The Livy Method Podcast - Emotional Eating Unpacked with Sandra Elia - Winter 2026

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

In this episode, Gina sits down with Sandra Elia for a powerful conversation about the difference between emotional eating and compulsive eating, and why that distinction matters more than people think. Together, they explore how restriction fuels the binge/restrict cycle, how loneliness and shame can trigger deeper patterns with food, and why self-judgment often keeps people stuck. Sandra shares candid insights from her own journey and explains why sustainable change isn’t just about what you eat, but how you think, cope, and care for yourself. It’s an honest, compassionate look at breaking the loop and finding a way forward rooted in awareness, support, and self-love.You can find the full video hosted at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2026Sandra is the founder of The Food Addiction Recovery Program and the author of "Never Enough: Three Pillars of Food Addiction Recovery".Find Sandra Elia:Instagram: @sandraelia.cawww.sandraelia.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams for my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on ACAST, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon music. We're focusing on sustainable habits, not quick-fixing.

Is it an opportunity to get curious? We're here, help people get to their health goals. One piece of time, you build and build and build. Sandra Alia is back and joining us today. She is the founder of the Food Addiction Recovery Program. And if you haven't got it yet, the author of the book, Never Enough, three pillars of food addiction recovery. Hi, good morning.

Hello. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I feel like the, even though we're due for a snowstorm here today, I feel like the winter kind of fog is kind of lifting. I'm, you know, I've got a taste of some nice weather on the weekend. And I, my cup is full with, you know, family. So I'm feeling good. You? Yeah, same. We got some sunshine. I had time with friends. I had to balance work in this and weekend time, which, you know, I made mistake and I did a little bit too much work this weekend. But as they say, live and learn and do what really matters at the end of the day.

And what really matters is when I'm focused on my family and the friends and the joy they bring to my life. Well, last time you were here, you talked about being prepared for the week ahead and not just meal prep, but prepping your social time and your connection with people. That hit home for me. And I've been trying to practice that. Yes. Yes.

So do I. I have to. I'm such an extrovert. And loneliness for me is an. absolute trigger to eat emotionally. And I mean, I could go back in time. And for a lot of people, loneliness is besides the fact that we're human. But for some of us, you know, as children, when we were alone, that meant danger. It meant when we weren't safe. And so even though I'm fine and I'm a full grown adult in my own house, when I feel lonely, it just triggers something in me and I want to

eat. Oh, okay. Let's unpack that. So fast. Let's get ready to do it. Let's unpack that. But before we do, you know, because a lot of people are talking about feeling lonely and especially in the eating in the evening. And that's where they have a hard time with the eating part. But can we just talk about, you know, in the past we've talked to you about emotional

eating. What's the difference between emotional eating and compulsive eating? Yeah. So emotional eating is more like, oh, you know what? I overdid it. I ate too much. I feel so full. I couldn't take another bite, right?

Like, you know, it doesn't feel great. Compulsive eating is I over ate, I messed up, I'm a loser, I failed, I'm never going to get this. I can't believe how horrible I am. And now I just want more. And since I've blown it, I'm really going to blow it. And I'm useless. So very different, right? Because we're all human.

And we all overeat sometimes. And yes, sometimes we are even emotional eaters in the sense that, you know, I broke up with my boyfriend. and so I sat down and had a pint of ice cream, but I don't want to do that again. It was fine for the moment. Instead of causing the spiral shame and the hunt for more and what's next and what's next and really going to town with blowing it. Okay. So it's less about the actual active eating itself and it's more the thoughts and feels that

pop up after you are done eating. So I think a lot of people here suffer with, I don't know if you say suffer with compulsive eating or deal with compulsive eating. because it's, especially after years and years of dieting, it's a vicious loop, right? We want to indulge in something because we think it's going to bring us joy. It's going to help us feel better. And then just the immediately the regret and the berating and then the punishment that follows. And then we, you know, then we don't eat because we have to make up for what we did eat.

