The Johnny Salami Podcast - Ginga Puss
Episode Date: June 9, 2020On this episode of the podcast, I sit down with Ginga Puss (not sure what his birth-name name is) to talk about what its like being thick boys, childhood shenanigans, and The Special Olympics. As alwa...ys, you're gonna lose a lot of brain cells listening to this one. Enjoy.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's going on everyone? Welcome to another episode of the Johnny Salami podcast.
Today's guest, Ginger Puss.
What up, what up?
Thanks for coming.
I don't know your actual name, so.
You never did. That was the honest truth. You really never did.
Well, I remember one time someone was like, where's John Luke? And I was like, yeah.
Yeah, it's a peculiar name. Dude, Ginger Puss is like a pretty solid nickname. No, it is Yeah It's a peculiar name
Dude Gingerpuss is like
A pretty solid nickname
No it is
It's a good one
You think it's gonna be
Handed down for generations
Or like
If I got redheads
Sure thing
I met a Luke John though
Yesterday
Really
Yeah
You guys fucked
I can't joke about this
I was
I was cutting grass
And this guy just comes up to me
He's right out of the woodwork
He's like
Shh
I was like what He goes hey Don't tell anybody me. He's right out of the woodwork. He's like, shh. I was like, what?
He goes, hey.
He's like, don't tell anybody.
He just like hands me a beer while I'm working.
And I'm just like, I can't do this right now.
Wait, so you were cutting grass though?
I was cutting grass, yeah.
Why are you cutting grass though?
Is that like a part-time job?
Yeah, I work at Durkin.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I work at Durkin Realty down there.
Do some rentals here and there, you know?
Oh, so like cutting grass is only like part of the job?
I used to work in the office, but then summer came around and, you know,
needed a couple more hands around the campus.
And, yeah, you know, basically.
Yeah, I used to cut grass.
I miss cutting grass, man.
It's the best.
It's the best job.
Yeah, just throwing on Some classic rock dudes
Joanne Jett
I love rock and roll
Nothing better dude
Yeah a couple
Toss on a couple podcasts
You know
Yeah
You need the headphones
You don't have the headphones
Dude I used to listen to
John Mellencamp
Small Town
At the high school
And just fucking shred it dude
Fucking zero to 60 in three seconds dude
that was for the state right huh or the town that was like town grass yeah they wouldn't let me work
for the state back then i would have failed the drug test But uh Is that what you get to do? Yeah they had us work for the town dude Dude we backed into the school
Like we were fucking bad dude
But uh yeah
Backed into the school
I
Yeah see I don't
I don't really um
I'm pretty careful on it
Uh the other day though
I did hit
Like a cat
Like I
Like they had the nice lawnmowers
You probably hit the same ones
The grave leaves
You do like 360 turns
Like you can do it Whatever you want
Dude those things are like
Nine a can
Yeah
Yeah
Oh man they're expensive
And I just smooched
Like a gas thing
On the side of a house
And I didn't even know
I did that
What
Like so
Like an actual like oil pipe
Like the natural gas
Like pumps
I don't know how that stuff works
Yeah like where you
Legitimately get oil
Yeah like
Yeah so I
I hit one of those
And like a couple days later
I just come to work
Like yo did you
Hit like a gas pipe the other day
And I was like
Maybe
It was like my second day
Of cutting grass
So I was not that good yet
Believe it or not
Like
I should
Well it doesn't take much skill
I wasn't that good
So
Yeah I smooched it
And they're like
Yeah that could have cost us
Like 10 grand
And I was like
Shit
Could have been worse though, dude.
You know, like if you walked up to it with like a lighter and just lit it.
Yeah, literally.
I mean, it's down at college campus, you know, so.
Nothing better than cutting grass though, dude.
Dude, I've always wanted to be on like a Scott's Turf Girl commercial.
You know what I'm saying?
Scott's Turf World?
That'd be fucking.
With Scott's Turf Girl?
You know what Scott's Turf Girl is? No. Turf Grow? Yeah. No. You've never I'm saying? Scott's Turf World. That'd be fucking... With Scott's Turf Grow. You know what Scott's Turf Grow is?
No.
Turf Grow?
Yeah.
No.
You've never seen those commercials?
Are they like the Fenway guys?
They put the turf on Fenway?
Dude, they might actually.
Well, there's...
Fenway might...
Yeah, they might be sponsored.
No, it's some guy down in southern Rhode Island.
I don't know.
Scott's Turf Grow is like the actual grass feeder, dude.
Grass feeder? It's like luscious grass.
Yeah?
Yeah, dude.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like it's the seeds.
Like you buy them at Home Depot and stuff.
It's like the Madonna of grass.
So they have like commercials, dude.
It's like a golden retriever like running around in the yard.
Yeah.
And some guy's like spanking behind a shed.
And then they're like Scott's Turf Grow.
If you're not marketing it that way, then I don't know how you're going to sell it.
I mean, come on.
So you're up and you're just cutting grass up there.
You said you were training for a marathon, though?
Training for a half marathon.
I was like, what do you want to talk about tomorrow?
You're like, I mean, I'm training for a marathon.
A couple of talking points, a couple of things.
Yeah, I'm training for a half marathon.
There's no half marathon.
It's not a full marathon, it's just a half? Well, I mean, baby steps, you know? How long for a half marathon um there's no half marathon it's not a full marathon it's
a half well i mean baby steps you know how long is a half 13.1 miles where is it where's it gonna
be i i mean i don't even know that far dude literally at the beginning of quarantine andre
goes hey we're gonna get really fat and we need something to motivate ourselves. I'm training for a half marathon. He did it last summer.
He was like, let's do it.
And I was like, okay.
I'm in.
Ran, like, first time out, ran, like, two miles.
Thought I was going to, like, shit my pants.
Like, I hated myself.
And the shoes I was wearing was terrible.
I, like, had back problems for the next, like, two days.
But, you know, mom comes through in the clutch, gets me Brooks shoes. good stuff i don't know if you're running brooks yeah it's like cloud technology
on right now dude this gets dude this gets the bitches wet right here dude yes sir it does there
it is bro a6 that's a fucked machine i gotta be honest i think i think brooks tops them really
yeah i think a6 i think the a6 are like the shoe of the past i think brooks is the future
how much how much are they charging for those i got a good price on them but they're like Brooks tops them. Really? Yeah, I think the Asics are like the shoe of the past. I think Brooks is the future.
How much are they charging for those?
I got a good price on them, but they're like $120.
Brooks?
That sounds like a bookstore.
Well, yeah.
It rhymes with it, so Brooks Books.
So you got those?
Do they help a lot, though, with your back and stuff?
Oh, yeah, dude.
It makes like a... I went like a couple extra miles when I got him it's
like a flat sole or is it more like jelly I don't really know how to
describe it it's um I got big arcs my feet I don't know if I could get up on
camera but I got big arcs in my feet So um
I need like good shoes
Yeah
Like it's kinda like gross
Like my
Like monkey
Uh
So
Yeah it's the only thing
That works for me
I'm up to 8 miles so far
So
Yeah
Dude my toe is legit
Like my foot's like
This part of my foot's straight
And then my toes just go out
At like a 90 degree angle
It's crazy dude They like come up you're saying yeah my toes are literally pointing like east you must
blow through shoes there's just holes in the top of them yeah sometimes it hurts but like i think
it was back back in the day i had these like adidas shoes yeah they were like the coolest
shoes ever they were red and white dude and i like would not stop wearing them even when my feet like
got through them like adidas class i was like a size 10 wearing like a size eight and a half. Oh, just got all crunched up, dude
I'd be like bleeding that like after a basketball game or something, but they were just so cool, dude
I was like, I can't give her these cheese. When were you a size 10? What age was that? I
Think like four and a half
Now I'm like 11 and a half I'm still working on getting to 10 and a half, dude.
I'm not even there yet.
Yeah, remember back in the day, dude, when people used to like judge you on your cock
size because of your shoes?
Yeah, yeah.
Such a myth, dude.
Yeah.
There's some parallels from here and there.
Really?
Yeah.
You could do a study on that.
Yeah, I could.
Yeah.
Show up to like a Walmart or something.
A Walmart?
Go in like the fishing section.
You should be like, whip it out.
Someone comes by, oof.
How much is that bait?
So 13.1 miles.
That's the goal.
You hitting the diet hard?
I feel like that's going to be like 90% of it, isn't it?
That's what everyone says.
I'm honestly, I got to be honest, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be.
How long can you run right now?
I went eight miles.
That's like an hour.
And I run at like an 830 pace.
Like that's slow.
I mean, it's decent for someone that's just running, but like any track, like guy.
That's for eight miles?
Yeah.
Eight miles, I was more so close to like nine.
But I'd say like six mile pace, seven mile, seven-mile pace is, like, 830.
I just zoomed two miles.
So, like, the thing's weird.
