Really this is what's happening You know what I'm saying I don't know I know I got it I got it They gonna sue me so let's so you know you're retired from stripping yeah which I don't believe for a second

now everybody retires when they do this shit yeah but like Nylee fucked it all up the last time I danced was on my birthday because you know I'm about to I had to go at that birthday Shmoney I was just about to say I've seen Nylee have Nylee who's also on Love and Hip Hop I've seen Nylee have At least seven Birthday slash

I'm retiring from The strip game parties In my lifetime At least seven of them I mean you know what I say that I'm retired Because my manager Has told me

And have promised me That you will not go back to the strip club. Because I am not ever, because I'm a very realistic and a very negative person, to be honest with you. And I am not the type of person to be like, oh, I retired from the strip club. I'm going to be good. Because, you know, people suffer casualties. And I feel like I don't ever want to be that day that I be like, damn, I'm last to my

my last 5,000. Gotta go back to the strip clubs and I make myself like a dickhead going back to it. But I'm taking my manager's words. I'm not. It's not because of me. I'm taking my manager's words.

Like, I am believing in him. Is Stevie J your manager? No. Because he had the same promise. Nah, my manager is a big old new york og oh then i won't i won't say anything wrong so because of him that's why i'm saying it if he did if he wouldn't promise me that oh and i'm not fucking my manager just in case i wouldn't i wouldn't say it out my mouth because i because i seen that i've been there where

strippers be like i'm not going back to strip clubs and i see them again and then you know the niggas in the strip club be like stupid little bitch and i'll be damn if i be that stupid little bitch that they you know how you know they talk about yeah hail the queen man queen cardi man i'm trying to tell you man that's the gems every word out of her mouth no it on a meme But okay so With your With your recent Whatever the phrase is This is fame really

Attention I'm not gonna say that The change in your life It's more depth to it than just like fame and all of that Bullshit Ascension is a good word we'll stick with that so with your ascension now your manager promises you that but you still fly with a bunch of hoes in the strip club your best friend's a stripper yeah so how has that scene treated all

of this is what i want to know um because i've seen it before where like now you're hosting in the spots that you used to work at. Yeah, I mean like, you know, I'm, you know, I start, I've been hosting though. I've been hosting ever since like I reached

like the 200,000 followers on my Instagram. But like the hosting money is never enough. Like me, it's never enough. Like to this day, I make so good, so good money hosting. enough. Like me, it's never enough. Like to this day, I make so good money hosting.

I host like what, two, three nights a week? But it's like, yeah, I make money these three days. I could have made seven. I could have made money these seven days a week. Like I'm just, it's something about hustle. It's something about feeling like seeing the money getting in your hands. Like, you know, before, like right now, I see the deposits in my bank. about hustle it's something about feeling like seeing the money getting in your hands like you know before like right now i see the deposits in my bank is is different than seeing the money on

the floor yeah and very different tax free very different i i get that i like it i like it i'm in and i will never like Discriminate like The hustle that fed me When I ain't had shit Or that made me Or that made me realize How men are You know what I'm saying?

Like So but now Bitches hated you Before you got on TV Oh yeah you know I'm an annoying ass bitch I'm annoying So you know what I'm saying?

No not you We don't think you're annoying I don't The queen Queen Cardi can't be annoying Oh no She does no wrong Hush your mouth

Blasphemy speaking Foolishness on Christmas week On Cardi week It's your birthday on the 25th No It is now You know You know what

I don't really I've been seeing those posts That like they put my face In Jesus name Yes And I don't I don't feel like reposting it Like it's like

Oh well thank you I'm flattered But it's just like Like God doesn't like that So it's just like You have a great relationship with God From my understanding From the interviews I've seen

Has that conflicted In your occupation In the past and your plan now? Look at Rory. No, that was an intelligent question. What the fuck? What? What was that? Wait.

Calm down. I'm just getting started. Did you bring out the sweat? No, I blacked out. What happened? Did I say something? That damn Rosetta Stone is working. No, that was a good question. So, in your dark, intellectual, eternal past, Tell, what happened? Did I say something? That damn Rosetta Stone is working. That's taking too long.

No, that was a good question. So, in your dark, intellectual, eternal past, does it ever conflict with your current? According to Romans 1 and 12. Shut the fuck up, Rory. All right, but good question, though. You know what? Like, a lot of people be like, oh, you talk about God, you talk about Jesus, but you a stripper and you show your ass and all that bullshit. But it's like, I feel like everybody sins.

It's just people sin in different ways. And you know what? God put me in these paths for a reason. For example, when I had a regular job and I got fired, I feel like God put, this man told me, yo, you should go to a strip club. And me being in the strip club, like I networked a lot. I networked a lot. A lot of stories that I say or these little videos that I get on my Instagram is from the strip clubs. And it's from the men in the strip club.

And it is what bitches go through. And it put you in the position to be where you are now. And the same people that are commenting about that are the ones that are having premarital sex and doing all the type of shit anyway that the Bible says isn't right either. So who are they to say that? Yeah, or cursing or judging. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Time out, time out, time out, time out, time out. Who are you to say that God doesn't love all his children?

I don't want to snatch your mic. Too much positivity and God shit going on right now. I hate to be that guy. But yeah, we're going to get off of that while you guys have your estrogen moment. We're going to curve that shit. We love moment We're gonna curve that shit We love God You guys love God We love God Shout out to the most high

Now I have been around at least Four different hoes right Who at different times They just randomly Scroll your Instagram And Watch your videos Watch your videos

I do that all the time. I'm not a hoe, though. So five hoes who do this, right? So I almost have that fucking, I don't know how many listens that Dental Work vid got. Oh, I'm going to take the bag to team.

But I've heard it, I swear to God, at least 55 fucking times. I didn't even thought it was going to be that crazy. I just did it for fun. Nah, nah, you planting them in the streets, my G. You know, a lot of people be telling me like, bitch, why you don't fix your teeth? Oh, don't you make money to fix your teeth and all that bullshit? So, you know, I just be joking around with it.

Like, I just be cracking jokes about it. I didn't thought it was going to be that serious. Like, you know what I'm saying? So, why you punch the bitch In the face On TV Well on TV Because I seen you do it Online too

But don't talk about TV You know like That poor innocent girl She stood up to me And you know I got small hands I'm a very small girl And she a little bigger than me So it's like

Oh snap She bigger than me And she punch me I might get knocked out So I got to hit her first. I always say people first. Gems. Gems from Queen Cardi.

Gems, yo. We're not worthy. I'm just listening. I don't even want to talk. Is it Sunday? Jesus. She's taking us right to church, huh? So where does the Cardi B story start?

I want to go from the beginning because you've been doing a lot of interviews just about love and hip hop. Where do we begin? Where are you from? I go from the beginning because you've been doing a lot of interviews just about love and hip-hop where do we begin where are you from i'm from the bronx grand concourse are you from the grand concourse no i'm not from grand concourse i'm like around the four line area so like you know hybrid which area is that like you know where it is you know where it is uh what was your family life like two-parent household one-parent household um i'm on fucking couples therapy all over yeah what the fuck is i want to dig deep i want to

figure out the core you know what i have a very strict mother i have a very strict mother she's very religious but she's just very beautiful so but she's very strict. But I have a father that loves bitches. And I have a dad that cheats on my mom. Oh, they're still together? No, no. He just cheated on my mom so much. And it's just like, damn, I don't ever want to have a man like that. And there was a point that my dad was just supporting my mom,

and she told me, sometimes I can't leave your father because he's all I have. Damn, man. So it's just like, that's why I don't ever feel like I want to depend on a man. There's guys that have money, and they just want me to just be there. I can't, because if you leave me for a younger bitch or a badder bitch Or like I scare you off Because I be scaring niggas off Is that you gonna leave me And I'm gonna end up with what? Right

That's why I get my own So you realized this at a young age Did you go to high school? Yes I graduated high school And I saw you said That you kind of started messing up though Oh where'd you go to college?

I went to BMCC Nice okay But you said it was like a guy That was kind of like Taking your attention away Yeah and I was just Cutting Class

Cutting school Just as someone Who's listening from the outside Not giving very much input This shit sounds way too mature Fuck you We want to We want to understand

How she's got her You guys You two are real losers You're a fucking loser We got Cause we're interested In our guests I want to know about

Cardi's mind No just because of y'all sound. Y'all sound like fucking... You want me to say it in a British fucking accent? Let's talk about her Instagram that we both see. I know that you had a guy that you was just chasing after in high school. And then he kind of just threw you off a little bit. Yeah, in high school, I messed up a lot.

But then, you know, I graduated. And then I was in college and everything, right? But when I started going to college, that's when I got kicked out of my mother's house, and I had a regular job. I couldn't balance my regular job working in Amish Market as a cashier. Amish Market's a good market. Yeah, it's a good market. They got some good organic shit up in there. Fresh produce there.

I couldn't I couldn't like Balance out My classes And And Making the The money Like I just couldn't

So I fucked up Then I started stripping Who introduced you to stripping? It's me Shit is lit I got fired From Amish Market

And the manager Fuck them And they First star First stripping At Amish Market Told me like you should go to New York Dolls

oh so your first strip club wasn't an urban strip club so what do you think the difference is between stripping at like a midtown strip club and an urban strip club well one downtown you wear gowns and it's more about like

are you going there tonight? no more beautiful sexy gowns and it's more about are you going there tonight yeah right is that what this is for no more beautiful sexy gowns and you know you just have to talk to a guy more and you know what like the guys that go downtown to the strip clubs they um they like businessmen they walmart guys and everything they know when the economy is a little fucked up so they won't go wall street niggas in the hood they don't give a fuck they won't go. Wall Street. Niggas in the hood, they don't give a fuck. They don't care if shit is down,

if the drug's down. They still gonna go to Walmart. What side conversation do y'all fucking have right now? Well, now it's Walmart. They think about their money. You know what? Cardi says it got jammed

and it's Walmart. You better believe it. They're from Walmart now. What on earth are y'all talking about over here? Because Cardi said it. Walmart investors and everything. Wall Street. over here Because Cardi said Walmart investors And everything

Walmart It's the same shit Walmart investors Wall Street Owns Walmart They do They do own Walmart I love this

I almost died In a white strip club There was a guy That he really It was this One of the guys That I ever made Much money for

He worked for like That Walmart thing So it just Caused my mind Oh okay Oh like corporate He was real corporate So the old booze

Still linger in the brain That's nice They not booze They guys that like You know that you remember That spend a lot of money Because That spend a lot of money

They paid your rent That couple of months Yeah But your man now is in jail Yeah How long has he got going How much longer He been in there

For like a year And like months, like five months. He probably got like two more years. It ain't nothing. You really think you want to stay with him? Yeah. Despite everything coming your way now, he's handling it okay too? Yeah. I mean, it's a little different.

