The Johnny Salami Podcast - Tait Winston

Episode Date: December 8, 2024

Tait Winston by The Johnny Salami Podcast

I think I took a shit in my neighbors lawn Yeah Laughter Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Oh, bro, I'm hurting. Yeah, I was looking for, like, vintage socks, like the striped ones that, like, fucking retarded lesbians wear at the special olympics and shit yeah yeah like shorter though you know the long ones they wear that like cover their kneecaps yeah the high guy was trying to get the ankle ones trying to get the little anki's

you gotta see the calves dude yeah you gotta show off those i remember when i was in like elementary school dude you remember when you like saw your Achilles for the first time? No, that doesn't strike me. That was like a big moment in my life, dude. Because I was wicked fat, bro. So I would see like all the other kids with like Achilles, but I was so fucking fat, dude. I couldn't see mine. You're like one day.

And then I was like, yo, watch this shit. What you thought, bro? Yeah, bro. Like, yeah, it's a tendon. Started hitting fucking home runs and kickball and shit. Fuck. Kicking home runs, dude. Yeah, dude.

Blasting those things. Yeah, we used to kick fucking basketballs, dude, on a blacktop. Just like. Just fucking knock people out. Yeah, just beam some little girl in the head that's a doozy bro basketballs are dense yeah bro i got fucking uh i got these blue boots from payless and i was fucking loaded bro i could hit it like 40 yards in the air like three second hang time damn it's because those achilles bro those prominent achilles because of my pussy dude

damn yeah you gotta go puss puss my bad my pussy, dude. Damn, yeah, you got good with puss puss. My bad, dude. That wasn't funny at all. You got good calves, though, right? Solid calves? If I'm flexing them, yeah. If you're flexing them, yeah. Because I feel like you do lots of...

Is that a calf raise? Yeah, I think that was a calf raise. Yeah, dude. I feel like you hit those. I feel like you were fucking typing on a computer, dude. Hit those full range of motion bitches. Let them go all the way down. Dude, if you do the single ones, though, single calf raises, so hard, bro.

You get so hard? It's like jerking off with your fucking mind. There's people that can do that, bro. You think you could do a single calf raise? A singular calf raise? Yeah. Like one? Yeah, just one leg.

With how many poundage? Just nothing, dude. No plates? Yeah. Zero plates. Full range of motion. Full range of motion. People are watching you, too.

So, like, I have to snap my Achilles to get full range of mosh? You're just in front of a bunch of people at the gym and you just have to do bang. With one. Your body weight, dude. I think I can hit it. I can't even do that, dude. Yeah, you can. No?

You can only do the up part? Not with one, dude. If I'm on a Smith machine, I can use my fucking traps. As you toot lines of creatine on a hydrate road. I used to do key bumps of creatine. For real? Yeah. What did it feel like?

It just reminded me of cocaine yeah like it doesn't there's no like stimulant i don't know you've done coke before were you addicted oh sorry i think i knew you at a point in your life when you were like drinking and doing like anal yeah dude mad drunk anal bro yeah mad how'd you? Because I would say shit to you and you just wouldn't answer. Yeah, no, I was drinking and coke and there's a lot of that in the comedy world, bro. Yeah. For sure. Like a surprising number of old dudes still just rip blow. Really?

Like older, like obese guys that probably have heart conditions. Were those your boys when you were running it? Yeah, some of them for sure yeah so we do the little the little dap and you take thing out the watch pocket i'm like well go did you guys ever talk about emotional shit when you were doing it yeah dude you're on cocaine of course you're gonna be like yo my dad this is one time like you're gonna get yeah damn i didn't know it was like that yeah i feel like it uh it inspires conversation and very provocative thoughts yeah i mean they're usually just like i want to fuck i want to drink more i don't want to eat let's start a business you know yeah shit like that is the vibe there was a dude who did cocaine and uh he went to my high school

or whatever and i ended up going to this like rich girl's party and i ended up making out with a girl on a hammock from a different school dude and i was like yo bro you're in like i made out with her and she was like i'll be right back went to hang out with that dude just got finger banged to the max dude he finger banged you yeah he was like, here, bro, try this. Yeah, he like told the chick, he was like, yeah, I'm gonna need him for a minute. And then we just

got after it, bro. I was like, can we do it on the hammock? And he was like, nah, I need a better space. Was she a private school girl? Yeah, she went to Mount St. Charles. You know where that is no oh it's a wound socket oh it's a woundy yeah yeah man i thought there's lots of random really fancy small schools like there's like a school for diplomats children uh yeah in warwick like

warwick neck i think like all the way out think? Yeah, they're all in the hood. Past Oakland Beach? They're all in the hood. Yeah, it's weird as fuck, bro. But it's this like crazy gated, like it looks like Hogwarts meets like the X-Men. Yeah, they all look like Hogwarts, dude, and they're right in the middle of the hood. That's wild. So you'll just see like a bunch of girls in dresses, and then you'll just hear a fucking... Yeah. Damn, bro. Yeah. But that's pretty sexy sick she's a private school girl dude yeah that's what i'm rolling up on dude you got some psgp

need a little bit of that bro in your life i thought you're gonna be like cranson east she was like we out here oh yeah i mean that would have been better for me because i was emotional man like i was like i thought I was falling in love in, like, a Lifetime movie. Like, I thought I was, like, that kid who fucking eats crayons, who, like, falls in love with a chick. And, like, finally gets it in the bag. But, dude, this chick literally, like, had sex with this dude for, like, four hours. He was, like, coked out of his mind. Oh, so he couldn't ejaculate.

That's what happens. Yeah, because I went back inside, and I was like, hey, have you seen, like, this chick? And they were like, oh, she's upstairs with this dude. And then you seen like this chick and they were like oh she's upstairs with this dude and then you like creep up the stairs and she's just like fuck i could like hear it yeah no i was wicked upset man she had a basketball court she was a rich chick bro she had a basketball court though dude with a rack of fucking evolution balls bro so i just started putting up shots listening to nickelback my yo baby hot shit damn did she uh was she a good baller herself i don't know i don't i mean she's good with balls in her mouth that's damn yeah yeah she can manage the pelotas bro fuck but that sucks bro when chicks

are like you think they're like like emotional yeah you have an emotional connection with them but they're really just looking to get their fucking sphincter whacked out damn bro she just tried to get that sphincter whack yeah yeah damn bro it's tough man that would be crazy if she was uh that's like really advanced things for high school kids bro there's having anal and doing coke but like acting like a valedictorian yeah dude because like if valedictorians were honest when they were doing those speeches they'd be like i love anal yeah that would be like the first thing they said when they walked on the stage for sure i feel like valedictorians always be going ham in the bedroom bro yeah they have to compensate for all that hard work do you remember who your years was or like the chick