Yeah, it's a vicious loop. So you said such an important word, the loop. Every time you restrict, just please, everyone keep this at the front of. of your head. Every time you restrict, it will lead to compulsive overeating. Compulsive overeating to restricting will lead to compulsive overeating. And round in round we go and you got to find the exit point. You know, if I think back to my 20s when I was a hundred pounds heavier, I couldn't even sleep in bed with my husband at the time. I had to sleep on the love seat because of my lower back and lying flat was not possible for me. And I would wake up on the

leapsied every morning the sun would be coming in through the sliding glass doors and I'd be like oh my god what did I do last night I feel gross I don't know what I'm going to wear I'm dreading the day I don't want to see anybody I feel like garbage and then feeling like garbage is like an internal assault and guess what's really soothing food right and so even being stuck in that that when we put ourselves down when we have that punishing environment, we're going to reach for food. So often the way out is some love, right? Like, think about it. Compulsive eating. It's hard on your body, but my God, is it hard on your emotions? And so what do you need? What does someone need when they've been to a really hard time? Gentleness, love, encouraging it. And so one of the ways that I got out of it in my 20s was after a

compulsive eating episode, I do mirror work. And I get right in the mirror and I look in my eyes and I'd be like, it's okay it's okay i got you i still love you you're still good you're still worthy of good things because i don't believe in cheap love so what is cheap love cheap love is i look good i say all the right things i do everything to please you you love me sure why not i'll take it i'm more interested in high-end love right when i make a mess i look like a mess i fall down i royally mess up and you still love me and you still got me, that's high high end up. And the only reliable source of love is from yourself, right? Everybody else is near humans. Well, you know, yeah. And I think, I think, so there's awareness. I think everyone knows there are, everyone is aware when they are emotional

eating or compulsive eating. But how did you get to that point where you're like, okay, I need to actively actually do something about that? How are you able to. get to that point to give yourself that higher love? Was it just, did it just accumulate over time? Like, can you kind of walk us through the steps of what that might look like and feel like? Yeah, it's a daily practice, right? And so when I think about the relationship I had with food, it was a relation, it was mirroring the relationship I had with myself. And yeah. Yes. Yeah. And the relationship I had with myself was not good. And it was abusive. And I was ignoring all the things that were broken in my life because I didn't want to face them.

And I really believe when we do that, then we got to reach for something to make it better. I got to reach for food or alcohol or shopping because I don't want to face all this other stuff. And so like any broken relationship, so imagine you love somebody and they broke, you trust, they cheated on you. But you love them so much that you're going to try to repair it. So how do you repair? The way you repair with someone else is how you repair with yourself. You repair through consistency, through kindness, through showing up, through sitting through the

garbage, seeing the value in the person. And so start with yourself, repair with yourself. And then food doesn't need to fill the void. It doesn't need to feel that emptiness that you might feel. And it's not the consolation prize for the life unlived. Yeah. And so my favorite question when someone talks to me and goal weight is about, very popular term out there. So someone will say, my goal weight is to lose 50 pounds. I'm like,

okay, great. So tell me what will life look like when you lose 50 pounds? Yeah. What's going to be different? How are you going to show up differently? And they'll tell me all the things. And I'm like, start doing that today. Today. There's no reason, right, if it's like, I'm going to do the beach vacation, do it today. I'm going to buy bathing suit. Yeah. I'm going to start dating. Do it today. Do it today because a full life allows food to take its rightful place. So this is what makes it a little bit more difficult is because we use food for so many things. We use it to celebrate to show love. We obviously we enjoy it.

We also do use it to cope. And, you know, we use it for a variety of things. So a lot of people, their sense of comfort food, for example, is indulging in, you know, wonderful food around wonderful people. And how are we able to live our lives and enjoy the foods, but then also get out of that loop that keeps happening with, you know, maybe is it, are we using our, are we using, with compulsive eating, are we using the food to cope? Yes. Yeah, that's exactly it.

So it's using food rather than taking in nourishment. So when you are looking to food to alter your state, to quiet the noise in your mind, quiet the critic voice, to feel less. lonely, to feel less stress, to deal with my divorce, then you're using food. Very different from what you're describing. You're out with friends. You're enjoying a beautiful meal. It's celebration. And I believe your body actually takes in the food differently because you're in a different state. You're in a state of connection and joy and love and take in the food. That's why in Italy, I truly believe that I can have the pizza and the pasta. And it doesn't affect me.