She's a phony bitch? No. I got less time for him. That's a lot. Yeah. I got less time to give him and everything but it's like i know that's the guy i wanna i wanna be with i know it you're gonna fuck self up when you come out right oh y'all had to add that talk y'all had that 100 that's so she's gonna come out fake

when he get out no no no no that 100 real quick i get it I get it You can't say anything I know I know I know How did you meet this gentleman? I can see your face When you talk about him Hey

You know what I'm saying Like after After I was 19 I don't All I do is work So all I do is be in the club So ain't no like So you met him in the club?

Yeah In the strip club Okay That's it Hey in the club so ain't no like so you met him in the club yeah okay no she said it and now you're on to love and hip-hop do you feel like they're trying to make you like the jocelyn of love and hip-hop like they're trying to mold you to be i'm starting to see that a little bit and it's just like i don't like that because i feel like my my life my life my personality is way more popping than anything that you could ever try to make me. I feel like they're trying to do a lot of comparisons because the whole Cat Stack situation, too. I'm not that bitch at all.

And then she was legitimately upset that you were claiming the hoe title because she feels like she's a, quote unquote, real hoe because she worked the strip or whatever. I don't sell pussy. I don't sell pussy Like I don't sell pussy It's that niggas Want to spend money on me And they gonna spend it Like I just feel like That bitch want attention

And I don't even want to Talk about little Dusty Let's be perfectly clear See and this would be my problem With like people That just watch interviews And read blogs Like that

I watched that Cat Stacks interview That girl's just Sitting there lying Yeah like About shit Fuck you mean And she was like

All of that shit Was scripted Yeah all the World star stuff Was scripted But no she She has to Because it's part

Of the indictment I don't even want To talk about that bitch That bitch need to Go battle AIDS Not me Fuck you mean bitch Nah

So did Queen Cardi Did Mona reach out To you Or did someone You know on the show Reach out to you Or did someone you know On the show Reach out to you How did this

Love and hip hop thing Come to play Self reached out Self was like Yo I'm on this show With my girl But my girl whack

So My story kinda weak You can turn this shit up And get this shmug Yeah yeah yeah Basically Shmeggla deggla Basically Shmeggler degular Right

Shmeggler degular Shmeggler girl in the Bronx Bringing it Yeah I know I know that's not how it happens You can't say that No I know I know Just wink

Actually blink If that's what happened Oh she blinked Shut the fuck up Marissa But off But I'm I'm off of that I'm more concerned

With your plans Outside of The TV roles. All right. Here's the thing. I always felt like I'm a good writer. I always felt like I remix things good. I always feel like I'm really good at music and everything, but I'm a very negative person.

I'm the type of person to think there's a million person there's a million people that's trying to do music what who how lucky am i going to be for my music to pop but you know what like my manager he's he's a good team and i'm like you know what i'm gonna just believe in you because i'm just the type of person that be like you know what i'm gonna just make as much money open businesses that's it and that's it i'm just the type of person that be like, you know what? I'm going to just make as much money, open businesses. That's it. And that's it. I'm not the type to really chase dreams. I don't like risking things. I like to be safe. I want to play her song. This is going to work. As long as SoundCloud doesn't take it down. Can you fix it? Can you pause it? Do you get it right? Ouch. Wow, that was loud. Is this less loud? Yes, that's better.

Uh-oh. The beat is hard, actually. Yeah, this is a dope-ass song. She's the first person. All right. New music. DJ Clue drop. DJ Clue drop.

Cody B. Yo, Austin, put. Let's go, Cody B. B, B, B. Yo, Austin, put some echo on my voice. B, B, B. Boom, boom, boom. Get out the one, one, one. He want the boom. Mahdi, Mahdi.

In the room, real fast. You wanna see me ride it like a ride, we like boom, boom. Hey, all right, Mahdi. You wanna eat the boom, boom. Mahdi, you're rocking. Why do you know the words? Because it's my fucking song.

What a hoe. But that shaggy? That is shaggy I was really a guess No, that was It's shaggy song She did the remix with Pop Okay Who wrote that?

His parts They wrote these parts Me I had to sit my ass down And be like Yo The queen The queen wrote it

The queen What she wrote it Duh That shit is wrong Duh Cause Jesus didn't even Write the bible Who else

Who else could write something That fucking amazing Huh That's my shit for real. I literally listen to that shit every single day. I see, because you have it memorized. I do. I really like that song.

All right, so we got the introduction out of the way. The people that don't know who she was, who are retarded now know who she is. What else is going on? Let's add her into our regular On Name This podcast later conversation. Joe, what happened in D.C. this weekend? Oh, oh, man. Oh, okay. So, because I'm so off New York,

and because there's really, like, nothing to do for rappers around Christmas, really? What? A party seems to be finding plenty of things to do. Would you consider something? You're a rapper, though. Yeah. Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday rapper though, you, yeah. Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday Hold up, queen. Hold up, queen. Madi, Madi, Madi. Madi, you'll be banned from the podcast for good. We'll change the location. Everything will be finished if the queen gives you that look again. All right? What do you think Prince is? That's your answer.

You know what? When it comes to entertainment, I'm good at everything. However the fuck I can entertain people, I'm good. When it comes to music, I'm good. When it comes to entertaining people on dancing, I'm good. When it comes to comedy and entertainment, I'm good. When it comes to fucking and sucking, I'm good. When it comes to entertaining people on dancing, I'm good. When it comes to comedy and entertainment, I'm good. When it comes to fucking and sucking, I'm good. And when it comes to the dick sucking contest,

I'm good. Everything, I'm good. But wait a minute, you know what my problem is with that? All bitches say that. Well, there's two women here and you both said it. What, that we suck a dick? Yeah, all bitches say that. But we know. How the fuck you know? Because I know.

How? Because some horny nigga about why you was about. Yo, I'm coming. Yo, I love you. They'll be like going at the phone. Yo, move in with me. I'm real confident.

What do you believe? Everything a nigga tell you when he about to come and you that dumb? No. How do you know you suck such amazing dick? I'm real confident

because you know what I'm saying? I've been with guys that they have been with the baddest bitches. With the baddest bitches with the baddest bitches the baddest bitches with the most sophisticated baddest talk about it you see on fucking on your goddamn music videos the bitches that got thousands of followers just on the way out they looks and niggas be loving me because like they be like damn bitch You And that mouth Yes That's the same shit I get

I get the text In the morning Like I'm thinking about that mouth They be way in Miami Not even in New York Marissa Mendez And then just How little ghetto ass me

How you love little ghetto ass me Cardi Shit I will say A lot of fathers Doesn't mean they can suck dick I haven't cooked for you I haven't cleaned your house

Nothing But you love little old me All these bitches That Cardi is naming But them bitches can't suck no dick Word So now you're just Comparing yourself to

The fucking F student of the class Talking about you the best I don't understand You're comparing yourself To somebody that's Whacking the first place Alright so the popping bitches With a whole bunch of followers

And all the money And the bitches that look great They can't suck dick We knew that. But that means. If y'all didn't know that. Time out. Time out.

If y'all didn't know that out there, let me be the first to tell you that dumb bitches be the worst. Yes, but we know that. But let me break it down. If they're getting their dicks sucked by the top notch bitches, they're getting their dicks sucked from the regular. Why are people starting to say down like that? I just feel like I'm such a regular ass girl. So for you to love such a regular ass girl like me, it's got to be because of something.

Exactly. Yo, what's like fake Remy Martin? So I could call Marissa that. Remy Nah. Is there like a... Remy Nah. I call her like Boone's Farm or something. E&J.

I want to call her like Mad Dog 2020 or something. Yeah, you can do 2020. Four Locos. Because you're fucking Remy Ma. Yo, that might be who Marissa is. She's Paul Masson. She's like the white Remy Na. That's what I said, Remy Na.

Remy Na. I could definitely see that with this fuck shit here. But anyway, all right, so back to you. All right, so you don't know if you can suck a dick neither, but you say that, and when bitches say it, of course, niggas like niggas is going to say, nah, I got to see what that mouth about. I see.

Oh, my God. So when I was in D.C., right? So when I was in D.C., me and my nigga, we went out to D.C. We was like, yo, we off New York. We're going to go to D.C. We're going to get back these bitches. We're going to get these hotels. What?

D.C. crazy. We're going to go to the stadium. We're going to go do all the fucking fuck shit because we live. Right? Right. So we get a motherfucking rent-a-car Yukon 2016 Hop on the highway

Room Music jamming We get out there Get the good deal on the hotel Right? Now we got the banging fucking hotel So we like yo check this out This is what we gonna do

We gonna get the double right? And then when we head out And get shit rocking Then we come back with all the bitches And we gonna get a whole nother room And now it's lit We like word So then we come back with all the bitches and we're going to get a whole nother room. And now it's lit. We like word.