because it was probably a dude not like i'm not trying to be sexist it's probably a dude well i think they had like a valedictorian and then like a maledictorian like a schmaledictorian or some shit it was like a lady version and a dude version right or there's only one there can only be one i think there can only be one but there's like a runner-up i forgot what it's called yeah magna cum laude something like that dude it's funny though valedictorian like dick is in the word yo when my dick torn them i told you in the auditorium what else you start rapping about dudes dicks yeah like for the speech i think you just meant like in my like free time well that's what i do in my free time bro i'll be freestyling about dudes a lot a lot it all comes back to dicks dude ultimately yeah that's what it circles like if i have like

a really mature thought bro it always comes back to like dicks yeah you're like dude i gotta get new health insurance and then it's just like it like just like a giant peen yeah just enters the foreground man dude that's funny though dude that you uh when we were talking about the car bro i didn't know you were into black chicks dude yeah dude well you have a mexican uh yeah girlfriend now but the fact that i didn't know you were into black chicks in the past yeah black seconds black seconds is there like a reason you're interested in like uh diversity and shit because like if you lined up all the chicks you're basically i mean it wasn't like diversity motivated you know like i was like you know what let's let's mix up the uh the arrangement here

let's make sure we have a well distributed proportion and you just show up to like fucking uh like junkyards just dropping n-bombs i mean there's not many blacks at the junkyard they're all just like go on what else uh yeah man i started wearing a do-rag a lot. Jordans. I was doing pull-ups. For real? I was doing mad pull-ups.

Nah, I've never worn a do-rag in my life, bro. I feel like you definitely have. I've worn a folded-up T-shirt on my head. Oh, I've done that. It was like a gangster turban, dude. Damn. But I wanted it to look like a do-rag. Yeah, naturally.

We all do. I couldn't wait for the Amazon package to arrive, so I like let's do this you know yeah i feel like we've all done them one of these johns yeah i mean were you kind of like a pirate type shit i'm trying to make a sketch dude where i'm dressed up with like saggy fucking walmart pants white t-shirt triple xl do-rag in an applebee's parking lot and i d dap up my boy and I'm like, hey, yo, twin dongs on that motherfucker. Yo, twin dongs, my boy. Say less. Because I'm talking about like the cars.

Oh, you guys got matching dongs? You know, dudes who hang out in parking lots. That's like the whole sketch idea. Like Applebee's parking lots. Yeah, bro. They're always like talking about their cars and shit. Facts, bro. Yeah, bro.

Facts. Mad realistic. Mad realistic. Yeah. Applebee's is, man, like a Ruby Tuesdays. Yeah. You know where I went last night, bro? First time ever I went to Michael's Crafts.

No, that's like your store. No, Joanne's my store, dude. Oh, Joanne Fabs? Yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm going to be honest, bro. Like, Michael's kind of is competing with Joanne. It's right in that Yankee Candle.

You got to go inside, bro. Home goods? Because you smoke weed, right? Yeah. No, Michael's. Go into Michael's, dude. Fucking high as shit. You'll be so happy, dude.

I'll probably just waste mad money on arts and crafts, bro. Or just fucking waste mad money on fucking candles. Okay. It smells like a fucking lesbian's dick, dude. Damn, bro. That lesbo dick smell. Bro, the smell in there was insane. Really?

Like, I've never smelled anything like that. Just like an amalgamation of lesbian dicks and spices bro. Yeah. What do you think it is in those stores? Just like plants combined with like pussies. It's fake plants. Pussy. You think they have someone in the back like a chick just like

flashing her pussy at like a wind turbine? She's like wait. then there's like candles next to it and then plants so like that combined so it's all just like yeah and just distributes bro because dude most good smells if you if you look into what it is like like the ingredients, it's always pussy. It's always puss. Yeah. Yeah, that's the base ingredient, bro. That's how you track inflation, dude.

Yeah, cinnamon. If it smells like pussy, that means the economy is, like, really fucking. The smell of hot cocoa. Yeah. Pussy. Have you ever been to, like, a friend's house where you're about to ask his mom what this smell is? And you're like, hey, Mrs. Never mind.

I've deduced what it is. It's you. Well, no, legit, though. Have you ever been, like, when you were younger, do you ever go to someone's house and you, like, aren't in love with the smell? Like, they have a smell where it just feels like i feel like it always um it always smells different other people's homes always smell so different and as a little kid that was very jarring because you just haven't had much experience smelling other homes and like even detergent like i'd smell like a fruity detergent

and be like like what is this because my mom would use like unscented Tide or some shit, you know? So I'd smell like bounty and be like, oh, this is alarming, bro. Fuck you up. Fuck you up. Those other home smells, man. Yeah, dude. Crazy. Dude, when I worked at Bank of America, one day at lunch, it was me and this chick.

We were eating lunch together. This dude sits down and it was me and this chick. We were eating lunch together. And, like, this dude sits down. And it's completely quiet, bro. This chick's wearing a dress. And he just goes, yo, it smells like fucking pussy. No. So I'm like, bro, chill out. Was she, like?

Yeah, dude, her face got, like, red and shit. And I was like, bro, what are you doing, man doing man like i didn't really know this guy that well and he just kept saying it over and over again like he was like he was it was like his eyebrows are burning off dude and uh smells like pussy dude he was so dumb this chick was eating straight up swordfish dude oh so it was clearly the swordfish yeah but dude he just couldn't put the pieces together so he just said like he kept saying it smells like pussy damn well he probably ended up hooking up with that chick honestly that's how you get in the bag he was a chad yeah damn bro he had just that fucking strong jawline good biceps probably throws a mean spiral yeah his

name's fucking david oh dave bro yeah of course dave hits a beautiful spiral just like flawless biomechanics bro yeah i hear looking like aaron roggies yeah dude having that type of rotation that rotational power dude oh there's a man is like everything oh that core strength that snap that yeah that whip dude yeah i got none of that shit dude but i'm trying to do more like thoracic rotation stuff Jurassic Park rotation? Yeah jerk my ass off rotation I'm trying to jerk my fucking ass in Asians When you line up

Like against a wall dude And you just fucking You know What do you do? You like line up against a wall You take a dildo they'll put it against your knee Mm-hmm and latch it on and you hold it against the wall Yeah, you have to do you jerk it off with both your legs they can't let it fall then you just go like this

So someone fucking calls the cops. Like a spread eagle KJ knee job? Hit him with the knee job? Dude, you hit the gym, or you only go the boxing gym? No, it's a gym there as well, so yeah, I'll use free weights. Are you lying to me? No, no, I'll use free weights. For real?

