The Livy Method Podcast - It's not selfish to focus on you.

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

With parenting, stress, and the constant pull of everyday responsibilities, Gina Livy and Maintenance Program Manager Odette remind you that there’s never a “perfect time” to focus on yourself, and waiting for one is what keeps you stuck. This episode is about showing up anyway, even in the chaos, reinforcing that lasting weight loss and mindset change come from learning how to navigate the hard seasons, not avoiding them.
The first step to sustainable habits is to start them.This episode aligns with day 15 of our Spring 2026 maintenance program. You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/ginalivymaintenanceandmindfulnessTo learn more about The Livy Method and our Maintenance & Mindfulness group, visit livymethod.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm going to be honest with you. This podcast is unapologetically a hot mess because that is what midlife feels like sometimes. Why, though? And how do we make it better? Do we all just need facelifts and JLP ones? I mean, let's talk about it. No bullshit, no wellness wankery here because we're trying to make real change and change is hard. But we're in this together. Welcome to the Livy Method podcast. Hi. How are you? Good. I'm sorry. I got your text. I was doing a million things and told you. Tony brought me food unexpectedly. He was here. The empty chair. So I started eating it. And then I totally forgot. I had to come on. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to do. Read your text. I was like, we're going to go join when you're ready. We got this. I was on my phone scrolling. So I got the text. The text came in. I was like, oh, where am I?

I've got a pack. I'm procrastinating because Tony and I are. We're going to Ottawa today driving 15 hours. And then, yeah. So I was like thinking about the laundry I haven't done and stuff I need to that there's no time for anymore. So anyway, enough about me. How are you? I'm good.

I'm good. Speaking of Ottawa, so I can share some news. My daughter got accepted to the University of Ottawa. Yes. Yeah, so she'll be going there in September. So I live in Burlington and we have about 10 amazing universities within an hour from us. She's going to Ottawa. So true.

I'm trying to take it personally. Well, I'll be doing that drive too, so I feel for your drive. I've done it twice in the last six months. Things might change. My son went to Guelph, right? He was going to go to O'Ked for art. And I just, I wasn't sure the right decision that he made. He went to Guelph.

We were so happy to have that traditional university experience because O-Ked is like downtown Toronto. And that's just a whole other thing. So he went to Guelph. Then he decided he didn't want to do art anymore. He did really well. So then he's been home taking like science classes and chemistry. in physics and whatever.

And he applied to, I think, U of T and a couple other places and whatever. And then one of the classes that he needs he can't get, so he's going to take it in summer school. And so he's now going to take a gap year and go to Japan and teach English for the year. So talk about far away. I said to Tony, whose idea was this? Tony's like, it was mine. And he loves it.

And I'm like, you're going to send my baby boy to Japan? Are you kidding me right now? So, well, no, Ottawa doesn't seem so bad. Yeah, well, that was my point and tell you. It wasn't trying to one up with my story. No, no, I get it. Yeah, but he went to Japan. I know we're making this all about us today.

He went to Japan previously, right, for three weeks or something? And did amazing thrive, right? He did. After his dad died this summer, he had, we had the trip booked. And he speaks fluent Japanese. He taught himself, and then we got him lessons. But he speaks and writes and reads Japanese fluently. and it's just like thing he doesn't even talk about.

Like he has Japanese friends and they don't know he speaks Japanese. So yeah, you know, I want him to go off and be independent and adventurous, but I also don't. So because I have one who's older and she is far from independent. And so it's everything you want your kid to be and I hate it. It's like this, it's like this catch 22. Like you're super excited, but your heart just aches for them at the same. It's for them to be with you to be back, to be here.

Yeah. Yeah. Here's Judy. That's great. I'm in central Ontario. My daughters chose Western and Queens. So both were a long drive along the highway. Yeah.

It's what we want them to be independent, but then we can get out of the house and then we miss them when they're gone. Anyways. Yeah. I mean, it is. Pardon? I was going to say, like, what we have going, I've been thinking a lot lately about what we have going on is the conversation.

Yeah. And I don't know about you. Well, I know about you. There's always something going on. And you've been dealing with some heavy stuff with your dad and your sister and your son. And I just, is it our age? Is it our age or is it the craziness of how we live our lives now? It just seems like if it's not us, me, that has something that's you or it's someone we know. And there always seems to be so much. There's never a good time to focus on yourself because we're just, there's a lot going on. I think there's never, there's never a good time to focus on yourself. And there's never a time where you can feel, not that we want to feel on edge and we're waiting for the next shoe to drop. That's not what it is either. But there's never this time where we can just feel like we can exhale and be like, oh, this is easy now. It's going to be easy from here on out. It's going to be easy forever now.

