The Johnny Salami Podcast - Grant Moore

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Grant Moore by The Johnny Salami Podcast

I think I took a shit in my neighbor's lawn. Yeah. Hahahaha Oh, bro, I'm hurting. oh i've been going on other people's podcasts as of recently and i've just been bombing dude I've had a little bit of a streak myself. Just brutal. Like 10 minutes in, I'm like, dude, you really fucked yourself, man. Yeah, dude. Multiple times, like during a podcast, I've been like, I'm the least funny person in this room.

And it's a three-person podcast. Yeah. It made me think, though, like you've been on here a bunch. And just can't even imagine you know what goes on in someone's mind when they go on a podcast like mine or something like that i've never even thought about it because i'm like well you can i give it just a little you don't do a lot of foreplay you you go straight into yeah you know that's what everyone says yeah not about sex you know no no i would never that doesn't even happen. But like, as far as even comedy, people are like, dude, you literally just go kamikaze, just suicide bomber right into it, man.

Yeah. Like, I remember the first time I came here, I was with my friend Zach and he was hanging out and, you know, you were preoccupied, like setting it up and I was trying to talk to you and you were like, yep. And we sit down and it's like well okay we're going but it was fun yeah it was a good time man that's a really good time i had a blast but then yeah dude the second time i was on here the second the door shut i was like i fucking suck i'm so stupid yeah it's almost like your mind just completely yeah yeah but it's funny because like to be fun and good at this stuff you need to be not thinking yeah and uh the second you you trigger that like well what should i say next

you're all you've already lost yeah i mean you you nailed it right on the fucking boner dude yeah like uh i went on a real ass podcast which is like a huge podcast i guess dude i think it might have been at least maybe five minutes in i was like dude you're fucked oh no because you're thinking like oh shit like i have to yeah i have to be funny or this is over yeah you know and dude five maybe ten minutes and i was like it's i fucked it man you know it's. There's no digging out of this hole. It's so hard to like bring value when you're thinking about it, you know? Yeah. Cause you can't do that weird thing where you like half listen, half try to put your two cents in. Yeah.

Cause you're too busy being like, I'm not good at this right now. It's the same thing as if someone came up to you and they were like, yo, tell me a joke. Fucking freeze. Also fuck them though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I felt kind of bad, but at the end to you and they were like, yo, tell me a joke. Fucking freeze. Also, fuck them, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I felt kind of bad, but at the end of it, I was like, that's kind of funny.

That you bombed? I went, dude, you go into the comments section of one of those. Dude, if you want to see true hate. I can't. Dude. If you want to laugh, dude, go into the comments section of the podcast, the rap. Oh, my God, dude. Who else is on?

Is it you? It was like, so it was me at the beginning. Colm Turrell was supposed to come with me. And it would have been. That guy seems cool. Oh, it would have been so fun if he was there on time. But he showed up 35 minutes in. It's like, oh, man.

He's the one who got me on it. Right. And Louis J. Gomez wasn't there, so it was a female comic. And then Zach. And Zach's the man, dude. You know, Zach always crushes it. Zach who? Zach Amico.

Oh, is he a comic or is he just a rapper? I don't think he's a rapper. Definitely a comic. Who am I thinking of? Isn't there a rap? That would be hilarious if zach was uh oh he's like the big he looks like uh he's like a big teddy bear like like a trans hamburglar sorry to throw you under him as a bus no he's he's hilarious dude yeah he's super fun he crushed it he saved the podcast really yeah i was like thank god this dude's here man that's great yeah there would be one time okay so like it had to

be like 30 minutes in or something uh the female comic asked me a question and i remember vividly being like i don't know you know just flat out i was like i just fucking please i'm already nervous enough i don't need lady nervous on top of this uh well you know now you'll go back and you'll have like a little bit you've already the worst has already happened yeah i kind of like it man it feels secretly it's fun to talk about you know yeah that's the good thing about a bomb. Yeah. Is at least it's a bomb story. That's why I hate doing mediocre. Because when you do mediocre, it's just like, there's no fun out of it. You didn't do great and you didn't do bad enough for it to be funny with your friends.

Yeah, it's so funny to just talk about failure with the boys, you know? Because like your boys, like we know each other, like we know our personalities. Yeah. But everyone who saw that doesn't know like who I really am. what it's because like your boys like we know each other like we know our personalities yeah but everyone who saw that doesn't know like who i really am no they just think you're fucking weird yeah they're like this dude said nothing of value for an hour straight like why is he you read the comments um yeah a few of them do you usually do that no i've been trying to stay out of it, man, but it's so hard. Like it's so addicting.

Once you get in, I can't do it because it destroys, even if it's like obviously a troll. Yeah. I sent out like a mass email from me and Ethan's show and someone just messaged back LMAO unsubscribe and it ruined my whole day. And they were just asking to not be subscribed to an email list yeah you'd be you'd be fucked yeah i'm serious the best thing that could ever happen to me is i have no notoriety because the spotlight hurts yeah because i mean i looked at these comments because uh colin was like dude once you go on rap man like things are gonna change i was like it's like all right man yeah and uh he didn't

say for the better bro it was it was i went straight into like a world war ii scene it was people were like salami sucks oh no it was a lot of that uh yeah just super hateful comments which are kind of funny but it's like yeah whatever man you You know? Yeah. I can't say I was being myself. Yeah. They are. It's funny because they're right. Yeah. Some dude was like, John, he's a retard.

Can't argue with that, man. He's kind of spot on on that one, you know? And I know you. Yeah. Yeah. I read that. I was like, this guy knows too much about me, man. Yeah.

You know? But he didn't see the right kind of retarded. Yeah. You know? But he didn't see the right kind of retarded. Yeah. You know? It is, dude, it is crazy what people think about you just based off of, like, a podcast, though, dude. Yeah. Like, I read one comment, and this woman was like, John seems very charismatic, and I didn't know what charismatic meant. Yeah, that's a google word so i go on google

and i start typing in charismatic dude and immediately chatterbait pops up okay i'm like dude this is this is who i am yeah you know like this woman thinks i'm charismatic but you're chatterbait yeah so it's almost like no matter what you know you're fucked i don't know if that's what i would get out of that but yeah it was just a sad moment man yeah no i i feel you man especially when you're just stewing like you just have those like negative comments and you're plus it's like you have the emotional response as if someone is like in your face yeah but it's just some fucking pussy behind a computer screen they're nothing oh but you have the same emotional response i got into a fight with a guy when i

worked for uh that gary v company and uh i did this like thing where i got really high and i went to the um museum of illusions which was And, uh, he said something about like how, uh, he likes to take gummy vitamin, like gummy weed every day. And I said, Oh, I got to stick away. And then he like launched in this diatribe about how it was like, you know, bad for the weed movement. And I went, Oh, you're a fucking loser. And this is your whole personality. And we just went back and forth in person. No, no, no. In the comments and the comments. And then after like an hour of me being like, yeah, you suck. I was just like,

what did I spend so much time in there? What are you doing? That's a lot of people's days. I think that's what I, uh, what I enjoy about the whole thing is just taking it off the chest. Okay. You know what I mean?

