The Livy Method Podcast - Breaking Old Patterns with Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer - Winter 2026

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

In this episode, Gina is joined by learning strategist and author Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer for a thoughtful conversation about why change feels so uncomfortable, especially when it comes to health, habits, and weight loss. Together, they unpack how shifting routines around food, portions, and self-talk can trigger feelings of instability, fear, and second-guessing, even when the change is intentional and supportive. Dr. Deena reframes discomfort as a meaningful part of learning and growth, reminding listeners that sustainable progress comes from curiosity, awareness, and changing inputs over time rather than chasing quick fixes.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2026Where to find Dr. DeenaInstagram: @awakenedlearningWebsite: www.awakenedlearning.caDr. Deena's books:Feel Good LearningRaising Well LearnersTo learn more about The Livy Method, visit livymethod.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams for my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on ACAST, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon music. We're focusing on sustainable habits, not quick-fixing.

Is it an opportunity to get curious? We're here, help people get to their health goals. One piece of a time. We know we need to change, but my goodness, it's so hard to change the things that we need to change, to make sustainable changes. We can't just keep doing things the way we've always done things, because we're a product of how we've always done things we want to make change, Why is it so hard?

Joining me today is Dr. Dina Kera-Shaffer, learning strategist. She is author of the book, Feel Good Learning and Raising Well Learners. She is back today. Hi. Oh, hi. On that intro clip, it was summer tan. Oh, that was a bit hard to see. What?

At the beginning when we had, oh, God, it was really nice. It reminds me a different time. on our show intro clips you're talking about. So I know. We're like, it's been a polar vortex. And yeah, we're like,

I mean, I love it. It's beautiful. The change of seasons is always great. You know, as much as we, yeah. Right.

Like as much as we complain about the heat in the summer and the cold in the winter, which I always find fascinating because we do. Change is good. Change is good. But why is it so hard to change? change, Dina. Oh, hi, everyone. What way to begin? Why is change so hard? Yeah. Well, in a way, you're asking yourself to move from like an already set established groove, a way of doing something, a way of coping, a way of identifying, a way of thinking about yourself, a way of talking

to yourself and your own mind, you're changing a relationship with yourself. So in a way, how could it be anything but, I mean, we say hard, but like let's, we could make it more nuanced. How could it be anything but uncomfortable or disorienting or even discombobulating? We're actually stepping into your program. We're stepping into learning from you in order to do that unearthing an order to discombobulate our lives. That's sort of the point. Yeah. Because we can't keep doing the same things, the same inputs and expect a different output. So we're changing the inputs, right? We're changing the way that we relate to food. We're changing the way that we relate to and engage in movement. We're changing the way that we prioritize sleep. And so those are

so critical in order to have a different output, that outcome that we're moving in the direction of. So it can't be anything other than at times discombobulating or uncomfortable, but at other times exhilarating. When we glimpse those changes, when we feel different and that different is better, clearer, motivated, alive. Changing the inputs to change the outputs. This is like, I mean, a reason why Dr. Dina is on this week with downsizing. So for the last few weeks, people, they start the food plan and they're unsure about the food plan, right? Eating more often, not sure about it, have questions. They're, you know, worried about not counting and weighing and measuring because how are we going to lose weight? And then they get used to it and they feel

great. And I think they know it's just like giving your body all this good nutrient rich food and eating enough you feel satisfied. And then we go to the tweak this week, which is just slightly less going from feeling like you've had enough to just purposely leaving yourself slightly unsatisfied. And it's so hard for people because the field, but I'm afraid of feeling hungry. I don't want to, I don't want to waste my food. I'm like all of those feels come up. We know it's the point, but it's still so hard. How do we break through that? First of all, before we, before you answer that maybe like can you describe some um the uncomfortable feels like is it second guessing is it nervousness like what what do you think some of the fields or if you could describe them that our members

are having so they can be more aware oh i mean one of them foundationally is a lack of safety oh it's a feeling of being destabilized it's a feeling of being unsteady so here's a thing that from the moment we're born, like the sort of external nourishment, and you're not taking anything away, but that can be the sensation of what it feels like. And can we just step sideways for a second? Like, if you know Gina for 10 seconds and you understand she's a bit of a purposeful provocateur here, you're meeting it on purpose. Like this is all, every single moment and invitation and step is purposeful. So yes, are you beginning to nourish your future body today by doing like incrementally less?

