The Johnny Salami Podcast - Joe Almeida

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Joe Almeida is a Dunkin Donuts Truck Driver, but more importantly a legend in our local community. You can find Joe riding his motorcycle around town, but not without a solid 10 on the back.

How we doing, Joe? Doing good, John. What's up? Yeah. I'm hanging in there, man. I know. I know you're nervous, dude, but we'll get through it, dude. Yeah, we'll get through it.

Two minutes in, man, we'll be fucking killing it. I'm telling you, bro. I know. Yeah. Did you take your bike here or no? Fuck no. No, dude. It was way too cold for that.

I didn't want to walk outside. I was like, should I bring a sweatshirt? I'm like, no, fuck that. Yeah. I mean, dude, I know we talked about this, but I saw you shredding that thing with a hottie on the back, dude. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I was fucking.

You think she's watching right now? Dude, I don't know. Maybe. We'll shout her out, dude. Dude, I was so proud of you, man. I can't even explain it, dude. I was driving by, dude. I might have been having a bad day, dude.

And I saw that, dude. I saw you rev the engine a little bit, dude. I is that my boy joe you know shit i don't even yeah it was it was good i was going for a ride fucking went to visit my boy arthur and there was um a couple of few few girls they were just usually i talked to arthur talk to them and whatever dude even the fact that you're talking to girls man like that's fucking impressive in my world you know what i mean but um so you're just like so you just showed up like showed up you were just like what up like you you hop off the bike dude i want to just see some hot chick on the back yeah they were in there and then they're like oh i want to ride a bike i was like i was like oh no you can't i'm like i know you can't ride my bike but i'm like you can go for

a ride and then they're like all right wait so the girl said like i want to ride it i think so but i don't know see that's the thing i'm like all right maybe go for a ride. And then they're like, all right. Wait, so the girl said, like, I want to ride your bike. I think so. But I don't know. See, that's the thing. I'm like, all right. Maybe she meant, like, on the back. But in my mind, I thought she meant, like, fucking take off in that thing. I'm like, no way she's going to take off in a fucking race bike. Like, no fucking shot.

Dude, that'd be hilarious, man. Would not, dude. You have a warranty on that thing? No, but. That'd be tough then, dude. I should get one if that was the case she just rips it through arthur's smoke shop dude literally through the smoke shop so was arthur like proud of you or was he kind of just like not fazed no he was uh i mean i don't know

he was like damn joe no he knows the girls too so like oh he would just it was just like a thing and it was weird because i think i gave all three there was three girls and i gave all three of them a ride and then it was just it was just like a free thing it was a free rides on the bike but i mean dude it was fun i was going for a ride anyways that's the dream man just like riding a bike with a girl on the back dude yeah dude i used to have a moped man and i would always ask girls and they'd just be like nah bullshit yeah dude because i was looking at high school i'm like all right this guy's got the only fucking moped i was looking i'm like i remember walking up to from tucker or something like i'm like damn who the fuck's got a moped

i'm like it must be a senior dude or a senior or something you know and then i'm so i'm like oh that's john's i'm like i got a fucking new moped i'm like what the fuck dude dude i was shredding it back in the day man but uh But, dude, I remember asking this one girl. I was like, yeah, like, you know, we should go, like, for a ride around the res one day. And she was like, yeah, one day. And, dude, I just, like, I kept asking her. Like, I didn't get the clue, man. And, like, one day she was just like, yeah, like, I just don't want to do it.

Dude. But I'm surprised, dude. I'm thinking, I'm like'm like dude if you look at supply and demand yeah you are the only supply of mopeds it's chs so i'm like all right anybody wants to go on a moped it's gonna go to john i'm like i'm like dude this guy's gotta be giving bitches left and right that's what i thought up and down fucking rides from to and from tucker like a taxi service dude zero to 30 in like 4 minutes, bro. That thing fucking...

But you said top speed was what, 40-45 on that? Probably like 33 going downhill. Yeah, dude, I used to fucking shred that thing, dude. But mentally, I was like, I think bitches are checking me out. But they were probably like, look at that fucking loser. Nah, dude, no. No fucking shot. Yeah, man, I ended up selling her. I they were probably like look at that fucking loser no dude no no fucking shot but yeah man i ended up selling her but you know i just felt like i was at that age where you know i'm either gonna upgrade yeah get like a fucking dukati start

fucking peeling out yeah and joanne fabric's fucking parking lots dude or just you know sell it yeah so i haven't upgraded yet but you thinking about it scared man you know i don't want to do it's not nothing to be scared about. It's like... I don't know, maybe crashing and dying, dude. Oh, dude, that's overrated. Dude, I... One guy I used to work with when I delivered pizzas, man, in college. You delivered pizzas for who?

Four Brothers Pizza in North Kingstown. Oh, shit, you went to URI, that's right. Yeah, but dude, there was one guy, he used to ride his bike to work, man, and he had a sick bike, dude. But he told me, like, the same day that, like, his buddy crashed when they were together. And he was just wicked casual about it. And his buddy, did he make it? Yeah, I think he had to go to the hospital, but I don't know, man, you know.