Interesting. I know that's what she said, but like, yeah, of course like dude i remember fucking you ever get hurt when you were younger and you just take it like a fucking man dude so you're saying there was like a catharsis and just being able to to deal with the meanness yeah not a masochist type of way but like like look at me yeah look

at what i can withstand can't fucking hurt me, dude. Yeah. Even though you were crying when you were on your phone. Yeah. No, I feel that when I bomb. Yeah. I feel that when I bomb. I'm like, this is my biggest fear. And look, I'm fine. Yeah.

And then after that, I want to kill myself. Yeah. It's funny because the less you give a fuck on stage, the better you do. Yeah. A lot of standup is literally just showing everyone in the crowd that you don't give a fuck on stage the better you do yeah a lot of stand-up is literally just showing everyone in the crowd that you don't give a fuck what they think when deep down i mean i think deep down you do but externally they can't tell you know do you think it's give a fuck or do you think it's fun like or it's like an authority on funny because i think there's a lot of people who go

there man i don't give a shit and people't like that, especially if they paid for tickets. I actually did, um, uh, a bath house. Have you done the bath house? Like the, the cold tub and the podcast. Oh no. Oh, they do Collins in the stand basement. And this, I did it in this dude called in, I think he listens to the podcast and he said something that actually stuck with me. Yeah. Which made me happy. He said, I am unapologetically myself. Yeah.

He said that about you. Yeah. Okay. And that stuck with me. That's good. Because that's, I think that's what you should strive to be. That's the goal. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what you want to be on stage is just as funny as yourself, as you are with your friends and you are with strangers. Yeah. Unapologetically is the hard part, though. Yeah, no, I apologize for pretty much every second of my existence, so that is what I'm going for. Yeah. I think it'll just come better with time, though.

Yeah, dude, I'm such a fucking queef that if I'm in a place like, let's say I go to Ireland, I start speaking in an Irish accent because I'm such a chameleon. You're just a product of your own environment, dude. Yeah. I guess I just want to, they look like they're having so much fun. Yeah. That makes sense, man. You're just like, you soak in the energy around you. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. My voice changes a lot. If I'm really nervous, it gets like super deep because my throat kind of like gets clogged up yeah i think that happens a lot with with bros is you uh you kind of it's like a chest puffing out thing of like but if you're like super relaxed like having a silly goose time yeah i sound like this when I'm having a... Yeah, you just come out of the closet, dude. Yeah, I just start eating bowls of cum when I'm really chilling. That happens a lot when you're younger, dude. You have like a sleepover.

Everyone's playing like hide and go seek. Next thing you know, dude, you're a little schoolgirl, man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember a couple of those. Two boys, same hiding spot. How are we going to fit in here? Yeah.

You knew everyone's hiding spot too dude oh yeah i did yeah i knew what i was hiding in it dude i ever tell you the story about uh the time i went paintballing dude paintball is my favorite thing on for real i fucking love you look like a fucking paintballer right now i dude. I love it. Yeah, I do. This is my storm front uniform. That's a cape, dude. Yeah. Dude, I love these little thin things with the hoods built in. Yeah.

I wouldn't be able to wear that because of my nipples, dude. Don't say that. No, I've tried. My nipples pop out. That's what male sports bras are for. Fuck you, dude. Sorry. You're professional?

No, I just love it. like during covid that's all we could do because it was outside so uh we would go every weekend and just fucking light each other up there's nothing like shooting your friend in the face with a paintball gun just just watching and then they get so pissed off some dudes are so good at it though dude you know yeah i know there's there's some guys that and they they always like look it you're just like okay this guy's like too happy to be a school shooter but he's got every other aesthetic part of that going on you know like he's gonna fuck me up there was a i went twice one time i went with uh it was my cousin's birthday party she had a boyfriend and all of his

friends were like really into it. Girl paintball party. So yeah, my cousin's a woman. Nice. And she invited my sister and I to this paintball, outdoor paintball place. Good for her. And her boyfriend was like the one who, I don't know whose idea it was. But anyway, me and my sister showed up, man. We're probably like 15, 16 at the time.

We're literally in the woods, like hiding behind a barricade, like, you know, hiding for our lives, dude. Because everyone else is going, people, we had rental guns, like the shit. Right. Like type 97s. Does it go like FPS, feet per second? Yeah, I think that's how they measure it. Oh, yeah.

Some dudes had like snipers, dude. They could shoot like 450 FPS or something like that. Yeah. I think the rentals are like, just like a fucking cumers, dude. They could shoot like 450 FPS or something like that. Yeah. I think the rentals are like just like a fucking cum shot, dude. Yeah. You basically have like a certified flare gun. Yeah. You could probably cum harder than the rentals.

Yeah. I mean, I should have just started jerking off. Yeah. That also stands. I'm her cousin. But dude, I remember being behind this barricade with my sister and i was like we gotta fucking shoot like we gotta fend for ourselves uh-huh dude i just pop out of the barricade and start fucking shooting everywhere yeah dude i was aiming like 100 yards past this dude and it just hit the

guy like my own teammate in the ass i shot him dude i shot up his whole ass yeah and he's like he stood up turned around started sprinting towards my sister dude and just screaming at her he was like you fucking suck i was like oh it sucks like i didn't i didn't even stick up for her dude he was the best he was like one of those professional pain because once you get hit you have to you're out. They don't discern whether it's your team or not your team. I shot this guy like six times in the gooch, dude.

I don't even know how you do that. Was he going up a ladder? I don't know if that's a possible place to shoot someone. Can you imagine just feeling like six paintballs hit your ass? No, dude. You're like, fuck, they're behind us. They fucking hurt, don't they?

Oh, my God. But it's like a good, it's almost like the bombing thing. It's like a good pain where you're like, yes. Dude, no, I almost cried. Really? Oh, man. I kind of like it. I almost cried when I did the indoor paintballing.