Yes. But you're also being asked to like, notice how you feel that. Notice what comes up. Notice what happens when you do this. It's an experiment. And this week we're in the petri dish of you're having one bite less what happens. So what do you feel? I mean, there's going to be myriad feelings depending upon the meaning that people attach to it.

whatever that thing is that's arising. But one of it is going to feel, I'm not very safe. One of it is going to feel like, but what if I, what if there are big emotions that come when I'm hungry? Because I, like, I soothe myself that way. What are the other things? This is the next ripple effect, right?

The beauty here is cool. If it's, if it's not going to be food, that's the soothing coping strategy number one, then what else is in your tool? box. What else is your being your repertoire comprising? That's the exciting part here. You get to build other tools and you test them out as you go. So the strategist in me, this is the best stuff on earth. One week contained in community where you can use those, you share those fields on Facebook,

like share it with the community here. Share it in your journal. And it could be that each one of those questions you just asked? Like, can I really do this? What if I get too hungry? What does it mean to not finish all the food on your plate? Because I didn't grow up that way. Every single, great, use one of those questions each data journal. Explore it, go into it. Where did it come from? How is it inherited? Is it yours? Do you want to hold onto it anymore? Can we like unpack that backpack and go like, that's actually not helpful on this particular journey? It could be a worthwhile experiment. because I think for some people it's unexpected, even if, you know, this is your 27th program, right? Every time what pops up can be different. You're just unraveling layers and layers and layers. And every day it could be something different. Because there's no, how do we keep tabs on that?

Like we're trying to establish like we're trying to get a handle on everything. And yet there can be different stuff coming up. There's different stuff coming up every week, let alone every day. How do you keep? keep up with that. Is it just, is it just picking one thing each day? Yeah. I mean, for me, it begins with the kind of starting approach or the starting stance. We're never going to really be in control of very much. Things aren't really ever going to be steady for very long. Like, so if we expect it to be different, it's really our expectations that need to go. Isn't that like adulting lesson number one for all of us? Like we all kind of get kicked down and go, wait a minute, but I had different plans, see? It wasn't supposed to go this way. So great. Like, I don't mean to be Debbie downer here, but that's the invitation. It's like when you're unsettled, what do you do?

When it doesn't go as you'd hoped? What do you do? So if you're a little bit hungry, what's your go-to? Could you move? Could you talk? Could you have water? Could you have a bath? Could you journal and then like what is the emotion what is the mood what is the impulse 20 minutes later like even if you set a timer can i sit with this for 20 minutes and see if it's the same feeling or if maybe like a flock of birds it's it shifted oh the intensity eased huh that's an interesting like little lesson there for me that's interesting feedback so what do we do when everything changes this again, I think, is one of the most beautiful and poignant parts of your program. It's a microcosm for everything. Everything is always going to change. Our relationships change. Oh, my goodness, our career

profession changes. Our family structures change. Our location and home change. Like, it's the weather. So it is changeable. What do we do when everything around us changes, small or big changes? What are our go-toes? What keeps us feeling grounded, well, connected, okay or okay enough? Because, and this is like back to the safety thing, the ground isn't going to, like, open up and swallow you whole. When you're hungry, if the big feelings come, and listen, I've done Gina Livy program. Like, I've done this too. Okay. I mean, my gosh, I was an overeater.

And is there another language for that? because that sounds terrible and so judgmental. Like food was one of my core coping tools from as early as I can remember. And so what we're all here to do is build a more loving toolbox. You said like I'm thinking about right now, there's so much going on in people's life. I saw this comment from Colleen. I already fell off because I didn't want to go out for groceries. I'm so disappointed that I let myself down.

after my friend passed away. Like that's so much. Like there's so much chaos outside of our lives that it makes sense that we, we love our routines. You said grounded, connected, routine and safe. Yet what we're trying to do in here is almost disrupt that. We're trying to below it up. So it can land in a way that supports the change that you want to see and the change that

you want to be. That's right. Yeah, that's, that's a lot. It's a lot. And it's on purpose. It's on purpose. Right? And so it's an invitation.

It's an invitation. Yeah. And so for this beautiful human Colleen, number one, I'm so sorry. I know. Number two, as we know, life never stays the same. And what we don't have to do anymore is the all or nothing. I've already fallen off. I'm going to punish myself.

I didn't do it right. Then I just have to quit. I'll join up next season. Nah. No. Okay. It's Tuesday. Yeah. And we got a lot more days this week. And some is better than none. Yeah. Let's do that again. Some is better than none because downsizing. We have people who are new, people who have been here for a while. Some people will be able to do all the things on the program. Some people just some of the things. They're all worth doing because it's getting you one step closer to your goal. And there's just seasons of your life where maybe it's easier.