Like before or after? Usually after, because i like to save the the energy for punching the kick in the shit it's hilarious man i don't know why i'm laughing yeah i was like i was my workout routine like bro fucking legit oh no yeah i mean um i used to bodybuild bro like i used to like do that and it was all just like gay shit bro just fucking concentration curls and just like really slow full range of motion shit and low weights yeah it's mad gay it's mad gay dice though yeah dice bro yeah but it was like fucking i was just like like my biceps were stupid also dog i'm so sweaty right now i was hustling through that cold queen's air bro sorry

dude probably fucking warmed you up yeah oh yeah it warmed me up good yeah man working out's mad gay especially bodybuilding dude but if you get a fucking nice mind muscle connection sometimes my dick gets hard bro yeah my dick rarely doesn't get hard when i'm pumping yeah like if i have if i'm pumped here i'm pumped here, I'm pumped here. You know what I'm saying? But nobody can tell because my piece is like. Bro, I've legitimately, no joke, it's been like 1130 on like a Friday night. I'll do calf raises, dude, and I'll get such a pump in my calves that my dick will get hard.

I'm like, dude, I'm listening to fucking Hilary duff damn which song come clean oh but do that and i like you reach a point where you're like dude i might be gay but nobody knows no but then you remember it's lizzie mcguire doing your straight as fuck yeah because she's like a hot chick dude and there's a bunch of dudes around you not doing the same thing yeah so you feel like getting boned up yeah you look around you doing the same thing. Getting boned up? Yeah. You look around, you see mad dudes boned up. 11.30 at night, dude, on a Friday, everyone's fully wrecked. Well, because it's all just gay dudes looking to bang each other in the steam room. All dudes just like loaded on bee juice and fucking pre-workout.

Yeah, bee juice is fire, bro. That nitric oxide, dog. Dude, you know what I heard gets you hard too is honey, bro. Honey? Isn't it like the manuka honey? I don't know. Someone said it's gas station honey. honey will get you fucking bricked up, but then you like pass away afterwards.

Yeah, you do die for sure, but that shit gets you. Dog, I took like um, I forget what it was just like Rhino XL. Yeah. It's just like a picture of a blue rhino. And you take that shit and dog I had a migraine. Is this like a migraine supplement no it's a dick pill bro

it's an over-the-counter gas station dick pill yeah and bro i was hard for like fucking 36 hours and then had a headache for three days bro i just couldn't think holy shit i was getting heart palpitations and shit it was bad bro that's tough man you just like tucked in your belly button no i just kept smash you just walked around fully wrecked full mask bro fucking like a day and a half day and a half dog yeah no slept with it broke it off a few times in the night you know rolled over yeah snapped it a little had to readjust put a splint on it fuck Fuck, man. Little dick splint. Did it feel like it was worth it?

Like, did it pay off? If you had to leave, like, a Yelp review, what would it be? Beware of death, but have fun. Yeah. Have fun, bro. Take advantage of it. Dude, I just got honey from the gas station

because I'm trying to rock with... Is it that, like, Egyptian honey? Or, like because i'm trying to rock with is it that uh like egyptian honey or like the manuka one that looks like a bear i think it's just a regular honey bro yeah it's probably fucking poison dude but i'm trying to do that thing where you put like a himalayan sea salt on your dick and then you just get fucking eagle wings dude no you put himalayan sea salt on a spoon dude and you put honey on top of it and you eat it and then you just get fully erected you put honey and himalayan sea salt on your dick and you're like hey come suck this so you can get hard yeah i'm a little worried about your sexual

functionality babe so if you could suck this off my piece it's gonna give you a killer pump yeah like you're gonna be ready i mean i would do that bro to get a good pump yeah oh no no i first walk into the gas station with himalayan sea salt on my nuts with fucking Puerto Rican powder. Dude, you're just pouring honey on your hand. Like cracking the salt into your mouth. Chewing on pink salt, bro. You walk up to one of those fucking self-serve gas stations. You're like, yo yo pipe me up you're pouring gasoline in your

knuckles like tom aspinall said it makes your hands harder yeah listen to that dude greg pitt i don't know man he's got like a bunch of motivational shit online damn bro does he do that dick stuff bro he passed. I guess he got hit by a train. What? He was just walking down a fucking railroad, just boned up and got hit by a fucking semi truck, dude. Justice P. He was so boned up that he was just waiting on the sidewalk and he was like.

Love how I'm like making shit up about a dude's death. Dude, he influenced so many people, dude. And I just said he got hit by a semi truck on a railroad. Damn. It's for sure semi trucked. He didn't have a semi. He was fully erect when he got trucked. He's doing like a motivational video, dude.

You just see like a fucking U-Haul truck pull down a railroad track, listening to fucking Kesha. He's like, you think you know what it takes to be a man tick tock damn dude poor guy did he do push-ups and shit i mean i've seen pictures of him bro and he looks he looks like a walking boner dude he was definitely doing nitric oxide shit yeah um you ever fuck around with the big boys with, like, the pharmaceuticals? No. Never taken a Viaggie. What did I take? I used to take a supplement, and it was mainly nitric oxide.

Yeah. But it was still, like, a supplement. I don't know what else was in it. Uh-huh. Probably, like, fucking... It's probably, like, arginine is pretty good, but I think it mostly just gets you boned up. It doesn't really help with gains, but,

uh, citrulline Malley, bro, that shit to get you dick hard and your muscles massive dog and your veins would be like, yeah, I think that's the one I think it's citrulline. Yeah, bro.

That's that shit, bro. I, uh, like I was spending a lot on pre-workout and shit. So I was like, all right, I'm just going to buy the supplements on Amazon or whatever.

Save mad money. Dropped like a hundred bucks. I bought it, like, by the pound, bro. So I bought, like, citrulline, malate, fucking L-arginine, like, the whole nine yards, bro. Beet juice. Damn. Pre-workout. Dude, I put it all in a fucking shaker bottle.

Fucking drank the whole thing, dude. Literally blacked out. No, no, no, no. Dude, I went to the ER. No. Yeah. My roommate brought me to the ER, dude. I think I remember when you went to the ER.

I don't know how you would know, dude. I remember, I think, I don't know. I've talked about it. Yeah, I probably told you. Yeah, dude. Weren't you having like heart palpitations? No, I was dehydrated. Oh, that's what I remember.