Oh, yeah. There was a place down my road, and it was like this guy's house. He just rented it. It was almost like he was getting a divorce. He just wanted to send a message to his wife. That's such an awesome move. Oh, man, dude. It was so funny, though.

It looked like an actual house when you were inside of it. And I remember, dude, I just breached this door and i i go inside of this room and all the lights are out i just i'm just letting loose you know i'm blind firing everywhere just always indiscriminately firing your weapon i turn on the lights and it's the bathroom like it was like the public it was like a six by three room. You're just cracking tile. There was a sign that said like off limits. He was like on the door that I breached.

There's a guy gooch first. Imagine dude, imagine taking a shit and someone like breaches the door and does that. Oh my God. I hope to never. Cause you can't even move, dude. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a, it's an exhilarating thing, but here it's, it sucks cause there's not a lot of good places to do it. But, uh, back in Wisconsin,

it's just the woods. And so you're just in the middle of the woods and they have like all these different fucking, like they have a castle where we went. They had like a POW camp where you're like on different sides and there's trenches so you feel like fucking willem dafoe and platoon when you're going through all and then you just get shit on by four year old like oh yeah but it's so much fun man even just being in the woods with the boys yeah walking around it's great oh my god i went on a hike with a dude once no homo

and halfway through i was confused sexually yeah i was like this is such a good time man yeah yeah that's why i hike time to look up and get gay dude it's about that time i love hiking it's the best man it makes you feel so instantly like uh better and a part of the whole yeah i'm sorry i shouldn't say stuff like that no that was hilarious would you hike in wisconsin yeah i uh i did like a gap year thing in between high school and uh college where i did like a lot of hiking in chile yeah um and then so now me and my friends i'll try and plan a trip like once a year once every two years and uh we went to idaho which is so fucking beautiful in the white cloud mountain range and we did some great hiking out there but

i love that shit just like having everything on my back and like going especially when you can get off trail it becomes way more fun because you feel like a fucking explorer, even though a thousand people go there, you know? So I did the monster was like stuck in my, oh yeah. Yeah, man. I used to, uh, I went to Mount Monadnock in New Hampshire, which is like, I think it's like the most hike trail because it's kind of like, it's not easy to hike, but it's kind of like safe, probably medium skill level. Okay. And every time I went, I would always bring a female, which one time I went with this woman, Jane, who I went to college with.

Okay. And she had a boyfriend at the time, so it wasn't like intimate or anything like that. Respect. I remember crop dusting the entire trail yeah on the way up yeah that was like a good moment for me yeah i bet it was probably the opposite for her dude i remember farting like going up the hill and i remember smelling it and just being like dude that's legit the worst smell like how did you smell it going when you were... Oh, dude, the second a fart leaves my ass, like...

It goes forward. Oh, no, it goes right into everyone's nostrils. How did you know? Oh, dude, it does like a 360. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's really like an impact zone. Oh, dude, right away.

Like there's not even like a buffer. Yeah, I guess that doesn't surprise me at all whatsoever. Especially if you're drinking 8 p.m. poop fuelers. Well, before a hike too, man, like I would have like a fucking protein bar and like a monster. So that's going to, but I was going to say, dude, that was fun. Like going with Jayme was super fun. Afterwards, you just feel so good, man, you know? say, dude, that was fun. Like going with Jane was super fun afterwards. You just feel so good, man. You know?

Yeah. Cause you just farted in someone's face for four miles. Yeah. You farted in another woman's face and she was like, there's nothing she could do about it, man. The worst is when you go with a girl who you're like dating, dude, I went with a girl I was dating and we were on the way down the mountain and and she fell, and I started laughing, dude. She got so mad.

It's funny when people fall. It's so funny, dude. Yeah, falls are really funny. Not only is it funny when someone falls, but it's funny when they get upset about it. Like, I'm not going to stop fucking laughing. Yeah, that makes it hard. That's so fucking funny.

It's also funny when someone falls down a mountain. It's a very, like, extended extended fall you're going for a while where you gotta put your claws in yeah this wasn't even like if that happened i'd be like oh yeah shit and then i'd start jerking off of course but uh dude this was like a little rock popped up and she tripped over it and hit her ass on the ground and i was like that's fucking hilarious yeah and then she saw me laughing you know oh yeah so you're safe ass is a safe place to fall yeah but then i like she saw that i was visibly laughing and she was like and that just made me laugh even more you know what i mean yeah so weird to like go up to someone be like are you okay no it's a totally normal thing to do.

But I get what you're saying. Because it's like, dude, if I did that, you'd know I was faking it. You know what I mean? Dude, if you, if a man falls, if you fell on a mountain and I walked up to you and I was like, dude, are you okay? Yeah. Dude, you're not telling me you'd feel a little gay? No, I'd be like no thank you friend i've done it before really it felt fine oh that would make me feel so uncomfortable

even if i had like a broken leg and someone's like dude are you yeah a compound fracture yeah shut the fuck up it's squirting blood you're like go away there's blood everywhere fuck off yeah yeah well uh i'll make sure not to hike with you and expect any uh extensions of sympathy yeah i think it would be cool to hike uh like soon man maybe with like my shirt off or something yeah as long as you don't ask if i'm okay take the shirt off there's no consistency with what you're saying just straight up confusion dude yeah well you know get some vitamin d yeah but it's good for you i always think about taking my shirt off like halfway up the mountain and then i'm just like nah dude but i see other dudes who do it even when you see like a woman who's wearing like a sports bra you're like wow the chick probably uh like initiates blow bangs yeah that's typically the common

such a fun word initiate to be followed by blowback yeah yeah no i have thought that about uh women trying to be comfortable on hikes do you, cause you're not really like a judgmental guy. Like, do you, um, like when you see females, like, do you, is there something that comes into your head immediately where you're like,

all right, she's probably like this, or do you kind of like keep an open mind? Uh, unless something like jumps out to me. Um, I've never looked at another human being. Well, she initiates blow bangs.

Yeah. But that's really funny. Um, I don't know. I feel like I'm more judgmental with men. Um, but, uh, with women, I typically very shallowly, it's just like, oh, she's hot. I would like her to initiate a blow bang. I think what creeps me out about men is like, I just feel like when I was younger, dude, I was like, oh, like, well, even like a few years ago, I'd be like, oh, females are like, I would overgeneralize a lot. And now as I'm older, I start to realize how creepy men actually are. Yeah.