You've had programs where it's easier and then programs where it's harder. Some people are like, well, this person is leaving food on their plate and this person is starting with smaller portions. And yes, there's a rhyme and the reason to the way that we do it. But just being here and trying it is enough. At what point do you, though, hold yourself accountable for your excuses or your try? Is there anything such as excuses or your little bit that you can do? you need to push yourself to do more? Like, where's the line on that? That's such an interesting question. And I know, I'm not sure if there is a fixed one or at least I, maybe I have to come to terms with

my own feelings about that. But I love that you're asking, you know, I work with students day and day out. And that's something that comes up all the time. It's like I didn't have time. I didn't have time. And then lovingly, without shaming, we go, let's check your screen time. Yeah. We know. We know. We know. Right.

Didn't have time to crack open that book. That's cool. Oh. Five hours on Instagram yesterday. Okay. So when we say there's not enough time, what we might mean is it's really, really hard to do the thing I don't want to do or to do the thing that feels difficult to start. Or where does capacity fit in? What's the difference between capacity and really hard to do?

the thing. Yeah. Right? This, I mean, an easy one is exercise, right? Like everyone has five, 10, 15, 20 minutes in their day, probably the exercise. But it's like it's, it's, is it finding the time or because when I was on my app, I just needed a minute or is it capacity? What's the, what's the difference there? So I think about capacity as inner resourcing. And inner resourcing is helpful in a way to, to that like task initiation part, the getting started. because if we're like the cognitive load, everything, the demand of our life and every, God, the kids are da, that, that, that, that. And I've got all the plans and all the to-dos. And I have the backdrop of the world. And so there's a lot going on. And is it easier sometimes to go, well, I just,

I just can't right now. All I need to do is watch heated rivalry. Like that's all. Oh, yeah. It's always easier to do that. Yeah. Totally. I love medicine. Have you started watching that? I have watched all of it. And love medicine. Yeah, but how did I do it? This is so, of course, how did I, how did I do it? That's when I did my workouts. Oh.

It was like deep snow. And I could have said, because I go to local Y. Oh, my God, so difficult to get to the Y. Okay, it is difficult. And also, I'm not, I'm not going to not move my body today. I'm aware that it helps me sleep, makes me feel better. stronger, how can I make this fun? Heated rivalry fun. How can I make this with less friction, more easeful? Great. I just put out my weights. It's not all or nothing. It's not an hour at the

Y or nothing. It was 20 minutes. Am I tired? Yes, but this is your excuses question. It's so great. Does exercise ever make us more tired? No, only when we overdo it in exercise. Exercise actually gives us back energy. Does physical activity ever take away the minutes in the task list, the never-ending task list of all the things we have to do? No, physical activity is additive in terms of energy, not subtractive in terms of minutes. So we have to be careful about the language and the interpretation. A kind of helpful thing is what is the most honest, what is the most honest thing that's happening here and second what is the most skillful next step so i don't feel like it i'm tired i don't have time so for question number one what is the most honest thing that's happening here it is really

difficult to go from sitting to moving it is really difficult to go from i'm doing my computer work to i'm going to change out of my clothes i'm going to go work out yes that's all true yeah um also i don't feel very confident at it i i don't feel very strong yet i don't feel like i don't feel like I'm good at it. I don't feel like, I don't feel very coordinated at it. Yeah. And then the next one would be, well, what is the most easeful and skillful thing that can happen? Okay, skillful is, fine. Don't change, but I'm going to do some squats in my workup or my work clothes. I'm going to do some pushups on my knees. I'm going to do 10 minutes. Do you know what we normally do is we'll put on a timer when I work with students. I really find this boring. I really find it hard to get started studying. or writing or reading. Do 10 minutes because usually what happens after those 10 minutes is it's easier to keep going. That's why there's that thing, the 10 or 15 minute rule. It's not like there's some magic, the alchemy of 10 minutes or 15 minutes.

It's simply the act of getting started. So where I think about capacity is, let's name all the things that make it difficult to do that getting started work. Yeah. we can honor them and we can do it anyways. Because that's that when you're like, oh, just do 10 minutes. I'm like, fuck off, Dina. Like, fuck off. I'm not, no one wants to do that.

But that's the point. That's the feeling you don't want to do that. So that's pushing through the uncomfortable. Yeah. So it's not the 10 minutes. Yeah. You give yourself the bailout. If you really, like if you have the flu, when you say like, I don't feel like it, great.

