The Johnny Salami Podcast - Amy Cardinale

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Amy Cardinale by The Johnny Salami Podcast

I think I took a shit in my neighbors lawn Yeah Laughter Music Well I love you madly dear And I need you badly dear Why did you leave me here Without your love

Music Music Music Music Music Oh bro I'm hurting. You seem so indignant all the time. What do you mean? Like, you just...

What does that mean? You don't want to be anywhere dude you should have seen you fucking outside of the market what was the the energy i was getting just confused bro like you just don't know where you are i really never want to think about how i come off to other people but i think i come off like i need an aid around me i'm just amazed at like where your eyes go like where you're looking all the time you know where was I looking at your phone like at the sky I was right next to you I was like 15 feet right how long were you standing there for three to five minutes maybe why didn't you honk I did honk after the fifth minute I was like I'll give her a chance but I think because i want i think i want people to think

i'm normal in public but i don't think i am no i was legitimately worried i videotaped you because i was like this is fucking this is why it's not nice i think i'm doing well i don't think i am probably not it felt like nat geo a little bit like it was like kind of beautiful to watch in a sense but it was also sad you know what i mean you ever seen like planet earth yeah i know but i have to like walk around with myself yeah no you'll be all right dude i don't know it's a good thing i picked you up though people have been knocking on my neighbor's door and they're like oh is johnny here my neighbors are uh they're pissed dude they're like who the fuck is johnny

i think they're catching on though so you think so i think they already think i shoot porn in here do you think so you can like see through the windows and see the cameras and stuff yeah i do dude yeah you do you wouldn't participate you would just be behind the oh dude i'd make a sick porno bro yeah probably not but who would your genre be probably like um emotional like it would be under that category oh that's horrible you would fucking hate it so there's like a plot line that you gotta follow yeah there's feelings involved oh it's horrible i know dude you'd fucking hate it oh i would hate it i really hate it i hear even hearing about it. Yeah.

Okay. It's all right, though. So it would be under the four women category. Maybe. It would be, yeah. Is that usually, do women watch porn? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. What do they watch? I don't know. Just men, like, fucking kiting? What they watch. Yeah, you do. You lie. I can feel you lie. i don't watch what they would watch i feel like women if they would watch porn would just want like a man that's like how's your day or you know like i want to know what you watch yeah i want to know what do you feel

about your co-worker that would be like enough for a woman to get off yeah i just want to like ask you questions okay Okay, go. There's nothing better. Like I can feel it like when I text you too, when I like ask you a question. I just know like you're not going to answer it, but I just love knowing how uncomfortable you are. You know what I mean? Anytime anyone asks me a question, I'm like, what do you think about the stars? Like I can't

handle it wow yeah maybe you should be more open man what are you you think you're open yeah i'm an open book to who have you asked me like one reader reader like one person i don't know what that was what was that i don't know let it go let it go i know i left my helmet home what you think you're an open person? For sure. Like, if you were like, John, what type of porn do you watch? Dude, I'd show you my history. I would never want to see that.

Really? No. It's not that bad, honestly. I don't know. I really don't know. I wouldn't put it past you. Yeah. It's something weird.

You know? You don't know, like, any weird stuff? Like, men getting, like, denied? I feel like you'd be into like some sort of like crazy shit. No, not really. Which is disappointing. Really? Yeah. You're Italian, right?

Yeah. Wow. When I met you, I thought you were a Puerto Rican. Okay. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Are you disappointed? A little bit. Yeah.

Okay. Sorry about that. Yeah. Do you like adopt a lot of like italian uh traits and shit like would you i don't know maybe a little bit i guess so but not like the fancy kind like the trashy kind yeah you know what i mean what does that mean i don't know like i make jarred sauce and then say it was, I made it. I don't know. Is that what they do?

Or like yelling or being loud or cursing. I think that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I feel like Italian is kind of like the new OG now. Is it? Even if you're like 2% Italian, people are just like. Milking it. Coming out of the closet. You know what I mean? Oh, they're like, I'm Italian. They do the 23andMe. They're like, oh, shit.

It's time to get a Jesus piece and molest some women. Absolutely. Well, you got to hit a woman. Yeah. I didn't know I was really Italian until I, you know, fought a woman. And I was like, oh, I like this. Yeah. Well, that's what we call it.

Now I understand my grandfather more. Well, we call that a lesbian. Okay. You really always push that I'm a lesbian. It's like a thing for you. You love to just... I just want to see you get mad, dude. You...

A little bit. Everybody loves seeing me upset, and I don't understand why. No, not upset. Man. Angry. Yeah, well, that's the same thing. No.

What's the difference between upset and mad? It would be so funny to see you angry, dude. Why? I don't know. We've been talking about this a lot recently. I just enjoy seeing people get angry for some reason. You have a problem. Yeah.

Do you get angry? Well, I wouldn't want to hurt you, but I would just like, if you were mad about something else, I'd be like, dude, this is fucking awesome. You know what I mean? No. Like, I wouldn't want to cause you to get angry, but if I saw you angry, I'd be like, dude, this is fucking sick. So what do you think I'd be like if I was angry? Maybe just aggressive. You'd probably be a little more open you know a little more open yeah you'd probably just start i repeat things a lot from angry yeah i'm like you gotta be kidding me that would be sick if you got angry dude what if you got angry and you just started

spewing out what type of porn you watch and like punching holes in the wall i don't want to do that again i know dude yeah you can't get caught again yeah i can't can't do that every time i mean you're already on probation so what are you what do you do when you're angry cry i feel like you cry when's the last time you cried well if i'm sad a few days ago you cried a few days ago yeah i'll just listen to landslide dude and bawl my eyes out i would think you would masturbate to landslide really yeah i don't know you have i mean i could try it wouldn't be like it wouldn't feel good though okay well it's a personal problem yeah that would just add to my problems i don't know if you could even add any more at this point really there's a lot you can always add no i don't know you just can't subtract it's a long list yeah

you can add you just can't subtract i don't know where You just can't subtract. It's a long list. Yeah. You can add. You just can't subtract. I don't know where you'd even start to subtract. Damn. You think I would jerk off to landslide you? I would not put it past you. Wow. I really wouldn't. After all we've been through, that's how you look at me? I mean.

I would like to think if you were in the jury, you'd be like, he did not jerk off to landslide. I would be like, he's guilty of everything. If you were, if you were, if I was in the jury for anything that you did, I would have been like, absolutely. Yeah. Are you like that with your other friends? Are you like, you know? I think, I think all my friends are sick.