But I think the rush of all that shit together was like... Your dick's just like... If you have all that shit in a parking lot, dude, and you listen to a fucking put-on by Young Jeezy, dude, you're going to black out, man. Yeah, your dick's just going to be like... It's just snowman, bitch.

Blackout. Yeah. Immediately passed out. Good though, dude. Yeah. Did you at least have a sick pump in the hospital? I got hooked up to an IV and it felt like, I felt like fucking an ice cube,

dude. Yeah. And are we there yet? Yeah. Cause I, I would not not i haven't gotten any ivs before and it was wild man to feel it going to my fucking bloodstream just hydrating up fuck it yeah and they just called me a pussy and told me to leave yeah they took my blood work and they were like um mr salami we regret to inform you that you are a bitch-ass motherfucker so it's

time to leave yeah and you're like what about my pump that was the worst feeling ever bro being that dehydrated just going to the er oh yeah and having to pay three grand just for that chill bro yeah bro i walked right in they took me right away i was like i was like my heart's racing i just blacked out like a thing i'm gonna fucking pass away they were like, all right. I had to get an EKG, bro. I had to get my blood work done. Got hooked up to an IV.

And then at the end, they were just like, you're a closeted homosexual, dude. Damn. They were like, you owe us three grand. You can pay monthly installments. Did a handsome nurse at least give you an HJ? I think it was a fucking black dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Strong.

He was mad chill, though, dude. Yeah, mad chill about it. He could have called me a pussy called me a pussy dude but he was like listen man like you'll get over this yeah he was like y'all no gay shit bro just shut the fuck up bro damn bro i know dude well he's got an hj not a bit but three racks that's crazy why because you don't have insurance i just have shit benefits dude dude. Damn, bro. And like around here, bro, if you go to the ER, dude, it's already like a grand, dude. Damn. Bro, an ambulance ride is like $1,500.

You took the ambulance? No, but I'm just saying like in general. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. So now, bro, if I'm like hurt or some shit, like I'm going to have to be like about to die to call the fucking yeah because you go to the yard yeah because knowledge is power like if you fucking stab me right now and hit like an artery or some shit i would try my best to sew it up yeah we're good start drinking my

own blood dude you go and pick up that girl just leaking blood yeah like just turn into a fucking vampire dude would you be like a Twilight vampire or like a Blade vampire? I think I would be the vampire from that movie, dude. What's that called? Twilight, right? Twilight, yeah. Who's the hot dude who looks like a homosexual, but he's like wicked? Well, I think both of the dudes are pretty hot.

That's everybody in the film. You just described every person. The one who's like a werewolf? Dude, I don't know that gay shit. Psych teamacob yeah yeah that's jacob he's a werewolf yeah edward cullen is the vampire who do you think you would be um probably the girl that falls in love with them both what's her name like the actor's name oh uh chris kristen yeah something like that she looks like she freaks out or like starbucks or some shit because they get her fucking drink wrong yeah she's like i said three splendas yeah dude yeah what is her name dude

fuck yeah she's always like in videos I see just like freaking out just bugging out on regular humans she's like women's rights no women's do have mad rights though yeah not many lefts though dude yeah no it's a fact

it was Shaz Donny T taking away all them rights and shit bro yeah who's that chick now the rugby player who looks like a fucking fullback? She got traps on her? Yeah, bro. She's literally, like, her legs are the size of my fucking body, dude. Oh, got those hands, bro.

Like, like a, something like that. Like a. I forgot her name, bro. She's on the U.S. women's rugby team. Do you follow rugby? No. She just, like, got famous, famous like wicked quick though from like you know what i'm talking about no oh like the woman's eighth rugby like won the championship or some

shit damn bro and like their best player i forgot her name but she's like famous now bro she's doing like sports illustrated like the whole nine yards but every video she's talking about like woman's rights and shit dude and i'm like you're like the one percent yeah you know the strong woman yeah she's concerned about her rights but she can beat up 90 of men literally dude yeah she can literally like throw a spin move down at a chili's and fucking knock out three dudes yeah just dominoes yeah literally bro she's a fucking truck stick and she's like comparing herself to like all women yeah She's a fucking truck stick, and she's, like, comparing herself to, like, all women. Yeah, dude.

She's like, we're all beautiful, and we're all the same. It's like, your traps are legit dicks. She's got, like, dicks coming out of her shoulders. You can bench three women. Like, what are you talking about? Bro, that chick could fly away if she was in trouble. Who do you think her best lift is? I'd probably say, I don't know, man, because when when chicks bench they have to go below their titties

because they have tits so i don't think it's that yeah probably like it's down here probably fucking trap where girls can't go on their boobies they can't go right to the nip no dude they can't just gently brush the nip and then even in golf bro like chicks have to swing above their tits damn so always in the way dude wait so the mechanics of the lady swing are different? Yeah. What if you got like real narrow tits though? What if you got them little, them little,

little bee stings? Maybe if you like legit have no tits. Yeah. Like Rachel Williams or some shit. Damn, dude. Rachel really. What if you have like an ass that'll swallow up a G-string,

but up top, two B-stangs. You know what I mean? Just tiny little... I feel like it's just your discretion, dude. It's your judgment call. You could probably have a dude swing that way. I just don't know if it would do some damage. I don't think golf would, but...

Bench press titties? Yeah, bro. If you're dropping a bar on your tits. BPTs, yeah. Mad disrespectful to the titties, dude. Yeah, wildly disrespectful to the titties, bro. I would never even smack a pair of tits, dude. Really?

Yeah. What if she wanted you to? I don't think I could, man. You couldn't do it? That's like hitting a child, man. Like I would never... What if she was like, smack me fucking tits. I'd be like, I think she should head out.

Dude, what if you hadn't busted yet? And she's like, smack me fucking titterooskies. And you're like, why'd you say it like that? Yeah. Yeah, dude. That would be tough, man. But you wouldn't give it like a little. Like a little.

Yeah, but then she'd be like. Hit me hard, pussy. Yeah then she'd be like hit me hard or pussy yeah she'd be like punch my dick you're like wait i would just get up dude and like fucking make sure all the lights were out and just swing like just throw a make sure start winging over hands bro you break both your hands on her bed frame, bro. She's like, what are you doing? Don't disrespect the tits.

Yeah, just make sure all the lights are out, dude. Just start throwing combos at the fucking TV. What if she wanted you to, like, sing into her tits? Would you croon for her a little bit? I think so, man. I have a hard enough time, like, not laughing during sex in general. Yeah.