Like, it's like I do – he sent me the link to this thing.
It's – you do, like, the first run's, like, two miles usually of the week.
Then you do, like, a middle-tier, like, run.
So, like, this week – today I should be running seven miles.
And then I'm going to try 10, like, a couple days now from there you know what i mean so um yeah that's that's another thing
that's weird like i just did eight last week and usually you go up like one mile a week kind of
like the max long run but i'm going up to 10 this week so that's pretty that's impressive
i could do it honestly the website i only do like high intensity stuff so i'll only do like sprints and stuff and people are always like yo dude you
running miles after miles yeah like dude if i ran two miles i'd fucking it's so different it's
different i would literally start lactating dude dude i honestly don't think i could run two miles
i'd have to stop after i bet you could do two miles if my life depended on it you know dude
if i had like some Shania Twain going,
like, amped on pre-workout,
dude, I could fuck that shit up.
Okay, yeah.
I bet Shania Twain was threatening your life.
Oh, absolutely.
If they were like,
Shania Twain will give you a hand job
and a track and trailer,
I'd be like,
dude, I'll run two miles in 40 seconds, bro.
My girl Shania, dude,
she's still killing it. Yeah, her i see your posts you always got
her never back down dude no but yeah man that's pretty cool dude it's i mean i feel like a beast
after i do it yeah yeah i mean what i've noticed like i do high intensity stuff obviously it builds
more muscle yeah whereas like you're trying to say well i mean dude you ever see those long
distance runners who'd like actually run marathons yeah oh i mean you're pretty much eating your body dude
yeah those guys are like pencils no i know i well dude i mean i've never had the issue where i was
too small so i figured have you been losing a lot of weight just like uh yeah i'm still probably i
lost a lot of weight um going into like my sophomore year so I'm not there yet, but I'm pretty light. You used to be thick, dude.
I mean, we both used to be thick boys.
Yeah, we were thick boys.
I was really...
I still look like a thumb,
but I was the fat thumb.
You had some titties, dude.
Yes, I did.
So did I, but like...
I got some titties right now, dude.
No, you don't.
It's all...
Dude, honestly, a lot of it's just the shirts you're wearing and stuff.
Yeah.
You can hide a lot of it dude
Black
Yeah
Wear black
Dude what size shirt
You think this is
That's a large
It's a double XL
Really
Fits good
Dude you know what I
I was golfing with Nate yesterday
And I was like
What size shirt
You think this is
He was like large
Maybe an XL
Dude I was wearing
A double XL
Big and tall
Big and tall
Yeah dude
I wear big and tall Izod How tall Yeah, dude I wore big and tall Izod
How tall are you?
Shout out Izod
Shout out Izod
Dude, nobody wears Izod, but
Yeah, dude, I wore big and tall
Izod's nice
I used to wear Izod
Because I used to work at Calvin Klein
It's all the same parent company
I get the discounts there
Yeah
Izod's obviously a lot cheaper, though
Is it?
Yeah
It's golf, too
They have a lot of golf line
Yeah I just
I like the material
But I also like the idea
Of wearing like baggy clothing
Because I want to wear
Like wicked baggy clothing
And then one day
Just take off my shirt
And everyone
You know has like an aneurysm
Like that's never going to happen
But that's like a dream of mine
Imagine being that guy though dude
You always wear baggy shirts
And then you just take off your shirt
And you rip your sane
Or you're fat?
Yeah, people are just like, whoa, dude.
I didn't know you fucking worked out.
Yeah, that's the goal, man.
That's what we do it for.
You just fucking, you yell, stay humble, hop in the ocean, dude, kill a fucking shark.
I have a question for you.
I need to know the answer to this.
Why do you work out and squat in jeans?
I don't get it. Is that what those are i'm going like
really heavy what do you mean like that's the reason to not wear jeans i think i'd think dude
have you ever worn flex fit jeans what is it kind of like uh is it kind of like a knee brace type
of thing like it bounces you back up that's the only thing i could just like do they're really
like i don't even know man like i know a bunch of like like you really show up in the gym with flex fit jeans and a fucking
collared hawaiian shirt and you just get after and you just throw up five plates like it's
on each side like it's nobody's business i think it's just like uh it's just a mechanism dude you
know what i mean because it's like it's something i'd wear in public but i'm just going to the gym
you know what i mean i'm saving clothes and I know people are going to be like,
this kid probably can't lift two pounds, and then I just get after it, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you tear it up.
I like that.
I always wear my IZOD polos to the gym, but as far as like flex for jeans go.
And a winter hat.
And the winter hat, yeah.
You got the whole outfit.
What were you saying?
Flex for jeans?
I get after it, dude.
Flex for jeans I only wear sometimes to the gym.
Depends how laundry is doing.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Dude, if you're wearing flex fit jeans to the gym, dude, you better be hitting like a PR, doing something intense.
I got flex fit jeans.
I might wear it to the gym sometime.
I don't think.
I think I look.
I see.
Well, you know, I was going to say I think I look foolish, but, you know.
The only thing you have to worry about, not the jeans ripping, but I actually ripped a belt.
I ripped my belt.
My belt actually snapped in half.
You wear a belt with those things?
Like a weight belt or a normal belt?
A normal belt to keep my pants up.
Yeah.
And I went down for a squat once and just completely snapped the belt.
Wow.
Belts don't really do good with me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Belts really cut at the love handles for me. Whenever I wear belts, it's always like wicked loose. Wow. Belts don't really do good with me. Yeah. Yeah, belts really cut at
the love handles for me.
Whenever I wear belts,
it's always like wicked loose.
Yeah.
Like it's like barely
keeping my pants up.
Yeah,
there's no point
in having a belt pretty much.
Because if you actually
use it the right way,
it's like you just got
belly fat hanging out.
For us,
yeah,
dude,
you get the muffin top.
But if I don't wear a belt,
then my pants are gonna
fall down and that's
kind of like.
I got a flat butt,
so flat Stanley.
Yeah,
same here,
man. I've been working on that though. I mean, squat a lot you know you'll get there a lot of it's like genetics you know what i mean like yeah it'd be nice to have
like a thick fucking ass yeah dude yeah you know who's um yeah what's it called
i'm not going there uh but yeah like, just thick legs in general.
Just like tree trunks.
Yeah.
Just like thick down low.
I mean, yeah, dude.
I mean, my legs have kind of shrunk down,
but I feel like they've kind of gotten stronger
in terms of like, you know, being able to jump higher.
Like I can definitely jump higher,
but I think it's, I think I've dropped a little bit of weight
over the quarantine.
Yeah.
Like before, dude, my legs were so big,
they were just like.
Well, you do like just the craziest workouts. I've never seen anyone like you you just kind of just because not
like as in like you just go and like you make use of like whatever the heck you got you know
it's kind of crazy that's what you got to do dude yeah well i got kind of tired of people like
making excuses when the quarantine started they're like oh i can't work out it's like you can do a
bunch of oh yeah well that's why i was like i'm gonna run i mean i couldn't think of anything
else that i could really do i've been i do uh me and my brother
we just do like a deck of cards too you would do that no it's like the black black cards or uh
push-ups red cards or sit-ups like you flip it over whatever that number is you just do that
many yeah so i got i'm up to like deck and a half two decks decks sometimes. And then the face cards, you make like 10, you know, jacks 11, queens 12, king 13,
and then ace 25.
Damn, dude.
It's insane.
Get like a bunch of like,
about like 250 push-ups and sit-ups in.
I've always had,
yeah, I like doing push-ups with the band.
I've always had a set of bands.
I use that for like mobility stuff.
So I could use that for like actual strength stuff.
Get the hips going, yo. Huh? Get the hips going. Yeah, that's how we loosen up my hips, dude. That helps a lot, dude. mobility stuff so i i could use that for like actual strength stuff but like it's going you
huh get the hips going yeah that's how we loosen up my hips dude that helps a lot dude yeah those
rogue bands dude if you put them right between your gooch dude i'm not even kidding like that'll
dude that'll fucking you'll cause a renaissance
but uh yeah i've been doing that the the thing that I got that actually helped a lot, dude, I got gymnast rings, dude.
Those things, like gymnastics rings.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've seen those.
I've seen you.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'll hang them up from like the goal post or like a soccer post.
Yeah.
And do like pull-ups with that.
Skin the cat?
You ever skin the cat?
Yeah, I wouldn't try that by myself.
I skin the cat.
Really?
Yeah, at forecourt.
You can do that?
Yeah.
I'm kind of scared it's actually
not that hard really i mean you got you should do it like low to the ground because if you're
hanging up on a goal post yeah you just because i'm in the middle yeah because i'd be like in the
middle of a state park by myself so if i like tear my labrum like or yeah like if i swing back too
fast and like yeah like i could fall on my neck or something.
You got a strong core, right?
No.
No?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's not like a flexibility thing.