Yeah, I mean, everybody probably falls once yeah that's just but i mean you have the moped experience like um i was going like 20 dude yeah maybe dude even 20 like i saw i i had a bike and i was like i just kind of rushed into it i was like it was a green 650 it was like a sport but i wanted i didn't know i wanted a super sport so like which was like a little bit curved and like the engine sounds fucking meaner and like so i bought that and i was like fuck it was a great like city bike but i was like it had power like off the rip but it wasn't yeah man i don't know uh like any of the numbers i used to just make stuff up yeah i'm like yeah dude i got an r50z fuckstick in the shed, bro. Yeah. Guys would be like, wow, that's top notch, man.

Be like, fucking can I ride that shit, dude? Be like, bro, I got a pussy popper 350Z, baby. That's fucking out of work. But you said you had like a green, what is it called? A 650? Yeah. What does that mean? It's the size of the motor, so like.

Oh, really? Yeah, like you have 250s, which are like beginner bikes. I don't know. The moped is probably, what, 50cc to 25cc? Yeah. Something like that. It goes up 250, and then you get 600s and 1000s, which are Alita bikes. What would happen if I ripped one of those?

Dude, if you ripped it, it's fucking wheelie. If you can ride a wheelie. Just pop the clutch outside of a fucking Cumberland farm, dude. You have to do that thing where, like, just shoot from under your legs. It would probably still be going. Dude, what's that movie, Yes Man? Yeah. Where he drives a Ducati?

I haven't seen that one in a while. Yeah, but he's, like, blowing wheelies on a Ducati, man. Yeah, dude, alright. He's like an underwriter and he's just like yes to every single loan. Yeah. Okay, I remember that part. That was funny. Yeah, man.

You think you have to be more careful on the bigger ones? Is it kind of like a Tesla? A Tesla? You know how Teslas go like zero to 60 in like three fucking is it like a tesla a tesla like you know how like teslas go like zero to six seconds yeah yeah they're mad quickly they're faster than like they're fast but like yeah you just got to be like there's a thing though sometimes like you get like a moped and you like abuse the shit out of it you're like ah this ain't like doing nothing and that's where you kind of like mess up but um you definitely want to be careful but Yeah. Yeah, I took – My buddy got one of those electric bikes.

Have you heard of those? No. Yeah, there's, like, these new electric bikes, and they're, like – I think they go, like, anywhere from, like, 45 miles an hour to, like, 60. But they're – like, you can ride them on the street because they're, like, electric. Yeah. My buddy has a little bike, a 125 and dude he rode that shit on the highway it was like flooring it but like he can kind of keep up if we like yeah they

look like dirt bikes they're like um i forgot what they're called but do they look like dirt bikes but they're like electric yeah so it's like if you get pulled over like the cop can't be like what size engine is this you're like dude it dude, it's electric. Yeah. So, I wouldn't mind ripping one of those things, dude. And they're only like three or four grand. That's not bad. Yeah, my buddy sent me a video, dude. It was pretty cool, man. This guy had like jumps in his backyard and stuff, and they were just hitting it like, you know, fucking Travis Pastrana back in the day, dude.

I was like, that's fucking sick, dude. Shit. That's good for you, man. Like I said, dude, I was proud of you, man, when I saw that. Yeah, it was a fun time. Yeah, I miss seeing you at Dunkin', dude i was proud of you man when i saw that yeah it was it was fun time yeah i miss seeing you at duncan dude dude i i know i it was it was all right for the time but um i'm still at duncan just delivering now yeah you got that promotion dog yeah yeah i just fucking delivered driving throwing shit in there you still see this yeah dude i didn't know you were like that uh like back in high i didn't

know you were like that into uh like uh like bikes I didn't know you were like that into like bikes and. Yeah, I mean, I liked it. I always liked it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you always into that stuff? I never like talk about it that much, but I just was like, cool. You know, it's like low key shredding. Hopping on a fucking motor and just like go, you know, like get out again, a car, just

drive around. Yeah. Listen to music just to drive around. Like, yeah. But dude, I mean, you drive tractor trailers, though, dude. So like, yeah, people watching are probably like, like well i'd be fucking scared to drive one of those things man sometimes yeah in the beginning dude when you first hop in you're like oh shit this is a big fucking like thing like what the fuck's going on here like everything's like

you know you like what's like the training like for that are they just like pretty strict about it or they're like look man it's pretty laid back dude anybody can do it like you just sign up um you just fucking sign up and they start you off slow like yeah like you get in um i went to this it's called international so you go you pay like it's 5500 bucks you can pay like half and then 90 days pay the other half holy shit but um or you can do monthly payments but it ends up being like more but yeah so you just do everything's like first gear and first gear in those trucks is like not even one mile an hour so you like just get in there first gear you're like crawling in a parking lot you know just crawling um yeah you know it's just just even just getting in it and like releasing the brakes and shit you're just crawling um you know it's just just even just getting in it and like releasing the brakes and shit you just crawl in first gear everything you know so that way if you stop i have a fucking

couple funny stories i um one time i was like still new about this shit and i like hop in and i never drove like a manual so yeah they say it's better if you don't but like you had no you didn't know how to drive a stick when you started no not at all and they say it's better because i after like i i drive really good and i got my cousin's like um stick car and it was like yeah so different than the truck because it's like it feels like you're just moving your wrist like you're kind of moving your arm it's just like it's like a whole different animal holy shit man um like you don't have to use the clutch in those trucks you just kind of whatever and then in the car you kind of use a clutch but it's i don like, it's like a whole different animal. Holy shit, man. And, like, you don't have to use the clutch in those trucks. You just kind of, whatever.