Why? Because of skin fart noises? No, just the idea of a woman taking her clothes off. It's kind of funny, bro. It's just funny. Dude, it's way funnier than a dude taking his clothes off. It's just funny in the movies where they're like, all right, your turn. They just take their clothes off standing up. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, bro. You, like, take their clothes off, like, standing up. Like, that's, like, the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, bro. You know? You do a horizontal takeoff? If you're laying in a bed, dude, it's cool, you know, because you kind of, like, be, like, secretive about it. But if it's, like, a movie where you're, like, at a lake, you know, you're, like, making out and shit, and you're, like, you take turns. Take turns making out? You eye each other. You're, like, yo, Jeff, your turn, bro.

She's got a sick tongue. She's my uncle. He's, like, settle down, youngin'. All right, I'll take my time. You're like, Uncle Jeff. He's fucking fishing, dude. I'm just naked in the water. She's like, Johnny, your uncle tastes like cigarettes.

He's fucking skinny dipping, bro. Yeah, bro. I'm just naked, just pretending I'm a fish Yeah bro Just listening to Blink-182 Forever and ever Your uncle's just giving this fucking 16 year old girl hickeys

And you're just like City still I will not go Turn the lights off Bang my uncle I'm like pretend to catch me one time I will not get Turn the lights off Bang my uncle No, no, no I'm like pretend to catch me one time Dude, you're just doing truss falls by yourself into the water Yeah, dude

Your uncle's getting busy with Stacy, dude Yeah, that's fucked Fuck, bro That was the most fucked up what if situation we've ever done Yeah, your uncle's a dog, man Bro, my uncle like most fucked up. What a situation. Yeah, there's a dog man, bro My uncle like borderline shit himself during Christmas. I borderline shit myself We fucking literally don't talk to each other dude, like he thinks I'm retarded and shit, bro, and he's getting he's getting older Yeah, so I'm at the table legit by myself like not talking to anyone

Walks behind me bro and just rips and just keeps walking like he didn't even know he like borderline shit himself damn like he's at that age there was some liquid yeah dude i think he like literally shit his pants oh man bro but i just think he's at that age now where it's like he doesn't even know damn how old is he probably in his he's got to be 70 bro i think i don't know it's what your mom's older brother or something no it's my mom's sister's husband oh okay and he's just out here duking his pants bro i think so man but i don't i don't really blame him bro if you're 70 plus you have no idea what's coming out yeah did you uh did you geek for like 30 minutes no bro like i'm obviously like a big fart guy but it was

just like yo what the fuck dude because i was alone but it was just like, yo, what the fuck, dude? Because I was alone, bro. It was just me. Bro, that's a different type of fart to throw you off your game. If he did that during Grace, I would have laughed. Yeah, true, true, true. But if it's just me, bro. It's about the inappropriate. It wasn't, like, a funny fart sound either.

It was just like. Yeah. It sounded like a fucking, like, a helicopter crash. Oh, no, dude. In the Everglades. Damn. Like, it was just straight up, like, water. Yeah, but, like, Oh, no, dude. In the Everglades. Damn. Like it was just straight up like water. Yeah, but like swampy water, dude.

And there's gators. Yeah, I was like, yo, is the fucking dishwasher acting up? You know what I mean? Damn, bro. This wasn't funny, dude. Did it linger? Did he put some poop particles in the air? I didn't really smell much.

That's good. So I think that's why he shit himself. This is a Thanksgiving situation? Yeah. Yeah, dude. All those yams. Yeahams yeah but dude when i'm 70 bro like i'm just gonna fucking literally fucking fart as hard as i can and just see what happens yeah why would you not bro i used to um i used to be i used to live in southern delaware i was a tennis pro at this resort and uh every sunday i would only have morning lessons and

then I would just start day drinking. I would just get fucking hammered. And I used to go to, it was called like Food Lion. Yeah, this grocery store with my gay roommate. And first of all, dude, Danny, he was the homie. He was so funny, bro. He'd wake up in the morning, full blown redneck, could not tell that he was effeminate in any way.

He would just be like what's going on man he'd like pour himself a glass of mountain dew first thing in the morning bro or some other uh what's the like squirt or something or like it was one of those flavors it was like a lemon lime i think it was called squirt yeah dude it was called squirt but he'd wake up he'd chug soda and then go like chain two Newports and go back to bed because he worked at a bar until five in the morning every night or whatever. Bro, then he'd come out at night. So in the morning, again, he's like, hey, what's going on, man?

Hey, what's up? All right, y'all. And go back to bed. And then he'd come out at night and he'd be like, hey, guys, we're doing it. Holy shit. We're going out and you're like no way bro yeah belly shirts like glitter on his face oh he would just totally flip the script but mad funny and then yeah in the morning he was wearing like family guy boxers and a dirty wife beater you're like what dude he would just totally flip the script but uh yeah we're in this

grocery store and we'd go every sunday and my favorite thing to do would be to just like rip beer farts in the aisles like we'd be like picking out cold cuts or something and i'd just be like and he'd be like oh my god tate stop stop please stop so he would he would talk like uh he was kind of like a fucking vampire, but like a gay vampire? Yeah, he was like code switch, but it was like dudes. He would only come out at night. That's wild, bro. I feel like he wouldn't come out during the day. No, when he'd go out at night, he was like, yas.

Actually, this was pre-yas. Yas wasn't a thing, bro. We're talking 2012, dog. Yeah, bro. I mean, I'll go to my fucking grave saying this, dude. I think the gay voice is, I think it's, I don't think it's real, man. You don't think it's a real man? It's not natural. I think it's forced, you know?

Or it's just like, you have to take like a class, like an online class or something. Like, it doesn't just happen, you know? I think it happens when you want to bang dudes yeah you're just naturally like it's like becoming batman dude like it doesn't just happen overnight yeah you know what i'm saying true true like dude i knew this dude in high school who was gay but i knew him when he was straight his name was steven and his voice was i don't think it works like that i don't think it works like that. I don't think he was mad straight.

And then he just saw one dude and he was like, oh, shit. No, I think he was always gay, bro. Yeah, for sure. But he just didn't come out. But I'm saying. But he was repressing that voice the whole time. Oh, you think so? I think he was born with that voice.