There can't possibly be anything else that's bigger or worse or, you know, not. not this happy fluid place. It's just like this little babbling brook. No, it's like you're in the rapids constantly. Like you're holding on for dear life. And like I said, you don't want to wait for that other shoe to drop. But there's never a time when it's just,

it's just going to just feel like it's always going to be easy from here on out. It's always just going to be something that, you know, you're able to just coast. And we'll have those moments of coasting. And we'll have those moments of it feeling easy. But it's, you know, it's going to be, you're going to be in the rapids again. So yeah, there's really never a time that's going to be perfect.

You just got to do it anyways and get through it anyways. And understand, like they said, what's that saying? Like, change is the only constant. Ah. Oh my gosh. Right? So we must as well just go with the flow with the change that we're making around here. What do you want to talk about?

So here we are week two. For some reason in my mind, it's week three, but it's week two. I know it's been prep week, week one. And technically this would be week three of working at this or being back at it. we are week two. So supporting the new you, what does that mean? So supporting the new you is really about understanding where you're at now. We want to get away from this concept of having to do all of the things all of the time because that's not sustainable. You just you can't, you're not going to be able to do all of the things all of the time and feel like this is how

you're going to be able to maintain this path that you're on. So supporting the new you is really getting to know who you are. You know, we started that with redefining your work. why, redefining who you are now, how you want to live now, what feels good for you now. And now that we've, you know, worked through that, you don't have it all figured out yet. But now that we're here, what does that mean for you? What matters to you most at this point? And it's really about defining those intentional actions. Where do you need to intentionally put your effort?

And we're starting to see this a little bit in the group where members are saying, I'm noticing I'm really stressed out this week. This is where I have to put my attention. Not I have to get in all my meals and snacks. I have to drink my water. I have to make sure my sleep is perfect. I have to manage all my stress. I have to move my body.

Like, no. This week, I need to support my stress management. That's where my effort needs to go. So when we talk about consistency, it's making these intentional decisions about where you need to put your effort. And getting to know who you are now. Intentional. It's really intentional. Yeah.

And, you know, we tend to do this. People in weight loss do this. It's all or nothing. Right. And I can't do this right now. There's never a good time. It's not a good time. there's never a good time. And when it comes to losing weight, if not the Libby method,

then what are you doing? And I was just saying this morning, everything that you are doing is leading to, like, yes, eating healthy can help with weight loss, you know, managing your stress can help with your health and wellness, you don't have a heart attack. Trying to get better sleep is good. So, you know, you make better choices and you just feel better and have better energy and moving your body so you're stronger and you don't break your hip when you get older. And like all of those things are all the same things that you want to do to be healthy and to feel your best and to look your best. You take weight loss out of it. What is the value in doing all of those things? And that's what can be so difficult here

in the maintenance program because you're no longer chasing the scale. So then this can really seem like it's all these other things that you need to do right now that are super inconvenient and you don't have time for when the reality is you want to do these things. You want to do these things. And there benefits of so many a reason. So it could be the way of framing them, framing them. Here's Christine, sometimes it's being intentional about the most difficult part that the rest will hopefully follow, sleep, rest. And this is meet yourself where you're at and know what you need. And the thoughts and the feels that pop up, that's the work. That's it. That's the work, right? And yes, managing the stress and getting better sleep and moving your body will put you in a better

mind frame in order to deal with the thoughts and the fields that are popping up. That's the work for you. Yeah. And we know that when we start talking about this week, too, like where we're not, you know, maximizing everything. And we are learning to embrace this point of being super intentional and optimizing. It can bring up that feeling of, am I doing enough? Like, then you feel like, you're, you know, members are saying, but I feel like I'm not doing enough. If I'm not trying to do all the things all the time. Am I doing enough to manage, you know, my set point, to keep my set point where it is. And they feel like they're still in this old diet dialogue. Their mind is still telling them you need to do more, more and more because if you don't, then that cycle is going to

repeat itself. And they don't want to let go of that. And then it's like, I can't possibly do this forever. I can't live like this forever because I'm always trying to do everything all the time. So it's that conversation in your own mind is like, I'm not doing enough. But it's not that you're not doing enough. It's you're doing what matters most. And that is more impactful than trying to do all the things and maybe having all these balls in the air and dropping a few. But if you're doing what matters most, that's going to be more sustainable and more attainable for you. Yeah.