Especially if you talk to like four women. And it's crazy, dude. Cause like, you know, I have this podcast and I'm always talking about like tits and farts and blow bangs and stuff, but I'm not like a creepy guy. Surprisingly. No, you aren't. Yeah. Yeah. To be honest, I'm probably the opposite like I should

be more a little more creepy it might be creepy how uncreepy you are yeah because you kind of you're very quiet yeah at least in the social situations that I've seen you like I should start walking up to chicks and be like you look like you initiate blow bangs yeah can I smell your feet yes yeah can I get in on this business venture yes right at this tgi friday yeah man like i mean even with like social media and stuff it's like everyone is uh getting paid to be a creep like men are being paid to be creeps i mean dude women are getting paid to bend over in front of like a David's bridal. I haven't seen that catalog issue yet.

Well, like every, the amount of females on OnlyFans is. It's crazy. There has never been a better time to just have big boobies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's just like, it's unlimited. It's like like if you can't get these tits turn the page man yeah which has never made sense to me and this is not a

like novel point but like there's so much porn just free porn yeah but i guess the only fans things it's is it's because you pay for it's because there's a paywall that's why it's hot well dude the i've always been a master of this like when i was in high school i used my mom's credit card to purchase a brazzers membership and it was worth it you know man like i have a way with shit like that but like my mom didn't know what brazz i remember my mom just being like yeah yeah you do i'm sorry it wasn't even secretive dude my mom was like what's brazzers and i was like oh that's for school right it's like ed moto or flash cards yeah it's like do you want me to see tomorrow do you want me to graduate

mom and then you fail every class because you're too busy wanking to high quality pornography yeah it was worth it man like was it really yeah i'll tell i'll die saying that man wow it was it was worth it man but then I ended up finding a site that had everything. The site had bang bros, mofos, blow bangs, anything you wanted, dude. And it was all free. And that's how it is today, dude. It's like you'll see a female comic who has an OnlyFans. And you're like, wow, that's insane for a female comic to has an only fans and you're like wow that's insane for a female comic

to have an only fans and then you can just type in on google be like so-and-so's only fans page leaked and then you look at it and it's just like this chick who you've seen in person like finger banging herself okay i feel like this is one particular i'll show you the page i've seen the page yeah and yeah man it's just like how can you even process that dude like you know but then i think about it and i just genuinely it's it's men's fault they're the one it's like it's the same concept as like a like uh like fast food it's like they built the chain and they supply the food but you're the consumer like it's always the consumer's fault yeah but it you get the same logic on the other side is you don't have to make the food that bad now that this is this particular metaphor makes it sound like i'm talking about women like they're bad food which is not what

i'm trying to do but like mcdonald's doesn't have to add the amount of like cancer salt that they do add right yeah because they don't add that in other countries like in Europe. You go to Europe, you have McDonald's. It tastes fresh. It tastes much better. It tastes like actual food. Here, they cut all the corners. They do all the... They put in the addictive stuff. You don't have to do that. You don't have to wear a

furry butt plug in public that's connected to a live stream. I mean... You don't have to. But that's going to make it... That's going to a live stream i mean you don't have to but that's gonna make it that's gonna make more people like fetishize you and it's gonna be i think it is gonna make it harder for you to have like relationships with like other comics where they don't in the back of their mind they're like oh i've seen this chick's pussy hole. I'm not blaming them. I'm just saying that's the situation. Yeah.

All I'm saying, dude, is if someone was like, yo, Grant, like your sphincter is on another level, dude. If you put up a picture of you bending over, you could make hundreds of thousands of dollars. My hole is on tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Same here, man. But the thing is i'd make five dollars yeah from a guy who looks like me yeah might be it might not be the best analogy

honestly dude i would pay to see it oh if it was in a public place oh what is that like if you if you create an only fans and you were like hey what's up guys i'm gonna start taking pictures of me bent over in front of like five star hotels oh okay i would 100 it was like five bucks a month dude yeah like people are around yeah so as long as i'm not alone that that'd be weird. Yeah. But to support your boy publicly spreading ass. Do you know how funny that would be? Yeah, but that's the thing is it would just be funny. I don't think any, well, maybe a select group of people would be.

Every OnlyFans page I've seen and I regret. I mean, listen, man, I go on it. Have you paid? No, I just told you. I just type in. You can literally just type in. Oh, you just do leaked. go on it. Have you paid? No, I just told you. I just type in. You can literally just type in. Oh, you just do leaked. Yeah, it'll show you everything.

But isn't that more unethical? I think it's the same thing as like what you were describing in the car. Like the system fucks you, dude. Oh, okay. So I'm playing the same game, dude. Okay. You're fucking with Medicaid, dude. I'm fucking with tits.

Leaked only fan tits. Yeah. I mean, there was one I saw. It was like some chick like finger banging herself in a public sauna. Ugh. Imagine jerking off in a public sauna, dude. I mean, that's like every gay guy at Equinox. They do that?

Really? They are sucking and fucking in those little chambers of theirs. You've actually seen a dude jerking off. I don't go to Equinox they do that really they are sucking and fucking in those little chambers of there you've actually seen a dude jerking off i don't go to equinox i'm on medicaid i've only heard i've only heard that i don't know it's like a common uh new york trope is all there like my friend her gay best friend met his current partner via suck offs in the sauna at Equinox. They, that should just be their advertising campaigns. It must be a big sauna.

I don't know. I've never been, but I assume that there can be much bigger than this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but Gaties are much, you know,

there's less threat of like violence. So I think that they, they have a much more liberated, uh, second fuck understanding. Yeah. I mean, when I go on the sauna, dude, threat of like violence so i think that they yeah they have a much more liberated uh second fuck understanding yeah i mean when i go on the sauna dude i'm listening to um yoga music okay i just type in yoga music on soundcloud it's like it's really peaceful like mixtape it's like an hour long you ever listen to those bowls um it just sounds like a bunch of silverware having sex with like yogurt dude oh you know i'm saying yeah kind of it's just like a weird mixture of sounds yeah but it's like it's metallic but also squishy it's like a metallic stirring that's the bowl really yeah

they're like they have a certain frequency the bulls and the frequencies allegedly align up with your natural it's supposed to put you in a zen state yeah yeah yeah so if i'm doing that in a sauna dude and i see some dude blowing another guy like it's gonna be hard to stay in that zen state you know yeah it's gonna be hard to for your third eye to open up. I would rather see another dude blowing another dude than a dude jerking off, though. Yeah, because that's contained in... I don't know why I'm trying to be scientific about my approach. But yeah, I fully understand that. Yeah.

Because he could jerk off onto you, but he's probably just going to get blown. And then that's a self-contained situation. Yeah. Like jerking off, especially like the sounds he would make and stuff like that. Oh, I mean, I guess a blow job would be very similar.

