The Johnny Salami Podcast - Mason

Episode Date: November 21, 2021

Mason by The Johnny Salami Podcast

What's going on everybody? Welcome to a new episode of the Johnny Salami podcast. Today, we have a good friend of mine here, Mason Raposa. I thought you pronounced your last name right? Yes. Dude, so I know, thanks for coming man, I appreciate you coming all the way here dude. Dude, so... Thanks for having me. There you go.

Dude, that was fucking easy, right? Yeah. Yeah dude, we're fucking crushing it. We're killing it already. If you're nervous, it's fine, you just gotta be up front with it you know what do i have to say to some nervous start yelling dude start screaming brought back memories like it's like dude when i first started with the first episode we filmed yeah with my best friend ever dude 30 minutes in dude i was like dude we just we can't do this

i was so paranoid dude i was so nervous like there was still 30 minutes in i was like freaking out i'm like i don't know man like i don't but then we look back on it we're like dude we crushed it like dude we're talking about jerking off like golden stuff yeah but i was just so in my head like nervous i was like dude i just can't do it, you know? I feel that. But I don't feel it anymore, though. I kind of wish, you know, I wish I did. You wish you did what? I wish I could feel.

Feel anything? What would a... I mean, I've been thinking about that a lot, though, dude. Like, I don't know what would throw me off, you know? It was probably just a stage fright, but you didn't even have any. No, I'm just talking about like everyday life like something dude something crazy would have to happen to like for me to be like whoa like start feeling shit again yeah just to be like surprised yeah because like nothing really like surprises me anymore yeah i feel that

yeah i don't know if i told you i don't know if i'm the only one who feels that way though you know no no you're not because like i had a dude um it was like i don't know if I told you I'm the only one who feels that way though. No, no, you're not cuz like I had a dude It was like I don't know if it did I tell you the story about the old man in the bank No, or the place I work at. Yeah, dude guy just comes in He's 91. I'm not gonna say any his name, but I'll just say John. His name is John Yeah, and he just came in and he's usually a regular. All of a sudden, the guy's like, I need $20,000. And I'm like, you never had $20,000.

So I'm sitting with him. And all of a sudden, he just stopped breathing. And I'm like, dude, what's going on? And yeah. I wasn't even fazed. I was like, wow. He died? died no he didn't die he like woke up eventually what but he was like fall asleep or was he just like no he was i don't know so all right so we're just sitting he's just sitting down and all of a sudden he just felt like melting like in the chair so like we had to call an ambulance all this and like he finally woke up and then he's

like oh free ride so he's all excited but like i wasn't even like holy shit like oh you didn't even you weren't phased at all i wasn't even phased well i worked with old people like my entire life like my first job was in a nursing home so like i always i always saw saw old people die, dude. I'm fucking everything up. I thought you were going to say he died. I was going to be like, dude. Dude, I thought he died. Because we touched him and everything.

We're like, we touched him. We're like, is this man hard right now? Like touching his ass and stuff. Feeling for the shit nothing was there do man because that's what they say that's what they teach you in school grab the ass first yeah they used to tell me to uh i started laughing we did cpr because the first uh the first step was to uh check the scene and then yell i've checked the scene so i like looked around and i was like i've checked the scene. So I looked around and I was like, I've checked the scene.

You know what I mean? This dude's up here like, I'm fucking dying. I'm fucking bleeding out. I haven't done CPR training in so long. Well, dude, in banks, you see crazy shit. Yeah. We see a lot of weird people. When I worked in the bank, dude, this lady came in once and she just,

she walked up to the counter just stared at everyone and then she was like ah shit i thought this was mcdonald's and then she just left like dude i had to go in the back room and like think about what just happened there was a mcdonald's right next door yeah but it took her like a while she's just staring at the wall imagine if you were a teller and she was like yeah can i get a uh a mcdouble would you go with you i would be like one i'd probably go with it i'd be like i would take one moment man i would go i'd be like yeah i'll be right back i'd fucking peel out in the parking lot dude fucking blast fucking shakira dude shakira like y'all fuck this

shit dude i met some weird people in in the banking industry since i started and i never thought i would dude like i thought it'd be like a normal thing first woman i met had about four driver's licenses and uh she was the first crazy woman I met. Let's say her, let's say her name is, uh, yeah, give it a good name though.

Diane. Diane. Sounds like a crazy name. Yeah. That's like a, that's an older name. Diane. Well,

she was older, but she said she's Diana. Diarrhea. Diana. Yeah. But she said she was going to live forever. And I was like, that's great. And I would like go with it because I'm like, I'm new, forever and i was like that's great and i would like go with it because i'm like i'm new but like i like that stuff so i like anyone that sounds

weird and i asked for her id and she's been banking with us and when you pull up the information it shows their last id on file and she had one from like i'm not gonna say the state i'll just say like texas random state and the one that she had on file let's say was washington i was like hey do you have a washington driver's license on on you because this one's still showing that you had it like a month ago thinking like identity fraud or anything she goes i do have a lot of ids she pulled out four driver's licenses in the last month all issued in the month of november so i'm getting deeper. I got to find out why. So I'm like, why do you have four driver's licenses, Diane? She goes, well, between you and I, I've been getting followed by the government.

And I was like, why? She goes, I've been going through some trauma. And I was like, okay. And they implemented something in my head. And I need, they're taking, I forgot the guy's name, but who makes all those black movies? The Madea movies? Remember Madea? The name of the actor that plays Madea?

He does like, they're like, mainly known as black films, so the whole cast is fully black. And he says that that guy buys her memories, so whatever traumas she has or stories in her brain gets sold to him.

And he makes a movie off of her. And she's supposed to be getting a settlement of like $500 million because he's been making movies off of her life events. And I'm like, that's crazy. And I'm over here like, when are you going to get that? Because I'm connected with a financial advisor. Like I'm being straight serious with her. And then eventually she thought I was making fun of her. And she goes, there's tons of people.

But I'm like straight-faced the entire time because I'm like, you got to feed into the story. I mean, I worked with people with Alzheimer's, so hearing this stuff was like normal. And then she goes, well, there's tons of people involved, like B3 is involved. That's what they call them. And I'm like, oh, yeah, who's B3?

And she goes, Barack Obama. And I i'm like so the president of the united states is also involved in your like scheme where they implemented a chip in your brain and now you're starting to but i mean i was going at it for whether for like two months and eventually like my boss caught on you're like yo you're not like reaching your sales goals why and i'm like oh i'm sitting with this girl named diane for like an hour and a half a day because I'm bored. And I just want to hear her stories. And then my boss called on. He's like, she's got to go because she's never going to get that money.

She's definitely disabled, though. Oh, yeah. She left the state. Yeah, that's a confirmed disability. She would write checks for like $5,000 and try to cash them out of her own account. She would write checks for like $5,000 and try to like cash them out of her own account. Dude, they had this one disabled guy that would come in and he would have me pay his bills. And I had never written a check before.

Working in a bank, you never wrote a check before? So he brought in all of his bills in a checkbook and he was like, I need you to pay my bills for me. And like I didn't know what to do at the time, so I just kind of knew. And I was like, all right. So I'm just filling out these checks. like putting shit backwards random random shit yeah just like writing random shit on it and like my boss came over and like had an aneurysm dude he didn't know what was going on i was like oh i'm just paying this guy's bills for him i'm just writing in his checkbook for him just took this guy's checkbook started writing checks.

Dude, I'm so stupid, though. I thought he was just like a regular guy, but he was like actually disabled. Yeah. Like, he can't write his own checks.

Like, his hands don't work? Like, we were fucking, we were kicking it off, dude. I was like, this is my boy right here. My boss was like, dude, you're literally a fucking idiot.

Like, you can get into so much trouble for that. Hey, you're committing fraud. He's like looking at the checks. I'm like writing checks out to like the fucking Pentagon. for that hey you're committing fraud looking at the checks i'm like writing checks out to like the fucking pentagon i'm writing checks out to myself yeah but dude if uh i was on like cbd oil and i wasn't really like drinking a lot so

i was really good at like keeping a straight face and going along with stuff like nothing nothing fazed me at all yeah i wanted to work high once and i never done it again yeah bad well it was when i first started experiencing weed like i just yeah i've never done it before and i they took the dad pen thing so i'm like i thought they just made you feel nice but i never really knew how much you're supposed to smoke and i woke up like two hours early for work. So I was just driving around. And I'm just puffing on this thing. So I'm like, all right.

I'm feeling it. So I'm sitting in the car. I'm like, all right. I'm fine now. I just have to go in. It's a quiet day. How high were you though? Like one to ten?

Like a nine. Wow. No. Probably like an eight. You woke up early because you were high or just for like i just woke up early because i was just like i don't know just it's one of those days i just woke up and i'm like all right what am i gonna do yeah do i take a nap no i just i spoke of weed i'm like i'll pop a puff on this thing you know listen to some like maroon five

on the way to work really do i listen to like the she will yeah She Will Be Loved. Yeah, that song over and over again. Yeah. Just getting my feels, you know? I listen to that at the supermarket sometimes. It just plays on the radio. You know what I've been listening to every day?