So then we go eat at this spot around the corner. And I had some motherfucking shrimp and grits that were really, really, really good. And then we get back to the motherfucking hotel. And because I'm 35 and he's 32, what happens? We go to sleep. Fucking dick. Fall asleep. Hot Friday night in D.C.

We fall asleep. So I wake up at about 6 a.m. Thinking like Damn what happened At 3 o'clock Not knowing where I was Right I'm like oh shit

We're really this whack So now He wakes up I wake up He goes smoking blunt We like yo We fucking fucked up Last night

So now we gotta let D.C. Know what's good We gonna stay another day And get these bitches So we go Cause we're wide awake now to escape the room in D.C. Oh my God. Is that where all the bad bitches are? Is that what you do like at every

state? Is this like a goal? Well, yeah, we've done about a lot of them now. Do you know what that is? You don't know what that is. It's great. I don't know why guys do that. That's the thing about guys. That's why I just treat them like I treat them. Wait, what do guys do? I have nothing happened yet. What is the goal of you guys just oh wait i was

now i was telling a story wait i was i know what she was getting at though which is another topic in itself well let's start that after i was just on a story off the dick sucking thing hold on give me a second so we go to fucking escape the room right we get there and oh my god i hope these people don't listen to this podcast so we get there and who's there but this like amazing looking fat bitch. And I don't know. He has the best head I heard. Yeah, he do. But listen, when I say that this woman's mouth.

Her mouth and her lips and her face and skin and the way all of that shit looked. Like I almost called that place and booked the next two weeks out she worked there yeah but i think she was married johnny said she had a ring on her finger but anyway so when we left that place i tapped johnny i'm like oh now was it me oh what that fat bitch fine and johnny said no hell yeah did you see her mouth then we had this long talk about her mouth now without having said a word to her about it i just would bet the house that that woman sucks amazing dick oh don't nothing about you two motherfuckers say that y'all suck some great dick well you you you heard i gotta i gotta very like i'm real loud where you think that loud come from from all the way down here. Hello. Talk about it. Hey, the queen.

Did you just question the queen? Whoa. You know, the thing about fat bitches, they do everything with love. They cook with love. Their vagina's nice and warm. Everything about them is warm, so their mouth gotta be even warmer.

That's why their hair's so good. But me, on the other hand, I'm real skinny, but I got a big-ass mouth and all that loud-ass thing that come out of my mouth Come all the way down here Jesus man

Things go all the way down there Yep Well my dick ain't that big We ain't gotta worry about all that That's a lie I don't think that's what We were talking about They ain't gotta go down

Her chest Anyways Moving on She told us Down her titties and shit You know I got a lot of homeboys I got a lot of homeboys So I take notes from them

Like oh where You like what I And I watch a lot of porn too. I got a lot of homeboys, so I take notes from them. Like, oh, where? You like what? All right. And I watch a lot of porn, too. I think that helped me. Maddie, how come every time we talk about the queen, you jump in with some of your shit? You're asking the both of us about our dick-sucking skills. No, no, no.

That's how I got there. No, I'm asking a goddess. Oh, and I'm not a goddess? Not a mere human from Bayonne or wherever you live. I'm not from Bayonne. I'm from Woodbridge. From Woodbridge, New Jersey. I'm from Ford or wherever you're from. Why can't you live. I'm not from Bayonne. I'm from Woodbridge. From Woodbridge, New Jersey. Or from Ford or wherever

you're from. Why can't you put an S on Ford? Wherever the fuck you're from. Hey, don't ever think that we're talking to you when we're talking to fucking royalty. I mean, she is royalty. I have to give her that. We gotta respect Queen Cardi. The royalty of the fucking projects. So everybody keeps talking about Beyonce shooting a video and then pictures leaked of Beyonce

shooting a video in New Orleans at the Superdome In New Orleans and Jay-Z was there because of course Jay-Z was there Why wouldn't he be there So now all the fuss is that she's going to drop a secret album Because that's what happened last time When she dropped a whole bunch of videos So how do we feel about this I didn't think that far into the whole secret album thing

We just made two years the other day So we don't feel anything about it at all Who made two years Beyonce's secret album That was only two years The other day So we don't feel anything About it at all Alright great Who made two years Beyonce's secret album That was only two years ago Mmhmm December 2013 Feels like so much longer

Nope I was in Sin City When that album dropped Changed the world When a digital dropped Shocker there Shocked the world Yeah but that was probably

Toward the end of my Sin City Where I've been stopped Going to Sin City Yeah I ain't been to Sin City In a long time Over Does that still exist a year and change. It does,

but nobody goes there but scammers and drug dealers. Yeah, but maybe they got bad bitches in there now. No, they probably do. Well, I like how Sin City is laid out better than any other strip club

in New York. Always the best layout. That's the one I always went with you, right? Yeah. Because in Sin, there's mad space. And they serve cake.

All this is fucking sit on top of each other. And they serve cake and ice cream in Sin. And the focus is really on the strippers. It's not on the bartenders. I agree.

Me and Joe have, oh, Cardi, you could help us out with this. Me and Joe and Imani have this thing where we want to start something for the strippers because bartenders

are now taking over. It's too late for that. It's too late for that. You guys need a union. There needs to be a stripper union. No, the thing about it is because bartenders

don't have to take their clothes off and they're getting rained on. I feel like... While strippers are doing fucking cartwheels and getting $1. We need to do something about this. This is an epidemic.

And you could be the face of it. Preach for it. I mean, you know... Stripper union. This is the thing. I always felt like back in the day when I was stripping... Not even back in the day.

Like a couple months ago. What? Like, you know, like... I always felt like Damn y'all strippers Y'all need to fucking go On motherfucking Like on a strike or something

Go down south We gotta show Goddamn New York niggas I like this talk That that's it It's over for that Like fuck y'all mean But then again

I be feeling like These bartenders They do a little extra What you think The niggas is just out You think that the same nigga Just keep coming back And sit in your

Goddamn section Because you not You not talking to them Or Parlaying with them the niggas is just out. You think that the same nigga just keep coming back and sit in your goddamn section because you're not you're not talking to them or parlaying with them and everything. A lot of them has fucked them and sucked them.

That's the thing. Like a lot of niggas be thinking to themselves like oh a bartender is more serious than a stripper because she has She's not taking her clothes off.

Yeah she's not taking her clothes off. That bitch that done suck more dick than me. So I don't even want to hear that shit. And then on top of that, like, let's be honest, a lot of strippers in New York,

they not looking good. Y'all not looking the part. Like, that's the thing. They not looking... The queen. They not looking good. Like, to be honest with you, me and the team

that I used to work with, we never really had that much problem with the bartenders and everything because I feel like when we used to go strip, we had everything on point. Nails, hair, everything on point.

Everybody's body's on point. Everything is on deck. If you are on deck and if you look good, you shouldn't really have that problem. So I found something out today. Finally. Strippers need to go on strike in New York. That's all I'm saying. I have a stripper friend. You've been waiting 25 years for Rory to find something out. All right, weppers need to go on strike in New York. That's all I'm saying.

I have a stripper friend. You've been waiting 25 years for Rory to find something out. All right, all right, all right. We get it, we get it. All right. I'm a friend with a stripper. I'm on her Instagram. Oh, shocker.

No, not you. Rory? Fuck off. What do you mean? She has a link in her bio, so I click it because she said, I'm live right now. And I'm like, this bitch on blog TV. And I see it's not blog TV. It's called camsoda.com.

Are you aware of this? I keep seeing people on this camsoda.com. So what it is, it's like blog TV for strippers. You can pay for tokens and they can set the price like, I'll clap my ass for 10 tokens. I'll bust it open for 30 tokens. And these chicks are making a lot of money. They digitally monetize the stripping game.

So maybe we can get these bartenders to fuck out of here this shit a fucking bunk that shit when i was a stripper i would have been like what what y'all want me to do for these tokens fuck you mean mario for these tokens a couple months late y'all y'all could have had the queen it's like a virtual stripper But like Doesn't the porn stars Do that shit too? Probably

Oh yeah yeah But that's like All the porn sites and shit This you can just sign up for now Pinky does that shit Yeah so like Instead of watching Joe Fucking listen to music

In front of his laptop You can Watch a stripper Fucking bust it open See a titty or two That's good Well hold up now Don't get it fucked up

Sometimes watching Joe Listen to music on his laptop You end up seeing a titty or two We don't want. Well, hold up now. Don't get it fucked up. Sometimes watching Joe listen to music on his laptop, you end up seeing a titty or two. We don't want to see any titties, though. We don't want to. I'm not talking about

my titties, dickhead. You just have titties in your house? Oh, my God. Never mind. So listen now. So do we care about this meek sentencing,

probation, any of this shit? I mean, that's sad. They're really trying to make an example of that poor kid. And it's really fucked up that he's missing

out on movie opportunities and all type of shit. Wait, huh? Yeah, he had an audition for a Will Smith movie that he couldn't go to in Hollywood because he had to stay with Billy. And we're sad about it? Yeah, it sucks. They're fucking taking money out of this guy's mouth. He's a child.

He has like a fucking... So they're doing something to him. Because he forgot to check in for probation that he's had for fucking years and years and years from a charge that he had from 2008. Have you ever been on probation? No, thank you, Jesus. Have you ever been on parole? No. They don't deal with that shit.

Parole officers and probation officers are there for a reason. And I don't think, you better hope to God that you don't get a bad one or one that has it out for you. Which is what he has. So now here you go, you don't know what he has. The nigga's been all around the world fucking making millions of dollars while on pre-pandemic. I don't understand this. Like, you're slapping.

It's like when the cop was looking for me and I was tweeting, yo, suck my dick. It's like you're slapping these niggas in the face. What do you think is going to happen when they actually catch you? I don't know. I don't really look too into the judicial system like that i don't really have those problems because you white see your white people man that fucking white privilege strikes again we just look at the same thing what's what's parole yeah exactly different

okay so and while we're on to that um i just want to say this is very minor nikki minaj is slowly morphing into fucking Iggy Azalea. Why do you say that? And I say that because... We couldn't wrap up the year without talking about them. No, when Iggy was beefing with Papa John's on Twitter, right? I thought that that was the funniest thing in the universe. That's pretty mean.