First of all, it's different. But also, I'm just a different person. And I didn't realize that until my daughter every year says, I want to go back to Italy. I'm like, why? We can go anywhere. And it's because I'm different. I'm at peace. I'm fully alive. And then food, it doesn't really matter what I eat.

But that's not what we're worried about. We're worried about the person on a Friday night who is alone, who starts on that spiral, who eats way more, who can't get back on track the next day. And it spills into Monday. And then suddenly they're like, well, I guess it doesn't work. This doesn't work. So I might as well give up. And I'm hopeless because this was the last stop on the block.

And now what am I going to do? Very different scenarios. Okay. So how do we break that cycle? So I love the mirror work. I like the positive affirmations. What or reformations? What else do we do?

A couple of things. If nighttime eating is a problem for you, that's called a ritual. It is become a habit. So your Friday night ritual that you've done hundreds of times. it becomes who you are. We're all made of rituals and routines. And our rituals and routines will either give us success and health and happiness or they will hurt us.

And so we have to become super conscious that Friday night ritual is unconscious. You've gone unconscious. You're going into the habit. It doesn't serve you. So what is the plan? You have to be super intentional about it. So making up a schedule, like I eat dinner, then I shut the kitchen down. In today's world, so many.

people have their kitchen in their living room, right? I used to have a condo like that. It was all open and I loved it except the kitchen's always there and that's a visual cue to eat. Now I live in a hundred year old home. My favorite thing to do, I clean it all up. I shut the light and I walk away and in my head, I'm like, the kitchen is closed for the night. There's no more eating because the kitchen is closed. Next, connection. Or every night until this, the new ritual is built. Are you going to call somebody? Are you going to text somebody? Are you going to email somebody? Are you going to do Facebook? love, descendant loves whatever it is, a random texts of love. That's something I often do as well. Then is it creativity? What's next? How can you keep your hands busy? Is it adult coloring? Is it knitting? Is it crafting? I have friends that knit, they knit all year round because guess what? Those are Christmas presents. And I love a homemade, knitted Christmas present. One of my nieces, she does needlepoint. So she does needlepoint greeting cards. That's how she does. Whatever it is, it's music for you, maybe it's dancing for you. And then get to bed at a reasonable hour.

Nothing good happens after 10 o'clock. Just go to bed, especially your home. If you're out, like I'll stay out till 3 in the morning. But if I'm at home, there ain't nothing to do after 10 p.m. Might as well get some beauty sleep, let my body restore, wake up early. Like, that's the other problem. People stay up until midnight or 1. Now you haven't eaten in six hours.

Your body is going to be hungry. So intentional, conscious routine in the evenings. And another tip that I want people to take away is when you get a craving, ride the wave. So the wave, right, it starts with a little idea. It's a little inkling. Ooh, there's leftover. Wouldn't it be nice? Today was hard.

I need a treat. Then the wave peaks. And that is when it's the most painful. That's when you're doing the mental tug of work. Should I? Shouldn't I? Maybe I will. Maybe I will.

Maybe I won't. Maybe yes. And if I can surpass the peak, it will peter out just like a wave. Nothing in nature is permanent, including a thought, including a craving. So tonight, try this. Get a craving, grab your iPhone, put on a 20-minute timer. And now we're going to distract, distract, distract. And I think the best craving buster is actually movement.

So if you want to be like, I'm going to clean out this drawer. And then I'll eat. Just tell yourself, like, don't fight the earth. She'll be like, okay, I'm craving this. Yeah. Get the timer. I'll have it in 20 minutes, but first I can clean this drawer. Or I'm going to do a little dance.

Or I'm just going to quickly vacuum. Or I'm, you know, wash my face or really, or do my nighttime routine. That's a really good one. I've tricked myself many because you wash your face, floss your teeth, brush your teeth, and then get your jammies on. And in 20 minutes of passing, you're like, ugh, I don't want to eat anything now. That's so weird. What happened?

