The Johnny Salami Podcast - Michael Rowland

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Michael Rowland by The Johnny Salami Podcast

I think I took a shit in my neighbor's lawn. Yeah. Well I love you madly dear, and I need you badly dear. Why did you leave me here, without your love? Oh, I'm hurting. I mean it's much warmer than it is outside. It's alright. It's feeling feels okay Did your your nipples get hard when it gets cold out? Brother, my nipples get hard almost all the time. Really?

Yeah. They're weirdly hard nipples. I'm kind of proud of it. Yeah. Yeah, I like them. When they're soft, I pinch them to get them hard. Wow. And now I think I've developed a slight tick where I sort of constantly am doing a slight bit of nipple play to keep them. Yeah, keep

them perked up. I should do the same thing when I was younger, man. But it was because I was like, morbidly obese. And when I like pinched my nipples, dude, my titties kind of shrunk a little bit. Yeah. So it's constantly just pinching my nipples. Okay, dude I think we're coming from the same place because I used to be fat as well And I had nipples that went in really so when they finally came out I was like we got to keep them out Yeah, you know I don't mean to be disrespectful man, but have you ever seen your mom's tits?

No, never really never not once not once and I'm grateful for that fuck man. What about you? Have you seen your mom's tits? I think so, but I just can't remember. Well, that's probably good. I like to think like we have The same nips though. Yes. I feel like I have pretty feminine nipples And I feel like I probably got that from her how how how big are we talking? Are you nips? I mean dude if I'm fat like morbidly obese Bigger we talking are your nips. I mean dude if I'm fat like morbidly obese Kid brains I would say I'm on the borderline of like salami and pepperoni. Oh right on that border. Yeah, you know

When I lose weight though did for some reason my nipples get small it gets small I don't know what's going on. Are we talking like quarters if they're hard man like they're hard right now You know and you can kind of seem a little bit. I can see yeah, but do they change size? It's fucking awesome. It's kind of beautiful. I love it. It's like the Pupil of an eye. Yeah, but dude, have you ever worn like when you were fat? Have you ever worn like an underarmor shirt to suck it all in those performance shirts? And your nipples are like not hard and you got to walk by a girl or something It's like you might as well have tits. Might as well just fucking kill yourself dude. Dude 100%. Yeah that's like my ultimate fear man. What having to walk by a girl? Having the wind fuck you and your nipples aren't hard. And then they just see. You gotta walk by your fucking

lover dude and just be like this is what we're working with right now. That's real. You know? Yeah. When you say morbidly obese how big were you? I think I was like I was like 180 in fifth grade It's probably five ten five eleven maybe man, you're not even I don't what is your range for morbidly obese You sound like you were just a heavyset guy. Well, I'm thinking when I was when I was overweight. I remember having to lose Heavyset guy. Well, I'm thinking when I was when I was overweight. I remember having to lose 25 pounds just to play football. So that's how like overweight. You were too fat for football Yeah, there was a weight limit Wow in the Peewee League. Oh Yeah, so that was like fifth. Yeah, that was fifth grade man. I could tell you some crazy numbers

I was putting up I was I was four foot eleven going into high school. Oh shit. Yeah. Short little guy, fat tits. I was about 160 pounds. Holy shit. Nipples went in. I got to school and nobody thought I was in high school. They would ask me questions. They were like, hey, are you like a genius? Did you skip grades? Yeah, like no A tiny little guy is at his proper grade. Holy shit I know I could show you a picture after this or during this on wild because you kind of look like Tom Cruise right now Dude, man, that's really nice you to say same height that went to a height doctor when I was a kid Uh-huh, and because I was still so short and I endocrinologist and they were like you should be five-seven when you're growing up and I was a kid and because I was still so short, endocrinologist and they were like,

you should be five seven when you're growing up and I was like, thank God. Yeah. It was like, I mean that's short, but at the time I was like, that's amazing. Can we talk about it dude? Like, do you have like a small man syndrome? You ever like start throwing haymakers?

I think I do. I, yeah, I feel angry a lot. I'm very sensitive to feeling like people are like disrespecting me. I don't like it when other grown men touch me on the top of the head. Yeah, that's disrespectful, man. Also, my dad is shorter than me and like he's got it bad. Like he was in the military when he was young. He was one of those dudes that got tall in middle school and was probably mean to kids and then everybody got bigger than him So we just got fucking jacked shit. He's like one of those short

Jack dudes. Yeah, and Just a very pugnacious man vicious man Could be a little vicious. He's like I remember when my grandmother passed away and I was in Savannah for her funeral and his old friends were popping up there like your dad would you show up to my house? Knock on the door and try to fight me in the front. I was like what they're like He's just trying to fight motherfuckers If I have that I got a friend but I got taller later not tall but I didn't there wasn't a point in middle school where I was like

Just fucking other kids up. So yeah That confidence yeah, man at that age don't really know what's going on in their heads You know, you just see a kid throwing haymakers and you're like, yeah Like my dad could have been that guy like a butter bean type, you know I wish like at that age you kind of had like emotional intelligence. Oh, yeah, it's people people now man, you know, they don't even know, you know you see someone that's like Clinically depressed and you're like don't look so happy man. Yeah, it's like bro. Come on man, like You know, so that's how I try to be respectful around like shorter people

But I feel like it should be you know Like I don't like the short ones that just get mad automatically. No. No, it's a bad look I'm trying to work on not being as mad. I think I got mad lately I don't think I was always just mad but always very like Attuned to disrespect but it's the thing where you're just like so he disrespects me I'm gonna fuck him up, and then they do it you're like You're like Whatever yeah, so when you were like fat short, dude, and you had like titties and shit Mm-hmm did anyone ever like fuck with your tits and shit they in Boy Scouts. They gave me the nickname bosoms It's not that bad not terrible and the guy that gave me that nickname is a priest now Wow, yeah

You're thinking about going to the going to his location do the fucking throne thrown up. No Locations hilarious, you know fucking funny that would be There's always a moment where they give someone a chance to like either like make an announcement, you know, like Yeah, there's always like at my church. They let you speak out if someone passed away in your life Mm-hmm. So you that'd be funny if you raised your hand You know, and you're like I I got something to say you're like the old Michaels dead start fucking my own hand makers Yeah, I think I could rock your shit really Really? If I'm keeping it a buck. Yeah.