If after 10 minutes you feel worse, that's a good indication stop. But very seldom do we feel worse. We're able to keep going another 20. I can do another 20 minutes of reading. I can do another 20 minutes of studying. I can do another 20 minutes of working out. Is this conditioning? Does it get easier?

Like the more you push through those harder things, does it get easier? Yes. Yes. You are showing to yourself over and over that you can. And you're building momentum. Right? So one of the, that's funny, Seinfeld actually talk about this and whatever, this I'm going to like age myself here. But it's this technique of with scheduling, put an X through a day. If you cross, you know, the boxes of the days of within a month, put a, put an X through it. So I'll say this to my students who don't go to class. They always skip their morning class. They have every reason why they skip their morning class. Put one in and then connect the X to the next day. You get three, four days of. a row, you're not going to want to disrupt the flow. You're going to want to keep crossing with that. Really weird things like that. Just small little hacks and tricks. So yes, you are,

you are building a muscle. You are trying to write the ship. You are trying to kind of like take it out of one groove, a habit groove, a routine groove, and you're trying to establish a new one. So when you talk about making change or embracing change, you are in effect breaking habits and building new ones. That's never not effortful because it's a conscious decision. I'm consciously choosing different and that takes mental energy. It costs us something to do in the short term. It's work. You have to be intentional about it. I hear Trina here. I have done this program a few times and this week is where I really struggle because of the change and discomfort that I'm feeling and it echoes through my body as hunger, right?

The self-sabotage is trying to come in. I won't let it. I have been, I have really been putting in the work and journaling to work through these feelings. And this talk is so far as exactly what I have needed today. Five minutes in and I keep saying yes, yes. Yes. Okay.

So here's the thing that I love. This is for returning members. And Trina, what you just said was gold. if there is a place in the program that you already have had prior experience that's hard. You've like run into the place. You meet yourself. Yeah. Oh, that freaks me out.

Oh, I can't do it. Oh, I never get past it. Yes. What are the conditions you're putting in place this time to do it differently? So, hey, Trina, are you getting on a phone with somebody every single day? Trina, are you booking in the movement before you can ask yourself, do I want to? to you is it in the calendar what are you so that's capacity Gina that's your capacity question how do you shore up your capacity for the moments and the places in this program that you can

anticipate are going to try and rattle you the awareness though is key right like sometimes people like oh i'll keep doing this so this is the point in the program i do that and oh i just oh you know i've i'm falling out because of this i'm like well one you're still here and two you're so aware Wait, how far is that, how far is the next step from awareness you know you are doing it to actually do something about it? Like what? And is it, is it, is it like what, what gets us over that from awareness to addressing it or doing something about it? What a thoughtful question. So many are thoughtful and are self-aware. They know, they know they're doing this and yet they keep doing it and they want to not do it. But what is that? Where's that bridge?

Yeah, well, awareness is wonderful, but awareness is an action. Yes. Right? So we can be really aware of injustices that are happening around us, but we're not taking action to dismantle or disrupt them. So we can be aware of our habits. We can be aware of our, like we can become more aware of our blind spots. That's sort of what you're asking us to do. That's the unlearning.

Yeah. That doesn't mean we're going to act any differently. And so what I'm asking folks to do, right? So how we talk about hope isn't a plan, awareness isn't action. Not yet. It's a critical component. But then what are the pieces? What are you doing in your planner?

What are you scheduling for yourself to make the smallest possible first step of that action easy to do? Are you making it fun? Are you making it less lonely? Are you making it incremental? what are you doing? That's that's the skillfulness. So I'm aware. I'm aware of what's coming.

And I'm aware of what pushes my buttons on this Livy method. Hey, next step is what am I, like what are the actions that I am planning for? What am I putting in my calendar? Who am I reaching out to? What are the foods that I've either taken out of my house or brought into my house? What is the meal planning for this week?

How am I taking care of myself? Like this would be the perfect week. the perfect week to what's your local sauna what is your best pal get distracted go for a walk what can you implement to truly do it differently oh you know i didn't even notice i was hungry because i was walking with a pal i didn't notice i was so frustrated or that feeling of destabilized didn't last very long i went for a walk oh my goodness i saw cardinal i listened to the podcast i replayed gina's podcast from this morning you know i've always hated journaling picked up a journal this week. It's not for everyone, but it could be for you, even if you've hated it in the past or felt resisted.

