The Livy Method Podcast - Building Routines for Lasting Change with Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer - Winter 2026

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

In this episode, Gina sits down with returning guest Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer, learning strategist and author, to unpack why perfection isn't required to make real progress. Together, they explore the value of starting “imperfectly and incrementally,” especially for those who feel like they’ve already fallen behind. With personal stories and relatable insights, Dr. Deena shares practical mindset shifts to help members drop the all-or-nothing thinking and embrace showing up, even when it’s messy. If you’re feeling frustrated, stuck, or just unsure about how to keep going (or just get started), this is the conversation you didn’t know you needed.You can find the full video hosted at:www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2026Where to find Dr. DeenaInstagram: @awakenedlearningWebsite: www.awakenedlearning.caBooks - Feel Good Learning, Raising Well LearnersTo learn more about The Livy Method, visit livymethod.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy, and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams for my 91-day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews, and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on ACAST, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon Music. We're focusing on sustainable habits, not quick-fixing.

Is it an opportunity to get curious? We're here, help people get to their health goals. One piece each of time. You build and build and build. Dr. Dina Karat Schaefer is joining us today, and we are talking about building routines for lasting change. She is a learning strategist. She's also an author of the book, Feel Good Learning and Raising Well Learners.

Not only does she show up in our group and help us reach our goals, but she also helps everyone, including those who are younger and older, do the things that they need to do to be able to accomplish the things that they want to accomplish. And I appreciate you being here. Hi. Hi. We're both a little froggy, eh? Both little...

Yeah, I had that like super flu last. week and I lost my voice for like four days and it's just coming back. And I hear that you also are having, you're having a bit of voice issues. Yes. I was working with some learner clients yesterday and it was going and it was going. And I said to my kids last night and like, listen, I'm talking with Gina tomorrow. So we're just, we're closing up shot now. Point. Write it down. So I'm here. I got this. And then after today, we're quiet again. Okay. I'm glad to be here, though, and hi, and hi to every new person and high to every returning person. It's like we're already pals.

We're part of a community that you have made, Gina. And I love being here. And I'm so honored to land in the same place as all of your exquisite. I was calling them Livy Lovelies, like all your Libby Lovelies. So thank you for having that. It's such a great vibe. I love that people are so excited when they sign up. people are reaching out, oh my goodness, I'm new and I'm already feeling better and I love it and

it's so great. And I think people don't truly recognize what they're signing up for when they are new. And I'm excited about that. You know our members. You know our members. You have been through the program yourself. So here we are. We're day four. There's still a sense of excitement. People are hopeful. They're optimistic. Some people are frustrated. As you know, unfortunately, we've had some app issues. I mean, there was a time where we didn't even have an app with the program and it still worked for people. It's how we got here today. But understandably, they're frustrated. They wanted to start perfectly. And so what do you say to people who had this idea because we do this with diets, I've got to have it perfect. And if it's not perfect, then I've messed it all up. And then maybe I'll

wait and try again next week or maybe I'll wait and do the next program. What do you say to people who are still kind of holding on to that mentality? I cannot that you are asking me this. And if one of my, so many of your beautiful community members wind up seeing me or sending their kids to me, it just so happens that last night I was working with, and I know we're not supposed to have favorites, but like one of my favorites, and she might be here. And we, we, I can't, like, it's uncanny that you're asking me this. we talked about instead of all or nothing, instead of the most impeccable workout routine or

plate of food, can you on purpose give yourself permission to start imperfectly and incrementally? Imperfectly and incrementally. Yeah, it's not, it's not any one big thing that you are going to do. it's all the small things and it's it's showing up as long as i say as long as you keep showing up you can't mess up three months is going to fly by so quickly and it's really the small things i mean 10 years ago i was so broke behind in my rank up my car repossessed my marriage was a mess i was like didn't have a clue what i was going to do and now here i am and people are like wow how did you do it i don't even i don't know i don't know because it was just being a hot mess but i didn't give up and just day after small things that I did added up. And I think we're trying to accomplish weight loss here.