What's up, guys? Yeah. He was like, yo, what's up, my dudes? Then he just came and looked at himself in the mirror and be like,'m fucking bad yeah where are my fucking uggs he literally came into class one day and said that we like that was he like yo where my uggs at bro no this is when he was fully gay uh also he he went fully gay yeah like i knew him i knew him freshman year of high school bro just this normal like generic dude like what's up and then by sophomore year he was walking into my english class like where are my fucking uggs yo mad um cultures that are super sexually repressed and homophobic those dudes are

the illest at covering their shit up like a couple of the the dancers i worked with were like yeah it's like super effeminate but they knew how to be like yeah hey how you doing and it's like well yeah dude because you grew up in like really homophobic families and you had to keep your shit on the low you know you had so they're like polished with it like you actually can't tell they're just like hey what's up man but then you'll see like a little like like pick up the bottle or like do something that's just mildly effeminate and you're like yeah it's not even gay though dude i think it's just it's like a girl voice it's like a mean girl voice yeah you know but like a dude saying yeah so that's what i think the gay voice is the rest of the episode in case that's why gay fucking dudes are always best

friends with like hot chicks yeah it's like they're one of them you know yeah gay dudes are always best friends with, like, hot chicks. Yeah, facts. It's like they're one of them, you know? Yeah, gay dudes are hot chicks, bro. Yeah. They got it on lock, man. They're so good at... Yo, gay dudes be wearing makeup and normalizing it, and they look fantastic. Their skin is stellar.

Better gym routines than either of us, dude. Motherfuckers be organized. It sucks, man. I hate seeing those videos. What, of gays, likeays lifting weights better than you? Just people I know who are gay doing deep squats

and gym shark shorts. And I'm like, dude, why am I hard right now? You're like, why am I rocked up? Yeah. They're just doing leg presses and just pointing their butthole

towards the ceiling. It's not fully rocked up, but I get a little bit excited. You get a little chub-a-chub. Yeah. And then I'm like, dude, get a fucking boner right now. You get angry at yourself?

Yeah. Yo. Bro, I've literally tried so hard to get hard to like a dude. Why? Just to like see if I could do it. Just to like make sure you're a little gay? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just to make sure like I'm still on that 10% tier, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. Kinsey says everyone's a little gay. For sure, yeah. You know what I mean? But you think you still on that 10% tier dude Yeah yeah yeah Dr. Kinsey says Everyone's a little gay For sure yeah You know what I mean But you think you're In the 10% range

Yeah bro Like I think about being gay When I have like A good conversation With a dude Yeah No I'm gay as fuck I just don't like

Dude dicks Does that make sense You know when I'm gay bro Is like When I have a hard time Talking to a chick And then I talk to One of my boys

And you're like, yo, this is what it's like. I'll just bang guys. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be way easier, man.

Yeah. Cause guys are always down to bang. You know what I mean? You think of like, if Jesus came down from the sky, bro, and he was like, yo,

suck that dude's fucking dick. Jesus just sounds like an amateur beach volleyball player yo jason fucking blow this dude for my dad yo jay you heard me the first time dog yeah but like he like threatened to kill your whole family he's like yeah i'll fucking cheat bro dude i can turn water into wine i can turn your dad into dead bang this dude you think you could do it though if he literally fucking flew down from the sky like an eagle possessed by fucking a venezuelan fucking accountant hello my name is hector i'm gonna work with your numbers um let me know if you need anything you

never think about that shit venezuelan accountants bro nah first time in my life dog i never thought about a venezuelano just like you're missing out dude that would be so funny dude if like jesus came down he had like eagle wings and he was fucking venezuelan he's like okay he just has eagle wings tattooed it's like he just screams maria and it's like that fucking uh that movie fucking den of thieves dude the first scene of that movie it is just like dudes with unlimited rounds of ammo pulling up to a gas station. Classic. Just. Bro, it's.

It's the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life. I love that, dude. Yeah. They never even reload the clip. Like, it's just the first scene of the movie. And they're just like, the cops come. They just kill all the cops, bro. Just like they

have like legit m60s planted at the top of a car fuck they're like yo get my fucking right jason they're like launching rpgs and shit and dude it goes on for like 15 minutes it's literally like benghazi but like on like in like a four-way intersection. Dude, den of thieves. Wait, and Jesus flies down at one point? Yeah. He was like, stop all the guns. Well, I was going to say it'd be funny if he came down and he was like Venezuelan with eagle wings.

Yeah. But he was like, Maria. And then just started like shooting an M60. Damn, bro. Jesus is strapped. Man, dude. He can just shoot bullets out of his hands, but he's like, I got to use the pistol now. You think it would be out of his hands or out of his cock?

Probably out of his peen, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he could create life with his peen and end life with it. For sure. Yeah. A little Freddie Mercury situation. And then in the end, he just forgives all, man. Yeah, dude.

That's what he does. The Lord does love you, dude. That would be fucking retarded, yeah. A little Freddie Mercury situation. And then in the end, dude, he just forgives all, man. Yeah, dude, that's what he does. The Lord does love you, dude. Yeah, that would be fucking, like, retarded, bro. If, like, you were, like, a sober dude, like, didn't do any drugs, and you witnessed that happen, he just shoots one little fucking grenade out of his dick, like, blows up a whole neighborhood, and then just dips. Wait, does he still have to pull the pin? Is he, like...

I was thinking more like a grenade launcher. Oh, it's just like... Almost like a rifle with a grenade attachment. He got that mortar dig. Yeah, like the MW2 attachment. You're dropping mad gun names, bro. M60, M16, AR-15, MP30. They're all Call of Duty guns.

I don't even think they're real guns, bro. I don't even think an M60 exists. I mean, someone could comment and fucking write an article about it. Yeah, no, it for sure exists. I'm just playing too much Call of Duty, dude. That's all it is. Yeah, but you're ripping. Yeah.

I'm like, yo, fag out. How many racial slurs do you get called? I don't go on the game chat. I just play with my boy. Oh, sick. I play with my boy. We make sounds and shit. Yeah, that's good. That's a better maneuver. One time I yelled, hold my dick while I shoot, faggot.

I screamed that, dude, at the top of my lungs whilst drinking a Monster. Just tore down this whole room, bro. I fucking took out a whole team. That's such a Mike Tyson quote, bro. What?

Hold my dick. Have you seen that interview? That was crazy. Yeah, bro. I'm from Namco. I am Jack Dempsey. I am Jack Johnson of Ferocious. I'm from Namco.

I'm going to eat his children. I'm going to eat his heart out. Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah.'s another one where like a reporter pisses him off and he's like i'll fuck you till you love me faggot oh yeah no i'm familiar bro yeah it's a heater bro it's a heater usually i don't interact with women unless i fornicate he's like oh my god bro did you watch the fight sadly yeah why would you do that man yeah i really should have got it yeah i would it would have been the move it was just i was in a green room and everybody was watching it and i was just yes you didn't pay for it no

oh my god dude if you paid for that you're a godless heathen from the depths of hell. Yeah. You should probably off yourself. If you paid American currency or any currency to watch that fight, like actually thinking like Mike Tyson might knock him out. Yeah. Like you're just not well versed with combat sports and how human bodies work and shit, bro. It's pretty sad, man. It was mad sad, dude. You just know legs, you know? He's 60, bro. And he hasn sad, man. It was mad sad, dude. You just know legs, you know? He's 60, bro.