Everyone's like mentally ill. Yeah. But would you stand up for them? I would. I would. If you, if you were like, I killed somebody, I'd be like, all right, I'm not gonna, I won't, I wouldn't say anything. Wow.

That was like the most extreme. I don't know what goes there. Wow. I would cover it. That's the Italian in you though. Yeah, I would cover it up for anything. Wow. That was like the most extreme. I don't know what goes there. Wow. I would cover it. That's the Italian in you, though. Yeah, I would cover it up for you. Wow, so you are Italian. Yeah, I would cover it.

I feel like so well. You've been watching The Sopranos way too much, dude. That's probably where that came from. I love The Sopranos. Yeah. It's so good. And I'm sexually attracted to Tony. Yeah.

Yeah. I just like know the answer. You know what I mean? Like, see how we're like putting pieces. We're just like putting a puzzle together. You know what I mean? Like, see how we're, like, putting pieces. We're just, like, putting a puzzle together. You know what I mean? It just takes a few minutes. Thanks for mansplaining social interactions to me.

Yeah. I think Christopher is very hot, though. Who's Christopher? From The Sopranos. Is he the one with the black hair? Well, they all have black hair. Are you kidding me right now? I've never fucking seen it. Dark hair. Are you kidding me right now?

Dark hair. It's everybody. Yeah, I've never seen it, dude. I don't have that type of money. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? It's on HBO Max, dude. You know how much money that is?

I'd have to go to the bank, get a fucking loan. What's wrong with you? It's like 20 bucks a month. That's not so bad. think i should spend 20 you could get a free trial binge and then cancel yeah or i could just go down the block to a local pizza restaurant and watch a murder in real time you know watch some guy get pissed off about he got like about deli meats and fucking stab someone that's true you know i'd rather see it in real time than watch the fucking sopranos it's a good show it's worth watching yeah it's a good show you ever like jerk off

to the sopranos why is this the theme of today i don't know why is this there's always a theme dude people are obsessed with it people are literally obsessed with the show i'm obsessed with it yeah i'm obsessed it's like all i want to talk about ever really yeah i love it so much do you are you like in love with italian men now i've always been in love with italian men really what about them like it's your own i don't know it's like their failure to like respect women yeah that's probably number one yeah that's good feeling constantly unsafe is my thing yeah for sure so if you saw a dude like a wife beater with like a Jesus piece. I feel like at this point I'm the one wearing the wife beater.

Really? Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. I mean, they're beating the wives though. Yeah. You know what? Well, they earned that shirt then.

That would be artistic though. If you were wearing a wife beater and you got beat up by an Italian dude. Mm-hmm. Damn. Damn. Perfect. Full circle. Really full circle. What do you think it is, though, about, like, Italian dudes that really...

I like dark features. Okay. I think they're hot. Like, I'm afraid of blonde men. I'm not into it. Oh, yeah. Like German men? Yeah.

Yeah. Not trustworthy. Yeah. Yeah. What's that about? Mm. Uh-huh. Like a dude who looks like Ellen DeGeneres? Yeah, you might as well be a lady. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. That's pretty scary. It's that about? Like a dude who looks like Ellen DeGeneres?

Yeah, you might as well be a lady. Yeah. I agree. That's pretty scary. It's pretty horrifying. Yeah. And some men love blonde chicks that all look the same. Right?

You see them in troves in the city. Yeah, I've always been in love with blonde women who have highlighted hair for some reason. I don't know what it is. Okay. I've never dated a woman with blonde hair, though but that's a thing for you something about it dude just like the super cuts highlights okay i don't know what it is man you know i'm trying to think maybe it was something from my childhood maybe it's like a show or something did one of your mom's friends like molest you and that's why you're. I wish. That would be sick.

I know. Wouldn't that be great? My mom's like 70. So that would have been fucking awesome. Don't be an ageist. That would have been great for you. Well, that would have made it even more legendary. Yeah.

It would have been pretty great. Like a MILF. I've been watching a lot of MILF porn. Okay. Sorry. So much stuff. I don't want to know. I know.

I should let it out. Yeah. You're really letting it out. I'm sorry. And you're not even holding it in. I'm trying to think though. Like. Why do you always call yourself gay? I text you and every first thing I do, you know I'm gay.

I feel like you call me gay more than I call me gay. You know? Well, I'm just trying to... That's what friendship is. But you call yourself gay a lot. You sneak it in there a lot. Yeah. You have thoughts?

Yeah. Okay. Sometimes, yeah. Kissing? Men? Not so much kissing. lot you sneak it in there a lot yeah you've thoughts yeah okay sometimes yeah kissing men not so much kissing it's more so just like the crotch area kissing you could kiss down there i think it's just when i talk to a dude and i have like a really good conversation i'm just like i would never get this with a woman you know like right now i'm just kidding no but like there have been you basically treat me like i'm a man though let's be honest no dude says something nice to you you're like all right dude you're

fucking gay like get away from me like when i'm nice to you you're like confused you know and then you're like you're never nice to me i've tried a few times a few times you call you said you fuck before when you were picking me up from the you said i hate you this is a conversation with you yeah but imagine i said i'm late because i'm traveling far then you said i hate you i will pick you up you fuck That is, where is this conversation about nice men? You were late, dude. Okay. I was, I traveled far.

You don't need to say I hate you, you fuck. I know. Like, that's. I know, but it would be weird if I was like, I'm on my way. You could have just said KK or okay. Yeah. What if I was like, I can't wait to see you though. Okay.

Why does it have to go there? You have to be. You were like, die, bitch. See you in five minutes, you fuck. Like, I was like, Jesus like jesus yeah i don't know i just feel like that's what friends do that's true it was it was it was a lot i was like all right yeah yeah it's okay i don't know i'd just be weird if it was like you know yeah i'm on my way can't wait to catch up that would be super no that'd be worse yeah that'd be way worse yeah yeah yeah i don't know i just feel like being nice to you would feel weird i'm glad well that's the energy that

i give up i feel like i'm just making you upset now no you're not what other questions do you have for me let's go what do you got buddy yeah well i googled you dude you know homo i just googled you dude you were in um when you google your name you were in a gillian keeve sketch i was yeah that's hilarious dude why i watched it too it was so funny you did a great job i didn't do anything i just sat there yeah no you did great did they did they single-handedly, like, pick you out? Yeah, I knew somebody that connected me. Yeah.