I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston. Yeah, I know. You send me the video every day. Every day. Don't know why. I just get to going. I get to see like the motivation

and I walk into work every day. Have you ever listened to If It Makes You Happy? Is that like that weird song that's like in the goofy movie if it makes you happy but i know exactly what you're talking about though yeah dude that song dude i'd fucking dude crunked one out to that song dude some songs make me want to like masturbate have you ever jerked off to a song before the weekend really it's a dude but i don't care like on a dude no not to a dude but like i don't know one time i was just listening to listen to a weekend song i'm like i'm horny yeah that'd be a good that 'd be a good fuck song dude yes so i walk in i think it's gonna be a normal day it's a tuesday

it doesn't really get that busy in the center i was in so i'm like you know i'll be fine maybe this will wear off which it did i got a coffee i was like you know fine dude how did that taste the coffee yeah it was like burned my tongue dude really because i was just like i don't know i was thinking way too much i could bring it into work but my brain was thinking i have to chug this thing so i was all fucked up i just go in process when you're high huh my thought process thought process you need to chug coffee when you're high? Hot coffee. Wow.

Because like I thought it would like hit my brain quicker and I'll like wake up. But like I like narrate everything. So I went in. I'm like, this is fine. I'm talking to myself. Didn't even talk to the manager or anything. I just walked in. Just like started.

I dialed into this call. Sat there. Turned the camera off. Just like all calm like, great. Day's going fine. Now I just have to act like if someone comes in, just take care of the need and go home. I wasn't even trying to sell. I'm just like, I got to calm down.

This old lady comes in, super mellow. I'm like, hey, what brings you in today? All like bug-eyed and shit. But my eyes weren't red. Like, I never get red in the eyes. I'm tired and anything. It's like, well, you know, update my accounts. I just recently i just recently moved it's like oh that's great come follow me so walking over sit in the desk and i first of all i didn't even see you in her hands i'm not even looking at her

hands she has a death certificate right so her husband just passed away yeah and i'm like so what brings you in today i asked her again i already already asked her once. She goes, well, I need to change my address because I just recently moved. And I'm like, oh, that's great. And then I'm like, just keep going, Mason. You're doing good. So she goes, yep. Well, you know, when you lose your husband and she's like, when you lose your husband, you know, you have this big household yourself. You know, I just moved in with my daughter and, you know, it's just all new to me. And I'm like, when you lose your husband, you have this big household yourself. I just moved in with my daughter, and it's just all new to me. And I'm like, oh, that's great. So I just said it again.

She goes, no. She's a sweet woman. She goes, oh, not great. And I'm like, well, why is that? She goes, my husband just died. So now I'm at the point where I'm just staring at her and I didn't know what to say. But I'm like, well, you're living with your daughter now. So I'm like, now I'm just

digging myself a hole. She goes, well, yeah, but I'd rather live with my husband. And I'm like, oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, but... But... Dude, I don't know what this is. It's like a blocked number. It just calls me all the time. It's probably those capital management ones.

Probably. Should I answer it? No, dude. No, we're in the middle of something. Yeah. It's ISIS. But yeah, so... That was probably the first and last time I've ever done that.

Because I had to go to my car for like an hour. And just be like, hey, I'm going to take an hour lunch. Dude, I would have called out. If I was a 9 out of 10, dude... No, I was probably like an 8. Because be like hey i'm gonna take like an hour lunch because i would have called out if i was a nine out of ten dude no it's probably like an eight because if it was a nine even if it was anything above a five dude yeah dude no way man no fucking way dude yeah like imagine if something happened like if someone farted or something imagine some dude some dude farted once while he was talking to me, and I kept a straight face. Dude, it was the most proud I've ever been of myself. He was, like, with his wife.

He just farted? Yeah, he was with his wife. Did he make a noise? He was with his wife, and he was, like, some fucking white trash piece of shit, dude. Yeah. And he was like, why can't I see your screen? Oh, yeah, they always want to see what's going on. Oh, it's blocked, so, like, you don't see shit.

And he was like, I want to see what the fuck you're doing. I want to see the computer. And then he got up, got up dude to bend over fucking cranked one dude like right in his wife's face and i like kept a straight face dude yeah like dude you know how hard that is it is dude i had an old man once dude i spent my whole i spent my whole days there like just thinking about what if scenarios you know what i mean yeah like what would happen if like stupid shit shit his pants like stupid shit and then i just start like laughing and then i have to like be like all right dude you can do this you can do this i used to have a coffee cup that said that on it dude you can do this you can do this dude dude it's been so hard i mean i don't know how it's going to be

when the pandemic's over but i had to wear a mask at work and i'm just i'm cracking a smile under that mask every time i hear something stupid. You probably get that. There was an old man that came in, and I felt bad because he had a catheter bag. And he was moving around, and he's like, oh, jeez. Is that for his cock? Catheter bag? Oh, wait, no. Not for his cock.

But I know what you're saying. It's one for like, it's a poop bag. Oh, really? What are those called? That's not a catheter bag. I thought a catheter would go in your dick hole. The one that goes in your... Dude, is it like the train above the building? It's right next to it.

Like right here? Dude, it's so close that like these pictures fall down every night. That's crazy, though. Yeah. Cheap rent, though, man. Oh, like what? $500? $5, dude.

$5? You can just have this place, man. Dude, well, the pro is like if you ever need to catch the train you just hop out the window yeah dude or if i ever want to fucking end it dude just take a step out my window yeah the run gets too much you just hop out yeah dude it's perfect man what are we talking about again uh some dude with a poop bag oh yeah he came in just bend over and he goes oh geez and like i just could hear like a fart come out but like you just hear him and i'm like he's with his daughter and his daughter's going like oh dad oh geez and i'm like i'm thinking in my head like yo did this dude just shit

but i'm like i don't know what to do it's like oh are you okay sir i'm just like going with it he goes yeah she's fine like the daughter was like the daughter was like she was making a note like yeah he just he just shit in the bag but like it's like a legit bag yeah so like when you can't shit like my see-through or is it like well i can see it like you can see it through his shirt like you can see the bag yeah but like if they have to poop like their ass don't doesn't work anymore so like it goes through a tube in your intestines and they put the bag on the side but like you can hear like a rumble you know when like someone's hungry you can hear the rumble but they can't control it so when they shit they just they just do it dude i was thinking about like borat like he just whips

out of like a fucking shopping bag and shits in it. He comes back downstairs with it. What did he say? He's like, where's the shit hole? It cuts to the toilet. He doesn't know what it is it takes so long oh dude that movie's an all time classic

they haven't made a movie like that in so long yeah dude when I saw that like the kid I live with now like we grew up together yeah

dude we talked like Borat for like a year straight like it was bad live with now like we grew up together yeah we talked like borat for like a year straight like it was bad dude one time dude we would literally like talk like that all the time all the time i still do yeah my sister shit pie i like this what's up with the vanilla face have you uh i don't know if that's in the movie but there there was a video uh it might have been like the best of Borat. Oh, yeah. He has like that side series on YouTube or whatever. He has like a side series.

And he was at the, I think he was with one of the senators. And he was like, my wife, she make the best of cheese. Yeah, that's in the movie. So that's in the movie. But then there was one, he was just like, my sister, she tied it like this. And the guy was like, dude, come on. He goes,

no, I know what you're talking about. He goes, grab my thing, take it out, pull out your finger, and he goes, did she tie it like this? You ever see the crystal skit?

The restaurant crystals? When you wear their crystals? He's like, welcome to crystals. Yeah. He spits on the table, so it's just to clean up. Dude, and then he like, welcome to Crystal's. Yeah. He spits on the table. Dude, and then he like cashes out the girl.

He goes, one for Crystal, one for me. Dude, that guy's so funny, man. You know what sometimes keeps me up at night? You remember Kony 2012? The island? Yeah, but you remember like the whole Key 2012 situation no like do you really remember coney 2012 no exactly that scares me because like back in 2012 like it was a huge thing they were like yo we have to like do some like emergency drops to like these they were like lunch boxes

there was like a big website where they're like yeah we have to donate money to like this service because there was like this terrorist name i think his name was Coney, I don't know, but it was posters like this that said Coney 2012, and there were kids being kidnapped and stuff. And they had to send them lunchboxes. And I'm thinking, you can't send them lunchboxes. You've got to get the Navy SEALs to go save the kids. You think the person kidnapping them is like, yo,

these Americans just gave you lunch boxes. That sounds familiar. Yeah, if you look it up, dude, no one talks about it anymore. Stuff like that creeps me out. I'm like, yo, whatever happened to that situation with all those kids that were kidnapped on Coney Island? Yeah, dude, but I was – back to my original thought. No, like what I've been thinking about every day is like what, what it would take to, like, really make me feel again. You know what I'm saying?

Dude, I know what you mean, man. Like, I don't know either. I don't know if it's, like, everything that's going on. I think a lot of it has to do with that. But, like, I've kind of always been that way. Yeah. Like, super emotional. But, like, as far as, society goes like never been like too surprised

with stuff but like dude even every day i just think about something that would like really really throw me off you know what i'm saying yeah even if like dude even if i was walking down the road or something and like some dude like flew down from the sky with like eagle wings yeah like a strapon on his forehead. Started screaming stuff in Latin. In Latin? Dude, I probably... I don't think I'd be, like, thrown off. Well, what would you...

What would you do, though? Like, would you just stare at him? Or would you, like, have to ask him, like, Yo, my man, like... I don't think I would... Where'd you come from? I wouldn't engage right away. I would just be like...

It's another day. What would you, like, do? This kid's around here? Would you be like, do this? There's kids around here. Like, what would you do? Like, if he, if you like. If a dude was a dick on his forehead. If he confronted me. Like, if he was talking to me in Latin.