In the, in church? I don't know if I, I'm still scared of church. Yeah, man, it is scary, dude, but if there's- I'd catch him outside. Really? Would you approach him by foot or like in the car? I'd approach him by foot. I would try to do it honorably

I think I would announce it in church. I'd say Tim the Dahl ski I'm a different guy and I'll see you outside and I'd let him shake hands But I would like stand out there and stare at him till he was done shaking Yeah, and then he probably try to walk up and say something like Hey, I know I know you're mad and then I'd say something like the time for talking is done. Yeah That's pretty intense man. Yeah, you think you'd strike fear into him. I I do yeah, I hope and if not I Guess that would rile me up a whole bunch. Yeah, and then I'd really be

Frothing at the mouth. You having flashbacks the whole fucking time To him calling me bosoms if I'm being honest We actually had a pretty good thing going on real we would do bits together before after or during During so it's kind of like mixed emotions. Yeah, I feel that man That's always how it goes, but he this guy burned me my first comedy CDs He burned me a bunch of Jeff Fox worthy CDs That I would listen to all the time. Wow, it was a really how do you burn a CD? Never burn a CD Johnny. It's like some old shit, right? That's old shit. Yeah

Yeah, you would burn CDs for me in elementary school. That's just like copying his current one and giving you like a... Yeah, it's like downloading the CD onto a computer and then you burn that whole CD onto a blank disc. Yeah. He was handing them out for free. Yeah, he was just hooking me up for the love of comedy. He was like, check this out. So it kind of, there was kind of like a payoff, I guess. Yeah. And I think at the time, bosoms didn't actually upset me. I think I took it in stride. Yeah, I think I was like that's fair Yeah, did I miss um, is there like a part of you that kind of misses being fat? No Because you are like a no homo like a good looking dude. You think so you think if you could go back

At this point in your life, you think you would or you're kind of like happy You think I would go back you're asking me if I would go back to middle school in your life, you think you would? Are you kind of like happy? You think I would go back? You asked me if I would go back to middle school. I think about that all the time, dude. You know how fucking funny I was, dude? That is true. So much funnier. I got away with saying a lot of shit.

Yeah. Yeah. But see, you're also a good looking dude and you're tall. You got a deep voice, you got a mustache, and you got a real chill vibe. I feel like you're the guy that women would be like I just feel safe around him Yeah, a lot of women they call me tender dude. Is that right? So they say that's really amazing Yeah, I'm not really like big on getting pussy though, so I'm just trying to like be You know, I'm trying to like when you say you're not big on getting pussy

It's like it's not your thing or it's it's it can be hard to do or I'm just like an emotional guy, man How do you mean? You know, you want to catch feelings pretty fast and uh, I usually like uh, the girl usually ends things man, and then I usually just uh, I get emotional man, you know, I go to the gym Max out on calf raises. Oh, yeah, and i'll listen to like three doors down. What do your calves look like? They're not that big man unless i'm like at a good angle yeah that's why you got to raise them you're trying to juice them I'm just trying to fucking just that combination dude of doing cav raises in three doors down in my head I'm like I wonder if some chicks looking at me right now are

you listening to Superman the song yeah if I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? Oh yeah, that's Three Doors Down. That's the only Three Doors Down song I know. Listen to that dude, listen to Vanessa Carlton dude. Never listened to her. What is that? Can't believe you man. You know that song, A Thousand Miles.

You want to sing it for me? I can't dude, I'm going to embarrass myself. I'm not like you dude, I'm not skilled in the acting You seem like you're skilled in acting. What do you think I'd be good at? What do I think you'd be good at? You were like a producer like what type of role do you would you put me in? I put you in a role That's similar to what you're doing now. Really? Yeah Just like a like a therapist or something? Sort of like a quiet, ironic... Yeah.

I feel like if you were a good producer, you'd just have me do like a one-liner type situation. No, man. I'd give you at least five lines. For real? But you'd be doing stuff. It'd be like yes and no's. That's what I can say, dude. But like, people would remember me, right? Have you tried acting? They'd remember you. Yeah. I just want to remember dude

Yeah, you know other me too. I was thinking about that while I peed in your toilet for real like about your legacy Yeah, my legacy. Yeah, I don't think it's gonna be what I want I think that's why people get old and they get sad yeah I think it's gonna happen at some point then you hit an age and you go I guess not Yeah, you're like dude. I should have made out with that fucking chick Yeah, then you start regretting all the the chicks you didn't make out with yeah There's so many opportunities, but you could have just gone in That is the one thing when you talk about going back in time

I would like to go back and witness stuff from my childhood like in a You know in like a Christmas Carol sort of way like Ghost of Christmas Pass is toting me around and I'm looking at shit I think we misremember a lot. It might be nice just to watch stuff. Yeah Happened yeah If I could go back man, I would just scream penis more like I was more in penis every day Where just all throughout school?

And in public because it's hilarious up till I turned 18 because there's really no repercussions What do you think that would do for you though? I think would boost my self-esteem. I'd be fucking so funny I do think it is a pretty good exercise in realizing, you know speak up. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah, speak your mind. Yeah, dude. Speak your mind shout penis in a big Audience crowd see that you're gonna be fine. When's the last time you scream penis man? Probably last week. Yeah, where would you let it rip man? I was orgasming for real Yeah, where would you let it rip? Man, I was orgasming. For real?

I've never tried that, man. I gotta try that. Yeah, some people scream different stuff when they come, but I like to scream penis. Oh wow. It's as you're coming or as you're- Yeah, that's where it's all going. Holy shit, man.

You just rocked my fucking world. Holy shit, man. I think I just lost like five years of my life. I've never even thought about that That's when you shout it. What is it? What does it feel like when you scream it man? Shit, I mean it feels like you're coming. You know what I mean? Yeah That's like a long penis too. Yeah I actually really accentuate the s I go penis. Yeah

Towards the end. Yeah, that's like that that kind of matches the feeling to mm-hmm Feel like a little snake dude who got away. Yeah, you could also shout out or you could whisper while you're peeing pee Yeah, I don't know if that's a little weird, but yes I'm just you know I'm just riffing it out with a dog. Yeah, I mean I know dudes who like Do some weird stuff when they're like pissing and like jerking off and stuff. What do you mean? What do they do? I went on a date once in Long Island, dude, and I told this chick I was like I'm gonna go piss and I go into the bathroom, dude There's this guy next to me at the urinal next to me dude, and I thought he was possessed man

he was uh he was like reenacting the exorcist dude like fucking tweaking out but he was like I'm pretty sure he was speaking in Latin dude I'm not even kidding man while he pissed whole time he was grunting like fucking freaking out did it feel like maybe he's just holding it in for a long time and then he was like no dude I'm almost positive was satanic he had intentions of like summoning some fucking demons and I was pissing that demon out Yeah, you know what I mean you think it was he was trying to get it out. Yeah, it's how you get rid of it Yeah, I mean I could have asked him but I