They were like, Amy would fucking crush this. Yeah, I think I usually play parts where I'm mean to men. Or just like an upset wife, like a divorced or potentially divorced wife. Yeah, pissed off. Yeah. Dude, it was so good. I'm just pissed off a lot i think yeah really you feel that way i don't know do you think i'm an angry person

no i just told you i'd love to see you angry and i just haven't seen it yet i don't know oh maybe that's what it is maybe because like you get angry sometimes and you like don't want to get angry i should probably stop uh telling people that because i keep bringing it up i'm like dude i would just love it's like a common theme with me i'm like dude i would love to see you angry yeah because you're a pain in the ass and people are like dude why you know but i kind of get it because part of me gets it because it's like funny because you get to just create a fire and leave and be like, Oh, I did this. But,

um, certain people I don't ever want to see angry because I'd be afraid. Like there's certain people where I'm like, Oh, you'd be fucking horrifying if you were angry. Yeah, that's true. I've seen a few people angry where I'm like,

this person could potentially cause a genocide. That's kind of impressive. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I feel like they'd be so angry that they would, like, plan it out and shit. That's a lot of work. Yeah. You've got to stay angry for a long time.

It's like they would, it's like a long-term. Anger. Anger. It's like, this is planned out. It's almost impressive. Very impressive, dude. Yeah. You know?

But for me. You have to keep re-angering yourself so you could keep going. Yeah, it's almost like a school shooter. Like, there's a lot of planning that, like, goes into that. I know. I'm a type B personality. I could never do it. I couldn't pull it off.

I procrastinate. Yeah, I mean, I might jerk off on the highway or something. Yeah, of course. But, like, I would never hurt anyone. Yeah, those things go together really well. Emotionally. I mean, I was about to finish your sentence because that made so much sense yeah yeah what you just said it's crazy i'm sorry no it's not no you're not no but dude that's sick man that you were in a gillian key sketch i'm proud of you man thanks my career is really flourishing i was laughing so hard when

i googled that it was like amazing i was like holy shit you know because you never brought it up initially when we first met i wouldn't bring it up that was like two years ago really damn dude that's like the first thing i would bring up to anyone no i feel like you got to kept current stuff that you're doing yeah that's more important and there's nothing what's that what song is that no it's just me making a song i said there's not i don't have anything going on right oh wow there's another chromosome honestly choke on your whatever that is yeah it's just water man okay all right yeah you won your um jiu-jitsu tournament i did and you uh You cried afterwards I did cry Yeah

Are you gonna make fun of me for that? No dude I'm just I was going to And now I'm not going to Yeah it's not nice No dude that's sick man So you won the whole How many uh

How many matches was it? It was only two Only two? Mmhmm Is it cause you're so small? No, they were, no. What does that have to do with anything? That's disadvantageous, if anything.

Well, how much, what was the weight class again? 115. Dude. What, that's tiny. Wow. And how much? I gain weight now. How much do you weigh now?

120. Hell yeah, dude. You like, you followed through with it I gain weight now. How much do you weigh now? 120. Hell yeah, dude. You followed through with it, though, dude. That's good. What? You followed through with the weight cut and stuff. Yeah, it sucked. You persevered, man.

That's fucking sick. Yeah, I was really happy to not have to. How did it go down? You just show up. Wait, is the weigh-in the day before or the day of? The day of. Oh, really? So you don't have a night to eat whatever you want? Not even. No, is the weigh-in the day before or the day of? The day of. Oh, really? Uh-huh. So you don't have like a night to like eat whatever you want?

Not even. No, you don't. Damn. What did you feel like? I don't even remember. I just remember it being like an adrenaline rush. Yeah. And now I deadlift all the time.

That's my newest thing. Yeah. I have like male rage. I don't know why. Interesting. Yeah, I feel like you're about to like fight me right now, dude. I would. I really don't care.

I literally don't care. It'd be good content, man. Would it? Yeah. Like you're like, I don't know what you're doing. You're like finger in your knee right now. I don't know. You're just getting ready.

You're like trying to figure out how you're going to choke me out. But now that I, now that I, and I do, now that I deadlift, I'm like, what's the next step now? Well, you said you hurt your back though from anal, right? Oh, now I'm fine. Don't tell, don't let people know I'm like what's the next step now well you said you hurt your back though from now I'm fine don't don't let people know I'm weak oh I I don't know what the next fitness what do you where do you go from there oh from jujitsu from like no from like power lifting and deadlifting I mean usually people don't do uh like power lifting and stuff like later on in life it's usually like like early on you know do like when you're like 18 19 like slip a few discs and then you go oh shit like this fucking

hurts and then you go i'm never doing this again but you on the other hand you're like yo let's get it you know yeah let's get it that's exactly? Yeah. Let's get it. That's exactly what I feel. Do you think you like slipped a disc or something? Or you think you just. No, I'm fine. I deadlifted yesterday. Yeah. Cause I saw the bar when you were deadlifting. Like you're putting like the 25s on each side.

So I did the little weights and then I did the, um, what are they called? The outlet. What are they called? The big ones. Tits. 45s. Yeah. So then the next time I did it, I did 155.

So the bar. So I know. So it was two. It was 35. And 35. Okay. So you couldn't do like 45s on each side? That would be 135.

Wait. The bar is 45. I did 45, 45, and then like 5s. Yeah, well, I'm just saying, so the picture you put up, you had like the smaller weights on, so the bar is lower. Yeah, that was stupid. But you're kind of short, though, so it's normal for you probably but it wasn't good it wasn't good but the straight deadlift i can do yeah i can do the 45s but it's it's a lot yeah that's like

way over your body weight that's that's crazy there's rage in me deep rage and then i lift shit and then i and i have no idea how small i am i think i'm a large human being and i walk around like i take up space and i'm a little shit of a person when you're dead lifting are you just doing like scoliosis for time what do you mean like what's your form looking like you just like no i got trained on how to do form. Really? Yeah. By a lesbian? Yeah. Who trained you? One of my guy friends.

That's hot. Who lifts. Oh, dude. That's sick, bro. Yeah. So I learned. And then also watch a bunch of videos. Oh, wow. So you guys met up and he was like, yo, let me show you the way.

Or was, did he go to the same gym? Was it a quest? No. Can we dive into this, please? You don't go to the same gym? Was this a quest? No. Can we dive into this, please? You don't need to ask permission. I know it hurts, but I just want to know. So this guy goes to the gym.