I never like felt it in my – every time we're at four core, you know, like me and all my friends are there.
Every time we're like, all right, here we go.
Skin the cat.
Really?
Everyone get a cat.
Does it like stretch you out?
We just do it to kind of do it honestly
just to skin the cat
just to say
you skin the cat
just cause we can
yeah
it's intimidating
but you just gotta
you just gotta go for it
there's a bunch of
ripped dudes on YouTube
and they have like
specific videos
that are just for like
gymnast rings
and they're all
fucking yoked
so I was like
watching them do stuff
you try doing it
I try doing it
but like when I try
doing it dude
I could just
I could just see you
get tangled up in the cold post at tucker field it's not it's not pretty ginger did you help me
but dude it's so hard like i was like legit shaking like i was trying to do dips on those
things yeah but uh it actually like helps a lot to get you stronger just because like you're
actually like what's the stability thing right you're jerking off the air dude you know how they have the shake weight like that kind of
works now yeah yeah but like your muscles are contracting in a way that they've never contracted
before so you're literally just like fucking you know yeah i felt a sick pump when i did it yeah
dude a lot of those things like the stability like even those bands like i feel like you can't
really get that big with the bands but like you you can get, like I feel a good pump.
You can get some shred zone.
Yeah, you can.
Yeah.
Like Gronk.
It just gets boring after a while.
Yeah, bands.
There's just something about it.
It just doesn't hit right.
I wanted to get a kettlebell, and I ordered one like two weeks ago.
Kettlebell?
Yeah, I finally found one that was in stock.
Dude, it was 88 pounds.
It's so fucking heavy, dude.
It's just sitting downstairs
like i can't even do anything with it do you clean and stuff like that no no i thought you
were like i just do cleans at a crossfit dude and i'd be like i'd be like hey coach like my
wrists are fucking snapping in half i feel like i'm gonna like you know die and like they were
just like yeah just push through it that's how they That's how it is. Don't get me wrong.
You got to respect CrossFit, dude.
But some of those gyms, dude, like.
Oh, yeah.
It's definitely not easy what they do.
Yeah.
I could never get like the front rack position, like your elbows up.
Yeah.
So my elbows would be like this.
And my wrists would just be like ripping back.
Yeah, there's the cross thing you can do like this.
I used to shred some fart bombs, too.
Yeah, I was going to say.
CrossFit gym, dude.
Some of the funniest moments of my life all those bitches be doing paleo though dude yeah so they're not even eating
dairy well meanwhile i'm like down i'm downing yogurt dude beforehand so if you catch me you
just later rip yeah i've already told a story about doing rows and ripping one during a workout
yeah and i honestly never laughed so hard in my life and then there was another time we were like maxing
out for squats dude and i squeaked one out right in front of this kid but yeah it was kind of like
a mutual thing like i squeaked one out and i was like don't tell anyone and he was like i got you
yeah dude that that's that's your wheelhouse right there you loving your farts right in high school
yeah i let a couple go in the class you Oh, I still let them go, dude.
Yeah.
I might let them go at some point on this podcast today.
You know?
Sorry, it's starting to brew, but.
Just let it rip, dude.
We got a candle going.
I can't right now.
And the window open, so.
I'm getting stage fright now.
Yeah, you have to do it when nobody expects it.
Yeah, exactly.
If you're eating healthy, dude, and you're letting farts rip, it's fine.
But if you're unhealthy, it's kind of like. It's no good. Wait, dude. Like a bad one's like, what'd you farts It's fine But like if you're unhealthy
It's no good
Wait
Like a bad one
It's like what'd you eat
It's like
I ate a steak
Like you eat good
You know
Like McDonald's
That doesn't smell like anything
Are you kidding me
Like you smell something bad
Like that person's been
Been housing
Some good stuff
Some asparagus
Just the chemicals man
Yeah
You ever like wake up in the morning
And fart for like 35 seconds
really did i do that sometimes well like if i have a really healthy meal yeah and i just need
to let out the healthy gases dude when i wake up in the morning i'll fart for like 30 consecutive
seconds and then i'll just start dying laughing just right here oh yeah like 30 seconds uh i love that not like one or two seconds like 30 seconds
that's great that's great uh i don't um i don't i don't i don't know if i have too many good ones
the best thing i've ever did was i remember it was like 10th grade French class. I just like look over at Salzy. I was like, yo, watch this.
My teacher's passing out tests.
And I bring my legs up, like holding both of them up like this.
And I just let it go.
And it was so loud.
And my teacher was like, what the?
After she brings me back into class, it was me and Jake.
She's like talking to me
She's like you know
Giving us a whole spiel
She goes
You need a dog
And Jake goes
This dog just died
One week ago
Like literally
My dog literally just died
Yeah
Alright
Which one was that?
Was it uh
That was Raj
He was a collie
Oh shit
What a boy or a collie?
Nah
Have you ever seen Lassie?
Yeah
Yeah it's a Lassie
I think I've seen pictures of it
Yeah yeah yeah
He was a
He was a good dog
Raj means king
Yeah
Yeah
Fun fact
I used to have a special needs kid
Named Raj
At the elementary school dude
He's my fucking boy dude
Wait why?
Do you work with that?
Do you work with special needs kids?
No
Right at elementary schools?
Not that I know of.
You're just showing up to elementary schools.
That's great, John. That's great.
I used to show up to... Oh, God.
I used to show up to the Special Olympics of Woonsocket, dude.
They had some straight-up gangsters over there.
And they would have, like, the softball games and stuff.
Dude, when I was there, they had a blind catcher, dude.
I was like, yo, what are you doing?
She just wanted to accept the challenge
and the pitcher was just humming him in there but yeah i wasn't like i wasn't even playing
the game respect the courage yeah i was i was spectating the game dude and i remember like i
was on the playground with my sister yeah and they had one of those like xo like you know the
whatever it's called like um those fucking things that spin tic-tac-toe things yeah like one of those like xo like you know the whatever it's called like um those fucking things that
spin tic-tac-toe things yeah like one of the huge ones though 3d tic-tac-toe yeah dude they had like
three bees nests in those things and i went up to spin one and like a fucking herd of bees comes out
dude i got stung in the forehead six times.
Oh, God.
And I just started running full speed past the field just screaming shit, dude.
Nobody did anything.
Yeah.
They were just like, ah, there he is.
Got to get him on the team next year.
They do.
I'm not even saying this to be funny, though.
They used to legitimately think I was special.
Really?
When I went there.
Yeah?
I remember playing wiffle ball once, when i went to bat like they were like
they like had to tell the clapping yeah they had to tell the pitcher they were like all right slow
it down and i just ripped a home run dude they were like fuck this good are you talking about
uh are you done like like challenger teams too like the baseball team you ever do that
that's well they have like The Seven Hills organization
In Woonsocket
You know Seven Hills
Yeah
That's what my mom works for
Really
Yeah
Yeah she works for that
Yeah so they have that
And that's what it was
Like connected with
Yeah
So
Okay
Yeah
That's cool
Dude my dad used to work
With those kids back in the day
And he'd bring them over
For like dinner and stuff
And it was hilarious
Yeah
Like I love those kids But but it's still hilarious.
You know what I mean?
They all got good spirits, you know?
I've met a couple of them in there.
They're all good kids, good spirits.
I would never make fun of those kids, obviously,
but when you're in the moment with them
and they do something funny,
you have to embrace it, you know?
I mean, yeah.
If someone's going to launch the javelin the opposite way like i'm gonna i'm gonna make it laugh you
know those were the days though man yeah what are you talking about again uh i don't even know
where that came from oh we're talking about crossfit yeah that's right yeah we're having
crossfit you're working out with my brother tomorrow, aren't you?
Oh, yeah, tomorrow's Monday.
I think we're getting after him in the morning.
I just reminded you that you're doing that.
Well, I mean, I saw him like, I used to see him a bunch, but then he just kind of stopped
going.
I don't know what he was doing.
He got lazy.
Really?
Yeah.
That was the most human I've ever seen that kid.
I shouldn't give him that much credit.
You know, he's not that big.
Yeah, I mean, I know he's not like.
He's a big boy. I'll give it to him. Yeah, he's not trying yeah I mean I know he's not like he's a big boy
I'll give it to him
yeah he's not trying to do like
heavy squats or anything like that
he's trying to do more like
yeah
army workouts
yeah he's trying to
well you know
arm farm you know
he's trying to
really
yeah he just wants to
just wants to look good I guess
stay healthy
that's probably what I'll go back to
he's like
he's crazy
like he'll work out for skiing
like he's like
yeah I got this new
ski routine if you
if you want to do it with me this uh upcoming blah blah and i'm like like a
ski workout and like yeah you told me that i was like i was trying to take it seriously but like
no he trains like for skiing like he's just like a casual skier he's very good at skiing but like
he'll train just to go skiing what do you do like training for? Like specific like jumps or are you just like, no, like,
so have you ever been skiing?