And he hasn't taken care of his body that well. It's just mad damage. Well, I think he's on fucking horse tranquilizers, bro, but he's just so old, it's like... Horse trank? He's for sure on fucking steroids. Mike Ticey or Jakey Pauls? Bro, he's in his 50s.

Yeah, he's like almost 60s. For sure on a little TRT. I think so, yeah. A little testosterone placed there no doubt dude yeah but jake paul is on the illest steroids known to man you think so yeah like what fucking d ball and a ball my balls your balls fucking train balloon i don't know, dude. Whatever. I'm not a fucking, I've never done juice, but. So you think it's just like the workouts that he's doing, so he doesn't really look like he's on steroids?

No, he looks like he's on steroids. Really? Yeah, you're just thinking of like bodybuilders, but you don't have to look. So like, I'm just saying like if he was doing like a bodybuilding workout, you think he'd look like a fucking walking boner? Yeah, he'd probably have some puffy ass nips. Probably have some fucking veins and striations and shit. But yeah, I mean, he's visibly jacked as fuck.

He's a big, strong kid. Yeah, I don't know. Why wouldn't you be if you've got that much bread and there's that much at stake? Like, why wouldn't you be on the best steroids in the world yeah i just wonder what they are though maybe like some sort of performance enhancing drug that's just like maybe a little bit unknown steroids are performance enhancing because even if you're not taking them specifically for hypertrophy like even if you're not trying to just get swole yeah like they help your muscles recover so fast you can do a higher volume of training he probably just goes to a, like gets his blood work done a lot.

And then they just like recommend like the proper, like, it's probably just like testosterone though. No. I mean, I don't know why you wouldn't be taking a cocktail of really fire steroids. If you've got that much bread and you're like punching people in the head for money. Yeah. You know, but I just thought it was honestly somehow it would have been less fucked up if he just knocked

him out because he clearly could have knocked him out like towards the end he was just like like just playing with him and then in the interview he's like yeah i felt a little bad like i definitely laid off on the shots a little bit you're like bitch you set up the fight it's probably in the agreement that like mike couldn't get knocked out i don't know dude it's all so sheisty this shit just hurts my tummy bro just fighting old men and yeah fucking old ufc fighters and shit but making that much money dude it makes you think which i've never even seen that much money dude so if someone threw an agreement at me where it's like yo dude you're going to the bank like you're taking home this much i'd have to do some thinking man you wouldn't just outright be like show me who to bang

well that's what i'm thinking like they hit somebody call it 20 mil bro bro if someone was like yo you're walking home with 30 mil after tax i mean bro i'd fucking suck so many dicks yeah dude the whole stadium full of peens dude i would do a fucking blow bang at wembley stadium for that yeah dude the wembley bb like it's so much money dude yeah and like people suck anyway so it's like yeah you just have to live with that yeah dude like the inner your inner demons yeah you just have to like it kind of makes sense, dude, because you know who your friends are. Everyone else is kind of just there. You know?

Yeah. That's a wild scenario, bro. I just started actually thinking about even one row of dudes at Wembley. They're all just like, I want to put my knob in your mouth, there, salami. You're like 30 million dollars yeah would you do it for a cold mill a wembley full of peens no dude a mill no a mill today bro after tax or before tax after tax after i'm taking home a mil. One mil. I don't know. A whole row.

How many seats is that? Let's say 16, bro. I'm saying 10 dudes. I would blow 10 dudes per mil. 10 dudes per mil. If I have all day to do it. Damn. But then you got to live with, you're at Wembley, right?

Yeah. So that's mad foreskin, bro. Those dudes are all uncut. Yeah, but you can think are all uncut. Yeah. Yeah, but you can think about like all the greats that have performed there. That's what I would be thinking about. I would ask for like a 10-2. Dude is like Tyson Fury. Yeah, dude.

Fucking fast car played there, bro. Damn. Oh, Tracy Chaps? Yeah. Yeah, dude. She definitely. You think she's done Wembley? Yeah.

I think so. I don't know if she did Wembley or another one in the same area. Maybe a smaller one. Wembley's massive, bro. She did, I think it was Wembley when like fucking the blind dude couldn't, he couldn't make it. Fucking Stevie Wonder like bailed. I'm the blind dude and I'm sucking on his foreskin.

Have you seen that video on YouTube? Tracy Chapman singing Fast Car? Bro, it's like one of the craziest. That and ACDC live at river plate bro no bro you gotta watch it tracy chaps dude bro just get wicked fucking high and watch it dude you'll literally start crying i'll ball yeah hysterically i don't even have to be high or watch a live performance to cry at that song i know but you will dude it's like yeah think about woodstock like that type of energy

but she like calms everyone down yeah damn pro so like imagine being on that rhino shit with titties around you and the music's so good that you just think about your mom dude fuck dude love your mom would you bang tracy chaps yeah yes in her prime for sure right now now yeah just because it's tracy chabin yeah dude if we can listen to fast car while we do this all the strength yeah what if she hums it in your ear yeah man I would definitely ask her to sing to me and shit you would come faster she probably lives in like a log cabin or some shit oh he's like mad guitars and shit she could just sing shit to me mad acoustic guitars yeah bro just bust a notch have her sing to me and shit damn that sounds fantastic

bro you should dm her yeah i mean i'm not like listen bro i'm like maybe she watches the pot i mean i uh i'm actually like kind of into black women do like caramel women yeah there's a woman that goes to my gym she's like uh very fit bro yeah and i just like i think about her all the time yeah dude i've never talked to her but like i think i could do it i just don't know how like her family would look at me you know why are you thinking about that already dude you're trying because dude i heard they're like really strict about dress code and shit the blacks yeah black women oh how was your ex dude was she like picky about because you're like a fucking you look like a fucking abercrombie model dude so she wasn't she wasn't particular at

all no hey did you ever wear anything that like wasn't up to par though because you're always wearing like probably like my confederate flag t-shirt upset her a little bit dude you know i mean she was mildly upset by that she never brought up fashion one time where was she from uh like well which one there's more than one yeah holy shit yeah the one with dreads uh maryland for real but she But she was super hippy-dippy, so it was all just like dresses, and she had a cool style. But it was understated. You wouldn't know that she was like a smoke-smoke. She was like a legit hippie, though. She was like a yoga person.