I couldn't understand why such a successful woman was going on a 30 tweet rant about Papa John's. While they came at her? No, somebody from her pizza delivery boy kept her number and then text her like, I love you so much and then gave it out to his friends and family. Bitch, you're famous. That should be pissing people off though. You fucking chose this life. What the fuck are you talking about? You're famous. You're famous. What should be pissing people off, though. It sucks. You fucking chose this life. What the fuck are you talking about?

You're famous. You're famous. What are you talking about? People do that shit. Sometimes the fucking somebody at AT&T randomly texts me, Joe, yo, Moomoo Music 3 with the shit. What am I going to write now? Hey, AT&T.

Well, you know, baby. Check this out. So wait now, because I'm not done. So she did this about Papa John's, and I was confused. But then I'm like, you know what? Everybody does dumb shit. I certainly can't look at nobody funny for doing dumb shit i'm the king of doing dumb shit definitely the king of doing dumb shit but then iggy beefed with sprint was it i don't recall that she beefed with somebody else all right so

forget about iggy for a minute because iggy said you know what fuck y'all y'all can't appreciate a real ass bitch i'm getting offline right so she rides horses so she did that so she's offline riding horses great Nikki now what did she think about apparently she put a do not disturb sign on her hotel door and would you fucking believe the cleaning people went in there anyway? I mean, she put the sign up. That's rude. Why the fuck are we going? Why are we hearing? I'm the only one confused by shit like this.

I mean, just because she's famous, she can't complain about it? I'd be annoyed. Don't disturb me, bitch. I might be in here popping it on a handstand. I don't want you seeing all that. I told you don't disturb me. That's what they made it for. Why do people just feel like so entitled?

Am I like the exact opposite of that? They made the do not disturb sign for literally one reason. Guess what it was? Not to disturb you. You know that Nicki Minaj is a fucking super duper star? Yes, I'm fully aware of that. And this is what we're using our powers for to fight housekeeping? I mean.

Because they came in the room and I had to do not destroy. Well, give me the back story. What did she go on Twitter? That was it. She went on Twitter. What do you mean? What's the end of the story? Fucking, that was the story.

The sign was on the door. The housekeeping people came in and then she went on a long ass rant. Was she tweeting? And now I'm looking at my timeline saying, why is this bitch? Was she complaining about it or was she trying to get action? Both. Was she trying to tweet the hotel like, fire your employees? Yeah, bending both you got to go back you follow her i'm sure you're fucking one of the barbies so i'm surprised you wanted barbies and you missed all of this i was

actually working today so let me not just direct this at her anytime celebrities do that it comes off away it looks it looks like you're acting like you guys aren't humans too i've seen you even be upset like people like criticize every little fucking thing and it's like hard because it's like you're still a fucking human being at the end of the day like you have feelings you say random shit like yeah i'm a sensitive yeah it sucks like that shit like you know maybe because i'm new at this maybe because i'm new at this and it's just like damn like people i mean people must forgot that i got a mother and a father too. Like, fuck you mean? Like, my feelings be hurting sometimes. And sometimes I feel like I don't got no privacy.

Like, I don't, like, it's just like, damn, when I'm shopping, hey, bitch, can you come over here? It's like, I don't ever want to be like, no, because I don't want to look like a bitch and everything. But it's just like, there's, like, for example, somebody took a picture of me, right? like for example somebody took a picture of me right and then when they took a picture of me i saw it and they were talking shit about me and it's like fuck you mean you see this why you can't be nice to people and i don't know like that whole people criticizing me and talking about me it's a little new to me it's something i guess i gotta adapt to it but right now like you know i'll be a little sentimental and whatever you clap back sometimes

sometimes I can't help to clap back that shit is hard my best friends will tell me like stop fucking replying to people but it's like why fuck you guys

we're saying 70 best friends by the way I have four can we get clarity on who are these best friends Carol is the one that gets the most angry at me for replying to people

because I really give them the time of day but sometimes I say some dumb shit and it's mean yeah it's all the mean like damn fuck you

like they were criticizing my carpet the other day I'm like bitches this picture is not about my carpet she's like bitch you better replace that shit

oh you mean like the mean shit you said about Wale when he happened to see it yeah well I wasn't adding him that's the difference people come to my pictures

to be in my comments to troll me I shared my opinion on Twitter without adding him because I wasn't trying to bother or interrupt his life these people come to me to comment in my comments to troll me. I shared my opinion on Twitter without adding him because I wasn't trying to bother or interrupt his life.

These people come to me to comment on my pictures to tell me that I'm a fucking ugly troll whore that looks like I drink Bacardi all day long

and that I'm somebody's auntie. And then they call me Tia Marissa. Like, that's not nice. In their defense, you kind of look like you drink Bacardi

a lot. I don't drink Bacardi. I think Sir Wap. You 100% look like you drink Bacardi a lot. I don't drink Bacardi. I think Sir Wap. You 100% look like you drink Bacardi on a regular basis. They call me somebody's thoughty ass auntie that looks like they drink Bacardi all day long. But that's an accurate definition. They have that popping ass dragonberry. You're wearing truck fit.

I am wearing truck fit. Shout out to Wayne. With big ass hoop earrings at almost 28 years old. Yes. With red hair and fucking. What? What is wrong with Chuck Fit? And Moses, fucking Maurice Malone jeans.

Who? You got a lot. These jeans are like $30 from like Joyce Leslie or something. Paris Succo jeans. What did you have to do to get the Chuck Fit? Nothing. Nothing. I didn't do anything.

I think the song said otherwise. Yeah, but it's not what it was. They just sent me a package. I came in today to do this podcast, and Marissa was in the bathroom getting hair and makeup done. I was not getting my hair and makeup done. My hair looks like I stuck my phone in a socket. No, no, no. Clearly the hair part was a joke.

Let me get the joke off. So you were getting makeup done. Why exactly? Because of a date later. Yeah. Yeah. What? Who are you going on a date later. Yeah. What? Who are you going on a date with?

Nobody. That is your business. Oh, you brought it up. I did, but that's because he keeps asking me questions. Where'd you meet this gentleman? On an app. What app? Not telling that app because they didn't cut a check.

You met a man on an app? Yes, I met a couple and some of them are psych. Oh, that's Sol's. Fuck, I just said it. Soul Swipe. It's fine. They're not going to cut us a check anyways. Delta, that's where he came from, the guy that gave me the buddy pass.

On Soul Swipe? Yep. Cardi, would you ever meet somebody on an app? A goddess like Cardi? You know, when Instagram came out and everything, I met this guy. Yo, on his pictures, he was looking so good and everything. He looked like a fine Jamaican thing

and when I saw him in prison like yo I had to dip it that nigga was fucking ugly how did you dip out of this thing she just vanished

she disappeared that's part of it she walked on water she just vanished where did he take you Kapoof we went to the to the labor day parade

and everything and I was like I was chilling with him and everything then my cousins called and I'm like yo I'm gonna go to the Labor Day parade and everything. And I was like, I was chilling with him and everything. Then my cousins called. And I'm like, yo, I'm going to go to the Trinidadian fucking float. And I skidded out the crowd. But that nigga was mad. Never again.

Never, never again. I have a very relatable story to this situation if we want to bring back the story time segment. Of hopping in DMs and why. Hopefully Cardi can guide you in the right direction after this yeah it was a very crazy situation so i would like all of your commentary even though you guys have heard this story before but what the same delta story no no the dm story about how i learned why you probably shouldn't dm people oh let's hear it then you end up in a shitty situation i want to hear it again because my memory pun intended let's hear it so Pun intended So a couple years ago So last year

I had broken up with my ex And I had gotten over my little like morning period You know sometimes you need like the I don't want to talk to any guy Like I hate everybody Whatever So then it was time for the hoe phase right So I was kind of just you know

Living life So you weren't a hoe before that I was going to say Are we still in the phase? When did the phase Stop Yeah there's definitely A whole phase

It's just a period of time And so you find that person You really like That's when the whole phase Finish Yes Yeah but it's a phase I mean for some

It's a phase I mean For some it's a lifestyle Yeah for some it's a culture So I'm in the whole phase Right And so there's this person That I had been like

Wanting for like years Right I had a huge crush on him Get out of here Right So I sent him my favorite Nude on DM At this time I had just got my titties done I had been like wanting for like years, right? I had a huge crush on him. Get out of here. Right. So I sent him my favorite nude on DM. At this time, I had just got my titties done. I had lost a lot of weight because I was on the breakup diet, which means I was eating air every day.

And then Lil Scrappy was single at that point, too. So it was like the perfect time. So I took a really good nude and I sent it to this person on DM. And I sent a beautiful message along with it. I said, I'm totally available to talk politics or ride your dick like a pony. Either one. Hit me up. Fuck you. Which, by the way, I don't even ride at all.

Can you believe she sent that type of message one day into her whole face? I was like a week into my whole face. That's like a professor. I'm a writer. I'm good at writing. I don't really mean the things that I say. That was not good writing.

Well, no, I'm just saying... Creative writing, you know? Creative. But someone so new at being a ho to have the knowledge. I had a ho phase in my breakup before that, you know what I mean? So it was my second go round. Oh. Yeah, okay.

Okay, so they welcomed you back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta. With open arms. Your seat is right here, Marissa. We knew you'd be back. Thank you, everyone. I'm back.

So I didn't think he'd see the DM. I figured he gets like a lot every single day. But lo and behold, I would think it was like two days later. Why would he get a lot every single day? I have no idea. So lo and behold, a couple days later. He seems popular. Fuck off.