Yeah, because how do you make a knot all these, I have to do all these things, which you need to do anyway, right? That doesn't stop you from thinking, oh my gosh, I have to do all these things. And is it ever enough? And I think it's it's never going to be enough because life is always more. And you're just trying to keep up with life and happen flow with life and go with the changes of life. And you know, you'll never be able to do enough, be enough ever if you're trying to keep up with all of it. And to your point, that's that what, where are you right now and what do you need? What is this season for you?

Maybe be intentional about what is your point? plan for the next however many days we have left of this round, this season. Right. Yes, you're ultimate, you're going to put the time into maintaining your weight and you're going to go live your life. But what would you like to accomplish over the next 91 days? You know, is just solidifying your weight enough, right? Like, is that going to keep you motivated enough? Is that a good enough motivation to show up and do, right? I think reframing your mental part has a lot to do with us. I just want to read some of these comments. here, especially Judy. I've been developing a new social circle to help with my well-being and mental

health. Okay, first of all, how much do I love that? But now I'm socializing so much, it always involves food. Okay, I get that, right? Like, I'm about to go the next couple weeks. I have this business thing. I know there's dinner, there's drinks. I'm away next week for another work thing. I know there's going to be drinks, but I don't want to actually drink. I just don't. How am I going to navigate that? I'm not really sure right now. I'm wondering how to balance both. I thought I had it figured out while losing weight, and now my weight is creeping back up. Alcohol certainly causes inflammation. Process foods also cause inflammation.

But what can you do to decrease the inflammation from alcohol? Make sure you're hydrated, adding a probiotic, some digestive bitters. You can eat, for example, but just don't eat the processed foods or try not to eat after a certain time. I got really good at this with friends, so I don't like eating in the evening. And so a lot of times when I was younger, people would be like, oh, let's go for a dinner. And then like eight, nine, 10 o'clock, and they're ordering food. And I just am like, no thanks. And I just say, oh, I already had a big meal before I came.

Right? And usually you're just saying something to appease other people. If you say, no, I'm on a diet or I don't, whatever, that can just weird people out. So I always just say, oh, my gosh, I just, I'm so stuffed. I had a big lunch today or I had, you know, I was so hungry. I skipped my lunch today. I was so hungry. So I had something to eat before I came.

I'll just have a drink or I'll have a tea or I'll have a, you know, whatever that might be. You want to feel your best. And the last thing you want to do, it sounds like there's some stressing happening while being around people if you're making choices that you don't want to make. And you don't want to make new connections based on that. Yeah. Right. But I get this.

This reminds me that I've told this. before when I first started dating Tony and it was my first introductions to friends. It was at an engagement party that was at a restaurant and they separated the women. They put the men on the one table, the women on the other. It's how they do it. They still do it. And it's great. The men talk about their things. The women, we get a chance to hang out. It's lovely. But this was the first time I was meeting all of these ladies. And it was like 10 o'clock at night. People are finally ordering a full meal and I'm like, I don't, I don't want to eat, but I also don't want to be that girl that is not eating anything. And so I ordered something and I just kind of picked around. No one watched how

much I ate or didn't eat. And I was like, you know, they would have said, I'm like, oh, I, you know, I ate. I would have said I had a dinner or something or I'm going to get this to go. And no one, no one said anything. And that was fine. I picked around it. And then fucking Tony comes over and he's like, well, you ordered food. That's so not like you. You never eat this. plate. And I was like, just fucking shut up. Yeah, I'm trying to put in here. Yeah. Then they ask what I'm doing. And I don't want to be the weight loss girl. Yeah. Who's not eating anything at a table of new people I'm meeting, right? So sometimes you do. Sometimes it's like you just want to be, what is the point of me eating this? I want to be social. Because what is one way we

we use food? To be social, to bond over, to commune over, right? To shared experience over. So maybe there's a time, and maybe this is where you're at right now, those connections. And then maybe as you move forward, okay, be like, what part of this isn't working for me? Is it the drinking? Is it the late eating? Is it what is being presented? Could I bring my own, maybe it's at someone's house and it's a book club, Judy? I don't know, right?