Don't know man. I don't want to like fucking get cursed or something. Yeah. Yeah, that's the unit You don't talk to people at the urinals no matter any whatever they're doing Yeah, cuz like dude if he casts a spell on me or something you know I could I could have came out of the closet You know what I mean? I don't want that yeah I'm just not ready for that yet man You think he was gonna cast a spell on you and then it was gonna be like you saying like I'm gay Yeah, like that my date. I'm sorry, but I'm gay I date she's like hey, I'm sorry, but I'm gay

Hey, so how'd the rest of the date go after you said I'm gonna take a piss it's pretty good man But I know their heartbreak situation. You know Asian woman But yeah, man, I feel like I always Yeah, man, I just feel like I always like the girl more than the girl likes you Yeah, man, have you ever tried just locking up those emotions a little bit just saving them So I can go a few days man, but you feel compelled I have to let it out dude. I want to feel it. Yeah, it doesn't seem like you like inauthentic action. Yeah, you want to be you Like dude if I was blowing heaters into chicks non-stop just fucking sploogen and chicks

Letting it rip. Mm-hmm Screaming Beyblades every time I scream like fucking came in chicks just did that for like a month. Mm-hmm I would fucking lose my mind dude emotionally. I'd fucking spiral out of control I'd have to write each and every one of those chicks a letter about like the other chicks I didn't pull out in I'd probably become a man of God like I'd lose my you know I'm just like a single. I'm a very loyal man. You know wow I think I just watched like too many Lifetime movies when I was younger And I think that's being fat and watching like high school musical man like that'll fuck you up, dude. That's real

That's real well You're better than a lot of guys that used to be fat that lost weight Some guys lose weight and they they turn into monsters just because they're not fat anymore They think they deserve all the the poon in the world Yeah, now that I feel that man and you become a bad guy and you think I can't be a bad guy I used to be fat as shit. Yeah, are you fucking smacking titties around like fucking Wimbledon man? I don't know about that. Yeah, I You know I'm around but I'm looking for love man. I'm just not finding it I'm trying to like catch your drift you like feel your vibe and I like I don't know

What do you mean? All right, man, like you're an actor. Let's like I'm a come on throw you a yeah actor and comedian Do you prefer that? Like when people, like, if you could choose one. I don't like, I don't want to, I mean I've done stand-up for so long now. It's how I got the acting job. Yeah. So. You prefer actor and comedian.

I prefer comedian and actor. Oh shit. Yeah. A little backwards. That's fucking sick, man. Yeah, dude. Let me run a situation by you do hit me say you and I At the bar. Mm-hmm. We're having a little heart-to-heart kind of having right now man drinking like a few bud lights No down. No, you start talking to a chick and I'm just alone

Mm-hmm. She's like yo, you want to come back to my place and fucking smack my titties around. Mm-hmm What are you doing? And I'm with you. Yeah, we're having a heart-to-heart I Mean are you like are you in emotional turmoil? Is there something wrong? I just have nowhere to go like you were you know, I was you were my ride Well, then I would for this smoking I would say hey, yeah, I'm down but I gotta drop my buddy That's like we're like an hour away from home Wow, do you see really okay? I think I know that you're doing whatever it takes

What if I can echo that lady and also we can hang out again some Whatever it takes. What if I can act with that lady and also we can hang out again some Dude for real I'd be like dude this guy is not for the boys man, you know, you're only you're boy centric Yeah, I get it. I'm just trying to catch your vibe. Have you had have you had a bud do that to you and you were hurt by it Hi, uh, one of my boys I grew up with dude, uh Asian fellow man Keep bringing up with their age to be I just want to like really paint a picture for you, man Uh-huh, dude. We went to uh went to a rugby party in college. We bought we weren't on the team at this school. Mm-hmm and his uh his house probably, I think it was about 10 miles away. And so we're at this party, dude, having a heart to heart talking about like a child or whatever.

This chick walks up to him, starts sucking his face, dude. I just left. Mm-hmm. I just left I Start walking home and I realize about a mile in I'm hammered and I don't know where I am Dude so it starts raining there's like an actual storm And I'm walking through people's like yards just tripping like falling and my phone dies so finally I make it to like this main road and I'm like dude I have no idea where I am went into a Cumberland farms I go hey can you guys call the cops and they're like what I was like yeah I don't have a I don't have a phone right now Like I don't have money for like a phone charger. I need a ride home, dude

So they called the cops and I'm like hammered. I'm blasted I'm just sitting at this table at a Cumberland farm Cops roll through man. They see me just sitting alone. So like what's going on man? I'm like dude. I don't have a phone Staying at my buddy's house man like I need a need a ride home, and he was like yeah, man We're not really like a taxi service And I was like where you were you at like was your friends and I go oh, it's like Sovereign bonnet shores, and he's like dude. That's like a 20 minute drive Dude he ended up

bringing me there are you serious yeah I was having a heart to heart with this guy in the car you know I told him the truth he was like yeah man like we were just like hitting it off but dude when my Asian friend got home he was pissed so mad he was like dude why would you leave why wouldn't you try to get with a girl? And I was like, I don't know, man. Like, I just saw you making out with that chick and like, it broke my heart. Why wouldn't you tell him you were leaving?

Why wouldn't you? I would do that all the time. There's so what? I don't know what it was, man. Listen, man, I don't want you to feel judged, but that's weird. And I will also say, if I was leaving with that girl, and I would communicate with you, as long as you don't just leave, like if you just left,

I wouldn't be able to help. But I would be like, hey, let me give you money for a taxi, or let me get you a lift. I know you came here with me. I would do any number of things before abandoning you. I want you to know that I just want you to know I wouldn't do that now this was like when I was when I was drinking it was kind of like a Like a product of my drinking are you off to leave? I would do a lot of Irish goodbyes. Yeah Oh, yeah, how long you been off the booze? I?