And then in the car, you kind of use a clutch, but it's, I don't know. It's different. But, so anyways, I got in the truck, and it was like a straight back, because I was still on that, which is the first one. You just go straight and back between, like, two cones. Yeah. So I get in it. The way the parking lot's set up is there's a ditch it's like a flat it's a fucked up parking lot but there's like a in the back there's like it goes off into a ditch

like there's trees and shit yeah so i get to the end like we're supposed to stop right here i get to the end and i i just like get out the truck without setting the brakes and dude the thing starts fucking rolling back or something and i like get in the truck real quick and like pop the fucking brakes dude i almost shit myself because the trailer was about to go into the fucking ditch and like i would have been like i don't know what would have happened yeah you would have lost what 5500 if i would have been more than that yeah yeah because i don't even think you could get that trailer out you have to call like a crane to come pick that thing up i call the fucking coast guard dude dude yeah i would have been more than that yeah yeah because i don't even think you could get that trailer out you have to call like a crane to come pick that thing up i call the fucking coast guard

dude dude yeah i would have been done before i even started yeah i thought you were gonna say it actually went down there dude so was there anything in the back dude just fucking like a big ditch with rocks and well no like the trip was there anything in the trailer no it's empty like old trailer but still yeah does it feel Does it feel lighter? Oh, yeah. When you're like empty and when you got weight on it. Yeah. Yeah. So like definitely.

Yeah. But you can only really tell when you get on it, like more on the highway. So if you're going on the highway is when you can tell the difference. Like if you're empty, you can like go a little bit faster. But like you said zero to 40 in your moped in what 20 seconds or something realistically probably like i don't know maybe uh 12 seconds oh okay all right well this thing's like 40 to 65 in like a minute dude like trying to fucking just you're just flooring it and it's just you know fucking but it's

you said it was like a fucking log though dude like when you're shifting like you're just flooring it, and it's just, you know, fucking... But it's... You said it was like a fucking log, though, dude. Like, when you're shifting, like, you're just like... You're on Noah's Ark, like... Yeah, I mean, it's big. Directed traffic. It makes sense to me when you're shifting, but, like... Because it's just big. It's just...

But, um... It's not bad. It's easy. Anybody can do it. And... There's, like, a shitload of jobs. My mom ordered picnic tables once from lowe's yeah and they were like yeah we have the tables but we have no one to like drive them to your house so

my mom was just like i'll just drive the trailer they were like all right because you just drove the trailer here yeah what is it like um how about one of those big ass fucking lowe's uh tractor trailers and they just put the picnic tables in the back. A Lowe's tractor trailer? Yeah. Fucking like 48 feet or like. It was big. It was a big hog, dude.

Oh, shit. Did she hop in like a tractor or did she like towed in like a pickup truck or something? Dude, she literally took one of like the fucking big ass like 40 footers. Tractor trailer. She hopped in that shit. Damn. Did she have a thing? Where she fucking knows how to drive stick.

Yeah. So, this was, like, dude, this was, like, 12 years ago. I know, but still, I'm surprised. Jesus. She could have just made it up, dude. Yeah. You know? She could have just been, like, bullshitting with me.

Like, back in the day, I heard the tests were, like, so easy. You just show up, and, like, they don't even watch you take the test. They just, like, give you your license back in the day from the older guys I hear. Dude, that's what they say about the motorcycle test. I was thinking about going to one of those, dude. But, dude, I fucking, I hopped on a quad once with Joey Barrientos down the road. And it was, like, my neighbor's quad. He has, like, trails in the back. Dude I'd never

been on a quad before and they were like, Joey was like teaching me how to shift and he was just like dude just shift up like with your foot and I just kept shifting up dude and we hadn't even moved yet. So when I fucking dude I like popped the clutch and then

dude we drove right into a tree and I just kept my hand on the throttle. So we were riding up a tree. Joey was in the back, or was he on his own quad? Oh, he was in the back. He was holding on to me. Yo. Dude, it happened.

So fucking fast, dude. And the quad was about to fall on Joey, and I fucking leg pressed it off him. Dude, he was, like, laughing about it, dude. But, yeah, man, I didn't hop on a quad after that, bro. Especially taking turns in those things, bro. Dude, that's tough, man. Like, when you see people on, like polaris quads and they're they're like shifting their hips dude like fucking ripping their pelvis off the bone dude yeah oh that's

tough man taking those sharp turns bro yeah i just i would just slow down like take like a complete stop and then just go again you know what i'm saying yeah i don't know man that's crazy though i've been on a quad and i've most like, put that thing in a fucking ditch once. Like, I just kept, like, giving it gas and, like, spinning and turning it and almost put it in a ditch. I'm like, all right, maybe we slowed the fuck down. We didn't get the insurance on these things, dude. Like, fuck that. Yeah, dude, we were playing a game.

We're like, well, do you know Cooper? Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, man. Me, Joey, and Cooper used to hang out back in the day. And we were playing a game in his backyard like with his whole family and you would like you would hop on the quad with someone and you try to drive across the yard without getting shot in the face with a paintball so people were like lined up on the deck with a fucking like with paintball guns and cooper's dad was like teaching me how to use

a paintball gun and he was like he was like all right listen like first rule like he was like don't point the gun at anyone and like the first thing i did was point the gun at him he had his dad he was like, all right, man. I'm like. Dude, I hit him right in his face. Dude. Wow, man.