It might be a little more quiet though. I, yeah, but I just, it's, it's something about it's too, so they, and they're doing their own thing versus a a guy jerking off he could try and include

me in that yeah he could be jerking off to you and you wouldn't know well i think you'd know depending how dense the sauna fog was yeah but i mean at the end of the day you're just trying to do the right thing man and like add some years to your life yeah you know which probably jerking off in the sauna adds years to your life. Being that relaxed. Yeah, I think it does, like, factually. Yeah, for sure. There's definitely an article by Dr. Rhonda Patrick.

Just, like, spanking in the sauna adds 10 years to your life. Yeah, dude, all those heat cytokines. Yeah. Dude, I'm going to piss real quick, my bad. That's okay. My friend bought me an electric pocket pussy on Amazon for like $40. For real? Yeah.

Shit. It's electric? It's electric. Oh. You still have it? I had to leave it in Wisconsin because I knew if I brought it back, it would like ruin my life. Really? It was so good for real it it would like this has to go on the paint up it would like it had like a vibrating bead inside of it so it would vibrate and then it would suck what so it would like it was great it

was like the best head you've ever gotten this was 40 40 it charged with like an ox cable which made no sense to me i mean dude now now i'm gonna buy one don't be strong for real you'll quit the podcast i mean dude my girlfriend in high school bought me a pocket pussy what and i used it twice yeah and it i use it and i was like i can't be be doing this. Because it makes that sound. Yeah. And you just think about what you're doing. Yeah. Well, once you look down and you're fucking like a Nickelodeon-sized flashlight, like a comically big flashlight. It's so hard to hide, too.

I wouldn't even hide it. I would just put it in my closet. But use it as a vase. Yeah. Hide it in plain sight. Yeah. But that's wild, man. Yeah, it was crazy.

It felt like legit, like you were getting head. Like really good head. Because it like created like a suction thing. Yeah. And he used it before. I know he used it

before he gave it to me. No. Yeah. He cleaned it or no? I think he threw in the dishwasher. Yeah. Oh, it's dishwasher compatible?

You just take the sleeve out, throw in the de-washer. Wow, dude. Yeah. That just sounds too good to be true, man. It is. There has to be a con. I shouldn't have told you this. The con is that you never talk to a human woman ever again for the rest of your life.

But I seriously, I left it in a safe in Wisconsin. Yeah. Wow, man. I'm going to buy one too. Please don't. I'll feel responsible. I'm going to at least do some research, man, and see what I can get. It was like not expensive.

I wonder if they have like blowjob machines now. Oh, yeah. For real? I mean, they have the whole fucking, you can buy a lady in a box. You know, like the dolls? Yeah, it's a doll, though. It's not like a robot. Yeah, but they have ones that are robots.

But they're like 10 Gs. Me and my friend thought about doing a business where we basically had a van, and we would bring one of those around. So it was kind of like, you know, it's not fully a prostitute, but it's more ethical because there's no human trafficking involved and then he's like dude no one's gonna pay to fuck a doll that you deliver in a van and you actually uh you propose this idea we thought it was kind of a good idea wow that's fucking crazy really yeah dude you don't think that's a good idea i mean dude imagine driving around in like a purple

ice cream truck. You just show up to like a local park. Yeah. You stick your head out the window. You're like, blowjobs. Blowjobs. Yeah. Blowjobs and butt pussy here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, maybe a few guys would be like, alright. Yeah, a few guys. Yeah. Like, hey, can you park like over there?

Like you wouldn't finish your kickball game and go over and... Some dude's like with his wife. He's like, hey, can you park, like, over there? Like, you wouldn't finish your kickball game and go over and... Some dude's, like, with his wife. He's like, hey, I'm going to go piss. For about 5 to 15 to 30 minutes. Damn, dude. I mean, if we had, like, a fleet of them. Yeah, that's got to be similar to, like, those goggles, dude.

Like, once you do that POV stuff, stuff like you're probably in your room all day just jerking off like non-stop yeah it's the same reason why like i would love to play video games with you i would love to play fucking fortnite and the call of duty modern warfare or whatever just device god i sound like 300 years old yeah but i can't have that shit around man my phone's in black and white because I have no self-control. Wow. Yeah, I mean, we all have our vices, man. I think you just have to, like, pick and choose.

But I just don't really see, like, why that would be a bad thing if I had a pocket pussy that did some serious damage. Like, if I was always using it, like, it's not like I'm hurting anyone. No. But what are you doing to yourself? I think my roommate would be pissed, especially if I put it in the dishwasher. She can cum all over the place and shit.

Especially if you didn't start it every time. Yeah. Like if you just left it in for more dishes. Yeah, I told him like everything was clean. He's like, dude, my eggs taste like cum. Yeah, there's a little stringy in these eggs, yeah. He just dies. Yeah, from your cum. Like losesy, these eggs. Yeah. He just dies. Yeah. From your cum.

Like loses an arm, dude. Right. It's like, I'm not feeling good, man. You have to amputate it. Yeah. They're like, you have to amputate it or you're fucked. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, man. But I ended up getting rid of the pocket pussy, dude. Good.

I, uh, it was weird, man. I used it like once or twice and then I found it like four years later and I was like dude let's run it back and uh yeah I used it and I was like this is did you smell it it was just in lockdown in like some crevice dude you know what I did smell recently though was my uh my butthole point blank no I actually smelled my belly button, dude. Oof. Yeah, and that was a little reality check, man. Yeah. I put my finger in my belly button. I gave it a little whiff.

Mm-hmm. Dude. Really bad? It smelled like dick cheese, dude. Like, it was bad, dude. A lot of dead skin in there. And after I did it, I was like, you have to start cleaning your belly button. I haven't cleaned it since. Of course. It's hard to form new habits. Yeah yeah it's hard to clean a belly button too i've never done it one time yeah you just don't even think about when i dig the lint that is

always blue for some reason out of it oh no blue always blue yeah dude i pulled something out of there bro it was like cheese and hair. Like a dog. It was just like, yeah. Well, you've never been fat, dude, but when you get really fat, dude, you get dick cheese on your V. What is that? It's like legit cheese. Like your V, like right where you're like, if you have a pussy, you know what I mean? You get dick cheese on your pussy?

Well, if you're fat, like the folds in between your pelvic area right here yes that v shape v for vendetta dude uh-huh yeah okay v for dick cheese bro v for sharp cheddar how about that yeah that wasn't bad oh yeah but yeah i mean i get that with my uh with the rubbing from my nads. Wow. Like I have like, it looks like a spotlight on both sides of my leg from my balls, because I have a thigh gap because I'm a 14-year-old girl. Yeah. So my balls pendulum in between.