So I get another DM back and he was like, what's your number? And I was like, holy fuck, it's lit, right? So I sent my number right away. I said nothing else but my phone number. So then two, three, four, five days passed and he doesn like what's your number and i was like holy fuck it's lit right so i sent my number right away i said nothing else with my phone number so then two three four or five days passed and he doesn't text me so i'm like oh my god i'm asking joe i'm like you know on average when you get a girl's number when do you like how long does it take to text her like am i should i follow up and joe's like just relax like he's gonna text you whatever yeah because i think my line was uh i think my line was the, you're not even a fucking hit you right away type bitch.

Like, a nigga get your number and then hit you like. In a month. Yeah, like 39 days later. Like, yo, what's good? So then I'm seeing pictures of him online. I'm like, well, he obviously is at his phone. She's seeing pictures.

Online, I mean like. So you weren't searching? No, no, no. They were like available online. Just happened to refresh the timeline at that time. What a coincidence. I'm like, well, he has his phone. She's seeing pictures. I mean, like, you know. So you weren't searching? No, no, no. They were like available online. She was just seeing. She just happened to refresh the timeline at that time. What a coincidence.

I'm like, well, he has his phone. He hasn't texted me. I forgot I DM'd this guy. Oh, man. So then I'm like,

all right, all right, all right. I'm going to follow up with a new DM. This is like, I don't know, the old system of DMs.

I don't know how they work now, but so like it will pop back up and send a new one. I don't really send DMs anymore. This is my, I learned my lesson this time. So you graduated. Yeah.

I will never send a DM after this. So you're out of your whole phase? She graduated to Soul swipe I ain't gonna lie That's a mud ass Graduation Went from 12th grade To 13th grade

So anywho So I write my name My number on notepad Right And I take a screenshot Of it Send that to him In a new DM

So that it'll pop up At the top And I add the message Like you obviously Got so excited That I gave you my number that you forgot to text me lol make sure you use it right oh so you was a thirsty bitch too

I waited a whole week I waited a whole week I hate thirsty bitches yo you double messaging me mom I'll be a friend like you I really was gonna do it like two days later you are the double message, girl.

So then I wake up in the morning. Can I get there? It worked, fuckers. Don't let Joe clown. I definitely clowned him for double texting a bitch once. Yeah, so I wake up earlier than the morning. Yes, you. Never on the double text.

You've done it. Never the double text. Nah, Duke. You got me all wrong. Don't try to clean it up with the Duke nah you double texting thanks for this

back to Maddie's story we'll get back to this one so I wake up in the morning and he's there and he was like I'll be in New York tonight are you free? I'm like

fuck yeah I'm free I just double DM'd you so I was like oh yeah I'll probably be around I'll fly my sofa just hit me up so all of a sudden

it's lit right so I hop up I fucking run to Dykeman get my eyelashes done shout out to Kat so I do all that shit right so now I'm ready I shave

why are we shouting out to Kat because she did my eyelashes on Dykeman so I'm ready to go right so then I had an event to go to that night so I went with my homegirl she's like my whole friend

that like I know I can leave her and like go do some whole shit and she'll just like be down for the count and like those friends are necessary yeah definitely need one of those friends she has a like be down for the count and like those friends are necessary yeah definitely need

one of those friends she has a lot of those so all her best friends those are her friends no my best friends aren't they're not down for the count yeah they're not like that

shout out to the squad squad yeah yeah so what happened so I get to the event right so I'm there we're chilling it's great

it's like a concert situation I get the text like hey what's up it's such and such I didn't even wait for him to follow up tell me an address nothing

I threw my keys at my home girl I'm like bitch take my car I'm hopping into Uber I'll such. I didn't even wait for him to follow up, tell me an address, nothing. I threw my keys at my homegirl. I'm like, bitch, take my car. I'm hopping into Uber. I'll be back. I don't know when I'm going to be back. I might be tomorrow. It might be sometime tonight.

Come get me when I'm ready. She's like, okay. So I fucking run downstairs and I'm texting. Was it really sunny outside? No, it's like 10 o'clock at night. Why? I'm just trying to figure out why you with this thirsty thing. I don't know.

The air is small, babe't know No it's huge We'll get there This podcast will not turn into No Absolutely not Y'all gonna do that shit On somewhere else So anywho

Do that shit on lip service So I'm running down right And so he's texting me like Oh come to my apartment It's downtown Manhattan La la la la I'm like boom great So now you're running

From Bayonne to downtown Manhattan I'm in Brooklyn at this point Well in my story In my story you're in Bayonne And I don't even live in Bayonne I live in Jersey City I said in my story you're in bay and i don't even live in bayonne i live in jersey i said in my story you ran to the city okay so i ran to the city in an uber like the band okay who the band when they had to run the juniors for the cheesecake oh got it sorry everybody don't worry about it slow uh so i'm so excited about this story so i hop in the uber i get to his apartment right so he's like ring the penthouse i'm like okay cool so i'm ringing the penthouse i'm standing downstairs for like 10 minutes right

he's not answering the door i'm not understanding why when obviously you're in the house right so i'm like what is he doing so then um i had such a good joke to add in on who this is don't for this part but i'm not going to so then um i finally he finally buzzes me in right so then i get to the elevator i go upstairs now penthouses as you guys know most of you there's really no hallway like it just opens to the door and you either have to go in or go back in the elevator, I go upstairs. Now, penthouses, as you guys know, most of you, there's really no hallway. Like, it just opens to the door, and you either have to go in or go back in the elevator. Nah, I don't know that. What, you don't know that?

I ain't never been in a penthouse. All right, well, that's how that works. So, the door opens. We fuck bartenders. Yeah, yeah, well. We don't fuck that shit. Don't try to put me in different class. We'd just be happy if they have a bed for you.

Word. So, the elevator door opens, and the door... You're probably trying to sound fancy around the corner. No, I'm just saying. You know how it goes, boo, right? When you go to the penthouse So the door opens. Fuck you, guys.

You know the one downtown. You know, right, girl? It ain't even no hallway, right? Tell them. Let them know. So the door opens to the elevator

and his door is ajar but he's not there. So I'm a little concerned because I'm like, I don't want to go in this man's house. I don't want to hear the word ajar in this story. That's what it was. That's what I mean if it is ajar, but he's not there. So I'm a little concerned because I'm like, I don't want to go in this man's house. I don't want to hear the word ajar in this story.

That's what it was. That's what I mean, it was ajar. So I didn't know whether to just go in because he's not there, but obviously he left it open for me, so I'm like, fuck it, I'm going to just go in. So I go in there, and I'm calling for him. He's not answering.

I'm calling his phone. He's not answering. What name did you say? Scrap. Why is it a little scrappy? Why is he living in downtown Manhattan? I'm giving you my version of the story Red Cafe

Where are you? Scrappy I'm here Your door was ajar Your door It was ajar Oh no it's ajar right there girl In the kitchen

No I mean Your door was ajar And I got man jars. You want that loud? Nope. But bam. Forget it. All right.

Great. So I'm looking around. It's like a strange, it's like a strange-ass apartment. Like there's paintings of people with their middle fingers up and there's like a thousand trillion candles and a big ass chandelier. It's like mad ominous, right? Like dark as hell. Like it was just weird as shit.

And I'm still calling it the film. Or romantic. Or weird. So then I'm still calling him the hell Or romantic Or weird So then I'm like maybe it's a test Maybe he's watching me on a camera To see if I use my phone and take a picture And put it on Instagram or something So I'm gonna pass this test

And I'm gonna sit at this big ass lunch style table situation It was like a big wooden table Like it belonged to Hogwarts That's crazy And I'm gonna put my phone face down If he's looking at me And then I'm gonna just stand here with my hands folded So I do that right

I sat there for 10 minutes like no no idea what this guy is I'm just sitting in this stranger's I could have robbed him is he white no

did you think about using your phone no Scrappy's I called him I called him multiple times he's not weird right after his finish right

Scrappy's black so suddenly finally after 10 minutes out of the back of the apartment why is anything sudden after 10 minutes yeah it's not sudden at all to be honest actually you've been sitting there with your hands folded doing nothing mad, after 10 minutes, out of the back of the apartment. Why is anything sudden after 10 minutes? Yeah, it's not sudden at all, to be honest, actually. You've been sitting there with your hands folded doing nothing.

Mad concern for 10 minutes. And suddenly, the door wasn't ajar. All right, come on, come on, come on. So he comes like floating out of the back like a phoenix rising out of the ashes, right? And he was like, oh, my bad. I hate to interrupt. What would have been the time you would have left? I got to see your thirst level here.

We're at 10 minutes. Right. What if we hit 45? I mean, obviously, okay, then I would have to go like he might I don't like a guy making me feel like like Fuck you me you making me wait. wait but what if he had a jar that's what guys like that's the thing guys like when when you were thirsty so okay it gets way worse

So he finally comes He's like my bad I was shaving And I was like what Scraping any of my beard Right So anywho So then he was like Oh come to the back

I'm like alright cool This is great So we go to the back Mind you we haven't We've met before like In passing But I don't think he knows me Like at all right

So we go to the back And he look And he's getting a phone call As he looks at me He's like take all that off And then he just walked outside. Take that Jurassic Park hat off. Nah, you see?

You can't let that guy treat you like a doll. Take your pink cheetah print truck fit hoodie off. Hey, all that bullshit you got off. Go through that shit and decide.

I had a dip set jacket on. You sitting here with a real nigga bitch. So at that point I was like, wait a second, wait. Did he mean like all my clothes? Did he mean like my pants?

Because I couldn't sit on his bed without my pants on. Take a go, grill out your mouth, girl. I had my grill in. Of course you did because you're two years old. So I'm like mad concerned at this point. I'm like, you know, I don't want to take my pants off. And that's all he meant because I don't have any underwear on. So I don't want him to think like I was overly excited about this whole situation.