He just goes, all right, dude. You obviously don't know how to fucking listen. And then. Then he goes, he's like alright we're gonna let you shoot I'm like Jesus so even after you had it

at his face he's like you know what dude this kid give him a shot he can shoot we threw some paintballs in it dude

I tried hitting like everyone on the court dude I just remember like being so zoned in dude and dude

I fucking shot up his shit dude I fucking missed how many fucking being so zoned in, dude. And, dude, I fucking shot up his shit, dude. I fucking missed. How many fucking paintballs come in that thing? I don't know, man. I think you can probably throw a whole bag in there, dude. I felt like fucking American Sniper, though, dude. How many is a whole bag?

I never did paintball. I mean, I wanted to, but I never tried it. Dude, maybe, like, well, it's not liquid, but, like, I would say, like, maybe, like, the size of, like, a gallon water bottle, just paintballs, though. So, like, what do you get, like, 50, 50 dirty shots? Yeah, I guess it depends what you buy. But, dude, I fucking shot up his shed, dude, just missed everyone completely. And I was like, yeah, man, like, I'm good with this. Like, I'll just watch.

Have you ever been paint? You've never been? No, I've never been. Almost, but i never made it yeah man it's better if you just don't go it's fucking tough man used to have one next to mcdonald's and uh on route one dude next to mcdonald's they had this fucking setup it was like in a house what the fuck dude i went with cooper there once joey and like a bunch of buddies like when we were younger and like our first game dude this 50 year old guy like ran over to us and just started lighting up our friend joe dude joey no

it was uh joe marcolini he just starts shooting at him like the game hasn't even started yet and he's screaming surrender and he's got two of his little kids next to him and we're like dude what the fuck is going on joe was like dude the game hasn't started yet and like one of the officials had to like run over and be like dude you're fucking coked out like what are you doing that's great he just unloaded it onto this dude he just kept he screamed surrender first yeah so we thought it was like so the dude shooting scream like yeah we thought he was high or something yeah but. But once he started shooting, we were like, all right, man. Dude, Cooper got shot in the neck that day. I got my fucking nail shot off. Oh, dude.

There was like professionals there, man. Dude. Dude, one time, like me and Cooper, we were turning a corner. And we were like, all right, dude, we're just going to break forward and start blind firing. Dude, so we open up the door, start playing fighting games. Dude, it was the bathroom. Oh, my. We shot up the fucking bathroom, dude.

Jesus Christ. I just remember being like, dude, I think we fucked some people up. Were people using the fucking bathroom? No, it was just an empty bathroom. I was going to say, dude, that would have been real fucking bad. Just like using it. Some dude just taking a shit. Fucking surrender.

Yeah, we weren't even looking. No, dude. Just fucking popping off caps, dude, with our eyes closed. Damn. Yeah. just fucking popping off caps dude with their eyes closed damn yeah but dude you said you're on the road like fucking what four days dude yeah yeah we do four four long days uh sometimes you want to do five five you do uh five you get overtime but it's like you're out a little bit dude like yeah you're out there like at least 12 to 14 hours ish you just fucking

you drive to I don't know we go up to Connecticut and Mass yeah sometimes Boston fucking we just back into

Dunkin's or drive around or whatever oh these are like so you're literally just delivering like supplies to Dunkin's yeah so like we got

there's like 48 footers we got a freezer so they got eggs hash browns whatever the hell kind of sandwich. Cool. You got cream milks, fucking orange juices, cheeses and shit.

And then we got cups, lids, sugar and all that shit in the back. Yeah. We just deliver that shit. Fucking, you know, die trying. Yeah. Fucking drive through. Well, dude, they're like, dude, you might like when you get tired on the road, don't you have to pull over? Yeah.

Yeah, I just usually fight through it. But, yeah, you just pull over. You know, sometimes it is at the end of the day or, like, you're fucking, like, tired. You're fucking, you know, one eye's open. You just kind of, like, close both eyes for a little bit and just keep driving. Dude, that's the stuff that scares me, though. No, no, yeah. I'm usually good.

We're good. But, yeah, you can pull over. Tomorrow you just fall asleep, though. No, no, yeah. I'm usually good. We're good. But, yeah, you can pull over. Tomorrow you just fall asleep, dude, on the job. Yeah. I've seen a couple guys rolled over or something, you know, fucking had to be falling asleep. Really? Yeah, you see, like, the fucking shit up and fucking smokes. Like, whatever the fuck's in the trailer, outside of the trailer, like, lit up.

Holy shit. Yeah, I've seen that a couple times, but. Dude, how long is your break during the day um whatever you want it to be wait so you just have to make sure you make all the deliveries yeah you make sure you make the deliveries and um like if i see like like uh like a chipotle or like chick-fil-a dude i just you must be pissed though when you're pulling those uh parking lots uh chick-fil-a or duncans so do you do you pull around back, regardless of where you go? It depends wherever it can fit.