Like, if he, if you like, if he confronted me. In Latin. Yeah. That's a good question, dude. Well, you wouldn't be able to answer. I mean, can you speak Latin? if he confronted me. In Latin. Yeah. That's a good question, dude. Well, you wouldn't be able to answer. I mean, can you speak Latin? No, but I'd probably laugh.

Yeah. Maybe if it was, like, directed towards me, maybe I would feel something. Yeah. Because that would be kind of funny. That would. Because Latin's, like, a dead language. I don't even know what it sounds like. It's like the fucking, it's like a satanic language, dude. Yeah, like, I wonder what it, like, I don I even know what it sounds like it's like the fucking it's like a satanic language, dude

Yeah, like I wonder what it like I don't even know what it like I took Latin in college for a week I dropped the class because who would you talk? There's no there's no spaces between the letters. They're just symbols do this like you would The teacher looked like a fucking he was born in the year one This dude's nipple hair was probably like as long as your fucking hair right now, dude. Probably can donate it to me, dude. Make wigs for all these guys. Dude, honestly, those are the type of guys that would go to Epstein's Island.

Because they have long hair and shit. They're high all the time. They teach Latin. Your professor? Dude, it's literally called the dead language. It is. No one speaks it yeah like do people in like italy speak it you think there has to be like a society i think like

i think when they do like exorcisms that's like the shit that they speak like when they like cut the goat's throat and like put the blood what's that religion you don't know religion no i don't know what you're talking about i think it's the jewish religion i don't know that religion? No, I don't even know what you're talking about. I think it's a Jewish religion. I don't know. Passover? Dude, there was one scary movie where they were doing an exorcism and this girl just had like her period. Like, she just opened up her legs and fucking sprayed, dude. It was Maria Rossi. You remember that one?

Dude, I saw that in the movie theaters. The Exorcist? She's having an exorcism? Or an orgasm? No, I think it was just Maria Rossi. I think that's the name of the movie. Maria Rossi. That's definitely not the name of the movie,

but Maria Rossi is, like, based on a true story of a legitimate exorcism. And, dude, when... She's having period blood all over the place? Yeah, dude, she started contorting her body and like i think i don't know if it was her it was uh like in the movie they were like the guy was like yeah like these exorcisms aren't real like this is bullshit they're not real and like the guy was like all right we're gonna we're gonna show you he's like all right so they're in

like italy dude and they fucking take him to this house dude yeah they show him like a legitimate exorcism that they're about like they're the the parents they had a daughter and she was like you know fucking possessed by a fucking demon the spirit in the basement dude like in the basement yeah it's fucking sketchy ass basement and they're just like all right like please you know like help my daughter and he's like you know he's like a fucking priest yeah so yeah he's like yeah i brought my buddy fucking jeff he's gonna watch the dude like he just calls up his friend he's like yo you want to go see this girl like spew period dude so they're like in the basement yeah and like it starts off slow but like it like aggressively

like accelerates dude like this chick literally dude like was contorting like her fucking dude her legs were like wrapped around her head and she just started screaming stuff and laughing dude and then all of a sudden dude she just fucking squirts everywhere dude like period blood comes flying out it's's mad weird, though. And this dude, like, while it's happening, is literally, like, he has a cross on his hands, and he's like, by the power of Ingenious.

But it was wild, dude. That movie actually fucking scared me, dude, because it's, like, supposedly based on a true story. Dude, The Exorcist scared me when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Remember the scene when, like... Dude, that was so scary. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Remember the scene when, like... Dude, that was so scary.

Dude, as a kid, like, I'm not, like, that religious. Dude, that's still, like, even to this day, like, that's, like, the scariest movie of all time. Dude, like, I was watching my dad and my mom and, like, my older brother and stuff. And, like, remember the scene where, like, they're grabbing the kid and the old man's like, Take me! And, like, smashing his body. And then, like, they switched. Dude, after that movie was over, like, I cried to my mom and I'm, like, hugging her. I'm like, yo, don't let like, take me. And like smashing his body. And then like they switched. Dude, after that movie was over, like I cried to my mom.

And I'm like hugging her. I'm like, yo, don't let the devil take me. Wasn't that the scariest scene though, dude? When his face gets like yellow. Yeah. They switch. I bet if I watched it right now, I'd be like, yo, this makeup sucks. Like as a kid, you're just like.

No, dude. Even now, it's pretty fucking scary. Actually, you know what the fuck that movie is? If you pulled a picture, dude, like people would shit themselves. Probably. Yeah. Remember that movie, don't the fuck a little picture dude like people would shit themselves probably yeah remember that movie um Donna doesn't don't know not dawn of the dead night of the living dead like that really old movie. No

You never heard that movie. I've heard of it, but so stupid like I was kind of scared of these stupid like scary movies out there man, like the zombies in it would walk they walk super slow and somehow there's a house of like in it would walk. They walk super slow. And somehow there's a house of like nine people and they all die. And I'm like, there's only one guy that's alive at the end. And it's like this black dude. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden the cops come and the dude's like waving.

And you can tell it's a racist movie because it's mainly the 50s. The guy's like, help. And the cops just see him through the window and they just pop him in the head and kill him. What? Dude, what a shitty ending of a movie. Yeah, what a shitty ending. Dude, that's the worst. But all of a sudden, you see, like, the zombies, like, walking, like, super slow, and all of a sudden, like, the reaction time of the person would, like, turn.

Like, oh, God! And, like, the guy would, like, bite his neck, and I'm like, dude, I don't hear this dude, like, walking up the stairs. Yeah. Yeah, dude. There's not, dude, even, like, movies in general, like, there's not many, like, good movies out there. What kind of movies do you like to watch, though? I don't even really watch that many movies anymore. Do you like tearjerkers?

Dude, um... Like A Walk to Remember and The Notebook and stuff. Ball my eyes out every time. Yeah, dude, I... They're not girl movies. Those are like... No, that's true love, man. Yeah.

Like Rachel McAdams, dude. Yeah. Dude. Yeah. You know what movie made me cry my eyes out? What? Dude, like, I couldn't talk to anyone for like three days. Yeah.

A marriage story. Like, with Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver. Never seen that. Dude. Dude, you know what made me bawl my eyes out? It was The Fault in Our Stars. Never seen it, but heard of it dude so i had a girlfriend at the time we went to see a dude one of the movies and dude there's a scene

so they both have cancer dude and there's a scene where like the the girl is giving a speech yeah and like she's gonna die and like they're both gonna die like one of them's gonna die before the other. She's giving a speech, dude. This is after they hung out and fell in love and stuff. Dude. There was one single tear that rolled down my eye, dude. There could have been more.

But you're in public, so you're like, I've got to be a gangster. My girlfriend at the time, she didn't notice. She just looked over at me and she was like, if you want to cry, it's okay. She was on face. But dude, i could have fucking not did you ball no because you know if you did she caught your pussy yeah i knew she was gonna be like you're fucking i'm gonna use this again yeah dude she would have used it against me she'd be like remember that fucking time you

fucking cried because like dude i would have fucking dude there would have been like flash flood warnings man dude you know i went to go see, uh... I cried during Avengers Endgame, dude. Really? Dude, I know some people who, uh... Not even, like, towards... Have you seen that movie? Have you ever cried to, uh, Naruto? Never watched Naruto. Really? Watched Dragon Ball Z. I know some people who have cried to, uh, anime.

I've cried, um... I've cried to animes. I've cried to Avatar, dude. Avatar The Last Airbender? That's not a kid's show. Yeah. No, that's some grown-up shit, dude. Dude, that is. Uncle Iroh, man, like, to me, he's like my dad, dude.

Yeah. Like, if I see that man crying or upset, dude, I start bawling, dude. Really? Dude, the animation of, like, seeing an animated person crying. Yeah. Like, he, I don't know, like, for a kid, like, that's kind of, like, traumatizing. Because, like, there's an episode where Uncle Iroh's son is son died in war first of all this is a kid show so why is there like it's so deep into like the the character development and he's like walking around helping all these people

and then it's his son's birthday so he goes to a tree and he like lights these candles and has a picture of it and he's playing this song called Good Soldier Boy or whatever, like singing it. And you can see Uncle Iroh crying. And I'm just like waiting for the bus for school, dude. And like seventh grade, it's like crisscross applesauce. Ball my eyes out. Yeah, dude. I cried to Braveheart.

Braveheart. Who's in that? Mel Gibson. You ever seen Braveheart, dude? Dude, Mel Gibson's a freaking freak. But no, he's... Dude, you've never seen Braveheart. Braveheart's the movie where he's like, has the blue makeup on.

Yeah. Yeah. Freedom. Freedom. Yeah, the beginning, dude. His dad dies in war. Yeah. He's like, I'll fucking be back.

And he just never comes back. But they like, dude, they like bring his stuff back. They're like, he'll fall there, freaking shit himself. They like, they like tell him what happened and shit, and he just becomes a fucking savage dude. Dude, Mel Gibson is crazy. You ever watch any of his public freakouts? Yeah. You ever see he's doing an interview on the Hollywood strip, and all of a sudden he just starts screaming?

I saw the one about, he said doing an interview on, like, the Hollywood Strip, and all of a sudden he just starts screaming? I saw the one about, uh, he said something about Jews. Really? Yeah. He was, like, cocked, and he said something, uh, anti-Semitic. Oh. Dude, you just reminded me of something. So, you know the dude that was mentioned that was, like, melting in the chair?