We talk about that a lot, man, how jealous I am of, you know. Finished, please. Just having a gap down there is crazy. Oh, because your nuts are always kind of pedestalized. Yeah, they're always in front, man. Yeah. Sorry to bring up a sore topic what are you saying though i was just saying my balls because i it's like two it's like a pendulum between two pillars right so there's just you can see like rubbed down like this is kind of darker and then right by my balls is like this light spot

yeah from my nads just oh wow so funny the idea people being like i need to hear more of this i'll pay a dollar you're like yep yeah it's worth it dude mission accomplished yeah i've always dude i hate when like dudes uh play with their junk while they're talking to you oh squeanging yeah yeah we have uh we used to have a rule in my old house where uh we would count uh how many squeenges you did and uh whoever did the most at the end of the week had to buy everybody around really yeah it was always my i mean i know dudes who literally like give themselves a hand job while they're talking to me it's like dude i'm not listening to anything raised you yeah dude i'm not listening to anything you're saying right yeah they spit on it really what no

oh i mean that would be crazy if like girls did that yeah like especially because like i'll watch guys like they'll scratch their taint and then smell it and it's like like, what's the variety? They scratch their gooch and smell it? Yeah, they just scratch and smell in front of me. Whoa. And I've never seen a girl scratch anything and then smell it afterwards.

Yeah. Sometimes. I mean, I used to pick my butt and smell it just to see what I'm dealing with. Of course, but alone. No, I mean, I'll just do it in broad daylight, dude. Okay. At the park. Well, then, I guess you're one of the guys

I'm bitching about. Yeah. No, I would never do that in front of... I think I used to hide it a little bit. You'd be like, you'd be sly about it. You'd be like... You'd get poop on your upper lip well I used to do it in class a lot I'd look around to see if anyone was looking

and then I'd give it a good wipe bro front to back that would be crazy there had to be at least 10 people looking at me for sure just get like shit all over my hand I'm like yeah

the eyebrow is good Just get like shit all over my hand. I'm like. Yeah. The eyebrow is good. Did you ever wank off in class? I wouldn't be surprised. In class? Yeah. Oh, dude. You remember that Zach guy?

Oh, yeah. Wanked off in sixth grade math class. During class? Yeah. Wow. Just didn't get in trouble? No. Just rubbed it. Did he bring like a barricade?

Rubbed it on the top of the desk. Got on with his day. You were there? No, my friend, my other buddy was there. He dared him to do it. Wow. Yeah. It takes a lot of skill, man.

Oh, well, he was very skilled in that arena. A lot of practice. He just didn't get in trouble? Well, we had the desks that like were their own units. So it was like a place to put your books and shit and then metal cut off in front. So you could, as long as this was a subtle motion, you're good to go. Wow. But I just couldn't, I can't perform under pressure like that.

Yeah, man, I can't do anything like that under pressure. Sometimes I remember I had this lesbian teacher who was a social studies teacher. And there was another girl in my class who was like a gymnast. And I think just sitting behind both of them, like watching the lesbian teacher teach and seeing the gymnast. I remember raising my hand once, fully erect, just being like, can I go to the bathroom? And the teacher was like, no. And I feel like she kind of knew I was going to go to the bathroom and the teacher was like no and i feel like she kind of knew i was going to go to the b room and spank one out whoa yeah she read you i think your poker face probably because you stood up when you raised your hand

yeah there was a lot of those like where i had to like espionage 007 textbooks over my yawn so I could go to the next class. Like there was a lot of like boner manipulation. You ever get hard from a textbook? Oh my God. I love biology. Yeah. That's what got you going. Oh yeah.

Cells. It's volcanoes. Ah. Yeah. I used to get hard to like sociology book covers. Oh. Just the diversity. Yeah. You'd see like some chick with a tit crack

And then some Asian dude doing math You'd be like holy shit Yeah Cause then you just think about them having like one big orgy During like a class Yeah unlike Pangea Like today's class is diversity And blow bangs

Jennifer Take your position. That's a good episode name. Yeah. Damn, dude. Diversity and blow bangs. That'd be crazy. There were so many teachers that were so hot.

Dude, imagine if they just like went in the middle of class. Yeah. And they were like, you guys ready for the blow bang? Imagine. Yeah. Do you think like if a teacher like who was, like, if you stayed after and you were the only one who stayed after and she was kind of, like, leading you on, do you think you could, like, actually follow through with it? You know, you want to say yes, but... Like back in the day.

In my heart. Well, back in the day, I could get a boner from a hot car seat. I feel like it would get up. But knowing what to do with it. I mean, I'd be getting molested. It's like, I don't know. That makes it even more enticing. Yeah, that's true.

It makes it so forbidden and hot. I mean, dude, if you were like in detention and your teacher just opened up her legs and she was like you want to cast some spells on this pussy big boy and you're like trying to study i'd be like gulp yeah yeah i'd take out my wand dude i would also i would take out my wand and i think my wand would uh not be in good form yeah i think i'd be very nervous about that oh wow because it's it's just like as an adult yeah it's like uh you know she's got like a position of power all that stuff that would be hot to me now at the time would be terrifying to my my small mind yeah yeah under pressure man that's got to be a lot that would be cool though dude if she like told you to pull some harry potter

shit not even do anything sexual just cast some spells on her pussy dude yeah what would that look like because i don't know what that means i don't know either i get it on camera right it's you with like one of those wooden fucking pointers yeah you're just screaming at her pussy yeah i'm pulling memories out of a clip yeah they're like what is uh what's going on here? Yeah. I mean, if you're in the security camera, though, you're definitely watching the whole thing. Well, yeah, just to make sure.

Yeah, you're not breaching the door. You're like, all right, let's see how this plays out. Yeah, because what's more important than the child is the potential of magic in this world. Yeah, the ability to change the trajectory of history, dude. Yeah. This is... If this is a true wizard

that we're dealing with... Yeah. He's going to be fine. Yeah, plus, dude, her pussy could haunt you for years to come. Right. Like, if you didn't follow through with it,

you're just thinking about that every single night. Yeah. You're like, what could have been? What could have been if I would have expelliarmus-ed her crotch? Yeah.

It's crazy, man. Like one decision can change the rest of your life. Yeah. Like imagine if you jerked off in middle school, man. Where would I be now? Exactly, dude. You could still be doing time. Yeah.