Nothing like floss teeth to make you not want to eat. Right. And so what's the connection? there. It's just like that physical reminder because at the end of the day, you don't really, we don't need to eat. It's more of a wanting to eat as a coping mechanism. You've recognized the behavior and these are the things you're trying to do to interrupt the behavior at the same time instilling new routines to create a new behavior that supports the life that you want to live. Exactly. So think of a craving. It's a brain trigger. So craving response, craving response.

and you've done this for years. And now you're going to say craving equals this. It equals brush my teeth. It equals clean a drawer. It equals call a friend. And then you create this new neural pathway that becomes automatic because the trigger eat became automatic. You did it enough times.

Now we're making a new one. And after a while, you're going to be like, oh, my God, every time I have a craving, I feel like brushing my teeth. I don't know what happened. Yeah. This is so important because, as you know, people are here. They're trying to lose weight. trying to lose it in a way you're going to be able to maintain and sustain, right? And you may be

able to continue to indulge in all those things when, you know, and still be able to lose weight. It's not going to stop you from losing your weight because you're still doing all these other things. But the reason why people gain way back, one of the reasons is they fall back into old habits, right? And that's this, you really have to watch out for that. So the more you can break and work on those, those new habits that you're creating that support how you, when Sanders says you lose that weight, how do you want to feel? You want to live that now. But you do also want to think about down the road. How does that version of you, how do they handle stress? How do they cope? I want to talk about the next day part. That's some great tips for handling in the moment. What about the next day

when we do find ourselves emotional eating, compulsive eating, waking up, feeling regret, feeling those feels that you shared with us. What do we do then? Yeah. So one of my favorite things to say, and maybe this can be a mantra for people, was yesterday is a moment in time, gone forever. There's nothing I can do to bring it back. Nothing I can do to change it. It is gone. The only thing that will keep it alive is my remorse and guilt today. So I have a choice. Either I live over there where I can do nothing about it or today is a new day. And that's the great thing about living on earth. The sunrise is every day. Weather behind clouds or in full. And that means I get another crack. Today I get another chance to be a better mom, a better sister, a better everything. And we

all get that chance every single morning. So are you going to hang on to the past or are you going to give this moment like a rebirth into trying to get? I believe every weight management journey sits on two pillars. The first pillar is your plan. And so the Gina Livy program gives you the plan and it gives you nutrient dense foods and when to eat it. And then the other pillar is called resilience. How many times can you get up after falling down and how quickly can you get up? See, we've been taught to believe that success is no detours, no mistakes, and it's only with food because nobody else expected anywhere else in life. Like if you're trying to become a lawyer, you might have a fail a test on the way, but no one says, oh, I guess I can't be a lawyer now.

They just course correct, but we do this with food. And I'm sure you see this in your program because you have specific start dates. And so then, you know, I see it in my programs. They're like, okay, great. So I'm just going to like eat everything, get it all out of my system. Then I'm going to start on Monday. And there's no judgment in that. I was there. I did that. And then I'm going to start on Monday. It's going to be like a light switch. And I'm just going to change completely overnight. Nobody changes like that. It's always three steps forward, one back, two steps forward one, right? As long as you keep progressing. And the way you treat yourself when you fall down will determine whether you get there. That's the secret.

Is there any right time to emotionally eat or compulsive eat? Like, you know, there's got to be those moments where you're just like, F it. Like, I just can't right now. We eat because, you know, it distracts us. And yeah, we feel bad afterwards. I guess it's, if it's, it's okay to do that as long as you don't have the aftermath or the spiraling happened. Do you? I had a client. He was meal. And I'll never forget. this about him. So he had a very traumatic childhood and he was a compulsive eater and he managed to take it from like five days a week to once a week. And he said, you know, Alexandra, I'm comfortable that perhaps for the unforeseeable future, I need to binge once a week. It's contained. I have no

shame. I tell people. I let my family know. I binge once a week. That's how I deal with my childhood trauma. But it is so much better than five days a week. And he has health. And I think it was the dropping of the shame. And I wish I could reach out to him today and say, I wonder, did that, because the shame was gone, did that even one day drop away? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. We had an incredible spill-the-tee conversation, which we do with our members. And she was talking about the weight of shame that she's carried over the years for not being able to lose weight, for her husband, for her daughter, like all the diets she's done. And then, you know, the weight and gained it back. Like that shame is, uh, that shame. It's so heavy. If you carry shame,