But making sustainable change and reaching goals is that's universal, regardless of what you're trying to accomplish. Yes. So number one, if anyone's new, there's the authenticity you're going to get. Like, this isn't some wildly strategic master plan you have in the most authentic human being you could ever meet, which means there will be some F bombs, which I happen to love. I find the very medicinal level. But the thing that I hear in all of the flurry of frustration in the first couple of days, which would have been there if there was an app fail or not, because that's just all the beginnings of things are. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's the whole point. How do we deal when we are faced with friction or challenge? What do we do? Do we go, well, this is never going

to work because of a tech fail? Did we not all just make it through the pandemic where it was like, one giant tech fail after another, I would give keynotes halfway through the internet would drop. I mean, that's just how it is. So what do we do? And really, it's asking us, like, how do we cope when the wind is not at our back, right? Like, they're a little bit exhausted when we're frustrated, when we have a conflict in our relationship, when my goodness, this idea of like, you're only as happy as your unhappiest kid. There's a, in our caregiving, there are a lot of challenges that we face and you know like an app mishap okay and then what like then then what do we do what is that feedback about the tools in the toolbox about what we do and we're like inflamed or

aggravated or frustrated have your feelings and then can you still show up what can you do that's for me the most interesting question what can you do to take care of yourself to begin playing the seeds of a new routine instead of, well, this isn't going to work. There's all these things I can't do right now. I don't know. You can still show up to the Facebook Live. You can still ask your pal who inspired you to sign up. What are you doing today?

Could we go on a walk? What can you do imperfectly and incrementally? And do you suggest people journal that? So, I mean, I love this question for some folks some of the time. I am because of who I work with, right? So I work with learners of all ages and some are going to have ADHD. Some are going to have a diagnosis or not. Some are going to have a learning disability.

Some of the learners, young, mature, will have cancer and the medication impacts their memories. Some are menopausal. Some don't have a diagnosis but suspect that something is up. Some are injured. Some are just heartbroken. Some struggle with perfectionism. There is never going to be a one-size-fits-all, which for me is part of the magic of your program. If journaling is either something that you are inclined to,

towards like that actually is helpful or is something that you're like flat out I hate that well there's some like interesting feedback to investigate what's the worst that's going to happen you're going to confirm that it doesn't work for you or you're going to confirm that it's a useful strategy there is no singular strategy this is a multimodal program like the learning experience designer in me is like that's what's so awesome about it so just to say this some people are going to much prefer to voice note it. Voice terms. Call a pal and be like, I want to vent all the things so that I don't eat my entire fridge.

Great. What's the journaling or something else that moves the stress along? Okay. What's that? So you have to be intentional about figuring out what works for you. You have to be intentional. You have to be open-hearted. You have to be curious.

Open-hearted and curious. How do we know what works for us? We know what doesn't. We're coming in really being asked by you to reflect, how has all that stuff been going? How has your relationship with food or movement or sleep or stress or community? How's that been going? Because if you're here, you're hungry, you're desiring something more, something more useful, something that feels like relief of hope and something that works.

Well, and I find with that, and, you know, I know the living method works. be up here showing up every day and, you know, trying to, lack of a better word, sell the ending of this. I know it works. But for so many reasons, people don't really believe it. And I get it and I understand it. They sign it for 91 days. That can seem like a long time. Like that can really seem like it goes by so fast. Let me tell you, y'all, it goes by so fast. But that can seem a long time. And if it's different than what they're used to, it's hard to trust that. So what do you say to people are like, well, they're trying to switch things out. They're trying to do things their own way. They're trying to maybe control or just normalize. Like, how does someone deal with

that? Yes, they signed up because they know it works. Maybe they have a friend doing it. Yes, they signed it for the 91 days, but that can seem like a long time. And then it's different. So I don't know. I love this. So you don't have to trust it. You really don't have to trust this at all right from the start. Bring all. of your skepticism, bring all of your doubt. That's not going to change the impact. I don't think it's through wishful thinking or being necessarily all in. I love when people are all in. What a gift. Yeah. Like, you're coming with a life. You're coming with a body that has been hurt and harmed by systems that have duped you. I'm so grateful this is 91 days instead of

nine. And like, don't even get me started on the New Year sprints, the challenges, the 30 days. Like, enough. 91 days is helpful and is for most people just the beginning because what you're doing is like imagine the biggest possible ship in the ocean and there are like usual currents and the usual wind patterns and you are trying to course correct. You're trying to turn the ocean liner that takes some time. Yeah. And you're going to be battered by other winds like a tech app not working the first day there's going to be things that come up right and so what like how do we keep trying to incrementally imperfectly keep moving in the direction of our heartfelt aims which is what we showed up here with that's what we signed up for i don't i i would never say to another person right

like i work with people who have been traumatized in school and by school so i'm going to say trust me from day one trust my team of learning strategists no but you can still show up and bring all of your good questions bring all of the spiciness yeah and do the thing do the thing if jean is asking us to reflect on some questions to consider perhaps this supplement to really look at curating this sort of rhythm and cadence of eating the livy method you can doubt it all you want do it anyways it's like doing it whether you're motivated or not motivation is with you some days yeah but don't wait for it to knock on your door because it's not going to most days we can anyways and this is what i find again one of the most beautiful undercurrents yes this is around