Mean, I'm not completely sober, but I'm pretty much a sober man, you know, but that's what I used to do man I would get hammered. He's still drink. Sometimes you don't drink at all every once in a while man. I'm like a special occasion That's cool. Sounds like you got it. I kind of mastered that whole thing though of like not leaving, you know being more responsible, but Yeah, one time I was like Black out drunk, dude. Mm-hmm. I'm alone on my friend couch, and I'm watching like a classic rock music videos like AC DC live and shit and Just chillin man vibing and I hear him upstairs getting after with a chick Like I hear the orgasm sounds and I go fuck this man. I'm leaving

And dude I was like black out drunk dude so I opened up the front door like tripped on the front steps and just fell asleep but I like almost it was it could have been bad man I could have like died honestly where do you where did you where were you going I was gonna drive an hour home I know dude but it got that bad man, you know? Yeah, I know it goes. There was a time I was living in Los Angeles and I went to a Lithuanian festival with my buddy Linus. Yeah, there's a bunch of Lithuanians in Los

Angeles and they have a festival and I went and everybody just gets ripped and I went and I got drunk, and I got kicked out of the Lithuanian festival, which is hard. I didn't get kicked out. I left, I ate snacks while I laid in a parking lot. Which, you're high or drunk? I was drunk.

And then I went back and they were like, you can't come back in. And I was like, fuck this. And then I walked somewhere where I could get a train and I went into a bar and I'm kind of browning out at this point and I drink with a guy at the bar. And then I think I went to the train and I blacked out. This was in, I mean, this was in like Los Feliz.

I blacked out and I woke up on a bus in Chatsworth which is like very very far like on a bus in Chatsworth it's on the other side of the San Fernando Valley I'm alone on the bus in the bus driver stops not at a bus stop just on the street and walks up to me and goes hey man where you going? I go oh man um right here is cool and he drops me at a gas station and I walk in phones dead I have like I have a credit card so I'm like can you call me a taxi and they call me a taxi and I spent the last of my money on a taxi back to my house Oh, and then how are you feeling? I didn't drink for a year after that. Yeah, I Just shut it down

Was like emotional like it was an emotional experience. Yeah, I just felt like that was bad Yeah, it was you can't wake up on a bus like 20 miles from where you were Did you feel like at the time though you could accomplish like that journey? Yeah. Like did you think the train was going to take you to like glory? Dude yeah I thought I was going to do it. I thought I was going to take the train. I mean the public transportation system in Los Angeles is dog shit so I was like I mean it was a trek but I had to get to the red line get the red line to the orange line Because I lived in the valley. It was a mess man. Yeah

Yeah, I Did have getting sober a little bit after college man What what brought on what was the final move? I like legit thought I was retarded and like I still do But yeah, this teacher kind of hooked me up with an internship and I had never had an internship before and it kind of felt like a make-a-wish man you know like she was really like rooting for me and so like one day I'm like hammered at this like this day party probably had like I don I don't know, man, 10 drinks or so.

You know, I'm having the time of my life and I get a text from her and she goes, hey, like did you put in your hours this week? And I was like, ah, like, like how much time do I have? She's like, till the end of like today, you had to put in like six hours in the the computer lab At school is like an at school internship, dude

So I'm fucking Hammered dude. I take the take the bus Go into the computer lab like in this like building this app academic building And I'm like dude, I get a shit so fucking bad like I'm going up the elevator. I'm like, bro I'm gonna like legit shit my pants dudes, why I go into the bathroom on that floor and I just pop one off like take the biggest shit of my life and Dude I like didn't wash my hands Go into the computer lab and there's this chick who's also doing the internship and I sit next to her and I start like typing

up this report And I'm just like her and I start like typing up this report And I'm just like dude. It smells like fucking shit, dude I was like it smells like fucking shit right now and then I do I look down and my whole hand is just covered My god and and so I'm like, oh fuck and I don't know if she could smell it And did I get up and I'm like fuck dude, I go back to the bathroom I wash my hands and then I had to go back to the computer lab and just Type up reports for like six hours just copped next to this girl But dude when I took a shit like I completely missed I just like wipe my ass with my hand and had no fucking clue dude

But I thought I was crying. I thought I wiped perfectly like And after that I was like bro you have like an issue. Did she say anything? She no she said hey, how's it going? She no she said hey, how's it going very very nice lady, and did you get any shit on the computer, bro? I was this close to being like do you smell that? It was bad, that's crazy yeah, you cut it off after that Yeah, that was kind of like the starting point, and then I went to like some finance convention for the same internship. Mm-hmm Dude, it was here in New York City man. They had like a bunch of like big swinging dicks In like an auditorium. There's like 500 college kids. They're talking about like markets and stuff. I fucking barely know how to read dude. Mm-hmm

I got everyone there from like the finance club the internship, you know Dude, I was like so hungover I brought like a bunch of like energy drinks and stuff my teacher was like we're gonna sit right in the front like You know so we can hear everyone speak dude And I bro, I'm just like fucking I'm sitting like this and I'm like dude Just stay awake. Just stay awake like you just have to like fight through this Dude, I fell asleep and my head just smashes the table And like the force from the table like woke me up

Dude everyone everyone kind of like jolted and I was just like alright like just play it off Sorry The force from the table woke me out Bro in front of like Bloomberg, dude, I don't know I don't know who that guy is bro, but some dude from Bloomberg I don't know if he like owns it or some shit, but he was talking man. I was just like Did you teach your notice? Yeah, dude, everyone in the front row was like what the fuck is going on But I stayed awake and like pulled it off and like I kind of feel like they knew

You know, well, it's you know polite society. They're like, we'll just just gonna keep it moving. Yeah Where'd you go to school? Edward Island a school called Johnson and Wales man. Sounds like a cool ass school Very laid-back man. It sounds like your teacher really liked you Did you ever have like an experience where you like you drank with people who you didn't really like no Like in school and stuff. You ever go on like a field trip or anything They ever go on a field trip in school. Yeah, maybe like a sleepover or something, you know that vibe No in high school we did cuz I was in like I was I was I would do theater and we took it serious

So we would go to like some we would go to like high school theater competitions Yeah, and we would go to thes con the thespians conference and it would just be a bunch of theater kids just like us hanging out in a hotel fucking smoking weed getting fucked up like at a motel next to an abandoned Waffle House and our teachers being like just like hiding it from the teachers, but so clearly all just that's the vibe I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, those are good times. We had that man. We were in like a hotel and like The first time I'd ever been in New York City, man. We were in like a hotel Like the Hilton, I think it was mm-hmm

And I remember just being with these lesbians dude dude, and just thinking about getting a hand job. You know what I mean? Jesus Christ. Yeah, dude, these chicks were a beat, but it was just like, you just get that vibe, you know, you're like, we're on a road trip. Like, everybody's being a little crazy. Yeah, dude. You know, did you have any like, in theater, do you have any like crushes? I had crushes, but I didn't. I didn't have my first kiss till I was like 18 because I was so short and fat Yeah, and it really put a put a hurtin on my confidence. I think so I had crushes, but it never materialized into Anything. Yeah When did you start doing theater?