Sometimes, a lot of times, it'll only fit in, like, one spot. So, like, we try to get it closest to the door so we don't got to walk too much. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, you get, like, 12 stops, you know, 12 Dunkin's you're delivering to. Yeah. What about that thing in the back, the jack? Do you have a jack so like oh yeah you have pallets and you have to like put her in there yeah so the freezer and the cooler you can't really

there's nothing palletized you got to toss it out the side but in the back there's a lift gate and it like uh it's on the trailer and it comes out and extends so there's a pallet jack you pull out the dry pallet you know with cups lid sugar you bring it down and you wheel it to the door and you just, you unload it like that. But, but yeah, I'd be even scared to do that shit, man.

Oh dude. Yeah. Like the first time I did it, I wasn't automatic, right? Yeah. It's a, well,

no, no, no. Our pallet jack, we pull it. We have some electric ones, but they're like, that's usually for like kitchen guys are like,

we don't, we, we get the the fucking the pull ones but yeah you uh sometimes we got a lot of new guys so they don't build the pallets too good oh they're like shifting yeah oh that's tough man usually the helper has to deal with that shit so yeah man dude that's tough people people a lot of people fell off that shit but you just got to be careful go slow and you'll be fine it's tough when they lot of people fell off that shit. You just got to be careful. Go slow and you'll be fine. It's tough when they don't stack them right, dude.

I remember when I was younger, I worked at Market Basket, dude. Yeah. My mom's a manager there. Dude, somebody like, I was like 15, dude. And they told me to drag a pallet all the way across the store. Like, jack it up and drag it. And whoever stacked it didn't stack it well. And you have like my mentality where like i'm like stupid dude dude i knocked down like an entire fucking aisle dude like one of those like you know how they set up like discounts yeah like the discounted

like um like mountains of like product dude i took out like an entire thing of that dude and then like i didn't know what to do and they were like yeah you got to go up front to the mic and like let them know what's going down so i was like yeah like fucking aisle three is like completely down damn was it at least wrapped a little bit what shrink wrap you know what i'm saying yeah it was wrapped the shrink wrap but dude it was it was so bad yeah it was shifting and stuff and i wasn't really paying attention so when i hit it like all the stuff came off yeah they got some weight on those things you can pull like 5 000 pounds on those things so yeah fuck that it'll fuck it up yeah man that's fucking sick though yeah you got

fucking hills too sometimes like pottles trying to bring it up but usually we'll go with helpers so it'll be good. But, um. You're on the road, like, completely by yourself, though, dude. Yeah, no, we got a helper, though. So, like, I got another person to help me unload the truck. Is he, like, with you in the truck? Yeah, he's with me in the truck. Is he cool?

Sometimes, sometimes. Usually they're pretty good. Usually they're pretty good. Oh, so it switches off? Yeah, we, like, switch off. I was thinking, like, it was, like, you're, like, a police. Permanent. Yeah, you're, like, a police partner yeah right he calls out i show up at his house fucking start honking like get the fuck in the truck but um we're going to fucking dunk

going to fucking boston don't fuck me you motherfucker so dude it's just depending on the day dude you could have like a psychopath yeah you could have a psychopath. Thankfully, we don't have, like, really too many of those. You're just striking up, like, random conversation? Oh, yeah. You just fucking, like, talk it up, you know? Or, like, usually in the morning, they'll just sleep. You know, I don't blame them. I would sleep, too.

It's fucking, we get there 2 o'clock in the morning. So, drive to the first store, they sleep. And they will go by, you know, and just, you know, shoot the shit. Yeah. Fucking have some laugh throwing shit out the truck. It's tough shooting the shit with guys, though, who are mature. Oh, no, no, no. We're all pretty mature.

I'm a younger driver, but I get along with pretty much anybody, 40, 50, whatever, fucking 60. It's tough, man. There's only a couple guys who are like just lazy like lazy i'm like fuck you in for a long day that's the worst man yeah yeah they're usually like they probably end up quitting though right you think oh no dude no no damn they've been there for like years uh like they're just like yeah dude i got full time now they'll tell other guys like yeah i got full time now. They'll tell other guys, yeah, I got full time now. I don't give a fuck. I'm just like, dude, you're just making long fucking days.

I'm like, fuck that. Yeah, what happens if you finish early? You just go home? Yeah, if you want to finish early, you can go home or you can take a break. It's all up to you if you finish. As long as the shit's done, you can either go home or take more breaks. You just chill. I don't know. know yeah i try not to finish early i'll bring it back i won't ever bring it back early because they kind of like the way the times are they kind of choke it up a little bit so because they don't want you getting there like too early

so they have like an hour window so if you get there too early they want you to you can't punch it in or some shit so damn dude but it's not it's not bad dude when you worked at duncan what did you think of like the actual products like it's just poison i mean like well you just know what it is like the swirls you get it's all like it's not like the best food for you know what i mean it's not like oh yeah it's fucking terrible but yeah is it like legitimately like is it as advertised yeah it is but um the thing that i was like damn like the swirls like that's all like i looked at it and it was like it's just high fructose corn syrup but like coke's got that you know what i

mean so yeah it's like it's it's good you know what i'm saying it's dude what i've been getting is the charlie cold foams dude is that just iced coffee with foam on the top, pretty much? Pretty much, yeah. That's good. I've been drinking those. Yeah. That's good. So it's basically just... The Charlie's,

the caramel one. So they got caramel, coffee, and they just... It's literally just whipped cream. That foam, it's fucking ready whipped cream. So they just throw

that ready whipped cream and then... Fucking do it, man. Yeah, that's it. Fuck. But they're on sale right now so i get one like almost every day man yeah they're gonna stop going they're they're good dude i like tried fucking going without it yeah just had like regular coffee from the house man