I think he knew by now. Wait, wait. She excited about this whole situation. I think he knew by now. Wait, wait. She didn't want. Wait. I just didn't want to be there ass naked and him be like, whoa. Like, I wasn't. Wait, time out. PSA out there.

Because I hear a lot of women out there over the years. I've heard them say, see, he must think I'm stupid. No, I didn't think that. This is why we may think that sometimes. I just want y'all to listen to Marissa really briefly here. Just don't go ahead. That's it. Okay.

Yeah. So, um, so then I just stand there for another 10 minutes. This guy has no concept of time and I'm just like, I'm not going to get naked because I don't know if that's what he meant. So I just stood there fully clothed. Right.

You know what I learned throughout experience in time? When a guy asked you to go to his crib, don't ever think that it's like oh yeah go to the crib and chill no it really means fuck yeah i never this learned it like i learned it that day is that what those meant those heathens are out there doing jesus oh my right joe you you shot i really thought we were gonna watch some netflix or something like get to know each other a little bit talk about our feelings time i started to, yo, when a guy asks you to chill in the crib, that means just fuck.

A tour of my house means a tour of my house and that is it. I normally call women over to talk about my feelings. Don't even try it. And the only reason I say take your clothes off is because I don't want your outside clothes on my bed. Because it's because I'm fucking up their game.

Nah, because I know. I know. Yeah. She got you, Roryory she knows something on you damn it i just like to talk about my feelings when women come over yeah i was thinking we might talk about something but apparently not well no you were in the middle of your story right yeah because because you've built it up so it's got to have a big kaboom to end yeah simply just is about 45 minutes

so uh the queen here we could be hearing the queen the queen has mad other she could be doing right now so finally he comes back after 10 minutes and he just looks at me puzzled like what do you like what what are you doing and i'm like i wasn't sure what you meant he was like take your clothes off so i get butt ass naked right and he gets but now he gets like socks off and everything like he's completely naked you're completely no I'm actually I have a shirt on actually I have a shirt so then we on the bed just standing there and getting naked yeah it was just so this is loving basketball it might have been the greatest shirt to ever do it. Hey, thank you, shirt. So then he was like, are you freaky or are you nasty? And I was like, uh. I'm a lady.

I don't know. I'm both. Like, I don't even know the difference between. I'm so not a lady. Hey, are you a lady? No, I'm not a lady. Why would you think that? Are you a human or a man?

Yo, you got morals, bitch? Hell no. Yo, do you have morals, bitch? Hell no, I ain't got no morals. I'm down for anything, daddy. Oh, bitch? Hell no. Yo, do you have morals, bitch? Hell no, I ain't got no morals. I'm down for anything, daddy. Oh, I love those bitches. Shout out to y'all, man. So then he was like, he's like, I like my nipples licked.

And I was like, oh, okay. The queen is not impressed. So I was like, this is really bizarre. I've never done that before. So I'm like licking his nipple. So you do it. Yeah, because I'm like, whatever, we're here now. So I kind of felt like a cat lapping at milk like it was just a very strange like it just didn't

feel appropriate like i'm just like licking his nipple i'm like i don't know if this is turning him on this is doing nothing for me i feel really odd so then i just start giving him head whatever so fast forward give him head then we have sex wait how long were you giving him head? Wait, time out. Wait. I don't get it. Wait. You just, so you stopped licking his nipple. Yeah. You said, whatever, whatever. I started giving him head.

Yeah. Then you said, now, fast forward. These kids might not know what fast forward means because he's iPod, but I know what it I was repeating myself. So then you said fast forward and I'm giving him head. And I'm reiterating. I'm giving him head. How long have you been sucking this nigga's dick?

Not that long. Do you know how fast fast forward is, bitch? No, I'm reiterating Like how long Are you sucking this nigga's dick Not that long Do you know how fast Fast forward is Bitch No I didn't fast forward that long I went from From nipple to dick Now we're fucking right

So then No no but how long Were you sucking this gentleman's dick I would say 15 sucking 15 sex Then he came That's a lot of time Yeah it was

That's a lot That's a lot of time Yeah that had gotta be trash No he actually stopped me He was like No no no Fuck him So anyway

It gotta be trash 15 minutes of Mighty Mel Wait and then I still got 15 more On the stroke He came And then he got another condom Fuck you So then

So then He was like If I'm getting my dick sucked No we pausing your story If I'm getting my dick sucked For 15 minutes my G That's not a long time I think if a guy

Is getting hair for 15 minutes That means that he been Fucking a lot You know like Hell yeah He's definitely fucking a lot That will come fast If he haven't been fucking

For like a week I might fall asleep Oh that's probably why I don't relate Cause you know what I mean What? Cause I don't be fucking a lot Oh please

Anyhow Anyways But I feel like If you have to suck dick For like 15 minutes Like it's just like Probably he been fucking He probably fucking

Every single day Yeah like You know what I mean Let's find a different start point Alright so you're on his nipple Tell us about his nipple Alright So

So you put your tongue Right here right So then he was like What nipple was it? The left Then he was like Can you suck my dick again? I'm like, okay. He's like,

can you go lower? And I'm like, okay. Yeah, suck my knee. Suck my balls, bitch. A guy getting his ass licked, is that gay? Wait, wait, wait, wait. If a guy like getting his ass licked,

is that gay? I don't think it is, but the way he, I don't think it is. How do we get to his ass? Wait till you hear this story. Wait till you hear how he wants this. So I'm like, Is that gay? I don't think it is I don't think that's gay But if he's too open Wait till you hear this story Wait till you hear How he want this

So I'm like He wants his legs up Nah that's gay Listen to this shit Did he toot his ass in the air? Listen Can I get there? So

He was like He was like He's like how do you want me? And I'm like I don't know what you mean Like I've only like Oh nah Yeah so he's like

Time out Time out Time out Time out now time out, time out. Time out now. In my version of Marissa's story, as soon as this guy says, how do you want me? Tupac and Jodeci,

how do you want it? Come on from the surround sound. How do you want it? How do you want it? No, he was actually playing. How do you want it? How do you want... Hey!

My story's way doper than yours. If people are actually hearing my good ad-libs to this story... Okay. Go ahead Okay So I was like What do you

I don't know Because he was on his back At this time I'm like What else can you do right Like regular Like he's regular You know like

As if he was getting head Like you're just there So my tongue could go Hey So then he So he lifts up his legs A little bit He was like you know

Go ahead And I'm like okay So then he stops me He's like I'm gonna make it Easier for you And I was like What do you mean Like I don't know How much easier we could me He's like, I'm gonna make it easier for you And I was like, what do you mean?

Like, I don't know how much easier we could get He gets off the bed He goes to the wall He turns around And he puts his hands on the wall Like he's being searched by a cop And like, takes his ass in the air Can we get on? And I was like

Lil Wayne and Bobby Brown 2 What is happening right now? Like a cop car officer Whatever this is, officer So I'm like Did you do this? You doing this? Yes, I'm doing it Why you did it? Lil Wayne and Bobby Brown too What is happening right now Like a cop car Officer Whatever No no no I can't So I'm like Did you do this You doing this

Yes I'm doing it Why you did it Nah that's too much So then It's supposed When a guy gonna get his ass in now It's supposed to be like a surprise Yeah like regular

Like you're talking Right Right You should ask for it I just feel like your son Should just get So wait It gets worse It gets worse.

It gets worse. I know they got a head butt. You ever been butt butted? I wish a bitch would put a fucking face by my ass and I want some surprise. Bitch, the semblance. Hey, when you're licking the balls and all underneath. As your tongue go lower and you all up in the balls and everything,

yes. That bitch going to get the UFC leg hold. That bitch going to get the fucking Holly Holm. Only Chuck Liddell was in my list. That bitch gonna get the Boston Crab. Bitch talking about, yeah, surprise, my tight ass. No surprise, bitch, my fucking foams. All right, go ahead.

All right, so then he's like, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna make it I'm gonna make it even better And I'm like Oh we're getting better than this How much better could it be Don't tell me you Don't tell me you

No Then he gets on the bed Right All fours Toots his ass in the air And was like Okay so lick it But then

While you do that I need you to jerk My dick with your right hand The dirty trombone And then pull on it With your left hand So mind you, I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time.

So he gave me three different directions. I'm like, what? There was so... I'm like, what is it? I can't do all this. That shit might be lit on a low. I was like, I don't even know. I'm like trying,

so I'm like breaking out in a sweat. Wait. I'm not going to say anything. Wait, hold on. What did he say? I'm looking at the wall. What did he tell you to do? breaking out in a sweat I thought I was a freak but you definitely take the crown you definitely white

because I'm stitching so then I'm looking at the wall behind me this is why this is why you never send a DM again in your life like this is

what the fuck you get for this shit but you did it anyway of course you did women always leave that part out of the story so then he's like okay so when i come this is what i want i'm gonna lay on my back you're gonna lick my time out time out he still has no time out no this is his second come now you're eating this guy's ass his ass is in the air you're beating his dick all of these different things but wait when did when is he able to give this instruction? He's just talking while he's down there. He's not doing anything with being on all fours. Right.

He's able to talk all the way. Nah, that's a wild position, my nigga. That's what you told him about. So he's like, all right, I'm going to flip over. This is how I like it. So you got to lick my nipple, and then you got to jerk my dick, and then I'm going to film it. But then you're going to watch me delete it, too.