Like, can I bring my own vegetable tray? So at least I know there's vegetables there for me. You might not want to get into your diet if it's a new group of women and you're trying, you know, it's not what you want to connect with people about. But you can't continue this. because although it's giving you something, it's taking from you too. And it's, you, you've worked really hard to create these lifestyle changes. So you do want to maintain them and the people you bring into your life, you know, you, you know, you, you want them to support the new you too, you know.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I think it's interesting that she said, how do I balance both? You know, how do I balance wanting to live this life and be this healthy person, but also have these social connections. And I think that's such a, that's such a indicator of, of what part of our belief system is, that you can't have these social engagements without food. You can't have social engagements without alcohol. You know, and it would be such, such an amazing thing. We could just walk into a place, walk into a gathering, walk into an environment where there's food there. And you're like, but that's not part of how I socialize now. You know, that's just not who I am now. Those are not the decisions on I'm like, and it is, that is the work to be done. That is that,

that thought process and that follow through and how do I fit in here and what, you know, feels good to me now and how do, how can I be a part of this? If, you know, it can take time. But like you said, those new people that you're bringing in, they only know you as this person now, right? Those social connections, they know you as this person, this person who lives this way, who makes choices this way. You don't have to have all this explaining like, oh, I don't do that. You know, what I used to do before, I don't do now. And you don't have to explain that because these are new social connections. They know who you are now and how you live now. Yeah, you get to present this version of you to them. Yeah. Right. You don't have to be. And that's what I love. I had an old friend

in our relationship ended. She just kept treating me like the old, you know, got a divorce. Life was a fucking mess. Like, you know, that version of me. Because I think she needed me to be that version because it made her feel better. And once that relationship ended, it really opened doors to new relationships and new conversations with people and being like, oh my God, I guess I'm not the only one who's, you know, dealing with stuff and really owning who you are and putting your authentic self out there. That can be exactly what you need to help you maintain and sustain your weight because you've got that kind of support system around you. Lorry's here. I did that last week, met up with a group of women in the afternoon, brought veggies and nuts to support

me and feel comfortable. Here's Catherine. Had a beautiful girls night out with my girl. girls from public school. I love that. We've been friends for 50 years and we all brought something to cook and had a beautiful supper than later tea and homemade lemon loaf. Everyone enjoyed every bite of the night. We tried on old dresses from wedding and prom. It was so fun. Went up a bit from a few drinks and bites of bits, but so worth every minute with my BFFs. Like that, you know, and that too, that's going back to an old circle of friends, but you have changed in a way, Catherine, where that was a really enjoyable experience for you and it might not have been in the past, stressing about what to eat, what not eat to eat, feeling uncomfortable in your body.

Like all of that could have been a different situation and not because of weight loss because of the work that you've done, you know, I love that. And I love that this is also, I mean, the other thing I really want to talk about this week was journaling and, you know, how this can be such a doorway to figuring out how to balance both, what matters to you now. And it's not just about journaling and tracking like, okay, I, ate this, I drank this, I slept like this, but journaling your thoughts and your feelings and making those connections, how am I going to navigate this next social gathering? Maybe not even how am I going

navigate or how do I think that I want to navigate it? Because you might not know what the plan is yet, but this is how I'm, you know, this is what I've got going on. This is how I want to feel the next day. You know, what could I do in that situation? How do I feel in that situation? How am I going to navigate if there's food there and I don't really want it or there's drinks there and I don't really want it. This can all be part of journaling. It doesn't need to just, it's not just, you know, tracking, which is also very beneficial, of course, you know, tracking those, those things to help make connections and find your own patterns and fluctuations. But just about helping you work through those feelings and those thoughts and helping you see how you're going to navigate these

situations so that you can balance both, so you can get to know yourself. And I love that we had a member Kat, Kat, who's very vocal in the group. And she said, journaling is helping figure out, what the hell am I doing here? Like what am I like what am I doing? Why am I here? What am I doing here? Like I got to figure this figure this shit out and sometimes it's just writing it all down. Sometimes just like almost like this like unloading of your mind. Sometimes your thoughts don't even make sense. But when you go back and look at them and read them again, you're like, okay, I'm trying to make a point to myself here. I'm trying to figure it out here. And that's why journaling can be so beneficial. A lot of times we complain out there or we talk to our friends out there or whatever, but it's, it's really, it's awareness.