I asked him. I asked several of my guy friends for advice because there's different ones. You do RDLs. I mean, Romanian deadlift and then straight deadlift and then sumo you told me is for pussies no you said that to me

someone told me it's not real wow you just believe them I don't know I feel like that's what chicks do though sumo squats it's literally for pussies so do you do them yeah

theory proven correct yeah yeah um no i learned i practiced how to do it like with the arm and then yeah yeah if you do the over under um i do the over under for straight deadlifts and then for romanian deadlifts i do the this one yeah yeah yeah back in the day i used to do the over under and then i would have a dude stand behind me and fuck you yeah okay and that's how i like really got my numbers up yeah it's like when i would max out i would specifically have a dude behind me fully erect yeah absolutely i would tell him to shut the fuck up and just put it in yeah yeah when i'm ready yeah and pump with each rep yeah there was not even a weight bar around it was just there was no there

was no weight in the gym yeah no no just you and him no we were in the shower yeah absolutely i was like oh drop something yeah exactly that's why i'm here now it's great what a what a love story now i was gonna say if you do the over under uh that like caused imbalances for me did it yeah like in my hips oh really yeah i would lean to one side because like if this is like your underhand like when i would go up i would kind of like shift to that side so like when you're having anal from now on you're going to be at like a 45 degree angle and your man's going to be confused yeah but i feel like he's already probably like confused enough so oh absolutely might as well just spice things up you know especially with like the callus

on your hands too oh yeah that's good keep going dude i just put a flannel on really yeah just like brokeback mountain wow that's the role play just put a flannel on. Really? Yeah, just like Brokeback Mountain. Wow. That's the role play. Just take a sledgehammer to the fridge. Absolutely. Kill him, then smell his clothes in his closet. Yeah.

I miss you. Wow. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. We're on a roll. Do you feel happy? Wow. I feel like we're on a roll right now.

I feel like you don't feel anything. I feel way more than you feel. I promise you that much. I feel like you don't feel anything. I feel way more than you feel. I promise you that much. Because I know you're an emotional person, but I... Are you very emotional? Yeah, I'm just very good at hiding it.

I feel like in my head I'm very, like, emotional and stuff, but, like, externally, like, I don't know how to change my look. You know, I just kind of look this way. You know what I mean? You always look confused. Okay. You have anything else? No, you look like you just landed in a place and you don't know where you are.

Yeah. You know? Like, you just always have Google. Like, you know people have Google Maps on and they're curious where they're going? That's just your permanent face. Maybe I am confused. Sexually. Well, yeah. This is what I permanent phase. Maybe I am confused. Sexually. Well, yeah, this is what I'm saying.

You always go back to being gay. It's not in my head. It's funny. It's funny. Well, maybe it's true. Maybe you're gay. Maybe it is. I would come out if I could get hard to men or in general.

I was going to say in general. No, I'm piping out. I'm popping off. What do they call it? Popping out? Pop, is that a thing? Yeah. Popping out?

Yeah. I mean, I think that's what dudes yell when they're hard. They're like, I'm popping out. I'm popping out? Yeah. Then they just shoot off a gun. Okay. That's what I was taught, at least.

Yeah. I mean, i've never had sex so i have no idea yeah why so when you see me do you feel bad a little bit or i feel like you do i feel bad for everyone around you but nobody's like talking to me though i saw you at you at Brooklyn and I thought you would say hi to me. I hadn't seen you in so long. And I go, I know that guy. And I saw you and you saw me.

I know we saw each other when I walked in. And I go, he's like not going to say hi to me unless I say hi to you. And then we were in the main room and then you still didn't say hi to me again. You were like sitting at the table with your sneakers and this big ass backpack. Yeah, well, do you want me to be honest? You just stopped talking to me. Again, you were like sitting at the table with your sneakers and this big ass backpack. Yeah. Well, do you want me to be honest? You just stopped talking to me. So I was like, oh, this woman like feels bad for me.

No, that's not true at all. It probably is, though. You're probably like, what is this? Who is this man? No, I was excited to see you. Yeah, but like. I came right over to you and was chatting it up with you at the end. Yeah, after you hadn't talked to me for like a long time.

That's true. I do that sometimes. Well, that's your answer. You're telling me I'm confused, dude. I was just, you know. Yeah, that's what I do. I do that sometimes. Yeah.

And I, you know, I accepted it. I wasn't like upset or anything. But I was like, oh, this woman just felt bad for me. You know what I mean? Oh, that's where you went with it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, sometimes people just stop talking to each other, you know. mean? Oh, that's where you went with it. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Sometimes people just stop talking to each other, you know? That is true. Happens all the time. That is true. Happens a lot to me, you know? Most people who come on this podcast, I don't talk to them. Ever again. Ever again.

It's just like a one-time thing. Okay. You know, in my head, I'm like, oh, you know, it was a good time, but there's no like follow up. Have their names tattooed on you? Yeah. I have a shrine in my room. Do you collect the hair from the chair?

Yeah. I hope they come back. I'm like, what we had was great. So real. Yeah. We talk to each other though all the time. After I saw you, yeah, you started talking to me again. I was like, all right, this is fine, I guess.

Oh God, that makes me feel horrible. That makes me feel like you didn't want to talk to me again. I was like, all right, this is fine, I guess. Oh, God, that makes me feel horrible. That makes me feel like you didn't want to talk to me again. Well, I mean, you just, you know, you just stopped talking to me, dude. That's the reason behind it. I didn't want to be like, yo, what's up? Hey, remember me? I don't think that would have been weird. Hey, remember that time you just stopped talking to me?

You know? True. Yeah. That is true. Why do you think you do that to people? I think I get freaked out by intimacy sometimes and closeness. When were we ever intimate?

No, just closeness, just friendship. Like sometimes I'll talk to people a lot. What? Dude, we sound like a divorced couple right now. We do, no, but I do this with a lot of people where I'll be really close to somebody and I'll talk to them a lot. Wow.

And then I'll get freaked out. Oh my God, so you were scared. i think i just turn i freak out no i just freak out in general it's everybody it's not just you it's a lot of people but you were scared we were gonna like become close no like no homo just like become friends wow we are friends i mean that was mean i think i mean like, you know, like watching the sunset together. You love the sunset. Telling gay jokes together. Dead lifting together, you know.

Dead lifting together. Wow, man. So you really bail like when you get close. That's so wild, dude. I know. Such an interesting human, close. That's so wild, dude. I know. Such an interesting human, dude. It's so bad. Wow.

I did that recently to a guy and I was like, oh, I have to start like telling people and not doing that. You have like attachment issues? I don't know if I have attachment issues. This is like an Italian dude you were trying to fuck? No, no, no. Just like a regular guy? Yeah.

Wow. That liked me. Oh, he liked you? Yeah. Well, that's different. I mean, I don't like you. I know. You're being really mean to me today.