We're just going to watch it back together but then um and then you're gonna give me head while i when i come or something like that and i'm like yo what so i'm looking back at it while he was good no he's turned over so then he did that and then he filmed it he watched it like no he he got on his back something tells me if he's on all fours he doesn't mind looking below his legs and then he filmed it that way licking his nipple and then filmed it and then then he deleted it and the funny shit is like when you know when you delete it you can see the last picture and he had like a love meme it's like the last thing that was before the videos i'm like this is so weird so we finished he hands me summer's eve wipes and i'm like i don't know right what a gentleman right so then

so then he was like what a classy guy who has that he's like so do you have any kids and I'm like that was his next question yes

so I was like no he's like is your father in your life and I was like yeah he's like do you have any friends with kids

and I'm like yeah he's like is their dad in their life and I'm like nah that's real freaky have you ever seen American Psycho no because this sounds like a plot to American Psycho and I was like, yeah. He's like, is their dad in their life? And I'm like, nah, that's real freaky. Have you ever seen American Psycho? No.

Because this sounds like a plot to American Psycho. And I was like, mind you, I'm like calling my Uber, right? Because it does not feel like I'm like welcome there. And then. After you did all of that, you don't feel welcome? Nah, I better, if I did all of that, I better sleep over. Right, have a fucking Netflix show. You did all of that and you don't feel welcome, my nigga.

Yeah, I just want to get the fuck out of that situation. The whole situation was weird as hell. So then he's like, oh, so he's like, do you have friends with kids? I'm like, yeah, he's like, is their father in their life? And I'm like, yeah, I was just actually at my friend's wedding. Like, she married her daughter's father. He's like, oh, do you have pictures? And I'm like, what?

Yeah. So I showed him like a couple pictures of the wedding. He's like, oh, that's so nice. And I'm like, yeah, this is great. I don't mean to cut you off. You said he was shaving before? Yeah. Well, since he did all that,

I have an idea of maybe what he was shaving with. What was he shaving with, Rory? Joe, do you have an idea of what he was shaving with? I don't want to come behind that with the bevel. I'm not coming off Mdy Doing the robot Transformer That's great advertising In the bedroom That might be

Kind of lit though man I gotta find me A knife in a bitch To just fucking Do whatever I just fucking say Hey suck my tooth bitch Now lick my nipples

And suck my balls What is he He's black See that's why Black men love white bitches Because y'all be doing The most Y'all extra

Cause I would've been like Nigga You're bugging and thugging i can't yo suck the fart ew ew like once a nigga like getting his ass licked and all that weird freaky shit he don't even give a fuck about hair no more see that's the shit i don't even make him come i kind of be instructing like that during my facetime sex sessions yeah are you on all fours during your facetime sex no nigga are you looking like behind you like over your shoulder not tweeting it for the laptop i'm like i'm like the motherfucking steven spielberg of fucking facetime sex what about shaving can you talk about fucking shaving

please oh see that segway's a little better all right here we go this episode is brought to you by bevel the first and only shaving system designed specifically for coarse curly hair and sensitive skin start shaving smarter and say goodbye to razor bumps with Bevel. Check out GetBevel.com today. That's use code. What's the code, Joe? Joe. Use code Joe to get 20% off your first month at GetBevel.com.

That's right. GTBVL.com. That was good. Yeah, that was great. That was good. Thanks, bro. You might get your ass eaten off that. That was really good.

No, no. Don't play them ass. Don't forget to check your DMs. Don't play them ass. Thanks, bro. You might get your ass eaten off that. That was really good. No, no. Don't play them ass. Don't forget to check your DMs. Don't play them ass. Yeah, pull up your IG DMs. You know what? But to answer your question, Cardi, getting your ass ate is not gay. It's not.

Not gay, right? When you request it like that. How you get your ass gay makes you gay. I mean, how you get your ass ate makes you gay. That was gay. That was gay. That was gay. But my thing is, you shouldn't be allowed To speak of this man In disgust

I'm not Hey I did it I didn't take it As far as she was speaking In disgust It was just a mate Like what the fuck Well I don't want no bitch

That ever came through And did all that for me To leave and be somewhere Talking about Yo that nigga Joe Is super gay Me personally I would just like

To have a better rapport With the bitches that I You could on all fours for You should have been Real nice with her No Right You will blast him

it's over yeah exactly luckily I never will but I might have to question niggas talking about Maddie's amazing head though

15 minutes whoa no whoa get dispel that I don't know I don't know

the thing is he don't like hair he likes that other extra shit so you know what in her defense the queen in her defense you lucky my nigga she brings us right back The thing is, he don't like hair. He likes that other extra shit. So, you know what? It hurt the fans. The queen.

It hurt the fans. Queen party. You lucky, my nigga. She brings us right back full circle every time. You lucky, son. Thank you, queen party. He's into other shit. Yep. All right, so I like story time with Marissa.

Yeah, that was my craziest moment in my life. I've never gone back to that kind of situation. I never sent another DM in my life after that. And I've never found myself in such a shitty situation. Pun intended. So is anybody getting you something for Christmas? No. I mean, yeah.

What are you going to give me? A fucking card? I got a lot of people shit for Christmas though. It's like, damn. Every time I try to do some Christmas shopping, I end up just buying myself a whole bunch of shit. I saw your mom in Walgreens last week. I bought my mom something. Yeah, she told me. I bought my mom something. I end up just buying myself a whole bunch of shit. Yeah, happened to me. I saw your mom in Walgreens last week. I bought my mom something. Yeah, she told me.

I bought my mom something. I'm trying to decide if I've been talking to a few of these hoes long enough to get them presents. You're going to get L.A. boo a present? Everybody simmer down, first of all. That's number one. I don't know what you talking about, nor do I live a life that I don't live life the way that you do. Or do I live a life that I don't live life the way that you do? So I have no clue who or what you're talking about or why.

If there was an L.A. boo. Does she consider y'all dating? Who? The girl you're trying to get for. Don't step in the ring. The problem here, queen, is that you keep talking about she. Like, I ain't got all the bitches. That's number one. I got all the bitches. How many bitches do you think you're going to have to get, bitch? I'm talking about a plet ain't got all the bitches. That's number one. I got all the bitches.

How many bitches do you think you're going to have to kick in? I'm talking about a plethora of hoes, queen. I'm not talking about like just one. I'm talking about all of them. I mean, you got a nice voice and you like skin. I bet you do. But like, what I'm saying is. That might have to be my next verified drop.

Yo, hey, Austin. That one piece of audio that she just said, that might have to come on before New Joe, that might replace New Joe Buttons. We should start our podcast

with that every week. Hey, hold that clip, Austin. And you gotta hit the space bar many times. Make a note of whatever she just said.

Yeah, we gonna find a way to use that motherfucker. Cardi is amazing. Alright, nah, but I'm joking around, of course,

but I don't really like doing Christmas shopping and all that. Tomorrow's actually supposed to be, today rather, supposed to be the most gridlocked day traffic-wise in the city. I changed a lot of plans because of that. It's going to be raining. Rain automatically means bad drivers. And now you're talking about Christmas shopping. People are off work, last-minute shoppers.

I want nothing to do with traffic. So I'm dead in all of that christmas eve i don't really have any plans what are you doing what are you doing for christmas i'm hosting getting that money yeah i'm trying but i you know what i hosted on thanksgiving and i was very miserable because i'm really close with my family so i say that if i'm gonna host it better be in new york so you know i'm'm hosting two places in New York. You know what I'm saying? Somewhere in Long Island, some B King.

Because I got to see. I spent all that money on them goddamn Toys R Us. I got to see my nieces and my little brother opening things up in my face. That's the best part. You're not going to put money in your man's commissary? Hmm? You're not going to put money in your man's commissary? Oh, no.

He good? Today. Today was his day. Oh, all right. Then he go next week. You know what I'm saying? Look at you. That's dope. I do respect you on it down the way that you day. Then he go next week. You know what I'm saying? Look at you. That's dope.

I do respect you on it down the way that you are. Yeah, that's pretty. I respect women that hold it down for their significant others who may be away. I do.

If he plays me though, I'm going to fuck his ass up. Well, no. I believe you. That's the attitude you should have. Fuck his ass up. That's right. All right, baby.

Have a good day. You looking at me like you about to... You know what I mean? Chill. Is he light skinned with a nice voice? Yeah, word. of two you should have fuck his ass up that's right all right baby you're looking at me like you're about to y'all made chill is he light skin with a nice voice yeah word no we good we good we good we gave i remember one night i gave your best friend a whole lot of my money one night went to us hey yeah basically it was something and i don't never pay her no mind what's her name with the curly the curly afro little like i don't know i've been seeing that girl for years right and i retired from going to strip club but one night i

creeped back in there it was an empty night and she looked a lot better to me than she had ever looked before or maybe this was the first time i had ever looked at her for real at all and i sure enough gave her a couple dollars too and was mad about it the next day. Why? No, we don't do that. We don't do that. I ain't doing that. Do what? What?

Be mad? Why? You mad? No, tipping a strip club. What the hell would I be doing doing that for? I don't know. To somebody I ain't never fucked. And don't plan on fucking. That thing is like a sport.

Like, guys throwing money is a sport Like It's like a sport Not for me It's fun I hate sports If that's a sport If that's a sport

I'm not athletic I want nothing to do With that particular sport Put me at the bottom Of no Bitch It don't It don't feel a little good

Nah Watching my fucking Hard earned money Fucking go in the air Because a bitch went to DR And got some lipo done No She ain't got no lipo.

She natural. I'm not talking about her. I'm the fake bitch. No, no, I'm not talking about her. I'm the one with fake teeth and fake ass. No, no, I wasn't talking about your friend. I wasn't talking about your friend. I'm just talking about period.