Like, if there's a word that keeps coming up and let's say you're disappointed in your scale or whatever it might be, it's probably not just happening here. It's probably reflective of this word that keeps popping up in your life and something that you're dealing with in the moment and really just being self-aware, but because we are so busy constantly on and doing things, we don't really take the time to stop and be aware, whereas journaling is very intentional about writing down your thoughts so that you can actually like process them, get them out of your mind, get them in front of your face. And everyone's different, right? Like this is why I don't track calories. There's lots of great apps out there for tracking

calories. My app is not that. Right. I want you to focus on the things that you are doing, not the things that you're not doing and the quality of foods, not the calorie content of foods, right? Because that's, to me, that's not what's important here. And so you got to figure out what type of journaling works best for you. My daughter is I'm having some issues with one of my oldest kids. And she's got, she's got like serious mental health issues, but like a personality disorder. And she could just, you know, as much as it's the mental illness,

she's done some horrible things. And we're working through and we're trying to help her and understand her and support her. But it's reflected, like it's affected the kids. one of my daughters who's been the brunt of sort of when this old daughter spirals is so full of anger and just also like guilt and all these feelings and yes there's therapy of course available to her and I said, why don't you journal? Because she writes she journals all the time, but I'm like, why don't you journal about this? Because she likes to cook and school and I'm like, why don't you journal about this?

And then she's like, then what? I'm like, but then just get your feelings out. Yeah. I don't know burn it. If you don't want it to exist, like burn it. And then you could see she was just like, oh, why am I not doing that? Because she journals all the time. She's a whole collection of journals.

And yet this big thing was happening to her. And she was carrying all of this that it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong or what's happened. It's her individual feelings. And same thing with my other dog. It doesn't matter what's gone down. You feel how you feel. She didn't even think to journal that part. of her life because she just journals school and art and cooking and whatever. So it's like if you are

journaling, is there, is like how do you make it personal to what you, you need to get out of it too? Yeah. I actually love seeing that in the group. I've seen that a few times where members will write something and at the end of their kind, they're like, oh, yeah, just writing this down makes me feel better. Yes. And like, yes, that's, that is journaling. Like that is, it's really just getting your thoughts out so that they can make sense. Sometimes you've got so many thoughts in your head and you're just like, where do I go with this? Where, like, where do I, where did the, how do these thoughts come together? Sometimes you just put them on paper, put them digital or maybe it's, for some people it could even be, this is me holding my phone. It's, it's voice, you know, making a voice

note. Yeah. That's what you can do. And then just, and hearing that again and again or or, or just getting it out of your head so you can process it. It's, but that is really the key. It's making it work for you. Like what is what is the process that works for you? Because I don't think I could I could open a book and write like that's I'm not a I'm not a book and writer. But I carry my I carry this around and I will talk to it and I'll just make notes. I'm like, okay, I feel better now. I just had to say it out loud, you know, so find what works for you. For some it's it's coming and putting that in the group. Some it's, you know, pen to paper and some it can be another form of like like I said voice notes or whatever it might be. But I think just getting your thoughts out, it will help you make sense of your thoughts

and help you just feel more. Maybe it will give your, have your head feeling a little bit lighter so you can process exactly what's going on. I think that's great advice, which is why I'm going to ask you and address this next comment from Christine. I did 2.5 programs, lurked here last round for half of the round, no major bumps in the road, easy sailing. In the last month, my daughter 34, diagnosed with MS, and I lost my sister last week. Boom. much stress and turmoil affecting my sleep, mood, and appetite. And given the fact that you've just gone through turmoil yourself and such loss, so dad, you kept showing up. I know it's your job, but you also know you could have taken time off, like you didn't need to be here. I don't know

if it's the same thing. We're showing up for yourself. But do you have tips for like, how did you do it? Yeah. So I read, I'm pretty sure I responded to Christine in the group too. She was saying that she had just lost her sister and um just like and she was saying i tried to eat i'm trying i'm trying to eat and drink and i was like girl you you don't need to try and eat and drink right now because that's what you know you have to do i said it's really about taking care of yourself and um i remember this and this is not to say like um that you know what i don't want to i don't want this for you Gina, to feel like I'm only saying this because it's you. But I remember when your son was sick at sick kids and he was there like for a month. That's how long I've been hanging around here.