No,
that's good content.
Listen,
you want a good video?
You should get yourself on skis.
That's so much as film it.
Why?
You think it's hard?
Uh,
yeah,
it's hard.
I mean,
I could just see,
just send it into a tree face first.
Uh,
yeah, I mean,
it's hard to just go out there
and do,
you know,
it's not like,
it's not easy,
but,
you think skiing's harder
than snowboarding though?
No,
everyone says this,
it's easier to learn skiing
than it is snowboarding,
but it's easier to like,
get good at snowboarding,
like,
look good,
you know,
and like skiing like,
takes a lot to like,
look good,
and have like,
a good form. Do they have like, different levels though, like beginner? Yeah, you know, you've been on a lot to like look good and have like a good form
do they have like different levels though like beginner yeah you've never been on a ski mountain
it's kind of like guitar you never heard like yeah because like i'm not trying to go right
literally it's color-coded too so someone like you could you can figure it out green go
green you're good easy yeah blue intermediate then black diamond
you know it's
yeah
so you pick up
I can see myself
just having like
eight beers
and jumping right off
the ski lift
yeah
are you locked in
or can you just jump off
the ski lifts
yeah
I've
no I've never jumped off
I've
no yeah
why are you up
I fell off the ski lift
though before
really
yeah a lot of people
actually kind of have
that's like a common thing how high is it up well depends fell off the ski lift, though, before. Really? Yeah, a lot of people actually kind of have. That's like a common thing.
How high is it up?
Well, depends on the point.
It's different.
I mean, there's times where you're probably, like, 50, 60 feet up.
Really?
I don't know.
I'm not really good at this.
Definitely.
I think so.
Like, 50 feet up.
Like, six and a half feet.
But, like, I've, like, fallen off right at the beginning, which, like, people do.
Like, you don't get on it right because, like, when that thing comes through, you know, you
got to get ready.
You know, some of these lifts, like, the guys are trying to hold get on it, right? Cuz like when that thing comes through it, you know, you gotta get ready you know some of these lifts like
like the guys are trying to hold on to it and they're just like they just like rip some with it and they try to
Like grab it so that it goes slowly into it. And yeah, the guy didn't grab it for me
Okay, whatever and I just went I just like went up and I just said like ski tips first
Just right face right into the snow.
Dude, but when you go skiing, is it just a one-time thing?
You usually stay there for a weekend.
So me and my boys at school, we would get an Icon Pass, it's called, and it's just ski
mountains all over the country.
We're not going out.
We planned to go out west for spring break, but we were all broke, so we never did it.
Maybe because we spent 800800 on a ski pass.
That's not that bad, though.
For a season pass?
No.
We get our money's worth.
We'll go up every weekend.
We'll go up a weekday where we don't need to go to class that day.
We'll literally drive four hours there, ski, drive four hours back.
Not a lot of people do that, like day trips like that.
Do some people stay at like, do they have like Airbnbs or like log cabins?
Yeah, yeah.
There's Airbnbs.
People get houses.
That's the goal.
I want to get a house.
People have houses on mountains and you just like ski onto, like you literally put your
skis on at your front door and you ski onto the mountain.
Yeah.
I've always wondered how like people have time to even do it.
You know what I mean?
Because they're always like, yeah, I'm going to be up there up there like half the season i'm like you just like not go to work
yeah yeah i don't know what andre was saying i'm like dude like you just stay up he well so yeah
like him he he's like same degree i mean like there's like different like there's like the
family trips and you go with like your family once or twice a year and you know like it's just a fun
time you and that's when you'd say like probably like a week or something like that but like me andre um remy started skiing a lot more snowboarding a lot more
this year he used to do it back in the day he's kind of slowed down for when he moved to virginia
but he's starting to do it again too but yeah we i mean we were like we'd get up there any chance
we got like uh him especially my friends me and my friends like we would just go when we can because
it's tough with a college schedule and you know you want to you know you still want to have fun
back there um but andre like and his guys like they he would tell me stories like these guys
would be just they would like make this mix like they look up youtube videos on like this mix of
like just a bunch of crap in a cup and they drink it like before work just so they could like go
into work i think or something and just start like shitting their pants or puking like wait i gotta go i'm sick and because
there's a storm that day and they just head up to the mountain really to get out of work they're
like committed they can't just like fake being sick they're like yeah i'm gonna damn dude i gotta
puke on my desk i gotta puke on uh sally over at the wonderful Publitude.
You know, like, they can't just lie.
Yeah, that's a sacrifice, man.
I'll just do that naturally, dude.
Like, dude, I fucking destroyed the bank's bathroom once.
The bank?
On a Saturday, dude.
I took a shit.
Right.
And I flushed. Dude, I flushed, and it wouldn't flush.
So I clogged it.
And then, like, you know how there's, like, that period of time where you just wait it out?
You're like, all right, I'll just wait till, you know, you hear that sound go away and
then you'll try it again.
Dude, I was plunging the shit out of this thing.
You're lucky you had a plunger.
Yeah.
Dude, I had to go into the woman's bathroom just to get the plunger.
So I'm like, I'm in a legit bank, dude.
I'm like, oh fuck.
Walk into the woman's bathroom, grab the plunger, come back, start freaking going at it, dude.
And then I flush it again and it comes up to the rim and i'm like it's over yeah you know what i mean and then i instead of just leaving it overnight i was like i'm just gonna try one more
time tried one more time dude it just started spewing everywhere dude like legitimate shit
like all over the floor you never try one more time it never works i don't know why i did it
dude but i was like i can't just leave it here you know what i mean if it doesn't work
the second flush it's not going down do they i had to call the maintenance guy do you work did
you work at the bank i still work at the bank work at the bank i had no idea he asked me like
10 years ago or if you told me i was gonna be working in a legit bank i'd be like that's kind
of cool though it's all right You ever think about robbing it?
No.
I know a lot of people who probably do have those thoughts, though.
Where they're like, I could probably take it.
So you're just looking at it like...
You're looking at the people around you.
Well, I mean, dude, like people...
I could take her.
Dude, so there is like a lot of robberies, though.
So I shouldn't be joking about this?
I mean, think about it.
Think about what the media publicizes.
They're probably not going to publicize every robbery.
You might see in like a local,
like a newspaper or something like that.
But like in the shitty areas,
like down the road,
like central falls,
Pawtucket,
like there's robberies all the time,
dude.
People.
And the thing is like,
people get away with it because the first thing you're taught,
dude,
is like,
if someone has a gun to your head and they're like,
give me all the fucking money,
you're just going to give them the money.
And then that's it. So they're not like, no. So it's like if someone has a gun to your head and they're like give me all the fucking money you're just gonna give them the money and then that's it so they're not like no so it's that easy you're thinking what i'm thinking okay well that's yeah that's what i i mean that's what they
told me they were like yeah there's like a lot there's like a lot of robberies that you just
don't know about and they're in the shittier areas which i mean some people might you know
guess but like the thing is like a lot of people get away with it yeah so do you have like a big
vault like are you allowed to talk about this stuff or is this like no no no probably shouldn't
be talking about that i'm honestly just like the special guy in the corner like i just kind of like
oh you have your own office and everything in it i have my own uh you call it an office kind of like
a large cubicle yeah so you're not you're not are you not one of the people like i go up to like oh hey like i
you know so like you walk depositing yes you walk into a bank and you have the tellers and
then you have like the actual like yeah let me get the floor print of the bank
i'm kidding good luck with that dude yeah no i'm okay let's not okay i'm cops you wouldn't you'd probably
you might get 10 seconds into it like you might get into the parking lot and then you get arrested
like you wouldn't even get into ginger do they have so much security and stuff like that
yeah we have like we have like legit like like keys that have like a button on it.
And if we press it,
like 40 different cameras come on,
like the SWAT team legit calls in.
Wow.
Like I pressed it once.
It's like the iPhone.
I thought it was a flashlight when I first started.
So I was walking around people and just being like,
hey, what's going on?
And then all of a sudden there was like 10 different phone calls.
And they were like,
are you okay?
Are you okay?
Like what's going on?
I was just like,
what?
Yeah, I'm fine. I was like, who's this like you know what's useless is the uh iphone emergency thing have you like you've ever done that you take your iphone you hold the
the screenshot button yeah no not the screenshot button the power emergency sos call yeah yeah
that thing's useless it doesn't work well like i've accidentally done it a couple times and i just
get like a voicemail like two hours later like hey just check it in is everything okay like what
happens if i was like actually in trouble right there yeah i'm just like meanwhile i'm in like
kansas in the back of someone's trunk and they're just calling me up like hey everything okay i'm
honestly man i miss getting in trouble yeah like uh that's that
whole like you turn 18 it's like uh you know you get some legality issues
dude we go a couple times and i would just be so stressed because i feel like john is gonna get me
in serious trouble i mean oh man i think um i. I think I've done a couple donuts with you in the parking lots.