rethinking our relationship with food and nutrition and our bodies and movement but people wind up through this program also applying it, this transfer of learning to they're entrepreneurs and they start something. They have wonderful shifts in their relationship. They have wonderful shifts in their holistic health, right? Like the ripple effects are extraordinary. You don't have to trust it. But like if you wanted to write a book, if you wanted to do a TED talk, if you wanted to launch a business, you are not going to trust that that's going to work out every day, but you're still going to show up and do it. You're still going to write 50 words a day. And you're going to do it, whether you're motivated or not. That's why you're so successful, Gina. It's like, there are days you didn't want to show up, he showed up.

So we can learn from that success. That's how you build it. Little, little building blocks over and over and over again. And you also learn from the things that you don't do or the choices that you make that you don't want to make, right? Like having that pizza or having that thing, there's so much to be learned by did it bring you joy, right? What happened to your, what happened with your thought process afterwards? Were you, was your go-to to punish yourself the next day? Like, there's so much to be learned by not being perfect. Like, You learn so much from, I don't want to say mistakes because they're not mistakes, but you learn so much by not doing the things that ideally you want to do that are going to move you forward. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, I'm adjunct at TMU. I teach 250 students every semester, the big how to learn course and how to cope with when learning doesn't go or feel so good.

Oh, yeah. And one of the most powerful lectures, the ones that they always ask for is about growth mindset. And we have to talk. It's like we're scared to use the word mistake. or roadblock or setback or failure because we're it's like we we're not used to talking about that and also giving ourselves grace at the same time like it's either we're punishing ourselves or we just avoid the whole thing but i have come across in working with a colleague this beautiful acronym for what mistakes stands for so if we think about the word mistakes means i start to acquire knowledge, experience, and skills. Boom, Dr. Beverly, that's for you. An acronym I didn't make it, but I'm using it. Mistakes means I start to acquire knowledge experience skills. So what if we thought about mistakes or like the things that we bump up against as the, as where

knowledge experience and skills come from? And so when that, when you have that pizza and it's late at night and you go wait a minute now in whatever form of documenting or reflecting you like and it could be a journal could be the journal it could be an app whatever if there's a moment with grace to go how does my body feel how did it help and you can give yourself your own guiding questions because look the learning strategist in me is always obsessed with making the how transparent and concrete if we just say to a person reflect what does that mean i was like a theoretic word out there yeah but if we say reflection means check in with your body, check in with your mind. Ask yourself, what happened? Like, what was the consequence? So did, did it help me or did it hinder my sleep? Did it help me think

clearly? Or did it sort of give me that cognitive fog? Did it give me energy and fuel for the next day? What was my inner dialogue? Those are helpful questions because it's really want people to tap into their own inner wisdom. Yeah, I think sometimes people are like, what's going, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Rather than like, what is going on with me? You talked about avoidance. We know we got a meal prep. We know we got to drink our water. We know we got to work out. We know we got to do these things. My room has been a hot mess for like, I don't know, three months. Yeah. And my plan was to have it cleaned up so I could be fresh space, fresh mine come January 1st, then I got sick and then this app stuff and working around the

clock. And every day I'm reminded that I'm a hot fucking mess. So I'm avoiding it. Even when I had time yesterday, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go up there. I're going to clean my room. I avoided it. So whether this is like, you know, you're avoiding your hot mess room or you're avoiding the things that you need to do here, what is that about? Why are we avoiding the very things we know we want to do beyond just need to do like for all those people who said they were going to go to the gym and haven't gone to the gym yet right for all those people who were going to meal prep have meal prepped yet like why do we avoid things or how can we how can we stop avoiding the things that we know we need to do and quite frankly we actually want to do but we just can't seem to get do them okay

well so three hours later we might come to a little bit of a start but um like it's it's too rich but what I will say is, for sure, of course, there's fear. For sure, of course, there's self-protection. But where I can be most helpful is when a task remains undefined, I'm going to clean my room, I'm going to meal prep. It doesn't give you much of a way in. And it really sounds, if you were to write that on a to-do list, the only possibilities is, like, I've either done all of it or I've done none of it. Oh. Not helpful. Right? So, I work with students. If you write down studying, if you write down write an essay, how easy are either of those tasks? They're terrible. But if we said instead of studying, do 10 chemistry

questions. Instead of writing the essay, write the intro, write a hundred words. We've given a clear container and boundary. Instead of, I'm going to clean my room. I'm either going to do it to time, 10 minutes. I'm just going to put on my favorite three songs or a timer. And I'm going to do 10 minutes, whatever 10 minutes is, or I'm going to do a specific task, like define the task, I'm just going to do my night table. I'm just going to put my clothes away. Got it. That's good today, okay? Meal prep.