Wow, so he liked you and, oh, that's fine. You know, like he liked you and you were like, hey, listen, like, I'm going to break your heart. Yeah, that's exactly what i texted i was like siri text this well i feel like it'd be yeah i think about that a lot you know what i want a woman to be like hey like i don't like you or what i want a woman to just stop talking to me i feel like both kind of had their place you know um what would you prefer well i mean nowadays you know women just kind of stop talking to me but i i know what that means you know i'm like oh yeah you did you know you hate me no they just think like you know what hasn't happened in a while because i'm really

do you hook up with people no i shouldn't have told you that I'm sorry I should have just lied Should I have lied? What would have been like a good answer? No because I knew you would be lying Oh if I was like I'm fucking shredding it Yeah I would know you'd be lying Wow dude I could ask your dog if you're getting laid

And your dog would find a notepad and a pen And be like no There would be some way you think it's that obvious yeah i i yeah okay no i'm not i haven't even you know yeah it's been a while you know i don't know i don't know i feel like i should lie at this point you know okay but it's fine dude i'm just saying i haven't in a while i haven't experienced that or like um a woman like ghosts me you don't put yourself out there though yeah not anymore okay no because you're afraid it's kind of like you with you know

i love how we're both describing the same thing just in different ways, you know? Except, like, you have options. Like, you have, like, a catalog of dicks that you can choose from. You know what I mean? Like, I wonder what, like, Reggie is doing today. Whereas I, I don't really have many options. But at the end of the day, it's still the same thing. Got it. I think it depends on the person, but my default is always like it'd be way worse to be somebody that's up someone's ass all the time. Like that to me is I'm the opposite where I'm like avoidant and I'll stay away from you, which I understand doesn't make people feel that good.

I've gotten much better like over the past few months. Yeah. to understand doesn't make people feel that good i've gotten much better like over the past few months yeah um but then there's people that are like i think there's nothing more unattractive than someone that's like suffocating oh yeah clingy person yeah yeah like sucks all the fun out of things yeah yeah i'm the same exactly but I use that as an excuse for how I act, which is the complete opposite. I'm like, well, it could be like this. Yeah, so. And they're like, I just want your love and attention. And I'm like. Yeah, but like constantly, though, it's kind of crazy.

What? Like to constantly. Dude, honestly, I hate to say it, but just even being around someone too much, I just get like. I'm like, dude, I need some space, bro. I think it's normal. You're also an introvert yeah but that goes with like um relationships and stuff like i wouldn't be able to be with a woman every day i'd be like you're fucking annoying me right now i'm trying to play xbox eat a fucking sandwich like can you fuck off i'm trying to kiss my boyfriend please leave yeah Is that bad though? No, I think that's who you are.

It's not bad. It's who you are. It's a fact, not a yes or no question. Wrong or right. I think everybody's different. It's finding the balance and then finding somebody that's going to respect those boundaries. So if you want to play Xbox for a few hours and they want to leave the house and take a walk, like that's like a good balance. Yeah.

Like needing your alone time I think is normal. Yeah yeah i think we're both just mentally ill okay well i didn't think we'd have to get to that i'm sorry yeah i didn't think we'd have to be so blatant about it yeah but it is this is the truth man i'm sorry do you Yeah. I mean, we both have like significant emotional issues, you know, but I've been pretty accepting of it lately. Of yourself? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just don't want to be that guy who like, uh, has to like wear tight shirts and like try to get laid. You know what I mean? I'd rather just be open with myself and be like dude maybe maybe the next four years dude you're going to be jerking off and playing xbox maybe that's what it takes to find true love in this world you know no yeah i think it's crazy i think it's better to just not care i feel like i could i would talk to you in six months and you would

like build you'd be like living in a tree house And I wouldn't be surprised Dude a tree house? Like a nice one? From like That would be sick You're gonna be not fucking for long enough That you're gonna be like oh let me get a tree house

And get cable in there Yeah I'd probably get pussy from a treehouse, dude. Just having a treehouse, you'd probably get so much pussy, dude. They'd have a bush. Any girl that wants to sleep with a guy that has a treehouse has a large bush. Everything you're saying right now is appealing to me. It's fine. You're making it seem like it's a bad thing.

No, it's going to be a bush and a treehouse. Yeah. A lot of bush, a bushfire and a treehouse. If it takes four years, that's what it takes, man. You know? To get a woman with a big bush? In a treehouse, yeah. Yeah. A lot of bush, a bushfire in a treehouse. If it takes four years, that's what it takes, man. You know? To get a woman with a big bush? In a treehouse, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, those go hand in hand. Yeah, but to get those together? No deodorant. You're fucking sick. Yeah. I mean, it would feel natural, you know? I mean, it would have to feel natural. Yeah.

Hmm. I hate this. What? This scenario. It's disgusting. Yeah. You don't even know when I'm trying to make you uncomfortable, too. It's kind of funny. I hate that.

I hate that this is on the table right now to make me uncomfortable. Everywhere I go, people try to poke me and piss me off. And I don't know what it is that's fun about that I don't know And you're not the only one People love to Do I seem reactive? I think you couldn't live without it

I mean I know you couldn't live without it What people prodding at me? Yeah You'd be a weird person if you were like comfortable It just doesn't even make sense. Oh, you just told me I had emotional issues. Yeah, you do. We all... No, I'm just saying, like,

if you were, like, if you were comfortable all the time, I don't think I would like you. Were you a weird kid or were you normal? It's pretty weird, yeah. Same. Really? Yeah. Well, you grew up on, long island right i swallowed a toy when i was way too old to be swallowing a toy you think that's why you are the way you are now no i think that's that's one chapter yeah you think that's what started at all no it started way before but i was nine did you choke like you

know i ate it swallowed it did you shit it out yeah that must have hurt a lot i don't remember it really yeah oh man so someone just told you or you just don't remember the shitting part the bad part yeah i feel like that would be pretty like. But were you weird? I was a weird kid. You were weird? Do you think, like, what do you think the answer to that question would be? Oh, you're probably so weird. Yeah, dude. I was a weird kid. Especially, like, compared to how I am now.

Like, I'm still super weird. But if you knew how weird I was back then you were less inhibited so you probably were like yeah dude when I was like five I was playing um checkers with my sister like not even knowing how to play just kind of like playing with them and I was in like a diaper and that's it and why were you five in a diaper dude I why that's way too old to be in a diaper dude i've been wearing diapers since like last week okay well that makes sense you're like that's old to be wearing a diaper yeah okay i'm trying to explain all right i have to

point that out keep going but dude so we're playing checkers and i took a shit and yeah i love how you were smart enough to play checkers, but like couldn't handle playing. No, we didn't know how to play. All right, all right, all right. I said that. Okay. Can you let me? Dude, so I'm playing checkers, not knowing how to play.