When I was a kid my mom Um, when I was a kid, my mom sent me to like a theater camp at Georgia Tech back in Atlanta. Just something to do over the summer. And we did the final performance and my mom was like, you're good at this. And she just started like, and I enjoyed it. So she started putting me into these. They also sent me like a stand-up comedy summer camp Around that time too. Yeah, so I just started doing all that stuff as a kid. Did you feel like a little bit closeted? No, everybody Thought I was gay. So from a young age, I was really combing my spirit to be like am I?

Like i'm talking about it on stage now But I used to let my big cousins dress me up like a girl Like I'm talking about it on stage now, but I used to let my big cousins dress me up like a girl Well, cuz I thought that shit ripped. Yeah, it was like they would like do my nails and do my makeup And yeah, I get like they all loved it and I was like look at all this I was like I love this and my dad would just be like Jesus fucking cry I'm like can't stop it that takes a man, bro And you know, I ended up going to like an arts high school in Atlanta so like

You know, it's a lot of like genuinely gay kids like yeah, you're pretty quickly It's you know, you're able to get a handle on like, oh, no, these guys are gay and I'm yeah I'm still nervous to talk to a girl. Yeah, I'll talk to any guy That's pretty sick man start start quantifying it differently. Yes, you were like Emotionally open. Oh Take pride in it. Yeah, cuz it was like I Remember we were at one theater camp and we were still young Usually when you're really mean to kids that are gay and there was like one kid that had Two dads and another kid was making fun of him and we all went to his room like this is theater camp

We'll beat the shit out of you. Don't you get that? We're like you can't make fun of people for being gay here. Are we gonna rock your shit? Yeah, and then some chick just starts making out with you. Yeah, that's what you hope. Yeah, that's the hope Yeah, man, that's how I used to feel to feel when I used to wear my mom's tights. If she didn't stop me, dude, I probably would have gone full on thong. Dude, like I would have gone all the way, dude. I had to wear I had to dress like a woman for this season of the show. And I remember being like, you know, this rips.

Yeah. My legs looked open. He ever worn Have you want to dress with no underwear? Never you got to try it out man. I'll try that one. Yeah, we should do it together man Play tag and like an open parking lot Like that would be that would be kind of gay dude, but you're telling me that wouldn't be a good time I mean that's an event like you want to talk about a fun way to spend the night Thinking outside the box bunch of boys. We all get in dresses. No underwear. Mm-hmm. We play tag

Maybe like play a little bit of flag football, dude Cuz like I'm emotionally vulnerable right now like this chick ended things man So if we were in dresses no underwear dude thrown hail Mary's dude that would boost my spirits like crazy man might bring her back to yeah every fucking throw Do I'm just thinking about letting go? You know yeah, if you came down with some nasty catches to dude I would love that yeah some dives some one-handed grabs dude where you like fall on the ground and like your fucking legs open up Yep That did make me say that couple grabs dude where you like fall on the ground and like your fucking legs open up. Yep. That did make me slightly uncomfortable. I pushed right through it. No, no man. Come on. This is what would happen. I haven't thrown a football since the pandemic.

Really? Yeah. Me and my roommate used to just go out and fucking rip passes. He was D1 dude. We got to meet up man. He was D1. I used to fucking throw Hail Marys in the Dollar Tree parking lot dude. They had lights set up and stuff, man. I'd get high as tits and just start throwing fucking like 50 yard fucking. Throwing bombs, dude. Bombs, dude. Junior size football, man.

You could really rip those. Yeah. I did notice the disparity in our throwing ability. The D1, my roommate could really rip it and I would have to, I started kicking it. But I got really good at kicking it. Yeah, if I couldn't hit matches distance for throw I fucking rip a kick. Yeah, I could really as long as you're not moving in, you know what I mean? Yeah, don't want to move in. Yeah, dude one time I did edibles with this kid and I could tell he wasn't really on board

So I go I'm like dude you trying to toss the skin man and it's like 20 degrees. He's like I guess man, you could tell he was just upset. I was like oh dude if we toss the skin man, it's gonna bring him back. You know we're gonna have a time of our life man man So I'm like super positive and he's just like he wants to fucking kill himself, dude I throw an absolute bomb So adamant about catching this ball bro, he's running his fucking dick off bro, dude, he fucking runs towards a block of ice Take off, bro. Dude, he fucking runs towards a block of ice. Full speed fucking slips and like bashes his head like.

And he was like he was panicking mad. He was like, dude, I'm fucking done. I was like I was laughing so hard hard dude, but it was just like, it was such a slow occurrence man. You know what I mean? Like I just feel like, if you're gonna run a route bro, know where you're running. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, especially if it's a deep route, you know, like that would be like an NFL player just running into the fucking post. fell player just run into the fucking post. It was so slow but so funny. Was this in Rhode Island? Yeah dude. I started meditating. For real? Yeah bro. In the morning? Morning and then you do it again in the afternoon. You watching like Bang Bust or like what are you watching? I'm trying not to watch any of it. Yeah, I used to watch my just use my mind now

Yeah, yeah, what about you you get angry you ever scrap You're never scrapped man, I've never thrown hands But yeah, man as of late I've been getting a little angry And I don't know how to deal with it man. I think it's living in this city starts to make you angry I've been here six years, and it's made me incrementally angrier Yeah, man I don't know man. I think there's just something deep inside of me. That's like I Still have that dog in me, dude. dog in me dude you know and like you play sports

now I was like a theater kid I was undersized so I never but do you know what it's like to like touch another man in what respect either in a homosexual way or non homosexual yes I'm familiar like lay hands on another man I know this feeling I mean I feel like as you get older man like you have no opportunities to just fucking crack someone's dick you know that's why people get into what you do pick up basketball there's also jujitsu is very popular now yeah you do that wrestle around I think it's just I just think about shit like Just like past experiences like being fat and stuff like do you ever think about that stuff and get angry or like when I was fat you think about like people made fun of you when you were fat and stuff and like I

think back to a couple experiences and I I use it as Fuel to be like if they could see me now. Yeah. One of those things. Yeah I get mad when people think they know who I am and they haven't like given me an opportunity to like show who I am you know. Can you give me an example? How do you mean? I do a lot of stand up and like sometimes afterwards I feel good because I'm like dude I finally feel like I can be myself around these people in front of these people and sometimes people are like oh like so that's like a bit right?