Did you meet her at a retreat, like in the woods somewhere? No, that would be sick. Deep in the woods, just ayahuasca yeah because you're always off the grid dude you never know what you're doing yeah dude you ought to stay mysterious man you ever do like some naked and frayed type shit like have you ever done that before would i i've gotten naked in the woods before no have you like when you're doing these like when you go rogue like the grid, like where are you going? Yeah, usually remote locations.

I like going deep in the woods, getting naked. Not fully naked and afraid, though. How naked, dude? Like boxer briefs and socks. You know what I mean? You got to protect against the thorns and the bristles. So like wool socks? Like thick wool socks? Yeah, wool socks, bro. You wouldn't wear like a pair of sketchers or something out there okay maybe like uh those cool new snoop dog sketchers okay i love snoop d-o-double-g

yeah yo it's crazy that sketchers are like trying to be cool yeah they got tony romo dude they got like there's so many celebrities they got fucking Romo, dude. They got like a bunch of... Dude, they have so many celebrities. They got fucking Joel Embiid. Remember when Skechers were just for fucking stepdads and like science teachers? Yeah, I mean, right now, man, it's between Skechers and like maybe Asics or like New Balance for like the top dad shoe. See, but New Balance were cool and then weren't cool and then now are cool again. Well, New Balance are specifically for the Asian community. You think?

Yeah. It's like Hello Kitty, dude. Is Jack Harlow Asian? I think so, yeah. Oh. I think his great-grandfather was Asian. Jack Harlow. Aye.

The Asian ripper. Yeah, dude. Every Asian person I see is wearing a New Balance 550s. Damn. Yeah, Bally Leathers. Like, that used to be, like, a really popular thing in the 90s. It was like wearing a New Balance 550s. Damn. Yeah, Bally Leathers. Like, that used to be, like, a really popular thing in the 90s. It was, like, Leather New Balance. And then they became super, like, going to pick up the kids.

Just, like, goofy, those big, clunky white ones, bro. Yeah. I think Nike had the official dad shoe, though. I forgot what they're called. Which one? There's, like, a nike shoe that's like been around for like 20 years it's still around it's like the ultimate dad shoe it's like a fucking bricked up shoe it's like damn yeah you would know it if you saw dad gear huh yeah

i'm a big asics guy you like the ace yeah yeah asics make shoes bro like you can get uh i don't know if they're made in china or something they have certain shoes that they don't sell in the u.s like dude they have a fucking basketball shoe and it's supposedly like one of the comfiest fucking shoes why don't they sell it here i don't know maybe just because they just want to keep it for themselves dude damn so selfish that's how fucking up top it is damn you know selfish what do you wear when you ball i wear uh nikes that i got from alan moreau i was hammered one night at his house and i needed basketball shoes like bro i'll give you like 50 bucks and he was just like yeah man just pick out one of those he's got like 700 pairs of shoes bro i just picked out like the worst pair he's a

sneaker head yeah he's picked out like some orange crocs yeah i don't mind them dude they're all black kairi irving's they don't sell them anymore dude so are you a flat earther now yeah yeah just roll up with those doing the polo man i'm fucking unstoppable dude fucking yamming all those bro but are you from like a fucking rural area, dude? Because every time you put up a Snapchat of you in, like, Jersey, it looks like you're at, like, a fucking... Yeah, no, super rural. At a Zen center. Yeah, dude, it's mad Zen center.

Yeah, it's... My parents have una granja, bro. They got a farm. For real? Out in Jersey, yeah. You grew up on a farm? No, not really, but that's where they live now. Yeah.

What type of shit they got going for them? Bro, uh-huh got chickies we'd be getting them fresh eggs and then um they'd be growing sunflowers tomatoes corn we got a whole herb garden shit mad peppers bro they got jalapenos they got spicy peps out this bitch they got um some kind of gourds squashes you know like how to like grow shit yeah you like put it in the ground pour some water on it bro yeah as you're just getting high as shit just like flame throwing everything nah dude uh we grew some we grew some oh yeah yeah dude wow it's fire it's actually like very good though it's great well so there's two different strains and one is serviceable like it's fine but it tastes a little bit like hay like old man weed but the other one is

crazy bro like my boys try it they're, what dispensary did you get this? I'm just like, nah, bro. Yeah. And my pops just grew it. Shit, so there's, like, no, like, really, like, added chemicals to it? Oh, no, no, yeah. It's like old-school, like, Vietnam weed?

Yeah, dude. Tie sticks. So does that make you feel better? I think so, just knowing that it doesn't have any fuck shit in it. Do you know what, like, the chemicals are at, at like a fucking bodega that they put on it oh dude they're sprayed with terps so it's sprayed with like concentrated basically like they extract the smell of whatever strain it is yeah and then they just dump terps on it so you're like

oh this is fire lemon gelato and it's just mids bro it's just absolutely you're still you're still buying it no no no i don't fuck with any of the yeah i don't fuck with any of the bodega shit i have a plug or i get um like certain brands at a dispensary if i have to go that i trust or i mean there's still illegal ones you can get cali brands and those are way better bro you go to the new york ones yeah yeah fully the new york ones are trash bro yeah they're all official and you walk in there's people in lab coats and they're like how can we help you yes this one's fantastic and then it's old and like mids yeah because yeah i feel like if i ever do smoke weed again like if i'm older or something i definitely want to like grow my own yeah yeah yeah because then you know it's just

soil and water and the sun or whatever just like some old school like vietnam weed and shit dude yeah bro you said that twice now you like that vietnam weed dude yeah i heard it's the best man because you can just like smoke it and like do other shit but there's a bunch of sativas that are like that yeah you know yeah that are functional also it's just i think you just have to take a couple hits not like fucking chief bong you know i think that's what i would want like to bong it up yeah pop in the car dude just put on some fucking classic rock damn just play the what if game dude damn bro so fun uh but yeah did I got to head out, man. Oh, fuck, brother. You got to go pick up your shot. Get some fucking pussy.

Cheeks, cheeks, cheeks, cheeks, cheeks. Yeah, dude. I think the people know where to follow you already, but if you have anything coming up. Follow me, people. Nobody ever really knows what you're doing, dude. I know. I got to get way better at Instagram, bro. You say that every time, dude.

I know, dog, but I'm really going to do it. 2025, I'm going to do that shit, bro. bro your boy's gonna be posting four to six times a week watch me watch me uh but yeah y'all know where to find me taint winston t-a-i-t-w-i-n-s-t-o-n um i'm gonna be headlining at resorts casino on january 3rd and 4th so pull up and see your boy atlantic city new jersey god is good dude god is good thank you brother yeah always man