And I take a shit. And it, dude, it came out of the diaper. And for like 10 years, I told people that I shit through the diaper. Because I thought that's what happened. I thought I penetrated the diaper. And I just told people for like 10 years. I was like, dude, I've taken a shit through a diaper. Like I've penetrated diaper. And then someone was like, there's no a shit through a diaper like i've penetrated diaper and then

someone was like there's no fucking i want to die i want to die dude you know this is one of those moments where i'm like i hope global warming speeds up and the ice caps melt quicker really yeah this story someone telling me that they shit so hard that they penetrated a diaper. Yeah. I mean, where are we going from here? You don't think that's like a first date story? Like, you don't think that's legendary, bro? You asked how weird I was, and I feel like that did it justice, though.

I feel like this happened last week. I don't even think this was when you were five. It was like three days ago. Yeah, absolutely. Whatever, dude. Fuck off, man. Yeah, all right. You can't tell people that.

Can you imagine if I was playing checkers like three days ago with a diaper and did that? I would not be surprised and I know that's upsetting for you to hear. I know. How are you weird? I named my body parts.

Like your tits and stuff? What were your tits names? Mr. and Miss Titty. Wow. And then I named my butthole. What? Mr. Yodel. Wow.

Why? I don't know how. Mr. Yodel? What the fuck, dude? I don't know, man. You Yodel. What the fuck, dude? I don't know, man. You think it was because of your farts? Maybe I have emotional issues. Maybe you're right.

Yeah. Does your fart sound like yodels or something? I don't know. Wow. Maybe. It's crazy to name something and not even know why. I want to forget more. Do you wake up? I go to bed, I go, I wish I could forget more. Do you wake up?

I go to bed, I go, I wish I could forget more. No, because then I would just, like, stare directly into the sun. I think you already do that. Like, I have to remember my steps and stuff. Your steps of what? Like, my steps, you know, from my past failures. That's why we have, you know, that's why we have memories, dude, so you can remember, you know, not to, like, take a shit in the yard,

which I forget to do sometimes, but I'm sorry I keep bringing up shit, dude. It's my bad. Yeah. You love gay, gayness, shitting, and porn. gay gayness shitting and porn yep gay tits shit farts jerking off that's about it yeah okay anything else nothing i can think of right now okay don't hurt yourself thinking of all of these things that matter to you. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Maybe it's better to forget. Yeah, I think, yeah, I would like to forget right now. Yeah. What are your, um, why am I asking questions? I don't know. That would have been cool, though. Okay. Should I ask a question?

Let me think of a question. Wait, so your tits were lefty and righty and then... Oh, no, it was Mr. and Mrs. Yeah. I thought it was lefty and righty. No, not lefty and righty. That would have been cool. I thought about naming my dick and balls once.

What would you name them? I was going to name them lefty and righty like my nuts and then my dick i don't even know maybe like um azigius sounds biblical yeah that would be sick though yeah i mean there's still time before you die to name yeah your dick and disappoint everyone i mean i can just start now you know maybe just name them tonight i don't know if there's like a ritual or something or like legal docs i have to sign just google it you can do that yeah maybe that'll get me pussy dude yeah that's the problem yo you trying to fucking that's the problem yeah that's not why we're here at all

it at all i'm just saying like if you want me to succeed, like, maybe I should be like, yo, what's up? You want to suck on lefty and righty? Take a ride on a Ziggy-us? Oh, I don't feel good. Dude, say that at like a Home Depot. Take a ride on a Ziggy-us? On a Ziggy-us. Because that's my cock. No, I understand that.

Yeah. At Home Depot. You'd get a man if you did that at Home Depot. For sure, yeah. Which is what you want. What aisle do a man if you did that at Home Depot. For sure, yeah. Which is what you want. What aisle do you think I should do that in? The lighting aisle. Wow.

Because it's gay. That's the best aisle, yeah. The lighting aisle. Yeah. Absolutely. Or the wood aisle. The aisle where they sell wood and lumber. Yeah.

What do you think would happen if I said that with a straight face, with like my demeanor? Do you think they'd call the cops? No. Or do you think I could actually get some dick? I think a guy with an orange apron. Would take me to the back room. Yeah. I think I'd be better off going to like those workshops they have on the weekends and then like raise my hand in one of those classes.

There's got to classes the saddest people in those workshops yeah just like divorced mothers at home depot yeah they're trying to figure out how to like fucking do like uh pvc piping and shit oh because everybody left yeah i mean they just have to figure it out for themselves yeah you know so you you would go there yeah and you'd say would you like to go ride on no i would i would raise my hand during the workshop be like yo you want to suck on lefty and righty and take a ride on a zygius and then i don't know what happened after that i can't support this i want to yeah but i can't i want more for you yeah i mean we were just riding a wave you know what i mean yeah i hated the wave yeah i've been wanting to get off the wave for a

half hour now yeah maybe you should stay on the wave dude see what happens but i never talk to you and feel better I don't know what that means Yeah you know what's crazy dude I knew it was gonna happen You know Like I knew you weren't gonna feel better talking to me That's not true You didn't think that far ahead

You think I picked you up and I was like Oh Amy's gonna feel so much better After she hears this Alright let's take some phone calls Oh, Amy's going to feel so much better after she hears this. All right, let's take some phone calls. Okay, let's do it. You, um, so my question is, are you guys, or which Harry Potter movie is your favorite one? All right. Wow, dude, that's the most normal question we've ever gotten.

He was so breathy. Yeah, it took him a while. Yeah, that was... It sounded like he was jerking off. Yeah. You know? That was the most normal question I've ever gotten. I know.

That was really wild. Yeah, last time when we were on uh fucking tony called in remember that guy yeah that was great i liked him yeah i related more okay what's your favorite harry potter movie well can you go first because you kind of look like you were in harry potter do i yeah you look like you escaped thank you fucking hogwarts dude okay let me know you're done you feel like i feel like you could go back anytime. Yeah. What team would you be on in Harry Potter?

What house? Probably like Hufflepuff, I think. That's like the forgettable one. That's why I would be there. Who do you think I'd be on? Probably fucking... Definitely not Hufflepuff. Fucking. Definitely not Hufflepuff.