So he has some sort of, like, dementia. He was, um, an older man. He was fought in wars this and that 91 but he he mentioned something about the pandemic and he was like oh this pandemic's getting pretty bad huh and i was like yeah it reminds me of the flu like what flu was like not the spanish flu whatever it was like back in the 20s and he's like yep this is just god god punishing us and i'm like oh you think so he goes yep and then he mentions like the holocaust he goes yeah they're punishing us like they punish the jews and i'm like yeah he goes yeah like the jews you know or i forget what he really said because i was kind of like just thrown off because this dude kind of said like the Jews had it coming.

But I'm like, I don't know, man. It was just like crazy to hear. Like it was just – this is how I knew this guy was like losing it because then he mentions that and then like start asking for like random money. But like I forget where I was going with that. But he compared COVID-19 to like the, like, how this is God's work. I'm like, I don't think God will just be like, yo. Yeah, dude, no. That's actually happened to me before.

Like, I've had customers say, like, racist shit. And I would just, like, stare at them, like, blank-faced. Yeah. Like, not. Typically, you say yeah to everything they say. Just to continue. Just to say shit. Just like confirm it but like dude i just i would just stare at them straight and be like get the fuck out of here like dude i had that moment like probably three or four weeks ago with a lady

that came in and she was super nice right but then she mentions um oh my god how am i already forgetting their name they get that gabby girl that just passed away from Brian Laundrie? Yeah. Yeah, everyone knows about that. It's, like, a huge thing. This woman comes in, she goes, I don't know what the big deal is. He only killed, like, one girl. And I'm just, like, looking at him like.

Yeah, you don't say. I don't know what to say to that. I'm like, yeah, you just killed one girl, but, like, that's how Ted Bundy started. Oh, dude, what is it they say at banks they're like have a great day come and they'll be like this bank's going to shit if i fucking call you and i talk to some fucking jamaican motherfucker some fucking indian man i can't fucking understand them dude you know what i hate like i had a woman come in and i don't know working in banks so you know how credit cards work right there's interest on them and this lady comes in she goes

i got a 29 fee like you guys are charging me 29 and i already paid you 100 and i was like oh well i'm showing her i'm like that's interest because well i don't think that's fair dude she wouldn't leave my office for like an hour until like, she was like demanding that I don't give her interest anymore. And I'm like, don't use it. I was like, well, what do I do to avoid the interest? I'm like, well, pay it off in full.

And she goes, well, I don't want to do that. So I just go, well, don't use the card. She goes, well, I need to use it. So for like an hour, she wouldn't leave because she's like, well, I need to, let me talk to your manager. And I'm like, okay. So I went over to my manager.

I'm like, she doesn't want to pay interest and he just looks at me like okay and i'm like i don't know what to do it's like what'd you what'd you tell her and i was like i told her not to use the card she goes well what'd she say and she goes she needs to use it so i'm like i don't know what to do for her like you can't just get free money yeah fuck people man dude people are going to banks dude unless you for, like, if you're going for a loan, dude, it's fine. Anything else, dude, you're a fucking idiot. My biggest pet peeve is, like, if I ask how you're doing, just say good or something. Don't just, like, walk by me.

Like, I'm a human being, too. Like, what if I'm having a bad day and this way here, like, good in you? Like, they'll just, like, walk in. They'll be like, you know, they'll just make a face. Or they won't even make eye contact. Dude dude but that's when those thoughts come into play where you think about doing random stuff like if you were in the lobby dude you just whipped out your dick yeah you know what i'm saying what's this straight swinging yeah you like you started yelling stuff dude like well i found out on snapchat you know you can like press down the

button and like it can like take three seconds you can like take a picture like i'll like do like if i'm bored in the office like i'll go in random areas and just start taking random pictures dude i got caught once and oh i forgot to circle back to the borat thing you remember that scene when like borat talking you're like you wanted to dress up like the people of america so he goes to like the ghetto of like Oakland or whatever. And like, he sees everyone sagging their pants. So he like walks into the hotel and he like had his underwear out and shit.

Go to the bathroom. Cause I'm like trying to make a video. And I work with like this 50 year old man named Frank and, uh, we'll blur out his name. That's his real name. But, but,

um, he just walks into the bathroom and i'm getting ready to make this stupid little video and i was like tucked my shirt into my underwear and i'm like walking around the bathroom like that he goes oh whoa he's like you're right i'm like yeah i'm just making a video and he goes i remember those days and i'm like do you like i was like what days were you just walking around with your underwear over your pants. Dude, I took a... Last bank story, dude. I took a shit in the bank. Like, in the back.

Like, no one can go back there. Right? Like, people are like, you have a public restroom. No, we don't. You can't go back there. Like, the vault's back there. Wait, the toilet's in the vault?

Yeah. Dude, so I took a shit, like, right next to the vault i guess where the bathroom was yeah and i flush and it like doesn't go down like it was a massive shit dude so like i flush it doesn't go down i like wait a few seconds i'm like all right i'll just flush again dude so i flush again so now my shit is like at the top and i'm like i have to make a decision like i'm either gonna like leave this overnight or like to do what marinate dude so i try it again dude shit starts fucking spraying everywhere dude like dude shit flooded like the bathroom so i'm literally like i'm pushing shit with paper towels like with my

foot with your foot yeah no you put it in your hand. Yeah, I started eating it, dude. No, you put a bunch of toilet paper. I've had to do this once. Dude, it was like an inch. It was like flooded like an inch, dude. Like, it was flooding. And I was freaking out,

because I was like, dude, if this seeps into the lobby, like, it's going to be fucking bad, dude. So I'm like panicking, dude. I used all the paper towels and there was still shit everywhere dude was it like a solid shit we had to call a maintenance company call the hospital we had to call a maintenance company and like just be like hey like toilets absolutely fucked shit's fucked yeah dude i was so proud of myself was it a solid shit was it like uh no it was just

straight up fucking hershey squirts dude like it was bad man but dude that was such a bad day man imagine that i wouldn't know what to do i'd probably um i'm just happy to get in the lobby dude are you the only dude there or did you have like a lot of chicks that worked with you like did you share the bathroom it was all chicks so i couldn't be like yo i just i just massacred the unisex bathroom no it's a boys and girls bathroom so you both could use it no there's a men's bathroom and there's a woman's bathroom so you're in the clear though so i'm like no one would like no when it happened though i had no one to go to i wasn't gonna walk up to the chicks and be like yo i just blew up the b room you know what i should do yes they probably

do it all the time dude i feel like girls shit just as bad yeah i don't know man i don't know about that i work with all girls but i worked with one guy and this is a dude that like caught me once and like i don't know what his thing is but like he has casual conversations with me while i'm taking on like a number two like i'll just walk into a stall yeah there's a stall well there's a stall in a urinal first time i met him i was taking a pee and I'm like what the hell's going on so I'm like I'm in the urinal and he like walks by to go use the other one and like I didn't find it weird but like someone might find it weird he just walks by and he goes my man how you doing like just pats me on the back and like rubs my shoulder a little bit as I'm straight stream dude well

I couldn't like pee for a second I like stopped because i was like yeah what the heck just happened and then he's just talking to me casually and i'm like okay and then i'm sitting my desk like typing and then it just hit me i'm like yo did you just like massage my shoulder while lancoc was out dude you're trying to like get a look yeah that's gonna hit you hard dude it did yeah i like went home and i was like this man just massaged my shoulder yeah i think the moral of the story is dude just don't you know don't work at a bank dude don't work at a bank no man dude how do you feel like do you feel weird like that you have your own place now yeah kind of i um did you cry yeah really yeah honestly like when i was like at

my house when was like when when did you cry like i think when i was like moving stuff out you know i'm a mama's boy so like i um i was sitting at home and my mom's like dude rushing me dude like i don't know what it was weird like she cried at first because i had everything around the house but like i moved all my stuff out of my childhood room dude like i never moved out of my house like that's the house i lived in for the last 25 years and like i don't know after it was like empty i like sat in the closet dude and i'm just like looking at the room and i'm like crying and my mom's like are you crying i'm like nah bitch i'm just like

it's musty as shit in this room you know nah but like dude i don't know but like my mom's like cool as shit yeah but she's been on my nerves because like she like did a bunch of my laundry but like she's smart she knows she doesn't want me to she wants me to come back to the house she put all my brother's clothes in a bag knowing it's not mine like she knows she's been doing my laundry for years you know so like she knows whose clothes are whose so i'm looking at all this stuff i'm like she did this because she knows i have to go return it now yeah yeah well do you think you're gonna go back a lot probably not really maybe once in a while like i'll take my mom out to like a nice seafood dinner yeah i go back a decent amount do you see

my mom's boy dude but like dude she gets excited to like she'll get excited to do my laundry and like she does a better job than i would do. Yeah. Because, like, dude, first day here, I just threw, like, all my laundry in the wash. And, dude, I almost caused, like, a fire. Like, she, like, she does a good job, and, like, she, like, looks forward to it, dude. Doing your laundry? But, yeah, dude, she's, like, super emotional, man. Like, when I, dude, when I went to college, dude, I bawled my fucking eyes out, dude. Because I was the first person in my family to go to college well that's a big step though yeah so like i was

going to uri dude and i like dude everything hit me at once man and i just like sat down on my bed and i was like fuck dude just made jerk get like yeah i was like dude i can't believe i'm doing this i know it is weird though like uh but like dude, I also think about, like, if I did still live with my mom, like, how, like, depressing that would be. Because, like, dude, you don't want to live there too long. Not too long. I don't either. If you're, like, 30, dude, and you're like, mom, like, you know, where the rice cake's at. Dude, that'll get, you know.