I mean, that's kind of light for some people, but for me, like.
Eating donuts?
No, no.
Just like driving, doing donuts in parking lots.
Have you done that?
In your truck.
Yeah, have you done donuts with me?
Maybe in the snow.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm like, you know, like that's kind of like light for some people, but like little
innocent Luke in high school, I was like a sophomore then.
I was just like, John, stop.
John, stop the car.
Stop the car.
And the big flaming truck, dude, that's scary.
Yeah, dude.
We used to do like things that were so stupid.
Yeah.
How about when you did the, I don't think I was with you for this, but I think I heard about it.
Maybe I was.
Didn't you like put like a flaming dick in the road?
You and Joe, right? something like that no do you not want to admit on camera no i was with a few of the guys and like we had uh we had a sleepover yeah in someone's backyard
i'm not gonna name who obviously but uh like it was off of the main road. So we would always
sneak out and like play ding dong ditch and stuff. And then one night we were just like,
we're going to take this up a notch. And that's when you know, it's going bad. Yeah. So I think
we took like a, a water bottle of gas and, uh, we just drew this massive cock in the middle of the
main road and, uh, we didn't light it yet and then uh i'm not
gonna name who uh i can tell you afterwards but another kid we were with was like dude i'm gonna
take a shit in the middle of the dick and we were like dude how are you gonna take a shit
that fast like how do you have that much focus and he was like dude i'll do it on the spot
dude i swear to god it was i've never seen anything like it runs out in the middle of the
main road.
Perfect timing.
Takes a dump.
Dude, that would have taken me at least 30 minutes to gain composure, focus, and just take a dump in the middle of the road.
Takes a dump and then just lights it, dude.
So there's a legit flaming dick in the middle of the main road with a shit in the middle.
It smells like shit.
So we're like watching
from the kid's backyard
and there's cars coming by
and then I honestly swear to God
there was probably like
three fire trucks that came
like 10 cop cars.
Oh God.
And they had a neighborhood watch
while we were still in the backyard.
Yeah.
So we were in a tent
like laughing our asses off
and people are walking around
the neighborhood with flashlights.
Well they don't see the kids in a tent and like, laughing our asses off, and people are walking around the neighborhood with flashlights. Well, they don't see the kids in the tent, and like,
oh, what do we do?
I had no idea, like, how they didn't find us.
And, like, everyone was panicking,
and I was legitimately yelling penis.
Like, for some reason, my mentality was like,
dude, we should yell stuff, too.
That's what I mean, dude.
I was with you.
Dude. Anxiety, bro. I'd be like, oh, I'm going stuff, too. That's what I mean, dude. I was with you. Dude.
Anxiety, bro.
I'd be like, ah, I'm going to get a lot of trouble.
And then later that night, this kid whipped out, like, a bow and arrow.
Oh, no.
But they were like wooden arrows.
Yeah.
And he just started launching them in the air.
Yeah.
And who knows where they landed, dude.
I was just like, yeah, dude, that's actually, that's actually that's even smarter man like we should do that yeah dude i uh i never did anything
that crazy at night i um me and my buddies do you ever do the tv remote in people's windows
no the universal tv remote oh universal yeah and you go and you change people's channels and turn
their tvs on and stuff yeah yeah. That's actually a good idea.
Yeah, we used to do that with what I have.
I think I had cocks, so we'd go and find anyone who had cocks on the street,
and you'd just go in their window.
But think of how messed up that is.
An elderly person just sleeping, and all of a sudden their TV comes on.
It just starts blaring.
You're like, who's in my house right now?
I'd probably have a heart attack now if that happened. That's actually a good idea though yeah it is and then well i got went
too far when i started like we went up to one house i just started like knocking on windows
like i wasn't thinking that through like oh this is like straight out of ncis right here
and we just would knock on one window run down the other side and knock on the other and just
book it dude like that's like that's some horror movie stuff right there.
Yeah, we had this one Asian kid who you know, too.
Obviously not going to name them, but he would do stuff that was just, like, not going to
do that, dude.
Yeah.
Insane stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
We used to sneak out.
We would always, like, have sleepovers in tents, and then we would sneak out at, like,
one or two in the morning.
Yeah.
And we'd always, like, pinpoint people who were just complete assholes yeah like people that
you'd walk by or like ride your bike by and say hi and they just be like this guy's gonna get it
tonight jeff you better keep your eyes for it buddy do you remember when we camped out at the
res me you dude that was a fucking nightmare dude me and you were cuddling
you were so emotional that night come here ginger what was that yeah you were so emotional that
night no i was not yeah you were cocked no no no that was uh maybe i was that was the only time we
camped out in the woods yeah that was fun i had fun you see what i was like i was just like like
holly like camping out with the boys right now.
You're just like these freaking idiots.
I think that was like the second time
I've ever drank before.
Yeah,
you could tell,
but I remember cuddling with you in the tent.
Yeah.
It was pretty cold, dude.
Yeah,
I was scared.
That's why,
because I was scared.
Yeah,
you could hear like animals and stuff.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
You could hear like oil paper and stuff.
Yeah,
you could just hear animals.
It was like pitch black.
But dude,
we had baseball the next morning.
Yeah. Well, do you remember what, that's what I figured it up Do you remember Nick? Do you ever have a Nick?
Yeah, it was like rap battling everyone
He was just trashed and you just come up like yo rap battle me like no Nick
You like you just start putting lines like I'm a put a whatever and then you just fall over
We're like dude Nick you guys sit down and like what time's just going at someone and just midline, just boots on the ground.
Dude, he went to baseball the next morning.
Oh, yeah.
Just left, right?
He's like, coach, yeah, I don't care.
Dude, me and Joe had nowhere to go in the morning.
It was, like, 6 in the morning.
We had practice at, like, 9.
Yeah.
So we went to Eggs Up.
Yep.
And we're, like, still drunk.
And, like, we sat, like, right next to the bathroom.
So, like, the bathroom at Eggs Up is obviously, like, right next to, like, where people sit.
And, like, I'm laughing because I'm drunk.
And I'm, like, I have, like, no, like, motivation whatsoever.
So I'm just laughing at stupid stuff.
And Joe's like, all right, I'm going to go take a dump, dude.
Like, keep my spot.
And I'm like, all right.
Joe.
Joe takes a dump.
So bad. And kept the door open dude so like when he opened it like everyone in eggs up was just like throwing up like
dude it spread throughout all of eggs up i was like dude of all the things you could possibly
do like you had to take a dump like that bad and we were like still drunk so we were talking wicked loud
yeah like people could hear our conversations but i remember having baseball the next day and
just being like shouldn't have gone out last night but yeah that was the start of it you know yeah
then you go to college and you do it every night and not every night but yeah not me well i mean
yeah yeah well yeah yeah you were in a fraternity, though, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I was in a fraternity.
I was in Teak.
Teak at York.
Don't they have, like, a bad reputation or no?
I mean, I think we all kind of have bad reputations, all of them.
Except for, like, I don't know, SAEs, like, the gentleman's frat.
So, like, I guess they have, like, a good reputation.
Like the feminist frat?
Like the one with the ladies?
No. Oh, no. Is there one you're asking? Yeah, is there oneat Like the one with the ladies No
Oh no
Is there one you're asking
Yeah is there one that like
All the ladies like enjoy
Oh
Um
I think it's just
Whoever your friends are
Bad bitches dude
Who
Like at those parties
Oh yeah
I mean
Yeah
I met my girlfriend at URI
So you know
Oh shit that's right
Yeah so she's
I forgot you had a girlfriend.
So, yeah, I mean, you definitely meet some pretty girls.
Oh, so you met your girlfriend at a frat party?
Actually, so this is a funny story.
I like to dance.
I don't know if you know that.
I love dancing.
I'm not that good at it, but I like doing it.
So they have, like, fundraising events for the Greek life,
and I entered into
like a dance competition with a couple of my other buddies and you like paired up with a
sorority and you do like kind of like a dance battle thing so i always did those things because
like i probably like dancing more than anyone in the fraternity and no one else wanted to do it so
i just get two of the guys like hey let's just go dance let's have some fun she saw me in the dance
competition followed me after it because she like she was with
her friends like oh it was like i was hot you know thought the way i danced like the way i danced um
she's gonna watch this she's gonna get embarrassed but you know just yeah and then uh i literally
met her the next weekend she like showed up to one of our parties hit it off dude that's kind of
that's kind of cool though yeah it was a cool it's a cool
story it's better than just being like sloshed with like a no it wasn't like that at all no you
you know like yeah i met it and just started talking from there and found love dude you found
love dude how long you been dating i haven't seen you in like a few years uh i started last year i
mean like we met november of last year so it was kind of honestly it was
pretty serious right from the start yeah yeah i mean i kind of once i met her i was pretty
you know i was like oh like didn't really look anything else so anywhere else i was like yeah
yeah yeah she's a good girl you think you're whipped or no i think i'm whipped you don't
look too whipped i mean your brothers are kind of like like this is like whipped and your brothers are kind of like right on the edge and
i was like kind of worried for him like dude like you might which one both of them i'm like dude
they're like yeah i can't say this i can't say that i'm like i mean dude like you know maybe
just live your life a little bit you know yeah i mean i guess there's definitely things i can't say
but uh no i wouldn't say i'm whipped it's pretty it's Like, you know, we're just – she's pretty easygoing.