You said, I had to take care of myself to take care of him. And then when my son, I'm not going to cry. My son also got sick in 2024. And I did not want to take care of myself. I only wanted to take care of him. But I had to take care of myself to take care of him. And then now with, when my sister was sick, which was so devastating. I still, when I read Christine's comment, it brought everything back again. I had to take care of myself to take care of her. And part of taking care of myself was just eating the little bits that I could. And it was really, for almost a month, I was eating soup.

Some days it was two spoonfuls. Some days it was a whole bowl. I was showing up because showing up felt like something good I could do for myself. So, you know, I wasn't here and active in the group, but I was still feel, I still felt like I was part of a community. So I showed up that way because that part felt good for me to keep showing up and doing that. So it's always in the back of my mind, like I'm not, it can feel really selfish to take care of yourself sometimes.

But if you're taking care of yourself to take care of business, like I don't mean business, like work business, but take care of what you have to do. For me, I was taking care of myself so I could. take care of my nieces and nephews so I could take care of my sister so I could take care of that. So I was taking care of myself. It felt unselfish. It was helping me take care of them. And I think it takes time to understand what your capacity is too. Like I, like there was no way I was going to be having breakfast, morning snack, lunch, two afternoon snacks and dinner. I just wasn't doing that. I couldn't do that at that time. So I honored what I could do to help take care of

myself and that was a little bit of soup here and there was making sure I had water. Yeah, there were some days where I only had coffee all day. But then at the end of the day, I'm like, okay, I'm going to, I don't feel great. I want to feel good tomorrow to help support them. So I'm going to take care of myself to help take care of them. And that's really how I kept showing up was I tried to keep that in my mind. Take care of yourself to take care of them because it helped, you know, ease that burden of taking care of myself, feeling selfish. Well, and when you, listen, and we've all used wine and alcohol alcohol. Oh, I did.

Yeah. But it doesn't, at some point, it doesn't make it better for you and it makes it worse for you. Yeah. And maybe it's the resonating. I think what I'm hearing from you, Odette is like your, your why kind of changed in the moment, you know, was keep going. Your why wasn't to show up at work every day. Your why was just to keep going and putting one foot in front of the other. Yeah.

That's the time today. And I just, I just didn't want to let that one go. And then I have another comment here. I thought from Mary, which is interesting, that I was going to suggest we put off to Wednesday. But I think it's kind of in the, it's in the similar lane. Some of my dear friends who've been very supportive now make negative comments about their bodies, weight, and food choices. They say, I won't have dessert because you aren't. It makes me uncomfortable and afraid that I won't be invited.

I don't want my presence to be a wet blanket. it. See what I mean? I was like, I don't want to let this go. They're not your people if they don't invite you because of how you've chosen to live your life. And that's a them issue. But that's a lot easier said than done, right? You could say something to them of like, you guys don't not have a dessert.

because of me, like that's ridiculous. Yeah. You know, or are they looking for, are they looking for an invitation to do the program maybe? Like, I know that sounds really weird and I'm not trying to sell memberships. It's like some people won't ask for permission or maybe they feel like they want to do what you've done, but they don't want to ask you. Like you're not supposed to talk about people's weight and all of that.

Like, I think that there's, their intention might not even, they might not even be aware of what they're doing. but I can only imagine how you're feeling. It's heavy feels. And that's why I mean, it's the same lane, those heavy feels. Because you don't want to sabotage what you're doing to try to make other people happy. But I know that's, it's complicated. That's complicated.

Yeah, it's complicated. And I mean, I've had that in the grocery store where I've run into members. And they're like trying to hide the food in their cart. You know, like, I'm like, I love you anyway. It's okay that you have Oreos in your cart. Like it's okay, you know, and I think that's, it's their own uncomfortable feeling like they have this, they have to live up to something or they have to prove something or they have to, like, is it their own worthiness? They like, they, you know, like, oh, if you're doing this, do you think you're better than me because you're not having dessert? So I'm not going to have dessert to prove I'm just as good as you. Like what, where is that coming from? And I think it's, we don't want it to be our burden to say. you know, I'm still okay with you if you have dessert. Like, you're still my friend. You're, you don't have to live the way I live. And if you want to, let's talk about it. Let's,