And that makes me want to like just start throwing uppercuts dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like literally just start fucking swinging at people until I fucking pass out Well, I'm saying yeah stand up will make you angry too because you're just subject to everybody's opinion Fucks yeah, they want to give your opinion their opinion about what you do and you're just like man. Shut the fuck up Yeah, dude. What the fuck do you it makes me think about other celebrities? I think people have to deal with that and like every level like Michael Jordan had to deal with people being like You know, you really fucked up during that game And you're like who the fuck are you like that would be fine if someone was like you really bombed out there I'd be like that's fair

I'm glad maybe I did But if someone was like you're not being yourself I would fucking I see you know yeah like I would just because I put so much energy into like Trying to be a genuine dude. Yeah for someone to be like oh, this is like a a bit right? Yeah. Like you're playing a character. I just want to fucking you know, but I've never scrapped dude, I've always I've always wanted to strike fear into another man. But I just feel like for me that would involve I'd probably do like a combination of something like religious and homosexual. You

know, how do you mean? Like I think I would like whip out my left nut and scream. I fear God homie like at the top my lungs Just to like scare that guy away. Yeah, like strike fear into him cuz I would really fucking throw him off Yeah, you know, it's like a weapon Yeah, maybe like a dildo or ifo fight a 12 inch dildo take that out Now i'm now see here's where my head goes you have the dildo and then you unsheath a knife from the dildo ball handle Unsheathe the knife you go because everyone's laughing when you take out a dildo and then you go watch this

You guys want to see a fucking magic trick? You go your move pal. Yeah. Yeah Wow I've always wanted to do a thing Where somebody's being disrespectful and I just look at them and I lightly smack them in the face I go, how do you feel about that? I think that's cool. Yeah, that's kind of scary dude. Honestly, how do you feel about I don't know what I would do No, you know, yeah, but I do think about if I did do that Like if I whipped out my left nut and screamed I fear God homie

If I got knocked out after that, I mean that would be it for me That is the one that's the that's the balancing thought is you're like, yeah, it would be cool to do that But then somebody just rocks your shit. Yeah shit and the cops are like asking questions to witnesses They're like yeah, you just like whipped out his left. No people saw it. Yeah. Yeah now they've logged it Now it's in a file because I mean you see it all the time if you go to a bar Do you like I've seen dudes get knocked out in front of their girlfriends and have you? Yeah, dude, what brought that on what happened? I think they started a yeah Like yo, why you looking at my fucking girl dude, and then like usually the guy who's looking is like a fucking Navy SEAL like assassin. He doesn't care dude

He's looking at titties like yeah. Yeah, so I go look at whatever the fuck I want dude And then just like I've seen dudes get fucking one punch, and I'm just like Jesus man. Yeah, Jesus I mean, that's yeah, that's that's the nightmare. Yeah, that's the big fear, but I just feel man like Like something inside of me, you know, it's just like I'm like a man dude I need to like I'm not trying to feel like a pussy anymore, dude. I'm trying to like Strike fear into another man. Maybe just like wrestle with him. Even if it's naked dude You know, yeah because afterwards I know we'd feel better man go go uh go do a jiu-jitsu thing or a wrestling thing is that what you're doing the box

yeah you're doing the jiu-jitsu yeah tell me dude how do you how do you feel afterwards though you feel good because there's guys you win against and there's guys that beat you And there's a lot of skill involved So it's like guys it makes you look at the world different because there's guys you don't think look Like anything and they're just very good at it. Obviously, it's not the whole spectrum of fighting It's not none of them are throwing punches, but yeah, you could also do boxing. That's fun Yeah, I used to I used to throw hands with this dude, man. He was like an actual mixed martial artist.

And I'd throw him $40, and he'd just show me stuff, hold the pads for me. Oh, for real? I would do that on Friday mornings, man. And the amount of stress it relieved, dude, I just felt so good, man. And yeah, I'd be laughing sometimes too because I'm like not that serious yeah dude but the days when you're angry dude it's just like go yeah go keep training somewhere you're in queens man there's got to be some good gyms yeah I mean I don't have the money or

anything like that but it's that was cool because I could find a guy who could just show me shit and it was just us out there Dude, there was during the pandemic. There was a guy in my neighborhood Who would train people and so I worked with him a couple times. I mean just dudes from the neighborhood I got I mean I got my eardrum pop once like I just took a shot to the fucking ear But then during that I met this other dude kev who was mad cool to like the train stuff so we just started training together like so we would just like Respectfully throw hands. Yeah park Wow, and then we found a space in Bushwick that you can rent out for like 30 bucks an hour with like some bags in there. You're like boxing. Yeah, or just throwing bare hands

bucks an hour with like some bags in there. You're like boxing? Yeah. Or just throwing bare hands? We were boxing. So we had gloves and some head gear, and we would just scrap on each other. And it was cool. I don't know where he is now.

We trained together for a hot minute. You think you passed away? No, no. He got married. There was one day we trained together where I just felt like I was having a heart attack or something and I seemed I Think I seemed weak in that moment. I was like I feel awful and I never saw him again after that Wow. Do you miss him dude?

Sometimes I want to text him be like, you know, let's let's train. Oh, yeah, but we we started training this other gym. That was cool in Bushwick where the Serrano sisters trained so we were watching Them train. Yeah, we trained and I remember once we got in the ring and we were just doing what we do We just move around and tag each other up and this dude from the Bronx Like an old trainer. He's all punchy, you know, he's not all there He's like, can I talk to you all for a minute and we're like yeah he goes I gotta tell you y'all look terrible man y'all in there you look bad man bad like he yeah for like 15 minutes and then at

the end I was like damn Kev I guess look bad and he was like motherfucker doesn't know shit yeah and I was like cool and then I wished I was more like Kevin Yeah, where I didn't care so much what people sounds like a good man, dude. He was mad cool I should text him. Yeah, yo, let's throw it back. Let's train. He's gonna rain a partner Yeah, we did that. We did that in my Asian friends garage once Yeah, his his family like a head they had a sick like two car garage. We set up those exercise mats like the blue ones. And he had a he had a

stereo system like a subwoofer dude. So we just started blasting music. And first round I was boxing like my Guatemalan friend dude, and beat him and then Yeah, I had a throw hands with my Asian friend. Mm-hmm You know, I was tapping him up a little bit. I was about to win dude, and then he puts his fucking Arm over his eyes and just starts swinging like crazy And I turn around dude, and he hits me in the back of the head.