Dude, bad. Yeah. Well, I think it got bad in the point where I wanted to move out was, like mom works a night shift and uh she doesn't do no one in my house has a filter like i i was dating this girl and uh i was still young like 23 yeah ish yeah i was like 23 and we would just be like straight banging you know like in my room my little brother has like no filter dude i don't know what was wrong with him like one one day, like he just opens up my bedroom door. And like we were like finishing. So we were like done.

But like we're in my room. It's just comfortable. And we've been dating for like a year. So we're just like naked, you know, just standing up butt naked. He just opens up the door and he just has a casual conversation. I'm like, yo, dude. And he goes, oh, dude, I thought like I was just like, he was just, I don't know what he was even talking about. My brain was just like focused on like this man really is just like staring at my just like, he was just, I don't know what he was even talking about. My brain was just, like, focused on, like, this man really is just, like, staring at my girlfriend, like, butt-ass naked.

Yeah. And he's just, like, still talking. He's, like, talking about a video game or something. I'm like, dude. How old is he? He's two years younger than me. So, at this time, he's, like, 20. So, we're, like, two grown-ass men with, like, I think he wasn't wearing a shirt.

So, we're almost, like, three people, like, I think he wasn't wearing a shirt. So we're almost like three people, like two and a half people naked. Yeah. And he's just like standing in the doorway. My mom, she'll just open up the door. This is the worst part. Like it'll be like one in the morning and she'll like come into the room. And like sometimes I'm up, you know, because like I'll just be like scrolling with my phone. And this is like what made me want to move out is she'll like come home from work and like open up the door and like come in my room and

start rubbing my back and like she'll ask a dumb question are you awake honey like now i am because you just barge into the room started rubbing my back and then ask you if i'm awake and then just threw out my sleeping schedule but um yeah also bringing home girls like i'm 25 now so at least you were bringing in girls man i went like three years without it was actually probably longer than that than having a girl over uh over my house yeah i was it was like weird though because like my mom back in the day like she would always want to like talk to them my mom does too and i'd be like listen mom i get it but like we're out we're out clam hunting like we're not dude you know what i'm saying my mom i was talking to this girl from like uh not from rhode island like another state and uh my mom like she's like

so how was your night and like she can tell like if i come home acting a different way like i was pretty happy like i don't know we were like handing it off kind of so she's like you're talking to someone i'm like yeah she goes what's her name and i said her first name let's say her name's uh glenn i was like talking to her goes what's her name? And I said her first name. Let's say her name's Glenn. I was, like, talking to her. She goes, what's her last name? Because I know my mom would, like, go on Facebook and stuff. Oh, really? And then, like, next thing you know, like, two weeks later, I found out they were, like, messaging each other a little bit on Facebook.

I'm like, mom, like, I'm not dating this person. Like, don't do that. Damn, dude. Because then, like, I don't know. Like, I feel like I'm obligated to, like, marry that person. So mom's like, she seems like a really nice person. I'm like mom you talked to her on facebook yeah but uh dude at least you're like i mean dude that's you know that's

like a good problem to have though dude dude like i remember at one point my mom was like are you you going out tonight you're gonna talk to some girls and i'll be like no like i'm just chilling here like isn't that what you want she was kind of like your mom's like you're gonna smash a chick upstairs pussy yeah but like she was like i you want she was kind of like your mom's like you're gonna smash a chick upstairs yeah but like she was like i felt like she was kind of like you know like you should you know you should go out and like pursue some pussy socialize with some pussy you know what i'm saying because i'm just dude i'm just spanking like playing xbox with my boys which is the dream it is i'm saying but like dude there's there's a point where it's like yo you're gonna you're gonna impregnate the woman yeah but like dude there's always random shit man like my mom got a bonus once and she bought like a bird feeder and dude she put it in the

middle of the front yard so like when i would go to work in the morning there would just be like fucking falcons dude just fucking coming down from the sky and just shitting everywhere dude she would like feed up like the whole thing she would feed falcons she would feed like the whole neighborhood of birds why dude i don't know man she's just fascinated with like bird feeders and shit yeah but then you're like leaving the house every day and like there's just bird shit all over the place like legitimate falcons i'm like dude is that a human being with wings bro one time i was like i thought it was weird i was taking my dog outside right yeah and i think it was an eagle or something but like you know how

they like kill their brain an eagle yeah no way it was a fucking eagle bald eagle dude you think you saw a bald eagle maybe i don't know if it was an eagle or an owl falcon dude falcon maybe i don't know they all look the same they're just a big bird an eagle is like pretty fucking rare dude but you know like they kill right like how they kill their prey they pick it up they fly super high and they just drop that shit so i'm taking my dog outside and i'm like just having him uh what do you call like doing his business all of a sudden you just i just like look i hear it to the right i can see it in the corner of my eye i just hear a thud and i see a rabbit just just fall and then i look up and i see like

a like it was like a hawk or falcon or something right just like flying and all of a sudden it stops and it gets on the top of my roof of my house and it's just like staring at me and i'm like yo zeus hurry that shit up dude like you're about to die like we have to get inside and then i saw him and i felt so bad because like i saw the rabbit like twitching like i probably could have saved it but i'm like nah this dude's hungry so i because like I saw the rabbit like twitching. Like I probably could have saved it, but I'm like, nah, this dude's hungry. So I'm like, yeah, you're done. Nah, dude. Survival of the fittest, man.

You can't be a pussy out there, dude. Especially as a man, dude. Yeah. If I see a squirrel on the road, dude, I'm fucking accelerating, bro. Do you ever see chicks who like fucking slam on the brakes for squirrels? Really? Yeah, dude. I'll get out of the car, man.

Dude, I did that once when I was in a truck. I felt so bad. Like, and I probably didn't. I'll get out of the car, man. Dude, I did that once when I was in a truck. I felt so bad. And I probably didn't. I went a little bit extra. I was driving, and I ran over a squirrel, and I felt bad because I could feel the thud. And I was like, oh, shit. So I get out of the car, and I see it spazzing out because it's dying. I didn't know what to do.

So I picked up a huge rock, right? I could have just put the car in reverse and put him out of his misery. But I got this huge rock, and I just threw it up in the air and i just like smashed right on it and i was like now he's fine but like i told my i was going to therapy at the time oh yeah yeah so it was like uh i don't know it was college so i was like i was uh 19 at the time it's a lot of things changing my life you know i wasn't really getting girls my first year i didn't know how it worked still living at home my mom i don't know just like a life-changing event i had to figure out what was going on and i went to therapy and my therapist was like how's your day

go so far i'm like i don't know man i just smashed a squirrel the rock before i came here and like dude i don't know like what to do that day yeah i wouldn't feel anything dude i saved a turtle once though i saved a turtle i had it for a pet that's a good feeling man dude i had a pet turtle named skittles for 14 years really it was in my room and i fed it every day my brother's a slob right so like i don't know if he killed it or anything but like my girlfriend at the time was like living in my room with me so like she's like we got to get rid of the turtle she didn't want in my room so i'm like fine we'll just move it into chase my brother's room chase yeah my brother's name is chase and uh dude two months later he just gives us a call and he goes yo i don't know if skittles

is alive right now so i came home and like went into the room like tapped on the tapped on the the case dude's dead i'm like yo what'd you do and he goes nothing fed him and everything i don't know it's like all of a sudden dude living in my room for 14 years and like i'm googling shit i'm like yo how long do turtles supposed to live for this thing's supposed to live for like 80 years yo no way dude how is he dead already years dude some tortoises like live for like 200 man fuck dude that's a good dude when you save a turtle though dude i saved one in the rain man he was about to get fucking crushed bro would you find him in the street you're like yeah dude it was raining out and i saw him and i was like dude i'm gonna fucking save you little buddy and there was a pond right

next to him just chuck him in throw him in there dude he's probably dead now but probably yeah he probably didn't survive yeah imagine fucking with a snapper, dude. Snapper turtle? Yeah. I wouldn't fuck with that, dude. Nah, dude. Those things like hiss and shit, dude. They do. Dude, my little one, Skittles, used to hiss. Like, if he went under the bed. He used to get out of the, not the cage, but like out of the fish tank and like crawl

under my bed sometimes. Yeah. I was never good with like shit like that, man. I'm not good with pets in general. We had a big fish tank once. Dude, we had a big fish tank once. Yeah. And we bought like fucking 30 fish.

Didn't know anything about the fish. Put them in the tank, dude. Like a week later, the tank was just fucking brown. It looked like someone literally took a shit in it. Yeah, they're all shit in there. Dude, they all died.

Did they eat each other? At the same time. Do you think any of them ate each other? I think some of them ate each other, but like all the others all shitting in there. Dude, they all die. Do they eat each other? They eat at the same time. Do you think any of them ate each other? I think some of them ate each other, but, like, all the others started shitting. And that probably knocked out a few. They're probably like, yo, clean this shit. So depressing, though, dude. Just, like, this massive tank that was, like, brown.

Dude, the first time, you know when you're, like, a kid and, like like you go in your backyard and you're like uh yeah you just find like random toads and shit you're like yo we got pets yeah so it was like a hot summer i was really like a big animal kid really i've always had a pet i never like fucked with animals like dogs or nothing you have no no no like i have a shit ton like i've fucking two dogs but no i'm saying like i was never somebody who like found animals and like fucked with them like you know i didn't like a dead animal you know like in a poker yeah like psychopathic shit no yeah like skin a cat or something like skin a cat and wear it as a hat you know i'm saying cat in the hat yeah but like um i found these toads right my brother dude i had no idea about anything i was just like my mom's like yeah I found these toads, right? And my brother, dude, I had no idea about anything. I was just like, my mom's like, yeah, we got to go to Walmart.