Yeah. We're putting in place to support skillful action this week. Yeah, this is that psychology of ever where we think we're doing all the things, but are we actually doing the things that we need to do? Like putting it together. And it's not doing, I think it's not spending enough time figuring out what we need to do, right? That's like we, you know, I'm this one not a fan of let it go or whatever. You're, there's, there's. There's. awareness piece and then you know maybe you have regrets of you know what you're doing or not doing and then you know what you need to do but do you really know what you need to do you know the feeling of thinking you know what you need to do when you're not doing it but are you actually taking a minute and putting pen to paper or just being like okay why why is does this keep happening what do I need like that what is my plan for this totally that's self-inquiry that getting really interested and curious about why is this difficult? What is this bringing up? Whose voice is this that I've

inherited? What is the language I'm using? Like, think about the number of times we've said, it's hard, it's work. It's hard. It's work in these 20 minutes alone. And I hate saying that. Right. I don't, you know, I hate saying that. Shorthand. Like we're, you know, we have a short conversation. We're keeping it real brief. But what is it? Like, what is the tonal quality for for folks out there? Is it that it's reminiscent of something? Is it that you have to give yourself permission to leave a little food left on the plate because maybe that wasn't your upbringing? Is it that it's distrust? Man, everyone else has duped me about this stupid diet shit. Like, I just don't believe that this is going to work because everybody else has lied to me. Yeah. I don't believe I can ever feel differently

in this body in this lifetime. Yeah. Okay. So that's your, that's your prompt. Go for it. Go for it. You don't have to keep it trapped, right? So if we think about stress and burnout, Like a dog shakes it off. What are you going to do to shake it off? You don't have stuck in that like, you don't have to keep it trapped. You don't have to keep it trapped. Because we don't trust ourselves. We think that if we don't keep a trap, it's just going to be fucking chaos.

And we're not going to do. We're going to do the opposite of what we think we should do. Yeah. Or there's shame, right? And what do we know? My God. Thank heavens for Bernie Brown. So we know about if we just, if we share it a little, even if it's sharing with

ourselves out like on a journal outside of our own mind. I give it some daylight. I give it some air. I give it some space. Oh, man, that's been locked inside. That doubt or that skepticism or that deep hurt. Oh, oh, right? So that's the compassion medicine. That's the tenderness medicine of this. Like it doesn't have to stay stuck and it doesn't have to stay in there as shame. This is why we always feel better after talking to someone who truly listens to us. This is why therapy is so great. And they're not like telling you what to do. They're just allowing you asking you questions so you can listen to yourself.

And so many people don't have someone who listens in that way. Right. So you have to be the person who listens to yourself in that way. Yes. And Gina, I think that's one of the core lessons of your program. Nobody is going to prioritize you, but you. Nobody is going to say it's bedtime now. you need some rest. Go lay that body down. Nobody's going to say, I think more movement would be

helpful, but you. And so that can be scary. That can be a lot of responsibility. Or it can be like full agency, full empowerment. Oh, wait, like I can give myself the things that I need. I can say, hey family, this girl needs some rest. I'm going to take 20 minutes and lie down. That's you. You can do that. What are the permission slips you need this week? Permission to the snacks, not the meals, downsize one meal. Permission to when you're feeling stress, the big feelings, permission to go for a what permission for a warm bath, even if it's in the middle of a day.

permission what are the permission slips you can give yourself this week to shore up your capacity especially if this week is rattling jody i hear your music i hear you i'm not no i'm not done yet i love that permission i feel like so many women this this this whole program is a permission right like and they tied around dieting like they give themselves they allow themselves permission when they diet but this is a this is something that comes in when we're in maintenance because now that I don't have this project to do, I'm not allowed to spend this kind of time on myself. I have to go back to prioritizing others. That's a whole conversation for another day.

Yeah, Dr. Dina Careyfer, we love you, we adore you. Again, this is an awareness conversation with some tips and strategies to bridge that to the doing part. Before we go, I know you have some offerings coming up. You can reach out to Dina and check out everything she has to offer at her website, awakenedlearning.ca. you can pick up her book, Amazon, probably a couple of other places, both of her books. She also is not just hugely helpful here. She also helps students. You have a course you're running.

Do. So eight weeks, less than $10 a week, helping students, giving them one strategy, one tool to help them do better and feel better in school. Come training. Tonight. I love it. Okay. Amazing. Thanks, everyone who joined us live or after the fact.

Have a fantastic rest of your day. And we'll see you next time. Bye, Dina. Thank you.