What does meal prep mean? I'm going to think about the next three breakfasts. I'm going to plan where my water breaks are going to go. Like what can you bring to that task to define what the end is if a task remains without, any end, well then who on earth would want to start it? It's just too difficult. So I work with learners who have the hardest time starting. It's called task initiation. Make starting the thing you want or have to do easier. Reduce the friction. Reduce the friction. Reduce the friction of starting. And one of the ways you can do that is to define what starting is. Just define what it is that you're

going to do when you clean your room. Well, cleaning your room might actually take months if it's decluttering and reorganizing. I've got to find storage bins. This has to go to another place. I would never want to start that. Like, we're going to find the dollars and pay someone else to do that. That's terrible. But I can put my clothes away from the laundry. That I can do today. Talk about starting imperfectly and incrementally. Okay. Love that. What about, um, so, many obstacles, right? There is, you know, let's say someone travels a lot for work. Someone does shift work. Someone's taking care of their aging parents. Someone's working three jobs. Someone's dealing with an enormous amount of grief. There are so many things in life that make it so hard for us to

take time for ourselves to do the things that we want. How do we continue to show up and do the things when we're also dealing with all these obstacles in our life? I don't know if you, would Do you call them obstacles? I don't know. Challenges. I don't call them life. How do you do this program when you're also lifing at the same time? You're also lifing.

So interesting, you're asking this. I'm just reading a midway through Elizabeth Gilbert's down to the river. And she talks about how much we take on, how much we do, all the caring, the extending. There is a lot that happens in each of our days. and what I wish so much for everyone. I mean, I wish this for me. I don't come here as being like, well, I got it all figured out, Gina Zolo.

Like, let me preach it to your folks. Same. Same. Same. Yeah. All legit in this together. I think about, oh, my goodness, I think about how that's the point.

If I have a student and they're like, okay, just like stay with me with it for this metaphor for a moment, if you will. I have students who concoct sketch. This is like a classic first year mistake. I'm going to put all my classes on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and I'm going to take Mondays and Fridays off. And I am going to get so much done on my days off. Oh, my God, what happens on those days? Like, nothing happens because you did too much on the other days, right? Life lesson number one, right? We got to spread out the work. So when I think about students who then are like waiting for the perfect moment to study, right? I got so much.

Sean. I got my part-time job. I got my internship and I got this and this. I'm going to find the perfect five-hour swath of time where the library isn't too loud. I slept super well. Last my relationship is A-plus. My friends, everything's going so great. Oh my gosh. I got like went viral on this, whatever, TikTok. Life is humming along. Then I will do five hours of stint. It's like nothing works like that. Also, P.S. That's not how studying should work either. If we wait for the stars to align and for us to feel the perfect amount of energy for us to have the, oh my God, the right amount of money. Like if I'm just financially useful enough, if everything is humming in my relationship, then I can take care of myself, or then I can start the program I really want to,

or then I can begin the business I want to. It just doesn't go like that. For any, like, for any human who's what more than one years old, it just doesn't go like that. So how do we start something, even if it's this much of the day in the shitstorm that might be your day today? You know, and this is, I've sat down in front of so many clients. I'm like, okay, this is my time. The next three months of my life is this. And I'm like, oh, shit. Like, you just wait.

There's always something like that comes. The decks never stay clear for very long. We all know. So how do you foreground yourself in your own life? Yeah. It's going to take care of you. Like, that's the most painful grown-up lesson. Yeah.

I lost my parents when I was super young. And it is a lesson that I have wrestled with. It is just the truth of the matter. We take care of ourselves because no one else is going to for us. But it's not a burden. That's where it can say. It's not a burden to drink the water. It's not a burden to prep the meals or to go for the walk or whatever movement and physical activity is for you.