So, I'm like, all right, great. But we don't want the toads to leave. So, we took, like, all five toads, right? And we're like, yo, we're going to name these things real quick after we come back. We're thinking of names on the ride home. Yeah. Beaming sun. We put them in a cooler with no top, no nothing, no food.

Dude, we come back. Those things were fucking fried, dude. It was bad. I felt bad. Yeah. We're like, yo, what are we going to name them? I figured name them i feel we're gonna name them but like we had names we all look in dude they're like black like shit i was like yo yeah i'm gonna get fucking oh dude one time i don't know i'm even saying this bro but like one time i was like raking the leaves right this is like very recent and like i still feel guilty about this to this day right i'm raking the leaves and shit right and like we had

like a mice problem at my house so i always thought like we had like little mice like coming in through like the gutters or something like every house does not every house but like my house is like old my mom's looking to move like we've been renting the house for years and the landlord sucks because they haven't like updated the building since like the stone age but we had like a mice problem a couple years and then we filled some holes but i'm breaking leaves and all of a sudden like i rake the leaves right i see like three baby things right they look like mice but they're not mice they're bunnies so i'm like i rake and i'm like yo shit so i see like three little things i take the i take the rake and instinctively i'm like yo get these fuck like i'm smashing with the with the rake and I'm like, yo, shit. So I see, like, three little things. I take the rake, and instinctively, I'm like, yo, get these fuck... Like, I'm smashing them with the rake, and I'm like, oh, fuck.

That was your instinct? To kill them? Yeah. Yeah, because if they were mice, I'm like, yo, these things can't get into the house. Because if I just move them, they're going to come back. Yeah. But then, like, I hit them once. Bad, dude.

And then all of a sudden i hit him i hit him hard so like i saw him like bounce up and down and then i'm going to like crank it up again my mom's like looking out the window and i'm like looking at him like yo these things don't have tails so i'm like getting close i'm like yo these fucking they're baby bunnies bro you killed them three oh but i didn't i didn't kill them i probably gave them brain damage so i fucked up their whole bed i'm like yo what do i do now i was like my mom's like do we do i take them in there's three of them so i'm like yo we have i have three brothers my brother came home he goes yeah we should take each take one i'm like no we gotta keep them here so i'm googling shit i'm like the bunnies will come

back like the mom goes out and gathers food all day and it comes back like at night so i'm like i have to make a little bed for him so i took an old t-shirt put him back it was a cold day like it's cold at night this is probably like july this year and i'm still like i stopped smoking weed but like i'm telling my friend jake uh jake and i'm like yo jake you want to come over and i was like i had to just tell somebody because i just felt guilty i And I'm like, yo, so I think I killed like three babies today, like three baby bunnies. And he goes, oh, really? I'm like, yeah, dude. Like, I don't know how to feel right now.

Like, I felt like shit because I'm like, yo, someone's mom. Because like when I was driving home, I was like looking at like little bunnies like in my neighborhood. And I'm like, yo, there's a mother looking for like three babies right now. And I'm sitting there like high a little bit in my driveway. And like he's in there too. And he's he's like yo look so i'll go over to the left dude it's the fucking mama mama bunny like came back at like nine o'clock at night and i felt like shit because she's just like staring at like looking for him dude no she

like she's looking at him because like i put him back and then she like looks left and right and then she just fucking leaves so i'm, all these things are fucking dead. So I made a little, if you go in my backyard, I dug three little holes, and I had iPhone cases. You know the iPhone boxes, like when you buy an iPhone? Yeah. Took all three. Put each one in little caskets, and I buried them in my backyard. Dude.

That literally makes me want to cry right now. Right? That's so emotional, dude. Dude, it was a bad time. I felt like shit. You know what the worst part about it is my mom made a scene because she goes what's going on and my neighbor's like her name's i'm not gonna say her name but like she's just like looking at me like everything okay and i'm like yeah everything's okay go back to what you were doing you know whatever like don't be nosy i'm just killing babies over here dude i felt like i felt so bad i think about this to this day.

I'm like, yo. Like, yo, I killed three babies. Dude, I'm trying so hard. I'm starting to fart. Dude, that's the worst. Dude, it felt so tight, too. The best ones are those little bubbles. i heard that that was good you should put the mic on it oh i'm gonna shit myself don't do that man we're getting old sometimes you

actually will do that you know you never never fuck with animals man but uh somebody uh oh yeah where are you going with that no because um yeah when I was younger, dude, I didn't know what my dad did for a living. And I was like 12, 13 or something. And I remember he was talking to my mom, and he was like, hey, Kevin's coming over for dinner and my mom was like did you tell the kids and he was like no no no they'll you know they'll be fine it's like dude we're at dinner yeah dude and like you had to be on time for dinner dude like he'd be he'd be like pissed if you're not there so like once the street lights went on like i had to be i had to be at the dinner table and like i wasn't really religious but we would say

grace yeah you would expect me to have something like ready to say solid say and i was always dog shit like thank you baby jesus my favorite jesus dude so i remember like he has this dude kevin over no joke dude he has this dude kevin over we sit down like like doesn't even introduce me or anything dude and he's like john need you to say grace and i was like fuck dude so i'm making shit up i'm like thank you so much for this like beautiful dinner dude all of a sudden bro kevin rips ass dude like right at the table ranks one dude and like fucking spanks

the mashed potatoes dude and dude I fucking laughed for two hours dude dude I got grounded for a week dude

Kevin was disabled bro like that's my dad worked with like kids with disabilities wait so he just invited a so what did your dad do dude he he worked for uh like this foundation that's still around it's called the seven hills foundation yeah and he would literally just take care of special needs people yeah they were older though so like this oh like adults this was a grown man at the dinner table so your dad just like took one of his like like he would hang out with them he'd like bring them to the movies oh yeah uh shit like that my mom did that yeah project friends but dude like it was dude they would come over every night for dinner dude it was fucking

hilarious dude like i never missed a dinner bro like dude they would just yell shit in the middle of a conversation oh so you can dump their head in the mashed potatoes and shit dude but like i would get in trouble for it like i got grounded for laughing dude but he you can't help it though dude imagine like not knowing that dude and you just see that like i was in the middle of grace you know what i'm saying dude but like dude i think this i was thinking about this the other day like i think that's why i am the way i am because like he would have them over to hang out and i would hang out with them yeah so i think that's where like some of the random stuff i do comes from probably we would

do we would hit golf balls at houses do my dad bought me a uh like you would just like casually just like swing golf balls yeah my dad bought me a golf set once yeah they were like used golf clubs like the the three wood was legit wood yeah and like dude i remember one day me and kevin were in the backyard dude and just started fucking beaming my neighbor's house like dude we would tee up and just swing as hard as we could so how old was this kevin guy like 35? How old are you grown fucking man. You were the 35-year-old man and you just like, first instinct, yeah, you want to go smash some... Dude, I had a...

My mom did that too. Dude. And there was this lady that used to come to the house and I forgot her name, but she used to be scared of my dog all the time. And one day...

Your mom would like bring him over to the house? Sometimes. Like there was two customers or not i don't like to call them customers but like clients or whatever they are that really that she really liked and like if you had to babysit them like my mom she worked like three jobs so like yeah she did like multitask like if she had to do something for work or school like she'd bring them back to the house and like let them watch a movie or whatever but she was scared to death of my dog. My dog is like a big chocolate lab. He's super friendly. He'll just kiss you like you and all that.

But one day, dude, my brother's an asshole. Like my little brother. She's walking to the car. And she goes, I'm not scared of the dog anymore. This is like two months in. So Chase goes, oh, yeah? So there's a cage. And so the dog's in the living room watching her walk to the car. like in the in the living room like watching her walk to the

car yeah and she's in the middle of my neighborhood my neighbor is like my neighbors are always outside it's an older neighborhood so they're all like you know raking the leaves talking to each other through the fence so she's like my doggy like waving through the door so my brother opens the door to let the dog run after and chase chase her. Dude, she was screaming like someone's about to, like, chase her with a knife, man. Does she have Down syndrome? Yeah. I felt guilty, but I didn't even stop the dog. I was just, I was kind of laughing.

I would, dude, so I was at Subway. This was, like, a year or two ago. I'm just fucking, I used to go to Subway, bro, and I would order, like, double chicken chop salads. Like, who the fuck does that, dude? Who gets to go to Subway bro and I would order like like double chicken chopped salads like who the fuck does that dude who gets a salad from Subway exactly

I did that for like a few years bro that's a weird thing to get from Subway dude so I'm outside of Subway yeah and

I see this dude Richard who's disabled walking in with another dude and this was a guy that my dad used to take care of dude I almost started bawling my eyes out.

Why? Crying? Or like laughing? Because like, dude, it just brought back so many memories, man. Smashing golf balls against the houses. Well, Richard, so like Kevin had like full on down syndrome. So he was like the funniest dude to hang out with. Like, dude, I fucking love that guy, man.