What is the evil one with Snape? Slytherin. Yeah, you'd be in Slytherin. Yeah. But you would be like undercover. You know. I feel like. You would just be a fucking broom, dude. A broom? Yeah broom yeah this keeps getting worse like people would just ride you all right i'm done i'm sorry i don't even know i was going with that

that was a failed riff i just imagined someone like uh you know they have like the brooms and shit when they play that game. Quidditch. Quidditch. I just imagine someone like riding you. Not in a sexual way, just like, you know. Eyes the broom. Yeah.

Something just made me think of that. I don't know why. I'm sorry. What? Probably, I don't know. I didn't finish them. When did you stop? after the first one really yeah oh man i stopped after um the goblet of fire because i was i was just hard the whole time

i was with my friend's family too yeah i was sitting next to his sister how long how long is the movie it's long it's like four hours goblet of fire is a long one but dude hermione in that is oh my god smoking yeah any dude at that age you know who sees that immediately you're gonna fall in love with hermione you know hermione actually went to school in rhode island she went to brown and she left because the kids were making fun of her every time she raised uh her hand everyone would be like, three points for Gryffindor. Like, no joke. That's, like, legit.

She dropped out of Brown University. That was the reason? Yeah. Everyone was making fun of her. I mean, dude, imagine Hermione being in your class. I would love that. Yeah, it'd be sick. It'd be so cool.

She was so hot, though, dude. Mm-hmm. You know? Nothing would love that. Yeah, it'd be sick. It'd be so cool. She was so hot, though, dude. Mm-hmm. You know? Nothing hotter than magic. Yeah, absolutely. That's how everybody feels. You think you could get into that? Magic?

Maybe that's what you watch. Like Harry Potter porn and shit. I'm just kidding. Yeah, but, dude, that family that I saw the Goblet of Fire with, their family would make, like, custom wands. I got my own custom wand with my name on it. What was it, like a dildo? Yeah, I would just start casting spells on dudes.

I would just start casting spells on dicks. Yeah, I was just going to say that. That makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't think that would be sick, though, at that age to have your own wooden custom-made wand no with your name on it i love i love burned i love i love a the expectations are like so low if you would like like a wooden wand with your name engraved in it

yeah that that would be you think your life would have been different i did you did have that okay that's why everything's bad now no dude that was the best moment of my life it was they put so much time into it they put it in a wood burner they put some sort of like maple syrup on it or some shit, dude. I don't know the right way to react to this. I'm really trying to like come up with the right thing to say and I don't know what it is. You never had something like that in your life? Someone making me a wand?

No, not just a wand, but like a souvenir of some sorts that meant a lot to you besides your dildo and your strap-on? I don't think so. Really? When you were a weird kid, no one ever gave you something that you kept and you were like, this is it. No. Wow. Maybe that's the fucking problem so i'll add it to my list so you were just naming body

parts i had a pet frog what was his name fat bastard did it die yeah i cried way too hard when it died well how old are you 16 wow it was like three days ago probably and then i told my dad that it was my best friend and he's like that's get help wow it's pretty sad what did you do with the frog like i buried in the backyard no not when it died like when you were just hanging out with it like it was a water frog so i never touched it it was in a like its own fish tank did you take care of it or no yeah i would talk to it what did Wow. What were the conversations like? How's it going?

Did you ever tell... Is it mama, bitch? Mom's a real bitch. What's up? Wow. Yeah. So you would like vent to it? Yeah.

It's kind of cool. I think that's why I died. I think the frog killed itself. Yeah. Yeah. That makes too much sense. Yeah I think the frog killed itself. Yeah. Yeah. That makes too much sense. Yeah, it makes so much sense. Yeah.

You were just like, I'm jerking off to Harry Potter porn, and it was like, I'm done. I don't know why it's going there. And I didn't like that one. And I didn't want that one to be... You can't have an animal in the same sentence, and you're talking about Harry Potter porn. I feel like we're so close. I feel like we're not close. We're so close. You want to push this very hard. I feel like we're so close. I feel like we're not close. We're so close.

You want to push this very hard. I came pretty close there. No, you didn't. Wow. That's cool, man. I wish I had like a pet to like vent to. I never like vent to Bub or anything. Maybe I should try.

You should try. He's more of like, I can just kind of like put my head up against his stomach though. And everything's okay. That's really sweet. Yeah. You're really into like breastfeeding and stuff too. Even though you can't breastfeed. Yeah,

I do. What is it? What do you think that comes from? I don't know. I just want to feed somebody. But it's only old men. Like you only want to breastfeed old men. Sometimes when I see someone that's sad,

I want to breastfeed them. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to supply them no whenever sometimes when i see someone that's sad i want to breastfeed them yeah yeah do you want to supply them with milk or you just want them to suck on your tits i don't know but i in that moment i'm like i want to take my tit out and help wow yeah i hate to say this man but i can actually relate to you in that sense yeah like having your tits sucked that must that might be better than sex, dude. You think so? Yeah. I feel like if I was a woman, I would just ask men to suck on my tits and then just leave like at least once a week. You know what I mean?

You ever think about that? Like, you're just like, I don't want to go any further than this. Like, I don't want to kiss you. I just want to milk you. And then. I don't think it's sexual when i want to breastfeed them it's like nurturing yeah i mean getting your titty sucked is fun to an extent but if there's no milk then you're not really well that's a separate thing yeah so they would just be sucking on your onips. Yeah. Would there just be milk, like imaginary milk coming out on your head? In my mind, this is so sick. Like now that we're dissecting it, I go, maybe it's like not normal.

Yeah, it was never normal. Okay, okay. But I'm just trying to like understand where you're coming from. So like if they're in your head, you're like, oh, I'm milking. I'm providing for this human being. Yeah. Like if I see an old person and they're lost, oh, I'm milking. I'm providing for this human being. Yeah. Like if I see an old person and they're lost, I'm like, I should breastfeed them. Yeah.

This will help. Probably would. It would. For sure. You know? I mean, they would get stronger. They would get stronger. They would need the nutrients.

Yeah. Yeah. And they would just be like, you just sucked on a woman's tits. Yeah, exactly. You'd be a hero. Yeah. A hundred percent. You know you know it all makes sense i get a key to the city it's only weird if you make it weird yeah absolutely it would be consensual too it would be really great you might need like some legal documents you know because you can't just be like hey you want to get you want to fucking get milked to like an old man, he would pass away.

You think so? Yeah, dude. If you asked with a straight face an old man if he wanted to suck on your titties, dude, he would legitimately have a heart attack. That would be so confusing for him. Would it? Yeah. Stranger things have happened.