let's do this together, you know, because I feel great and I, and I love living this way and making these choices. And if you want to, I can help you. But if you don't want to, that's okay too. Like, I'm still hanging around here. I'm still part of it. You know, I still want to be around you. So, yeah. I don't care what. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It It is tricky. I don't care. I could care less what you eat, right? Like, that's just me, because I don't have an issue with it. And, you know, if you can't, if I made, if you come for dinner and I made you something that you can't eat, let's say you have an allergy, I wouldn't be like, oh, my God, I'd be like, okay. Or if you just didn't like a certain thing, I'd be like, okay. Or if you're not eating dessert, I'd be like, okay. Like, that would be the end of it for me because I don't have any issue with it. So this is where it's their issue, not yours. But that's, that's, I mean, you can't just say that, right? Because we want to have. friends. We want to be invited. We want to be included. It could be a matter of saying, oh, like, I hope you're not doing that. No, don't do that because of me. What are you talking about? Yeah. Right. Like, I'm like, please stop. You enjoy your dessert. Like, you know, whatever.

And then maybe it's a matter of opening up that conversation. Be like, gosh, I hope you're not going to stop inviting me. Yeah. Desert. Like, oh my gosh. You know. And you can make it, make like, give me that pie. Like your friendship is more important to me. It's just. just that I, you know, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. So just, I think, you know, not enough women are having conversations. Like, not enough people have actual conversations. People just take something, something that was said, they don't pick up the phone. They don't follow it through with the conversation. No one talks to each other anymore about anything. So I would maybe use this as, if you care about them, use this as an opportunity and be like,

hey, something's bothering me. You know, and maybe I feel, I'm, you know, I don't want to. Yeah. And this is, this goes. this plays into that conversation of fear that we had. We're going to have more of it, too. This competition of fear, like, I don't want my presence to be a wet blanket. Like, where is that fear coming from? Why do you think you're going to be a wet blanket? You know, maybe we, maybe it's just thinking, thinking about it a little bit differently, too. Like, maybe you'll be an inspiration instead of being a wet blanket. Maybe you'll be, you know, that little beacon of hope and change that can happen instead of being a wet blanket. I know it's, that's not easy because we do come from

this place of fear. I mean, everything we see is like, use this toothpaste or you won't have friends because your breath will stink and don't, you know, you know, if you have pimples, no one to love you. Like, it's always fun if you don't drink. Like I am, I'm actually more fun when I don't drink. I'm just like a different kind of fun when I drink. Yeah, different kind of fun. Yeah. And so, yeah, I think that you do, we do live in a little bit in this place of fear of, you know, what's going to happen if I, you know, do I not fit in now? Am I not part of this now? And you're just a different part of it. That's some big feels. Some big feels today, you guys.

And on a Monday. You know, I'm here for it. I'm right here with you with it. And it's not good, though. I don't feel dark, dark or down or gloomy or anything. I feel pretty good at this conversation. I think we want to walk away from these conversations, truly feeling lighter and being like, okay, or feeling like you're not alone or maybe you got some tips or you just got

off your chest and shared. Like, this is, this is about living lighter, not just physically in your body, but also in your mind, you know, there's a lot of weight that we're carrying us to heavy conversation today and we're here for it. I wouldn't have it the other way. Yeah, we're here for it because I appreciate all of you. I've got to go. I got to eat my bok choy. It's a leafy green and a vegetable at the same time. It takes two boxes. I'm not going to be here on Wednesday. So I think Kim's going to come and fill in. And you have a guest on Thursday. I do. So number one, surprise Kim. You're going to join me on Wednesday if you're listening.

Oh. So I don't think it's been formally set yet, but yeah, put your makeup on. You're joining me at 6.A. Or no, 9 a.m. It's 9 a.m. for her. Not 6 a.m. Yeah. Yes.

And then Thursday, Dr. Beverly. I mean, how exciting is that? We love her. And she's like, what do you want to talk about? I'm like, I'll tell you Thursday. Let's just see how it's going. Yeah. Let's just see what our members need on Thursday because there's, like, things can change from day to day.

So I'm going to, we're going to talk about what our members are talking about, what they're feeling, you know? And I think this conversation from last week, too, about this reward system, how do you feel like what you're doing here even matters and why you even doing it? So she's going to come in and she's going to rock our world like she always does. Maybe she'll have an acronym acronym, no pressure. No pressure. But, yeah, I'm really excited for her to come on. No pressure, but pressure.

Yeah. Okay. Well, this is a great way to start a Monday. I appreciate you. I appreciate everyone who's watching us live or after the fact. I will be on tomorrow, though. I'll see everyone tomorrow for our Q&A. I absolutely love that.

So keep those questions coming. Have a great day, everyone. Same to you. Thank you. You too. Bye.