Yeah. Like, no, no, no. I can't do that. If I'm giving somebody some money, it's because they're either a really good friend of mine, and I'm supporting their, whatever their objective is is or I'm fucking but you know what that gave you a good name but that was a long time ago

but no that gave you a good like that gave you like a good like you know a good feeling in my heart a good talk like it's like yo you know he was like

oh we saw Joe Biden give you money yeah we fuck with him yeah we like him oh no I liked her I liked her then we liked you you know what I'm saying

and then when I saw you in front of what's that club That I stopped going to Are they still open Lit was it Lit is closed Lit by Riviera

Lit's closed Lit is closed right I think so I just like the name Long Island City right Yeah I think the last time I was with you

You and Ish I haven't been there In quite some time But then I saw you Outside of there I think it was there And I was like yo Fuck with that shit Sean I like the videos Or maybe it was lust I don't i think it was there and i was like yo fuck with

that shit shine i like the videos or maybe it was lost i don't remember where it was but i do remember saying that so i'm taking i'm taking full part in seeing the vision early man yeah yeah hell yeah hell yeah you even invested you were a first investor yeah man bitch got my motherfucking singles austin Where we at with time Austin My timeline is going crazy Cause I tweeted that Cardi's here I didn't hear what he said Yeah me neither

Hour 24 Hour 24 What is he saying An hour and 24 minutes An hour and 24 minutes See what the queen does Oh my god We've been

We rarely go over an hour Yeah queen First of all I apologize For having you here. Nah, it's fun. I heard some real freaky shit. I actually feel real whack because Shorty made me feel

like I ain't a freak like that. You know all these great things, like what? Yeah, but these white bitches, man. These white bitches, they different.

Hey, hey, it was a one-time situation that I didn't know what I signed up for at that point. Don't let the Mendez fool you. She's white, she's white, she's white. I thought I'd get it. Do you have Hennessy point. Don't let the Mendez fool you. She's white. She's white.

I thought I'd get it. Do you have Hennessy tattooed on your arm? Yeah, that's my sister's name. Oh. Yo, we're spirit animals. Did you forget it? Nah, I just...

I'll be a dick. I'm gonna have my... You know, that's... That's a valid question. That's the her love thing. You know, it's like, yo, I fucks with you. I gotta get you in my body.

It's big, too. Yeah, it's big. Where is it? Let me see. And it's a wonderful name. I like Hen with you. I got to get you in my body. It's big, too. Yeah, it's big. Where is it? Let me see. And it's a wonderful name. I like Hennessy. No shit. We couldn't tell.

No shit, Rory. You like Hennessy. You should get those, the flowers red. Maybe Hennessy don't like red. Because she's got that complexion that would look good. Yeah, I hear that. She does. I'm a corny ass bitch.

I got mad,umb ass niggas Names tattooed on me Do you really? I feel like it's easy to cover though Marissa too Oh yeah That's why I threw them in red I threw them in red

So you could Marissa got a nigga's name She ain't even never been with Tattooed on She's about to DM it I have my own name tattooed on me That's it What do you mean?

She's just naming mad artists Young Bear She got every artist On my back Yeah yeah word we have some questions from fans uh of i'll name this podcast later via twitter uh i'm not gonna say his twitter name but how does it feel to be the voice of the new generation of hoes i didn't even thought i was a voice i don't even think i'm the a voice of hoes i feel like i'm just the voice of everything because there's sometimes they'll talk about

shit that bitches like me go through or people in the hood go through. Just dumb shit. Hold up now. It's a lot of responsibility. No offense, Queen.

I don't want Cardi to be the voice of everything. Not everything. Not everything. Everything. Everything that I could cover or that I could go through, that's what I cover up.

But whatever. Leave some things to the other people. Leave some things to Obama and shit. What are your thoughts on slut-shaming coming from my man, Nigel D? What is that? Slut-shaming? Yeah. I mean, it's a little, what the fuck?

It is what it is. Like, there's certain things that there's sluts, that sluts do that is like, yeah, you should be ashamed of that bitch. And there's certain things that is like yo Wait a minute Just because I'm out here Showing half my skin And everything You know a lot of people

Just think that everything Is being a hoe If you show a lot of skin And everything Oh you being a hoe Bitch You think God gave me A flat ass stomach

For me not to show it Right Talk that shit Talk that shit Gym on top of gym On top of gym Like I'm not I'm not telling girls

To suck dick Every single day I'm saying When you suck dick Do it good Like I'm not saying To fucking sell your pussy Be this and that

What I'm trying to say is You know guys They use bitches For what they want She got used to get To get A nigga ass in now So you should've used him

And got what the fuck you want What the hell you want No truck fit sweater You should've got that From that what the fuck you want What the hell you want A truck fit sweater You should've got that From that motherfucker After he make you Well I got the truck fit sweater From somebody else

Oh man Cardi bless you That's the type of things That I be trying to promote I'm not trying to say like Damn Cardi Yeah be a hoe You failed the queen Suck everybody's dick

Yeah You let Cardi down Cardi bless you man Cardi bless you Yo what would Cardi do Oh man What is the queen's ideal date? What?

What's your ideal date? What's date? I mean, it depends if I like you. Like, if I like you. Oh, you mean like the 25th? What the date? The day of the 21st. It's Monday.

What do you mean? It's the 23rd is it? It's the 23rd right? What day? I don't know what the date is You can listen to this on any day right? When does it come out? That day You got a smartphone?

Alright We're done. Shut up. That was good, though. All right, go ahead. If I like you and shit, I would like to go to dinner with you. I'd say fuck ass niggas. A good day for me is if you text me back and be like, yo, I had a good time with you.

But if I don't like you and I'm using you for what I want, my ideal day is to go shopping. I don't like you. I don't even want to see you. I don't want to eat with you. Talk about it. I want to go and get what I want from you. But if I like you, I will like, oh yeah, good time, good time, good vibes. I want to see you tomorrow.

That's an ideal date. Because like I said, I date fuck ass niggas. Fuck ass niggas is going to fuck you on the first ass date. Or get their ass ate. Or get their ass ate Or get their ass ate On all fours Yo Hey Austin Hey Austin

Guard this Audio piece With your life Man I just wanna be on record As saying This is some of the greatest Audio

That I probably have ever heard in my entire life. I know y'all. Yeah, this is pretty interesting. This is really, this is cool. How many podcasts

have you done so far? I think I've done like, like two. All right, so you ain't, so she's never done a podcast. This is, this is pretty lit.

I like this. High five to you, Queenie. I fucks with it. I fucks with it. Thank you, man. Thank you. Fuck with it. This was amazing.

It was. I hope all of you. I'm blessed. I feel blessed., man. Thank you. I fuck with it. This was amazing. It was. I hope all of you. I'm blessed. I feel blessed. I know. I think our lives are significantly better now that Cardi has faced our problems. I mean, Cardi blessed us all, man. I hope you mere mortals and peons and peasants out there.

I hope you took something from this. Along with Rory, myself, and the not worthy at all body, we couldn't be more. Let's bow our heads for a second. Let's have a moment of silence. And just have a moment of silence for all those that wish they can be in the presence of the beautiful Queen Cardi B right now. Can I get an amen? You could have been. Bitch.

I fucked this up. First of all, you ain't never in your life. Not one family member has ever asked you to start the prayer. I was finishing it. Nobody said, all right, y'all, the food is done. Marissa. We can to start the prayer. I was finishing it. Nobody said, all right, y'all, the food is done. Marissa. Marissa, go and get the babies

and come on and say the family prayer so we can eat now. Wait, I'm also not from the South, so what? Oh, yeah, true. Nobody would sound like that. What do white people's voices sound like? Marissa.

All right, Paula. Marissa what? Paula, Marissa, come on. Shut the fuck up, Marissa. What do white people make? sound like? Marissa. All right, Paula. Marissa what? Paula. Marissa. Come on. Shut the fuck up, Marissa. What do white people make? The apple pie is ready. They make like kielbasa and sauerkraut and ham. Yeah, word.

Word. What is this? Oh, yeah. I had to get some joyful, joyful plan. Why don't you put it by the mic so people can actually hear it? I unplugged the aux. Well, why don't you plug the aux back up? Keep talking. Now you just look good. Oh, why don't you plug the aux back up? Keep talking.

Now you just look good. Oh, shit. I forgot we have cameras on us. Hey, when did Rory become cute? Why is Rory attractive now? This is the second time you physically judged me in two weeks. Hey, I'm not gay or anything, but Jesus. Oh, is it the haircut?

All right, let's wrap up. You, like, crack yourself up sometimes. Because you're a fucking loser. But if I don't, first of all, I try to, can you turn this off for a minute? Yeah, she's nice. What the fuck? So you're going to leave it there? It's a Baptist podcast.

It is a Baptist podcast. No, I feel like fucking laughter helps to avoid things like high stress levels, high blood pressure, all things that make black people have heart attacks and shit. Why you have to take A mad scientific Got mad serious and shit Cardi I want to thank you I want to thank your Your manager

I want to be on record Saying I think he's doing A phenomenal job I agree So whatever you two Got going on Keep it up Thank you

Keep it up You're a friend of the podcast We will be rooting for you In all of your future endeavors Except when you just go around Punchinganish bitches in the face like that's crazy it's kind of entertaining yeah it is i can't wait i'm watching i got bamboozled just protecting yourself i get it yeah self-defense i get it self-defense no i get it i get it uh any last words from the two of you no just thank you wonderful oh wait i wanted to say thanks for

coming and thanks to your manager And thanks to Chanel for making it happen What are you doing for New Year's Eve? I'm gonna go host in Detroit You know what I'm saying? I'm juicing it I'm pipping the game out As you should

Alright, cool I'll talk to you after I got a couple bitches that want me to tell you that they love you. Yeah. We got to take a really cute picture for the podcast art. Oh, we got to take a picture for the gram.

Word. I don't know, like me, my best friend Cardi. We are, Madi, Madi, Madi. Let me get this for a minute. All right, I will name this podcast later.

Episode number, what is this, 45? 45. 45. We will be back next week. Wait, wait, wait. Time out, time out before we leave.

Do we have to do a podcast next week? Like, we don't need like A Christmas break Or a New Year's break No we don't get a break Or some shit No break No break Okay Monty and Rory

Will be back next week With the podcast Monty, Rory Kim and all of her Fucking hoodlums Cardi Alright we gone Peace

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