I mean, you got to think where he's coming from fair like what he's been through after all these years and then that happens he's probably been waiting for that moment his whole life too there you go and then it finally comes and you just you don't even know anymore yeah like what do i do right now but i think about it yeah and then when i see something really cute, I want to, like, murder it. Like an animal or just, like, a human being? Like hamsters. Okay.

Where do you see hamsters? On reels. Okay. Let's see where this is going. You're just going to, like, the local pet shop? No, I don't go to the pet shop. I could see you going there just like reminiscing about like your old frog. I do miss my frog. And you just take it out on the hamsters.

Where are you going with this? I don't know. I'm just trying to think. I know you are. You're trying to think out loud. Yeah. I mean, that's concerning, though, dude, that you want to murder hamsters. No, something's really cute.

I want to like kick it in the face sometimes. Yeah, but you wouldn't even be like presented with that situation, dude. Like. No. So these are all like things that would never happen. Yeah. They're intrusive thoughts. And then you said you want to like choke out other women.

I never said that. You said that like two days ago. Don't. I never said that. Yeah. I wonder where that comes from. Are these women that you see? No. Stop blowing my spot up. I don't that comes from. Are these women that you see? No, stop blowing my spot up.

I don't already. Yeah, because everything you said is, you know. Normal. All right, we'll take another phone call then. Okay. If you don't want to get into this. Let's do it. Is that him snoring?

Yeah. It's really cute. Hey, Johnny. Long time no talk. It's Tony. Just wanted to reach out with a call here. You know, just same old old shit just fucking around saying gay shit to my friends some of them are over it some of them barely talk to me but i mean we're still friends you know how it goes they just say way too much gay shit anyways i was thinking about

getting a paintball gun uh people drive like shit down here in South Texas. I just want to shoot people's fucking cars and then their windows. I don't know. That's probably a bad idea, but fuck. That's Tony. That was Tony, dude. No, I know that was Tony. I know that voice.

Yeah. He's doing well. He's doing what he know that voice. Yeah. He's doing well. He's doing, he's killing it. Yeah. Well, I was thinking about shooting, uh, shooting guns with a paintball or shooting cars with a paintball gun. Maybe we're not doing that bad. I don't think we're doing that bad.

I think we're doing good. I think we're doing really well. I think we're crushing it. I think we're doing better than anyone we know. We really are. Yeah. This is really wild. Yeah.

I actually admire myself. Yeah. Right now. I'm doing really well. I'm in awe of better than anyone we know. We really are. Yeah, this is really wild. Yeah. I actually admire myself. Yeah. Right now. I'm doing really well. I'm in awe of you as well. Yeah. You're doing amazing. Same, dude.

We should be. Yeah. We should get a medal. No, like this podcast is going to fucking. This is it. We're doing very well. Yeah. We've grown so much.

A lot of people are going to watch this and they're going to be like, dude, this is fucking great. We're like Jordan Peterson. Yeah. He's grown so much. A lot of people are going to watch this and they're going to be like, dude, this is fucking great. We're like Jordan Peterson. Yeah. He's always crying. I think he cried one time. No, he cries all the time.

He always looks like he's about to cry. I hate it. Yeah. Maybe you're just an emotional guy. What's wrong with that? I cried a few days ago and I feel a lot better now. Do you? I know you hate that, but you probably cry a shit ton. That's what's fucked up, dude.

You probably cry all the fucking time. Do I seem like somebody have a cry a lot yeah i bet you cry at least once a week dude yeah that's what i thought dude that's pretty accurate yeah feels good though doesn't it it does feel good to cry. I cried at the Sopranos when Adriana died. How'd she die? She got shot in the woods. Wow. And she was, like, pivotal to the series? Yeah, she was Christopher's, like, long-term girlfriend. Wow.

But she was, like, ratting out to the feds. And they found out And they whacked her Have you ever seen Braveheart? No Oh It's with No with Mel Gibson

Yeah It's like six hours long I cried during that Yeah His wife died Yeah I would rather cry than watch Braveheart I think that's why You're a piece of shit dude Oh yeah well that's a problem here See like that's something I would rather cry than watch Braveheart. I think that's why you're a piece of shit, dude.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's a problem here. See, like, that's something I would do with just, like, a friend. Just watch Braveheart, and I bet you would cry, dude. His wife dies. They slit her throat. Well, you ruined it. Now I wouldn't cry because I would be waiting for it.

I think you'd still cry. No, I can't know what's going to happen in things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It did feel good to cry, though, though dude it felt like i kind of felt something how long was the cry as long as like 15 minutes or is it silent it's pretty silent yeah you know what makes you cry is pictures dude pictures really get me have you ever looked at a picture you had a difficult time the last really get me have you ever looked at a picture you had a difficult time the last the whole gay thing and stuff yeah you know what i'm talking about yeah yeah so those things line up and that makes sense to me now why yeah yeah and that that picture makes sense that makes sense yeah yeah

yeah you know yeah i know i know here it comes i know i know i'm not saying anything but i know so that that that that is very real and that makes sense to me, that you would cry. You ever look at, like, a picture book, though, and cry? Of me? Or just a picture book, like a picture book? Just, like, a family picture book or something. Maybe you, like, maybe you coming out of the closet, like, something like that, and you just kind of break down.

No, that hasn't happened yet. Soon. Yeah. I don't think pictures maybe have made me cry yeah it just felt good to like feel something again you know yeah of course i feel like people are so numb around here you know yeah well i think emotions are healthy as long as you don't act on them yeah but even just even after I cried like I started having

like immature thoughts again that kind of made me happy and stuff you know like tits no I mean tits are always there I thought about going to McDonald's through the drive through and asking for a fur burger I always think we're getting somewhere through the drive-thru and asking for a fur burger.

I always think we're getting somewhere. Yeah. And we're not. You don't think that would be funny? No, it's so funny. Yeah. It's so good. I'm thinking about making a sketch while I do that.

You should come. You should film it. I don't film things. I would film it for you. We can just get McDonald's, though. I'll buy you, like, a McGangbang or something. Okay. You can just film me saying that. Okay.

It'd be fucking sick, dude. Okay, let's do it. Just casually filming that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. No, we'll wrap it up, dude. I'm sorry.

Thank you guys for listening, as always. Please follow Amy on Instagram. Do you have anything coming up? No. Do you want to promote? thank you guys for listening as always please follow Amy on Instagram do you have anything coming up? do you want to promote? no just my Instagram you have shows all the time and then your podcast is pod with me

yeah so follow that maybe I'll show up one day you're not going to stop pretending you're going to I'm showing up now you're the worst