He would do like the most random shit, dude. Yeah. And I would invite friends over and not tell them and then they would find out and like we hung out they're like we were boys man yeah like i would never like the thing about like dude like if somebody made fun of him dude i would destroy him i would destroy them but like i would also be like super emotional man you know what i mean yeah for some reason it just made me super emotional does it seem it's like man you know i mean yeah for some reason it just made me super emotional does it seem it's like they're so fucking funny dude dude they're funny and they're so genuine yeah like they don't like

dude they like i'm sure they're fucking hard to take care of but like dude like some of the funniest fucking memories i've ever had is like with that dude kevin like dude we would fucking hit golf balls at houses dude we played so many sports together like he was just we would we would break so many windows together just like every dude imagine every day at the dinner table just mid-conversation someone just yells something right like dude i feel bad about that because like they can't control it but like i know what you mean like they're just like screaming yeah and people are like oh that must like get old it's like, like, I don't know what you mean. Like, they'll just start screaming. Yeah. And people are like, oh, that must, like, get old. It's like, no.

It never was. Did he get old? But, dude, I saw this dude, Richard, and he didn't have Down syndrome, but, like, he couldn't take care of himself, dude. Yeah. So, like, my dad brought him, like, grocery shopping and shit, and, like, we would go with them. But, dude, I hadn't seen him in a while, man. We would go with them. But, dude, I hadn't seen him in a while, man.

And when I saw him, you know, with, like, another guy taking care of him, dude, dude, I was like, holy shit, man. Yeah, you don't know what to do, man. Dude, I almost put on landslide and fucking started bawling, bro. Did he look old? I'm not glad I cried, dude. Like, I fucking couldn't handle it. You saw him at Subway, though? Dude, I saw him at Subway right next to, like, where he used to live.

Like, we used to help him, like, do grocery shopping and shit. Yeah. And I think he's still living in the same place man but you're gonna cry now am i dude honestly no i wouldn't need to no dude but dude i'll make fun of you a lot i was thinking about it because i was like you know like a lot of people our age dude like they're mature now yeah like they're like we're 25 dude like a lot of people are kind of like cutting it off like they're getting married and they're like they don't really think farts are funny anymore and like they're really like settling down and like dude i still think all that stuff's funny farts i think it's uh i think it's because of that but i never thought of it that way

no it's because like it's like all that stuff affects you man when you're younger like when you're growing up like i think it sticks with you farts are funny though like farts in general probably not but like you're telling me, like, you're just, like, casually sitting somewhere. Like, at Subway. And you're just, like, sitting there and you just hear a fart. Yeah. Like, that's funny. Because, like, who the fuck farts?

Farts are funny when it's in, like, a professional setting. Yeah. Dude. Like, if you were in a business meeting and somebody was making a presentation and it got quiet and someone cranked one, that would be fucking hilarious. Absolutely. It's not that funny anymore when someone's like, yo, fucking check this. Yo, listen to this. It's still funny, but it's not as funny.

No, it has to be out of pocket, out of nowhere. Like when you say grace, that's fucking funny shit. Yeah, it's not the place to fart. Yeah. like it's funny shit yeah it's not the place to fart yeah or when you're sitting with like customers like you ever you ever sit with a customer or like sit in a professional standing and um you let the silent one come out but like your heart's kind of racing hope they don't smell it or catch on i've done that multiple times like i one morning like i'm starting to work out again so i mean like six eggs in the morning uh all that stuff so i must say dude no home i'm proud

of you because like when i first met you, you were so fucking lazy, dude. Like, you never worked out. I didn't do shit, dude. What, like, made you start working out? A woman. Really? That and I don't know. Heartbreak?

Huh? Was it heartbreak? Heartbreak? Yeah. That's why I started working out, dude. I don't know if it was heartbreak. It was just, like, one day I just looked in the mirror and I'm like. Was it bad?

What? Like, what you saw in the mirror and I'm like. Was it bad? What? Like what you saw in the mirror? Yeah. You were like upset with yourself? I thought I looked like a piece of shit. I was like, yo, I got to get my shit together. But like weren't you like, did you play sports in high school and stuff? I played basketball.

Yeah. I did drill team a lot though. Like in high school I was kind of like a nerd. Really? Not a nerd. I was a cool nerd. When you say drill, you mean band? No, it's not like band band it's like rifles and shit so like you ever see cadet kelly when they're like doing the flipping and

stuff yeah like wooden guns yeah but they were real guns though they were like heavy guns yeah real guns real guns like they were loaded yeah start shooting hey yo start popping off no but they were like springfield replicas um and i used to love that stuff because like everyone what are you doing with your hand you caught me though got you later but uh yeah i did all that um i was super tall like people always thought i should do volleyball like if i can go back to high school i'd probably be more active in sports but yeah i dated a girl in high school and she used to like i used to be skinny so like i've been working on my chest a lot because she used to put a pillow on my chest say my chest was bony when we used to cuddle yeah like yo that

sucked and then like i don't know it just never worked out and in college i had like the worst eating schedule because i would like eat ramen noodles and just like be bored between classes i used to play tons of basketball yeah you didn't go to class dude I went to like one yeah that would be it and then I'd like reach out to my professors and like give them like this weird sob story saying I'm going through a lot of stuff yeah but in reality I was just lazy I just didn't want to go to college classes yeah man the college was I don't know what it is but like I lost a lot of motivation when I went to college I think I mean dude I don't think college is uh college is kind of a joke man but oh it is I think about like laziness a lot because like dude i used to be

like super lazy and i kind of like you know now i'm like waking up early and like doing more stuff but back in the day dude i was fucking super lazy man really yeah like it was bad yeah i got i got really lazy i don't know what it was i mean it's pretty much like a disease if you think about it it is you know that like when you get lazy it causes depression too like when you're just sitting there you're like i don't want to fucking do anything yeah because we uh i mean our generation's kind of like a bunch of pussies too dude it is because you're like yo why are you depressed and like i don't know and you're like you really don't know like i just feel bad for people with, like, actual depression, man. Yeah, you know what?

Because I've had days where I'm, like, really sad. Like, I've been in some dark places. But, like, when I see someone sad, like, I don't judge them or, like, laugh. I'll just be like, yo, man, like, what's going on? It's like, what are you doing? You know what I mean? Like, literally, like, what are you doing? And they're like, nothing.

It's like, you know, maybe you just start there, you know? Yeah. Maybe, like, fucking go outside. Go outside, read a book. No, no, I'm just going to fucking chill here. And it's like, well, there's your fucking problem. But, like, I feel bad for people who are, like, you know, legitimately depressed. Yeah.

Like, what's causing their depression is, like, out of their control. And they're still trying to get out of it. Yeah. And you know what sucks about our generation, too, and it's video games and all that are fun. It's the people that are, like, burping all the time. Like, yo, can we hear that? Dude, I think it's the bang, dude, because I was burping a lot, too.

I know. It's, like, really carbonated. Again, like, tons of gas. Really? Not really. Kind of. I can feel the rumbling, but I'm, like, trying not to fart right now. That's all right, dude.

Just let it rip. Let it rip. I don't know. I don't want to ruin the leather sorry ruin you broke the chair dude i kind of did right i don't know what that is yeah it's like indents i don't know why fucking skin you're fucking jacked dude it's fucking jacked yeah you're jacked man look at you no homo but like i would i'd cuddle you man fuck me dude i'd fuck you right with that shirt dude i'd come right in that mouth of that shirt dude oh dude that'd be hard all day we can use the lube yeah but um no video games dude like people that like what i like was going through it and all like i i broke my hand i was doing a lot

of dumb stuff that i shouldn't have done and uh i literally just sit at home and watch movies and after that i'm like yo my body felt weak like going back to the gym that sucked because like i'll be doing bench press and like my whole right arm would be like weaker. And then eventually I just did it so that my body would get back to normal. But like, I don't know, man, I was just hanging out. People are like, I started going out. I started hanging with my brother's friends and all that. And they're all like super jacked and juiced up.

And then you just see me in the corner and I'm like, yo, that's pencil Mason over there. So I'm like, do you ever get upset when you go out? Upset? Yeah. No. Really? Never. When I go out, I look to get rejected at least once.

Really? I do. Yeah, man. You slay out there, dude. Well, yeah. Because you pipe it up, bro. The goal is to get rejected like once. Just get out of the way.

And I learned that from a friend of mine. I have a friend. His main goal is to get rejected. He'll go up to someone he knows he's not going to get and just, like, get rejected, like, the worst way possible. And he's like, let's go. Like, he started the day off strong. Because once you get that out of the way, you're fine. Not every girl is going to want you.

I think I just, like, dude, I'm, like, really romantic, dude, but I'm, like, really immature at the same time. They just walk up to a girl and, like, yo, I want to make love. Dude, like, I went out with, I caught up with a buddy over the weekend this weekend or like recently past weekend Mm-hmm. So we went out this is my first time going out in Boston and this girl was like, hey There's a lot of beautiful woman here like which one you're gonna talk to and I was like, oh, I mean you're beautiful And I'm talking to you dude Crushed it easy to that's all you have beautiful and i'm talking to you dude crushed it easy dude that's all you have to do a few minutes later dude i crop dusted the entire dance floor like dude people

were freaking out like dudes were freaking out i think a fight broke out i was dude i was in tears laughing really yeah dude so like dude i can start off strong but like then i'm like oh wait dude like you think you know you like remember who you are man yeah yeah and then i like let it be known exactly i don't like pretending you know i'm saying so like i'll be talking to a girl and i'll be like wait a second dude you're john psyche dude yeah like you tell fart jokes yeah you're the man. But, like, if she knew, different story. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but eventually they'll know.

Like, I think... I mean, we've been saying that for years, dude. Yeah. But the only way I can pull it off is if I'm like, hey, just long walks on the beach. Of course, yeah. Your hope is romantic.