i feel like i dropped like five pounds yeah yeah yeah no because that whipped cream is fucking heavy shit that's like that's like the only reason i get it i know it's not even the whipped cream it's like the uh the sprinkles on top dude oh that's um some kind of cinnamon that's like that's like the only reason i get it i know it's not even the whipped cream it's like the uh the sprinkles on top dude oh that's um some kind of cinnamon that's just cinnamon but um it's like nothing special yeah you can make that dude you can make that at home i'm dead i just fucking a little bit of whipped cream and you just some cinnamon put a fucking lot of whipped cream on that dude i don't know whipped cream is not even that bad man honestly it is so light if you get like uh it's light but like it's light, but, like, it's, like, heavy. Like, I think just, like...

Yeah, that way whipped cream is. Probably. Even all of them, though. They're, like, empty calories. Like, 30-something calories for, like, a little teaspoon, I think. It's, like, should add up. Yeah, man. Just call...

These are just calories I don't need, dude. Yeah. What you want. Yeah, man. I've always wondered, like, if, like, behind the scenes they were doing some sketchy shit, though. Who? Duncan? No, I mean, well, it all depends on always wondered, like, if, like, behind the scenes they were doing some sketchy shit, though. Who, Duncan? No, I mean, well, it all depends on the store, I guess.

Like, some stores, you know, the manager's not there. Don't give a fuck. They just let him fucking run wild and, like, and shit like that. Dude, did you ever, like, when you were taking an order from someone, if they were, like, being a dick, would you, like, take a dump in their coffee or something? Oh, yeah, never, never. I thought about it. I thought, I'm like, yo, what the fuck? I'm like, this guy's really, like, busting my balls right here and i'm making this coffee or

something but like no i can never do that shit yeah like dude it's night or day man i'll just be like what the fuck i was like all right whatever i don't gotta go home with these guys i'll just like give them that fucking shit and that's it yeah you go hopefully just go the fuck home dude it's either night or day though with the employees man like i feel like when i go they're either like wicked nice they're like what the fuck do you want like jesus man yeah yeah it's either night or day, though, with the employees, man. Like, I feel like when I go, they're either, like, wicked nice. They're like, what the fuck do you want? Like, Jesus, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's rough.

I mean, well, what time you go? The mornings? Usually in the morning. Sometimes I go at night, man. Okay. You know, if I'm driving around, dude. Yeah. Listen to some Avril Lavigne, dude.

I'll roll up a dunk and do it. I used to see you there all the time at night, dude. Yeah, I know. That's what I would do. I would just close. Yeah. I would close and then, dude. I used to see you there all the time at night, dude. Yeah, I know. That's what I would do. I would just close. Yeah. I would close, and then, yeah, I would just fucking close. I spent a lot of time there.

So you have, like, three days off, though, right? Yeah, so, yeah, usually, like, right now in the summertime, I'll probably be working more fifth days, so I'll have two days off, but it's usually, we don't work Sundays, so that's, we got Sundays off, and then two days during the week. Yeah. So mine's like. What do you usually got Sundays off and then two days during the week so mine's like what do you usually do during those days the days during the

just chill work out yeah catch up with my boys fucking like yes this week

we went to me Dave and Will Keough fucking went to New York my boy Will's got three he's got two 3000 GTs

of this car. Really? He went to go pick up a third one in New York. So we took a road trip down there. Yeah, my boy Will, dude, used to think I was an alien, dude. Back in eighth grade. An alien? Yeah, he used to ask me all the time.

He'd be like, dude, are you from this planet? I'd be like, nah, dude. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, he did go to school with you. You, Arthur, I think, Went to the same school Something like that Arthur Lima No I went to McCourt Oh fuck

But yeah But yeah no So we went down there Fucking date All we did was drive down And pick up the car But we stopped at two good restaurants And it was

It was a good time You a big Patriots guy dude? A little bit You know I like the shirt Fits good Got it on sale It's looking tight dude yeah i know it's not a bad way medium medium yeah dude i was thinking about going back to that

but i think i'm just gonna stick with eyes odd man dude yeah yeah you were telling me about those what's going on with those eyes odds did you did you grab any i don't i did not i did not grab any dude you gotta place that order man i gotta i gotta figure it out i gotta figure on sale right now are they as dude are they as advertised yeah dude so they fucking you said something about a flex fit collar here what's going on with that dude it's flex fit like in general bro not even just the collar man shit bro i could fucking overhead press right now with a fucking raging hard on with that eyes out right there yeah shit not even fucking bad nine dude you know what i'm saying that's great bro i think they're on sale right now. JCPenney.

I was there the other day. I might go today, man. Grab some more. I think I have, like, almost every color, dude. Damn. I'm telling you, dude. Roll up. Dude, just buy a big and tall one.

Just, like, a nice baggy one, dude. Roll up to the gym, dude. Start doing fucking heavy curls, bro. Yeah. Dude. Never look back. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you think about the Patriots, though, dude? Dude, I mean, this year they got a few good tight ends. They got a couple good tight ends. They got... Yeah, I know you, Dave, and, like, Jeremiah are, like, hardcore Patriots guys, so... I'm, like, hard... Jeremiah's real fucking hardcore, dude. What do you guys like behind the scenes?