No! And I don't know what it is about getting hit in the back of the head, dude. It's illegal. Dude, I just fucking, my body shut down. Yeah, you're not supposed to lie. It's really bad. I was like, yeah, I tapped out, man.

He beat me. He like recorded the whole thing, too. Holy shit. I think he probably jerks off to that video, dude, to this day. I mean, I would. Just knowing that he took me down, dude I trained at this other place in Atlanta and

I had this teacher Germaine and He was he was a good teacher, but he was still new so sometimes they'll do wild shit box He just put me in the ring With this kid from like zone six like I still follow him on Instagram. It's just like him with his pistol just like It's it's the area in Project something like that and I'm not actually totally clear what it is and Hughes like is his first day here boxing

So I just wanted to take it as hard to him as he goes to you and we started boxing this dude Uppercuts the shit out of me and almost knocks me out and then I'm like, oh shit And he uppercuts me again like both times. I'm dazed and I was like this is More than I bargained for but anyway, we dazed and I was like, this is more than I bargained for. But anyway, we kept going and it was fine. But I was like, I got to be more careful. I can't just be eating tiny concussions. Do you feel like when you get angry though, have you been scrapping?

Like, do you just fight people or like what's going on? No, I had one thing that happened recently that I thought like, cause I feel like if you are like that, you're just asking for your shit to get rocked. Like I never wanted, but there was one time, it was weird because I've done some of that training and stuff and you know, you think you're tough but then stuff comes to you and you're like never mind, sorry. You know, generally you don't want to fight, it sucks it you can get hurt but then I was walking in this bar in Vancouver at like 2 a.m. And I'm there's these two guys at bars like anybody sitting here

They go you are now and I sit down and this guy comes up because you have some on your shirt And I looked down and he flicked my nose and without thinking I smacked him in the face. And then his friend came up and was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And they broke it up and then we had a couple beers. But I was like, don't do that. You don't just like touch a stranger because then they can touch you back.

But I definitely, I like went home after that and I couldn't sleep for like three hours. I was so keyed up. I just laid in bed, just like, what the fuck? You got that dog in you, dude. But that's the thing. No, man, cause it's like that happens and then you talk about it

and I feel like you're just asking for the universe to like humble you. You know what I mean? For something else to happen. So it's like, you never want to feel like you're that guy. Cause I think at my core, I'm not, there's guys that are that guy There's guys that are really that guy when push comes to shove and I'm like I was just like baked and a guy

Flicked my nose and I smacked him in the face. Yeah, those guys that are those guys like the truly Like the badass dudes like Jocko welling and stuff they'll always say like, don't fight, dude. Like just fucking last resort, like fucking run if you have to. So that's what I'm saying, dude. If I get into one of those situations where someone's like, yo, let's fucking go. I'm just going to be as random as I possibly can. That's probably good. Yeah. It also helps if like things are on your side.

Like if it's a fight that's been brought to you. Yeah. But it's like you can't get out of it and now it's happening. That's when you're like, well okay. Now I can really be myself. Now you can really. All these thoughts that I have. You can like unleash because you have to. It's gonna kick in. You're gonna have to do whatever you can. Well I'm just saying like all those immature thoughts I have on a day-to-day basis like they can finally come out, you know your balls out Be like yo who's trying to get fucking jerked off? You know, yeah, that's when you do it Yeah, when you have no choice, but you really have to let it out. Otherwise you go. Hey, I Don't want I don't want this. Yeah, I'm sorry. I also have like

Can I run some about you? if uh say hypothetically dude, like, we're like, I don't know you or whatever. And I just give you a little smack on the face and we're about to throw down. If I made out with you, would you kind of like call it quits? No. Really? You'd still be, you'd be fucking. No, I'd, I'd kiss back and it would be like one of those things where you like it would be like hot and then I'd pull your face away Oh shit, and then I go

Wow, yeah, I kiss back to throw you and then push you away like yeah. Oh Shit. Yeah, that's pretty sick. Yeah, right. Yeah, I think about that Sometimes like how people would react like how gay do you have to be to truly scare someone away? I feel like there's just like levels to it But what if your attacker is gay? I guess you're just having sex then do I'd rather have anal then get fucking killed. That's fair Yeah, a little bit anal never hurt anyone dude. Oh, you know, no but I think that's the best bet man, just saying like random shit and

Nobody ever talks about like dude how much it sucks to get punched in the face either It hurts a lot honestly dude like if ever you're like I probably let someone punch me in the face First so that they like break their hand I It's pretty likely man. I got drunk once and I asked a friend to punch me in the face as hard as he could. Yeah. And I stuck my chin out and he knocked me out. Why would you do that?

I don't know man. It was that anger thing being younger and like wanting to be like, I'm a tough guy. Cause I was like a fat theater kid and I was like, no, no, I'm tough. And this dude just rocks my shit. Yeah, damn dude. So fucking retarded. I know it's really stupid Yeah, so I'm trying not to be I'm trying not to fake being like a tough. Yeah, so the comedy is what led to the acting It wasn't the other way around. I mean, I just I did my mom got me into both when I was a kid But I just I like did theater in high school

And then I got to college and I started doing stand-up and at the time it seemed like standards were like we do stand-up We're not actors, and I was like yeah, so I just leaned into Stand-up, I didn't really do acting for like if you still had like Experience under your belt yeah, and I like doing it. I love it. It's so much fun. You're on like a TV show, right? What type of role are you playing? I play like a doofy, sweet guy.

Yeah. Doofy, sweet, new guy that's like real positive and chipper. How does it work? Like you, how does the whole process work? What, for like acting? Yeah, like doing the show, like is what goes into it? Oh man is like a lot of work Yeah, it's like it's like long days longer days than you think. It's waking up super early it's like staying there for like at least 12 hours, sometimes more and When you're done, you have to commit to learning the lines for the next day.