In middle school? There was a kid who jerked off in my high school. He jerked off in middle school and his name was jack so everyone called him jack off yeah so he was doomed he jerked off behind uh a girl whose brother also went to the same school didn't you all go to the same school i didn't go to their school but they all went to the same school. He jerked off behind this girl. The girl's brother went to the same middle school. Oh, okay. So he probably heard about it.

Imagine someone being like, hey, dude, someone jerked off to your sister in class. Oh, yeah. It would be almost like a sense of pride. No. Yeah. You'd be pissed, man. I'd be pissed. Yeah.

I don't know what happened. I don't know if they got in a fight or something but Probably That'd be kind of funny to watch But You jerked off to my fucking sister Yeah But to get beat up by that guy

Yeah Cause he's got fucking He's de-cheed And now he's more focused I'm surprised I didn't get my ass kicked for farting dude No that's awesome Everybody loves that Yeah but imagine getting your ass kicked for farting, dude. No, that's awesome. Everybody loves that. Yeah, but imagine getting your ass kicked for farting, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. But who's, what bully is going to not like farts in class? I mean, I saw one in real time, dude. No way. Happened a lot, man. You got beat up for farting in class? Well, you farted in class a lot, for sure.

Yeah, I never told you this? No. Oh, I tell this story a lot man oh yeah dude i was in middle school and i always got made fun of for being quiet and like all the teachers thought i was mute dude so on the last day of school but also farting yeah that's a great combination last day of, man, I just leaned to the side and ripped one, dude. And it smelled so bad, man. Literally, I could feel my eyebrows peeling off, dude. And the kid behind me was like, he tapped me on the shoulder, and he was like, yo, dude, you pull that shit again, I'm fucking you up.

And I was like, all right, man, my bad. And then I just kept thinking about all the teachers who made fun of me and I just farted again dude and it was such a bad smell again dude and no one's laughing like no one thinks it's funny and I just have a straight face so the teachers are like oh he's retarded

so I remember taking the bus home and I'm on the bus and I get off the bus and I'm walking home with my sister and I feel a snowball hit the back of my head, dude. And I turn around. It's the kid, bro. He took the wrong bus home just to follow me. Oh, and he was standing by like a snowbank and he was like, dude, come fucking fight me right now. And I was like, who are you?

come fucking fight me right now and i was like who are you that's a great strategy yeah i've never seen you before in my life yeah some people you know some people think like he was you know he's i remember him pausing for a little bit you know he's like who who am i yeah you know he looked deep within but yeah man he would have fucked me up if it wasn't for my sister my sister was like fuck you pussy like my brother will fuck you up and yeah he was as in you yeah like she was talking for me wow she's like you don't want to fuck with him yeah he's fucking mute yeah he doesn't even talk yeah this motherfucker doesn't talk yeah those guys are strong yeah those guys are typically pretty strong but yeah he doesn't even talk yeah this motherfucker doesn't talk yeah those guys are strong yeah those guys are typically pretty strong but yeah he ended up having to walk home dude i think it

might have been like two miles i think damn what a loser to get farted on twice and then be asked who are you i was trying so hard when i was farting too to like make everyone laugh yeah just no one was doing that's so that's so much funnier now i'm like yo everyone watch this shit yeah just so full of hope i was like oh you guys don't think that first one was funny? What? Yeah, watch this. How about round two? And they are just not entertained.

Yeah, there's nothing funnier than when no one's laughing, dude. Sometimes, for some reason, it's just, but it's in the moment, I don't typically laugh at those things. Yeah, you got to have friends in class, dude. Yeah. Because you're doing it for the boys, man. I remember, dude, when I was in middle school, sixth grade, dude, I joined the band. That's just so funny that no one thought it was funny.

Yeah. And you were just crushed. Sorry to interrupt. No, that is funny is funny though Just looking around Just waiting for one person to be like Yeah And nothing They're all just like god damn it that deaf kid is so weird

Just the idea of never giving up though I'm so proud of myself for just like Running it you know Taking it on the chin But dude I would always like I joined the band in uh sixth grade middle school i joined the band and i played the trumpet that's a very funny kid like for a fat kid that's a great move oh yeah and my my best friend we both played the trumpet so we were always next to each other

and uh dude we had this huge holiday concert we had a dress up and everything, dude. And, dude, the whole school's there. Like, all the parents are there. And right in the middle of a song, dude, I just started playing random notes. Like, as loud as I could. He's playing, and he's so he's playing and he's he's so serious dude like

like all our families are watching us and i thought it was so funny dude i'm playing like c notes when there should be d notes like as loud as i can yeah all the flutes in front of us are like struggling from like arguably one of the funniest sounding instruments like a bugle yeah like wow that kid's really lost it's just it's also so it's like the common theme of you being the only one entertained that's the idea of playing a trumpet though, and just fucking up an entire concert. Yeah, just ruining everyone's time. Oh, yeah.

Everyone's taking pictures. Their families are there. The instructor's, like, taking it seriously. Yeah. Like, you've just put in months of work for this moment. Yeah. Some fat kid is just ruining it, dude. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my life, dude. I hope that there was one dad that just realized the glory of what he was witnessing. Yeah. He's blasted, too. Yeah, he's hammered. Fucking blast! He's like, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great thing to bat. i wish i had the balls to do stuff like that yeah i mean to tank everyone's special evening for the bit it's doing random shit man like in professional environments it's just so funny yeah especially something that you've spent so much time working towards like so much effort has gone into it yeah the build-up is the is what makes it sweeter it's the same thing as like being in the world series and just taking a shit on the mount it's like like this guy spent so much time oh my god his whole life yeah and not just his life his dad's mom's life just fulfilling a legacy every game and he's just like there is something it's mom's life. Yeah, he's fulfilling a legacy. Every game. And he's just like, there is something.

It's kind of the alcoholism thing, just throwing it all away for poop. It used to feel so good, man. Yeah. Yeah. But it gets a little sad. Yeah, it's not sad when you're young, though. No, when you're young, it's hilarious. When you're young, nothing's at stake.

Yeah. When you're older, it's kind of like, all right, man, let's grow up a little bit. Yeah. You know, like imagine being like a news reporter or something. Yeah. And you spent like 10 years trying to get on national TV and like the moment finally comes and you're on that, like you're on live TV, dude. And you just like start saying random shit in Latin.