Do you just, like, throw, like, hard-boiled eggs at each other in the basement? Like, what's going on? You guys definitely have, like, your own fantasy league and shit, right? Yeah, they did. I didn't join last year because of COVID and shit. But, yeah, I was doing fantasy. Dude, I know. But I was, like, because I usually worked Sundays before.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So I was working Sundays. Yeah, I was working on Sundays this year, too, man. But it was a great year to work Sundays, man. When? Oh, last year. This year, you didn't miss anything. This year, I didn't miss anything.

Like, I didn't want to see that, dude. Yeah, that was a little rough. You a big fantasy guy, though, in general? Not as much. I used to be, and then I'm like, all right, dude, any given thing can happen. This and that. I'm like, fuck that. Dude, I fucking love fantasy, man.

Yeah? I like fantasy. Like, I like playing because it gets me more involved with, like, other teams and stuff. Yeah. I just hate, like, the, like, if I was a player, dude, I'd fucking hate people who play fantasy. So, like, if I'm ever around a professional player, I'm just going to be like, fuck fantasy, dude. It's bullshit, man. Yeah.

You know? Like, imagine that, dude, being a professional football player. Some guy's like, dude, what the fuck were you doing last week, bro? And you're like, dude, shut the fuck up, man. Well, right before the game, he's like, I need 25 points, Steve. 25 points. Dude, I've won the league before, dude. So it's like, you know.

Dude, that's another thing. I fucking, I get the best record, right? Regular season. And anything can happen in those playoffs. Yeah. Like, dude, I undefeated all the way up into the fucking playoffs. And then I just lose. Like the fucking.

It's tough, man. 20 fucking something, 18 pads. I'm like, what the fuck? Is it because you're like good players at bench? I don don't know dude because like here's the thing it's like towards the towards the end like weeks fucking 14 to 16 yeah you're good players yeah they get benched and like you're looking at like all these teams that in the bubble like have to fucking you know outperform so they get benched and now you're like kind of like you got to rest in guys they're like all right you know we'll just play these guys for one half.

And then, yeah, so I'm, like, dude, it's, like, a whole other, like, beast in the end that you got to, like, it's, like, you got to draft another team for the end of the season, you know. Yeah, dude, I used to call my team the Waver Wires, dude. Yeah. I would just play Waver Wire guys. Yeah. I made the playoffs one year, but the year I won, dude, I had, like, Todd girley yeah when he was he went on one year and then 50 points dude yeah a week then a couple

years after that you just kind of dude i feel like you only need like a few good players man they're like dude if you have like pat mahomes like derrick henry and like somebody else dude you could fucking win just like that man yeah running backs running backs are hard to hard to guess so you get a good running back yeah i think that was my strategy but um you still yeah wait you you definitely make it on the waiver wires and like i was like working i'm like dude i'm not checking out who's playing what's going on and oh yeah by the time i put in for the waiver wire i'm like already fucking the guy's gone i'm like fuck that yeah dude this year i didn't really like look into it but back in the day i would just be at work just like looking at who i can grab

and stuff. Yeah. Dude, I would spend a lot of time doing that, too. And then I was, like... I feel like it's always who wins, too, dude. It's, like, the people who, like, have the time to just, like, look into shit. And then I'd be, like, fuck that. So, I'd be doing other things, this and that.

Yeah. Working. I'm, like, all right, here we go. I feel you, dog. I just got into it. Fuck that. I'd rather... Then I was doing sports betting for a while, like, before Twin River.

There was, like... Then I was doing sports betting for a while. Like before Twin River, there was like, we had a bookie at work. And we just, you know, it's this online website. We give money, whatever. I was doing that. Fucking, I was doing real good. But overall, probably lost a little bit more than fucking I made. How does that work? Like sports betting?

So like, it's just, do you have, you've been to Twin River or no? With the new sports betting? Unfortunately, I've been once. Okay, so, like. I went to watch a fight. Yeah. So, they fucking, so there's, like, I guess there's, like, an upstairs lounge where you just, there's, like, everything. You know, hockey, fucking basketball, football, soccer, whatever.

Yeah. Based on who's playing, you just, you look at it. They got spreads. They got futures. They got, oh, dude, this, you can bet on pretty much anything but um now i guess there's an app you download the app sportsbook and you just sign up yeah and you can just like literally go on like oh all right celtics this fucking you know minus four take that so like if you have like a series of uh things you're betting on like you have to win every single game right oh yeah Oh, yeah, like a parlay.

So, yeah, you can either do a straight bet. So, say you just want to take Celtics minus four. You know, you double your money on that. Either you win or you double it. Or, yeah, if you do, like, if you want to bet on Celtics, Knicks, fucking Lakers, Rockets, and you put them in a big parlay,

you multiply more. So, say you can bet 20 to win, like, I don't know, let's say like 300 off 20 bucks, but all four of those have to hit. Or you could do straight, like separate, but you'd only be doubling. Yeah. So it's tough.

Parlays are more like riskier, but the other thing too in sports betting is right when you think there's like a sure thing, like, oh, dude, there's a sure thing. So you hammer the shit out of it, like nothing's guaranteed in sports, nothing. Dude, they probably have like, they probably have all the stats in front of them, dude. Yeah, so that's why.