What a gift. What a gift to take. care of ourselves to learn what taking care of ourselves means. Yes, because when we bring this back to weight loss, it's not just losing the weight. It's being able to maintain it and sustain while you are lifeing. Right? It's those tools and those skills. Everyone wants to start perfectly. I could give a rat's fucking ass how perfectly they start. It's all about being here at the end. Right? It's all about being here at the end how do people what's your one advice for them to like understand it's so important because this program is a cumulative it's building it's a method it's a system you got to follow through

you got to finish and you want to because that feeling that you're going to get on the last day honestly you won't even care what's going on the scale you'll be so proud of yourself and so happy with how you feel but how do we how it's how do we bridge the gap between starting and finishing is this something we just chat about along the way and we do like incrementally or what what can what can you what can I have some strong feelings about this question Tina so I may say something a little controversial go for it so I think the usual advice picture it in detail day 91 what is it going to feel like what are you like your radiant luminous self what are what are all of your wins and actually it's funny because newsletter drops today and it's literally about this because because what is everyone

talking about right now goal setting what are your goals what are your intention to do there is a fatal flaw in goal setting fatal flaw in picturing the end a little too much because what often happens is we're in it, we're savoring, we're like, oh my gosh, I did it. I know it's day number four, but I'm picturing day 91 and I'm like, yes, I can see it in full glory in detail. And then like, oh, and that's a wrap. I like felt so good about that moment that I didn't do the practices. And the research bears this outching. It's riveting for students who are like, I'm going to get an A by the end. I'm going to absolutely be on the dean's list. I'm going to. I'm going to excel in all my courses and close the laptop.

I feel pretty tough. Like, I feel good. So the way to get through that to actually inhabit that successful end is what's called mental contrasting. What is that person doing on day 91 that you need to start doing day to day now? Ooh, yes. How does that person show up? How do they, what does their morning routine look like?

What did they do along the way? Right. Every day to get there. Because picturing it isn't enough. And I think we are of disservice to people if we're like, if you picture it and you want it badly enough, that that's enough. That is going to be the motivation to carry you through. But it's often a slog and you do it anyways, even if you're not motivated.

It doesn't mean you're unhappy about it. It doesn't matter if you're motivated. it doesn't actually right we can do the thing whether we want to do it or not action precedes motivation we want to do it because we're doing it yeah listen i'm the worst salesperson for this program because it is hard it is so hard it is so hard but you can do it you can do it and we put together all the resources possible for you to be able to achieve it you got about 30 seconds to explain that you know we have our app we have our facebook group we have our your program guide we have our you know, journal, you know, our guest experts, like you are offering incredible resources for

people. How do people cut through all that noise, not feel overwhelmed? I know this is a loaded question, but you got 30 seconds go. I want more. Fine. So I would say begin with the easiest step. It doesn't matter what anybody else in the community is doing. It doesn't matter what your pal, who looks so awesome, radiant, and you were like, I want what you have and then you signed up, but they're doing it a different way. Yeah.

Don't do it like how anyone else is doing it. They don't have your life. They don't have your grief. They don't have your heartbreak. They don't have your body history. They don't have your trauma. If what's easiest is listening to the podcast after the fact to that,

if it's easiest to journal do that, if it's easiest to use the app, do that. If it's easiest to pop in the Facebook, do that. What is the easiest, most accessible first step for you? Because you never, You never intended, I'm sure of this, for people to do literally every single thing, and it's a buffet and you choose the modality, you choose how to access this. For me, it is one of the, like, your guests aren't paid.

This is one of the reasons I show up again and again and again. I love it. I love it. It's, for me, it's neuroinclusive. It's life inclusive. It's trauma inclusive and aware and awake and sensitive. People carry huge histories and it just, and their brain. work in interesting ways and there's menopause and there's grief so there there are things that make

some ways of at like some access points just more resonant great do that what is most resonant what feels like a relief what feels easy you start there yeah i love that i set the bar real high there's so many things you can do but it's not about doing more and more it's about figuring out what works for you where you're at what your capacity is uh dr dina carershafer ever Everyone, like she says, we do not pay our guests to show up. And I love that because they are here because they have a passion for helping people and they know how hard you are working. I promise that I would keep you all up to date on what our guests have going on. Tonight, Dina's offering an academic reset next weekend. She's talking about anti-burnout strategies. And the BOD squad, which is Dr. Beverly David, Dr. Alinka and Dr. Dina are starting up their next installment of a burnout free. year. You can head over to her website. Check it all out. Reach out to her awakened learning. dot CA. You can also reach out to her and follow her along on Instagram as well at Awaken Learning. Thanks to everyone joining us live. Thanks to everyone joining us after the fact.

If you asked a question today and we didn't have an opportunity to answer, pop it over on the question of the day page and we'll answer it there. Thanks everyone. Have a great day. Dr. Dina Kara Schaefer, always so grateful. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.