I'm the same way. Like, I want, like, eventually... But I have that romanticism. Like, all the notebook, a walk to remember, like, all hope is romantic. I'm the same way. Like, I want, like, eventually. But I have that romanticism. Like, all the notebook, a walk to remember, like, all that's still in my brain. Yeah, but that's good to have. Because, like, you know what's funny? Like, you talk to girls sometimes and, like, you watch those movies to prepare yourself to be like, yo, she's going to want to watch something romantic. And then they're like, I want to watch The Office.

Yeah. I'm like, I've watched this seven times. Like, I don't want to watch this. You want to let them know that you're into those sentimental stuff like when i was a kid me and my mom or my mom and i i think that's how you say my mom and i you'd watch as the world turns days of our lives like all those soap operas together i can name all the characters yeah and like i mean those do those lifetime movies that we watch like they're backwards yeah they're always in like living in mansions and shit.

But, like, hey, when you... Even, like, the Notebook's kind of backwards. Like, when you go out, though, like, what's your, um... Like, how do you... Like, what's your go-to,

like, pick-up thing? Like, when you want to go talk to a chick, like, what do you do? Um... I think there was a phase where, like, I would get really depressed

when I went out. Yeah. Sit in the corner and cry. Yeah. Sit in the corner yeah sit in the corner and cry and like hope a girl walks over to you and say like what happened well dude i went a while without drinking you know what i mean that's good though so my mind was super clear so like positives are super clear but when your mind's that clear like the negatives are also super clear

yeah so um like when i when i go out now, I just try to like, as of recently, I just tell myself like, dude, no one gives a fuck. Like literally no one gives a fuck. No one does. No one, dude, no one knows you. Like no one gives a fuck. Just fucking do you. Whatever happens, happens.

Yeah. And like that works, but I think, uh, i think being myself is what makes me depressed well like because you think people like judge it or whatever like you overthink it sometimes yeah like i know they will you know what i'm saying yeah but like in my head like i feel like i shouldn't have to tell someone that yeah like one time i was uh like it all depends like going out in public i hate when people are like they think they know you yeah they're like oh i know i know you like you're you know what i mean that makes me mad it's like you don't know me you don't know me literally you don't know me son like that shit pisses me off yeah so like they'll know you from

like probably like five years ago from like walking by the hallways and shit but like they don't like know who you are like you change quickly everyone changes like yeah every year like you're a new person but like who i like who i am on stage like that's me that's you yeah that's who i am so like when people see me out and like you know maybe maybe it looks cool but it's like no dude like i'm still that same guy. I'm just, you know. Just a normal human being. Yeah.

You're like Dave Chappelle, dude. Yeah. It must get annoying. You have some funny jokes. Do you ever get annoyed if someone comes up to you just having a conversation? Like, yo, say a joke. I'm afraid. To say a joke in public? it's like on the spot like that or yeah i mean that'll bother anyone yeah i get annoyed when people say i'm a comedian

because like i'm an open micer and i'm just like pursuing a dream yeah you know what i mean i don't care if people bring me down but i get upset when people like you know they have the wrong idea yeah because then eventually the next question that comes up is like oh you're a comedian say a joke and then you're like yeah like i don't want anyone to know unless they're there yeah i like to keep it there at the uh at that setting because it's like really intimate and there's like a time and a place for everything um but yeah dude that'll that'll bother me when like, cause I just feel like I'm like, I mean, it's okay to go out like sometimes,

but when you go out every single week and you do the same shit over and over again, like in your head, you start to like question and be like, yo, what is the goal here? You know what I mean? And like,

for me, if I'm doing that a lot, I'm like, yo, I'm, this is like a distraction. Don't get me wrong. It's fun once in a while, is the goal here you know what i mean yeah and like for me if i'm doing that a lot i'm like yo i'm this is like a distraction don't get me wrong it's fun once in a while but if you're doing a lot it's like dude you're time the clock's ticking dude you know what i'm saying so that's that's what eats me dude that's why i get depressed because like if i'm talking to some like chick or whatever and i'm like yeah yeah i majored in finance whatever in the back of my head i'm like

dude i could be telling, fart jokes right now. Yeah, and you know what's fucking, like, I hate that, too. Like, now that I'm older, like, we're both, like, 25, like, it feels weird. Like, I talked to some girl at a place called The Trap in East Greenwich, and she's like, what do you do? I'm like, I'm a banker. And, like, the first, the second you say that,

they think, like, you're a millionaire. And I'm like, nah, I make, like, an average salary, you know? But then I feel like I'm like, I'm a banker. And the first second you say that, they think you're a millionaire. And I'm like, nah, I make an average salary. But then I feel like I'm old. Because I'm like, how old are you? And I'm like, at this time, I was 24. She was 21 or 22. And she was, oh, my God, you're old. And that hit me.

And I'm like, yo, I'm not even that old. But some girls, I just felt like like damn like do i have to get married or something like i feel like i gotta rush it but like no i just don't even try i don't even try anymore like i think the best time i've ever picked up a girl was i was at a house party and it was like halloween and i'm just sitting in the corner and it was just like a really hot chick and i wasn't even talking to her i was just sitting there and she had like two of her friends like talking to her like some guys like walking over you know the typical guy that like will go over like saying where's my hog yeah and i'll like just casually stare at her a couple times and then she'll like look at me and

she goes what are you doing and i was like nothing and like she was a flirt so she goes well are you gonna talk to anyone and i'm like yeah i'll talk to people i was just like chilling i was a little obviously i was a little high like i was just like sitting there because well how do you expect the girl to talk to you i was like i'm talking to you right now aren't i dude you love that so we were talking all night and then um i don't know that's when i learned like dude it's not hard to like talk to people you just have to go out there and just like just do it but i know what you're saying like i've been going out every weekend and it's getting sick like it's getting old like maybe my scenery have to change like what's it like being in bought like do you like being in boston now like is it a lot

different from like where you used to be or no it's the same shit everywhere yeah this is different people maybe but no man i mean like there's like there's more attractive women and there's like cooler things to do but it's at the end of the day it's the same thing it's the same thing it's it's a scenery to like yeah people go out for a reason. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you go out because you're trying to find that. Like, dude. That mate.

There's like, you know, there's like your perception and then there's like reality. You know what I mean? Like, I can think all I want about like my fascinations and shit like that. But at the end of the day, man, like, dude, there's Chads and Brad's out there, bro. Dude. They're going gonna take over you know what sucks like my older brother like i love him but he's like super jacked not like super jacked but he's like he's a pretty boy like he's always had like that the good genetics i mean

i think i'm a handsome guy like it's a confidence thing everyone you just have to say that to yourself like i'm mason or pose i'm a handsome guy i'm gonna be able to like pull whatever but like reality hits me sometimes and like if i'm standing next to my brother like i was talking to some girl once and we were like friends we were hitting it off y'all saying some funny stuff this and that dude like i have to use my words like i have to like finagle you know just like be funny be genuine he just walks by and he and i was like hey you know like he doubted me i'll be give me a hug she goes oh my god who's that i'm like? I'm like, oh, that's my brother. She goes, that's your brother?

I was like, yeah. And she goes, does he like sex? Instantly, I'm like, of course he loves sex. Why? You want me to? And at this point, I didn't even, like, want to talk to her anymore. So I was like, yeah. Yeah, you like sex.

You want to go talk to him? She goes, yeah. So, like, they talked for, like, five seconds. She wanted, like, nothing to do with her. And then she, like, tried to talk to me again. And I was like, I wasn't even into her anymore but like that type of stuff that's what kind of like motivated me to go to the gym because i'm like i gotta get like you know on his level at least because he's like a huge inspiration to me but um dude you gotta do it for yourself man oh i do it for myself

too this makes you feel better like waking up in the morning like i don't know like just it makes you feel like it makes you feel like I did something for the day yeah just like looking in the mirror you're like dude I fucking did that shit I did that shit today I sculpted that shit bro because after

for a little while dude like I was like literally I felt like I was getting old like it was like literally going to work go home take a nap

eat some food play some games go to bed like doing that every day like I just felt like that's why I wake up early I wake up at 5 dude because

I don't know how you do that the day goes by slower man the clock is ticking bro you know what i'm saying yeah clock's ticking every day you wake up early man like day goes by a little slower you know yeah you get more sunlight in yeah dude there is like a really there's a moment in the morning where you see the sunrise dude just smell It's just smell like the dew, bro. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's such a good feeling, dude. It's a weird feeling.

It feels like when you're a kid. You smell like the Scott's Turf Grow, dude. A what? Scott's Turf Grow. What's that? It's a sponsor, bro. No. But, dude, I'm happy you came, man. I know.

I'm glad you invited me. So it's cool, man. It took you like a few minutes to get settled in, dude. But overall, man, I'm happy you came man i know i'm glad you invited me dude this was cool man took you like a few minutes to get settled in dude but overall man i'm happy you came dude thank you and uh everything you want to say dude to the people um make sure you make sure you tune in next week for this next podcast uh no thanks for coming dude you have a great setup honestly like i've seen it actually in person too like i didn, I didn't think it was, like, this good. Like, obviously,

I know you did good, but, like, you have an official setup, everything, the lights, everything, the posters, dude, everything's nice. I love it. Don't fuck around, dude.

No, this is the real deal. Thanks, man. Thanks for being a good friend, dude. Absolutely. I'm glad we were, like, you know, connected. It's been a little while,

you know? Yeah. We had a little fallout. Of course, that's probably my fault, mainly. Stop talking, but... Yeah. I don't know. I'm just glad I'm talking to you again yeah good friends mr crime but nah all right