Yeah. You know, and farting and stuff. Right. And everyone's like, wow wow this guy spent so much time and effort all for just one joke well they just think you'd have a mental illness which you would yeah you would uh yeah first time on national tv that would be so funny though like this is it especially before they're like making his debut like if you set it up like that yeah that's the suspense fuck i shit i saw something like that yeah the

nfl broadcaster was that what it was it was for like the denver broncos it was so fucking funny dude what he was on the sideline and they were like, making his NFL. I don't know if it was his debut. It was definitely his first time broadcasting. Uh-huh. And he was like, look at him. Look at him just soaking it in. I forgot what he said.

Oh, my God. I was crying laughing, dude. He was so nervous and didn't know what to say. Yeah. He was so nervous and didn't know what to say. Yeah. So, dude, if you go on YouTube and you just type in, like, funniest broadcasting moments, dude, I guarantee you'll cry laughing. Well, the one where the guy is, like, he's, like, describing, like, catching the ball, and there's, like, a pause, and then the other announcer's like, that was a little gay.

Yeah. That always gets me. Yeah. Oh, there was one that was uh it was a little gay yeah yeah that always gets me yeah what was it oh there was one that was super funny it was like this dude uh local news and he had to he had a broadcast about a uh a pig who lost its legs okay and in the middle of the the broadcast he just starts laughing his ass off right and he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry yeah those videos are so funny dude that's gonna be a good hour long rabbit hole yeah i can't do that stuff like that really just takes me out i i seriously i'll do it i'll be like one hour and then the next thing i know four hours and i'm not getting sleep and then the next day i'm depressed like i i have no self-control yeah i've been reading uh i've been reading a decent amount books around

dude what is what is that over there dofstoyevsky yeah man i can't understand that one what what is it um the brothers uh karamazov yeah i'm like 70 pages in i just can't understand it dude there's too many characters and like yeah it's also translated so i'm like what the fuck's going on yeah if i knew i'd read russian that'd be sick yeah that might be the other one is just um david goggins book like the new one but i think the first one's good the first one is it'll get you charged up and then you go for a run and be like people shouldn't make second books man yeah the first one was great man i couldn't put it down right now i'm reading the uh run in the light i have like 20 pages left so do you like reading it helps me sleep oh okay um like it puts you to sleep

it helps me before i go to bed i've been having some sleeping problems so i started reading again i actually got a Kindle dude. I got a Kindle man. So we'll see how that, I think I'm going to start reading on the subway. Oh yeah. Cause I'm always on the subway and I'm just like looking at my phone and scrolling.

Yeah. So I think if I just like read during that time, cause it's always like an hour into the city. If I can just read, that'll be good. Yeah. Yeah. Not to sound like a pretentious cunt, but I think it's very good for you.

Really? Like I just, I don't know. I feel like one thing I struggle with a lot is attention, and the more I read, the better I get at just being a little bit more attentive and present. Oh, like your attention span? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man.

I think with this whole podcasting thing, like sometimes you just run out of shit to talk about, and sometimes it helps with like creativity. Yeah, of course. And there's also something about reading, like when you hit like a relatable spot, like I've never heard like beautiful prose or like hitting a relatable thing. Just I've never thought about that that way, but that makes so much sense. It's a fun moment to have. I think with the Kindle too, if you don't know what a word means, you can just highlight it. Oh, yeah. And it's like, so a lot of that's going to take place. Makes it very easy. Almost every word I'm going to have i think with the kindle too if you don't know what a word means you can just highlight it oh yeah and it's like so a lot of that's gonna take place almost every word i'm gonna have to do that yeah right i'm like the what the fuck is this yeah but like yeah man

sometimes i feel like so retarded that i'm like damn you yeah you should probably read a little bit you know just a bit nothing crazy i think with me though man it's like i've noticed i actually enjoy fiction more than non-fiction yeah but i mean it's more enjoyable you're gonna i'm gonna learn more if i read but there's some fiction that's written like uh there's some non-fiction that's written like fiction that's really good oh yeah yeah there's a book called surprise kill vanish which is about like paramilitarism in the history of like the cia yeah and um that reads like a fucking spy novel really yeah well i was reading um fuck what's it called chaos oh was that good i mean i just started

reading it i mean a few months ago and i stopped it's so thick yeah it's a long book and it's like about charles manson and the whole beginning is basically just like a bunch of fucked up murders right and it's another one where I'm having trouble following the characters because there's so many fucking characters dude yeah you know what I mean yeah but yeah I heard it's pretty good though towards the end like you know it's like a lot of conspiracy about the CIA and stuff yeah I mean it shows all the weird things they have their hand in yeah but that's one of those things where it's like, if you listen to a podcast about it,

I feel like I retain more from that. Because fiction, the actual journey of it is typically very fulfilling. Yeah. But a lot of the times with nonfiction, I feel like I could have watched a YouTube video about this in 15 minutes. And actually, that's as much as I'm going to remember anyway.

Yeah, that's the, when you think about it as a whole, it's like you can learn as much from auditory learning as you can from reading. Yeah. Some even more. Yeah. I'm definitely more of like an auditory learner. Like I remember things easier. And then I think about it and I'm like, damn dude, like reading, it's just like someone just put this on a piece of paper, you know? The only thing it really helps with is like day-to-day stuff.

Yeah. If you have to actually like apply it, you know? I think it also helps to like maybe speaking. Yeah, I think so. Especially if you start writing. I think once you start reading more, you start writing more. Yeah. And not necessarily for comedy, but writing helps you become more articulate.

And reading helps you get more vocabulary. For me, I just hope it helps add, like, creativity to my retardation. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like, you can have, like, making fart jokes more creative and, like, shit like that, like dick jokes, instead of having, like, a very, like, layman term, dick joke. Right. Having a dick joke that's like dick jokes. Instead of having like a very like layman term dick joke, having a dick joke that's like, wow, that was, that's art, man.

That was spectacular. Yeah. Yeah. That makes me think of the Brothers Karamazov, that fart joke that he just did. Oh, yeah. All right, we'll wrap this up, man. Okay. Wow, dude, that was fun, man.

It was good to see you, i had a blast it's always fun man thanks for having me i do thanks for coming bro yeah yeah you're the most uh one of the most uh common guests bro hell yeah baby yeah man you got anything coming up or depending on when this comes out uh this wednesday february 28th is gonna come out by then? Well, either way, follow us on Instagram. Sophomore Slump Comedy on Instagram. I am PogOfWar on Instagram. And then I'm Ludwig Von Poop on Twitter, so you can

hit those two up. And yeah, it's always a pleasure. Subscribe to the motherfucking Patreon, babies. He needs to pay for his fucking Xbox. That's a reasonable request for how much joy he brings you. So yes.