So it's like, because they shoot the show for cheap. We shoot one episode in four and a half days, but they break you into sort of two or three episode chunks. So you're shooting all those episodes at the same time. So you have to, the best thing to do for memorizing lines is you read all the scripts and then you read them again so they're sort of in your head and then Read them again just just to really familiarize yourself and then you memorize them

Like the day before or two days before Yeah, have you ever forgotten lines? Yeah, but nothing like egregious. Yeah, nothing crazy. Is it because you care so much? What do you mean? Like if you if you fuck up your lines, like are they just gonna cut you? No, because you can improv some stuff, but it's like you don't want to be the guy that's not doing his job. You have a pretty clear-cut job and while you're there, like so many other people are working long hours, longer hours than you are. Yeah. They don't get to relax like the actors get to relax so much is going in to getting everything set up before you're there And people are working crazy hours and if you're the guy that's making the day drag It's just a bad look then you're just not you're not a good co-worker at that point

Yeah, you know what I mean? Cuz I got a lot of people talk about how like they'll be like, yeah Like I got this pilot or whatever and like most of the time it doesn't air. Yeah. So like, are they saying that they actually like filmed it and it didn't get funding or are they saying like there was never anything from the start? They filmed it. They got funding to film it. Somebody put up the money to film one episode and then they shopped it around. Like nobody would buy it. Or they showed it to whoever funded it

and people were like, we're not gonna go forward with this show. Oh shit, and that's usually what happens? Apparently, but I got lucky. The show I got on, they had already bought like a first season. So there's other stuff that goes into it where it's like, sometimes it's like a production company

that makes the show and then sells it to the network or a network will make a show and sell it to another network. I'm not like totally sure how the whole thing works, but this show in particular, the network itself was funding it. There was no other source. It was like they put up the money, it's their show. So they're like, we're gonna do one season of this.

And the guys that produced it are old TV guys. They've been working in Hollywood for a long time They know how to make a TV show work That's pretty sick. Yeah, so I really lucked out and like you you feel like Like that's what you want to do Hmm, like it's not really like work for you. It's kind of like I love this shit Is I mean it's work in some aspects, but dude, it's like yeah, I love that shit I feel so lucky to get to do it.

In some aspects, in a lot of aspects, it feels easier than standup. Because standup is just you generating it and making everything happen. That, it's like, they give you a script, you can add to it if you want, you can make it your own and have fun within it, but it's like, they're like, show up at this time,

we're gonna feed you, everybody's gonna be really nice to you they're really nice to you yeah if you're the actor there everybody's just like it's pretty sick man it's I mean it's it's pretty awesome seasonal thing like how long do you film and then how long of a break do you have it just depends like we did the first season and then the strike happened so then it was like I guess not and then we did the second season and then the strike happened. So then it was like, I guess not. And then we did the second season and we knew we were gonna get to do the third season already. So it was like, we knew we were doing the second season

in winter and then the third season in the summer. And now the third season's airing and we don't even know if we're gonna do a fourth season yet. We're not gonna know till like March or April. So like for like the second season per se, how long did that take to film? Like out of the year, how many months out of the year? Are you working?

Two to three months, three months. And then the rest of the months you can just do like stand up? Yeah, or fuck off. Yeah. I like fuck off a little bit. Fucking jerk off and shit. Yeah. I did some traveling.

That's pretty sick. Blew some money. Yeah. Went to Mexico, tried to learn to surf. Yeah. Not worth it. Damn, dude. Are you like, you still work on your own stuff?

My own stand up? Yeah. No, like your own, obviously you work on your own stand up, but I just mean like your own sketches and stuff. Yeah, but I work again when I'm doing sketches, I feel like, I don't know. I don't love writing so much. I need to get better about doing it.

But a lot of the sketches I do are just other people being like, let's try this. And I'm like, I don't know, I don't love writing so much. I need to get better about doing it, but a lot of the sketches I do are just other people being like, let's try this, and I'm like, cool. Or it's like an improvised sketch, where you just show up and you start working, but it's all done with a dude, Keegan Tindall. I mean, I do sketches with that dude, and it's like, he knows how to set it up, he edits everything, he knows which ideas are good

to run with, or I'll work with like a lot early on and we'll be more collaborative but Or like Harris Alterman. I'll just jump it on his shit. Yeah, you know what I mean? All right, so Yeah, I'm trying to make more sketches But the ideas I have are so retarded that no one else is on board But I know in my heart that they're good good idea. Do you have an idea in mind that you can throw at me right now? Yeah, dude, I might put it out soon.

You can be in it if you want. I would love to. I love doing sketches. Yeah, man, like the idea is, takes place in an Applebee's parking lot, and it's about dudes who peel out in Applebee's parking lots, and every engine rev is like a flashback to like a failed

marriage. So that's kind of like the whole idea. Does that make sense? Yeah, I like it. You know, so it's like an engine rev and then a flashback to like some dude's wife leaving him like because of how small his penis is. And he's thinking about that every engine rev. So in between that, are you basically shooting a documentary style?

Like, yeah, I've been peeling out of these Applebee's for a couple years now. It's all like a biography of my life. And then it revs. And then the punch line is I actually have a news report of a guy who drove through an Applebee's. So that's the punch. Like I have an a news report of a guy who drove through an Applebee's mm-hmm So that's the punch like I have an actual news report. I can just put like my mugshot over it You have a mugshot. I mean I can get one dude. I don't have a LinkedIn picture. Yeah But it high thing behind it yeah, man. She like that you know

Yeah, just like too retarded for people to get on board with it's not at all. What are you talking about? I mean, I don't know. People are just not invested in it, man. You got cameras, dude. Do it yourself, man. I'll let it rip, dude. Let it rip. I'll let you know how it goes, man.

The more you do it, the more you learn. Yeah. Put it out. Yeah, you're right, man. Make it happen for yourself. You learn along the way. Yeah, it's all about the journey, dude. That's right.

Well, dude, it was good to meet you, man. Good to meet you, too. Good to sit down with you, bro too good to sit down with you bro great to sit down with you did I sound did I sound stupid no that went by really fast man did I didn't even clock that it was an hour yeah but dude if you don't mind sharing where the people can find you and like any you know obviously like your TV show and stuff yeah check out animal control that's on Fox and uh next day on Hulu season three is airing now you can also find me on the socials

at Michael Roland oh underscore oh god it's good dude and then uh all the time yeah this uh this episode will be out on the patreon like uh tomorrow so I mean if you're on the patreon man, you get episodes like one or two weeks early, which is pretty cool So yeah, man, if you want to do that do that and thank you guys for watching