You know, like, the chances of you actually making it. Yeah, so they're definitely favored towards a casino and stuff. But, like, if you know a little bit, like, you can kind of make it. But it's still a risk. It's still a risk. But it's. Yeah, that must be intense, dude. I just don't want to get into it, dude.

Yeah. Because I know I'll be like. Yeah, dude, yeah. I'll just throw my entire bank account on it. i know a couple people at my work they had an old job and they were like fucking trying to pay their rent they were doing all that all that they were like paying way too much like money they didn't even have yet they were betting it and like dude that's yeah man i feel like everybody talks shit about it like they'll be like dude we should go hit the casino man like throw down some money i'm like nah man i'm good yeah I'm good. And they're like, what are you, a pussy?

I'm like, no, I just don't want to lose all my fucking money. Yeah, you can lose it. And then I watch them lose all their money and just go to shit. I'm like, I mean, dude, I fucking told you, man. Yeah. Dude, we used to have a fucking substitute teacher at Cumberland High School, man. Which one? I forgot his fucking name, dude.

It was a dude? It was a dude, man. And he one day just told us how his fucking name, dude. It was a dude? It was a dude, man. And he, like, one day just told us, like, how his life went to shit. He always had a nice car, dude. I think he was sleeping in his car. I don't see, dude. But, yeah, man, he was like, yeah, I just got into gambling when I was younger, and I lost all my money. And, like, as he said that, dude, like, some Portuguese kid in the front fucking row, dude, just screamed penis as loud as he could.

And this guy just kept a straight face and like he just kept yelling penis like the portuguese kid was like all right if he's not gonna say anything like i'm just gonna keep yelling penis yeah i swear to god dude he yelled it like five times and then like dude one of the girls like started crying like dude it was fucking terrible but like yeah the guy was like yeah like he was like yeah like i've literally ruined my life doing it and the portuguese kid was like i'm gonna scream penis right now too but like shit like that dude like yeah yeah you can do it you can definitely do it i don't know man i don't want to be like one of those kids who's like fucking smoking mabo res kid fucking you know it's not a bad life no i'm just kidding but fucking um not like so instead of

that i i turned into i do um like investing now so you can just there's this apps called you probably heard of robin hood yeah it's robin hood there's stash i use stash but um so it's like a little safer like at least like now instead of like like doubling or like you know doubling your money or losing all your money there's like you put it there and it's like it's still there it just goes up and down kind of thing so you're buying shares instead of like um like you know just one particular outcome like you're just buying shares and it goes up and down and i was just doing that because it's safer it's just like you know i mean like fucking especially with covid like all this shit like the fucking cruise lines and airlines like because nobody was flying and going on cruises they all

went down so they were going for like they were like tanked real low so it was a good time to buy you just get buying dude i can see you over like in a fucking room like with like computer monitors just like day trading dude you just like take a break dude go peel out and fucking fucking lot there was a guy dude there was a guy somebody told me he um he's on his phone all day like on the stocks and he like within like i don't know like a few years or something he like paid off his fucking house just on those stocks yeah the chances of you day trading and being successful are like one percent yeah i don't i don't day trade but it's usually like a long run i'll just fucking hold on to it plus with stash i don't think it's, like, a day trading.

Like, they, like, hold it for X amount of business days, and they give it to you for the lower price or, like, whatever. But you need, like, day trading is, like, crazy. I don't do that shit. You can do it because, dude, like, here's the thing. Like, Bitcoin, like, whatever is, like, volatile, like, every day it goes up and down. So, like, Bitcoin was fluctuating from, like, I don like i don't know it's like 58 grand a fucking coin it'll go down to like 50 you know but bitcoin's not even like actual investing like you have to mine you have to mine for bitcoin

yeah i don't know too much about it but like if you buy so like so you buy it at 58 i mean so you buy it at 50 and it goes up to 58 you sell it you know what i mean and then you fucking then when you wait for it to go back down you buy it at it low and then you sell it you know what i mean and then you fucking then when you wait for it to go back down you buy it at it low and then you sell it again when it's high like it's just basically shit like that but so it's like a thing but i i don't have the platform for that right now it's like it's like fuck that because you did robin hood yeah i should but that's good though man it's it's like it's like safe because dude you can leave your money in I should, but. That's good though, man. It's like, it's like safe, because dude,

you can leave your money in the bank, but like nothing, nothing's gonna, you're just leaving the bank, and you don't, like they don't give you shit for it. They give you like five cents, so like,

even if I make like five dollars, on the fucking Stash app, I'd rather just do that. Yeah, you're better off investing, dude. Make like five cents on the fucking bank, like.

Just buy and hold, man, you know. Buy and hold, that's it. That's all it is, baby. That off investing, dude. Make like five cents on the fucking bank. Just buy and hold, man. You know? Buy and hold, that's it. That's all it is, baby. That's it, dude. Making bank, dude. All right, brother.

Well, Joe, this was fun, man. I know, John. I hope you're not fucking... I felt like two minutes in, dude. You were... Oh, yeah, yeah, dude. You broke the sweat, dude. Yeah, yeah.

I was good. That was a good time. Yeah, dude. I mean, dude, you're going to be handed down for generations now, dude. Dude, this is it. You know? This is it right here. When we're like 45, dude, like sports betting and stuff, dude, we're just going to look

back on this and be like, dude, what could have been, man? Fuck off, man. I appreciate you for coming, though, dude. Thanks for having me, John. I had a good time, man. I appreciate it.