I'm pretty easygoing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'd let her come on a podcast and say whatever the heck she wants.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, obviously, you wouldn't want her talking about, like, dudes she's, like, blown.
We can cut that out.
It's my bad.
No, I don't want to hear about that.
Yeah.
You'd be pissed.
I mean, I don't want to hear about it.
You know what I mean? Yeah, but if it's a good story. I don't know to hear about that. You'd be pissed. I mean, I don't want to hear about it. You know what I mean?
Yeah, but if it's a good story.
I don't know.
I'm just playing, dude.
No, but I say I don't care.
No, dude.
I mean, there's whipped and then there's whipped cream.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean.
Dude, because there's this one kid who, he's been in a relationship for a while.
We used to be good friends.
And I was at the gym, the new gym I go to, and I was trying to talk to one of his friends.
We just kind of like, you know, small talk.
I'm not saying a lot, obviously.
John's small talk, you know?
I was like, yeah, so how's so-and-so talking about him?
He was like, I mean, dude, he's whipped.
I was like, what do you mean whipped?
He was like, yeah, I'll ask to hang out with him.
His girlfriend will be like, no, you can't hang out with dude, he's whipped. And I was like, what do you mean whipped? And he was like, yeah, like I'll ask to hang out with him. And his girlfriend will be like, no, like you can't hang out with him.
That's absurd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, dude, if you're dating someone and they're like, yeah, you can't hang out with so-and-so
and that's your boy.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
No, that's tough.
Like imagine if your girlfriend was like, yeah, like you can't go on the podcast today.
Oh, no, no, no.
She, when she heard about it today, she was just like, oh, great.
Yeah.
She just, she just, she was just more so like, all right, well, that's going to be a freaking train wreck.
But, yeah, she'll watch this.
Hopefully she gets a couple laughs.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll see.
Hopefully she doesn't cry, dude.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know, man.
It's probably just because I'm such a free guy, you know what I mean?
You are a free guy.
You're a free man.
Just abstinent, dude.
Just flying like a fucking dove, dude.
You know what I mean?
I don't have any worries, dude. I don't have to worry about pulling out, anything like that. Yeah. You're a free man. Just abstinent, dude. Just flying like a fucking dove, dude. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have any worries, dude.
I don't have to worry about pulling out, anything like that.
Yeah.
You don't have to pull out if there's nothing to pull into, you know?
Yeah.
Exactly, dude.
I mean, it's kind of like freeing, dude.
Yeah.
No, hey.
I think that was my biggest worry, dude.
Power to you.
Yeah, dude.
When you're sexually active, it's all about just, like, pulling out and then waiting until
the end of the month, dude.
That's, like, half the battle. It's a guessing game. Yeah out and then waiting till the end of the month, dude. That's like half the battle.
It's a guessing game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just kind of.
Yeah, man.
I'm just fucking living life on the edge, dude.
So like I think my freedom when it combines to other dudes, it just doesn't match.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Like I can do whatever I want.
It's unparalleled.
Paralleled.
Is that the word?
Paralleled?
Unparalleled?
I don't know, dude.
I barely know how to read.
Yeah.
I could do some numbers. That's about it. You know, a little number cruncher. Yeah, man. It's nice to be know, dude. I barely know how to read. Yeah, I could do some numbers.
That's about it.
You know, a little number cruncher.
Yeah, man.
It's nice to be free, though.
I mean, I just, you know, it's just, yeah.
But that's what it was like, just being in the frat life, just going to parties.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, it's awesome because you just make a bunch of friends.
And, I mean, I don't know.
I think other people would disagree with this, but I would say I'm not, like, a real frat kid.
Like, you met some of my friends. Like, you're just like, this kid's just, like, frat would say I'm not a real frat kid.
If you met some of my friends, you're just like, this kid's just frat, frat bro, through and through.
By last year, I was ready to get out of college.
Coronavirus, honestly, was not a blessing, but I was very happy to move home.
I was over it, you know what I mean like living in like a house like down there like no one's like i'm trying to i'm a neat guy and you're doing everyone's
dishes and stuff it's just like you get sick of it but like freshman sophomore year i mean it's
awesome like you know you always got something to do on the weekends you just you just mindlessly
just get plastered and you just have like a ball and i just i would just get plastered, and you just have, like, a ball. And I would just get plastered, go into the middle of the dance floor, and just tear it up.
Just dance.
Just don't talk to anybody.
Like, find a couple of the boys that can dance in the frat, and be like, let's do it.
Just wait for a good song.
Just drop some moves down, dude.
I'm sweating, dude.
I get sweaty.
Yeah, dude.
Like, people would be like, you need to stop.
And I'd be like, yeah, man.
They'd be like, nah, you need to stop.
I've been to a few of those, dude.
It gets sweaty in there.
Yeah, we had a couple.
The last two years, the houses that I've lived in, whenever we had a party, I mean, because, like, you've been down there.
Like, I don't think any other school is, like, serious as, like, you or I.
Like, they put the garbage bags up and stuff.
Like, it is just, like, a bubble.
Like, imagine, like, partying in, like, one of those bubbles that you, like, play sports in.
Like, the size of, like, two rooms.
And everyone's in there. Like, it's, like, a's in there like it's like a chamber in there it's a sweat chamber yeah dude you got
people like working security and stuff that must be insane dude yeah yeah yeah you get i think it'd
be cool just to like you get bartenders djs security ballet whenever i went up there like
because all my friends were up there but like obviously i wasn't a big partier but like when
i did party you know i i dropped some dimes yeah but uh what i noticed is like whenever i whenever i went to like any uh gathering it would like the
girls would always be like oh like what fraternity are you in yeah oh yeah and that's kind of like
unfortunately it's really like that you know yeah dude so if you're in a fraternity dude like
you're just getting straight pussed you know i mean just by saying that like you don't even have
to be attractive you can just be like no it's no it know what I mean? Just by saying that, like you don't even have to be attractive. You can just be like,
no,
it's not,
it's actually like crazy.
I mean,
like I would say,
I mean,
I know guys are even like that with like girls.
It's like,
you could think someone's an absolute smoke and like you start talking to them.
They're like,
oh,
I'm in blah,
blah,
blah.
I was like five,
five flama,
whatever,
you know?
And it's like,
ah,
well,
you know,
and then just like,
whatever,
that's all it is. Like it just because of that. So yeah, it gets, it's kind uh well you know and then just like whatever that's all it is
like just because of that so yeah it gets it's kind of what is that superficial is that superficial
i don't know to describe it yeah it's very superficial but like i just like didn't focus
on those aspects of it i focused on yeah i got people like i washed those dishes today i'm gonna
let loose yeah yeah it's pretty much what it comes down to i mean i see
like some well people don't know i mean people like you or i know but like i i spend a lot of
time studying like i was i was a big study you graduated early right yeah yeah i graduated um
i graduated a year early but that's like what was your major accounting accounting yeah but that was
more so like i took summer classes and stuff like that. So it's not like, I don't know, like, honestly, it's a lot easier if, like, if you just want to do it.
Like, honestly, anyone can do it.
You just got to, like, take summer classes, which no one wants to do.
Those are pretty pricey, though, right?
Or did you take them at another institution?
No, yeah, it's pricey.
I took them at URI, but I don't know.
I just kind of went for it.
Why accounting, though? You don't think it's boring? No, it's, I had't know. I just kind of went for it. Why accounting, though?
You don't think it's boring?
No.
I had an interest.
So, honestly, it's funny.
Like, sophomore year, my dad's like, you should do accounting.
And I said, okay.
And I started doing accounting.
He was like, he's named all these companies.
He's like, you should try working for this.
This is the top 100 company to work for in the country.
Good benefits and stuff. Yeah. And he was like, KPMG. You should try working for here this like this like top like 100 company to work for in the country like good benefits
Yeah, and he was like KPMG like you should try working for them and
Yeah, now here. I am. That's where I'm committed to know you got in yeah. Yeah, I did an internship with them last year
It was great. No shit. Yeah, they're awesome stuff. Do you do there?
so
I'm an auditor. I do audit so
Some people like don't like auditors don't prepare financial statements.
We're literally glorified fact checkers, like double checkers.
All we do is we go through.