I want you to visualize this. We're all on a journey and weight management journey is a little bit of like climbing a mountain, right? It's tough. You got to like slug it out. And if you are carrying shame, you have a 50 pound knapsack on where other people are just carrying their body way up. So you can let it go. You can put it down. I always say put it down. Look, your program's 90 days. Put it down. If you miss it at the end of the 90 days, pick it up again. Right. Just deny access to that. Shame means you're no good. And that is a lie. That's a lie that when you internalize it causes you pain and then food will comfort you. You were born good.

You came into this world good. You were born good. You came in with the spark of the divine. You have a confidence, a calmness, a magnificence. And then we lose our connection. That's what happens. We lose our connection. because stuff happens, sad stuff, traumatizing. Maybe you had people tell you you weren't enough. You weren't good. But guess what? It's still there.

It didn't go anywhere. You lost the connection maybe, but you can reconnect to that place 100%. Yeah. Gosh, I love that. I adore you. It's work, right? So yesterday was the Lunar New Year. And how you start the Lunar New Year, you kind of keep going for the rest of year.

So you don't want to complain. you don't want to talk about certain things. You want to just like spend time with family and and, you know, and not like you don't rag on your kids. You just. And it's also, there's some good things. No cleaning. There's like, so there's things that you do. But man, or work too much.

I had to make a really conscious choice to stay in that, you know, positive mindset where I wasn't complaining about this or stressing about this or working about that or thinking about this, really trying to be in the moment each day. It takes work. Yeah. Well, I have an issue going on with one of my siblings. I'm one of four. And can I be angry? 1,000 percent. Is it justifiable? Yes. I decided actually this weekend, I'm not paying the price of anger anymore. I'm done. I'm done. I'm just reaffering, I'm at peace with my sibling. I am. I am at peace with my sibling. I am. I cannot carry this anger. I can't find a way out. I got to surrender this to the universe to God to figure. out it's not for me but when i'm in that space of anger holy moly my energy goes down opportunities go down my work isn't as good like it's just you don't even know the price you pay for anger until you stop being angry and you're like i breathe different my shoulders are down why am i sleeping better you don't know until you stop you know we have this um dr beverly david a clinical

psychologist who comes and joins us. Obviously, therapy, right? Hugely beneficial to deal with your emotions and things that you have coming up. But rarely is it tied really directly connected to how food is involved. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And that's the other thing. When you're angry, so little as possible, right? So I want you to understand that whatever state you're in, that will dictate what is possible, whether you can do the meal planning, whether you can do the movement, whether you can do the connection because if I'm in a state of anxiety of feeling bad about myself of shame,

very little as possible. And so a turning point for me when I was in my 20s was I decided if I never lost another pound again, it didn't matter. I was a compulsive way. I weighed myself two, three times a day. I don't know what I thought would happen. I was always heavier before bed. Like I was just glutton for punishment.

I was like, how much weight did I gain today? Obviously, I gain weight. It's just water weight. And I said, I don't care if I ever lose a pound again. I just can't live like this and I can't eat like this. And I got to find a sane and peaceful relationship with food. And that was the turning point for me. When it wasn't about restricting or counting calories,

it was like, how do I relate to food and how do I relate to myself? And I am worthy. I am. Even at this, even at my heaviest, even off work, even like my marriage falling apart. Like there was nothing that wasn't spiraling. out of control. And yet I was so worthy of good things. Who. Non-negotiable. Non-negotiable.

Non-negotiable. Sandra joined us earlier in the program and, you know, address nighttime eating. And this is, you know, so many people, this tends to be when it hits them. There's a comment here. I do, I do eat comfort food as a strategy, especially the PM snack when I add hummus or dip. It's calling for me. Isn't it, isn't that okay if I'm choosing food from the plan. And then she says to clarify, if I eat popcorn, then I totally zone out and eat the whole bowl. So I don't choose that anymore. I mean, I think when it comes to nighttime eating, yes, of course, it's great if you eat healthier, more nutrient-rich snacks. But if it is messing with your sleep, then is therefore messing with your body's ability to focus on fat loss.