We just test values, make sure it makes sense based on other business operations that happened in the previous –
like physical receipts and whatnot of stuff.
like you know like physical receipts and whatnot of stuff and then so my position sorry my position as an intern like i wouldn't i wouldn't do that much i would do so more so it's called like tick
marking so you're just kind of like checking to make sure like things within like a single sheet
like line up with another sheet like a source document like where these numbers are coming from
does that make sense so is there like another department though that like gets
the actual source because you have to like reach out to companies though right
too so you get like a whole so you know you're on your client so auditors you
work at your client too so like like I would go to my client like I would I
went to like three different places like while I was interning and like that was
my office for like the week you know and you go and you join the team and it's
like usually like audit associate you know senior partner manager and uh
while you're there so like you just like build a relationship while you're there so you're like
one of the guys like usually the younger guys so like i will be doing this when i start like
you'll go over and like hey guys like we need this we need that um usually they know what to get
like what to give you you know what i mean like what documents we need to do everything but like
for missing something we have an issue like you go there and you say hey
you know i just think it's cool because it's like the language of business that's what they say and
it really is i mean it is uh i mean it is a science isn't it yeah i got a master's in it is
master's of science so it's a science i mean it's just a fact yeah literally like you actually have
to like pull from sources though like it's not like accounting class mean, it's just a fact. Yeah, literally. But, like, you actually have to, like, pull from sources, though.
Like, it's not like accounting class where it's, like, just given to you.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Yeah, you have to – it's kind of like – it's not math at all.
It's all about knowing where to look and, like –
It's just, like, a different language pretty much.
Yeah, because – well, it's not math because, like, you put everything in Excel.
Like, that math is done for you.
You got to, like, figure out, like, you know, I mean, accounts rece math is done for you. You got to like figure out like,
you know,
I mean accounts receivable is off,
you know,
like where's the missing like transaction or something and you got to like sift through stuff and yeah,
it's,
uh,
you know,
I split it at Excel.
Uh,
I'm pretty,
no,
I'm at like for like accounts.
They're good.
They're like,
they're the real deal,
man.
Like they like control F,
like they got spreadsheets and stuff.
I can toss in two or three formulas.
That's about it.
I used to make discounted cash flow models,
like Wall Street prep kind of stuff.
And just the shit the instructor would do on Excel,
I'd be like, I got to go home.
Yeah.
No, it was insane.
I did a couple of those too just this year.
And, yeah, I mean, like they're pulling it from different sheets and stuff. That's what sucks about finance, though. yeah yeah no it was insane i did a couple of those uh two just this year and yeah i mean like
they're pulling it from different sheets and stuff and that's what talks about finance though it's
like pretty subjective you know what i mean yeah if you have an accounting major you can pretty
much do anything in finance for the most part or at least figure it out but like if i went into
accounting i'd be like fuck well that's the thing too with account yeah it's just i mean i don't
know my dad was always about like job security safe bet
and a lot of things
I did is because of my dad
and I got lucky
like I actually liked doing it
because we
a lot of the big banks
use like IBM software
and it's
yeah
so he sells
he does more so to
like healthcare
and stuff like that
places
like state government
like governmental things
and stuff like that
a lot of the other software
is kind of like bullshit.
Like it's kind of shitty.
Yeah.
But like,
I don't know if you know
like what host is.
Sometimes you'll see it
in like older like finance movies.
Host?
Yeah, just ask your dad what it is.
Host or host?
Host.
Like you're hosting me right now?
Yes.
That's what it's called.
Hostess.
A lot of companies use it though.
Like you'll see it
in like old finance movies
and it's like the old
like black screen with the green lettering. Yeah, Old finance movies And it's like the old Like black screen
With the green lettering
Yeah yeah yeah
Oh like Matrix
Yeah
Yeah like coding
Kind of looking thing
Yeah yeah yeah
Really
But it's like very useful
But it's wicked old
Yeah
But it's like so reliable
So people still use it
IBM is
I read like
IBM is this crazy company
They helped out the Nazis
Did you know that?
Dude I can't even imagine
What IBM did dude
Yeah Honestly man There's probably some crazy shit they uh yeah i read that in a class this
year ibm uh helped out the third wreck is it a wreck how you pronounce it r-e-i-c-h anything
about the nazis dude it's interesting stuff you know that's a lot that's just something that
people just throw under the carpet you never know that but yeah dude ibm's huge man but dude if you get into the big four, that's, like, a fucking huge accomplishment, man.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I'm happy about it.
I mean, it really just takes, you know, just you got to apply.
And I don't know.
Other people go, like, it just depends on what you want.
Like, I know people that, like, did different places where, like, someone outside, like, oh, it's not as big as a firm.
But, like, they're just as capable as me
or you know
probably even more capable
it's just like
finding your niche
you know
cause I'm gonna have
a busy season
where I'm gonna be
working like
80 hour work weeks
from like
you know
really?
yeah like mid January
to like April
I'm gonna work like
80 hour work weeks
oh so the tax season?
yeah but
we had to
you know
annual financial statements
come out kind of in that time.
Because, like, most companies' year ends are December 31st.
So you have to do, like, the compliance reports and stuff?
Yeah, like, you know, we have to prepare the whole audit report.
So we have to give our opinion.
So, like, we're trying to get, so they're preparing the financial statements because, you know, they got deadline, because they got to release it.
Because, like, you know, we do a lot of public companies and whatnot.
So, like, SEC, it's real, you know, strict. I don't want to throw, like, too many words in here lot of public companies and what not so like SEC it's real you know strict
I don't want to throw
like too many words in here
I don't want to get like too boring
but yeah basically
I mean fuck them dude
no I'm just kidding
yeah
but like
yeah so they
like they're trying to get stuff
in done
and like you know
we have to give our opinion
and like we need
so it's like
it gets crazy
that's some big
swinging dick shit man
yeah it's cool
I think I'm just going to be a janitor
thought I was going to be a janitor no I think I'm just going to be a janitor.
Thought I was going to be a janitor?
No, I think I'm just going to be a janitor at this point.
Get out.
You're going to own a bank, dude.
You're going to be the CEO.
Own a bank?
Yeah.
That makes sense.
Bank of John.
Fucking Johnny Salami Bank.
Should give out John bucks, salami bucks. throw out Give out John bucks
Salami bucks
I'll give out fucking
Like sausage links
Salami links dude
You know what
That'd be a good
You should own a deli
You ever thought about that
Johnny Salami
I mean dude
I wouldn't want to like
Slice the meat
But I wouldn't mind
Like managing people
Yeah that'd be cool
Be like Jeff
Like you gotta step your game up Okay I think you I think you could own a deli line and you could just just put
a big picture of your salami nipples on it honestly I just don't want to sell stuff you don't want to
sell stuff no like getting the sales you're saying I'm already in sales and i want to get the fuck out of sales sales fucking sucks really selling shit dude at a bank you know how hard that is what are you
selling at a bank investment products in a bank yeah so i'm like hey fuck fdic insurance yeah you
should invest your money and lose fucking all you sound like a stockbroker yeah think i mean think about it dude the coronavirus just hit like
if i if i made a huge sale yeah before it hit yeah dude they're done i'm done they're smoked
that guy's coming in yeah the legitimate gun in like a week and he's gonna fuck me up dude
yeah wow i uh i kind of just mess around with stocks and i got so lucky dude i just
i'm trying to get a dog, as I told you.
And I needed cash because I was like, all right, I'm going to start saving up.
I'm going to look to put some money down on some dogs.
So I just pulled out whatever I had literally a week before the coronavirus.
It was like a thing, and the stock market just crashed.
So you bought really low?
No.
So I pulled out is what I'm saying. I had it back in like the summer i was just like doing something i didn't
i wasn't like serious about it i just would like track it see like what's going on in the news type
of things that make it move up and down and uh i pulled out like a week before and i was like oh
god yeah dude yeah yeah so i thought about buying once that hit yeah i just thought about buying
like tesla buying like an index fund. Dude.
Buying like an index fund, just holding it until I'm like 70.
Yeah.
Well, that's what I was in.
I'm trying to go to a new platform to trade on, so I just sold that and bought it again.
You know, weird funky stuff.
I mean, it's pretty easy to find shit to trade on. I want to get into day trading.
That'd be sweet.
But that's like this, not the dumbest thing, but like.
No, it is.
Yeah.
It's like 99% of like day traders fail, but it's probably so addicting.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
It's gambling.
Yeah.
Literally gambling.
I wouldn't want to do that, dude.
I'm just trying to like buy and hold, man.
I don't have time to keep up with the market.
Well, that's cool.
So I, so I work at Dirk and now, but once I get, if, if I get the dog, I'm just going
to be at home. I can't work if I I get the dog, I'm just going to be at home.
I can't work if I, like, get this dog if I try raising it.
So I'm going to have, like, two, three months where I'm, like, not working,
and I'm hoping I have had enough money to save up.
But, like, I'm just – I mean, I don't know if I'm going to try it out or not,
but I figured I'm just – I'm trying to look into it now and just see if I –
or at least, like, do, like, not day trading, like, aggressively, but I don't know.
I just want to try messing around with it. See if I can do something.
They have a bunch of courses online that you can do.
Yeah. TD Ameritrade, they've got
some stuff. Yeah, I don't know how reliable.
You can probably find better stuff on YouTube, honestly.
Free information instead of
paying for it. Yeah, no, this
platform's free. Thinkorswim by TD Ameritrade.
It's good. Yeah, it's all free.
Yeah, I wouldn't pay.
I know they have like Market watch has like
The simulated stock market
So you can do that stuff
And like practice on it
Yeah but isn't that
Don't you have to pay for that
No it's free
Really
Yeah
Yeah that's good
Yeah there's always that
I go on CNBC
And it's always those guys
It's like oh
Like Martin Foley
Like just found like
The next like
Like prime
Like stock
Oh yeah it's all like spam
Like yeah it's like
Oh like spend
$300 now And you get like Inside scoop on it It's like yeah it's like god like spend 300 now and you
get like inside scoop on it's like okay it's like this is the next amazon i'm like all right yeah i
mean if you have your um if you ever stuff with like uh fidelity or like uh no that was my fucking
computer that's not cool man yeah but if you have like fidelity or even bank of america i used to
work for bank of america and we had access to all of their reports, all of their stock reports.
Yeah.
Wait, so you probably couldn't even do it then really, right?
No, I had access.
I had legit Merrill Lynch reports.
Yeah.
So if I wanted to look up information on a company, I'd already have the report there.
I wouldn't have to do any research really.
Yeah, but working for a company like that, could you not invest in certain companies like i can't invest in certain companies at like the job i work oh yeah i think
it depends it breaches like independence that would be more so like insider trading and stuff
like that but like me like it's only if you know insider information yeah oh so you didn't have
access to that you just had like yeah everything you needed at your fingertips if i work for merrill
lynch and i know there's gonna be a huge sell-off and I take advantage of it. Yeah, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's insider trading.
But if I'm just like,
if I've just started with the company
and I'm like, I want to invest,
like I'm pretty sure you can do that.
I don't think there's any,
I mean, maybe some companies have.
You might've done some insider trading.
Yeah, I have a bunch of inside information.
Oh God, yeah.
Yeah, man, who knows, dude.
It takes so much time just to like
I don't know man
you ever see like
technicians
like
technicians
like day traders
like people who like
analyze charts and stuff
yeah that's what I've been
looking up
if you look at them
dude they have like
it looks like someone
crop dusted their forehead
and stuff
dude like they barely
have any hair
yeah yeah yeah
you know
that's why yeah
I just want to try it out
I mean see that's the thing you can't try it out for a month like i wouldn't get any i wouldn't
get anywhere you know what i mean like i wouldn't do anything i'm wicked conservative so like
yeah books like uh a random walk down wall street shit like that yeah you read huh you read dude
you try that day i saw you at the monastery i was learning how to read you remember that dude i saw you running dude wait
uh when was that you were running with your big ass headphones on they were probably the size of
the studios yeah i was running the studios oh man some old lady was teaching me how to read
and you were like what are you doing here i was like dude just research man
realistically dude i was i was Audiobooks up until then Yeah Sheesh
There was some good paths back there
I should start
I haven't ran there yet
In a long time
I should go run over there
There's probably a lot of people there man
Yeah
I heard they were gonna shut it down but
Really?
Yeah
Yeah I wanted to bring
Yeah I keep bringing it up
But I'm definitely getting a dog
Like I just don't know which dog
Do you wanna talk about it? Kinda do Honestly You've said it like seven times I'm definitely getting a dog. I just don't know which dog I'm going to get. Do you want to talk about it?
Kind of do, honestly.
You've said it like seven times.
I know, yeah.
I was waiting for you.
What type of dog, though?
I'm actually going to hear back today if I'm going to get a Bernice Mountain Dog right now.
I don't really know what that is.
They're like a big dog.
They're a big furry dog.
I mean, you've seen them before.
They're kind of like black with a little bit of brown here and white belly.
And they have a little brown around the eyes usually.
Yeah, they're really pretty dogs.
So I was on a waiting list.
I'm so mad.
She emails me like four days ago.
And she was like, hey, get back to us in 24 hours.
Our dogs just had puppies. Let me know. days ago and she was like uh hey like you know like get back to us in 24 hours like you know
our dogs just had baby like puppies you know like let me know and i didn't email her back really
yeah so i emailed her back like three days later i just saw it like i didn't see it like at that
time and now she's giving someone else a chance to like how much did it cost uh like 2500 they're
expensive yeah but uh it's gonna be worth it dude i want one of those big
ass like bulldogs dude i that was the first thing i wanted to get was so yeah there's a lot i was
going behind my dad's back for like since january the first thing i was trying to get was a bulldog
and like jared suze's dog i was actually like in contact with his breeder. Yeah. Literally was like, had first choice from the same breeder
as Jared's.
And I just,
just didn't,
it was like,
they're expensive
and I was just like,
yeah,
I can't do that.
There's a lot of risks
with those,
dude,
because I know they have
like seizures and stuff
and breathing problems.
They got a lot of problems,
dude.
You have to like,
they're so wrinkly,
like they're so fat and wrinkly,
you got to clean them every day.
Yeah.
It's like cleaning Jabba the Hutt.
That'd be fucking awesome though, to have one of those things.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just think they're funny.
They're the funniest dogs.
You ever seen videos of them?
They skateboard.
They're just, like, wicked stubborn, so it's, like, cool to hang out with.
Everything they do.
Like, you just tell them to get up, they're like.
Yeah.
That'd be awesome.
Yeah.
That was, that's my, that's probably my, like, dream dog.
I'll have one of those when I'm older.
When I have, like, the money to, like, support, like, a $500, like, vet visit, like, every, like, month. Like, have one of those when I'm older. When I have the money to support a $500 vet visit every month.
They're tough.
Yeah, that's fucking expensive, dude.
But they're cute.
Yeah.
Dude, I saw this breeder, Iggy Azalea.
That was their marketing.
They're like, Iggy Azalea has one of our dogs.
And their dogs are nine grand.
I was like, yeah, miss me on that.
Like, I do not care.
But yeah, they get expensive.
Yeah.
I'd probably drop the money though, just for like the reliability.
What?
Oh, that much?
I mean, yeah, spending that much.
I mean, you can get like 500 and like that's still like a high price.
900 is a lot.
Yeah.
But man.
Better than getting a dog from like the pound, like a rescue dog where you have to train
and stuff.
So that's where the transition went.
I still didn't tell my dad, and then I went to go to rescue.
And I started applying to rescues, and I was applying at Andre's house.
I just put his address down, so if they ever did a house visit, they wouldn't come to mine.
Oh, really?
Because my house was fine, but if they came through the door, my dad's like, what the hell are you doing here?
He's like, I'm getting a dog.
Yeah, I bought dog crates and stuff
like that like toys and i'd send them all to andre's house and he was just hiding them there
for me really yeah uh i got accepted for one dog but i turned it down um it was beautiful but i
think my dad would not have went for it but basically i had to bring like a dog in that
was like looked like a golden retriever type of dog be like dad like i did it and he was gonna i was expecting to fully have to move out for like a couple weeks but
i was hoping he would just kind of be like well i'd like my son back home so uh he let me move
back in but uh and then eventually he just went over to andre's house one day he goes yeah he's
like luke's been talking about a dog a lot i think uh i think i'm gonna surprise him with a dog and i was like no way so uh andre told him that i was looking and here we
are so did you get it no not yet but like it's like it's coming so it's not really a surprise
you know it's coming yeah oh well because andre and hayley were like his andre's girl was just
like you need to tell him right now like he's like apply he's like got like 100 applications
pending at the moment like because i was gonna just bring home a dog he's gonna take the chance dude yeah oh because
you don't get anything with my dad by asking for it and i never asked and that's why that's why he
will he was willing to do it i just was planting the seed yeah i was like oh dad like you know i
just talked about dogs you know so you gotta do it man it worked it worked and i'm very thankful
for it yeah dude hopefully you find a fucking nice one, dude.
I want a hound.
Yeah.
Honestly, like a big loud bark.
Hoo!
Like that.
And I want to be like, where my dog's at?
When I walk home and he just go, hoo, hoo!
Yeah, and then he shoots you in the foot.
Shoot.
Shoots me in the foot.
Oh, shit.
All right, dude.
Well, this was fun, man.
Yeah? Love you
We did it
Yeah it was good to see you man
It was good to see you
Thanks for coming on dude
Thank you
I appreciate it
I had a lot of fun