And then therefore, you are upset about what you are seeing on the scale. I think that can be problematic. Yes. And it shouldn't be a punishing program, right? And so somebody wants to have hummus with their vegetables. And now you're questioning, is that really a good idea? Is that comfort? And then it becomes a punishing program. Have the fucking hummus. Who cares? It's good for you. So I agree. And if I think back, there happened to, like I remember after my mom passed away suddenly, I did make my dinners more comforting for sure they were not binges or compulsive eating but i was like yeah i'm having a big bowl of rice tonight yeah i'm having more tonight and it was a self-soothing but i didn't tip over to destructive eating if that makes sense so there i i only really have two ways of eating if i'm going to

be quite honest i have pretty much clean eating or destructive eating i never learned to eat in between. I'm still working on it, I hope. I hope to retire in Italy. And I think that they'll teach me how to eat somewhere in the middle. So, yeah, so I did comfort eat after my mom died, but it wasn't destructive. Yeah, I mean, you go in Italy. There's not a supplement store in a gym on every corner. You know, people are, they're out being social. They're walking. Their stress levels are different. They're taking their time to eat food as opposed to just, you know, wolfing down all their food in like five minutes because that's all the time that they have, you know, in between meetings or whatever. It's a different lifestyle. Before we go today, just quickly, how do you,

how do you deal with, though, being out, like making good choices during the day and allowing indulgences like during an event or whatever? Like, how do you handle that? So I think if you're going out to a restaurant or an event that you should pick a meal that you think is delicious and luxurious for you, right? And that might be steak and lobster. that might mean like a nice rice dish. It doesn't have to be something that's been in a deep friar that has, you know, terrible chemicals in it that really inflames you and makes you feel horrible after. You can be indulgent and it can still be really good for you.

And, you know, I'll steal a quote from Dr. Sandy Van. She's like, when you look at a dessert table, be like a judge on a cooking show. Don't just take anything. Be like, what's really worth it? What's like homemade? What's special? Like don't eat Halloween candy. Like if it's come from Switzerland, do it.

But why Halloween candy? That's like, yeah. Choose something that, or also indulge in your everyday food, right? Like smell it, taste it. Yeah. Time for that. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes when you go out, it is the event. Like if you had reservations at a restaurant or your, you know, the food is the event. And there's nothing wrong. I think it enjoying that because that's what you're going there for. as opposed to being out and, I don't know, picking up every adurb that walks by, even past the point of being hungry anymore. Or enjoying that. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Present and conscious. Well, I could talk to you about this stuff forever. If you want to talk to Sandra about this forever, she's actually creating a course, which is a perfect compliment to what we are doing here. Do you want to share some information? Yeah.

Here we go. So it's a six-week course, me for the living community. So it really does align with all the principles. that you're learning and you'll find your friends there. It's six weeks, starts on March 3rd. And we meet every Tuesday from 7 to 8, but it's recorded. So if you miss it, that's totally fine. And we're going to cover things like thinking traps that lead to compulsive eating, nighttime eating, emotional eating relationships, which we didn't talk about having healthy boundaries. Because if your relationships are toxic, it's hard not to eat emotionally and re-wireing

that inner voice. Love it. And so you. You get a discount. Yeah, she's also given us a promo code. Livy Love, I love that, for 25% off until February 21st. So that's this Saturday, you guys. So if you're interested, you can head over to Sandra's website, Sandra E-L-I-A-D-COM for more information.

Before we go, final words, I'll leave that to you before we go today. Yeah, I think that starts from a strong foundation. So many of us who eat compulsively didn't have a great foundation in our families and our childhoods. So now you need to recreate that foundation and let it be with unconditional self-love and self-acceptance and nurture and be kind because that's what? Humans flourish in kind nurturing environment. So create it for yourself.

Yeah, I love that. Thank you. Thank you, everyone who is joining us live for listening after the fact. And of course, Sandra Leah. Thank you so much. Always a pleasure. Until next time. Bye.